The Body Knows Before We Do with Elsa Valentine

What if your body has been trying to tell you the truth long before your mind was ready to hear it?

Today's guest is Elsa Valentine founder of a neuroscience-based self-reflection app that uses video to create a dialogue between your past, present, and future self. Her path to building this technology began not in a boardroom but in breakdown twice. Once as a teenager when her nervous system said enough, and again while building a startup, ticking every wellness box on the outside while quietly collapsing on the inside.

Elsa grew up with a mother who had bipolar disorder. She learned early to become invisible formless, accommodating, just not existing. What followed was a decades-long journey through somatic practice, breathwork, neuroscience-based mindfulness, and the hard work of learning to feel for a woman who once genuinely believed she had no feelings at all.

In this conversation we explore what it means to stop running from what you feel and start listening. We talk about the neuroscience of emotion, the paradox of grief and freedom, and why self-compassion is not weakness it is the foundation everything else is built on.

And Elsa shares a story that stopped me in my tracks the horse that arrived in her life on the very day her mother passed away.

This one will stay with you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Hi, and welcome to another episode of the Resilience Movement. I'm your host, Donna Molds, and we have another exciting guest today. And you know, let's call this the body that knows before we do. And my guest today is a founder, a healer, and someone who has learned, and often the hard way, that the body will always tell us the truth before the mind is ready to hear it. So this is not a conversation about illness or loss, it's a conversation about what becomes possible when we finally stop running from what we feel and we start to listen. So Elsa Valentine is the founder of Neuroscience-based self-reflection app that uses video to create a dialogue between your past, present, and future self, grounded in emotion and built for transformation. Elsa's path to building this technology was not a straight line. It began with her body shutting down, not once but twice. First as a teenager when her nervous system simply said enough. And then again when she was building a nutrition startup, ticking every wellness box on the outside while quietly collapsing on the inside. And what followed was a deep and winding journey through food, somatic practices, breath work, neuroscience-based mindfulness, and the hard work of learning to feel. And for a woman who once genuinely believed that she had no feelings at all, uh, Elsa grew up with a mother who had a bipolar disorder and a force to consuming uh Elsa, learning to become like water, formless, accommodating, and invisible. The process of finding herself has taken decades. And it's from that place, not from theory, but from lived experience, that she now builds tools to help others do the same. Elsa lives in Port in Portuguese country with her partner. Uh, three dogs, four horses, uh, one of whom arrived in her life on the very day that her mother passed away. So I'm so glad to have you here, Elsa. Welcome.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

Thank you. Wow, what an intro. Thank you for having me, Donna.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

My pleasure. And I always um smile when anyone talks about Portugal or Spain. I'm very much aligned to Spain and just think it's a sensational country. And um, when did you move to Portugal?

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Um, so I've been here for four years, but I didn't specifically move here. Um, I actually came here for Web Summit in Lisbon to start with, and then um I booked flights for a week. Um, and it was just after COVID, and I felt like I wanted to explore a bit more, so I booked a ticket to come down the coast, and one of my friends' employees was living in a co-living, co-working place for uh digital entrepreneurs. Right. And I thought um, I thought that sounded fascinating. I'd never heard of that before. So I booked to stay there for a week and I stayed for six months, and then they were turning back into a hotel for the summer. So then I um booked an Airbnb, and then um I met my partner, and well, I'd already were already good friends. Um, but he asked me if I wanted to move in with him to help with his dog um as friends. So yeah, and then it unfolded, then we um our friendship evolved into a beautiful relationship, and now um, yeah, and then it became apparent that I was staying. Um I guess the absolute um commitment, well, the commitments have grown, but now yeah, we have three dogs and four horses, so um, I can confidently say this is my home.

SPEAKER_00 4:54

Oh fantastic. That's a lovely story and how that kind of naturally evolved. So uh in my podcast today, Elsa, I have some questions for you that I'd love to ask you, and and if it kind of diverts into any other direction, um, you know, let's see where it takes us. So um you described your body as shutting down, not once, but twice, once as a teenager and then one once as a startup founder. And most people would chalk that up to stress and then you know, put you push through. Um, but you went the other way. What made you decide to listen instead?

SPEAKER_01 5:40

So the second time, um, I honestly didn't feel like I had a choice. Um, so the first time as a teenager, I I didn't really know what was happening. Um, it was confusing. Um, I didn't have any understanding or tools to, you know, see what was happening. But the second time, um, it was undeniable. Um, because as you said, I perceived I was doing everything right. Um, I was meditating every morning, I was eating very healthily, I was exercising, spending time with friends, following my purpose. Um, and yet I was completely depleted. Um so what started to change was um I stopped seeing it as something to fight, and I started realizing that I needed to see it as a communication, um, because I realized it was a pattern now. Um yeah, and I knew if I just ignored it, then I would be recreating it. And I knew by now that when you ignore something, um it will come back louder. And so yeah, in that moment I was ready to just ask, um, you know, what is this showing me rather than how do I fix this? And yeah, not to avoid it anymore.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

That is really interesting, isn't it? Because um I I have said for a very long time, when I don't listen to my body, um, it will make me listen, basically. Uh I can ignore it for only so long. And yeah, so that's um yeah, that's really um interesting. And when you say listening to your body, what what did that look like? So for our listeners, what would you say that looks like when you intentionally listen?

SPEAKER_01 7:42

So for me, um directing my attention inwards, so noticing uh sensations, um asking yourself questions like what is the most intense sensation that I feel right now, what is the subtlest, bringing your attention to it, seeing how it moves, like it can be like there's a time when you know you're exhausted and you reach for a coffee, um, or when you're feeling really drained and your friend asks you to go out and you decide to, you know, what are those little moments inside you that where your body's like, oh, I don't want that. So for me it was just um learning to get out of my head and into my body and like actually listen because I guess those signals were there all along, but they became um numbed. Um because when you don't listen, um after a while, I guess you know they just fade into the background. But then when you start listening, um the relationship starts to grow, and then your body's like, oh, well, I think of the body as the subconscious to some extent, and so then you're building this relationship with yourself, and the more you listen, the kind of stronger and clearer the messages get.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Yeah, and um interesting. I feel like some of what you're talking about is your intuition, like when you're feeling exhausted and your friends want to go out, but you know you just shouldn't go. Um, I'm sure there's been times where you did go and regretted going because you then felt more depleted.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, there's a battle sometimes between your body and your head because your head is like, I don't want to let people down and I want to keep my agreement. And I think that that is also very important. But uh there has to be a balance, right? That you don't give more than you're able to. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Yeah, not just say yes to things because you don't want to upset anyone. Um, learn something I've had to do over the years is learn to say no. That's been quite a journey. Can we talk a bit about your mum? Uh you you spoke about growing up with a mother who had a bipolar disorder, and you've described learning to become like water, not just existing so she could. Um when did you first realize that not existing had a cost? And what did that cost look like for you?

SPEAKER_01 10:49

Well, it's very linked to what we were just saying. Um so at the time I didn't realize it had a cost or anything, it was completely survival, and um I learned to be kind of grateful for to my subconscious for protecting me in this way. Um so it was very adaptive, it really allowed me to survive in a in an environment that was very unpredictable. Um but yeah, I mean the cost only became visible later. Um, when I realized like I actually didn't know how I felt about thoughts, or I didn't seem to have an opinion. I was just able to respond to other people, or I could move through life effectively, but I didn't really have a strong sense of myself in it. I was kind of there to to serve, or I I was if someone was like, What do you want to do? I didn't really know. Um I would have like very subtle whims or impulses that I would follow, but but for the large part, uh I was kind of a blank slate. And um yeah, so then I became very good at reading other people um and having clarity about them, not myself at all, or or being aware of my own needs or emotions, like I didn't think I had them, to be honest, for a while. Um, and how that really showed up was um like overworking, overgiving, like like we were saying, like just um just going too far, not not having any boundaries, um having a very high tolerance for discomfort. Um because I didn't really put myself in the equation at all. Um so it became it was kind of a progressive awareness that came to me that was like, oh, um I don't think that that is healthy. Um and it it served me and it protected me um for a long time, but but it was time for it to shift into something else then. Um Gay Hendricks has an amazing quote um that I really love, um, which is people think that there are two faucets, which I believe means tab, and uh one for bad feelings, one for good. Um and you can just sort of turn the bad one off. Um, but it's not true, there's only one. So when you turn uh the bad one off, you're turning the good one off as well. So I guess yeah, I was uh unwillingly suppressing myself, like I was suppressing everything. Um and then well, I was having quite a I was perceiving myself to be having quite a great time because I was pretty blissful, um, but actually I was very numb. So yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:05

Is there a is there a time or a or uh I guess uh a number of moments in time where this started to really become or you started to become more aware of this, or was it a uh was it a big moment, or was it many small moments that collectively you started to question?

SPEAKER_01 14:33

So yeah, there were a few moments. Um there was one time when I was like later in my teenage years, and I it was the first time my body was just like I can't proceed. So I was I went to the doctor, um, and the doctor said, you know, everything seems fine. Uh you must be depressed. And that was one of the first times when I was really like, am I depressed? And I was like, no, that doesn't feel like that doesn't feel right. Um so then I kind of took myself away and I I did some deep introspection and I was like, well, what can I do? Um and well, I I was very fortunate to grow up with horses, and I was kind of fascinated that you can put them in a huge biodiversity and they know what to eat, what not to eat. Um, so I was like, well, we must have that wisdom within us. Um so then it kind of started like that for me. And I and then to start with, I was like, what I asked my body, what do you need for food? And then I it was kind of my first doorway in. And I um I then did a complete renovation of my diet, and my body must have been quite grateful because it started to feel better. And then uh I started listening to sensations in my body, like when it wants to move and um kind of following them and going with them, and that was like a gentle unfolding. And then there was a big, big one um when I started learning to dive, and um my diving instructor informed me that I was not breathing properly, and I realized um I had never breathed another way. Um so that that started a whole unfolding because once I started, I mean, I couldn't even breathe um like down into my belly, but once I started uh really kind of focusing on that and and trying to deepen my breath, um all of these emotions and it was like the faucet suddenly went um and I I started experiencing uh a lot a lot more intensity with like emotions and such. And yeah, it wasn't easy at first. I mean it's it's been a process, but but I was very grateful that I learned that that blew my mind, and yeah, that so that was a very big moment there. Um breath work seems to be kind of sorry, Elsa, uh breath work.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

That is that something that's a tool that you have really adapted into your day-to-day.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Oh yeah, definitely, because I think um when your nervous system is in a state of complete uh freeze or faint, um you that the the best the best really the best way for me that I found was was breathwork to really learn to activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help your body feel like it's safe. Um in a way that uh you know you can think, you can tell yourself, you can meditate, but really breathing and learning to uh connect with your body in that way, because I think for me when I was well when I was younger, and and this is quite common, like when there's a an uncomfortable situation we kind of go, and we we hold our breath and we don't we we think that that is and it is to some it's some point suppressing a feeling we might experience the intensity of it, but but then it has a cost, right? And it gets stuck. Um so breathing intentionally and um yeah, following different techniques, uh and even just probably breathing into like an experience or an emotion and like letting it be there, like letting it come up. Um yeah, big part of my day.

SPEAKER_00 19:06

Um and you know, when you just spoke about not thinking you had any feelings, um I really found that extraordinary. And you spoke about there were time there were moments, numerous moments and some big moments. Um what would you say are feelings that you experience quite easily now, but were never able to experience when you were much younger?

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Anger for sure. Um well when when I was younger, um, after a certain point, I really didn't feel any emotions. I was completely numb. So all of them. But um fear, fear was the first one that emerged. I I kind of experienced just the the panic, the anxiety, the terror that I had completely avoided. Um then anger came later, and that was a harder one to like invite into my life because well many reasons. Um, I mean, cultural, societal, um kind of appropriations around anger. Um, my mom had an absolute rage problem, and so I never experienced anger um expressed in a healthy way. So I was kind of like, well, I don't want that. Um and I didn't realize that anger anger had a a purpose and it was there to protect us, and anger shows us like trespass and helps us create boundaries, and so over time I I learned um that yeah, it's actually a good thing. And then came the quest of um kind of finding it in my body and allowing it to have a place, and I realized like where it is located in my um yeah, I still I it's still like a process for me to like you know learn how to say no, as you said, and um trust trust it, allow it, be grateful for it even, um and like kind of welcome it as part of the gang. Yeah. Yeah, I guess and also guilt. Um yeah, I I experienced a lot of guilt because well, when I was younger, um I had always done something wrong. Um, so and I found that within And I kind of feel like guilt is a mix of fear and anger. Um, so yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:10

Uh it's um really interesting. I remember um hearing from Brene Brown who talked about naming emotions, and she was doing some research. And when generally when people are asked to name emotions, they can get about three to five. Um, but she the work that she was doing was talking, you know, there's about 24, I think, that were on a particular list that they had defined as emotions that should be able to be um, you know, articulated and and felt, described, you know, all of those things. Um, and and I have tested this over the years when you ask people to name emotions, mostly they get to three angry, happy, sad, um, but rarely does someone get over five.

SPEAKER_01 23:09

So let me ask you now. It's interesting actually, and it's something that we've built into the uh I was just gonna say with the emotion categories, like the main groups, and within that we have like so many synonyms and different words so that you can really explore. And I think for me that has also been a great part of the process.

SPEAKER_00 23:34

Yeah. I I'm going to just uh apologize to listeners at the moment because we I mean, I love technology, but we have some lag and I and some freezing happening. So I I apologize to the listeners for this. Um technology is out of our hands sometimes, so I'm gonna bear with it and work through and see if we can keep going. But um it certainly um yeah, is a little bit disruptive, so I apologize for that. But um, so Elsa, your work is grounded in neuroscience, including the idea that we are deep inside, that when we're deep inside our emotions, we actually lose access to the memory of feeling the opposite. Can you explain what that means and why it changes the way we should talk to ourselves when things are hard?

SPEAKER_01 24:35

Yeah. So I think this was something that became really fascinating to me from observing my mother, and then realizing that um it exists to an extent within all of us, um, and then understanding and diving deeper into the neuroscience around this. Um, so when we're in a strong emotional state, um our brain becomes quite state-dependent. Um, so if you're feeling anxious or angry or overwhelmed, your brain is much better at accessing memories, thoughts, and sort of evidence to reinforce that and to match that state. Um, and similarly, it finds it hard to remember when you felt another way. Um, and so it's harder for you to access experiences when you felt calm or confident or clear or joyful. Um and so that's where you know it can some people can tend to get stuck because we're trying to think our way out of a state, um, but our brain is deeply lodged in that emotion, and so it takes a lot more to access a memory that doesn't reinforce that current state. Um so it kind of in that moment it helps to remind yourself like this is not the whole picture, um, this is kind of what's happening, and just to allow yourself to be there, um, be with it. Um, because when you kind of deeply accept and allow a state, um, it can have space to shift, then just to remind yourself, like not to believe the story that your mind is telling you in that moment when it is um kind of entrapped by that state.

SPEAKER_00 26:28

It's very interesting how the mind works, isn't it? Uh recently I have been doing some more writing in my book, and when you go back to memories, it's so amazing to me how a memory from such a long time ago can still have a uh a very clear effect or impact on the body. Um, especially whether it's a joyful memory or a not so nice memory, um, it's interesting that the impact it has. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Yeah. Well, the the memory center in our brain is stored right next to the amygdala, the emotion center. So when there's a really strong emotion, then the memory is more deeply embedded. And um, yeah, I I I guess our brain doesn't know the difference when we recall a memory from this moment being in that memory. So it is a very fascinating thing for sure.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

You mentioned that a hundred percent responsibility, nothing more, nothing less, really resonated with you. That was a podcast I did some time ago. You also said you used to take way too much. Um, where is the line between owning your experience and taking on what was never yours to carry?

SPEAKER_01 28:01

It's a very big one, yeah. Um and I think it's still a question that that I consider like every day. Um, but for me, I think true responsibility is internal and over responsibility is external. So when I was younger, um, as a coping mechanism, I tried to take responsibility um subconsciously of everything around me, um, how people felt, like how situations unfolded, whether things were calm or not. Um, and I thought that that was being responsible, but um it was just me like subconsciously kind of controlling and adapting to what was like a very challenging time. And then I think when I realized actually I'm only responsible for my own experience, for my internal world, for how I feel, of how I behave. Um, I don't have any responsibility over how other people behave, how they feel, what they choose, what they think, any of it. Um, I mean, what a relief.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

Um yeah. Uh uh look when I when I first got that, I mean, uh taking a hundred percent responsibility is a chapter that I was writing. I I was actually finishing it off last week, and um I had to think about moments where I really understood that and really took a hundred percent responsibility again for my actions only. And um, you know, I I feel like when you really get that, things can shift significantly. Um and like you said, not taking responsibility for other people's actions. You know, if you've ever had in your life someone say to you, you made me angry, um, you made me sad, or you made me happy, or you know, there's a whole lot of different language around that. And um, yeah, when you when you take responsibility uh and you don't allow other people to blame you for something you have no control of either, it does shift. It really, really does shift. So can we talk about yeah, yeah, can we talk about your app? Um, so your app creates a video dialogue between your past, present, and future self, which is quite a remarkable idea. Um, where did that come from? And is there a version of you from your past that you wish you could have shown to the future?

SPEAKER_01 31:03

Yeah, well, thank you for your kind words. Um so it kind of circles back to our conversation previously when my body shut down as a founder, so the second time. Um, I was at a trade show, and so it was a healthy life-free brand. So we were all about health and vitality and multi-dimensional well-being. Um, but and I guess I hadn't realized um the accumulation of messages from my body, but in that moment, I had to take myself away from the stand because I was making the company look bad. I was not representing everything that we stood for, and I felt awful um to the point where I went to um a cafe and I sat down and the security guy was like, Are you okay? And I was like, I don't think so. And yeah, um then I really wondered um like how I had lost perspective in this way. Um, because as as I said before, and um I had all these practices and I thought I was doing great, and I thought I was being resilient and everything. I thought I was resilient, but in natural fact I was um avoiding. And yeah, in that moment, I really wondered um because I knew that there had been many countless times in my life where I had felt joyful and inspired. Um, and I really wondered what that version of me would say to me in that moment. Um, and that's kind of where the app came from, um as a way to maintain perspective, um, but also as a way to access yourself when you're experiencing other states. Um yeah, so if we can be aware about how our perspective shifts over time and we can access it across times, especially in moments when we need it most, um, I thought that would be quite interesting.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

Yeah, and and what stage are you up to with it?

SPEAKER_01 33:26

We are just finalizing our beta. So we have done uh a few rounds of testing and then we have been evolving it as we go. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:35

Wow, how exciting! That that is super exciting, and you know, and certainly um I would love you to keep our listeners posted um so that they can, you know, uh be able to use it and see if it's a really valuable tool for them. Thank you. I would be honored. So I want to ask about um kind of the paradox of grief and freedom. So you describe something after your mother passed that many people feel, but uh very um, I guess very few say out loud, a kind of grief mixed with freedom. Uh, I think you described it as a force field lifting. Uh so for anyone listening who has felt that and felt guilty about it, what would you say to them?

SPEAKER_01 34:37

So I was very lucky that um over the years my mum and I rebuilt our relationship from the ground up and it got to a really lovely place. Um but she was very, very intensely focused on me, and I could really feel that like like a force field, as you said. Um and when she passed away, um I experienced like such a range of emotions because um I loved her dearly, and you know, it's like the deep connection you have with a human, right? It's your mom, and so I was completely heartbroken. Um, but I also felt this force-field lift because um she wasn't constantly thinking about me and worrying about me and kind of trying to manage from afar. Um so there was a freedom in that and also a feeling of like well, I'm really on my own now, um, which I had considered that I was you know, since I left home, but I hadn't felt it that profoundly. Um so yeah, I mean grief is such a complex thing, and uh there's I would say like to just welcome every part of the experience, um, because I mean feeling that freedom um it does not mean that you're you're glad that they're gone, it's completely the opposite, but it's just um a part of experiencing the the grief and the the experience fully, um which yeah, I I think it's I mean I I don't know what other people's experiences like, but for me, um making sure that I don't resist anything or feel bad about anything, um be it the feeling of freedom, the like the anger, the just letting it all have a place. Um and then through that I was able to work through it, I think, in a in a much better way.

SPEAKER_00 37:09

It's interesting when um when I lost my grandfather when he passed away, uh I had a very close relationship with my grandparents on my mother's side. And when my grandfather passed away, sorry, the night before my grandfather passed, I was sitting with this sadness knowing that he was going to pass away. But I also sat with this feeling of um, and I'm not terribly religious. I uh I don't practice a religion, I'm very spiritual, but I don't practice a religion. However, I rang a friend of mine who um practices religion uh very deeply, and I said to him, Is it okay to pray for someone to pass? And he said, I've not had anyone ask me that question before. And he said, but I can't see why not. I said, it's not praying for him to pass in a bad way, it's acknowledging that he had such a wonderful life and he was suffering. And I remember him telling me, asking me if I had a Bible, which I did have a Bible, and he said, and as he said to open it up to a certain page, I opened the Bible to exactly that page. I didn't know, I just opened it to start, and it was exactly on the left-hand side, the prayer that he was asking me to go to was there, and he said, Can we say the prayer together? Which we did. And um, and my and I didn't know my grandfather would pass overnight, but he did pass overnight, and we had said a prayer that you know he had lived a very full life, and um, and I knew that it he he wanted to go and be with my nan because she had already passed, but it was um and I was sad at his funeral, but the it wasn't a overwhelming grief. It was a I'm sad my grandfather's gone, but I'm very relieved that he's passed and he doesn't have to suffer anymore. And when you were talking about grief, you know, I think everyone feels grief in a different way, and certainly people have talked a lot about grief doesn't look like one thing for everyone, it looks very different for everyone. Um, did you find the people around you allowed you to grieve in the way that you needed to?

SPEAKER_01 39:53

Yeah, yeah. I I was fortunate because, well, I'm not sure it's fortunate, but my partner lost his mum when he was younger, so he knew exactly what I needed to to a large extent. Um and I'm very fortunate that um my my friends and my support group were just very compassionate and didn't try to navigate the situation in any way. They were just there. Um I mean people always feel uncomfortable, but I think you know the best friends are the ones that are just willing just to sit with the discomfort and not try and fix it, not try and say the right thing, just to kind of like hold you as you ex as you go through your experience. Um because like really you need to go through your experience, you need to experience it fully, and anyone that wants to sort of band-aid it or or take you out of it is not helping you at all. Um and and most of my friends understand that, so I was very grateful. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:09

Thank you for sharing that because that's um, I think such a beautiful thing that you said about allowing people just to sit with you, just to sit in whatever it is that you need at the time. So um, Elsie, you said that learning softness and self-compassion is actually how you built real strength. And that being kind to yourself is not weakness, it's actually a foundation. For someone who has spent their whole life being hard on themselves, where would you encourage them to start with that self-compassion and that softness for themselves?

SPEAKER_01 41:56

Yeah, I think yeah, for a long time I I thought that um persisting and pushing through um really was strength. And that was something that I I learned from my mother. Um and you know, we learn things from the people around us, right? But well, I realized that it's actually resistance, and well, do you know the analogy of the rider and the elephant?

SPEAKER_00 42:24

Uh I I think I have heard it, but share it with the listeners.

SPEAKER_01 42:28

So the the elephant represents uh your brainstem and your limp the limbic part of your brain, so the ancient ancient parts of your brain that that are in charge of your subconscious and ancestral patterns and emotions, and then the rider is um the prefrontal cortex, which is just your lot, well not just, but the logical part of your brain. And um when your the rider and the elephant are fighting each other, um, well, the elephant's always gonna win. So I think for me, um learning to get in touch with myself in a deeper way and to befriend everything um created like a harmony with with my elephant. And so um, and your elephant is your superpower, right? Because they are much stronger, much wiser, much older than um than our logical mind for sure. Um so for me, I think like when we're it seems like when we're not when I'm not fighting myself, um then I can access my truest power. Um and so if that looks like listening to myself, uh when when I'm tired, I don't want to do something, like not reaching for that coffee, um protecting my space if I need to. um uh keeping my elephant happy. Um yeah, so listening to yourself, listening to that voice in your head, um listening to like the the sensations, the emotions, um just being on the same team as your emotions, your body, your subconscious. Um yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:29

Yeah. And that's a really interesting thing. I I'm a um you know very very guilty of pushing through and doing what I need to do for others you know and you know when you talk about that listening and and being I I really had to learn how to sit and just be in nothingness to to start to hear you know because I think the other noise was so loud for so long um that it took me a long time to to get to that point. So I think it's an ongoing process. Yeah I was gonna say I think I'm still working on it. Me too.

SPEAKER_01 45:23

So looking across back across everything the shutdowns the grief the horses the app the long and winding road to your own feelings what do you think your body was trying to teach you that your mind kept refusing to learn I think the uh most fundamentally it boils down to listening um which has kind of been the recurring theme um and also back to what I was saying about the you know the rider and the elephant like we can't override parts of ourselves um when something when when when we experience like a trauma or um an experience that is like unsettling to us then we need to learn to resolve it um make peace with it not necessarily understand but these things are stored in our nervous system um and our subconscious and we can't just like battle our way through um so I think my mind um my mind just wanted to just press on and just leave everything behind and assume that that was resolved because I had reconciled it in my head. Everything made sense like I was fine but my body um uh didn't agree and so um it was it was a long kind of journey from my mind from my head into my body and realizing that the two can work together in synergy and then and then I have like a like a much more amazing experience of life right a much richer experience so more intensity which can be challenging but it is ultimately amazing um so yeah um just listen to it um listen to everything and lean in lean into it go with it um do more of it um rather than being afraid and pushing things down um because yeah eventually it will come back up to the surface and and if you haven't listened once twice three times you know the message gets more intense and I wanted I wanted to I wanted to live in an aligned way I wanted to be aware of my intuition and my sensitivity and I I thought I could just do that without resolving the past but um but I couldn't and now I know that bringing everything into the picture that's when like that's when we have a much greater capacity for love compassion strength um because then we are like whole yeah for sure I um had a a period of time last year where I didn't listen to my body and um I had had some quite stressful external events occur.

SPEAKER_00 48:54

So my body said I'm gonna give you shingles but not only am I going to give you shingles I'm gonna give it to you in your eyes so you can't see and then you have to listen. That's a very clear one yeah yeah yeah that was a very big message for me and um yeah it it was truly scary but like we know when you won't listen to the body the body will make you listen and that's exactly what happened.

SPEAKER_01 49:24

So um not not the kind of reminder I wanted but um yeah it was a very interesting time so yeah we don't always get what we want but we get what we need right very much so um as you step deeper into your work with the app and your life um in the Portuguese countryside what does the next chapter of Elsa look like and what are you most curious about well I feel like um so I just turned 36 and I was talking with a a friend about it and well they said would you want to go back in time and I thought no like this is this is incredible because of all of the learnings and work that I have done and I still have so much but um there's this feeling of completeness and I'm very excited to build my business from like a a sustainable and aligned place rather than um my the first time around where I was bursting out of the blocks and I was just throwing a lot of energy at it but I hadn't made peace with the past and with what I needed to with like my internal world. So I'm really excited to create from this space and just to see what happens. I'm very curious to see what happens um I'm also like diving deeper into um the workings of the mind and the subconscious and the nervous system um that brings me a lot of curiosity at the moment um the next chapter I hopefully have um my first foal on the way my youngest my first dream um was to breed horses and um through uh yeah through finding my horse I um found the breed that I absolutely love um it's the Lusitano they are um they were actually bred to be war horses so they're like incredibly they're incredibly sensitive like the level of sensitivity is like nothing I've experienced but they're so tough and resilient and powerful um and so um yeah I I've started my little reading program and um so that's very exciting and yeah I think um just very open now um I didn't want to I don't want to project too much onto my future anymore because I know that nothing ever unfolds exactly as I imagined um but I feel good I feel good but I feel good knowing that um I'm gonna be taking responsibility for my experience and from every part of me as I go along that journey um which makes it exciting and let's see oh fantastic um I've got a last question for you which is for our listeners if there for those who are listening if there is one thing you would want someone to take away with them from this conversation what would that be uh the first thing that comes to me is um that there's nothing wrong with you you don't you're not flawed um learn to embrace every part of you even the the things that don't seem right or like embrace every part of yourself with compassion and curiosity rather than judgment and just lean into it more because when we lean into something that we feel is uncomfortable or intense in a way that we don't like um when we fully allow it and accept it then quite often a a doorway opens in the back of it into a new experience. So yeah for me I think it's like just saying yes to everything every part of life and um yeah if in doubt invite it in more and explore it more and see where that takes you with uh yeah with compassion compassion and curiosity.

SPEAKER_00 54:16

I love that compassion and curiosity wow thank you look Elsa thank you so much uh the courage it takes to build something especially from your own healing and also trusting us with parts of your journey um that I know weren't easy uh the conversation will stay with people long after they stop listening and I'm just so grateful to have had you here so thank you so much for joining us thank you so much Donna thank you amazing questions and yeah your your experience and wisdom um is is really beautiful and oh thank you so much thank you for the opportunity