Mediate This!
Mediate This!
The 6 Pillars of Building Healthy Relationships (Bryan Power)
Bryan Power discusses The 6 Pillars that will move you from an unhealthy attachment style to a healthy one.
Core Wounds
Core wounds are the deep emotional injuries we carry from past experiences, often stemming from childhood.
Needs
Our emotional needs are the fundamental desires that drive how we connect with others, such as the need for love, validation, or safety.
Emotions
Emotions are powerful forces that influence our behaviors and reactions in relationships.
Boundaries
Setting boundaries and respecting others boundaries is vital for maintaining healthy relationships.
Communication
Communication is the foundation of all healthy relationships.
Behaviors
Our behaviors are often a reflection of our underlying beliefs and emotions.
Learn more about Bryan Power's relationship coaching at:
https://www.myrelationshipfail.com'
https://www.linkedin.com/in/bryanwpower/
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If you have a matter, disagreement, or dispute you need professional help with then visit iMediate.com - Email mbrickman@ichatmediation or Call (877) 822-1479
Matthew Brickman is a Florida Supreme Court certified family and appellate mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. But what makes him qualified to speak on the subject of conflict resolution is his own personal experience with divorce.
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You're Not the Only One - The Agony of Divorce: The Joy of Peaceful Resolution
Matthew Brickman
President iMediate Inc.
Mediator 20836CFA
iMediateInc.com
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ABOUT MATTHEW BRICKMAN:
Matthew Brickman is a Supreme Court of Florida certified county civil family mediator who has worked in the 15th and 19th Judicial Circuit Courts since 2009 and 2006 respectively. He is also an appellate certified mediator who mediates a variety of small claims, civil, and family cases. Mr. Brickman recently graduated both the Harvard Business School Negotiation Mastery Program and the Negotiation Master Class at Harvard Law School.
Hi, my name is Sydney Mitchell.
Matthew Brickman:Hi, I'm Matthew Brickman, Florida Supreme Court mediator. Welcome to the Mediate This podcast, where we discuss everything mediation and conflict resolution. So you've mentioned a couple of times pillars, six pillars. What I guess it's I mean, are those is it is it sort of like a step program or is it or pillar program or what do you mean by pillars? Like like tell us about like six pillars.
Bryan Power:Yeah.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah.
Bryan Power:So six core. Yeah, the six core elements that are going to move us from the unhealthy attachment styles to the healthy. Okay, so the six core elements are this. Number one, you have your core wounds, and those are the subconscious thoughts and behavior patterns that were in our brain. Those are the ones that are you know operating uh without us even knowing it. And what I love about Tys Gibson, she said 95 to 97% of our decisions are made by the subconscious, and that this that the conscious cannot outpower or overcome, if you will, the subconscious. So consciously I know one thing, but subconsciously, I'm behaving differently because the subconscious wounds is really what's driving the train. And that really, I understood that tremendously because that's exactly the way I felt when things were falling apart with my wife and I. Consciously, I knew one thing, but the subconscious was it was driving the train. And so we've got to fix those subconscious wounds. Number two, you're gonna work on needs. Okay, I need to uncover what are my true needs to really make me feel fulfilled in life. And then how do I meet those needs mostly on my own? So I'm not outsourcing my needs. I'm learning how to fulfill my needs on a daily basis. So I feel pretty good about life, whether I'm in a relationship or not, whether my partner's stepping up or not. Um, I've got my needs met pretty much independently. Number three is the emotions, okay? How do we get control of our emotions? How do we learn from our emotions? How do we see like you know, emotions are just information? And so they're coming from our beliefs and our thoughts, okay? So our beliefs lead to our thoughts, our thoughts lead to our emotions, and then our emotions lead to our actions. And so I have to just backtrack that and say, if I'm angry, what is the thought that I'm really having that's causing me to be angry? All right, a lot of times it's this little fight. Like I always talk about say, let's just say my wife doesn't pick the cup off the table and throw it in the and put it in the dishwasher. And if it if it makes me that angry where I'm like, oh my god, nobody puts the dishes away, if it's sparking me to that level, is it is there something more going on? So it may be subconsciously now I feel disrespected. It's not the cup itself, it's what's what what's the story I'm telling myself about that situation that's causing me to now have a level 10 uh of anger and get really triggered, if you will. So I have to use that the emotions for for information and then get control of the emotions, learn how to kind of really deal with that and handle the emotions when they come. Self-control. Yeah, absolutely. Number four is going to be your boundaries. How do we really set boundaries? What are healthy boundaries? How do we set them? How do we make sure that you know we once we know what they are, we convey them to other people, and then how do we enforce them, make sure that people are respecting our boundaries? Um, that's a big one. Number five was huge for me and my wife. It was communication. And, you know, and it I always say if we're both trying to speak the same, you know, we're both trying to say the same thing, but we're speaking a different language, we may never understand each other. And I truly believe because of our wounds, because of our attachment styles, a lot of times that's what's happening. We are trying to uh communicate in a way that's not healthy, not working. I look back at the way uh before this all happened, my wife and I would have these arguments, if you will. And anytime she would try to talk to me like that, I was always listening to defend myself, not listening to understand her. Right? I wasn't listening to understand. I wasn't listening to really gain a perspective that she had. I was just listening to defend why I was right and why she was wrong and all that stuff. And so the first thing I learned is, you know, number one, we have to listen to learn and understand each other, not just listen to defend. Um, and we do things a lot differently now. We we learn how to communicate in a way where we both listen to each other, uh, we give each other five or ten minutes completely uninterrupted, where you know, she gets to speak. I'm now listening to understand, and and now it's at the end of this conversation, we feel like we have some answers. We have feel like we've heard each other, we understand each other a little bit better. And now we can kind of it moves the needle a whole lot healthier than just standing there in a triggered emotional state, with again our wounds playing out, um, really keeping us from being able to connect on that. And last but not least is our behaviors. How do I change my behaviors and and and act in a in a way that's you know healthier or you know, more becoming of a what a real man should be like, right? Instead of you know maybe flying off the handle because I'm emotionally triggered, maybe I catch my breath, maybe I go for a walk for an hour and get myself into a more regulated emotional state before I come back in. But I I start to really you know change my behaviors. I truly believe though a lot of this comes back to those core wounds. Once we begin to really heal the core wounds, a lot of these other things will just become a little bit easier, a little bit better. But until we really work on the core wounds, a lot of times my behaviors and my emotions and all these other things really are harder to communicate. Yeah, really harder to get a control handle on until I get there. But but yeah, those are the six pillars that now you know change my life.
Matthew Brickman:And that was what as you were going through there, I kept thinking, oh, well, yeah, he's probably communicating from the 95% uh subconscious. Oh, he's probably not setting up boundaries, or he is setting up unhealthy boundaries from the 95% unconscious. Like every pillar, I'm thinking, yeah, that's probably motivated from not understanding again who is Brian and what makes Brian tick and what created Brian. And once you understand that, and and and a lot of people, I mean, Brian, that takes some that is some really deep soul searching, really surgery, right? Like you've got like you gotta cut out the cancer. First, you've got to cut yourself open, then you've got to expose yourself, cut the cancer out. None of it is simple, none of it is easy, none of it is pain-free. But then if you can cut the cancer out, now you're healthy. Like, and then all the other things, just like you're describing the other pillars, well, now you're coming from a place where you're not coming from a place of codependency, you're not coming from a place of dominance, you're not coming from a place of you know defensiveness, you're not coming from a place of feeling dismissed, you're not coming from those places and you're going, hey, I mean, for example, I I I am I am an extreme boundary person. I love setting up healthy boundaries. I set them up all over the place. Um, one of them, one of them, so my my one of them, my wife and I were having a lot of issues communicating, and we're both communication experts, but we were having communication problems, and all I did, Brian, was I set up one small little healthy boundary that changed our communication. You know what it was? We do not communicate about anything of importance. So we're not talking about we're not talking about vacation plans, we're not talking about uh money, we're not talking about the kids, nothing, we're not talking about our relationship, we're not talking about anything of importance after 7 p.m. Because after 7 p.m., you know what? We've had dinner, we've maybe we're in a relaxed state, and maybe, maybe had a little something to drink, possibly. And guess what? Now you're winding down, and that is not the time to engage and start making important decisions. And usually that's and so you know, then as the night goes on and you're now you're starting to get tired. Well, then that's where you're just like, oh, this conversation again, then you can get defensive. Then you're then you're not hearing to learn, you're listening to defend. And so, I mean, that was creating a lot of issues. So I said, okay, look, look, and I said, new rule. We're not discussing anything of importance after 7 p.m. Yeah. Oh my gosh, it has changed the entire dynamic of our conversation. And so the other thing is we don't talk of anything of importance first thing in the morning. Like, you got to have a couple cups of coffee, you got to get a little coherent. So we just put some boundaries around when we will communicate. And you know what? It's like changed so much, just setting that up.
Bryan Power:Yeah, I love that. So it sounds like you guys know how to communicate. You were just doing it at the wrong time sometimes. So now you now you have both. You just know how to do it, and now you have a good time frame as when to do it, and that's that's great.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. And then and then we're not then we're not fighting all the other, just the other logistics of life, right? Like those are just logistics of life. Um, and so so yeah, as as you were talking about that, I'm like, yep, that's and and and it, and it's funny. There's sometimes and sometimes, you know, life just happens. And I remember a couple weeks ago, we're laying in bed and we just start talking, and next thing you know, it's like, why are you yelling at me? I'm not yelling at you. And the first thing I looked over at the clock, I'm like, we're done talking about this, it's after seven o'clock. And like, I said, we can talk about this tomorrow. Well, guess what? When tomorrow came, you know what, it didn't really matter. Yes, like you know, because we were just tired and it was a stressful day, and so when we talked about that particular issue, it sort of just were snowballed, and then we weren't again, we weren't listening to learn, we were just uh defending ourselves, yeah. And and so um yeah, it's you know, so so yeah, I mean, boundaries, communication, um, but yeah, all of it goes back to those core wounds, which you've gotta do that, and so many people just don't want to face that because it is scary. Um it is it is it is scary, but it's such it's it's such a healthy place to live if you if if if you really want to live there. And the you know, you know, divorce rate, you know, they always you know, everyone always throws out says, oh yeah, you know, one in two marriages end in divorce. Yeah, if you're not paying attention and you don't have the tools, and if you're not looking to actually fix it, right? But what people don't talk about is second marriages and third marriages, where the divorce rate is exponentially increased. And it's because, just like you're saying, you're not looking at the core wounds, you're not looking at your communication, your boundaries, we're not looking at those six pillars, and so you're taking the the dysfunctional, broken you that you didn't heal the first time into now another relationship, and then and then of course it's always like, oh, well, them and you're pointing the fingers. It's like, yeah, but what's the common denominator here? You yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bryan Power:A lot of times, if you don't heal that wound, that's right, you just end up going repeating the pattern with somebody else. And that's why it's so important to you know heal that heal that stuff and fix this because you you don't want to continue the pattern. And honestly, and unless you fix it, you're just hurting yourself too. You know, a lot of this is pain, and you're going through this, you know, going through life in a in a just a horrible way. Even if you manage to have you know somebody in your life for a length of time, it it's not optimal. It's like that, it's like the car that gets you to work, but barely, you know, like or would you want a nice, soup up, you know, nice, really beautiful car that luxury just pulls in real sweet and nice, right? I'd rather drive a real nice luxury car to work than some clunker that just barely makes it there, right? So that's the thing. You don't want to have an unhealthy relationship. Even if you manage to stay together, it's not gonna be great. Um, you want a great relationship. You want one that actually feels great on a daily basis, you know how to work through problems, you know how to communicate, you have the tools, man. It's like, hey, if you know that your car is gonna break down, but you know how to fix it and you have the tools to fix it, are you worried about your car breaking down? No, you're gonna be pretty good shape. Yeah. So that's the keys, man. Get get the tools, learn how to do this stuff, and you'll be surprised at how great, you know, that that thing will ride in there, you know, ride to work.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and and you know, uh, life is short. You want to you want to do you just want to survive or do you want to thrive? That's right. And and what you're saying is, you know, doing the work and and and re going through these six pillars and looking at yourself and going through the attachment styles, you cannot just just like you say, you're like, okay, you get from point A to point B. Okay, we made it through another day together without killing each other. Or do you want to be like, man, today was another amazing day with you? I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings, right?
Bryan Power:Yeah, and it sounds crazy. It sounds it sounds like for some people that that's not possible, but I promise you it is. And and the reason you think it may not be possible is because you've never seen it, you've never experienced it, and you don't know how to get there. So sometimes to somebody like that, it just seems like that's not really possible, but it is. It is very possible, I promise you.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. And so, and so with and and having someone like you, that number one, this is not just, oh yeah, yeah, I found this and I like to do it. No, you found it, you've you've lived through it, you've applied it, and now you're inspired by it to teach and train and empower others. Um, I guess for the for for for those listening, you know, uh, because because the first thing that I'm thinking of right now as we're talking is, okay, timeline. Like, how long are we really, you know, how long does this take? Is it is it is it microwave or is it actually like, you know, farming, right? But I think a lot of it depends on the individual. Like, you know, how fast do you want to identify and start to heal, or do or do you need to go slow? And I guess with the people that you're coaching, it all depends on the individual. Is that I mean, is that right?
Bryan Power:Yeah, 100%. Yeah, it definitely depends on the individual and how willing they're ready, how how ready are they to actually learn and grow and change? And and are they a sponge right now, just taking in the information and and utilizing that and actually being, and that's where I think for me, I was lucky. I had the gift of desperation. It was kind of a crazy time. I was just a sponge, man. I just wanted to soak it up and and get all this and and make the changes as as much as possible. But everybody can work on different levels. Absolutely. And even with all the work I've done, I mean, I would say this is an ongoing process, probably for the rest of my life. I want to continue to grow. It's not like it's not like I've arrived and I can just coast forever. No, I've gotten I've gotten a pretty good spot and I have some really great tools, but that's not to say that other situations won't arise in life, difficulties, what have you. Um, I just want to make sure that I'm as prepared as possible to navigate through those. But yeah, some people, uh you know, with I always say this so within a couple of weeks to a couple of months, you can see some really great changes if you just apply yourself. So if you're applying yourself literally within a couple of weeks, you can start to feel the changes, and then within a couple of months, you can have some really great changes, and then from there, at least you're getting into a decent spot, and then yeah, you can continue to do the work, continue to kind of improve on that, but at least you've got yourself to a point of you know, that the car is is the car is now running, the car is going to get you to work and then you're at least a little bit better, then continue to improve it, right? Continue to make it better as you go. But um, yeah, I think a couple of weeks to a couple of months, you can really do some incredible stuff.
Matthew Brickman:And this is so much, again, you know, you're not doing it to manipulate the situation to try to get the other person because at this point you're going, I'm letting it go and I'm gonna work on me. But I also see so many benefits to this outside of a personal relationship. Because if you are, if Brian is being fine-tuned, well, then guess what? Brian is not only the best version of himself as a husband, but also as a father, as an employee, or as an employer, as a friend, as a son, as a brother. Like this can just change because you learn how to identify, like, again, if you can go back to and feel uh heal the core wounds, then you're able to communicate with your coworkers or your neighbors or your kids. I mean, like you become like this, isn't like, okay, well, I need to learn this so that I can save my marriage or be a better, you know, uh person for my spouse, girlfriend, boyfriend, whatever. No, this is so you can be a better human on this planet.
Bryan Power:Yeah. Right? Yeah, it's absolutely you're healing yourself, and then that spills over into all the other relationships. So it's not just your spouse. You're right. This goes with your family members, your friends, your coworkers. How do I handle those situations? How do I communicate to all these different people in my life and kind of utilize this information and all those aspects? So it's really fantastic in uh in all those regards. You're right. And and how much better your life becomes when you're able to kind of have healthier, better relationships with all those people that are in your life, your family, your friends, your coworkers, all these people. Now you're having genuine uh connections. You're not just having you know these fake uh you know type of super interesting, yeah, superficial type stuff. It it's it's more real, it's more, you know, it's really fulfilling more. Um, it just becomes fantastic. It's really like an overspill into everything, but you gotta heal yourself. That is the first relationship you have to heal is the one to yourself. And then getting the tools in this program gives you some different ways to kind of do some things that that can, you know, kind of again work in different situations for everybody for sure.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah. Well, and and I I'm I'm just in my mind, I'm just building this out even more. That, yeah, okay, fine, you're a better person emotionally and com you know, with your communication and boundaries and and all of that. But I mean, I can imagine just hearing your excitement and knowing what you've been through. I mean, good golly, your stress level's got to be like almost non-existent as well, which also then affects your body, potential health issues, medication. Like there are just so many benefits to healing up emotionally that doesn't just spill over. I mean, the more we talk, I'm going, okay, yeah, oh yeah, yeah, you're better, better in your relationship. Wait a second, you're better as an employee. Wait a second. Your health and stress levels have just gotten plummeted to where you can enjoy this life.
Bryan Power:Yes, a whole uh that is such great. You're so right, Matthew. That is that is one thing I also learned is how much the body holds on to the stress. And so here we are, subconsciously, all these wounds are are they're destroying our relationship, but they're also destroying our bodies, they're destroying our everything about it. And so, yeah, right. The more we heal all this stuff, the more the body can relax and let go of that tension and that stress. And stress is a killer, man. Stress is what causes disease. And so, um, and I saw that come out. Like I saw a lot of, I had a lot of that stuff going on exactly. So um, there's a great book called The Body Keeps the Score, talks about this type of stuff. Um, but yeah, yeah, the more we heal the emotional side, the more we heal the physical side as well, and it really works synergistically for sure.
Matthew Brickman:So so where can people find you, get you for coaching? Like how to how do people find you?
Bryan Power:Yeah, yeah. My website is a is the best place to go. Yeah, just just go to my website, make your relationshipfail.com or myrelationshipfail.com. They both take you to the same website. Um, and you can really uh I'm in the process of fixing this website a little bit, so if you catch me in in between, but um you can take the attachment style quiz there for free. That's a fun thing to do. Okay. Um and then I always challenge everybody to join the personal development school through my website. I want to give you a free session there as well. So you're gonna learn a lot of stuff. If you join the personal development school, that is uh Tys Gibson School. There's a treasure trove of videos, workbooks, and everything else in there that we can do. Um and then with that, I want you to schedule a time with me. I want to hear your story. I want to give you a free session where I can you know listen to what's going on and see if I can point you in the right direction. Direction, give you a little assistance in that. If uh if you decide you want to continue with me, by all means, we can talk about how we can do that. But if nothing else, I want to give you at least an hour of my time and see if we can point you in the right direction, give you some answers. So go to my website, though. It all starts there at myrelationshipfail.com or make your relationshipfail.com.
Matthew Brickman:That's awesome. That's awesome. All right, so um we're gonna do we're gonna do some lightning questions. Okay. Uh-oh. Let me give you a couple of lightning questions. Uh-oh, here we go. All right. So um actually, let me ask you this before before I ask you the lightning questions. So is is this your job? Like, is this what you do? Is is you know, help people with attachment theory, or do you do something else?
Bryan Power:Or yeah, no, just a little bit about you. Yeah, this is becoming my full-time job for sure. I'm a sales guy. Uh yeah, I do other sales stuff, but and I was in the I was doing life insurance in the nudes and stuff. Uh, but really, this is my passion. This has become my love. This is something that I feel like I was I went through everything I went through here for a reason, and uh, and I feel like I have a lot to offer. And uh, I'm on a mission, really, honestly, just to save as many relationships as I possibly can. So this is my mission, this is my goal, and it also getting in tune with my needs, my own personal needs, I realized how much I really love contribution and contributing to people and and into other people's lives and stuff like that. So I was in the fitness business for almost 20 years. I really loved it. Um when I got out of that, I went for jobs that were all about the money. You know, I was trying to make more money, and now I realize that you know what, making money, it's okay. We make money. My wife and I make money. Um, but you know what? I want to contribute more. That's more important to me than anything else. I want to leave a legacy of healing and helping other people. Um, so I'm on a mission to literally just save as many relations as possible. And yes, I'm looking to make this more my full-time job and not do anything other than this 100%.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah, yeah. So and and and and you know, it it's so refreshing talking with you because, you know, so many people ask, and and I did for for many years. I asked, I, you know, I asked the wrong question. Many a times I say, if you ask the wrong question, you'll get the wrong answer. Or you may get no answer, right? And I kept asking, I kept asking the question, why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? Why is this happening to me? And I didn't get any answers for years because I was I was living in what I call Victimville. And Victimville is a nice place to visit, you just don't want to reside there, right? Like, okay, fine, this happened to me. I was a victim. All right, let me now get the tools and get out. And that's what you're here to do is give the tools so you don't have to reside in Victimville. You can move out, create a new space. But when I started then asking, but then one day I said, and I changed the question. Instead of, well, why is this happening to me? I asked myself, all right, what am I supposed to learn from this? Oh my gosh, Brian, the information just started spilling because all of a sudden it was like, oh, well, you're supposed to learn this, and supposed to learn this, and supposed to learn this, and supposed to learn this. And then everything that I went through, oh, it was to help me then help others not be me. And that's exactly what I hear you saying is you know, you went through these difficult times with your wife. You guys put in the hard work, and now you're like, you know what? They always say it's lonely at the top, right? And you're like, look, you and your wife made it. Why do we have to sit at the pinnacle with all the information? It's lonely at the top. You know what? You're like a tour guide. You're gonna come down off the mountain, you're gonna grab people and help them get off, get get to the top, and then you're gonna come down and you're like you're you're you're a perpetual tour guide, right? Yeah, yeah.
Bryan Power:I truly I truly believe that the experience I went through was for a reason, and and that is that reason is to help others get through this. I I used to think that um I was going through these challenges because I was being punished. I always felt like I was being punished. And the truth is never being punished, I'm being blessed. I'm being given a chance to you know learn and grow and change from that and to be blessed. The blessing comes on the other side of that challenge. So if you're being challenged right now, if you feel like you're in a place where you're just like life is so difficult and stressful and all this stuff, you're being given an opportunity to learn and grow so that you can be better on the other side. And when you come out on the other side, you feel stronger, you feel you, you know more, you have more knowledge, you have more wisdom, you have more tools and all this other stuff. And now you look so I look at challenges now as a blessing. I no longer look at them as a as a uh uh you know being punished or anything like that. It's a blessing to go through this. And I promise you, you don't want to be in a relationship for 20, 30 years. That's unhealthy, that's not good. So you're being a given chance to fix it. You're being a given a great chance to fix whatever's going on here and move move the needle in a good direction, right? So it's a blessing.
Matthew Brickman:All right, so so I think you've answered lightning question round number one without me even answering the question. So here's the question: What's your dream job?
Bryan Power:Yeah, yeah, my my dream job right now, honestly, is just you're right, to continue to share this message. Um, I'd love to, I think, speak uh in front of like larger groups and be able to share this message to you know, maybe 100 people at a time, you know, something like that. Um, but yeah, this is this has become a dream job for me. It's funny because the nightmare that I went through before is now becoming, again, such a blessing uh being on the other side of this. And now it's it's such a joy when I'm able to share some information and help other people um learn what I've learned and see that they're getting some results. Like it's it's a it's an awesome experience.
Matthew Brickman:Yeah, yeah. Sorry, so so question one, you you you got that. You're living your dream job. All right, number two, favorite type of music? What do you listen to?
Bryan Power:Favorite, sorry, favorite type of music? I lost you a little bit there. Favorite type of music?
Matthew Brickman:Yeah, yeah.
Bryan Power:Man, I'm I'm I'm a I'm a Christian, so I do like some good Christian music. Um, but otherwise, I just like some good, maybe old old time rock and roll stuff. You know, Billy Joel's kind of like one of my you know, guys that I really like listening to, I guess. But other than that, some just good uplifting spiritual music is great for me, you know. Yep.
Matthew Brickman:All right, Christian music. Who are you listening to?
Bryan Power:Oh, my favorite hands down is always third day. That's that's my that's my favorite.
Matthew Brickman:Third day. I love third day. My wife loves third day. Yeah, yeah. They're my favorite. So yeah, he's got such an amazing voice, does he not?
Bryan Power:Yeah, I love I love their style, I love their stuff. Otherwise, I love uh for for uh Forgotten Country, I think it was. It's Forgotten Country. Yeah, they have some great stuff, especially on the holidays. They do a rendition of drummer boy that's unbelievable.
Matthew Brickman:Drummer boy, yeah. Yeah, that's but both my wife and and my daughter and her husband. Um my daughter's husband, my my son-in-law, he's uh he's a musician um at uh at their church. And he's and so yeah, he loves for king and country. That's one for king and country. Yeah, yep, for king and country. All right, number three. Uh number three, favorite type of food.
Bryan Power:Well, hands down be uh uh go ahead.
Matthew Brickman:No, no, no. Favorite type of food.
Bryan Power:Oh, hands down is Italian food. I've got I've got some Sicilian in me, and uh, I'm a big Italian food guy. Throw, throw some, uh, throw some uh little, you know, anything anything with cheese and sauce is gonna be good for me. Pass that though, I will take a good steak. A good juicy steak is all right.
Matthew Brickman:All right, good. All right, so moving on with food. If you could have a meal with one person, living or dead, who would it be and why?
Bryan Power:Oh man, I'd I of course I'd love to. As a Christian, I'll always take Jesus, right? I'd love to sit there and break bread with uh you know with him, right? And really just understand and be able to look him face to face. And you know, my hope is obviously someday we will, but uh like man, you'll get that one day. Yeah, right. To be able to do that right now, like if you're gonna give me one person, that'd definitely be the one I'd choose, you know.
Matthew Brickman:Great, that's awesome. All right, so last one, here we go. Um, all right, first off, before I ask this, you said you're in Massachusetts, right? All right, so here's here's the question. If you could live anywhere in the world with your family, where would you live and why would you live there?
Bryan Power:Boy, that's a great, that's a great question. That's a great question. You know, I I'm a Florida guy. I spent almost 25 years in Florida, and I love my deep sea fishing and love getting out here just you know catching some fish and love being on the on the beach a little bit and the weather's kind of pretty good. Um, I would definitely take there as a maybe maybe a first or second. I'm not sure. I've really fallen in love with the Boston area. I live in the Boston area. Uh Boston's my favorite city in the world, and I love New England. It's it's absolutely beautiful up here. Um, you know, we got those you know few months here where it gets a little bit cold, but uh there's nothing better, I think, than in the spring, the summer, and the fall up here. It's absolutely gorgeous. And so it's kind of hard to beat this here in the wintertime. My dream would actually be to spend my spring, summer, and fall up here and then shoot down to Florida for a few months and ride out the winters down there. That is kind of like the ultimate dream. So I'd have to choose both of those.
Matthew Brickman:Both of them. And both is okay. You don't have to have one place. Fair enough. Um, so both is okay. So uh but Brian, it has been an absolute pleasure speaking with you, and uh um I just thank you so much for your wisdom. Uh, just the joy that just emanates from you, and just uh I'm just so grateful for uh coming on and just uh hopefully hey everybody, uh Brian, again, tell them how to find you.
Bryan Power:Just yeah, one more time. If anybody wants to connect with me, I uh I'd love to connect with you. I I'd love to connect with people. I love, like I said, I love helping people, whatever I can do to you know give you some some pearls of wisdom or anything, just share my own experience with you on a personal level. Just go to my website, though, make your relationship fail.com or myrelationship fail.com. Um, book an appointment with me and let's uh let's connect. Let's see what we can do, and let's see if we can get you some answers and see if we can move the needle in a healthier direction for you. Let's get you on this side there. You're just really enjoying your days and your life again and and having great relationships. That's the goal.
Matthew Brickman:Well, again, I greatly appreciate you coming on, and uh uh hopefully we'll we'll talk soon.
Bryan Power:Sounds good, Matthew. Thank you so much for having me on. It's been an honor. Thank you so much. Hope we can do it again sometime.
Sydney Mitchell:If you have a comment or question regarding anything that we discuss, email us at info@ichatmediation.com that's info@ichatmediation.com and stay tuned to hear your shout out and have your question answered here on the show.show.
Matthew Brickman:For more information about my services or to schedule your mediation with me, either in person or using my iChatMediation Virtual Platform built by Cisco Communications. Visit me online at www.iMediateInc.com. Call me at 561-262-9121, Toll-Free at 877-822-1479 or email me at MBrickman@iChatMediation.com.iChatMediation.com.