Free the Ducks: The Balance between Organization and Freedom

Ever feel like you're constantly trying to get your ducks in a row before you take on any task or project? What if I told you that this relentless pursuit of perfect organization might be adding more pressure and overwhelm to your life rather than creating the sense of order you crave? It's time to challenge this notion and consider whether your ducks might actually prefer a little chaos.

Join me as I share my own journey of battling with this feeling of needing to have everything perfectly in line before I can embark on something new. Through personal anecdotes like the production of this very podcast, I highlight the difference between being organized for the sake of freedom versus being organized because it's considered the "right" thing to do. 

Let's find a balance between structure and freedom, and understand when the pressure we put on ourselves is actually self-inflicted. So, do your ducks really need to be in a row, or is it time to let them be free, wild, and wonderfully chaotic? Let's find out together.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to the Overwhelming's optional podcast where, each week, we find ways to gently rebel against the nonsense that overwhelming exhaustion are just the price you pay to have the life you want. Who says ducks like being in a row? What is it about this constant need to get our ducks in a row Until we've got things sorted? we can't do this. Have this be this experience, this? What's it all about?

Speaker 1: 0:30

Well, i did Google the expression ducks in a row, but I didn't find anything particularly interesting about it. There doesn't seem to be one place it comes from, but it's a really common feeling theme at least it is for me this feeling that when I've got things organised, when I know exactly what I'm doing, when I've got a clear, foolproof plan, then I can begin, and this can lead me to not doing something that I really, really want to do. And then I feel frustrated, dissatisfied, and then I'm likely to start beating myself up or, in my case, hearing the beating myself up of. We should have done this by now. We should have achieved this by now. Why haven't we started this by now? And in the past, that would have left me feeling like there was something majorly wrong, which I then needed to work on. So I might have gone down there. Well, if I got more organised, then that would solve this problem. If I have more courage, if I didn't procrastinate. Not so much if I wasn't lazy I don't really think that laziness has been something I would accuse myself of, but there is or there was at least, particularly in the past this feeling that I should be doing more, i should be better, that not being enough thing.

Speaker 1: 1:56

So I just want to throw at you this week this idea that your ducks don't need to be in a row And that if you're spending a lot of energy, time and energy on lining up your ducks so that you can do, be, have something, it might be worth considering that your ducks don't even like being in rows. I'm not actually the kind of person who likes to have everything super organised, but that doesn't mean that I don't still go down that kind of hole of energy where I'm trying to get my ducks in a row. So it's worth noticing what works for you. Some people absolutely love having all the ducks in a row and that seems to work for them. If that's you, then you're probably not overwhelmed because your systems are working for you. But if you're somebody who thinks that their ducks ought to be in a row, and it's that's taking your time and energy. That's one of the things that's adding to the pressure and overwhelm. This episode is definitely for you.

Speaker 1: 3:01

This question do your ducks need to be in a row? Do your ducks even like being in a row, or are they gently rebellious ducks? Because mine are. But that doesn't mean that this theme doesn't keep coming back for me. So I was first looking at this theme.

Speaker 1: 3:17

This came up in a coaching session I was having nearly a year ago And I remember at the time thinking or saying out loud oh, my ducks don't need to be in a row, i can just start anyway, and it was a big realization. But here I am, eight or nine months later, still realizing that very often I'm still trying to line my ducks up. So I'll give you an example. Let's use this podcast as an example. In my mind, it can always be better. It can always reach more people, it can always look more professional. Now, that is always going to be true, because things can always be better.

Speaker 1: 3:56

But if that stops me sharing things like last week's episode, i shared with you a brand new, tiny, huge practice. Tiny, huge life changing practice, thank you, only tested by me, but I shared it anyway. Now, if I'd had had my ducks in a row, i would have not shared that with you for maybe six months, because I would have tested it on my clients and I would have blogged about it, written about it, talked about it a lot and then shared it with you. But if I'm just going to live wholeheartedly with courage, i have to let go of that need to be perfect. I have to let go of that need to have everything organised.

Speaker 1: 4:42

Another thing with this podcast would be the idea of having episodes that work really well together in a row. Now, i like doing that and there were a few episodes back where I've done six episodes all about how you can use the one-minute mark in lots of different ways, because it is my main tiny, huge, live-changing practice and it still blows me away how useful it is and how much I can use it in different ways and I can bend it and change it for my clients and it works for them. So for me, having a series of episodes that made sense, but I did that with ease. I didn't do that the getting ducks in the row very constrained way. First I did that in a oh, i've got all this stuff I want to share, trying to cram it into one episode, which would have gone for ages, and then saying, oh well, that's lots of episodes, so let's just split them up and make them really short, because then they're easier to digest, easier to use, because we want to make everything easier and that's how that happened. That wasn't on purpose. So I didn't sit down and think right, how can I make my podcast look super professional this month by having all my ducks in a row like a themed month?

Speaker 1: 5:59

I have done that before and I found it really, really hard work. It doesn't mean that the end result wasn't good, it just means it was harder for me, and I don't want things to be harder for me. I don't want to put pressure on myself. I don't know about you, but actually the older I get and the more I do this I refuse to. You know, i just don't do pressure, i just don't do overwhelm. The more I gently rebel against that, the more I realise that actually a lot of the overwhelm pressure is coming from myself, And trying to have my ducks in a row is one of the ways that I know, for me, i tend to add to the pressure.

Speaker 1: 6:37

Now, this is a tricky one, isn't it? because I like to be organised in a way that allows me to not have chaos. Because being organised in a way that frees my mind, that takes the pressure off, takes the overwhelm off, is a very good thing. But if I'm trying really hard to control things by lining up ducks that just want to fly around and be rebellious, that's not a very good thing and that's the difference. So when I'm saying to you who says ducks need to be in a row, do your ducks what you want to be in a row. It's an invitation to examine the kind of pressure that you're putting yourself under. So there's being organised for organised state sake, for being organised sake, because we think it's a good thing, and there's being organised because it gives us freedom. So it's back to this, then beautiful, zen thing of structure versus freedom. When we have structure set up that serve us, we can then have more freedom. But if we have structures that we're doing because we think we ought to, or we're frightened that if we didn't maintain them, everything would fall to pieces and we wouldn't cope with our lives, that's pressure. But it's up to you, obviously, to decide whether how you want to arrange your ducks, how you want to have your pressure.

Speaker 1: 8:02

Personally, i don't work well under pressure. Some people say they need a deadline. I kind of get that, but for me I'm not going to have a deadline that feels pressured. I need a deadline that feels supportive. For me it's a feeling, because when I feel pressured I feel overwhelmed, i feel out of my comfort zone, into the fear zone, and I can't think clearly And it's not good for my energy, my happiness, my state of being. It doesn't help me get into a state of flow. So do your ducks want to be in a row or is it time to let them swim around, fly around and do whatever they want? You decide, obviously. Thank you so much for being part of this podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, please do take a little moment of your time to share it, like it, etc. To help other people find it. And if you'd like to know more about my work, please go to wwwtidymarkcouk.