Feeling lonely and disconnected? Looking for practical ways to manage those feelings and foster a sense of connection and belonging? Look no further!
In this episode of Health Bite, Dr. Adrienne Youdim shares valuable insights on the importance of connection and its impact on our health and wellbeing. Loneliness is not just a bad feeling, it has tangible consequences on our physical and mental health. But the good news is, we can change our perception and reframe our narrative to cultivate meaningful connections.
So we can address our ‘subjective’ loneliness, we shared a healthful writing practice exercise in this episode. You don;’t want to miss this out. It involves engaging in a dialogue with your loneliness. Allow yourself to explore and receive insights from this exercise.
What You’ll Learn From this Episode:
- The impact of loneliness on individual and societal health
- Ways to manage feelings of loneliness and foster connection
- The health consequences of social disconnection
“Loneliness is a subjective feeling of perceived disconnection.” - Dr. Adrienne Youdim
Prompt For the Writing Practice Mentioned in This Episode
Here's an example of how you can engage in the writing practice:
- Find a quiet and comfortable space where you can sit down with a journal or a piece of paper.
- Set a timer for 10-15 minutes to ensure uninterrupted writing time.
- Start by writing "Me:" and then ask the problem or symptom that is bothering you a question. For example, "Why are you here?"
- Then, switch perspectives and write "Symptom:" and respond to your own question from the perspective of the problem or symptom. Don't overthink it, just let your thoughts flow onto the paper.
- Continue this dialogue between "Me" and "Symptom" for the duration of the writing exercise. Allow yourself to explore your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
- Remember to keep writing continuously, even if you feel stuck or unsure of what to say. Just let your thoughts and emotions guide your writing.
- Once the timer goes off, take a moment to reflect on what you have written. Notice any insights or patterns that may have emerged during the exercise.
- If you feel comfortable, you can choose to revisit and reflect on your writing at a later time to gain further clarity or understanding.
Remember, this writing exercise is a tool for self-reflection and exploration. It can help you uncover deeper insights and gain a better understanding of the issues or concerns that may be causing you distress.
Connect with Dr. Adrienne Youdim
Connect with Dr. Adrienne Youdim
3 Ways to Get More From Adrienne
1. Subscribe to our Newsletter. Subscribe Now and get the 5 Bites to Fasttrack your Health and Wellbeing https://dradrienneyoudim.com/newsletter/
2. Buy the Book. The current weightloss strategies have failed you. Its time to address your true hunger. Purchase 'Hungry for More' https://www.amazon.com/Hungry-More-Stories-Science-Inspire/dp/0578875632
3. Leave us a Rating and Review via Apple Podcast. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/health-bite/id1504295718
As we exit valentines day, you may have seen many posts on loneliness, relationships, how they impact your life and how they impact your health. As a podcast dedicated to improving your health and wellbeing one bite at a time, I wanted to reframe the narrative in the last week to share the very practical and doable things we can do to manage the feelings of loneliness that we inevitably will all feel at some point in time to help foster feelings of connection and belonging to the world around you. As I have mentioned in my book Hungry for More, this feeling of connectedness can ease the universal hunger that we often seek to soothe with food.
Welcome back to Healthbite, I'm your host Dr Adrienne Youdim. I am triple board certified as an internist, obesity medicine and physician nutrition specialist and I help people redefine nutrition to include not only the food that we eat well but all the ways we can nourish ourselves physically, mentally and emotionally.
Vivek Murthy, the surgeons general of the US has made it his mission to address loneliness as his research has shown that loneliness is more than just a bad feeling, it has tangible consequences to both individual and societal health. But before we go any further I want to point out that loneliness is a subjective feeling of perceived disconnection. Let me repeat that:
a subjective feeling of perceived disconnection.
What this means is that feelings of loneliness and isolation may not be rooted in reality. One may perceive this feeling despite being in a romantic relationships, despite having friends and connections, despite have resources and opportunities for connection all around them.
This for me is an incredibly hopeful because it tells me that we can change that perception and therefore the feeling of isolation by reframing our narrative.
First lets talk about why a feeling of connection and belonging is so important.
Humans are as they say social creatures and we have evolved to live in community as a mechanism of survival. We were more likely to survive in the wild when we were in community when others could help stave off harm. A predator is more likely to kill a lone ranger as compared to a pac of 10. We are more likely to stave off environmental threats too. Think about it, huddling with others in the cold is a protective of succumbing to icy conditions. And of course It is also a matter of reproduction. We are more likely to find a mate in community therefore more likely to continue our lineage and survive extinction.
Even when it comes to animals in the wild, they travel in pacs because doing so reduces their risk of being ambushed by a predator and more likely to survive. Our ancestors depended on each other to help them meet their basic needs. Living in isolation meant having to fulfill the demands of survival on one’s own and so Our brains have adapted to expect proximity to others.
To be fair it is a matter of survival but wellbeing and a healthier and higher quality of life. Loneliness is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and premature death. And I know you probably heard this statistic this week. The (mortality) impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day. Kinda makes you think, well hell, I might as well start smoking then. But before you go there I want to reiterate that we can cultivate connection in meaningful ways that are right there at our finger tips. So lets talk about how.
Well first, we can work to increase the number and variety of our relationships. Consider who is right under our nose that we are missing out on? Perhaps co-workers, or neighbors or other potential connections that we have not thought to cultivate. Perhaps you consider sitting in the “lunch room” if that exists, or take your staff to lunch or offer a walking lunch and walk and talk with a co-worker that you dont typically connect with. Maybe you knock on a neighbors door and offer them a meal or a sweet. Recently I took over a box to a neighbor that was misdirected to my home. She offered that I come in, I had work to do but the fire was lit inside and I thought well why not. In the 10-15 minutes we spent chatting, we had such a meaningful conversation it nearly brought us both to tears. Well that was unexpected.
Maybe you reach out to a friend that you have not heard from or seen in a while or a family member. As you know I come from a Persian family, we are by nature large and very inter-twined. Sometimes annoyingly so. But I have realized there are people in my family unit, people that I have married into that I love and enjoy but take for granted. I never think to go out with them as friends because they are family and why not? There are relationships that we can cultivate that are right under our nose.
THe second is cultivating the quality of the relationships we have. How engaged are you in your relationships? Are you present or absent minded. IF you do have a partner, do you make time to connect, do you make time for date night or do are you like 2 ships passing in the night? If the latter is true I get it….
How vulnerable are you in your relationships? Do you share your distress, do you ask for help? The ability to be vulnerable gives permission for others to do the same building upon the quality of the relationships in your life.
What about strangers? Studies show that we can foster a sense of connection with complete strangers simply but in a way that has profound physical and mental health implications. Examples of this are merely smiling at the man bagging your groceries, making small talk with the barista at your favorite coffee shop, offering to hold the door for someone else. THese little acts of connection may seem trivial but can you believe they positively impact our health?
Are there places where you can meet new friends. This seems like an impossibility especially in LA where we all travel to and fro in our cars alone. Often my single patients say, Im not in school anymore and I work from home. How am I supposed to meet someone? What about joining a writing club, hiking club, taking a class at a local community college, going to church or group that emminates from your church or synogogue or other faith based group. What about volunteering at a local library, a food pantry, or an animal shelter. Service-related activities can have an even greater health boosting effect, studies show, by giving us a sense of purpose o meaning
Remember that we can foster feelings of connection with pets too. When we pet our furry friend, we release love hormones like oxytocin in our bodies. And so do our pets. Oxytocin, known as THE love hormone facilitates not only feelings of love but also of bonding and connection- the antidote to loneliness.
And finally remember that connection does not have to be limited to other beings. Studies show that connecting with the natural environment around us has profound physical, mental and emotional healing effects. Take some time to sit ourside at a park or near a body of water. Close your eyes and really connect with the natural world around you. Remember that we are big but we are also very small. Small specks that are interconnected in this vast vast world. Remember that we may perceive ourselves as alone but we are in fact all connected. It is often our perception more than our reality that disconnects us.
As I shared in last weeks pod and as I share frequently, understanding our common humanity is a critical piece of self compassion and in this case a critical piece to reframing the subjective feelings of loneliness. We all feel disconneted and lonely at some point in time. If so many of us are all feeling it, then how can we really be alone?
Grateful for you all connecting with me each week and making me feel connected. Our numbers are growing and that gives me so much joy. Please leave us a review on apple podcast or anywhere you listen. It is a critical piece to growing this podcast and our message of health and wellbeing. I hope you have a great week and I look forward to seeing you again next week on HealthBite.