Honour and Shame

August 31, 2025 sermon at Ascension Lutheran Church, Montreal, QC by Rev. Charles St-Onge. Text: Luke 14:1-14 and Proverbs 25:2-10. 

Transcript

How do you get from here – “It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out” (Proverbs 25:2, ESV) – to here – “What your eyes have seen do not hastily bring into court, for what will you do in the end, when your neighbor puts you to shame?  Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another’s secret, lest he who hears you bring shame upon you, and your ill repute have no end” (Proverbs 25:7–10, ESV)?

If you understand what the writer of the Proverbs means, that you’ll understand what Jesus is driving at in the parable of the wedding banquet. Every culture on earth, you see, and every person within those cultures, is driven predominately by one of three worries: guilt, fear and shame. I say predominantly, because all three play some part in what we do and how we act. But each culture has one predominant driver, and most people in that culture feel it in their everyday lives.

We come from many cultures at Ascension, all melting into (at least in theory) this one culture we call Quebec. Quebec is a western culture, driven mostly by guilt. Quebecers are most concerned about doing something wrong, especially something against the law, and the consequence to us, our finances, and our time if we’re caught. We are the kinds of people who justify our actions by saying “what I didn’t wasn’t illegal. I followed the rules.” The rest of Canada, the United States, Europe and Australia are driven mostly by guilt. 

Africa and Asia, on the other hand, are strongly influenced by shame. What motivates someone is not just whether something is illegal, but whether it hurts the family, tribe or community. “What will the neighbours think?” is the most important consideration in a shame culture. People are very often non-confrontational in shame-based cultures. Telling someone they are wrong makes sense if we are driven by guilt and innocence, but it only brings shame on someone even if we are right! English-Canada used to be much more shame-based than Quebec or the United States. 

Most cultures throughout history have been driven by shame, not by guilt. Consider the time of our Lord Jesus. There was nothing worse than to be shamed or to bring shame on your family. Life was about seeking honour. 

Which brings us to Jesus’ parable about the wedding feast. “When you are invited… do not sit down in a place of honor, lest someone more distinguished than you be invited by him,  and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this person,’ and then you will begin with shame to take the lowest place.  But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher.’ Then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at table with you.  For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who himself will be exalted.” (Luke 14:7–11, ESV)

Even in a culture driven more by guilt, we want to be honoured. We want respect, just like Rodney Dangerfield. ILLUS: In one of my video games, characters greet you depending on how likable and trustworthy a person you are. It’s more fun to have someone say, “What an honour to meet you!” than to hear “Oh. It’s you. Hi.” 

So we go out into the world seeking honour. Maybe by getting a promotion at work. Maybe by finding  a husband or wife that will praise you. Maybe by getting good grades at school. Or getting the most likes on your Instagram post. Or having your video go viral on TikTok. Soon we find ourselves seeking those honours, craving them. 

Narcissists need that honour or they simply cease to function, so they arrange their lives around being constantly praised and adulated. If we are honest, deep down, there’s a little narcissist in all of us. The world cannot honour us enough. This shouldn’t surprise us. As Deb quoted to me this week, “Too many seek validation from a world that crucified a perfect man.”

So we go through life seeking honour, chasing the best seat at the wedding, but too often ending up feeling shame. We’ve let our parents down. We’ve let our kids down. We’ve let ourselves down. Who can rescue us from this shame-blame game? 

Not the world! The world will seek out your shame – it’s designed to do so. Kings and courts, police and investigators, aren’t in the business of finding ways to praise you. You accuse someone of a crime, and the next thing you know, the defense attorney is grilling you about something you said or did twenty years ago. The glory – the salvation! – of the world is uncovering the truth. Which is often ugly and shameful. 

What if we stop chasing honour from the world, and let Jesus give it to us instead? “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Jesus assumed our greatest shame - our failure to love God and love one another – and wore that shame on a bloody executioner’s cross. God did that, for you! 

What did he have to be ashamed of? Nothing! But he wore our shame in place of his divine honour. As one singer, Nicole Nordman, put it, “You came and chose to wear the skin of all of us / and it’s easy to forget you left a throne.” He exchanged the honour due him as Lord for the shame that we all carry around of having failed to be truly human, as God intended.

The mystery of salvation is that Jesus takes our shame and replaces it with his honour! He gives us an honour we don’t deserve, to be called Children of God. He takes our shameful rags and gives us a splendid wedding garment. He finds us sneaking a peak into the divine banquet hall and says, “_____! Come up here! I’ve got a place for you at my side.” Me? you think? Yes, you! he says. 

The Lord’s glory – the Lord’s salvation, because the two are synonyms – is to cover your sin and my sin, your shame and my shame, with the blood of his Son. The world sends you to the back of the hall. The Lord invites you to give him your shame, so he can give you the place of honour at his table.

Which brings us back to our opening verse from Proverbs: It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out. (Proverbs 25:2, ESV). Now do you understand? Kings and those who have been given earthly authority by the Lord (John 19:11) seek out hidden thingsm even shameful things, and bring them to light. The Lord hides our shame for the sake of Jesus, so that he can give us places of honour at his eternal wedding feast. 

Many still would rather seek the world’s praise and adulation. What a rat race. I assume you are here because you know that race ends up nowhere. Come then. Sit up close. Your Lord invites you into his presence. He covers your shame. He gives you honour. For that is the glory – the salvation - of God. Amen.