237. Why High Achievers Ask ‘Is This It?’ How to Break Free from Restlessness and Find True Purpose

What if the most successful person in your network was secretly asking "Am I living my best life?"—and despite all achievements, the answer was no?

Meet Steve Wilt, financial executive with a thriving practice and community respect, who felt something was missing. Today he shares how he went from the "fat cat" path to becoming the guide other executives seek out.

In this episode, Dr. Adrienne Youdim, and Steve discovered what every Resilient Minds participant learns: when you address the underlying hungers beneath your restlessness, you become the leader others follow.

What You'll Learn:

• Why successful people feel empty and how to recognize the "fat cat" trap
• How community with respected peers accelerates transformation
• The Resilient Minds Framework - Regulate, Restore, Reframe: the systematic approach that transformed Steve
• Resilient Mind Transformation  - From questioning everything to becoming the mentor other leaders seek out

"Despite being a high achiever... I didn't feel like the direction I was going was leading to kind of why I was here. Resilient Minds unlocked an entirely new version of me—from questioning everything to becoming the guide other leaders seek out." - Steve Wilt

Steve's Transformation after joining the Resilient Mind Cohort:

• Before: Successful but restless, questioning his direction, heading toward "fat cat" irrelevance
• After: Clear purpose, energized leadership, other executives asking "How do I get involved?"

The Process: 8-week Resilient Minds program addressing underlying hungers through mind-body practices

Remember: Your mind, body, and soul know how to move you to your next level. The question is: Are you ready to take action? 

This featured interview is a special edition of our #ResilientMindsCaseStudy series, highlighting real transformations from high achievers who have shifted from depletion to a place of clarity, vitality, and intention. 

3 Ways that Dr. Adrienne Youdim Can Support You

• Join Resilient Minds: If this sounds familiar, you're exactly who Resilient Minds is designed for. Next cohort starts September 30th - Limited to 12 high-achieving professionals ready to move from success to significance.
  Ready to stop asking "Is this it?" and start living like you know it isn't?
  Application details here: https://www.dradrienneyoudim.com/resilient-minds
• Subscribe to Dr. Adrienne's weekly newsletter https://www.dradrienneyoudim.com/newsletter.
• Connect on Instagram : Follow @dradrienneyoudim for tips and inspiration on well-being and peak performance.

Transcript

Adrienne Youdim: Today's episode is a special one. We are talking about reinvention, resilience, and the often unspoken experience of men in the second half of life. My guest is Steve Wilt, a seasoned financial executive and someone who like many high performers. Found himself at a moment of reflection. What happens when you've done all the right things and still feel like something is missing?

How do you reevaluate and redefine success, especially when the world expects you to have it all figured out. The result is a deeply inspiring conversation in which Steve shares how his vulnerability, courage, and openness to practices like self-inquiry, reflection, and grounding practices for emotional regulation helps him reconnect to his purpose and live his best life yet.

Welcome back to Health Bite, the podcast where we explore the essential nutrients that support your physical, mental, and emotional health and wellbeing. I'm your host, Dr. Adrian Adeem, a physician, author, and expert in medical weight loss and mind body medicine. I help high achieving professionals address the deeper hungers that drive reactivity burnout and self-sabotaging behaviors.

Each week I offer solutions grounded in science and experience from obesity, medicine to nutrition to mind body practices designed to help you shift from depletion to a place of clarity, vitality, and intention, so that you can achieve personal and professional success without sacrificing your health and wellbeing.

Well, Steve, welcome to the podcast. I'm so happy to have you here, 

Steve Wilt: Adrian. Thank you. I'm excited to be here and looking forward to our conversation today. 

Adrienne Youdim: Well, we've had so many wonderful conversations together, and I think there's a lot of value to be had here because you have explored something that is really important to me in terms of.

You know, I think much of our personal growth and our professional growth is really dependent in our ability to recognize transitions and to pivot in our lives. At least that's how it's been for me personally, and yet I don't think we're given permission to do so. I think in particular men. Are not allowed to do so, and especially men that are past midlife.

And I'll just quantify that before I get your thoughts. You know, for women, we talk about like, we have menopause, we have medical transitions, we have, we talk about their empty nesting so much more openly or midlife. But when it comes to men, we're either talking about it as a crisis, right? As a midlife crisis.

That always makes me think of a yellow Lamborghini. And we also think about it as relegated to a certain time of life. And, and when you pass that you should have it all together perhaps, and not need to pivot. So that's a lot. I wonder what, how that lands and, and what your thoughts are. 

Steve Wilt: Well, I think it's a good observation.

Um, I did not experience the traditional midlife crisis. I didn't need the fast car, wasn't trying to prove myself or retain my youth, but I did have some restlessness around my direction. As I started to explore what's next, what really came up for me is, you know, was I living my best life? You know, despite being a high achiever, despite, you know, whatever success I've had at work and in the community, I didn't feel like the direction I was going was leading to, you know, kind of why I was here if you were, and, and there was something more out there.

And that's when I started my inner work journey. I started thinking through these things. 

Adrienne Youdim: I wonder in terms of having permission to, to explore, did that weigh on you at all? Did you feel like maybe a cultural taboo or a professional taboo in terms of exploring transitions in your life or the need or the desire to, to transition?

Steve Wilt: I think the first step I took, I almost stumbled into it. You know, we have a mutual friend, Dominic Corcio, and he was brought in to speak at our firm about seven years ago, and he talked about some of these softer concepts. He talked about meditation and breath work and different areas there, and I actually signed up to go on a retreat with them and I thought it was more business, and I realized what I was getting into, you know, immediately the next thing we're doing is, you know, learning box breathing and working on meditations, and it was wonderful.

I was thrilled to be working on that because I've done. A lot of self-development in my life. You know, when I was hit, I did the Dale Carnegie classes that I've done Focus four and I get nurtured our work all the time. But I knew there was something out there. When I read his book, Purpose-Driven Life, it drove me to thinking, yeah, what is my purpose and what can I do differently?

And maybe there's a different way to look at things. And you know, that's when I started this journey. 

Adrienne Youdim: Do you think that that's kind of out there in the stratosphere? Do you think that people, we'll talk about the meditation and the soft skills in a minute, but just, you know, that. Willingness or the, the inclination to go within and to recognize that maybe my purpose is something different.

Is that something that's out there right now? Or, and how do, how does one stumble, you know, you mentioned stumble. How does one stumble upon that? 

Steve Wilt: It's a great question. I, I do think that the taboo is not what it was for men. I feel like there's a lot of people out there embracing this type of work, and I don't think it's looked down upon, or at least.

Not that I can see anymore. And what I started to share with others, whether it was friends or leaders in the community or within my practice and business, I felt that men were pining for and asking, well, how do I get involved in that? How do I start? Where do I go? And so I do think there's a, the majority of men out there are.

Looking for that next step, that self-improvement, how can they be the best selves finding It can be challenging, you know, but there's a lot of podcasts now, yours included. There's a lot of books out there. There's um, you know, a lot of groups out there that you can join and, you know, when we would tell people we're part of a mastermind and then, you know, doing with yours, which we'll chat about, it's so hard to articulate what that is.

You know, why are a bunch of men getting together every week and having a call and talking about. All these personal issues, but the benefit of that is something that you, you don't usually get with your friends. You only go so deep, you know? Uh, so to go really deep and uh, to learn what others are experiencing and how they're handling it and how you feel about it unlocks an entire new version of you.

And for me, um, I mean, I'm so blessed that I did have that opportunity and that I have been doing this work for these years. In locked. One really big key that you know about, we'll talk about, I'm sure 

Adrienne Youdim: the component of connection is with like-minded peers is so critical to validating that experience that we all have to validating, like, I I like to say the hungers, those unmet needs, that itch that we experience.

Uh, I think that that sense of community does give one permission. To explore. 

Steve Wilt: I agree. Um, and hearing it from other men that you respect and that are successful and that are high achievers and knowing that they're maybe struggling with some of the same things, it'll allows you to take, um, you know, that step to be a little bit more courageous, uh, to not be worried about, you know, letting it out there, letting your feelings show.

And it is that camaraderie that's a big part of it. It's a big key. To the whole equation. 

Adrienne Youdim: Before we get into kind of the nuts and bolts of that, uh, let's step back and, and talk a little bit about what exactly was your transition. You had, you had health transitions, you had professional transitions. Can you talk a little bit about those things?

Steve Wilt: Sure. I think I was going down the path, I don't know if this is an accurate term almost of becoming a fat cat. My wife and I talk about that term of, of men who, uh, you know, again, have success, but. We're celebrating that success and maybe not turning it into significance, going from success to significance and how you give back in the world within your family, your friendships, your community.

Those in need for me was a massive improvement. I was already involved in a lot of nonprofits and doing a lot of things, but taking that to the next level and making it the center of what I'm trying to accomplish has been a big difference. And then, as you know personally. Becoming more healthful and getting more energy.

And for me it was the choice to live alcohol free. That was the final, you know, the final domino that felt, because I was feeling pretty good at 55, but at 61, I feel like I'm 45. You know, being alcohol free was the first step, but that also led to, you know, better nutrition, better working workouts, better sleep, all the mind body work that we're gonna talk about.

All those things have. Stack themselves on top of each other to really where I really do feel like the best version of myself. And I'll just share, you know, a saying that I've heard that that drove it home for me. And it's goes like this. It is that the definition of hell, the, on your deathbed, the person you could have become.

Meets the person that you became, the person you could have become, meets the person you became. And I had this vision of myself on my deathbed, not as you know, bright-eyed living life to the fullest, but a watered down version of that. And the person that I was meeting was so much better in so many ways, and it scared me.

It literally scared me to say, if I don't turn my direction a little bit. I'm gonna end up regretting part of my life and, you know, really get one shot. And it was then that it came to me during a meditation actually, of all things in a meditation that I will never be that person if I don't become alcohol free.

And it was shocking to me because no one had ever told me that I should drink less or quit drinking no one. But I knew in my heart of hearts it was holding me back, but wasn't allowing me [00:11:00] to be the best version of myself. So it all accumulated into those choices and decisions. So that was scary too. 

Adrienne Youdim: So many, uh, great nuggets there.

First of all, from success to significance. I, I love that. I think that could be a title for a book. So I, I, I have, so I just wanna put a pin in that one. But, you know, a couple things that you said really stand out. One is I'm really intrigued by the fact that you. You were drinking to a degree that was unhelpful to you, but you, it wasn't, it sounds like it wasn't top of mind or it hadn't bubbled up to the surface of your mind.

It was something that intuitively you knew, no one had really said anything, and you, you really came to this realization from, from slowing down, from pause. And I think that evaluation process really requires pause. 

Steve Wilt: I would agree. Yeah. Yeah. To be clear, I never hit rock bottom. Nothing happened in my life to make me say, oh no, it's time to stop.

Um, you know, but coming outta COVID and those types of stresses, I was drinking more than I ever had, as 38% of Americans were at all time high there. And I was one of them. Yeah. Through that meditation. Uh, and when that hit me, I decided that I needed to take a break. I decided to take an extended break, and, you know, I took seven months off.

During that period of time, everything improved. I felt so much better. Short story Trump Short. I decided to moderate for a while. That didn't work. I didn't feel good. I'm not a good moderator. So long story short, I decided to live alcohol free and I'm coming up on four years of the journey. Three years alcohol free now.

But yeah. And part of what resonates with my story is I think there's a lot of men and women out there who know that it's in their way, right? They get up in the morning and say, I'm not gonna drink today, and then they. Succumb to it, or they say, I'm only gonna have one and they have two, or they go into the weekend, and like all those types of things, those deals we make with ourselves.

But it's not to the point where anyone's saying, oh, that person has a drinking problem, but they know when they look in the mirror. And that's really it. Like if you look in the mirror and you have a little bit of imposter syndrome because of alcohol, which is a drug and a toxin and addictive, by the way, which many people don't realize, then maybe it's time to take a break.

And my whole message around alcohol is. Take 90 days off. Like I never tell anyone they should quit. I'll never judge anyone for drinking. I joke that I had a 38 year successful drinking career, but so many people that I know now have taken 90 days off. And at the end of 90 days you get to see what your body and your mind are like without that substance in it.

And many choose the same path I choose, and some choose to have it in their lives, you know? But you will never know unless you take an extended brain. 

Adrienne Youdim: Yeah, I mean, alcohol is a really poignant one because it's. Something that we've so normalized in our society and also never really talked about the risks.

I think smoking kind of everyone in our generations. Knew before they started that it was problematic. But alcohol was always sold as something healthful, uh, and beneficial. And as someone who had taught other doctors about the Mediterranean diet for years, you know, I did the same. Uh, but just this week, the US Task Force has recommended that we screen all adults in our regular annual visits on alcohol use.

So alcohol is definitely, I think, an important one to call out specifically, but to me like this, the alcohol, it can be alcohol, it can be food, it can be smoking, but it can also be these other subtleties that are culturally accepted, like overworking, over pleasing. These are kind of ways that I think we, we kind of pave over again our.

Underlying hunger or unmet need, like that itch or something to do more, but that we distract ourselves with these other things. I think that's where the practices of resilient minds, for example, comes in. Because [00:15:00] to your point, we don't even know sometimes that we're distracting or that we're soothing.

Um, we have to really be intentional about even understanding that reactivity. 

Steve Wilt: I couldn't agree more. For me, that was the thing that I locked it, but I know so many of the people that have been through this type of work and yeah, food is a great example. And, and, and you are the definitive expert on that stress.

Uh, the, the hunger for success and what that brings and all those different things. Again, you know those better than we're all searching for that dopamine hit and we go at it different ways. But when you do this in our work and you really dig deep and you find out. Is that really what you're charging for?

Is that really what is gonna satisfy you in your life? Is that really what's gonna make the people around you happy? Um, and sometimes it just fills the hole, but it doesn't give you that fulfillment and that happiness and that joy that you really deserve in life. And uncovering that through this type of work is just a critical step.

To getting from that to that next level. 

Adrienne Youdim: I think when people hear the word inner works, it, it seems kind of nebulous. We don't really know what that means, and it can mean different things for different people. And I know that you did a lot of work and, and your, for example, alcohol free journey came far before, you know, the time that you did the Resilient Minds work, but specifically talking about.

Mind body skills like breathing practices, meditation, guided visualization, shaking practice, expressive writing. There's a, there's a whole series of practices we did together. I wonder what really landed it stuck with you. What surprised you? 

Steve Wilt: Uh, well, what landed with me was the, uh, tummy breathing, um, and the, the deep breathing 

Adrienne Youdim: belly.

Yes. The belly breathing. 

Steve Wilt: Belly breathing. Thank you. That deep breathing exercise and how quickly that can de-stress and how quickly that can settle you down. And I use it now, Adrian, since we've been together in business. I use it in golf, I use it in tennis when I'm playing competitively in any of these pieces.

And I'll put my sunglasses on when I have a minute. I'll do some deep breathing to slower my heart rate and to reduce the anxiety of the moment. And it has been significantly impactful. I've had success that I didn't normally have, and I, I attribute a lot of it to that. My ability to settle down in the moment and to relax.

The expressive writing shocked me. I didn't know I had it in me, you know? But when we sat down and just went through it and page after page poured out. The epiphanies that came from that was so incredibly powerful. And that's a tool that, um, I'm committed to using more. Don't use it like I do the breath work 'cause I use that every couple of days.

[00:18:00] It's a, um, but sitting down and doing the expressive writing and just having, you know, those, those kind of hidden thoughts and ideas and concepts that you wanna. To, to move with or eliminate from your life. Pour out on the page is extremely powerful. And that one, that one was surprising to me when. 

Adrienne Youdim: Yeah, it is.

I mean, even for someone who, who teaches it and understands the science behind it, still practically speaking, it, it shocks me too how incredibly effective these practices can be in real time. Really quick, I mean, we are a, uh, quick nation, a quick fix nation, and on some level this is, this deep work takes time, but on some level you also.

Achieve the benefits so quickly, what were there any that were difficult for you to do and what would you to say to people who, I mean, there's so many people out there who [00:19:00] just say, oh, I can't do that. I can't meditate. You know, like, I'm just not made for meditate. I'm too fast, I'm too busy. Or, or their, their mind is too busy.

Physiologically cannot do that. Did you have that experience for any of the practices and what would you say to someone who, who has that experience themselves? 

Steve Wilt: Uh, well I'll start with the second part of the question. That is, I would say, to get involved with someone that can help you do it. Right? So what we did in the resilient minds and the, and the practice that you offer, you teach people how to do that.

So I've had so many people say, oh, I can't meditate, to your point, right? Just like people say I can't take naps and uh, caffeine doesn't bother me. I can sleep. But like all those kind of myths, yeah, you can't do these things, but like anything you need taught how to do that. And you are awesome at teaching people how to do it, how to step back, how to relax.

And when you're in a group like we had together with a bunch of other high achievers and you're doing something together, the expectation is you're gonna do it. You learn how to make it happen. I think the one that was the most difficult for me was the drawing exercise. Uh, one, I'm a horrible artist.

Like, uh, my stick figures paled in comparison to everyone else on the call. That one was really tough for me, partially because of that, and I don't know if my, it just, uh. It was tough to get it on paper. It was tough to translate it into what we were trying to do, and it, it ended up being impactful, but it was more difficult for one, for me to embrace and get through.

Adrienne Youdim: I think the things that we struggle with really do have the opportunity to give us the most impact on the other side. I think that's, that's part of it. The struggle is really representing that there's something important there that is wanting or needing to be uncovered. 

Steve Wilt: Yeah, I, I would agree with that a hundred percent.

Yeah. 

Adrienne Youdim: You know, the other thing that I hear oftentimes is that there, the time component, like, I don't have time to do this. That's a huge one for, for [00:21:00] high achievers. Like you and I completely understand that as a practicing physician and mom and wife and you know, all the hats. How did you find the time?

How do you find the time going forward and what would you say to that piece of it 

Steve Wilt: that's, that's such a. I would say that finding time to become the best version of yourself, what would be much more important than that when you approach me about joining the group? I just locked it on my calendar. Like I do my team meetings, like I do other things, my workouts, like I do my tennis, like I just put it on there.

I said, all right, these nights from this period of time, I'm gonna be available and it's something I'm gonna do for myself. And. Doing that again in all the self-improvement that I've done throughout my life, and I'm sure many of your listeners have done to get to the next step. If you wanna become a better golfer, you gotta take lessons.

You gotta go to the range. You gotta work on it. If you want to become a better [00:22:00] version of yourself, you need to invest in that, and you need to invest your time. It doesn't just happen, but the outcomes and the epiphanies and the direction. That you get from doing this kinda work and the work that we did in your group and the relationships, uh, the, the value is insurmountable.

I'm a better person because of the work that you and I did together. A better version of me. I'm more calm and fulfilled and life is easier. And it was, you know, eight weeks. I mean, that's not a ton of time once a week to commit to. Take yourself to the next level, 

Adrienne Youdim: and your contributions were invaluable as well.

I, I think for anyone who's considering, uh, engaging in these practices in community, recognizing that, that we're not only doing it for ourselves, but we are doing it for each other because we get so much, forget the facilitator or the, the person who's teaching. We get so much from each [00:23:00] other's exper lived experiences, and so it is in service.

Of, uh, yourself, but is also in service of others. And yeah. And to that point, that takes me really to this thought of like the trickle effect or the ripple effect of engaging these practices. Can you speak to that a little bit? Like how has it impacted. Specifically tangible changes in your life, tangible changes in your leadership style?

I don't know. Uh, your relationships. 

Steve Wilt: I mean, my relationships, that's, that's an easy one. You know, my, my wife jokes, she calls me Benjamin Button because it feels like I'm getting younger all the time. I am at home and at work. I'm much more calm and I, I was never an angry person, but when, when problems arise, I now just assume the best.

We don't know if it's a problem until we know it's a problem or we don't know what led up to it. We don't know if it's easy fix, like I now [00:24:00] just collect all the information, assess what we need to do, fix it. You know, 99% of the time when these things arise, they can be solved. And it's rare that something is so insurmountable you can't fix it.

And that goes with bad news at work. Or if one of the kids has bad news. I feel like we're gonna work our way through it, and it might take some time and what's, you know, kind of meant to be. So it's really just left me in a much more relaxed roll with the punches type of person than I used to be. And boy, does that take the stress level down.

Is that good for my health? And do people around me appreciate that, right? Knowing that they can come to me with an issue or a problem and their reaction is gonna be, all right, what do we do about it? How do we solve it? Please go get more information. You know, now I'm talking about work. Right? So that's been really powerful.

Adrienne Youdim: The word that comes to mind as I hear you speak, is really wisdom. It's like being [00:25:00] more wise in your approach to problem solving. And it's funny actually, because that's really what we're trying to do, is to get people to tap into their inner wisdom, because we all have that attuned sense. Uh, that calm part of us that really knows what the next step should be.

And you're describing that perfectly, not only in your relationships, but even in creating, uh, collaborative conversations in your workplace, coming from that place of wisdom. 

Steve Wilt: Yes, absolutely. Then personally, uh, this will resonate with some of your listeners. Uh, and it may not seem that big to others, but I'm a tennis player and a golfer.

I have a pretty low handicap, but I've never been able to really win tournaments. And since becoming alcohol free and since becoming kind of the new version of me, uh, uh, you know, I've won multiple tennis tournaments and golf tournaments, and this has been something I've been trying to do for 30 years.

Wow. But for some reason, well, the alcohol one is easy, right? I [00:26:00] am. I feel great the next day. I'm up early, I'm at the range. I'm not blurry. I'm not on a drink while I'm playing or having swing lube or any of that, those things, right? So I'm being physically the best version, but then mentally through this work, being able to remain calm after a bad shot, being able to have that attitude of positivity, uh, being able to slow my heart rate down when I need to.

And the only thing that's different between when I was not winning and now is that I'm older. I alcohol free, and I have these practices to lean on during these, these times. To me, that is such a clear example, just a different life. And again, I know it's a sport, right? It's not, but, but it just shows up in so many ways as I'm aging, right?

Like I, I do wish I'd done this when I was 40, right? All these things. Uh, and I think the people, and we had some young, younger folks in that. Group we had together. All really high achievers are, yes, I did [00:27:00] learn from them a lot. 

Adrienne Youdim: Yeah. 

Steve Wilt: Uh, but they're gonna be dangerous, right? They're gonna be dangerous.

Getting all this at a young age and being able to use it for all those years when they're in their real prime, it's exciting to be, to see what happens. And we're keeping those relationships going. And a couple of the, the guys from the group are coming to see me in Akron. Here in about a month, and I'm looking forward to meeting him in person and spending time with them and continuing to learn from each other.

Adrienne Youdim: It's beautiful. You're really speaking to, you know, from someone who, a physician who specializes in kind of health and wellness, you're really speaking to the pillars that I talk about, you know, managing the, the reactivity, getting to the underlying hunger. Then having the peace and pause so that we can listen to our, you know, our intuition and to bring that out into the world, into our work and into our relationships.

So I I, that's really beautiful to, to see how [00:28:00] you've incorporated that. There's one thing I wanna just touch on as well, bef, you know, as, as we're coming to the close of this, and that's really the, the emotional regulation piece. 

Steve Wilt: Mm-hmm. 

Adrienne Youdim: Or even if we take a step back, giving ourselves the opportunity to acknowledge our emotions.

We did a lot of work around emotional labeling as well as, uh, self-compassion practices to help us deal with difficult emotions. And I was so impressed to see men of, of the caliber that we had in that virtual room. To your point, all high achieving men, different walks of life. Doing really incredible things, running massive organizations and operations to see how grateful they were to be able to, to be, be given permission to tap into their emotions, [00:29:00] to see the effect of, of labeling or acknowledging their emotions, what that did for them, and then using self-compassion practices.

How did, uh, can you speak to that in terms of your personal experience with all of that? 

Steve Wilt: Yeah, absolutely. Um, you know, when we did the self-compassion practice, I mean, I, I got emotional. I, I was really surprised how giving yourself grace, almost giving yourself a hug, how that felt right and sitting with yourself for a moment.

And I can tell you it feels really good when you are satisfied with who you are. It may not, or at least it didn't use to feel as good when I didn't feel like I was on the right track. But that was also an awakening for me, right? Going through those types of practices and saying, man, I'm just not the person I'm meant to be.

I'm not on the right track. But when you are feeling like you're doing all the right things, [00:30:00] most of the right things, however you wanna describe it, that's a really, I mean, it's self love, right? And, and if. If you're not there, and I know now we're getting into really soft stuff, especially for men, but if you're not there, if you do have imposter syndrome, if you don't like what you see in the mirror, if you know there, whatever it is that's in your way, right?

Um, when you eliminate that and get to the point where you just feel like you're doing your best, like, but, but your your true best, right? You're giving it your all. Then when you go through those compassion practices, it just feels really good. It feels really earnest, and that's a really valuable moment.

Adrienne Youdim: It really is. And, and it is something that we talk about a lot kind of out there. You know, self-care, self-compassion practice is almost become like if sounds sometimes like a pithy term. Mm-hmm. But, um, you're speaking to the practical side of even what the science shows in terms of how when we [00:31:00] do engage in these.

Practices we're so much better able, we're so much more successful at habit change. Even for example, like you suggest, you know, if we absolutely, we go about it from a place of compassion and not, I think what we're taught, uh, women to, you know, high achieving women too, we're kind of taught to go about things in a, in a self-deprecating way or self-flagellating way.

As opposed to a compassionate way, but in the end, that's not really effective in the long term. 

Steve Wilt: Yeah, I, I would totally agree. Um, and I wanna be clear, uh, it's not that I don't have challenges in life or problems or, uh, that I'm living perfectly the way I want to. Um, but know I like anyone, I got a long way to go.

Um, but because I've come so far from where I was and because I have these practices to lean on. Life is just easier. I just feel better about myself in the path. And I, and again, [00:32:00] for me, you know, my true north is how much could I help others? How much can I contribute, um, to my family, to the community, to my friends, and being of sound mind, being physically strong, having that clear vision, that significant moment, uh, allows me to do all those things that I want to do.

Um. And you mentioned relationships, and I, and I failed to mention this, but when you think about your children, mine are 22 and 24. 

Adrienne Youdim: Mm-hmm. 

Steve Wilt: Uh, and what they visualize from you, it's a big deal. Right? Having them see you living your authentic life, being calm. I mean, I wish I had this when they were teenagers because it was different, right?

I wasn't as calm and easygoing and I don't know if I could have handled some of the teenage stuff, but, um. But again, I, I think it's, it's really valuable generationally to [00:33:00] teach them, to show them just by who you are, you know? Um, and they pick up on it, and that means a lot to me. 

Adrienne Youdim: Yeah, that is powerful. I like that you, that you reiterate, and I do this all the time myself, that these are tools and it doesn't obviate us from the human experience no matter how skilled we are or attuned.

Um, the human condition is the human condition. But the point is that we can navigate what's normal, you know, ups and downs, normal variations in life with a lot more finesse, I guess. We have the tools to do so. 

Steve Wilt: Absolutely. Yeah. I mean, about a month ago I got kicked in the teeth three or four times in a short period of time.

I was like, what's going on here? You know, but, but again, it didn't impact me the way it used to. And I knew we'd come out the other side and we did. Right. But when you're in the moment, it's, it's hard to, [00:34:00] to not go to dark places. But, and I feel that's an important point. I, I really don't go to the dark places anymore.

I just assume the best fight through it. And, and it feels better that way. Less stressful. 

Adrienne Youdim: You've given so many pearls of wisdom. I love speaking with you, and it always is, is valuable, calming and enlightening. I wonder if, if you had one message for like-minded peers, you know, high achieving professionals like yourself, executives, leaders.

What might they be missing or what might they need to attune to? What would that message be? 

Steve Wilt: Yeah. I think the message would be, especially if you've not done any of this work or been down this path, is to slow down for a minute to really do assessment of where you are, to be brutally honest with yourself about whether you're [00:35:00] living your authentic life and, and the one that you wanna live.

Then the big one would be to be open to trying some of these new things. To find a way to experience this, you know, with guidance, with the, the program that you have is the perfect way to do that. And I enjoy our thinking as well. Always, Adrian. I always get something from it, but yeah, if you're listening to this and you're thinking, man, maybe that's for me.

You know, a great first step would be to join one of your Brazil nine courses, right? To spend eight weeks. With other successful people for two hours a week, and you'll get so much from it. Um, you know, if they're not ready to do that, then listen to your podcast, listen to other podcasts, uh, pick up some Ryan Holiday books.

There's all kinds of things out there to get started in this space. But the first step is to kinda really, honestly acknowledge where you are, to find a group or a person or a path. [00:36:00] Really start to dig in and explore these items, and I guarantee anyone who's listening, they will be glad they did. They will benefit in it from some way, and others around them will notice it and appreciate it too.

Adrienne Youdim: Yeah, perfect advice. Really just meet yourself where you are at and know that there are so many resources out there in so many different forms and formats that can help. 

Steve Wilt: Absolutely. 

Adrienne Youdim: Yeah. Well, Steve, I really enjoyed having you and catching up. I look forward to more conversations with you and to all of our listeners, thank you for being here on Health Bike.

Steve Wilt: Thank you, Adrian. It's been a pleasure. 

Adrienne Youdim: If you're interested in doing this work deeply, the next Resilient Minds cohort starts September 30th. This is an experiential program where an intimate group of dedicated professionals meet with me live and online for 16 hours. Over the course [00:37:00] of eight weeks, I created resilient minds to offer high achieving professionals like QA structured science-based and deeply supportive space to move from reactivity and burnout towards clarity, purpose, and sustainable wellbeing.

Over eight weeks, we will work together to build the capacity, not just to manage stress, but to live and lead with intention. You can learn more about the program by going to www.dradrianudine.com/resilient Minds, and you can also find the link tagged here in the show notes.