Spill The Tea! Hot Button Questions (and we really want answers)

 Have you ever found yourself working a Wedding and the same question or confusion arises again and again?   Even though we are wedding professionals with several years of experience, we still have questions! 

We’re here to address those pesky questions once and for all.  Casi and Hillary bring their real questions to each other to see if they can get some answers.

Do you have questions too?  We’ll be doing frequent installments of Spilling the Tea episodes, so DM us on Instagram with YOUR burning questions so we can address them next time!

Follow us on Instagram for so much more!
@weddingsaltpodcast / @casiyostphoto / @kayloebridal

Transcript

Speaker 3: 0:00

Hey, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Wedding Salt. It's Cassie and Hillary here, and we are doing kind of like a fun episode. We're not really sure what we kind of want to call these yet. It's more like spill the tea, where we're just like, we're rapid fire. Like, hey, these are things that have come up that we want to talk about that are hot topic. Conversations that are being had in the wedding industry or hot button or taboo or whatever. Things that we're thinking that we don't know if people are answering this or talking about it or people want to have answers to it. So, that's what this is all about. Hey, Hillary. Hey

Speaker 4: 0:41

Cassie, I'm excited to dish it out with you. I was just going to say the only thing that I would add to what you said is like the way I'm thinking about it is even though we're wedding professionals, I still have a lot of questions. And so I think it's like questions that we genuinely are asking ourselves, but we've never said it out loud. So we're just gonna, you know. Ask the quest the real questions,

Speaker 3: 1:09

right? Yeah, and it doesn't I I think people have these questions, but They may not want to say them out loud or they just kind of figure them out on site because they don't want to feel like oh Is am I dumb for like thinking this or did I not prepare well enough because sometimes I do think that i'm like well, I I shouldn't ask a planner this because I should be expected to know it, but in reality, it's like No, you shouldn't be expected to know it.

Speaker 4: 1:38

That's a good way to put it. It's like things in the moment, time and time again, you're like, why is this still happening? Or what could I have done better? I know you and I often do that, like debrief events after like, okay, what went really well? What could have done better? But there are certain things that time and time again, I still find myself wondering even with different photographers or different venues. Um, so we're going to, it's a safe place. We're going to ask the question.

Speaker 3: 2:06

It's a safe place. Yeah, I, I, because we've all been there, but, so to starting off my first question to you, like coming from a photographer to a planner is, you know, like, do you want photos to, like, go and be To submissions or do you, do we even plan for that? Because, when I'm looking at like timelines and this is not with you and you know, you're always really good about this, but if I'm not working with you, I usually send an email to the planner. Like, Hey, do you mind letting me know when? You think the reception space is going to be finished, so that I can send my second shooter to go take photos of the reception space while I'm doing family photos or whatever? Um, like, obviously they want photos of the reception space and tablescapes. But don't even put that into the timeline to let us know when it's going to be done. Like, I have to ask that question. And there've been planners where like you will put that into the timeline. And I'm like, thank you. I don't have to ask for that. Or, you know, it's like, I guess my biggest question is, are you thinking about it from the perspective of how can I support the photographer to get the photos that I really want? Because, We can't always expect the other vendor to know what we're hoping to achieve. Totally.

Speaker 4: 3:44

I love that question. like you said, I really do build my timelines to have empty, I call them like empty space photos. Um, because I feel like those are photos that get a lot of traction on Pinterest. Like when I have clients who have inspiration, they're usually showing me a lot of photos of like empty spaces. And so, because my brain, does think very tactically, and then paired with a lot of trial and error from the early days where I was just doing day of coordination before I was fully planning. So you like learn by experience and you learn by trial and error. Similar to this tablescape design, we want tangent all the way there. But like, I really work with clients on what those photos are actually going to look like for a tablescape. So to your point, Cassie, if we're wanting a certain kind of photos, like, you actually have to plan for it. They don't just happen. Like, I've had events that are going to be a buffet. Ugh. But not anymore. I don't allow buffets anymore. Um, no, there's a time and a place for a buffet. I understand. Um, but a lot of time with buffets, catering is going to want to have the plates at the table, like the actual buffet table. And there's not plates on Table, so it's not, and there's not a charger and three glasses and three forks, like all of the really styled Pinterest photos that you see. Um, so I spend a lot of time giving my clients realistic expectations. So I love this question. Back to your question. Are we trying to like, Get photos to publish things. Um, I guess I would just say, yeah, like it needs to be planned for from the beginning. And if planners are listening who don't already do this, like you have to plan it into the timeline and you have to craft the whole flow of the event around getting empty space photos before guests flood the space. And I mean, it's even little stuff like dessert table. Like if a dessert table comes the way I craft timelines, um, my pet peeve is having dessert out, like before dinner is even served. I don't like people breathing on it or looking at it or touching it. So usually my timelines, um, it's like, okay, once the cake is cut, then like the dessert comes out during first dances or special dances, you know, that's just. a general. Um, but I always have the photographer like, or the second shooter right by my side to be like, Hey, the cupcake display is coming out. Grab your two photos real quick before the guests warm it. And I think that's the stuff that people don't realize. Like you're not going to get a clean shot of everything unless you obsess it into the timeline.

Speaker 3: 6:45

Yeah. And that, that was, that was one other thing. I think I've said this on another episode. Was like, I, I wish planners would also consider where they're putting things. Like sometimes you can't put the cake table in the corner where there's two large garbage cans for catering. Yes. Like, yeah, we can edit that out, but I mean, you know, you have to consider these things. And I know that like, Yes, as a photographer, it's my job to be able to take photos in any lighting situation, what have you. But, there are some things that editing cannot fix. Lighting being one of them. Unless you're okay with going with flash. Um, but a lot of the time for like high end publications, you can't just have everything with flash. So, those are the things that, um, that I, I want planners to think about. And of course, depending on the budget of the wedding, if it's a lower budget wedding, it's like, yeah, you're, you're dealing with limited staff. The venue probably doesn't have the best spaces for those photos and you don't have enough people to flip or consider that. But if you can, there are ways like as a photographer, I can make. A lower budget wedding look like a high budget wedding with how I photograph. So if there's a little bit more thought in planning ahead of time, we can really elevate these photos. And you know, like some tricks, like I always check in with the planner, um, and the florist about the tablescapes. And I asked them what. Which part of the table they really love and if it's okay if I pull the floral arrangements closer to the, um, The like plates and chargers and everything to make it look more lush and luxurious. Um, so there's little things that you can do to photograph it to make it look better. Look better. Um, or more, more high end. Um, so I guess what I'm saying is having that collaboration and having that mindset of, um, you know, if you want great photos, we've got to work on this together and understand what What we each need, including shooting and venues like in Portland, the venues are so dark unless they have lots of windows. And so, you know, I can bring all of my lighting equipment in there, but if you want a big wide shot of the entire venue space, And it's in a dark room. It's not going to look as good as if you were to convince the couple that, hey, we need to hire a lighting company to come in and like really have very specific spotlights to hit all the tables. Then it will really, really elevate it. And that extra additional, however much it costs will Elevate the experience of your clients and their guests, but also the photos will go from looking like it was a 10, 000 wedding to 100, 000 wedding. It's just little things like that.

Speaker 4: 10:09

Yeah. Well, and back to what you were saying about like repositioning centerpieces, like almost staging the tablescape or the detail photos. Um, that's, Back to kind of the example I was talking about, like, if it's a buffet and we're not even planning practically to put the table or the plates on the table, I have had events where I stage, like, an 8 top that's going to be fully styled and a lot of times with glasses, um, Like, people really love that look because it looks elevated, because if you did an intentional design, like, you like the mix of glasses and the white wine and the coupe, like, people really like that picture of it all together. But generally, like, your wine glasses live at the bar. The coupe, Like doesn't get passed until it's champagne time. A lot of times it's only the water glass that's actually set on the table. So I talk through that with my clients ahead of time on like what photos are important to them and then it depends on the event and what is workable in the timeline. But I have Like fully set, like an eight top and the photographer knows ahead of time that during like they're going to get the broader, like empty space photos, but then I'm going to have for details a more fully set tabletop. Um, I think it all goes back to working with a full planner because you have to plan this stuff from the beginning. It's not something that can be fudged day of and. So, from a photographer point of view, if you have these questions, I would initiate it with the planner, the day of coordinator, or the couple, at least a month ahead of time, where it's like, okay, what types of photos are we looking for, and then if you do have a good planner on board, Like we're saying, like, I plan the basics of, you know, like empty ceremony space, empty reception space, time for detail shots. I like plan all of that into the timeline.

Speaker 3: 12:18

Um,

Speaker 4: 12:20

but yeah, that's a great question.

Speaker 3: 12:22

Yeah. I've had, I've had a couple of planners, uh, like I have a wedding upcoming, not this coming weekend, but next weekend in California or duh, in California. But, um, Down near, um, San Francisco and I don't even know why you need to know that. I just Yeah, anyway Y'all yeah, I don't know why you needed to know that. Um, anyway, I'm I'm gonna shoot a wedding That's the point and the planner was like, hey, we have a couple of different Um, orientations of how we want to set up the tablescape for photos That's going to be near you by the vendor table Do you mind taking photos of those as well? and They already reached out to me and let me know that they were gonna Do a couple of mock ups that are fully done so that I can plan to have time there. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was like, that's fantastic. Thank you. Um, because they're, they're like, yeah, we want the photos. So anyway, that was just why I thought of that question because I'm like, yeah, if you want those photos, I can't just. magically make a full tablescape for you after guests have come in or there's nothing on there because you're doing buffet. Like we need to have these conversations. Yes.

Speaker 4: 13:54

They don't just magically happen. And I think clients sometimes do think like if they love certain photos they've seen on their photographer's Instagram or website, they just assume they're going to get photos like that. But. They might not, depending on the details and specifics and the flow. Um, I love that example that you just gave, and I think that's what it goes to, is the planner and the photographer working together ahead of time. Um, just last weekend when I was in Sun River, I was working with Allison Harp, who I've worked with before, so like I had her cell phone number, and you know, we've, We've collaborated before and the couple had this really cute escort table that was really important to them. They put all this time and effort into collecting different items to make like a little farmer's market, like a customized farmer's market. And their guests would take an item and they like would find their name card that led them to their table. So it was a key important element to the couple. And on the floor plan, We had it in a space that made sense for, like the layout that the venue had decided. But in real time, when I got there and I was about to set up all of these different elements. So, the, this table, escort table, that was gonna be the farmer's market that was really important to the couple. When I was actually there in real time, because I've done so many events now, and I've leveled up my thinking about end in sight for galleries, the table, all it had was venue windows behind it, and it was really shaded, and I looked around and I was like, you know what? I think that space over there near the bar where there's a perfect little cut out and people will interact like logistically, it still worked, but it was all like natural, you know, woods behind it. And so really quick, I took a quick like iPhone shot of both locations and sent it to Alison to get her take on it. And the, Part that had windows all behind it was also in the shade. So the stuff like I know enough to notice these things and think about the photo, but then I share it with the photographer because she was like, actually at the time of day, that part, that original location is actually going to get blasted with sunlight. So, it was just good. We ended up pivoting, but I asked that before I set up the whole table and then it couldn't be moved. Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 16:30

No, that's really good. Cause the, yeah, those are the things that make a huge difference that people wouldn't know unless they were a photographer, because when you shoot something in harsh light, it won't look as good as if it was in shade or cloud cover or what have you. And those are things that you won't know until you, you know, you have a photographer consult with you.

Speaker 4: 16:55

Yeah, so think about it from the beginning. Okay, here's a question I have for you, photographers. Cassie, what is the deal with sneak peeks? And what I mean by this is I get clients who, you know, I've referred a photographer and I get clients, you know, a week after the wedding, who's like, do you know when we're going to see our sneak peeks? So let's talk about it. I feel like there you, I used to have an expectation and now I have no idea. It feels like the wild, wild west with photographers. I have no idea when I'm going to hear from them or see anything again. It's What's your take?

Speaker 3: 17:35

Yeah, I mean, the weird part about being a photographer is that there's no rule book. I think a lot of photographers, when they start off the bat, they're like, okay, what, what is expected? What do other people do? And we do, we just kind of go off of like, Oh, well, everybody else is doing this. So I'm going to do it too. When in reality, you should probably, you know, once you become more established, you Do what feels right to your creative process and working with other vendors. Like that's, that's. My perspective. So there is no like general consensus that us photographers are sharing like this is how we do things. Um, I think in general, people do share sneak peeks within 24 hours to 24 to 48 hours. That was like the norm for me. And it still is. But sometimes when I'm traveling, I'm like, Hey, I'm not going to be able to get sneak peeks to you within 48 hours because I am, you know, going from one country to the next or going, you know, whatever. So I would say the answer is to be a professional, you should over communicate, communicate ahead of time when they can expect to see sneak peeks if you offer them. What I typically do when I consult with my clients is I'm like, Oh yeah. And you know, I do deliver sneak peeks within 48 hours. And so they know to expect that. Of course, the vendors don't know what my, my procedures are, but my personal My preference is to have some kind of debrief email where I send the sneak peeks and I hit reply all to the email that the planner sent that included all of the vendors. So I'll say, Hey everybody, it was so great to work with you. here is the link to the gallery that has the sneak peeks., in 90 days or 60 days or whenever you guarantee the photos to be done by, you can say something like, hey, in 60 days, check back on this same link. It will have the final gallery here. Save the link, so you don't lose the photos. And, if you have any questions, let me know. And then I put the list of the, the, the, Vendor tags there for them. So it's easy for them to tag everybody. but that is my procedure. That's my process because I personally believe that if I can get photos to vendors and they can post my photos on their social media in their network, then that gets my name out there more. And I know some. Some photographers do this thing where they like make vendors pay for the photos, which that must be like an old school thing. I don't know why anybody would want to give up free marketing. Yeah. That's just me. You know, look, cause I have a lot of vendors who recommend me. I have florists, I have makeup artists who've recommended me to their couples and I've gotten work that way. So why would I kill the hand that feeds me or bite the hand that feeds me? You know, like that doesn't make sense. Yeah. Um, Unless you're like super money hungry. That's that's the only reason why I would think someone would do that to be honest. Yeah And I get it. You should be paid for your work but also like you can't kill the cash cow you gotta like realize that these people are posting to their social media and people who want Them to do their wedding. We'll see your photos. So anyway, I'm gonna go on a rant

Speaker 4: 21:16

I love I love all your rants, of course Of course you have like a really dialed professional process and I Totally agree that that sounds like the best case scenario If as a planner, I, it's like three weeks from a wedding and I haven't heard or seen anything. And then like my client posts a few sneak peeks on their Instagram. What, what should I do? Cause I never, and I'm sure other vendors feel this way, especially like photographers and planners. Um, usually planners are more in the know and if anyone gets the gallery of the vendor team, usually it's the planner. Um, but sometimes that doesn't even happen and I know other vendors are wondering this just about etiquette on like, Hey, we want to see photos, but we don't want to be annoying. So yeah Yeah, should they just reach out to the photographer? Yes, if there's been no clarity on if sneak peeks are even a thing or when they're going to be shared Should they just reach out and say like, hey, can I have the link?

Speaker 3: 22:26

Yeah, I would totally do that because there have been times where, you know, like, um, we've worked with Amy, with Briar and Ivy, and there have been times where like, I've done a wedding with her. And for some reason, her email wasn't on the list with all the other vendors. And I've sent out the email, like, Hey, here's the gallery. And I didn't see that she wasn't on the list. And she DM me and she's like, Hey, I saw that the photos are getting posted. Do you mind sending me the link? I'm so sorry. And I'm like, Oh my God, I'm so sorry that I didn't send that to you. I think what happens is sometimes, you know, like planners have a lot to do. I don't expect you to send the link to all of the vendors. I do that. Um, but it would be nice if the planner has it that they can send the link out. Um, again, I don't expect you to do that, but, um, I. I'm totally fine with people messaging me and saying, Hey, do you mind sending me the gallery? Um, of course. Yes. I want you to have the photos. Yeah. So I would say, yes, please reach out if a photographer is like, Oh no, you can't use the, the photos or. Um, the photos you have to pay to access them, then that really sucks. And I, I would be very professional to that photographer, but in the back of my mind, I'd say, great, I'm never recommending you, um, because you're obviously not a team player. And, uh, so I would say, yes, reach out to the photographer. If I didn't send it to the planner, it was probably because I had a brain fart and totally forgot and I was excited and sent it to the couple and then just forgot to send it to the planner. But I typically always hit reply all. To the planner's message when they send the timeline out to me and the other vendors Because they usually include all the other vendors email um, and it makes it super easy for me to send it out to The vendors so if you're a planner listening to this If you don't send an email with all of the vendors included on the email Um, but you have all of the emails in like a pdf. Um, I'm probably not going to look through the pdf for their emails. Just send an email with everybody's email addresses on it. And if I hit reply all, that's so easy to get the the link to everybody.

Speaker 4: 25:01

Yeah, that's actually a really good note, because I, at the end of my timelines, have all the vendors credited and tagged so that everyone can find each other, but I actually do a ton of one off emails, and so I'm gonna add that. Like, styled shoots, I always communicate to all the vendors all at once, or like, special projects, but I'm gonna do what you just said. I just leveled up my process because that would save me time. Like the week of the wedding, I'll be like, Hey everyone, here's the final, final timeline. Because I like to talk to vendors separately when we're like obsessing the photo timeline or talking about catering or whatever. Um, but I'll do like the final timeline. So everyone has the final version, like the Monday before the wedding. And then everyone has each other's emails. Brilliant. That's why we talk.

Speaker 3: 25:49

It makes it so easy. I mean, these are just little things, right? That, that are part of our processes that we don't think of, but then it's like, Oh, if someone just did this, it would make it so easy for me to do my job, to get stuff to everybody else. And then they would have what they need. So I really appreciate it when a planner does do that. Um, so that I can just be like, Oh, let me find the last email that they sent and hit reply all. And now everybody has a gallery.

Speaker 4: 26:19

Yep, I love it. Yeah, this is fun. Okay. What's your next build a tee question?

Speaker 3: 26:26

Okay, so Do you think that? Let's see the The time for getting ready photos that was kind of like a question that you had for me But I also have for you with Like the getting ready photos. I always tell planners, can I have, I want to have at least an hour. And if they have like, um, stationary and other details that they want me to photograph and like all these menus and all these other things, um, that I can't photograph the day before or what have you. Um, I really need to know that and if there's unique elements to the wedding like, oh, the couple had this newspaper made for the, the wedding or the couple had, um, these fans made with their favorite songs or they had all these napkins with, oh, like the wedding that we just did. In Palm Springs, the couple had all of these random facts about their guests on different napkins and I was able to photograph those. Those are, those are things that like, would be so helpful to know ahead of time. Uh, cause I may not know that the couple may forget to tell me even though I asked them about the details, but typically the planner knows. So that. It does impact the like getting ready time photos for me because I think it's different for every photographer because some photographers just show up like five minutes before the person gets their dress on. And I feel like I always show up two hours before they get their dress on because I have to like ask the planner, do they have any of this stuff? And, um, and then I have to like take time to style it and photograph it. Totally. So,

Speaker 4: 28:28

yeah. And I think that was kind of the question, like you said, But from both sides, and again it goes back to what we talked about on two questions ago, like it really takes intentionality and communication and so much, I'm like a broken record the last two years, but I'm all the time like, this is why I only take full design and plan clients now, because a planner can only do so much if they're not involved from the beginning. So time and time again, I'm finding out what the final decor is. Like back when I did just day of coordination, I'm finding out what the final decor is like when I arrive. And so I don't, not everything does get to get photographed because no one knew about it until like the day of. So clients need to communicate those things to their coordinator if they don't have a full planner. Of course, if there's a full planner, they will know everything that's involved. Um, but yeah, from a planner to a photographer point of view, I think that's what I generally assume is that like an hour before we're putting on the dress and kind of transitioning to first look is. sufficient time, but I just wanted to validate that because I've heard photographers give the feedback of like, yeah, I was just standing around. I had nothing to shoot. So maybe it depends on the details and maybe it depends on, you know, If the getting ready space is shootable and we won't tangent now, but everyone get excited. Cause we are going to have a whole getting ready episode with a beauty industry professional soon. Um, where, because I know there's a big dynamic there on like, of course, if hair and makeup is still going on, there's only so much for a photographer to do. Um, but yeah, you think an hour is like enough time.

Speaker 3: 30:24

Yeah, I mean, it depends on how many details I, I'm having to photograph or am surprised with, um, if there's a lot of details and you're doing a full, like a full planning, like full wedding planning, um, then I would love to do it the day before, before the welcome party, you know, and have a couple hours to just play and bring, Backdrops and props and all of these things depending on the mood board, but and that reminds me If planners could send the mood board And what the design will look like in terms of the stationery that will really help me prep for like the kind of props the the colors of the backdrops that I'll bring to do flat lays on. Um, and so I usually ask planners like, Hey, do you have a mood board for this? Is there, are there specific colors? Um, so I can plan ahead and bring that to make it cohesive. Cause in my mind, I'm thinking, Oh, this is going to be really great design. If we want to publish this, I need to think about this like an editor would and make the color story more The same throughout the day, because when they lay it out in the magazine, they want, they want it to be consistent. So that's the information that I need from the planner, um, so I can be prepped. But if there's a lot of random stuff, I probably need an extra hour. For the flatlay stuff and then, um, and then yeah, for doing like the documentary style, getting ready, like candid moments before she gets into her dress. And then my second shooter's covering the other partner. Um, so anyway, those, those are the things that I have to consider. And I would probably, I'm gonna, Ruffle some feathers here. If a photographer is standing around saying, Oh, I don't have anything to shoot. It's like, then take it as a creative challenge, you know, like there's always something to shoot. What, like, can you call mom, mom and dad out to like have them stand and take photos or, Like find unique ways to photograph the venue in ways that haven't been photographed before. Like that's our job is to be creative. And if you're standing around and you're like, there's nothing to photograph. I would say, why don't you turn that on its head and take it as a creative challenge to photograph things that are normally boring. I guess that's what you're thinking in a new way.

Speaker 4: 33:03

Yeah, or snap see it as an opportunity like snap some photos of the hair and makeup artists doing their thing That's more like with the artist as the focal point so that you can like send it to them later and like you're back to Your free marketing thing, right? Yeah, I really like that and I don't want to like pooh pooh That but I do I do hear that on event days That kind of feedback of like, well, there's nothing to shoot or I can only shoot this so many times and it's not like the best thing to hear, you know, but I just kind of default to like, well, they're the expert on photography. So there must not be anything to shoot. Um, yeah, that's, that's, I love

Speaker 3: 33:45

that.

Speaker 4: 33:45

I love that viewpoint.

Speaker 3: 33:47

Um, there is one last question, though, because we're almost to the end of the time. And this one is a question for you, and I'm sure you, you and I have talked about this before. Let's hear it. Certain vendors have been real sassy with you. And I've, I've also, I've also, when I'm at weddings, I always overhear certain vendors, Being sassy about not getting fed when they want to be fed. And they don't understand that catering is behind because someone else put them behind or what have you and they're upset at the planner because they're not being fed right then and there. And they don't realize no one's being fed, not even the guests. Yeah. Because there's something else that needs to be done. Oh my gosh, I'm literally, I'm literally

Speaker 4: 34:42

getting butterflies in my tummy. Because it's all, you're asking about vendor meals. Okay. I can break this down. Thank you for asking. I can break this down. Super super. Cause in the moment I keep it professional. I'm like managing and making sure that things are running. Um, but Oh yes. The stories I have to tell from poor catering, but also from just like classless unprofessional vendors as well. So here's the deal with vendor meals in general, if it goes well, um, Um, what should happen is that ahead of time, the planner tells you where you can expect your vendor meal, and you will be served at the same time that the guests are served. If it's a buffet, you're going through the buffet vendors. Every once in a while, there's a caterer who is very vendor focused and they'll be like, oh yeah, we'll have their plated meals like behind the scenes, but if there's a buffet, you hop in the buffet and you go through the line like with the guests, um, and you manage your own time. But if it's a plated situation, I have learned again through years of experience, I talk to, you know, I have to confirm. The client needs to confirm their final guest count to catering like a month out and I confirm a guest count or uh, sorry, the vendor count a month out as well. So quick sidebar note, I've learned to clarify to photographers, to videographers, to DJs, to any vendor I can think of is like, is, are you just coming alone or are you bringing a second? Cause I can't count how many times, like there's literally a number of vendor meals. So I can't count how many times I ask a photographer and they're like, Oh, no second shooter. And I slot in one vendor meal. And then they decided to bring an assistant and they're like demanding food. And it's like, look, I've given up my meal so many times. So first and foremost, Be professional and don't complain about the food. The client paid for you to have it. It didn't come from imaginary land. They literally paid, usually 50 to 60 bucks, for your meal. So, eat it with a smile. And also, like, it obviously is really, I've never chewed anyone out. I stay nice, I stay kind, but it's really hard for me to listen to a DJ who's complaining about how they're on, like, a social media. specific diet where they need to eat by 8pm, and they're not being fed yet, when like, I've not ate for 12 hours and I gave up my meal to someone else. Like, I can't count how many times. So vendors, if you are a vendor, it's your job to take care of yourself. Yes, it's in your contract that your client needs to feed you, that should happen, but you also snackies, just in case. Like, we all have been there, The best run events. Things happen. Um, okay. Oh, wow. Yeah, I'm getting passionate. Hilary,

Speaker 3: 37:51

mom, mom Hilary is coming out. Bring your baggie of snackies. Bring a baggie of snackies. It's true.

Speaker 4: 37:57

And I'm talking to myself because I get like low calories and low energy and I take it on myself, like, I'm usually the last one to eat because I am taking care of my clients first, the guests second, and the vendors, like, I'm taking care of you too. So back to, if it goes well, the planner will let you know where to expect your food and it will get served. A good caterer Will be happy to bring out if there's a salad course They'll usually bring your salads and then they'll be happy to bring out your mains with the first set of mains But a lot of times even with pushback and even with suggestions The caterer is still going to insist on serving the vendors after all the guests have been served and that's honestly a little pain point I have as well because I understand photographers and videographers and DJs especially. Like, you need to be eating when the first guests are eating because I start toast, like, towards the end of dinner. So, like, again, and if you're a planner and you haven't learned this, like, I've heard horror stories of planners who, like, make the vendors, like, Even in a buffet situation, they make them wait until the very, very end. That's just someone who doesn't have experience. They don't know that this is like the only break and the only time to scarf food before they're back on their feet. Um. So yeah, I'll step off my soapbox. I am passionate on this on both sides. I think vendors, you need to be a lot more gracious and a lot more professional. And if it wasn't your favorite food, guess what? That's fine. That's why you should bring snacks. And if you have dietary concerns, hopefully that was taken in account for. But like, this is not your wedding. It's not your fine dining experience. It's not your taste. It's literally a meal. You're welcome. Bring some backups if you're picky. Um, and then I'm also passionate about it on the other side. Like I do get why this is your time to eat and you need to be fed at that time. So I work with catering ahead of time, but sometimes You know catering there's all different levels of experience as well. So good caterers The best i've seen it go is my vendors eat at the same time as the bride and groom like honored guests and everyone is happy

Speaker 3: 40:23

Yeah, yeah. No, it's true. And I agree. I agree with everything you've said it it truly um Like, you do need to make sure that you're taking care of yourself because, and have grace about it, because anybody who's done even a few weddings knows that sometimes things go wrong and things get delayed. So if you are like a bodybuilder on the side and you have to eat every three hours and you're like, okay, well, dinner's at six and I ate at three, so they need to feed me at six. It's like, well, if something happens and the guests aren't eating at six, then just because you're a bodybuilder on the side, doesn't mean we're feeding you at six. Like this is someone's wedding. You need to have grace and be professional and understand that like you're a grown up. And if you're hungry, then you should have planned to bring some power bars with you and a bottle of water. And like, if things happen, like if we're having a really crazy wedding day and the guests are like really chatty at dinner and it's just beautiful, I'll slate it so that my second shooter eats first while I'm roaming around. And then when she comes back, I sit down and eat so she can roam around. And. And just make sure that there's always eyes coverage. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Because I, I'm so afraid of missing a moment that I just don't want to, but, but if it's like a super low key wedding and I'm like, the guests are just kind of staring at each other, you know, then yeah, I'll sit, we'll both sit down. Um, but yeah, it's, it's just, you have to be. Be emotionally intelligent and aware and professional and don't complain. Maybe nobody's eating because something happened and you shouldn't be harping the wedding planner about it. Um, and getting sassy with that. And I feel like it is, it is a level of sassiness, um, that just doesn't need to happen because we're all adults. And, and I, you know, I've had those situations where. It's a new like venue coordinator or planner and she's like, Oh yeah, you're eating, um, at the end. And I'm like, Oh, is that the same time as the toast? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, you know, I had grace with her and I was like, Hey, do you mind, like, is it okay to ask the catering team to box up the dinner for me? Because I'll be shooting, um, the toast at that time. And she's like, Oh, and it like, clicks in her head, like you can't be eating and doing toast at the same time. She's like, oh, wait, I'll, I'll just ask them to feed you now. And I'm like, okay, great. Thank you. Yeah, but you did it nicely. Exactly. Yeah. Right. I'm not going to be like, well. I have to shoot this right now, you know, like I'm on, have some grace for people. Like I remember my first weddings too, and I didn't know what I didn't know. So like, just have the benefit of the doubt for why you're not getting fed when you want to get fed. Totally. Amen. Amen. I'm going to get off my soapbox. people just need to be professional and be kind and work hard. And that solves like 99 percent of the problems. And hire a full wedding planner. Exactly. I, I cannot, I like every client I talked to. I'm like, that's the person you need to hire a full like wedding planner. They're the most important vendor to hire. I can't do my job well without them. Like, hands down, if you don't have a wedding planner, I can't do your wedding.

Speaker 4: 44:14

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 44:14

Totally.

Speaker 4: 44:17

It just really makes all the difference. And in this very visual world we live in with photos and sharing photos and styled shoots, like, and trends always changing like weddings. Client's expectations of their wedding, specifically with photography, is on a whole nother level now. And to make those things happen, you need to be working with a planner. You just have to. So, it's not everyone's priority and um, you know, different budgets and different budgets. Right? Right. different vibes. It's not saying you have to do that. There's always exceptions. Um, but yeah, full wedding planner unlocks the world to clients getting what they wanted at the right cost with full transparency, as well as vendors having a really good experience.

Speaker 3: 45:15

Yeah.

Speaker 4: 45:16

Yeah. You summed it up so well. Thank you. Well, thanks for chatting, Cassie, and yeah, next time we're going to do one of these episodes, we'll open up the questions to everyone so that they can ask their, like, questions from different vendor point of views that they've always been wondering so that we can answer them.

Speaker 3: 45:37

Oh, yes. Oh, yeah. I love that. That's going to be fun. Okay. Well, thank you guys. Thanks for listening.

45:44

Thanks for joining.