A One Minute Monday Ritual To End Overwhelm

What if a one minute Monday ritual could end the overwhelm before it starts?

Mondays don't need forcing. They need grounding.

In this episode I share a short, powerful practice to set you up for focus and satisfaction at work — without the pep talk, the playlist or the pressure.

Starting with The One Minute Marke, we reset the nervous system, reconnect to what matters and step into the feeling of a week that ends exactly how you want it to.

This podcast was created to help big-hearted, driven professionals break free from overwhelm and experience more clarity, ease and joy.

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This podcast is here to soothe and inspire, helping you reclaim your life from overwhelm. It is not intended as medical...

Transcript

Why Monday Energy Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, hello, welcome to another episode of the Overwhelm is Optional podcast. Thank goodness Overwhelm is optional. Thank goodness I know that now. I'm so grateful. Goodness me. I used to think it was compulsory. No, I'm not having that rubbish anymore. Anyway, today I want to talk about a technique that I used to teach live in a thing called Clubhouse. Do you remember Clubhouse? No, probably not. Anyway, it was one of the entrepreneurial things on my journey. So I used to do this thing called Kick Ass Mondays, and for five minutes I would open a rooming in Clubhouse, and people would join me, and I would get them set up for the week with this really short, powerful, and very effective technique. So somebody mentioned it to me recently how they still use it, and I thought, right, I'm going to share it with you. So here goes. This is for you if you are not absolutely excited and focused on a Monday morning. And don't get me wrong, I'm really excited and focused today, but I'm not always. Sometimes I need to use my own technique, and that's okay. I'm walking my talk, it's all normal. It's okay to not be excited about your Monday morning. It's okay, because it's normal, it's just the human condition, the human mind, etc. And it's all an adventure, a gently rebellious adventure. However, it does matter, doesn't it? It matters how you start your week. If you start your week with a kind of kick-ass, beautiful energy, then it tends to go better. Isn't it better to be able to focus on what you really want to focus on? Isn't it better to know what you want to focus on? Isn't it nicer when you just feel good? So if everything we do is to change how we feel, which I firmly believe it is, then why not just start with how you want to feel? Because then you uncover all the hidden subconscious stuff going on that's driving your life, and also you get to feel really good on the way. Woo-hoo! So here's how it goes. You start your Monday morning instead of going, dragging yourself out of bed and just trying to get yourself into this upbeat state, and what I used to do is have a power tune for the day, put on my power boots, thinking that was resilience by toughening up and changing my state into one of hugely positive energy, and it worked, but ultimately it drained me because it wasn't quite true, it was a cover-up. I don't want to go into the whole state change thing right now. I could do, I could do a whole ramp of that, but what I want to do is just stick to the point, not go for a tangent, Heidi. Stay with it. Okay, kick ours Mondays allows you to do that differently, more effectively, because it's actually true, it's in alignment. So, what we're doing in Kick Ours Monday is always start with the one-minute mark where you get out of your head into your body, feel your feet on the ground, allow your belly to soften if it wants to, notice if it doesn't, we're not trying to change anything, just noticing completely neutral how you feel in the moment and inviting the body to rest and reset the nervous system if it wants to, and if it doesn't, that's okay. So it's just getting really present to what's going on with you at the moment, but it tends to reset the nervous system, but it's an invitation, it's an allowing, not a demand, not a strict breathing practice. You're not trying to achieve anything. This is important because this is practicing the ways of being and the new habits that you need to gently rebel against the overwhelming to exhaustion mode of being, the spinning plates on spinning plates, and start stepping into the gently rebellious, yeah, I'm having it all. I want focus and satisfaction at work, and I want to switch off, laugh easily, and be present at home. To have all of that, I invite the idea that you need to gently but firmly rebel against the status quo, which is that overwhelming to exhaustion is just a necessary requirement of a full, successful life. Nonsense, calling it out, not interested, it's time to do things differently. So, in the one minute mark, what you're doing is allowing, inviting that connection with the body, which allows the nervous system to go into that beautiful neutral state where you just are you just are, you're just able to observe, you're the neutral observer, you're just observing rather than reacting, and then that ability to observe becomes useful information in order to live your life more skillfully. So always start with the one minute mark. All of my practices always start with the one minute mark. Out of your head, into your body, feel your feet on the ground, allow your belly to soften if it wants to, maybe allow the shoulders to move away from the ears if they want to. And if they don't, that's okay. Just notice completely neutrally how you feel in this moment. And however you feel is however you feel, and that's okay. Don't try to achieve anything, don't try to change anything, don't even try to relax. Just notice completely neutrally how you feel in this moment. Now that was faster than a minute, I'm pretty sure, but that is the outline of the one minute mark. If you haven't yet got your free audio download of the one minute mark, the link is in the show notes or go to my website. It will be www.hidmarkwithanee.co.uk forward slash the one minute mark. Get the audio, stick it somewhere on your phone and your laptop, preferably both, and use it regularly throughout your day. It will start to shift things amazingly for you. And once you've become practiced at that, which doesn't take long, you you stop needing the audio, and that's really helpful. And sometimes you might go back to it, but it just becomes embodied, it just becomes the state of walking around, being able to neutrally notice how you feel, which allows you to pause and react, or sorry, pause and respond rather than that fast reaction, which is often emotionally reactive, right? It also does loads of other things too. I'd argue it's the most powerful state from which to start. It's like it's like going into neutral in the car. You've you can make a decision from there, you can decide, you're not just driving along reacting to the road conditions, you're pausing, you're safe, you're strong, you know what you're up to, you can catch what you're up to, and change course, course correct if necessary. So we start with the one-minute mark, which gets you out of your head where the overwhelm is, into your body, where the ability to just be is, and then connect it to your heart and the discernment of your heart, so you can make better decisions in line with where you really want to be, so that instead of getting stuck in this unconscious pattern of repeating things, you can start to purposely move towards the person that you're becoming. I would argue that the reason that you're frustrated, overwhelmed, exhausted is because you want to shift things, you want more freedom, you want more peace of mind, you want to be able to focus on the things that really matter rather than holding together a past life. So in Kick Ass Mondays, what we're doing is we're starting it in so we start with the one-minute mark, and then we do this really powerful thing where we say, Okay, I notice, so you've already noticed how you feel. So it may be that you're dreading Monday, you can feel it in your body, there's something today or this week that you really don't want to do, or just feels like it's going to be really painful to do, it's just gonna be really hard work, or it feels risky. All sorts of things go on, don't they? But noticing that, acknowledging that, starting from there rather than trying to jump straight into the woo-hoo, I'm amazing theme tune power on through, which is what I was doing in my career, and that eventually didn't work anymore because I became so disconnected from my body and my heart that I wasn't really me anymore. So we're staying, we're we're bringing the focus back to us. This is who I am, this is how I feel on this particular Monday morning, and from this point, I want to be able to focus joyfully on what matters most to me. So there's two things going on here, isn't there? There's the what am I focusing on, and when we're overwhelmed and disconnected from ourselves, we try to do all the things and or we do the I hate, I don't like to say the word wrong things, but not the things that will drive our business forward or um get us that promotion or whatever's most important. We tend to just keep the status quo going, even though we're we're working really hard, and that's the spinning plates on spinning plates, trying to do everything at once, trying to maintain the old version of us and step into a new one, but without any real conscious discernment. It just all gets added on top. So, an example of that for me would be I managed to burn out while pro while prioritizing my self-care because I added in lots of self-care as another thing to do on top of an already very overloaded and rigid schedule, and it just added to the pressure and the overwhelm. It was another thing to fail at. Whereas if I had known that I could get out of my head, connect to my body and my heart, and make more aligned decisions where the heart's weighing in on the conversation. So the heart is where we feel joy and love and connection, all the really good stuff. And the body has this wisdom, and also the nervous system is running through. And when you tap into feelings and acknowledge them rather than trying to change them because they're inconvenient, um, you think that they're wrong, they shouldn't be there, I wish I didn't feel like this, then we we start to build self-trust, and the body and the heart I have found with myself and clients, and also through reading, and I did re I retrained with the Zen Master, this is where it's coming from for me personally. Then we can start to live more skillfully because we let them weigh in on the conversation. So the heart, the discernment of the heart, the wisdom of the body, the ability to get out of the head into the body, allow the nervous system to settle. So you're in neutral, you're not hyped up, you just are you're observing. It's like the it's like in meditation when you you become aware of the bigger, wider field of energy. So you become the ocean. It's not actually not that you become the ocean, you are the ocean, you are not the waves, you are the sky, you are not the storm, and the ability to watch the storm and watch the waves allows us to disconnect from that being who we are. So stuff happens, but it doesn't have to be who who we are, and it doesn't have to completely consume us so that we lose sleep and get rubbish, wailing banshee in my case. So if we go back to the purpose of kick ass Mondays, it is not just to get you into a revved up state so you can plow on through. That works until it doesn't. I found it to be far more effective and actually to start creating the deep identity shift that needs to happen if we are to live the lives of fullness that we really want by actually connecting first with our body and our heart, and from there stepping into the future. And what I really like about Kick Ass Mondays is it's a really it's easier than stepping into a big future. So I do a lot of work as a lot of coaches do with stepping into your future self, the the version of you that has everything that he or she wants. What we're doing here is a miniature version of this. You just get to look at your to-do list, look at your calendar, look at all of the pressures and appointments and the lot the things you really want to focus on, the desires, you know, the longings for the creating the life you really want to create. You you look at it all as if it was just useful information instead of problems to be solved, because it is just useful information, nothing's wrong, it's just all just useful information, and from there you step into Friday and you imagine that you're just packing up your day, or it could be the beginning of Friday, it doesn't really matter where on Friday it is, but what we're looking for is an up level of Friday. Now, if your Friday is usually full of relief but also anxiety and pressure of not having quite completed things, which is pretty normal Friday for most people, I should imagine, then instead what we're looking for is a woohoo Friday feeling. So it's up to you to identify, particularly in the body and the heart, what would that be for you this week? And it's going to be different each week. So what would make you literally go whoa with your arms in your arms in the air on Friday? Not with like thank god that week's over. We want to aim higher than that. We don't want to just, you know, survival mode's easy. We're all very, very good at survival mode and grumpy survival mode, done about you, not really happy about that anymore. Not unless it's an actual need for survival. Like when I don't know, you're on a ship that's sinking, serious. That's when survival's needed, right? But we're using the survival techniques, the evolutionary survival techniques, to get through weeks, and that's just oh my goodness, what a miserable way to live, hey? You want more than that, that's why you're here. So I invite you to imagine it being Friday and imagining that you had a really good week. So it's not just that you've achieved things or that problems have been solved, it's more than that, it's the how you did it. So you're not pushing and and going for like positive affirmations and and shouty, kind of like, yes, I've got it, and you're not talking yourself up into a state of empowerment. You're literally saying, hmm, imagine that this was an unexpectedly lovely week. Imagine if everything magically fell into place. Imagine if those difficult customers just suddenly became really happy and really appreciative and it was just a delight to do business with them. Imagine if that grumpy colleague just didn't either didn't impact your energy or anything, or just became happier some suddenly. Like imagine, imagine if work just got done far easily than expected. Imagine if things didn't take as much time, didn't feel as tough, but instead felt deliciously challenging. So the way I like to think about it is for me, satisfaction in work is one, I'm focused on the things that are actually going to create the the most joy. So for me, that's business growth and client work. So when my clients are deeply satisfied, when they get what they want, well, actually, when for me it's when they get more than what they want, and my business is growing, and so therefore I'm enjoying it. Well, not therefore, oh I'm and I'm enjoying it actually. So I'm enjoying it even when my business isn't growing because business growth is up and down, isn't it? It goes round and round, everybody in business knows this. So I'm enjoying what I'm doing, I feel satisfied, I feel like I'm using my unique skills in a way that creates more joy for me, my family, and my clients. So to have that for me, that needs to be intentional. This is what I want, so this is what I'm having. So I want to move through my week with that satisfaction. So satisfaction for me is very much linked to the flow state and purpose. So I'm doing the things that are creating what I'm wanting. So I already know what I want, so that's my purpose, and the way I'm doing it is somewhere between ease and challenge because when you get the right bit between ease and challenge, you get a state of flow, and being in a state of flow is delicious, isn't it? Isn't it wonderful? So that's what I'm aiming for, which means I do have to make sure that I'm always slightly challenging myself. I don't find that difficult because I want a lot, so it's pretty easy, and I'm also always learning, and that provides that. So I'm always looking at how can I become an even better coach? What would that look like? How can I serve this client so that this next session is even better than the previous session for them? All sorts of things. You know, what episode am I going to record for you today? What would that look like? How can I make it even more focused, even even better energy, whatever it is, and that's delicious. And I'm really grateful to my business for the work it gives me. But there are aspects of my business that I find draining. Now, sometimes you just have to do them, you know, it's the end of year, I'm gonna have to do some accounts. But in that situation, I'm either going to not do the things because actually they're not necessary and I need to reframe what I'm thinking about, so I could either delegate it, not do it, do it when it's raining, which is a big thing for me with accounts, as if you've been around here for a while you'll know, or I can change how I look at it. So for end-of-year accounts, I could look at it as a celebration, a tidying up, um, an offloading of questions in my mind, a discovery process, or if that doesn't work, I mean, all of those appeal to me, changing the way I'm approaching it, but I could also do things like put music on or eat chocolate or have a reward. You know, this thing, so changing how I approach it and the conditions under which I do tasks that aren't really flow state things, you know, aren't my highest, joyful, most fun things. So all of that is wrapped up in Kick Ass Mondays because I'm looking at how I'm moving through my week. I'm not just looking at the end, but I'm looking at the end deliberately to anchor myself in the feeling of having achieved delicious things and very, very importantly, just as importantly, how I achieve them, so how I move through my week, which to me is why on my website it says who you are becoming is more important than what you are doing, because everything we do, we're always changing, right? We're always shifting identity. I mean, we get older, so I will be 58 on my next birthday, so then I will become a 58-year-old. I don't really know what that means, but you know, that's like a very um unconscious identity shift, isn't it? That other um often just comes to bite us when we go, oh my goodness, I'm much older. In fact, it was funny, we were looking at um borrowing some more money on our mortgage, and I I got a mortgage calculation, they've changed it now, it's hilarious. So now you can have a mortgage up until you're 80, which I find quite amusing. Anyway, I missed it, so I'm 57 and it said, How long do you want the mortgage for? And I put in 13 years. I just added 13 to 57, and in my head got 80, which is not true. I'm much younger than that. Anyway, sideline, waffle there, but do you ever get that? Like you're not entirely sure what how old you are because part of you're still in a different decade of your life, and you're not quite sure how old you are. I get that a lot. I'm also really bad at knowing how old other people are. Can't always work it out because people are so different, aren't they? And people have different energies, some people feel really youthful and look really youthful, and other people look old before their time, and I just find it really difficult to work out how old people are. But anyway, back to kick ass Mondays. See, this will be a one-minute practice, I promise you, but there's depth to it, so you are not state-changing by playing exciting music and putting on your metaphorical power boots. You're doing so much more than that. You are looking at who you are becoming during your week. Who do you want to be as you move through your week? And then you can either just keep it to work where you just say, I want to be the colleague who, I want to be the leader who, I want to be the business owner who, in my case, I want to be the coach. Coach, who I want to be the podcaster, who? And I'm also looking at writing my next book. So I want to be the author, who? So there's lots of identity shifts there. So who am I becoming as I move through my week? And so, which is very much how do I want to move through my week? So personally, I want to move through my week with proper focus, like that really nice flow state, delicious focus on the most important things, which for me is client work, podcast, business growth. So I want to focus on what's matters most, and I wanted to do it in a way that feels delightful, that feels like I'm growing into who I'm becoming next, who I'm choosing to be next, the next version of me. Now that might sound like a lot to do in one minute, but the thing is, by listening to this podcast episode, you are thinking, you are thinking about what this is like for you. So the question, I'm going to ask you some questions now because questions are very, very powerful. That's why coaching is a process of asking very deep questions in a particular way. It's far more to coaching than that, but that's an essential coaching is the ability to ask a really good question in the right way at the right time under the right conditions, which can create fundamental shifts for people. So I'm going to ask you some questions and I invite you to let these questions not just go to your mind and also, very importantly, not to add to your to-do list to journal out later. You can do that if you want to, but I don't want to add to any to-do lists. Really important. So I'm going to invite you to just let these questions wash through your body and into your heart and just to be with you over the coming few days so that on the next Monday from when you listen to this episode, you you put in your calendar, I'm going to spend one minute doing kick ass Monday, and you know. Now it doesn't mean you get it, you get it right, you can't get it right or wrong. It doesn't mean you'll be perfect, it's a practice. So you just practice it with curiosity and an open heart and an open mind. So it's just an invitation to up level your week, to particularly up level your focus in a really intentional way. So these are the questions. How do you want to move through your weeks? How do you want to move through your weeks? Who are you becoming? Who are you becoming? What does the next version of yourself in any or all of your roles look and feel like? So you could have fun with this, you could go full sensory, so you could you could hear yourself speak with confidence in that new version of you. You could see what you're wearing, you could hear what other people say to you, you could feel what it's like to walk into a room, you could notice how that version of you sits at their desk and how they approach their work. There's all sorts of fun things you could do. You could see how they walk through the woods to chill out after work and how good they feel about their day, or how they handle setbacks. There's all sorts of things you can do. So this is it's make it fun. So on the one hand, take it seriously because it's a serious practice and it's really powerful and effective, but make it fun. So what I what I think is really important here is that you we're taking it seriously, but we're not taking ourselves too seriously. We're taking ourselves seriously because we matter and and how who we are being matters because we impact everyone around us and it determines how joyful and amazing and full our life is, but on the other hand, take it lightly, playfully, because this is the gentle rebellion which has a playful way of doing things because we are deliberately practicing the opposite of what has got you to this point. So it's not trying to change yourself, judge yourself, add your get better at list, it's an invitation to play, to pretend, to imagine, to explore, to get curious and have fun walking around, trying on your new metaphorical power boots, your gently rebellious boots. So I get to be this version of myself. What would that feel like? Have fun with it. So it's an invitation for more joy, more curiosity. So let's pull all this together now. Start with the one minute mark out of your head, into your body, allow your belly to soften if it wants to, etc. Get your copy of the one minute mark, link in the show notes, or listen to previous episodes about the one minute mark, and then from that point of neutral, grounded, clear ability to see where you are and what you're up to. I invite you to step into Friday, any point that suits you, and imagine feeling whatever would make you go woo-hoo on Friday with your arms in the air because you'd had such a damn good week. Imagine that, and that's your anchor for the week, and from there you can embody that by letting that feeling flood through every cell in your body, particularly at the beginning of the week, because it's kick-ass Monday, but also you can return to this. In fact, I invite you to return to it to strengthen it, to let it be your compass and guide, and then you can move through the week intentionally towards that feeling of Wahoo on Friday. And then notice how that changes your focus, what you choose to focus on, how you focus, how you interact with people, how well you work, how well you switch off at the end of the day, and have fun with it. I'm gonna now record a separate episode for you, just focusing on Wahoo Friday. May sound weird, but it's really helpful to also have one where you look backwards at Kick Ass Monday because it then strengthens it. See you in the next episode.