What if you are jealous of your kid?

What if you’re jealous of your kid?

Is it normal to be jealous of your kid? What do you do? Do you judge yourself? Do you move on? Do you pretend you’re not jealous? Listen to this episode to work through that with me together

Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book Jackie from Intermittent Fasting Foodie has inspired me to try OMAD or eating one meal a day and i am loving it so far!

Gin Stephens is the other awesome lady who inspired both of us, check out her book Delay, Don't Deny and her other book

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

How are you today? I hope you like parenting because you have another kid and I have another kid and that is ourselves. Here's what happened. So my oldest is 13, and that's grade 8, and he's going to grade 9 next year. And in our school, they have pretty fancy field trips that they take, and they presented us with options for next year where we have to make decisions where our child's going to go next year. And the trips are quite... from my perspective, like, you know, France, Spain, Portugal, New York City. So I found that I had some emotions about that, which surprised me. I wanted to judge them and I did judge myself a bit, but also I found myself that I needed to parent myself in terms of a child in me felt upset. The child in me felt like, what about me? I didn't go on trips like that when I was little. That's not fair. I'm upset. I want to go as well. And it went in this circle. Remember those cute little packages? That's the package. This is my package. What about me? It's quickly realize well I don't know if quickly realize but I realized that this is legitimate this is what is going on for me and I need to allow this kind of recognize it and comfort myself and just simply parent myself most of the time I don't even need to do anything except for just listen and just acknowledge what's going on and the other thing I want to kind of share with you is that if that's happening with you for you know that that's normal that's okay that comes up and also it comes up in waves so you might think it comes up once and you're done with it it doesn't necessarily have to be true for me it comes in waves every time the subject comes up or if i'm feeling tired that might come up as my weak weakness or um As the topic comes up, that same thought package will come up. Unless we work through it, unless we feel it, right? So as I'm going through it, I'm seeing a change and shift and it feels different. And now I'm trying to figure out, okay, so how can I comfort my child and child? I'm really trying to tell my child that we could do this if we wanted to. If we really wanted to go do this, I could figure it out and I could take you to these places. But the reality is I actually don't want to do this because my priorities lie in my kids now, my family, and that's more important than going on a trip. I've gone on trips, I've gone to Europe, and I think I would just enjoy it more when my priorities are not with the kids you know that's the truth for me right now and if i really really want to then that's more of a conversation with my husband that you know maybe him and i could make that work for our yearly time together or not yearly whenever but it's not something that's unavailable to me and i have to really talk as a parent to my child to to tell her, you know, we can do this. I can do this for you. And you don't need to carry this from when I was little. Because growing up in Russia, I came to Canada when I was 13. And I remember in Russia, our school was an English intensive school. So we studied English every day as opposed to once a week as other schools. And some classes, some people got to go to London, England on a field trip. And I never got to go for some reason. I guess we didn't have the money. And I just always felt so jealous of those kids who did get to go that I guess it never really healed. And so it came up now for me. And this is... I had to really parent myself as another child. And it came in waves. So I thought I would share with you so you would not feel alone in case you're also going through a totally childish reaction. And I even told my husband, I said, I'm feeling like a child here. I'm jealous. This is not fair. I want to go there, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he said, yeah, you are. You are acting like a child. And I think it's legitimate. We are... children inside as well as adults. And so that's the beauty of it. We can help ourselves. So there you go. Hopefully this helps you be a child and feel all the terrible emotions that the child would feel and also parent yourself, you know, the way you want to parent yourself. And really when I say parent, I think it's more comfort, you know, comfort and really just reassure the child that we can take care of them. We can get them what they want. They can have it as well. And what do they really want, you know? So there you go. There you have it. Parenting and other child. So when I really legitimately say I take care of six people, I take care of six people, including my own child and my adult self. Okay, guys, have a great day. I love you. Hope this helps. Bye.