Overwhelm is Optional
- This is the podcast for big-hearted, highly driven professionals who want their life back.
- Each week, we explore ways to gently rebel against the idea that overwhelm and exhaustion are just the price you pay for success. You don’t have to push through—it’s time to work with ease, reclaim your energy, and create the life you want.
- 💡 Meet Heidi Marke
I’m Heidi, a Coach, Teacher, Podcaster, and Author. Having painfully burned out—losing my career, confidence, health, and financial stability—I discovered a better way. Now, I quietly lead The Gentle Rebellion, helping you to:- Stop pushing through overwhelm.
- Redefine success on your own terms.
- Reclaim your time, energy, and life.
Thank you to purpleplanet.com for the music.
Overwhelm is Optional
Overwhelmed & Exhausted? Here’s How to Break the Cycle
Feeling stuck in the overwhelm-to-exhaustion cycle? It’s time to break free. In this episode, I reveal how to turn overwhelm into a powerful guide—not a problem to fix. Discover the mindset shift and simple practice that can change everything.
Want the fastest most effective way to turn your overwhelm into the joy, satisfaction and ease you're working so hard for? Book a Curiosity Call and discover what it's like to be coached by me. I look forward to meeting you.
🎙️ Welcome to Overwhelm is Optional
This podcast was created to help big-hearted, driven professionals break free from overwhelm and experience more clarity, ease, and joy.
But here’s the exciting news… I’ve moved beyond overwhelm.
If you’ve been listening and resonating with this message, you’ll love what comes next.
I’ve created a new podcast: Deep Heartfelt Success—because success should feel as good on the inside as it looks on the outside.
🎙 Join me there → Search "Deep Heartfelt Success" on your favourite podcast platform and subscribe.
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👉 Visit here www.heidimarke.co.uk
🎧 Free Audio: The One Minute Marke
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Hello, hello, hello. Welcome to this week's episode. Lovely to have you here with me again. This week we're going to do something I'm really excited about. So I've been taking some time to look at the entire transformational path that I went through and that my clients go through, because I think it's really helpful to get an overview and I think you're going to get a lot from it. I know you're going to get a lot from this episode and at the same time, by popular request, what I'm also going to do is go back to basics, because basics are part of the whole process, and then in future episodes I can go through the more complex stages.
Speaker 1:Exciting, eh Well, I'm excited anyway, because I'm determined that you get to quit the overwhelm to exhaustion cycle and move instead into what I'm now calling the overwhelm to joy cycle. So before we do that, I'm just going to share what's going on with me and my garden at the moment. Maybe you can help me with this. So I may have mentioned or not I can't remember that my next door neighbour, who was fairly old but incredibly unhealthy, died, and the thing that we are doing and have been asked to do by the relatives to honour him is to continue feeding the birds. Now we gave up feeding the birds in our garden because why would they come to us when there was basically an entire banquet for them next door? It was pointless. So it's been a real joy. We've had woodpeckers, all sorts of tits, robins, blackbirds, oh my god, everything Very exciting.
Speaker 1:And then came the squirrels. Squirrels are so cool and I know you're not supposed to be feeding the squirrels. I don't know why, I can't remember why, but bird cages, bird cages, bird food often comes in a squirrel, so-called squirrel-proof cage, and I know there were programs years ago where people were setting up these exciting assault courses in their garden for the squirrels. Anyway, I love the squirrels. They just bring me utter joy watching them. They are so cool.
Speaker 1:One this morning made a giant leap to get my homemade fat balls and then just sat with complete pleasure and just ate out of them with his little paws. He was so cute and I could see his tummy was white and I just wanted to tickle his tummy. I know he'd bite me, but did you know squirrels have white tummies? I had no idea. And did you know there's also an American squirrel which is different? Well, you probably did. I didn't realise. When I was in America I found this. I came across this squirrel on the ground and it didn't look the same as an English squirrel. First of all, it was really chilled. Second, it seemed to flatten itself against the ground and thirdly, it didn't behave anything like our squirrels. And it was so cool. I got to hang out with it for ages and it just was just really chill, just really happy, and it's a different squirrel, it's an American squirrel and it's kind of flat on the ground. It goes in burrows. Anyway, that's some of the many moments of joy for my life at the moment.
Speaker 1:And then came the rats. Now, the thing with rats is we are told that they are terrible and I was thinking, why are they terrible? Well, I have evidence of them behaving appallingly. So some did very sadly murder my guinea pigs years ago and I was just stunned. I didn't know that could happen and it was deeply, deeply, deeply upsetting, really really awful. So not that keen on rats.
Speaker 1:However, I did have eye-to-eye contact with a very beautiful rat after Nutmeg. One of my cavalier spaniels shouted at it for ages. I didn't know what she was doing and I went outside to get her in and she'd basically stunned this rat, and it was just sat there and I just looked at it and I just thought it was so beautiful it was really, which immediately made me think we were feeding it, because rats don't hang around unless they've got a food and water source. And, being a keeper of chickens until the polecat stole them last year, you have to have really good hygiene about chicken food and water and everything. So there's this constant, ongoing battle with rats, anyway, constant ongoing battle with rats. Anyway, moving on to this rat story, yes, that lovely, beautiful rat did die and I did discover the food source. I think I might have mentioned this before. Anyway, that's gone.
Speaker 1:But now we're feeding the birds. Rats Come and eat the bird food that's on the ground. Now, I remember years and years ago when we had to get the rat man out because we had rats under the chickens, and he came out and he said you don't feed the birds, do you? Because that's what's causing the rat explosion. And I just thought he sounded a bit grumpy and I don't know. It just doesn't. Everybody feeds the birds, right, it's nice to feed the birds. It's supposed to be a good thing to feed the birds because apparently the birds are starving, although I'd like to know why they're starving, because I'm pretty sure they're pretty tough and I'm near woodland, which means I think they're pretty happy, whether I run a hotel for them or not. However, I'm now stuck because I'm really enjoying watching the birds and, I must admit, the squirrels.
Speaker 1:And then I thought is there a choice here between birds and squirrel joy and rats? Is that what I'm faced with now? I don't know what the answer is. I don't have an answer. I'm curious to know what will happen next. I just I don't know what to do about it.
Speaker 1:Because actually, the rats in the countryside, are they full of disease like in the city? Is that a myth? I don't know. I've no idea. I'm not particularly comfortable with the idea of them moving in and being part of my life, but on the other hand, I'm really uncomfortable with poisoning them. There's nothing they can harm anymore. They can't steal the chicken eggs or damage the chickens. Or if the chickens had, I was going to say if the chickens had puppies, no, if the chickens had chicks, that would be dangerous.
Speaker 1:So there's a looking after of my own health and wellbeing and that of my animals, and then there's these rats and I don't know what to do. Anyway, it's not rats. There's one rat which, because the bird feeders are next to the fence, he's got it planned and I've noticed what happens is he sneaks out not very often and he's really nervous. So a squirrel chased him off the other day. Today he was frightened of a robin, so I don't actually think he's having that greater time.
Speaker 1:However, I'm not happy about this whole thing that I'm now feeding rats. I don't know what to do. And then it got me thinking about the whole idea that you know, when people say, but you have to be overwhelmed, like being overwhelmed is just part of life, you've got no choice. And how much I rebel against that. And now gently and firmly rebel against it and decide that it's not true. And now I'm faced with the rat, squirrel, bird dilemma and I've no, this isn't going anywhere, anywhere. This is just a metaphor for insight that isn't quite there yet. This is how my mind works. Does your mind work like this? Anyway, that's where I am with it. That's what's going on with me.
Speaker 1:Apart from that, there's a lot of joy in the fact that the days are much lighter. It's easier to fit in some time outside. Very excited about that, my partner's busy making more raised beds for me, very, very excited about that. My partner's busy making more raised beds for me, very, very excited about that. Then I'm filling them. Oh, it's just, yeah, my HIIT training. You know this high intensity, hang on, high intensity interval. So HIIT, hiit, high intensity interval training where you, you exercise very intensely for a very short amount of time.
Speaker 1:Yesterday I decided I haven't really got the hang of this at all, but yesterday I decided that an equivalent HIIT training that would be more fun would be wheelbarrowing. So I need to move. As ever in a large garden, there's always the movement of stuff Rubble from projects needs to go in one direction, and then I change its direction to size needs to go down here. Um, oh, just like stuff everywhere the compost from the bottom of the garden uphill to the top of the garden to go on the beds or manure. And anyway, filling raised beds is a lot of work. You're talking about tons of matter, right? So I decided that would be my hit training, whatever HIIT training, whatever that means. That's what's happening.
Speaker 1:So I filled the wheelbarrows up really high, not stupidly high, but I did fill them. You know, if I was going the sensible route, they wouldn't have been that heavy. And then I pushed them uphill and tried really hard to dip them into the raised beds and went back and got another one and kept going instead of going. And when I reached that bit, when you know, when you go I'm done Like it's feeling uncomfortable. This is stupid. I might hurt myself. Instead I went no, I'm going to power through because I'm doing a HIIT training. It was hilarious. It was really hard, really hard to keep going, but I did it and actually when I went inside and got all warm because it's really cold yesterday I felt good. So I might do that again. If I will do it again because it's a great way of doing it, because it's not boring and it's it's slightly amusing and it's filling the raised beds, it's and moving other stuff around.
Speaker 1:Just sometimes I think my life is just about moving objects around. Do you ever feel like that? Anyway, back to the show. I don't like calling it that. Back to the episode.
Speaker 1:So let's do a big overview of what's in store for you if you continue, or if you haven't got there yet, if you decide to gently rebel, if you decide to join our gentle rebellion, where we say no to overwhelm, no to exhaustion, no to pressure, no to no space for ourselves, and we go all in on creating a life that is successful and feels successful, woohoo. So this is what's in store for you, should you choose to continue on your gentle rebellion. I'm going to go through the three stages I've come up with and then I'm going to do a deep dive into the first stage so that, wherever you are in your gentle rebellion, you can reflect on how well you use the first step, because, when in doubt, always bring a beginner's mind and go back to the beginning. Are you ready? So, number one, you're stuck in this overwhelming to exhaustion cycle and you've realized it's repetitive and that the overwhelm into exhaustion cycle is costing you. That's the first one. That's why you're here.
Speaker 1:Why else would you listen to a podcast called Overwhelm is Optional? Unless you were done with overwhelm, unless you wanted to make it optional? I don't think you would, I can't. I'm trying to think of another reason why you listen to this podcast. You're welcome, but anyway, that's what I'm going with. So this is when overwhelm feels like the problem, like you suddenly realize if only I could see the wood for the trees, if only I could get clarity, or you're trying to push through the overwhelm to feel that clarity. So it's a combination of trying to get rid of the overwhelm by wishing you could just clear it magically, and or probably both you're trying to push through it to get the clarity and ease, but nothing's really working. So this, for me, was the time and I spent a long time, about eight and a half years actually. Probably. Look no about I spent about eight years doing this. Um, I got very good at it. Yeah, got the. Got the t-shirt for that one.
Speaker 1:This is the constant trying to solve the problem of both myself, my workplace, making my home run better. It's the constant exhaustion of feeling secretly, deeply inadequate and doing everything to be better in some way. So this is for me. For me, this was the use of mindfulness, meditation, yoga to try and manage my stress. What else? Booking massages, constantly trying to create space for myself, finding ways to switch off, hacking my sleep, my diet, my exercise routine, scheduling time for myself and then feeling really guilty and everything else flooding in or it never being enough time, just constantly trying to do things better.
Speaker 1:So I became an absolute productivity machine and I was a single working mum before then. So you know, I was pretty on the stuff in a crazy messy way of because I want a lot. So it was a bit crazy, but I was good at getting deciding on something and making it happen, even if it nearly killed me, and I just got more productive, which meant I took on more and more and more, because I like working and I liked helping people and I liked getting promoted and having the chance to make things better. So I just did more, more. So it's that kind of cycle and this resulted in moments of sheer joy when I felt I was running high, just felt successful, and then it would collapse again into why am I so tired? Why does my body hurt? What's wrong with my body now? Why can't I sleep? Oh, it'll be better when that project's finished. It'll be better when I get that promotion, I get recognized and appreciated for everything I do. It'll be better when I have a holiday. It's nearly the weekend, it's nearly the end of the day. What else you know? It'd be better when, if this, then that? It's nearly the weekend, it's nearly the end of the day. What else you know it'd be better when, if this, then that? So everything's conditional on doing more being better.
Speaker 1:So these are traditional solutions. Right, trying to fix ourselves. Just traditional, it's the dark side of the self-improvement. I don't want to say industry. It's not about the industry, it's about the movement of it. You know, we want to be our whole selves, but when we see ourselves as a problem, that's the dark side of it. And there's a much better way of thinking of ourselves, which is that there's nothing wrong with us and then everything becomes possible from there.
Speaker 1:Then there's the traditional route of pushing through, which tends to learn to lead to burnout, even if you don't burn out. So that's when you're surfing the verge of breakdown. You feel like you are going to break, and then you just surf out of it to pull everything together. Whoa, smooth move over and over again. And it's costing you. You can't hear yourself think, you can't hear your partner speak. Sometimes you don't have the energy to even sit and cuddle your dog. Oh, my goodness, been there, done that. My dog's love was too much. It's not much fun. And then the other thing is trying to shrink your dreams. So if I wanted less, I could simplify my life and then all the overwhelm pressure would go and I would be happy. But it's not true, because you want a lot and it just doesn't work. So in stage one you decide to try on the gently rebellious glasses of.
Speaker 1:Overwhelm is not the enemy, it's a signal. So overwhelm is not a problem, it's useful information to help you move out of the traditional overwhelm to exhaustion cycle and start moving into the overwhelm to joy cycle. The overwhelm to joy cycle is a highly skilled, practical time when you start looking at the overwhelm and changing how you view it, having practical tools for letting it clear before doing anything that it's a really important part of this transformational process and I give lots of tools and techniques and ideas and insights for that every single week, either here, youtube, in my newsletter, the gently rebellious lead read, and in my blog and occasionally a social media post. Don't do a lot of those. So this is the commitment to the gentle rebellion means I'm done with the overwhelm to exhaustion cycle. So now I'm in the.
Speaker 1:I choose to be in the overwhelm to joy cycle and joy to me is the umbrella word for everything you're working really hard by pushing through overwhelm currently to get. So that's the ease, the satisfaction, safety, the security, the appreciation, the love, the money, the, the feeling that you've made it that that I'm umbrellaing under joy, because joy is the highest thing of that, isn't it that? Feeling like, yes, I'm living my best life, woohoo, even though you know I don't like the term best life because it feels limiting to me, but you know what I mean. So the three stages of the gentle rebel process are one reframe, overwhelm as useful information, and that's what we're going to go into depth today because that's really important. And then, once you've decided that your choice is, once you move through that stage, if you want to really commit to being done with the traditional overwhelm into exhaustion route, if you want to break that circle, then you commit and that's when you move into. Okay, now I'm in the overwhelm to joy cycle. I'm aiming for joy, ease, satisfaction, etc. And I'm going to use the overwhelm in order to make those course corrections. I'm going to learn to live more skillfully and that includes moving from a mind-based way of living to a mind-heart-body way of living. Not going to go into detail of that today, loads, you can already binge and I will do a future episode on it. Today, loads, you can already binge and I will do a future episode on it.
Speaker 1:What's the third stage. Well, I've just suddenly realised this stage for myself. So I was talking to my coach and I said I had this slight this seems really silly now this slight anxiety over the fact that I realised I'm not really overwhelmed anymore. And so, therefore, should I still be talking about overwhelm? Because can I really relate? And obviously he said to me yeah, that's the point. Like I'm supposed to model, I walk my talk and I'm supposed to model that you can free yourself from overwhelm. So funny, I just thought I'd share that vulnerable bit of slight stupidity with you.
Speaker 1:So stage three is when you've really committed and you've practiced the skills of moving from overwhelm to joy. And during that time there's tons more joy and ease and there's lots of insights and it's an absolutely wonderful place to be. But at some point it all starts to settle. It just naturally becomes oh, I've changed, this is who I am now. It's an embodiment, it's an identity shift, it's big and from there you have the skills and the perspective. And, most importantly, this is why the middle stage is so important and not to be missed out, can't be missed out. It's the hero's journey. You reach a stage where you have enough self-knowledge, self-love, self-awareness and self-acceptance, to be choosing yourself with such deep love and respect for yourself that you intentionally create a life that feels like it was made for you, where you feel at home in it, where you feel successful. So I just quickly do that really fast.
Speaker 1:The three stages of this process are number one moving, breaking the overwhelm to exhaustion cycle, primarily by reframing overwhelm as useful information, not a disaster. Number two, developing the skills for living in the overwhelm to joy cycle. And as you do that, you gain so much information about yourself that eventually you just naturally, almost imperceptibly, move into oh, I used to be like this and now I'm not. And that doesn't mean you never feel overwhelmed or exhausted again, but it means you know what you're up to. It's intentional, it's conscious, there's a calm confidence about it. And there you have it.
Speaker 1:And right now, for the rest of this episode, we are going to do a deep dive into the first part because it's really important and if you've already been through it and you're in the overwhelmed joy cycle, it's still worth listening to. Because, first of all, it will make you realize how far you've come and secondly, it will remind you of the most important thing, which is shifting the way you look at things, which is a mindset shift, but what I prefer to call putting on a gently rebellious lens, because then it's an invitation rather than I don't know. My relationship with the word mindset is complicated. Let's ditch it for now and get on with practical tools for you. So you come to deciding that you're sick of overwhelm, to deciding that you're sick of overwhelm. You're sick of the overwhelmed exhaustion cycle, but you're so overwhelmed you don't know what's going on. So you end up listening to this podcast and you think, well, that's interesting, or you hear something else, or you pick up the one minute mark, or something like that.
Speaker 1:By the way, I've just created a guide with this first step in it. If you want a handy summary of it, click the link in the show notes and grab your guide hot off the press. I've made it nice and sparkly. It's not for printing, it's got too much colour in it, it's too lovely Just for glancing at and reminding you that you have a way to make overwhelm optional and a thing of the past, woohoo.
Speaker 1:So you start by realising there's a problem, but you don't know what to do. And then, if you're very, very fortunate, you end up here with me who's geeking out on overwhelm and is committed to freeing you from it, and this is what we do. So instead of seeing overwhelm as a problem I'm not saying it's not a problem Right now, it's blocking you from all the easier ways and joyful ways. Absolutely, I'm not like. I love, love overwhelm, but try this gently rebellious lens on for size and see how it feels. Now this doesn't feel like very much, but if you let it sit with you and let my words kind of go through the cells in your body and just try it on for size, try walk. I would suggest walking around with this as an idea and allowing yourself to be curious. So instead of fighting overwhelm, just start viewing it as useful information. And if that sounds insane it would have done to me too I'd be like, for goodness sake, I know it's a problem, I know I need to solve it. No, it's not for solving. There's nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with the situation. There's nothing wrong with your overwhelm.
Speaker 1:Overwhelm is a natural byproduct of overusing the mind, overloading the mind. All of us, highly driven, big hearted people, do it because we're taught to do it, and it's a natural thing to do to say yes to everything and everyone and take on loads and loads and loads. If you want a lot, you're highly likely to overload your mind Easily done. Welcome to my world. You're in the right place.
Speaker 1:When you stop seeing it's something to solve and put or push through and or push through and start just pausing and looking it in the face and saying, oh, if you were useful information, how could I use you? So this involves curiosity. So overwhelm is your mind saying too much. We need to up level how we're moving through life. This isn't working. It's blocking the good stuff that you're working so hard for. So see if you can view it. I'm going to invite you to view it as a gift, but I know that's really hard. So instead of calling it a gift if that's really too much I'm going to call it a signal, or a sign, if you like, a bit of woo. It's a message. It's a message from your mind. I'm overloaded. Your heart. This is not the way to fulfillment your body. Yes, it's really tiring being treated as an inconvenient way to drag your mind around. It's useful information. That's your first step. Try on that as a gently rebellious lens. Try on that as a gently rebellious lens.
Speaker 1:Secondly, learn my go-to, most powerful technique, which is why it's worth listening to this, because getting back to basics matters. Always bring a beginner's mind, always bring curiosity See what else you can gather. My best tool in the world is neutral noticing. Now, on the one hand, you could say, yes, but, heidi, it's exactly the same as mindfulness. But here's the thing I knew everything, not everything. I knew a lot. I'd read a lot, I'd experienced a lot, I'd been to retreats, I'd had training in mindfulness. It did not help me. It made me feel worse. It made me more aware of just how awful things were. It didn't help. I didn't want to be in the present moment, when the present moment felt like hell and I didn't know how to get out of it.
Speaker 1:Neutral noticing is just noticing, completely neutrally. It doesn't have any baggage with it. There's no books on it, it just is. I invite you to pause and notice, and the easiest way to do this is to move your attention. Nothing more. Move your attention from being completely absorbed in the overwhelm which tends to be in our head, even though it's real, and move your attention to your feet. As soon as you do that you get space between you and the overthinking, the overanalyzing, the overwhelm. Move your attention to your feet and feel your feet on the ground. Then move your attention to your belly. Allow your belly to soften if it wants to and if it doesn't, that's okay, because we are not trying to change anything. We're not trying to clear the overwhelm or do anything Now.
Speaker 1:It may accidentally happen sometimes that the overwhelm feels better. You feel better, that's great. But it's not the aim of neutral noticing. The far greater aim of neutral noticing is to increase your ability to view the overwhelm. So it gives you space between the overwhelm and yourself. You can view it. You go into non-judgmental observer mode which, yes, comes from Zen and Buddhism. I get that because that's my training, but I'm just calling it neutral noticing because that's what came out of my work when I used to teach yoga.
Speaker 1:Just notice completely neutrally how you feel in this moment. Notice the physical sensations in the body, without judgment, without worry, without needing to solve them, without needing to make appointments to see a chiropractor. Just notice completely neutrally whatever's going on at any given moment. Now, if you do this for one minute a day, things will start to shift. Why? Because you'll start to get space between you and the overwhelm, because you'll start to get control of your attention, which means it's not so easily hijacked, which means you get a chance to sit back a little bit from the madness, the chaos and the mayhem. And that tiny bit of space is powerful. But you have to practice. You can't just do it once and go yeah, that was nice, I felt a bit better. Or that was rubbish, I didn't like it.
Speaker 1:It if it's not for you, fine, go go and listen somewhere else. I wish you whatever you're looking for, because it matters. How you are in the world matters. But if this is resonating. I invite you to click the link below which has got the free one minute mark audio if you'd like an audio for a minute to help you. Otherwise, just do this.
Speaker 1:Move your attention from your head to your feet. Feel your feet on the ground. Allow your belly to soften. If you're sat on a chair, you can allow yourself to just feel. Notice the chair beneath you. It's supporting you. It's magic. Feels better to notice the support, right Anything physical. Allow your shoulders to move away from your ears. Maybe allow space between the teeth. Maybe allow space between the brows, maybe, allow the scalp, just be noticed. Just notice, not trying to relax, no, deep breathing, nothing, just noticing.
Speaker 1:Then what will happen is you'll start to notice the judgment, the stories, the activating of the overwhelm again, because if you're like me, when I was in that state, I'd start noticing all of the things that were really annoying me or upsetting me, all the things I wanted to make better. So then I invite you to neutrally notice your judgment, your stories, so you can notice the physical sensations, then notice how you feel emotionally, you can notice the heart and then you can also observe the mind and its activations. It's oh yeah, I need to do this. Yes, busy, right, just notice it's busy, that's it. Neutral, neutral, noticing One minute every day.
Speaker 1:Things will start to shift. It's really, really cool. It sounds like nothing. The number of clients who've said to me I did it because they wanted to do it, it felt good. I didn't really believe you and I love it when they say that because it's quite funny. I don't think I would have believed me either back then. But the thing is, it shifts things. You start to get control over your attention, you start to pay attention to yourself, but, most importantly, you move into observer mode, the ability to observe yourself without judgment, and that's really powerful, really powerful. And that's when you start moving to the overwhelmed joy cycle, because you just realize, you realize the costs, which is the next bit I'm going to talk about. You realize where you are and you can only start from where you are.
Speaker 1:We always want to start from somewhere else because we feel like we're either behind or we ought to be further ahead. That sounds like the same thing, but you know what I mean. Sometimes we travel back in time and think we're still in this stuck pattern, where it's not true. Lots of things have shifted, because pretty much it's impossible to be stuck, because the whole world's moving constantly, all your cells are moving, you're breathing in and out, everything's always changing. It's impossible really to be properly stuck, but it can feel like it. So sometimes we start where we're not, as in. We think we're still in the past and we haven't achieved anything or changed, and often we think we ought to be in a different place. So we tell ourselves that we really are, but we're not. So we very often don't really get clear on where we are. We often have no idea where we are, and neutral noticing gives you the information you need to know where you are so you can start where you actually are.
Speaker 1:Start at the beginning, start where you are, find out, get curious Now. Curiosity and self-kindness are absolutely essential for this part of the journey, because you're going to start noticing what's really going on and you're probably not going to like it. You're not going to be too pleased with taking a good hard look at yourself. So don't take a good hard look at yourself. Take a gentle but firm look at yourself. Instead, do it with love, kindness, be on your own side, be your biggest cheerleader. You cheer everybody else on. Now it's time to cheer yourself on.
Speaker 1:So this is the third part of the first stage. This is the very beginning of the gentle rebellion. Number one stop fighting overwhelm. It's useful information. Second, start practicing neutral noticing for one minute every day. Then, as you start to do both those things and they start, don't do all three at once. You don't have to. It's not a race, it doesn't work that way. This is deep. Be gentle but firm. Commit to it and then just start building and as you do this, you'll start to notice what's going on for you. You will notice what your particular signs and symptoms of overwhelm are and what it's costing you. And you need to face that, because until you understand what it's costing you, how are you going to be motivated to take action? It's too easy to think, well, I can cope, it doesn't really matter and everything feels better now anyway. So I've you know, and that is a part of the cycle, right? The overwhelming to exhaustion cycle includes that bit when we think we're okay and we are okay, you are okay.
Speaker 1:If you did none of this, it's not like anything terrible is actually going to happen. Yes, I burnt out, but it wasn't terrible. It was great in many ways. It was painful, but it got me to here, so it's not terrible. You don't actually break, it's just a more painful way into transformation. But it's not terrible. But I wouldn't recommend it because it wasn't fun and terrible. But I wouldn't recommend it because it wasn't fun and now I can look back and see the easier ways. But I'm grateful for it now because it helps me connect with you and make you feel seen and heard and that's my work and that brings me deep joy and satisfaction. That's the gratitude. But it's years ago, so it's taken me this long to get to a point where I'm comfortable with it. I see it differently now. I've dumped the shame and fear and turned it into joy, self-acceptance, self-knowledge, self-love, because I moved into the next stage, the overwhelm to joy stage, which is a very rich stage of getting to know yourself and saying yes to yourself more and more and more.
Speaker 1:So quick summary Stage one of your gentle rebellion is two. Number one see overwhelm as useful information, not a problem to be solved, and there's nothing wrong with you. Practice neutral noticing for one minute every day. And thirdly, as those two blend together, get really clear on where you are and then drop the judgment about it. It's neutral noticing, take note as if you were a little reporter and you're going into not a war zone but an overwhelmed chaos zone and you're taking notes and going.
Speaker 1:Well, I was more overwhelmed here. That felt bad. Like talking to that person was draining when I eat that this happens. When the weather's like this, this happens. I don't like that. Oh, I felt much better here. Oh, that felt good. Like just be a little observer with a notepad. You don't actually have to do the notepad thing, but it is useful to message and let out and write down.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've started really noticing. I have this pattern. I've started noticing when I feel good and when I feel drained. I've started to notice when I feel most overwhelmed. I've started to really notice how good it feels to just notice and take that time for myself. This is a rebellious act of self-love. This is the first step in your personal and very unique, even though we all have similar patterns. Gentle, rebellion as you start to get the clarity that'll give you the motivation and the momentum to take the next step. When you're at that point, come back for more, because I'll do another episode on many more episodes In fact, most of my episodes, I would argue, are about the overwhelm to joy cycle.
Speaker 1:They're about finding a more skilled way of living. I hope you've enjoyed this episode. I have loved creating it for you and I'm really grateful that you're here. If you'd like to leave a review on Apple or Spotify, that is so, so helpful for small podcasters like me. If not, it doesn't matter. Thank you for being here. Anyway, it's lovely to have you here, wishing you an unexpectedly lovely week and I'll see you next week.
