284. Failing Forward: How Mindset Fuels Fitness and Success with Melissa Vogel

Ever feel like you're stuck in the same cycle, unable to make lasting changes in your health and fitness? You’re not alone. 

Many women struggle to prioritize themselves amid family, work, and other life responsibilities, leading to frustration, burnout, and a loss of personal identity. But what if the secret to transformation isn’t just diet and exercise—but a complete shift in mindset?

In this episode, Melissa Vogel, fitness expert and host of the Bomb Life Podcast, reveals why mindset must come first, how to reshape your identity for sustainable success, and the powerful role of vision boards, journaling, and visualization techniques.

Learn how to break free from quick-fix diets, reframe failure as a stepping stone, and build a lifestyle that truly supports your goals. If you’re tired of feeling stuck and want real, lasting change, this episode is for you!

Resources From The Guest

>> Melissa's Website

>>Melissa's YouTube

>>Melissa's Instagram

>>Melissa's Facebook

>>Melissa's Podcast

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Resources From This Episode

>> Insulin Resistance Diet Blueprint - https://www.zivli.com/blueprint?el=podcast

>> Free Low Insulin Food Guide - https://www.zivli.com/ultimatefoodguide?el=podcast

>> Join the Zivli Program Waitlist - https://www.zivli.com/join?el=podcast

>> Test Your Insulin at Home - https://www.zivli.com/testing?el=podcast

Have a question? Email us at: support@zivli.com

Transcript

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (00:03)
Hey there and welcome back to another episode of the Reshape Your Health podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Morgan Nolte. I hope your new year is off to a wonderful start. I know this interview is really going to pump you up and keep you motivated to continue with whatever new year's resolutions or goals you have going on. Our guest today is Melissa Vogel. She's the owner of Melissa Vogel Fitness LLC with over 20 years of experience as a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor. She created Busy to Bomb.

Fit Mom to help busy moms achieve fitness through mindset, nutrition, and exercise. As the host of the top rated Bomb Mom podcast, she explores diverse health topics, inspiring listeners to achieve their goals. Melissa is also a motivational speaker, author of the Bomb Mom recipe book. She's a model, actress, and a busy mom of three daughters. We were talking offline how we could probably talk all day because we are living this

mom, fit mom, lifestyle and being good examples for our kids. And it's such a passion of mine because y'all know, like I really believe that the health of the mother is so important for the health of the children mentally, physically, emotionally, all of it's so important. So Melissa, thank you so much for joining the show today.

Melissa Vogel (01:03)
You

Thank you so much for having me here.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (01:23)
Yeah. Well, let's get started. When we were talking about how do we want to structure the interview to add the most value to listeners, you thought a really good starting place would be to talk about why failure quote unquote is underrated. So can you explain why you think failure is underrated?

Melissa Vogel (01:29)
and

It is. We, especially women, we are so hard on ourselves. And the two things that pop up the most when we feel like we failed is that guilt and like the shame, you know, and we're like, God, another thing or well, if I do this, then that means that happens. And everyone watched me and like that guilt and shame takes over and people don't realize. And I think it's cause we're not taught either, you know, when we're young that like, no, that failure of whatever you feel that it was.

That's a stepping stone to your success. But most people fail and they just like, that, didn't work out. I failed another thing. I tried it that wasn't for me, whether that's in the gym or with your nutrition or with anything, with your job, with anything. But that was collecting data. That's how I'm always telling my clients and my kids, like that's collecting data of what didn't work. And when you can look at how you failed, what went wrong, that's

That's like the golden ticket to succeed. That's the way to move forward. And if women just apply that more to their health and fitness journey, my God, you could become unstoppable with that information.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (02:49)
Yeah, I love the gap in the game book. Have you read that one? It's a good one. I mean, it's a very simple concept, but I thought the book did a nice job going deeper into it. And there's a quote in there that I love. There's two actually. It's like goals are not just meant for achieving, they're meant for learning. And then I think it's in that book where they say there's only learning and growing. There's really not, or there's only succeeding in learning. So there's a lot of different ways that you can say that.

Melissa Vogel (02:52)
I have it.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (03:17)
So that's why I said quote unquote failure because I think that word has such a negative connotation. Like you said, like we are so wired to think about failure and then we have that layered emotion of guilt or shame. And if we just remove, get a little lobotomy and remove that failure word from our mind, it's like you're growing or you're learning and that's it.

then it doesn't have that negative connotation because learning and growing is automatically associated with positive feeling emotions. So it's very similar to a growth mindset, but a little bit more strategic in how we approach counting our gains, counting every single little thing, every quote unquote failure as a gain because we learned something from it or we grew from it. So you would absolutely love that book. It's right up your alley.

Melissa Vogel (03:48)
Great.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

dude, I wrote it down. I wrote it down. I haven't read that one yet. But that's one of my first questions too of when I'm bringing on, especially if I'm working with like a new client, I'm like, what have you tried in the past? What didn't work? Like tell me all the times that you failed before and they're like, well, why it didn't work? And I'm like, no, no, no, this is going to give me really good information of how your body responded to things or where your mindset was at that time. You know, maybe you were in a really dark place when you were attempting to do something else or

you know, whatever. And even with my kids, when they're like, my God, I had a terrible practice and this happened. And I'm like, no, now you know what not to do. Now you know how to grow and get better for your next game or your next practice or another friendship, you know, it can just be applied to so many different areas of life, but God, no one teaches us this. Like no one's talking about these basic

fundamental things because life is nothing but you're falling on your face, right? Like life is nothing but learning and growing and succeeding and failing and taking four steps backwards. That's life.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (05:14)
Yeah,

I love the quote like failure is the price of success. Nobody who is successful has not failed repeatedly, did not stink at the beginning of whatever they were doing. I love going back and like watching old videos that I've done or like looking at old PDFs that I created. like, this was terrible and good for me for like, good for me for trying. I think that this is important to go into this mindset part of it because so many people struggle.

Melissa Vogel (05:31)
they're hilarious.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (05:43)
for years and decades in the majority of their life with this diet mindset that they're never good enough, they're always gonna have a weight problem, they're always gonna have health problems. It's almost like they're resigned to their own mindset, to their own limitations. And I'd really be interested to know of the listeners of the population at large, how many New Year's resolutions were made around mindset versus specific actions?

So can you talk about the importance of why mindset is so important to lead to the consistent actions that ultimately get us the results that we're looking for?

Melissa Vogel (06:12)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Well, people do it backwards, right? They're always like, I just need this activity to get me to hit my goal. And no one talks about, no, no, no, no, no. It has to start like top down, right? Like this is what has to get in place first. And people don't realize that. And people don't realize as well. Like when we get, when we put on weight, when we get stuck in ruts, when we become this person and we look in the mirror and we're like,

I don't even know who I am anymore, right? And they know they want to transform. They know they want to do things. They don't realize that they've also developed this identity and they have formed this identity to being this person. And they're like, well, you know, I'm just, they don't say it out loud, but it's like back here, right? I'm just this overweight mom. I've had a couple kids, you know, I used to play sports. I used to do those things.

I just, I'm a taxi now and I do this and I work and I come home and I do this. There's no time for me. And they don't realize like how much that's, that's an identity. And in order to make difference, a physical difference, you have to start in the head and really start identifying and changing that and becoming a, no, I'm a strong mom. I'm independent. I'm capable. I'm whatever you want that to look like. And that has to start up here first, because if your brain doesn't believe,

what you're after, your body will never follow suit. I am always saying this isn't a Melissa Vogel quote at all, but the brain is the general and the body is the soldiers. And whatever that brain and that mindset is, the body's gonna just follow suit. So if you're constantly saying, God, I'm so tired, I'm so tired, or I plateau at this weight, or I'm always late, or I can never remember a name, like whatever that programming is,

the body listens and goes, okay, got it boss. Hey, we're plateauing at 162 pounds. And the body's like, okay, we can't do anything. Her back hurts. Remember guys? Okay. And it's so funny because I explained this to my kids too. And my little one's always like, you make it sound like your body's a bunch of bodies. And I'm like, it is, it's the soldiers. It's just listening for what the general is going to tell you. And in the fitness world,

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (08:37)
Mm-hmm.

Melissa Vogel (08:43)
you know, and for how long I've been in this space, it's all of my training, all of the exposure I've had and to other trainers and things that I've gone to all across the country. No one ever stopped and said, hey, when you're working with your clients, there has to be space and time and availability to really change their mindset around it. Because if the mind doesn't believe the body won't follow. And at first I was like,

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (09:07)
interesting.

Melissa Vogel (09:12)
That's not true. We just needed to do more sets and reps and that person's not lifting heavy enough. And you know, I was like, no way until I plateaued myself and I got in the position and I'm going, it's not fair. What's wrong with me? I'm doing everything right. You know, after that third kind of like, why is my body plateauing? And I had no idea. Melissa, you weren't doing any mental work. You weren't doing any mindset work. And I was just stuck.

and hitting a wall continuously. And that's what really opened my mind up to even simple things like journaling. What's my self talk? What affirmations am I looking at around my house? Do you even have a vision board? You know, all of these things that sounds so silly and just so like, ooh, she's got affirmations written down. Those are little keys. Those are like breadcrumbs that are going to lead you to success. But who was supposed to teach us this?

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (10:11)
No one.

And if we don't do that, then we kind of get, we're either going to get brainwashed by society or brainwashed by herself. And when we can, like, don't you think that especially going through motherhood, like that's a huge, huge identity shift. And there are so many messages around how we should show up as a mom. think a lot of them are becoming a little bit more outdated, but I don't know about you, but like being a working mom is a hot topic for me and being that martyr mom.

I think that there's a lot of martyr moms out there who constantly feel like if they're not doing every single little thing for their kids, or they're not putting the needs of the ones that are kids above their own wellbeing, they're being a bad mom. And then the mom girl just like piles on. So that was my default mom programming. And I had to say, well, how do I wanna show up as a mom? How do I wanna show up as a wife? How do I wanna take care of myself?

Melissa Vogel (10:40)
Yes.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (11:06)
And it had to be an intentional creation of my own mind in my mind, because everything is created twice, right? First in your mind, then in reality. And I have some mindset practices that I do. One is just auto suggestion. I'm sure you teach this to your clients where you're giving yourself the positive affirmations or the vision statement or whatever we want to call it every single day, sometimes multiple times a day, until that really changes your identity.

And when your identity changes, guess what? Like your actions start to change more naturally. And I would love to hear some of your mindset techniques that you started to learn after your third child and that you teach to your clients. Cause my favorite is just developing like that personal wellness vision statement, reading it first thing in the morning and then having very specific processes around action items and then capturing your wins for the day. Cause I think women are so good at being in the gap.

going back to the gap in the game, like, I didn't get this done, I didn't get that done because our checklists are endless. And so if we're always focusing on what we didn't get done, we're not giving ourselves credit where credit is due because kids do not come out of the womb saying, thanks, mom. Like they come out of the room crying and demanding things and it takes them a very long time to learn that habit of gratitude. But man alive, it is a sacrificial thing that we're doing raising kids. So how do we...

Melissa Vogel (12:10)
I know.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (12:33)
develop mindset practices and what tools do we have, do you teach to help moms finally start to make their well-being a high priority?

Melissa Vogel (12:42)
Yeah. And well, and people have to know and be reminded that you have to put in the reps and just like, know, if you're going to grow like a muscle in order to grow that bicep, if you're curling, you know, your arm, that takes repetition over and over again. That muscle did not develop overnight. And it's the same exact thing with the mindset and shifting your identity and, and

being open to being someone different that takes reps to change it and tools to help you get there. Right? So if you're going to grow that muscle, you need a barbell, you need a band, you need a resistance band, you need your body weight, like all these tools. Right? And when you start off, it seems so impossible. And that's, and I just remind people you haven't put in enough reps yet. And sometimes it's because you don't even know where to start. You know, a lot of people don't even know.

How do I even start this journey? Or they're like, I'm a weekend. Why don't I feel different? Why isn't anything happening yet? And I'm like, well, what reps did you put in yet? You know, what have you done to create this change? Let's look at that. So that's why all the things that I'll talk about in lists that it's so important because you have to look at it as it's just a rep. I'm doing this to achieve my ultimate goal, right? It's like habits. That's all it is. It's just daily habits of things, but.

I like to look at it more like a physical, like this is a rep type thing. Cause then people are like, yeah, I'm just, I'm doing this over and over again. This is my rep and my, all my clients are always like, I did my, don't feel like it rep today. I showed up even though I don't feel like it, but remind yourself of that and be very, very gentle with yourself when you are trying to have that shift and discover that self love and that self worth that this will not happen overnight and you have to

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (14:34)
Mm-mm.

Melissa Vogel (14:36)
practice. Truly, you have to practice being, acting, thinking, feeling like someone else. And because if I snap my fingers and you were in a whole different body, right, or lived a whole different life, many people would sit there and go, not now what I, I don't even know how to walk around in a crop top or jean shorts, if that's your goal or a bathing suit. And I put you in on a beach in a bikini. You'd be like,

Where's my towel? Cover me up. Like, I don't even know how to be this person right now, right? And that's important to literally practice that. I have women that would never wear pants before, ever. Or I'm sorry, yeah, shorts. No, they never wear pants. Never put on pants before. Never wear shorts. And they had to slowly, slowly start.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (15:16)
Or do you mean shorts?

Okay, I'm like, well, I've heard of short jibber jabber bands.

Melissa Vogel (15:31)
letting that go where no I can wear some maybe they're just longer and then they get shorter and shorter and then my god I was in a bathing suit this year like never had I ever but that was practice I love taking my clients through when we onboard clients we spend a whole week on crafting your vision and like who you want to become and believe it or not that's really frustrating for some people

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (15:55)
It is. hard for some people because they're so used to seeing their current reality and they can't picture themselves any different.

Melissa Vogel (16:01)
Mm-hmm.

No, and people are in such a rush. We live in such an instant gratification world of like now. And they're like, I just want the secrets and the tools. Just tell me how to work out. Tell me what to do now. I don't want to do this vision board. I don't want to take a week of my life to see who I want to become. I just want to become her. And I'm like, that's the old you. That's the old you in your bus in the front seat driving it.

you know, and saying, come on, let's go, let's go, let's go. You need to take her out of the driver's seat, put her in the back, and we're going to work on the new you to get into the driver's seat. And she'll keep jumping those seats. She'll keep trying to get in to that driver's seat again. She'll just jump over one and then you have to constantly remove her because she's so strong, right? That identity and that old mom, that old you is so familiar. But that vision week is so important because we create a vision board.

and that is just for you. And it's so funny how sometimes I have to tell a mom to like, go back, try again, because they put like their kids on there or things for the family. And I'm like, no, this is just for you. We will do a dream board that will include your family and all that fun stuff. But right now, just you. And that's hard. That's so hard for women to be like, what, just me?

Well, my kids are part of me. I'm like, yes, they are, but you need an identity beyond them. And I have them put on their words, pictures. If they do a body or an image, it's always gotta be from behind. if you wanna do more yoga, great, find a picture of a woman doing yoga from behind. Because I don't want you to see someone else's face every day. I want you to see them. And then we have them put it up. Most of them put it in their bathroom.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (17:39)
interesting.

Melissa Vogel (17:53)
Because that's a place that we're there like twice a day, right? At least we're in there twice a day brushing our teeth or getting ready for the day or exiting and that's been a huge thing for women and when it gets old and I tell them it doesn't speak to you anymore, it's time to change it and it's okay to change it or women become that's the cool part is they achieve what they put on their vision board and I'm like

that's basically you. That is your life. It's time to up the game girl. Like who's your new, we call it your person B. Like who's your next person B. And then we're always taking, dry erase markers too. We're writing on the mirror. And again, I love dry erase marker because it's not there permanently. What are we focusing on today? What message do you need to speak to yourself today? What are you open to today? And that's what we're putting on vision board and seeing different words like that.

my God, I feel like I could just talk for hours on all the different ways.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (18:50)
There's so many different creative

ways to like, one of my roommates in PT school had a very positive self image and heard the backdrop of her computer was always some inspirational quote that she would kind of change out. So you can do that like with your computer backdrop, with your phone screen, post-its in the car. Like there's ways that you can reinforce this messaging. Like you can start in the bathroom and then you can take those reminders into the rest of your life too, which I think is cool.

Melissa Vogel (19:02)
Wow. Yeah.

Then I know it sounds cheesy. My kids, know, as soon as they had awareness, they were like, and even now my kids are like, my God, mom. And I'm like, girl, you've been grown up with me since you were a baby. Like, you know that we're going to do this. And even sometimes when my kids are like, they're having a hard day. My daughter was going into like a very important test and for like volleyball and stuff. And she just, but what if, but what if, all these fears were coming up. I said, when that happens,

I want you to write on your arm the word cancel. So when it comes up and you're there and you're dealing with it and your brain starts taking over and all those thoughts, I want you to look down and just like cancel, cancel those thoughts, take them out of there. I'm not doing that. my God, mom. And she's seen me write it before. And she came home and took off her sweatshirt. Sure enough, she had cancel written on the inside of her arm. I didn't say anything.

I just I didn't say see I knew you do it like I told you so I just left it there and but she had to remind herself and that was a good way of like just another tool of visualization to see that's right cancel shut that inner chatter down

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (20:13)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. I think that makes so much sense. So what if women like create a vision board, but then it creates too much of a gap? Like I'll never get there. That's not me.

Melissa Vogel (20:34)
Yeah, we've had that happen before a lot. people realize they, you know, if you have a woman that's over 200 pounds, right, and she's five foot five, and then she's putting this tiny little person on her vision board, she's like, that's who I want to become. That gap that happens so often. And, and that's why we take people through this. That's why I'm there. I need to see it. They need guidance. Eyeballs need to be on it.

because your brain will never believe it. That huge gap will create more, like you said, more problems than anything. And we have to realize too, that like, if you are built like a St. Bernard, you will never become a poodle. You can be a really fit St. Bernard, but you'll never be a poodle. And I'm five foot nine. I'm very broad up top. And that was, no one told me that. I was always trying to be the poodle. And I'm like, Melissa,

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (21:18)
Yeah.

Hmm.

Melissa Vogel (21:31)
You're not a poodle. You're like a German shepherd. You're not, you're, you're not that. Stop trying to be that. And I just would continuously put a poodle, this, this little chihuahua on my vision board. And that wasn't me. That is when you need to redirect yourself and you need to get closer to who you are to help your brain be open because you're right. You will get stuck and you'll never believe it. One of the biggest things that

I like to tell women it's not, want to lose weight or I want a million dollars or I will this it's I'm open to make it being open because you reading I'm open to living a healthier life way more powerful and I'll have much more impact than I will lose 30 pounds and being open. So when you're building your vision board, take that guidance of like, what are you open to?

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (22:10)
Hmm.

Yep.

Melissa Vogel (22:29)
What are you open to in this life? And that changed because then we had a lot more people putting on like, paths like this woman last month, she put on this path and she's, it was like down the forest road or whatever. And she's like, I'm open to walking more. I'm open to just being outside and walking more no matter what. Perfect. You don't even need a human.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (22:49)
Yeah, the language

tweaks are very important, know, and sometimes you have to like back off on the language a little bit instead of I'm a healthy person and act accordingly. It's again, like I'm open to being a healthy person or I'm working towards being a healthy person. So I do believe that's so important to highlight that sometimes vision boards can backfire if the vision isn't believable for your mind.

Melissa Vogel (23:09)
Yes.

Right.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (23:13)
For me, I'm like achiever and learner are my number one and two strengths, always and forever. And so I can be placed in the gap by myself so easily. So vision boards have never been great for me because it's a way that I always place myself in the gap. Like, well, you're not there yet, you're not there yet, you're not there yet. So what I did was something a little bit different. I just did a gratitude board. So on this wall that I see all the time, I just have pictures of my family, pictures of my best friends, and then like little prayer cards for everybody.

Melissa Vogel (23:23)
I'm

Aww.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (23:43)
And

that works better for me personally. So I think if somebody is listening to this and they're like, well, I've tried a vision board. It's like, try again. Maybe your vision board wasn't believable. Maybe a gratitude board would work better for your personality. But the point is to have positive inspirational messaging and pictures and things around you so that you're not just like turning on the news or scrolling through TikTok or Instagram and being messaged to. We want to create that ourselves.

Melissa Vogel (24:10)
Mm-hmm.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (24:13)
vision boards in the bathroom. love that idea. What are some other mindset tools that you give your clients and that you use yourself?

Melissa Vogel (24:20)
Automatic writing or you could just call it journaling. Like there's, sure there's a ton of verbiage for it. I have this journal and I keep next to my bed and it's, but it's not really a journal. It's kind of more like my manifestation book. And I take pen to paper every single night and I just let it flow. Sometimes if I feel blocked and I'm stuck, it can just be like, this is where I'm feeling stuck, whatever.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (24:23)
I'm telling you about that.

Melissa Vogel (24:49)
But the main point of that book and what I do most nights, cause I want to have a path for myself. Like I don't feel like doing this. So it's okay if I do this. I think it's always good to know that like you do have choices. You're never locked into one thing, no matter what we're discussing. But with this book, most nights, like 90 % of the time, I am just letting my pen flow to whatever topic it wants of how I want my life to look like.

I am laying in my bed and I'm overlooking the ocean and I have this amount of money flowing in. This is what my kids are doing. Like any topic. And I just go down to like what, what I want my driveway to look like, you know, to what type of refrigerator do I have now? How many moles do I have? Like everything exactly what I want my life to look like. And I speak it that pen to paper coming from your brain to paper is so

powerful. And then all of those thoughts that I have that I just came from my brain that I now put on paper, that is what I'm going to sleep to. That is my last thing. And I just fold it. I put it right on my nightstand. I don't get up and like turn on off light. have a little book light that clamps onto my book. So I don't have to get out of bed. Everything's very like from that to sleep. And that is what I go to sleep with. I can't tell you how many things I have.

created in my life that I like automatic journaled about and or had up on my vision board. But it's so easy. I've had a lot of women get stuck with journaling, like writing down their thoughts and feelings and the fear of like someone else reading it or God, well, if I start saying that and that becomes true or if they're really having a hard time in life, they're like, I don't want to say that out loud. I don't want to bring it to

life and if I put it on paper

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (26:43)
make sense,

right? It's kind in the dark of their soul, but if they ride it out, like it becomes more real and then they have to deal with it.

Melissa Vogel (26:46)
Yes.

Mm-hmm.

This type of writing, it just flows differently and it's okay that it doesn't exist yet, but it gets your mind and your body physically with the writing and the seeing, it's still a physical act. It gets it heading in the right direction. It's another tool for you to be going that way and to be heading in that direction and get you off the path. And I told him,

Like I tell my clients, like even if you feel like you're just full of shit, you're just writing things that are just like, I don't know how this could ever happen. It's okay. Just, just let it flow and let it come out. And it's become very fun for people. They're like, I actually look forward to doing this. It's really cool to craft my dreams and what I have here. And it's just there in my little book, no pressure. It just came out of my brain and my body to there. And then you can really.

then you can really dive into it more if you want. But it's a great way to just let it flow and really see what you want. A lot of people discover too, they're like, I had no idea I wanted this. I had no idea.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (27:55)
Yeah, I was gonna say new

thoughts come up when you're journaling that you just don't think about. It just taps into a different part of your brain. Like I always use journaling for the hard stuff. if I'm having a difficult time, if I feel like there's a mental block, I just write out very freestyle, kind of like what you were saying. This is how I'm feeling. This has been what's going on lately. And then always, always a new insight will come to me that didn't come to me before that I can't access.

Melissa Vogel (28:08)
Yes.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (28:22)
to just thinking about it because our thoughts are like on little loops, you know? And I think writing is a nice way to break up the loop of our current reality.

Melissa Vogel (28:29)
Yeah, well, when you're going through that hard time and you get it on paper and you get it all out, it's your failures, right? For me, I look back at old relationships or whatever what I was going through with my divorce and I read where I was and I'm like, my God. And I thought I was just in the pits of hell. You I was at the lowest of low of my life and I'm reading that going, I have really risen.

and rebuilt myself. And it's that's the only time it's okay to look back, right? That's the only time look back to be able to see how far you've come. And I'm so glad that I captured that pain. I truly am to be able to see like, wow, look at what you came from, girl. Like, look at what you did. And I used to read it and it'd be like embarrassing. Like I can't believe that that was my life. And

It helped me grow, but looking at that really helped me see like, no, that pain, that struggle got you to where you're at today.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (29:36)
it turned into a game. Like that's, think, yes, the reason to look back is to look at how far you've come essentially. So I love that. Okay. So we have the automatic journaling at night. Again, that auto suggestion, telling yourself who you want to be is most powerful, like right before bed and then right when you get up in the morning, vision boards. Are there any other favorite tools that you have to elevate your mindset?

Melissa Vogel (29:41)
in.

Okay, so if we're talking like weight loss and clothes and stuff like that, one of my favorite things is pulling out an outfit or even buying something that again, not far fetched, not like you're a size 18 and you pull a size two dress and out something realistic, something that's like tight right now that you just can't get those jeans on, but you know you could.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (30:14)
Yeah.

Melissa Vogel (30:30)
pull it out and clip them and hang them in your closet somewhere that you're going to see it. It's like a real life object vision board and focus on that of like, that is my goal. That is where I'm going to be. I will put those on and every now and then put them on and, and, and feel the struggle. No memorize like, yeah, I couldn't get them up past this, this far. I have done this with so many people with their own physical clothes and it is so cool to see them.

not be able to fit in anything still. And they're like, but I got it past my hips. And they're like.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (31:03)
Yeah, that's a good point. Again, looking

for the gain. It's like, okay, well, last time it got like two inches past my thigh and now it's halfway up my thigh.

Melissa Vogel (31:10)
Yes.

And they're like, I don't even care that they don't fit yet, but you don't understand. I couldn't get them past my thighs and now I've got to pass my hips. They're like, I can't button them at all, but they're excited. Right. And those wins that, that motivation, that like progress, like progress equals motivation. I think that's a Tony Robinson. That is not a Melissa Vogel thing, but like it's, it's so true. Like when you see a little bit of progress,

Boom, that motivates you. And that's what people are always asking too is like, how do you stay motivated? Find ways to help yourself experience progress. So anything physical that you can put out that is tangible, that you can touch, that you can feel, but it's not a trigger for you. It's gotta be something like, my God, I'm so excited. And I've put out dresses before for like a big event that's coming and I'm like, okay.

This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna be in that thing. I'm gonna put that on or even shoes. I've even done it with shoes. And I'm like, I don't know what kind of dress will go with this. That well after baby three, I'm like, my brain couldn't even comprehend being in a little black dress, you know, but I can put those heels out and we can be open to what goes on top.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (32:14)
Interesting. Okay, nice.

Yep.

Mine are my jeans. So I don't know if I have them anymore, but I had jean shorts from eighth grade. And those were always like my litmus test on how am I doing? And I don't know if I still have them, but I have other jean shorts that are now kind of the litmus test and then just jeans in general. So postpartum, I always have that goal. My babies were June, May, and then this one's going to be April. So it's kind of like by football season, I want to be able to fit into my jeans again.

Melissa Vogel (32:39)
This is fun how we have those.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (32:58)
And it's been, you know, it's happened the last two. So I think it'll happen for this one too. And I think let's talk about the timeline of goals too, because when we're talking about believability, I think one thing that we can adjust, it's a timeline. Like, well, do you believe that you can lose 50 pounds? I don't know. Well, how long are you telling your brain it's going to take you to lose the weight? Well, I'd like to lose a pound a week or maybe a pound and a half a week. And I'm like, yeah, that seems a little bit aggressive. Like I can see why you're having a hard time believing that goal.

Melissa Vogel (33:02)
Uh-huh.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (33:28)
But what if we extend the timeframe for that? Like what if you give yourself, do you think you could lose 50 pounds in two years? Well, yeah. So do you ever talk about timeline modifications with your clients and do have any tips for thinking about time regarding goals? Because so often like goals are supposed to be time-bound, which I think adds some pressure for some personality types like myself. So how do you work with your clients on time modification?

Melissa Vogel (33:49)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

when it comes to weight loss and that journey, we are constantly comparing it to the world we live in. Like I had mentioned instant gratification earlier, and we do that with our goals in our body. And then we are surrounded by things like, I don't know if you have them around you, they're like just rampant here, the camps, they're like called the camp and they're like these boot camps and it's six weeks.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (34:18)
No,

but we might. live in like rural Nebraska on a farm. I'm so far removed from civilization. I'm love it. me about these camps. Give me, give me the low down.

Melissa Vogel (34:26)
Girl, let me tell you about these camps. my God.

So there are six weeks, okay? And you join and you hold a sign and you take a picture like to start off to like mark your journey or whatever. And you pay a very large chunk of money. And if you hit your goal at the end, you get that chunk of money back or you can reinvest it into the next camp or series or whatever.

And the goal is usually like 30 pounds, 40 pounds. It's a big goal, like that you have to hit in six weeks. It's insane. get, I know, they give you a meal plan and it's mostly tilapia and like asparagus and very, know, these like meals. And then you go to their classes and every day at 5 a.m., you know, and stuff. you take this woman, right, who,

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (34:58)
my gosh, that gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

Melissa Vogel (35:19)
hasn't done anything, has these high hopes. She's got 30 pounds to lose, right? And you throw her into this camp and she's moving now, right? She probably was going from doing nothing to moving. Yes, she's going to lose weight. Duh. Like you go from stagnant to activity, you're going to lose weight. And now she's in a massive caloric deficit and eating the same thing every single day. Again, duh. In the beginning, you're going to lose weight, right? And then you see these people after

holding it up and I lost 30 pounds in six weeks. It is so wrong. And people have literally called me like Mrs. Fix It like for the camps and stuff because it messes with your head so much. You didn't learn anything. You were just told what to eat and then women get off of this and men, men do it too. And they're going, okay, well now what do I eat? I didn't.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (36:01)
That's funny.

Absolutely.

Now what? The diet's

over. I'm so glad the diet's over because I hated it, but now what?

Melissa Vogel (36:20)
Now

what? Most of them binge. Most of them go out and they binge. most people gain all that weight back, if not an extra 10 pounds after, and what they just did to their body. And again, there was no learning, right? That timeline that we're talking about, if you're, I'm just 160 pounds, you have to learn how to be 155. Then you have to learn to be 150.

10 pounds down is huge, especially for a female.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (36:54)
And especially like the last 10, 15, especially like the last 10 pounds, like that's really dialing things in. And you're right. Like it's, I think that you kind of are into like the vibrational frequency thing. Like there's a certain like set of habits and set of thoughts that you have to have to maintain a weight of 140 or 150 pounds and just physically manipulating your weight down there doesn't do enough to change here. So that.

Melissa Vogel (36:57)
Yes.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (37:24)
that body weight may have dropped, that mental set weight is still at 160 or 170 or 180. And you're always going to come back up to that mental set weight.

Melissa Vogel (37:32)
Yep.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And it messes with that timeline that 30 pounds, if they lost 30 pounds in my mind, that should have taken five months, you know, somewhere around there, months, not weeks to give yourself a chance to learn how to do it the right way. How does my body respond to this food?

You know, what works, what doesn't work? How can I eat and sustain that way of eating for the rest of my life?

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (38:08)
You've

got to sustain it. I'm like so many people put way too much emphasis on the weight loss and it's like you can lose weight and it's only different ways but there's only one way to lose it and keep it off and that's really to change your lifestyle which includes your mindset.

Melissa Vogel (38:20)
Yeah, yes. And collecting data. Like, I hate saying like counting calories, but I mean, if we're just being real, you need to know what's going into your body. You need to know what you're consuming versus what you're burning. And you don't have to get crazy with it. And you can keep it very simple, but big picture, we need to know what works because me consuming 2200 calories a day, I'm just throwing fake numbers out because people will write it down and be like, she said she eats 2200 today.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (38:47)
Yeah, right.

Yeah, she's also 5'9", and let's look at her age, like her activity level, all these things.

Melissa Vogel (38:54)
Right,

right. If I'm doing that at 222 a day and that works amazing for me, you know, up to a certain point and then I start packing it on, like I might need to cut back a little, but I learned that because of what I collected on myself and collecting data takes time. Knowing what works for you and what doesn't work for you, especially when we start throwing in our cycle with there.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (39:21)
Yeah.

Melissa Vogel (39:21)
and eating a certain way just before you have your period, huge, you know, and no one talks about that. You know, no one dives into the need of eating sweet potatoes before you menstruate. It does. And then you don't. Yes. And, and again, this takes time and I'm

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (39:34)
But it does make you feel a lot better. Just upping the carbs a little bit before your period.

Melissa Vogel (39:45)
constantly telling women and that's why when they when when I work with people it's not about like here's your meal plan and again that frustrates people they're like just tell me what to eat no you tell me what you eat you tell me and let's see

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (39:58)
Yeah, I like that. You tell me what you eat. Because you

can't just like minute like it's like, I'm not going to tell you to eat tilapia and vegetables because that's not sustainable for you. And we both know it. And it's a waste of your time. So what's it better? I love it. I love how you're talking about like it's data collection, guys, like, you got to run. I always say you got to run your life like you run a business and businesses require data to know where are we out on things. And, and I'm like the first person I hate tracking.

Melissa Vogel (40:22)
Yeah.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (40:26)
I think it's such a great tool, a great educational tool, but you don't have to do it forever once you learn. So what are some tips that you kind of have on like, do we get lean? How do we stay lean in a way that's really sustainable? That's not like this white-knuckling diet, know, camp approach.

Melissa Vogel (40:27)
I know.

Right, right.

Yeah, and that's how you have to look at it. Like, is this going to help me lean out or is this just super healthy? Because I used to eat super healthy. I, my mom was very way ahead of her time. Like I knew about hormones and like GMOs. Like I knew about that when I was like 10. I just, I was blessed. I had a lot of knowledge even as a kid watching my mom do this and stuff. And I ate super healthy. And then I had to learn after my last kid, I was like,

that's not gonna get me lean. That's not gonna grow muscle. And what I mean was like a perfect example, okay? When I would eat a healthy lunch with my kids, I mean, you better believe that that bread was organic and it was pure and my turkey had no nitrates in it. My romaine lettuce on it was organic. My mayo was organic. My chips, know, cause that's what I'd had. I've had this big turkey sandwich every day. I'd have like these organic chips.

fruit. I'd have fruit on the side and that was a typical lunch, right? In the middle of the day. That was super healthy. That meal sounds really healthy, right? Well, now my typical lunch will be an Unwich, which is massive butter lettuce with still good clean mayo, but I prefer mustard now.

and with feta cheese on it and pickles and that sucker is so freaking big. I can't even open my mouth to eat it. And I'm eating massive food, like good, a good amount of food to help me feel full at a lesser caloric intake, but I'm still getting my carbs and my fat and my protein. And when I started to learn this, like, how do I eat and build muscle, but don't starve myself? I don't want to be starving. And can I...

keep doing this? And the answer was yes, because when I'm taking out the bread and the carb that, which again, carbs are not bad. We need carbs to live. That is our brain power. We need them to live life. But the timing of it and when I was eating it and how much I ate it was huge and learning that. And I learned like, I can still eat all that, like the cheese and put that on it.

had a lesser caloric rate because I'm taking out and swapping for other things. And now my fruit, I love, I love my berries. I love my strawberries and my blueberries. I'm always sticking to berries and I try and time it with post-workout. So after I work out, I go home and I consume a little bit more sugar and it's helping with the glycogen in my muscles and it's going right to that place. Or if I do want a carb or I do want that bread or rice, I'm eating it immediately after a workout. So

Eating to be lean just means to be eating smarter, paying attention to certain things. How can I eat? Like when I have spaghetti night, this is a very big staple for bomb moms. Our spaghetti night, instead of having the pasta, we all steam broccoli or some type of veggie and we put that as our base with our meat and marinara and feta and sea salt all on the top. And you're just swapping things. You're not making a whole nother meal for yourself while your family's eating spaghetti. You're just

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (43:40)
Yeah.

Great.

Melissa Vogel (44:06)
eating a little bit different and being a little bit smarter of how you do it. That's how you start cracking the code on your body. That's how you start saving in certain areas, but you're not starving.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (44:17)
No, because what you're swapping out, know, more refined carbs, even if they're organic, even if they're clean, you're getting from, you know, fibrous vegetables, for example, that have a lot more phytonutrients, like vitamins, minerals, phytochemicals, more fiber. I mean, we eat very similarly, it sounds like. And like for spaghetti, I love spaghetti squash. A little tip for anybody who cares for that and then butternut squash is to microwave it for a couple of minutes.

Melissa Vogel (44:31)
Yeah.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (44:46)
Well, this is more butternut squash, guess, because spaghetti squash, you just cut it. But if you want it easier to cut, you can microwave it. But butternut squash especially, microwave it for a few minutes after you poke it. And then it's so much easier to like cut up and peel and whatnot. But there are such simple swaps that are higher in protein, lower in the refined carbohydrates. And then you're spot on and I'm like timing the carbohydrates around your workout. I wear a continuous glucose monitor.

Melissa Vogel (44:50)
Yes.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (45:13)
And two days ago, I had an apple and peanut butter right before my workout and my blood sugar maybe got into like, it was less than 110, maybe 105. Then yesterday I had the same snack, but then I sat on the couch and watched TV and then it went up to 116, right? Like if you're having carbs, having them right after the workout, some people like before that's going to allow your muscles to use the glucose. So it's not just like hanging out in your bloodstream. So great tips. I love all of these.

I know that you have a more robust program opening up again soon. Do you want to talk about that for a little bit and tell people how they can learn more about you?

Melissa Vogel (45:49)
Yeah, yeah, the program is busy to bomb fit mom. And my website where you can go and get all information, even book a call, I'll do like a 10 minute 15 minute discovery call with people to help them like just ask questions and see if this is even a fit because it's it's not a fit for everyone. It's www.it'smelissavogelfitness.com. And you can go there and get all the information but busy to bomb fit mom is a full program. We onboard people and we're onboarding

soon having a new onboarding group, we onboard people for an entire month before you even start the program. And I always say it's like you build a car before you enter the race. So we help them build their car before we put them in there with all the other women. And we drop in mentors in their onboarding group and everything to help get them more comfortable. But we take them through the four pillars, which is vision and knowing your why, nutrition.

mindset and then actual physical training exercise. And we take a week and really learn like how are we going to make adjustments? This is what we're opening your mind up to. This is how you're going to get prepared. These are the changes you're going to make with your nutrition. And then once you've fully completed that and you're feeling comfortable, women are like, let me in instead of going, my God, I'm so scared. When are we starting? They're going.

let me in. And then we put them in, say, we're like, now you're swimming with the sharks. Now you're going in and you're swimming with the sharks because we call the groups, the sit group. It's sharks in training. Sharks is my mascot for the group and they go into the main group and we are focusing completely on building that mindset, working through the challenges that are throwing at you while lifting weights, while making physical changes.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (47:10)
Yeah.

Melissa Vogel (47:34)
And it's crazy how often you get like off track and we're there to pick you up and get you right back on because that's how it all happens. One kid gets sick, the whole house gets the flu. Someone gets lice or pink eye. Yes.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (47:49)
Yeah, life happens, right? But we have to learn how to pivot and

adjust and come back to our, like, it's almost like you have to create a new center. Like you do. It's that new identity, that new center that's just like, no matter what's going on externally, I'm going to make my well-being a priority.

Melissa Vogel (47:56)
You do.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. And you don't have to do it alone. And that's why I created this was because that's really hard to do. And I'm in there training every day. Like you, they see me live every day in my car, in the grocery store, in my bedroom crying. Like, like I, I show them the real struggles that I go through in life, which really helps them see like, Hey, if she can do it, I can do it. If she's going through a hard time and still made it to the gym, like I know

I can do that. We're very real and very raw. But our success rate is through the roof and women get in there and they change and they create and they learn this new identity. And then they go on to the next phase that could take months and that could take years. And I love it. That's why we have like the OGs. We have women in the program that have been there for two or three years and women that have been there for two or three months.

and they help each other grow. So yeah, you can get all the information there. We have a new onboarding group opening up and we don't onboard every month. We make sure that we have the right people, that the group is ready, everything's flowing and then we open it and put them in and keep growing.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (49:17)
That's awesome. Well, big kudos to you. think when we were talking earlier about like spaghetti and stuff, it just made me think about my kids and you know, what a great example that we're able to set for our kids. We send our kids with their own lunch every day. And my son recently told me, he's like, you know, my other friends look at my food and they're like, you that doesn't look good. And I'm like, well, it's healthy and you like it. And that's what's important. So really helping our like

Melissa Vogel (49:24)
you

you

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (49:45)
reinforcing to ourself that like, it's okay if your choices look different than your friend choices, than your family member choices. We have to develop that own personal self-esteem and self-confidence that we can do it even if other people aren't. And I think starting a new program like yours, or we just wrapped up enrollment for our Zibli program, that's really important just to like be your own biggest cheerleader. It's okay if not everybody in your life is doing the same thing. Like you get to be like,

the leader in the group. And I think that's so cool to see like what a healthy woman can inspire in her family and her her community. So kudos to you for just how you're living your life and what you're doing to help women.

Melissa Vogel (50:20)
Mm-hmm.

Thank you. Yeah, that's that's a whole other podcast that we could talk about is outside influences and you growing and changing That's hilarious that you say that about your child and their lunch because I do the same thing They have like the stainless steel box and I my daughter took these like power curl puffs today with like Himalayan salt and she's like everyone's gonna ask me what those are mom and then they're gonna try it and then they're all gonna want one

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (50:35)
yeah.

I know. that's the thing. It's like healthy food tastes really good and it's so good for our kids. And I think that's one of the best things we did for them was start them on real food as soon as possible. Like we didn't do baby food, starting out, but like as soon as we could, they were eating real food and that my mom got me like a food grinder. She's like, this is what we did for you. And I was a kid and I'm like, thanks mom. Like, but then we actually did use it and found it very helpful. So it's good. Yeah.

Melissa Vogel (51:05)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love that. Yeah, that

that be those beginning years like my kids have never even had pop before. Like

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (51:23)
I'm either. or video like mine haven't played video games yet. But a friend over and they're like, you haven't played a video game yet. You guys don't have iPads. I'm like, no. Yeah, it's just, they don't need that stuff yet. There's enough screen time as is there's enough unhealthy food as is and there's so many different challenges that moms face raising kids in a sugar laden society, which again would be another show anyways.

Melissa Vogel (51:25)
Don't ever do it.

No.

I know.

I know.

Morgan Nolte, PT, DPT (51:48)
I know you got to wrap it up, but here I am opening up another can of worms. Thank you

so much, Melissa, for being here. I really appreciated your time and expertise.

Melissa Vogel (51:55)
Thank you so much for having me this this was amazing