Overwhelm is Optional

How to Break Free from Overwhelm and Reclaim Your Life

• Heidi Marke • Season 1 • Episode 215

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What if overwhelm wasn’t a sign of failure, but a trickster blocking the easier way to live your life?

In this episode, I share my personal journey from burnout to creating The Gentle Rebellion Against Overwhelm. We’ll explore how to gently—but firmly—say no to the pressure and yes to the clarity, energy, and joy that come from listening to yourself.

In this episode, you’ll discover:

  • Why there’s nothing wrong with you—it’s overwhelm.
  • How overwhelm blocks the easier, more joyful ways forward.
  • The simple yet powerful shift that changes everything: letting your body and heart support your mind.
  • Why the rebellion needs to be gentle—and how that makes all the difference.

Join the Gentle Rebellion:

🎙️ Welcome to Overwhelm is Optional

This podcast was created to help big-hearted, driven professionals break free from overwhelm and experience more clarity, ease, and joy.

But here’s the exciting news… I’ve moved beyond overwhelm.

If you’ve been listening and resonating with this message, you’ll love what comes next.

I’ve created a new podcast: Deep Heartfelt Success—because success should feel as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.

🎙 Join me there → Search "Deep Heartfelt Success" on your favourite podcast platform and subscribe.

💡 Experience Deep Heartfelt Success for Yourself
Book a complimentary Deep Heartfelt Success Session—a no-pressure, transformative conversation designed to help you step into your next level of success with ease.
📅 Book here

📚 The Gently Rebellious One-Minute Journal
A simple, powerful way to stay focused on what matters most.
👉 Buy here

🌍 Website:
Explore practical tools, resources, and ways to work with me.
👉 Visit here www.heidimarke.co.uk

🎧 Free Audio: The One Minute Marke
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Heidi Marke:

Welcome to the Gentle Rebellion where overwhelm is optional. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to this week's episode of the Overwhelm is Optional podcast, where I'm attempting to video it, which feels weird because I love my process of doing it. Just audio, it works for me and the mind doesn't like change right, and even if it's good change, because then it means I don't have to then do an audio podcast and then record videos for you if you're watching on YouTube. It's all sensible, but my mind's being resisted, resisting it by going no, no, no, it'll be too hard, it'll be rubbish, you won't be able to edit it. So here I am anyway, saying no mind, thank you for warning me, but I'm gonna do it anyway. Here goes, welcome, welcome.

Heidi Marke:

Welcome to this week's episode of the overwhelmers optional podcast. If you haven't listened to the over 200 episodes that are available in all the places that podcasts like to hang out, including mine, are now on YouTube without the video. You know what I mean. An audio version seems to be what YouTube does. Then you've got a delight in store if what I'm saying resonates with you, because you can just go and binge listen to them all. Lucky you, anyway.

Heidi Marke:

So this podcast is for big-hearted, overwhelmed, highly driven, highly conscientious professionals, my favourite people, the loveliest people in the whole world. Welcome, welcome, welcome. There's nothing wrong with you, it's just overwhelm. And when I say just overwhelm, overwhelm is the gateway drug to exhaustion, burnout, misery, misery, heaviness, thinking there's something wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with you, it's overwhelm. And each week we find ways to look at it differently, to free you to be more and more yourself. This process has become known as the gentle rebellion. I'm going to tell you all about the Gentle Rebellion today.

Heidi Marke:

So the Gentle Rebellion came about because, excuse me, I had to find a way to rebuild my life after unexpectedly burning out. I did not see that coming, oh, my goodness. I look back and think well, it was pretty obvious. In fact, I saw a friend a few months ago and she said are you still teaching Heidi? I said, god, no, I burnt out, left years ago. And she said well, we all saw that coming. And then in that moment I was like so I could have just cut that episode of my life out. I could have cut the eight and a half years of struggling to make a life that just didn't suit me work for me. I could have cut out all of the hugely, hugely pressurised but invisible get better at list. I could have cut all that misery out, but I'm glad I didn't.

Heidi Marke:

I'm not completely glad, I don't. I'm not like oh yes, I'm so glad that I pushed myself to the limit and treated myself as if there was something majorly wrong with me and if my body, as if my body, was an inconvenient way to transport my mind around. I'm not completely happy with that. I'm not happy with it as in oh yes, it's all part of my journey. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I learnt loads from it, but it wasn't the most fun way to travel. So I'm grateful for the lessons, but I'm never going to treat myself like that again.

Heidi Marke:

I am done with overwhelm. I am done with pressure. I'm done with treating myself as if there's something fundamentally wrong with me. There isn't. I know this. I know this primarily from going on Zen retreats with the incredible Zen ways.

Heidi Marke:

Check them out if you're interested. There's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong with us. There's nothing wrong with the situation. It's all just useful information, and when we can view it in that way, we start to get the clarity we need to live more skillfully. So instead of there being something wrong, it's just, oh, I want to up level. I'm going to live more skillfully, but instead of live trying to live more skillfully by deciding, there's something fundamentally wrong with us. So we need to be better, more productive, better at sleeping, better at managing our emotions um, fitter, better, eating better, better, better, better, better, a better friend, a better mom, a better daughter, a better sister, a better dog owner, a better homeowner, a better partner, a better driver. Oh, why no, there's nothing wrong. There's nothing wrong. It's all just useful information to notice and use to find a way to adventure that works for us. That's the gentle rebellion. There's nothing wrong with anything. It's all just useful information, and we are gently but firmly rebelling against the idea that, to have the full life, we want well-paid, meaningful, satisfying work, great relationships, health, energy, space for us, capacity for joy, all the good stuff, the real stuff.

Heidi Marke:

The reason why we worked so hard in the first place was to have more freedom to be ourselves, more freedom about, and choice about, how we spent our time. What happens instead, though, is we become overloaded by pressure and we can't think straight, and then we can't prioritize and we can force our brilliant minds to think through that and focus, because we're professionals and we don't want to let anyone down and we've trained ourselves to do that. We've trained ourselves really, really well to ignore the needs of the body and the heart in order to push the mind to focus and get stuff done. And we are good at it and we don't let people down because we are big hearted and highly conscientious. But then it starts to cost us. So you can do that for a while because it works. That's how you get a successful life. It works until it doesn't, and then the heart starts popping up with something's off here.

Heidi Marke:

It's not what I want. This is not the life I intended to create. This is not what I worked so hard for, but I don't want to chuck it all away, because I have this big mortgage and this dream home and relationships and people depending on me, and I love my team and I actually love my job, but it's killing me. Are you with me? Well, that's where I got to and I spent eight and a half years trying to solve the problem of I love my job, but it's killing me, and I never solved it and I did everything, which means you don't have to. So I hacked my sleep, diet, exercise, I use mindfulness, meditation, yoga, all the things. My degree is psychology. I'm a trained yoga teacher.

Heidi Marke:

So embarrassing. I knew what I needed to do. I did all the things. I had this secret impossible get better at list and I imploded my life through burnout because the inconvenient tear leakage which would start happening on my commute home, because the inconvenient tear leakage which would start happening on my commute home started to come out. Oh my God, how embarrassing, in public, in professional settings. I broke so much shame, so much embarrassment, lost my health, my confidence, my financial security, my hard-won professional respect, my career gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.

Heidi Marke:

Because I reached a stage where I was no longer prepared to sacrifice my very self in order to get through my day Done. And on my road to recovery I learned that there was nothing wrong with me or the situation. We were just mismatched. All the way I was moving through my day was mismatched. And I learned that my mind is not created to run the show because it's very linked to my nervous system and my nervous system is designed to shut my mind down whenever it's in high alert, which it's in high alert very easily, because the nervous system's designed to be set off to keep us safe, safe, alive. Safe from bears and major disasters, but not necessarily happy. But not necessarily happy.

Heidi Marke:

And once I started to learn this, I started to realise that we really need to let the body and the heart weigh in on the conversation about how to navigate through our lives. When we do this, we can support the mind. Then we get the focus, clarity, energy. Focus, clarity, energy, ease, states of flow, more laughter, all the good stuff, all the things we were working so damn hard for in the first place. Right, because why did you work so hard to have this full life? Because you wanted more choice about how you spent your time. Why? Because you wanted to feel more joy Deep down. That's it. Everything we do is to change how we feel. Everything. We want the satisfaction of a completed project. We want to make other people happy, because that feels good, because satisfaction brings joy, because connecting with others and knowing that they're happy brings joy. Everything we do is to change the way we feel. Everything. But overwhelm blocks the easier ways to that joy.

Heidi Marke:

Overwhelm is a trickster. It convinces us that we have to finish everything on our own, that we have to take all the pressures of the world on our shoulders that we have to push on through if we want ease, if we want joy. But it's not true. Think about it. Is there a pot of ease at the end of your to-do list? Have you ever reached the end of your to-do list? Have you ever reached that pot of ease when you just go, yeah, I've made it, I've done it, woohoo, that was worth it. No, you get temporary bits, temporary reprieves, but your to-do list doesn't end, and that's a really good thing, because if your to-do list ended, well, that would be the end of your life, because there wouldn't be anything else Like you're always going to want more. You're always going to want to do more, have more, be more, because you're constantly expanding and you're highly driven. You're always going to want more and that's okay. It's just who you are. Overwhelm is the problem, not you, not the situation.

Heidi Marke:

When we deal with the overwhelm first, an easier way, a more you way, starts to appear. So welcome to the gentle rebellion where we gently but firmly rebel against the idea that to have the life you want, you have to push through overwhelm into exhaustion, through pressure to focus. You don't. Overwhelm is optional and that's a a jokey way of saying you need to deal with the overwhelm. First, make it optional. Look at the overwhelm, stare in face, say I'm done with you. Overwhelm, you don't work for me. I've got this far by pushing through you, but I'm done. I want clarity. I want freedom from this nonsense, from this constant pressure, from this going around in circles. I'm done. That's the gentle rebellion.

Heidi Marke:

But the reason it's gentle is because rebellion's not gentle, but it needs to be. This rebellion needs to be because otherwise you're going to have to take a big stand, like I did, and say no and implode your life, and that doesn't solve the problem. Imploding your life, quitting your job, does not solve the problem. It just leads to more overwhelm, more stuff to deal with, more problems to solve. That doesn't mean you shouldn't quit your job. I'm not telling you what to do. That's the whole point of the gender rebellion. Only you know what works for you, what's right for you. Only you know. But you're blocked from that deep knowing by overwhelm. Deal with the overwhelm. Let your body and heart weigh in on the conversation. Everything changes. It's magical, it's not easy, but it feels good, it feels right or not, and this is the point. Either this calls to you or it doesn't, in which case, don't listen to this podcast, don't watch this video. Find something else, because we're all different.

Heidi Marke:

But what I love about the gender rebellion which is what my saying no to overwhelm and exhaustion and pushing myself on through to damaging my health and sanity what that process became as I rebuilt my life and started working with clients and having huge, wonderful successes through courses and all sorts of things that process became the Gentle Rebellion, because I realised that if I took a really strong stand, a shouty stand, I'm done with overwhelm. I'm not doing this anymore, I refuse. And then like proclaiming to the world that I was going to do things differently. The pressure was so intense and it created problems to solve. It created more pressure, more overwhelm, more exhaustion. If I did it secretly and quietly and gently and just said to myself I promise I'm not going to keep pushing you through overwhelm, I'm going to find another way. I'm listening, I'm listening, I've got you. You can trust me. I'm going to look after myself properly now, gently, it's only about you. Nobody else needs to know. You can sort yourself out secretly without anyone ever realizing. And then one day they'll say oh, you've changed. Have you had your hair done? Because you just look more at ease with yourself. So that's the Gentle Rebellion. If that calls to you, please subscribe to this channel. There's lots more coming.

Heidi Marke:

I'm getting really excited about the idea of sharing this on YouTube, not just on my podcast. What else? Oh, before I forget, don't go. I'm going to be hosting a free live workshop on the 5th of January to help us start the year together. There's a wonderful, wonderful group of people gathering. If you'd like to be there with me, please do check the link.

Heidi Marke:

I'm having trouble. I haven't worked out how to put links in YouTube show note things. Sorry, show notes is podcast. See, I'm not used to this. In the description I can't get the hyperlinks to work. Work, but if you go to the profile bit and click on the links there, it comes up the registration, or just pop over to my website. Or, if you are listening to this via audio, it is in the show notes for you. So thank you for being here, welcome, welcome, welcome if you're new and if you're one of my long-standing podcast listeners. Thank you for being here always with much love, wishing you a week of gender rebellion, of committing to yourself first and with a whole lot less overwhelming pressure. See you next time For more resources to help you gently rebel.

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