Overwhelm is Optional
- This is the podcast for big-hearted, highly driven professionals who want their life back.
- Each week, we explore ways to gently rebel against the idea that overwhelm and exhaustion are just the price you pay for success. You don’t have to push through—it’s time to work with ease, reclaim your energy, and create the life you want.
- 💡 Meet Heidi Marke
I’m Heidi, a Coach, Teacher, Podcaster, and Author. Having painfully burned out—losing my career, confidence, health, and financial stability—I discovered a better way. Now, I quietly lead The Gentle Rebellion, helping you to:- Stop pushing through overwhelm.
- Redefine success on your own terms.
- Reclaim your time, energy, and life.
Thank you to purpleplanet.com for the music.
Overwhelm is Optional
Finding freedom from self-imposed seasonal pressures
As autumn arrives, do you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by self-imposed expectations to stay productive, organised, or ahead of the game? In this episode, I explore how the seasonal shift can amplify internal pressures—and how to gently rebel against them.
Learn how to embrace the natural rhythms of autumn, release unnecessary expectations, and find a deeper sense of ease and freedom as the season changes.
🎙️ Welcome to Overwhelm is Optional
This podcast was created to help big-hearted, driven professionals break free from overwhelm and experience more clarity, ease, and joy.
But here’s the exciting news… I’ve moved beyond overwhelm.
If you’ve been listening and resonating with this message, you’ll love what comes next.
I’ve created a new podcast: Deep Heartfelt Success—because success should feel as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
🎙 Join me there → Search "Deep Heartfelt Success" on your favourite podcast platform and subscribe.
💡 Experience Deep Heartfelt Success for Yourself
Book a complimentary Deep Heartfelt Success Session—a no-pressure, transformative conversation designed to help you step into your next level of success with ease.
📅 Book here
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A simple, powerful way to stay focused on what matters most.
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🌍 Website:
Explore practical tools, resources, and ways to work with me.
👉 Visit here www.heidimarke.co.uk
🎧 Free Audio: The One Minute Marke
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Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is optional. Hello, hello, hello. How are you doing? I'm feeling under the weather and I'm not happy about it, which is ridiculous. So not only am I feeling under the weather, but I'm also adding to my pressure by judging myself for feeling under the weather, by being immensely frustrated with myself for feeling under the weather, as if how dare I ever feel slightly unwell? I should know better. I should look after myself better. I should have the power to prevent myself feeling under the weather. Oh, my goodness. So I've noticed this overwhelm of bombardment, of shoulda, woulda, couldas about health and, this time of year, loads of stuff going on. So see if any of this resonates with you, see if you can catch and release some of this with me.
Speaker 1:So the time of year, so it's November. In the southwest of England it's damp and soggy and grey. I've just made myself go out for a walk. I wanted to go out for a walk, so that's an interesting thing. I've made myself go out for a walk, which is an interesting one. I wanted to go out for a walk, but I also wanted to get some stuff done, like recording this podcast, podcast, and the two things felt very conflicting, and so part of my brain is going. But you'll feel better if you go out for a walk and then part of me is going. But you'll feel better if you just record the podcast, because there's satisfaction in the work and then there's feeling better because walking I find the best thing for my body ever.
Speaker 1:And also I was aware of the fact that if I went outside I might discover a different truth than the one I'm pressuring myself with, which was this I've noticed myself going into the well, it's November, it's damp, the clocks have changed, which always messes me up, it's dark, there's not enough daylight, so I never feel good in this weather. I really need sunshine. If only I could go somewhere sunny. Oh, but that's not right, because really I should be appreciative of this, because it's autumn and there are things I love about autumn and I should be grateful. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And what I should be noticing, the unexpectedly lovely things about autumn, like lighting the fire, having hot chocolate, getting to cosy up with the dogs on the settee and watch TV, just like there's a lot of weight there none of it feels very joyful. All of it feels judgmental and bossy at the moment. So it's not that. None of those things are true. So it is true that I find this time of year challenging. It's also true that I've practiced gratitude and noticing the good things. All of that's true. But none of that matters if I'm feeling the weight of shoulda, woulda, couldas, if I'm bombarding myself and feeling overwhelmed and judging myself. It's unhelpful.
Speaker 1:Eventually I stopped listening to the nonsense and just went for a spontaneous, very fast walk, and that was nice, although it was interesting because I've got three cavaliers, and part of the reason it's not always easy to take a spontaneous walk is they all want to go and if you take all of them it's chaos because Nutmeg's hypersensitive and starts yapping, which sets off Ruby and I don't want Ruby to be as noisy as Nutmeg is sometimes and also Rosie's nearly 11. She's like why are we? Why, what's the rush? What's going on here? There's stuff to sniff. I don't understand. Why are we? Why? What's the rush? What's going on here? There's stuff to sniff. I don't understand. Why are we rushing? So it doesn't work very well. It's much better to take one or two dogs.
Speaker 1:Usually I take Rosie calm with Ruby Roo the puppy, so that she gets the Rosie calm, and that works really well. Then I take Nutmeg separately and she gets to do her practicing, enjoying, being calm. But today I thought I'd just take Rosie. I just thought it'd be nice quality time with my old lady dog. But that didn't work because for some reason Rosie started talking all the way down the road Like she was going but where's Ruby? Where's Ruby? Where's Ruby? Why am I on my own? I don't want to be on my own. Where's the other dogs? It was weird.
Speaker 1:Anyway, the good thing about it was, first of all, I got something done and I sometimes think I just getting one small thing done In fact not sometimes think I know and need to remind myself that sometimes just getting one thing done off a list, that's a very unimportant thing, can make a huge difference to getting momentum. Unimportant thing can make a huge difference to getting momentum. So I took the bag of clothes for the charity box thing down the road down with me. Oh, it felt so good. It's bizarre. Why. Why such a small thing? Right, it's not a big deal. Okay, the bag was in the hall. Our hall is tiny because it's very old cottage so there's lots of knock on effects Just that action of, because it had been nagging at me all week just drop the box off, just drop the bag off. Just drop the bag off. Just mind, please shut up. I know it needs doing. It's written down. It's written down everywhere.
Speaker 1:So I went for a walk and I feel better for going for a walk, because I actually discovered that the weather, not the weather, the weather's the same, not much daylight, like soggy water held in the air. But I didn't wear a coat. That was a rebellious act. I'm like no, it's not raining, it's quite warm. I refuse to wrap up warm as if it's worse weather than it is. I'm going to embrace the fact that it's actually okay with a jumper on. That's funny in itself, isn't it? Such a small act of rebellion. But it felt good and I actually feel like today, the Tupperware lid. You know, when you've just got that weather where it's like somebody's put a lid on the sky, I feel like somebody's lifted the corner off it and lifted it up a bit. It did feel like it was a little bit more daylight. So part of this was a okay, so I can.
Speaker 1:I'm noticing in my head that I'm finding evidence for the truth that I don't really like this time of year. So what if I went outside and found evidence for that not being true? So I did, partly deliberately, go outside to go. Well, I think it's great. Well, if it's not as great outside as in, because the thing is, with a beautiful cottage, the windows are small, so you don't get that much daylight necessarily, and in general that's true. Right, because apparently I was looking at you know you get those lamps for daylight, lamps for winter, to make yourself feel better. So I was looking at those. They seem very bright and glary and I'm not entirely convinced I want one. But anyway, the Apparently, even on a gloomy day, outside is like a gazillion times lighter than inside, which is interesting. So actually going outside, even on a dull day, is probably going to raise my spirits.
Speaker 1:I'm not entirely convinced of this, I have to say. I go outside every day because I go into my garden every day. I went outside yesterday I went to a shop. I'm not entirely convinced. Sometimes I go outside I'm like, yeah, I was right, it's really gloomy, I don't want to go out there, I just want to go inside. It's really nice and cozy in my cottage. I'm going to do this instead. It's not necessarily true. Anyway, it's worth an attempt, because how I look at it affects so deeply how I feel, and this time, going outside, it cheered me up. It was a short walk, I achieved something that was helpful, and I bumped into a neighbour and she was exactly the same. Oh my goodness, I wish this weather would just lift. So it wasn't just me that made me feel better Solidarity. It's not just me who's feeling a bit gloomy. That was really good.
Speaker 1:Then we got ranting about the clocks changing. Why do the clocks change? Why? Why do we change the clocks? It makes no sense. I'm sure there was a reason once. There's no reason anymore doesn't make any sense to me. Messes everybody up everybody's grumpy about the clocks changing. I don't know anybody who's happy about the clocks changing. We had friends staying when the clock's changing and they were like oh oh, this is really good.
Speaker 1:You get an extra hour in bed, but you don't if you're older. I mean, I did when I was younger because I would just sleep on through. It doesn't work anymore, because I wake up early regardless, and now the earlier is even earlier, so it's really unhelpful. All that's actually happened is I'm going to bed earlier, a ridiculous time. Not that it matters. It's dark, nobody cares. My children are grown, it doesn't really affect me.
Speaker 1:I don't go out to work. I obviously work for myself, so I can start work whenever I want Makes no difference. I'm in general, writing or thinking. Creating early in the morning anyway Doesn't make that much difference. Why am I ranting about the clocks? I don't know. It just seems to have added to my general feeling of urness. You know that? Just low energy.
Speaker 1:And then I started to notice that I'm starting to wish the time away. Now that that's worth picking up on, because I really don't believe in wishing time away. I just don't. That's not serving me, that's not working for me, because at the same time as wishing time away, this is my time for writing my book, which I am writing, but obviously isn't happening as fast as an impatient person like me would want it to. So that's no good. So I need to do something about this.
Speaker 1:So this is what the podcast is about. How I'm looking at things is deeply affecting my experience of day-to-day life at the moment and noticing and catching the fact that I am overwhelming myself with unhelpful thoughts about my health, about the time of year, about what I need to happen in order for me to feel somewhere else for the winter so I have sun all year. I don't believe any of that's true. I also don't believe in waiting to feel better. I believe that every moment there is a way to feel better, and mostly that's just from noticing how I'm talking to myself, how I'm feeling, and accepting both how I'm feeling and then noticing the pile of rubbish I'm putting on top of that, which is the overwhelm. So this is what I've noticed I'm clogging my brain with pressure about how I should be more appreciative of this time of year, how I should look after my health better so that I never feel unwell and I'm not really ill. That's the thing. I'm just under the weather. So I've got that. You know.
Speaker 1:You know when you have that like flu-y head and absolutely wiped out, so you're just struggling to stay awake after 7pm and snotty nose, sneezy, but not a proper full blown cold, you know, and you can just hang around in that pre-cold place for a while, which I've been doing on and off. And then some days I'm like oh see, it wasn't a cold, I fought it off. And other days, well, to be fair, yesterday I woke up and it floored me. I was so exhausted so I rearranged my appointments and rested, and it was the best thing for me to do. I accepted the fact that, yeah, I'm feeling under the weather and I get to rest because I've deliberately set my life up so there is space for me to be ill, because sometimes we don't feel 100% and that's just the way things are, and it's not because we've done something wrong, because I value my health and I practice exploring the mind-body connection.
Speaker 1:I am aware that I also put pressure on myself to somehow always have it sussed, to somehow just prevent myself getting sick or having low energy, like I should know better. There's a lot of judgment there. I should know better. I should prevent this by always eating nourishing lunches, which I don't always, I've noticed. I mean and that's another thing, isn't it? What do I mean by nourishing lunch? So what I'm saying is I could eat a more nourishing lunch if I was more organized. And what tends to happen is because I get really excited about my work and then I suddenly realise I'm hungry. I'm like, well, I should have some lunch, and then it's too late to do something more nourishing. It just feels harder. The truth is, I don't want to be thinking about food when I'm in the flow of work. So what would be better? So I stopped myself saying what I should do. What would be better is if I do what my partner does and what I used to do when I used to go out to work, which is pre-plan my lunches because you have to, because you've got to take them with you.
Speaker 1:Somehow, in my ridiculously high expectations of myself, I have this nonsense that because I'm working for myself at home, I will find space in the day to wander around in a relaxed fashion and cook up really nourishing winter meals. That's not going to happen. I don't work that way. I'm very driven and very intense when I'm focused, and switching to oh, nourishing meal planning. That just doesn't work for me. It's got to be thought out. Before.
Speaker 1:So, funnily enough, I had this craving for deviled eggs. Now, deviled eggs are delicious, but seriously, the time put into preparing them versus the fact they take like 30 seconds to eat because they're small and so delicious, it's just madness. So was it ever going to happen? So it just went on my list. Make devils eggs, make devils eggs, because I thought that would lift me.
Speaker 1:It's an odd thing to eat in the winter, though, because it's cold and because I used to work in an acupuncture clinic, I'm really aware of the whole. No, you should eat warm foods in the winter and cold foods in the summer. But I really fancy deviled eggs. So in the end I did make some, took some effort, did take some effort. It is a bit ridiculous. It's like 1970s party food. You have to do the whole hard-boiled egg thing and then you have to cut them in half, scoop out the stuff and make the thing and put it back in. Crazy. Right, it was fun in the end, I enjoyed it and, man, they're good and I've got four little halves for my lunch today and that makes me feel good. So I can do that.
Speaker 1:But I have to recognise the fact that it's not that easy. I don't have that much headspace for thinking about how to create nourishing food. Sometimes I wish somebody would just give me. Actually that would be lovely. Imagine if somebody just turned up and gave you this like really healthy, high protein, perfect for your gut. That's what I imagine.
Speaker 1:Delicious thing for lunch, just there it is. There you go, you don't have to think, which means really I just want a personal chef, doesn't it? But I don't really, because I don't want somebody in my house cooking, so that's not going to work either. Oh, my goodness, does your mind do this? I know it does. That's why you're listening to me. The entanglement of our minds, hey, with their shoulda, woulda, couldas. It's really hard work when we're in our minds in that shoulda, woulda, coulda. Oh, don't like it. So here's what's happened.
Speaker 1:I woke up. I've been feeling slightly unwell for a little while. No big deal, I'm not ill. I'm really grateful. I'm really really well. I'm 56. I'm really really well. I have friends who are having knee replacements. I'm really fit and healthy. I'm really grateful. I love my life. I'm really happy. I'm just putting that there, not for you, for me first, before I go into the.
Speaker 1:But I've been feeling unwell and that's okay, because what I'm doing there is rebalancing it. It is not true that I don't look after myself. It is not true that I have low energy all the time. It is not true that I hate this time of year. None of these. This is true. But there's something there for me. There's a gift in that for me.
Speaker 1:I don't like feeling unwell. I don't like it when I don't feel like I have enough daylight and enough movement and enough being outside, because being outside matters to me and that's okay. I do like this time of year because I'm writing. I'm writing, this is my writing time of year, this is my season for writing. This matters to me very, very much to have this time. So maybe if I just wrote more and stopped listening to the nonsense, entanglement, shoulda, woulda, couldas in my head, I'd have more satisfaction. Yes, that's what I need to do.
Speaker 1:So I've been feeling unwell this week and fighting it. When I stopped fighting it and rested, I felt such relief. I felt so much better. I realised I was pushing to achieve things and that wasn't serving me. As I let go, I'm now finding ways to achieve the same things in a more Heidi way, and that's the gentle rebellion Going from pushing against myself to working with myself, with a gentle shift.
Speaker 1:I can't tell you exactly what that looks like, because it's not a big deal. It's just a shift in my body. Mainly, it's a letting go of the attention, of listening to the crazy entangled stories in my head, the woulda, shoulda, couldas, the judgment, the bashiness, the pushing, the. This is wrong. You should be doing this better and instead just allowing my attention to go into my body, noticing how I feel, feel a bit meh this time of year. Well, look out the window. It is a bit meh, that's okay. So don't try and go outside doing a million things. Maybe withdraw it inwards, enjoy this time of year and just write. Withdraw it inwards, enjoy this time of year and just write. Just write, because that's what I really want to do.
Speaker 1:Anyway, that's my rant for this week. This is how I am this week. How are you? How does this season affect you? Now, I know we have people on the other side of the world where the seasons are the other way up, so I'm not going to apologize for doing it this way up, because it still applies to you. It still applies to you as in lucky you, it's spring, sending you so much love for the joy of coming out of the doom and gloom into the spring. But it also gives you an opportunity to hopefully reflect on still reflect on how the seasons affect you, how you're affected by the weather, how you're affected, but mostly for all of us, is how am I affecting, how I feel by listening to the entangled junk and judgment and pressure coming from my mind. Have a good week. See you next week. Thank you so much for being here. For more resources to help you gently rebel, please visit my website, wwwheidymarkcouk.
