279. Don’t Throw in the Towel! How to Keep Going When You Feel Like Giving Up on Your Goals

Feeling stuck and ready to give up on your goals? You're not alone. 

Hitting a wall in your progress can be frustrating, leading to doubt, disappointment, and the temptation to quit. But what if giving up now means missing out on the success that's just around the corner? 

In this episode, we’re diving into the mindset shifts and practical strategies that will help you push through obstacles, regain motivation, and stay on track—even when it feels impossible. 

If you’re struggling to stay committed, this episode is exactly what you need to keep going.

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Resources From This Episode

>> Insulin Resistance Diet Blueprint - https://www.zivli.com/blueprint?el=podcast

>> Free Low Insulin Food Guide - https://www.zivli.com/ultimatefoodguide?el=podcast

>> Join the Zivli Program Waitlist - https://www.zivli.com/join?el=podcast

>> Test Your Insulin at Home - https://www.zivli.com/testing?el=podcast

Have a question? Email us at: support@zivli.com

Transcript

What do you do when you're having these automatic self-sabotaging negative thoughts?

Hi, I'm Dr. Morgan Nolte, founder of Zivli. As a geriatric physical therapist, I saw the heartbreaking effects of insulin resistance. At Zivli, our mission is to help you prevent and reverse insulin resistance for long-term weight loss and disease prevention through a low insulin and inflammation lifestyle. Each week on this podcast, you'll learn simple, actionable tips to lose weight, keep it off, and get healthy. If you're ready to create a body and life you love,

you're in the right place. Let's get started.

Well, hey there and welcome back to another episode of the Reshape Your Health podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Nolte. I hope you're having a wonderful week so far. Today's topic is a very common coaching topic. I recently coached a new Zivli member through this conversation during one of our weekly live group Q &A calls. So how our Zivli program works is it's an online course curriculum and new members get access to one new module a week of learning content.

that teaches them how to live this low insulin and inflammation lifestyle so that they can really lose the weight, keep it off, and improve their health. And along with the course material, they have access to weekly live group coaching calls. And one of our members said that she was struggling and she kind of started strong, and that is so common. like, okay, you join a program, you start strong, and then life happens. I think that's the way that she put it. Life happens.

And for her specifically, it's an environmental thing. So she babysits grandkids and they love to cook. And so then she's around the sugar and she has a hard time with that. You know, just being around the tempting food and also probably being in a little bit of a stressful environment with the demands of young children, right? So anybody who's been a parent or a caregiver knows that that's not necessarily easy and you're really giving a lot of yourself and it's

very easy to fall into those I deserve it thoughts, especially at the end of the day when you finally have a minute to decompress. So I was coaching her through those thoughts. Whenever someone's like, I'm kind of falling off the wagon or I'm getting off track or I'm not doing very well. Those are some of my favorite coaching conversations to have. And I thought if she's having those thoughts, I'm sure she's not alone. I'm sure there's other listeners out there.

especially this time of year, right? Like we're almost two months into the new year and I'm sure that you've had new year's resolutions that maybe you forgot about already or maybe you're just not as consistent as you would like to be. So let's have that conversation about what do you do when you're having these automatic self-sabotaging negative thoughts. And for her, the thoughts specifically were, I threw in the towel and I gave up.

because of her behaviors, right? She started to eat the sugar and that's obviously not her goal, not her intention, but she just kind of succumbed, you know, she just gave into it. And so then her brain was like, well, you're throwing the towel, you're giving up. And I think part of my job as a coach is to be a mirror of language. So reflecting the language back to her and saying, okay, this is what I'm hearing you say, but

One of the most important questions that you can ask yourself along this journey to better health, along your journey to becoming the best version of yourself is, is this thought true? Is this thought true? Because I can tell you right now, so many of the thoughts that you're thinking that are causing self-sabotage simply aren't true. And you're not catching them fast enough and turning them around.

So that is part of the mindset work that we teach inside of our Zivli program. And one analogy that I like to use for this is a car. So I want you to think about a really fancy sports car or like your dream car, whatever that may be for you. And each tire is like one of the pillars in this low insulin and inflammation lifestyle, right? We have proper nutrition, that's one tire. Exercise is another tire. Stress management is a tire.

and then sleep is a tire, okay? Each of those tires can cost, I don't know, five, $10,000 if it's a really fancy car. We're just making up numbers here. You can have the best tires in the world. You can have the best game plan in the world, but if the tire is flat, the car is not going anywhere. The car will not work without air in the tires, and a strong mindset is like having air in the tires, okay? I'm hoping that this is making sense to you.

A lot of people out there feel like they know what to do, but they're just not doing it. And that is one of the best indicators that there is a gap in their current mindset and the mindset of the future version of themselves who has reached the goal. Okay. So working on your mindset is so important. And that's why I love these little quickie episodes. Another great example recently is it was my turn to pick out the movie for movie night with the kids.

And at the time of this recording, this was just yesterday. One of my favorite movies growing up was The Secret Garden. It was released in 1993. And I have vivid memories of laying on my grandparents' floor, wrapping up in their fur rugs, and watching this movie. And I didn't remember hardly any of it. I was very surprised actually at how little I remembered from the movie, because it had been like, I don't know, over 30 years, probably, since I watched this movie.

And Dawson and Leah, of course, were not excited about this movie at all. They wanted animation. They did not care to watch real life people. But it was a really sweet movie. So if you haven't seen it yet, I think I found it on Amazon Prime. It's called The Secret Garden. Again, it's the one from 1993. And in it, there's this little girl, Mary, and her parents die, and her uncle adopts her. And there's also her cousin, Colin.

and he's the same age and Colin's mom passed away when she had him. And then his dad went into this dark depression and he grew up essentially believing that he was crippled and sick and that he was going to die. And so everybody around him catered into that belief. They carried him from like the bed to the chair. He never had the opportunity to walk.

He didn't let light in his windows because of the air spores and he was afraid he was going to get sick. So much fear was running through this little boy until Mary comes and she's like, what's your problem, dude? You have legs, you can walk. You're just fine. We need to get you some sunshine. You're just, she's like, you're not sick. You're just weak. And so it wasn't until Mary believed in his ability that he started to believe in his ability and question his beliefs. And then when he started to question his own beliefs,

He started to think that new things were possible for him. And then little by little, you know, he started walking and then running and then playing and being happy and not being afraid to live his life. And that is the power of a belief. And we live into our own beliefs. We live up to or down to whatever expectations are placed upon us as a child. But as we grow up, it's our responsibility to place our own expectations on ourselves so that we can live up to those.

And Dawson, my son, he's six, going on about 80. And he's like, mom, why did that little boy think that he couldn't walk? Like, that doesn't make any sense to me. Why didn't he just like get up and walk? And I said, because Dawson, people will live into the expectations that are placed upon them. And everybody around this little boy told him that he was sick, told him that he couldn't do it. They set an example that...

He was a sick little child that was gonna die and couldn't walk. And so he believed that and he lived into that and that is the power of words. And so that is why as a family, we always tell you, you are so loved. You are so strong. You are so smart. You are so capable. It's like the more recent movie, The Help, right? Like that, if you haven't watched the movie, The Help, it's really, really good. I think Viola Davis might be in that one.

The line that she says to the little girl is you is kind, you is smart, you is important. And I say that with my little fake Southern accent, but she's speaking those truths into the, into the child. So the child will believe that and live into that. So all of that to say, I told Dawson, if we tell you that you're smart and you're strong and you're kind, you will believe that eventually. And that is the type of person that you will become.

But if we tell you, you're such a horrible kid or, you never listen or, you know, you're such a bother, you're such a pain, then you're gonna go about believing those things and turn into that kind of child. And we know that that's not your truth. So it's very, very important to become aware of your own self-talk and your own dialogue and be mindful to ask yourself, you know, is this true?

So for the member that said, you I had these thoughts like I'm giving up or I'm throwing the towel. I said, that is, that's just not true. And she's like, I know, I know it's not true. And so I think there's a couple of things that we can, that we can do a couple of places that we can go with this. And the first is that I asked her for evidence. said, I want you to tell me evidence that that's not true, that that was just an automatic negative thought.

It was a feeling. Remember that feelings are fleeting. We don't have to pay attention or listen to all of our feelings. We can choose different thoughts that create different feelings. So she said, I kind of had to coach her through this. like, you're here, you're watching the modules, you are doing your daily mindset work like this and this and this and this and this. But I can identify those like so fast because I have lots of.

practice at identifying wins in myself and identifying wins in our members. But it's a skill, right? And that is why recognizing wins is part of our start daily meeting agenda that we teach you right in the onboarding module because we want you to get good at priming your brain for what you're doing well, because these automatic negative thoughts, they will come. I still have them. Okay, like there are times where I still want to give up.

And it's very fleeting and I recognize that that is just a lie that I don't have to believe and I choose not to believe it. And then I redirect my thoughts. So that is the first little piece of advice here is to recognize that as an adult, it is our job, is your job to set expectations for yourself, to create your own thoughts, to create your own beliefs and to challenge those automatic negative thoughts and ask yourself, is this thought true?

Do you really wanna give up? Probably not, right? Because what happens if you give up? Like play that scenario out. You become like the next 600 pound person on the TLC show, you My 600 Pound Life. No, that's not really what's gonna happen, but it's gonna take you longer to reach your goals. You're gonna be more miserable on the way. Like you're not gonna feel like you're living up to your potential, which in my opinion is the most crushing feeling in the world to feel like you're not living up to your potential.

So play it out, know, if you want to live into that, fine, play it out and then realize, yeah, that is not true. I actually don't want all of those consequences of giving up. I am trying and here is evidence that I'm trying. So look for the evidence, okay? Now the second tip that I wanted to give you today that I gave to her is action items. So I asked her, said, do you have a morning mindset routine? She said, yes. She prays before she gets out of bed. She asks for strength.

We haven't made it to the mindset module yet in the Zivli course. So she hasn't written what we call her personal faith formula. And I explained to her that is going to be your mindset anchor for the day. It's almost like you're on a boat, you're casting out your anchor for the day. That anchor is going to ground you into your values, into who you want to become, into how you want to show up for the day. So that, you know, if you have like a fleeting moment of stress babysitting the grandkids,

or a lot of temptation in the evenings to go and eat the sugar, we can return to that. It's like your boat doesn't veer very far off from that personal faith formula when you read it every single day. But if you don't have an anchor, if you don't have a mindset document that's very well written, that's very intentional, then it's almost like being a boat just at sea with no anchor and you're like floating around aimlessly and wherever the waves take you is where you go.

All right, wherever your emotions take you is where you go. So that's why that personal faith formula is so powerful. Zivli members, I cannot wait if you're a new member listening. I can't wait for you to get that. If you're an existing member listening, be sure that you're doing that, because it's a really, really critical part of your mindset routine, okay? And part of that morning mindset routine, along with reading the personal faith formula, is setting action items for the day.

And for this person specifically, she would really benefit from concrete, I plan to do A, B, and C today as evidence that I am moving forward towards the healthiest version of myself. And this can be whatever you want them to be, morning mindset routine, drinking your water, exercising, not eating after dinner, not snacking between meals, having 30 to 50 grams of protein at each meal.

I could go on and on and on forever on creating action items. And the point of having an action item is giving your brain a very clear set of instructions on how to show up, what you wanna do, what you're focusing on. And also, ideally, those action items then turn into your wins. So that evening or the next morning, you can reflect on your wins from the previous day. And guess what?

Like if you did your action items, those become your wins, right? And how good does that feel? So if you don't get your action items done, that's also great data, great information that we can dig into more to say, okay, why didn't we get those action items done? Were there limiting thoughts that came up? Do we need to change your environment? Do we need to pare down the action item a little bit? Was that too much of an ask for your brain?

It's all good data, right? It's all a win. And that's what I want you to work on with your mindset is reframing everything as a win because you either get the result that you wanted or a lesson that you needed. Okay? So that's why literally everything can be framed into a win with practice. The last thing that I wanted to share with you today that I shared with her is progress, not perfection. So if you are trying to be perfect,

That is a surefire way to burn yourself out. If you can be healthy 80 to 90 % of the time, like if 80 to 90 % of your choices are healthy, that's honestly going to probably be good enough to not only help you reach your goals, but to maintain those goals, to maintain your progress. Trying to go 95, 100 % of the time with your goals, for most people, that's just not a flexible enough lifestyle.

to maintain all of the time. So recognize that perfection is a myth and it's actually probably healthier for you mentally to be consistent like 90 % of the time instead of 95 to 100 % of the time. That's my personal belief on it just from experience and coaching people. So a lot of times those thoughts of like, I'm giving up, I'm throwing in the towel, I'm completely off track. Those can also be traced back to that all or nothing mindset.

that we can almost put a salve on with, okay, I'm falling back into that mindset trap of all or nothing. I'm recognizing that. I'm choosing the mindset of progress, not perfection. I'm choosing the mindset of getting 1 % better every day. I'm choosing to question my own thoughts and my own feelings and ask myself if that's true. I'm choosing to redirect the thoughts and look for the evidence of progress. So that is my challenge for you today, all right? Number one,

Set your morning action items. Number two, either that night or the next morning, I want you to reflect and say, did I get those done? If I did, yay, good for me. If I didn't, what lesson did I learn? How do I need to change my environment? Do I need to pare back the action item? Do I need to just focus on one action item instead of three? It's all good data, right? And then especially as you go throughout your week this week, pay attention to your thoughts.

those negative thoughts and question them and ask yourself, is this true? It's probably not. And then the next step is to look for evidence otherwise, okay? I hope that you enjoyed today's episode. If you did, shoot me a message on Instagram so I know that you want more like them. And I hope that you have a wonderful rest of your week. I'll talk with you next week. Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to the Reshape Your Health podcast today. To learn more about Zibli, our online course and coaching program to reverse insulin resistance for long-term weight loss and disease prevention, check out our website at www.zibli.com. That's z-i-v-l-i.com. And if you enjoyed today's episode, please leave a rating and review on your listening platform and share it with a friend.

I'll talk with you at the same time, same place next week. Bye for now.