Why Inspiration Turns Into Frustration And How To Stop The Spiral

You feel inspired, you take action and then life gets in the way. This episode explains why the inspiration-frustration cycle keeps happening and what actually breaks it. 

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Transcript

The Inspiration To Frustration Loop

Spinning Plates And Hidden Overload

Mindset Shift Versus Identity Shift

Embodiment And Becoming Future You

Plate Swapping With Your To Do List

Recommit Fast With Self Forgiveness

Connect Share Subscribe And Review

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Welcome to Overwhelm is Optional, the podcast for big-hearted, highly driven professionals who are ready to turn overwhelm into clarity, ease and joy. I'm Heidi Mark, the Gentle Rebel Coach, and in each episode I share insights, stories, and practical tools to help you gently rebel against the pressure to push on through because you matter. How you are in the world matters. Hello, hello, hello, and welcome to this week's episode. This week I want to talk about the inspiration into frustration. The inspiration into frustration circle that I am currently observing in myself and my clients and other people. So this is what happens. We get really inspired by talking to somebody, hearing a new idea, reading a book, listening to a podcast, watching a YouTube video. The normal thing, because we get excited and we're into personal growth. Woo-hoo-hoo! And then we set our compass in this new direction, and we feel really purposeful, really excited, and then life throws its normal rubbish at us curveballs, the demands of other people, all the stuff we already were holding, and we're frustrated because we've been derailed again. Can you relate to this? It's really annoying, right? So here's what I think's going on. So you know that feeling when you feel like you're spinning plates on spinning plates. Let's imagine that the reason we're spinning plates on spinning plates is the original plates, the ones that have got the other plates on top, are your old plates of your old life, and it was already a lot because let's face it, not everybody spins plates. You spin plates because you want a lot, so it feels like you're spinning plates, and spinning plates is fun up until there's too many plates, and then it just it's really stressful, and then they fall and they break, and it's annoying. Because actually, you like spinning plates, you just want to do it successfully, and it wants to be fun, otherwise you just go and lie in a beach somewhere, right? So when we feel like we're spinning plates on spinning plates, let's imagine that the original the first lot of plates are your old way of doing things, and then you get inspired and you've got new plates. But instead of dealing with the old plates first, we put the new plates, we don't realize we're doing it, we put the new plates on top of the old plates, so then we are spinning plates on spinning plates, and that is when it gets really stressful and really tricky because we are holding too much because we want a lot and we get really, really excited. Does this resonate? I'm really good at doing this. So the way I'm thinking about it now is when we get inspired by something, when somebody says something that resonates and something clicks, we can we start to see the world differently. That's the beginning of a mindset shift. And a few years ago, everybody was talking about mindset and how you just need to shift your mindset, but you don't just need to shift your mindset, shifting your mindset is not enough. Mindset shifts are information, they're mind-based. It's not enough. Yes, it's true that how you see the world determines your experience of the world. So if you believe something's possible, it is, and if you believe it's not possible, it's not possible. That still holds true. However, if you want to exist in the world of that possibility, that's an identity shift. It's you need to become the person who lives in that way, who has achieved that, who not just believes they can, but can feel what it's like to have achieved it. Because from that place, the feeling of the end result, everything we do is in order to change how we feel, from that place, you can hold the plates, the new plates, and you have let go of the old plates or the ones that you no longer need. So when you shift identities and not just mindset, and then it gives you the capacity to be the person to hold that more, to be in that life, to feel the end result. You become the person who has the thing, you become the person who's achieved the thing. You've become the person who moves through the day differently, calmer, more happily, more at ease, whatever it is you're after, who has the promotion, who has the confidence, who has the money, who has the success. You become that person. And on the way to becoming that person, you have to let go of old ways of doing it, old beliefs. You have to forgive yourself for things, you have to forgive other people. There's a whole adventure moving from one identity to the next, particularly when we do it on purpose. Now, identity changing is happening all the time, but usually we do it without awareness. So, for example, as you move through life, you can suddenly realize that you're a different person. But if you didn't realize, it can be really weird, it's like a jolt, and then there's grief. So, for example, the obvious ones are seasons of your life, so having children, and then those children suddenly become less dependent on you, and suddenly you've got free time, and you always longed for that, but now it's a little bit weird because you're a little bit lost, or just changing, and not you're no longer the new person at work, or you're no longer the person saving to buy a house. You now have a house, you're a homeowner, and with that, there's different things. So there's good and bad in all of it, isn't there? There's the when you're renting, you don't have to do all the maintenance. When you own a home, you're really excited, and you thought it would just be wonderful, and actually, now you've got all this maintenance, so it's just different. It's not, it's also much better, isn't it? Because that's what we want. We hopefully, if that's what you do want. So we're we're looking at growing into more fulfilled versions of ourselves, and in doing so, we have to not only imagine that we can have the thing or be the thing or achieve the thing, but we also, in order to do that, have to let go of the old way of doing things, the version of ourselves that didn't have it, and that requires effort, it requires thinking about it. So the problem with the whole feeling inspired and feeling like you're now seeing the world differently and you believe this thing's possible, and then getting derailed and then really frustrated that you never quite achieve the thing, or it's really hard to achieve the thing, is is that there's just this bit missing that's not really talked about because everything's mind-based, isn't it? A lot of research is mind-based, everything we just we just over-rely on the human mind, which is brilliant, but it's not really designed for this deep happiness. It's it's designed to keep us safe. So identity shifts are about embodiment, about allowing every cell in your body to become this new version of you, to feel your feet on the ground walking around as if you are that version of you, and from there, that stepping into your future self, it becomes easier to let go of what no longer works for you because you can imagine it, you can feel it, you can act as if you can act from. So that's what I believe is missing the identity shift. So, for example, if we're gonna use a really practical idea of this and how to stop spinning plates on spinning plates, when you look at your to-do list every morning, it probably has quite a lot on it. So you can plow through it and hope that the right stuff gets done, or you can pause, you can feel as if it's done, or you can go further than that. You can go into the version of yourself who has the big things you're trying to achieve, and you can then look at your to-do list from that place and ask, would I still be doing all of the things on it? And you wouldn't, because we change all the time. So then you can decide which things am I gradually letting go of, what's most important, and that can be really, really helpful in prioritizing the things that actually drive the change, the things that you're trying to achieve forward, rather than just maintaining the stuff. And what we're doing when we do that is is what I'm going to call plate swapping. So instead of dropping plates, because we can't suddenly let go of all of the things, not unless I mean you could drop everything, but you'd have to be prepared to let people down, and you'd have to be prepared for things to go wrong and cope with that. So you can just drop your plates, you can smash your plates, they're your plates, do what you want. They're metaphorical anyway, but they're not, are they? They're real. We can't suddenly let lots of people down by dumping all of the things we used to do. But we may be able to change our priorities and use the best the best part of the day, you know, your best focusing part. You could choose to focus on the new plates, and then the old plates get a little bit less because you can't do it all, so you've got to make a decision. So we can gradually plate swap by delegating, letting go, not acting from fear, because a lot of the things we do actually, if we look at them, are from fear fear of letting other people down, fear of dropping dropping a ball. Too many metaphors now, and that and that takes the energy away from stepping into the new version of ourself who's really, really focused on the things we really want to achieve now. So that's the way I'm looking at it. Mindset shifts are not enough. Mindset shifts are more information, and you don't need more information. Yes, it can be really helpful to hear it from somebody else who's looking at it differently. That's what this podcast doing is doing. But in the end, you're going to have to take those different ways, those different lenses, and look at choose to look at the world differently and start to embody that. So really get clear on. But what was it about the thing I heard that inspired me? What is it I'm really chasing? What do I want? What am I trying to shift? And what will that feel and look like? And the more you can step into that version of yourself who has the end result, the easier it is to focus on the tasks, the actual inspired action, and stay focused on it until it happens. Because we get derailed by the old stuff, which still needs our attention, but gradually we will let go of. So to summarize, mindset shifts aren't enough. You have to embody the change you're trying to create so that you can keep the excitement and the purposeful action going, regardless of the curveballs and all the other stuff you have to hold, and so that you can start to gradually swap your plates, gradually do more of the things that are in line with what you're trying to achieve, and fewer of the things that are just maintaining the old life, the old way of doing things. If you plate swap instead of trying to spin new plates on top of old plates, you should hopefully be able to embody what you're trying to achieve without losing that beautiful focus. However, a word of warning: we all lose focus. The fastest way to get back onto your focus is not to make a big deal out of it, to just forgive yourself really quickly and say, Whoops! and then get back on it. This is where I'm heading, this is what delights me, this is where I can feel myself going. Stuff will happen, and I will keep recommitting over and over and over again until you are bored of it. Like when we get bored, we've practiced really well, right? I just recommit, I just recommit. I forgive myself because I forgot, and I just recommit over and over again. That works, that's consistent. Consistent small steps get us to where we want to be. So that's it for this week. Short and sweet. Mindset shift isn't enough. You want an identity shift, you need to embody that, and I'm suggesting that you can swap plates instead of just adding more plates in. Hope you enjoy that. I'd love to know what you thought of that. Please do contact me. Links in the show notes. See you next time. Thank you so much for listening and for being part of the Overwhelmers Optional podcast. If you want to continue the conversation, please do connect with me on LinkedIn, Instagram or YouTube. Let me know your thoughts. I love hearing from you. And if you found this helpful, taking a moment to share, subscribe and leave a review would be much appreciated. It helps other people find the podcast. If you're ready to turn overwhelm into joy, you'll find my books, resources and ways to work with me on my website heidimark.co.uk and on Amazon. All the links are in the show notes. Until next time, keep gently rebelling and making overwhelm optional for you.