Cute little packages

Are you surprised you are worried late at night? 

Are you surprised your kid pissed you off again by not eating his food?

Are you totally surprised by whatever reaction you’re having to the same thing that happened last week?

 If that’s the case listen to this episode because you will definitely have one of these packages and I believe it is our job to get to know our little packages so that we’re no longer surprised

Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

Hey guys, how are you? I just got my nails done. They're kind of French with some sparkle and also I have red toes, so I'm really excited, feel really nice. And I want to talk to you about your little thought packages today. I really love this because it's super helpful. And I even shared it with my nine-year-old and he said it was really helpful. So I'll just tell you the story of what happened with my nine-year-old and then kind of go from there. So he was... not feeling great before bed one night and he was scared of some things and worried and dreading like having a bad dream and I told him that this happens to me as well when I'm tired each time before bed that I have you know these thoughts I would have I'll be scared I'll be I would be, you know, afraid of losing somebody, you know, I would just have like these negative thoughts. And I said, you know, this is just what happens when I'm tired. So, so every time that happens, I just kind of, um, recognize it for what it is oh these are just my tired thoughts and then I think okay because I'm because I'm having them that I just need to take myself to bed and I'm sure you've heard me talk about this before on the podcast but I actually expanded it even further and I believe that all of us have all these packages for each topic and there I call them thought packages and Like we would have a package for each kid and we would have a package for like tired thoughts and And we would have a package about our job, a thought package. We would have a thought package about aging. We would have a thought package about our husband. We would have a thought package about, you know, grocery shopping. And what I mean by a thought package is that we actually have a limited amount of thoughts that we think each time about a topic. So it could be anywhere between three to five. seven really predominant thoughts. And then we have like a related family thoughts. So we would be like thoughts that are related to these seven. It would be similar feeling to them, similar kind of family of thoughts. But the predominant ones are three, five, seven thoughts. There really are not a lot of thoughts, actually. If you actually take a look at them, you actually find out that they're actually... very few of them and they're the same each time about the same topic as we get older and that's what really actually helps me realize that this is just a pattern of mine to have these each time this topic comes up and then it's up to me to really decide what to do with them For example, with the tiredness, you know, I just kind of go, okay, it's just starting to have to take myself to bed. Then I have thoughts about my podcast. And it took me a while to see that, the thoughts, right? So I would have thoughts before recording. I now would have thoughts afterward. And some of them would be, you know, worried or doubt, you know, or doubt that it was any good, worry that nobody likes it. But... As the time goes on and I see them for what it is and I learn to answer them, it helps me not to react to them next time. And I also make a conclusion. Oh, you know what? This is just what it means to have a podcast. It means that I have all these thoughts. I have worries. I have doubts about it. Just like what I have about my kids, right? I have my worries about them. I have my doubts. And... That's just what it means to have a child. It doesn't mean it's always great. And that's just the package that I have. Okay. So I can either react to it and get really caught up in the worry, in the doubt and really spin out and really, you know, get really frozen up. You can really get frozen up in the doubt and stop recording, stop helping, stop doing what it is that you really love and allow the thoughts and the feelings to drive you. your freeze state or you can just see them for what they are oh this is just what comes up for me when I am pursuing my dreams when I'm helping people when I'm putting myself out there that is risky and dangerous feels dangerous but that's okay this is just what happens and this is happens to me every single time so I don't need to worry about it same thing with getting tired happens to me every day um But I want us to think about that we have a package like that about everything. And so if our goal is to get to know our thought packages, then we get to know them and then we become less reactive to them. We become more in charge. And then we can really kind of decide how do we want to actually react to this topic. And I actually wrote down something. This was a while ago, and I just read it, and it made me laugh. One second. So what I wrote down was idiot thoughts. So, for example, why am I so upset about this imperfect moment? Or, like, am I an idiot? Or... Do I just want to be the best at this and I have very high standards? For example, if I get really upset about not being a perfect mom and I get super upset, then I can beat myself up and think, oh my God, I'm such an idiot. Terrible mother. Terrible. I'm so bad. So that's one thought package. But as I became aware of it, it became clear. funny because I related it to being a surgeon. For example, if I'm a surgeon and I did an imperfect job at the surgery, and I am really upset about that. Well, would I still think I'm an idiot about being upset about this imperfection? No, I would just think, oh my gosh, I just want to be the best surgeon ever. This is what this job requires. And I would just make it mean something good about me. So I don't need to really, you know, being a mom is not a surgeon, yes, but I also don't need to beat myself up about being upset, right? So that's what I wrote down, idiot thoughts. So then there's a package called self-criticism package and it will pretty much, it will have the exact same thoughts every single time, right? Like, oh my God, I'm old and fat. I'm an idiot. Everyone thinks I'm stupid, something like that. And so you need to get to know your packages and see them for what they are. For example, if you have an issue with not working out, you will have that criticism package and beat yourself up with the exact same thoughts each time. And the crazy part to me is that Most of these thoughts are unconscious, subconscious thoughts. We don't even see them. We don't even hear them, but we feel them. How do we feel them? We feel super shitty. We feel bad. Sorry, I dropped my microphone. By the way, did you notice my quality of audio went up? I finally got myself a new mic for the car for you guys. I'm sorry if my audio was terrible before, but I'm just recording in my mom's office, which is the car. So that's what I love about this whole coaching thing. What I learned from coaching is that I love exposing my thought packages so I can then change them. And the awareness just grows, right? And I hope that as you listen to me, you also become more aware of your own thought packages. And then once we're aware of them, then they just, I find, they just transform on their own. Because we instantly... see, do we want this or do we not want that? Oh, why am I thinking that? Oh my gosh, wow. Or we think, oh wow, this is a good thought. And we've become pretty proud of ourselves. So I hope this is helpful to you guys. I would love to hear how this one lands for you. So don't be afraid to discover terrible, terrible thoughts about yourself because this is just information we're gathering. And Knowing, discovering these thoughts is more than half the job done. It's really, you're really so close to really letting go of that thought because you have discovered it. You might even need to discover just that one time to really let it go because you will see how ridiculous it is and how untrue it is as soon as you look at it consciously. So that's kind of the whole fun part of it is seeing that transformation and realizing, wow, I can't believe I even thought that about myself. That's not even true. Just like when my brain offered to me that I don't cook at the same day that I actually cooked three meals. Like if I was unconscious to that thought, I would have kept on believing that I don't cook. And I would have kept on cooking and believing that I don't cook. And when I would do that, right, I would believe that unconsciously, I would also feel bad, right? I wouldn't feel a sense of accomplishment. I would feel maybe embarrassed or ashamed or whatever sort of bad feeling that happens. That's what I would feel. So I'm glad I uncovered it. And I'm glad now I am a very proud cooking mama. All right, guys. I love you all. Write to me. I'd love to hear from you. Have a great day and I'll talk to you next time.