E 224 Why Coaching Could Be Your Teen’s Turning Point

🎙️ Welcome to The Anxiety Maze Navigator Podcast!

In this episode, we dive into the power of coaching for teens and young adults dealing with anxiety. Discover how coaching can help your teen:
✅ Feel understood and supported in their journey
✅ Learn practical strategies to manage anxiety
✅ Unlock their strengths and navigate challenges with confidence

As a parent, you’ll gain valuable insights into how coaching differs from therapy and why it could be a turning point for your family has been looking for.

If you’re ready to explore how coaching can empower your teen to thrive, don’t miss this episode!

🔗 Resources Mentioned:

Free Anxiety Audit Session: 
https://calendly.com/ccoufal/60-minute-consult

Follow me on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/cynthiacoufalcoaching/?hl=en

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Have a question about coaching or anxiety? Drop it in the comments below, or reach out directly.
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#TeenAnxiety #ParentingTeens #CoachingForTeens #AnxietySupport #MentalHealthTips

 Struggling with anxiety in your family? If anxiety is causing tension, fights, or disconnect in your home, you don’t have to face it alone. I help parents bring more peace, confidence, and connection to their families. Let’s talk—schedule a free consultation today or email me: ccoufal@cynthiacoufalcoaching.com

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Transcript

 Hi, thank you for joining me for the Teen Anxiety Maze today. I have a lot of parents that contact me and we have great conversations and they so desperately want me to work with their child, but they have to convince their child to want to do it. And my I've talked on here before about what a life coach is, but I thought, I don't know that I've like talked about it and spoke to the team exactly.

What this is all about. And so I thought to help the parents out a little bit, because many of them are like, how do I get them want to talk to you? And truthfully, I do an exit interview after my clients have worked with me for 12 weeks. Some of them continue. It doesn't have to just be 12 weeks, but at the end of the 12 weeks, we, you know, evaluate, how did it go so far?

What's going on? What do you want to do? [00:01:00] And I always ask my clients, why did you want to work with me? And they all say I didn't. And first it's like, it's a little bit of a, an ego kick when they're like, this is not what I wanted to do. But when they worked with me, when they met me and we talked, they were like, Oh my gosh, this is exactly where I want to be.

And I have many of my clients re enroll just because they love having someone to talk to, an adult who can help guide them through. a lot of things and it's not their parent. I've often thought about using the tagline, a voice your teen will hear or a voice your teen will listen to. And it's so true because I'm a parent.

I know I have an agenda for my kids. I want them to be certain people. I want them to have certain values. I want them to have certain jobs, all those things, because that's [00:02:00] just kind of how it goes with parenting. And I, I do allow my kids to be who they are, and there's no like, I'm not mean to them about it, but in my head, there are things that I want, and as a parent, there are things that you desperately want for your children, and you should desperately want those things, but there is an energy that comes with that, that your teen can feel, and so when they, when you really want them to get it.

Good grades and you really want them to be a doctor and you really want them to go out for wrestling and you really Want them to do whatever and they're unsure of that or feel uneasy about it They don't feel like they can talk to you about that because they know what you want and either they don't want to disappoint you or they're being a typical teenager and trying to be Trying to individuate away from you and maybe not have your values, or maybe not want to be a wrestler, or maybe not want [00:03:00] to be in the choir or whatever, even though maybe they kind of do, but because you want it, they don't.

And that's just part of what happens with teens and parents, and that's okay, but you need parents. You need that ally, that support, somebody that can help you get the message across to them. And teens need to have some adult. Mentor that they are talking to and getting advice from or support from or encouragement from that isn't their parent.

And sometimes isn't even someone at their school or someone that's a coach, because those people also, cause I was a school counselor. I kind of had an agenda for my kids at school. Like I wanted them to pass their classes and be the most successful people they can be. And I want those things for my clients too.

But. It just comes across differently when I'm a little bit, [00:04:00] I'm a step removed away from those things. And so I think this episode, I, this isn't exactly what I was planning to do, but I really feel like I want this to be, I want to do like this message just to your teen. So you can kind of fast forward through this stuff if you are like, I want my teen.

To want to work with Cynthia, but I don't know how to talk about it. I don't know how to get them on board. So I'm going to like speak to your team about what this is all about. And then I'll end the episode kind of just, you know, in general, different things, but I just think it might be helpful to you when you're not really sure how to get them to buy into it.

And obviously I. I'm not going to connect with a hundred percent of every teen in this whole world. Like there's going to be some teen that's going to talk to me and be like, she is not for me. That is not, [00:05:00] that doesn't work for me. And that's okay. I have worked with many different coaches in my life because coaching is really important to me.

And I always have a coach and I've had different ones cause I kind of like to mix it up and try different things. And I get coaching on different types of things and people are, are great. Experts in different fields. And so I kind of move that around. But there are some coaches that I am super comfortable with and I love everything about them.

And there are some coaches that I'm like, well, their information is good, but I don't really want to set on a one on one conversation with them. And, and so that is, that's normal. And we want. Your team to want to do this, that they want to talk to me. Cause if they don't want to do this work, it makes it too hard.

And it's not that we don't keep encouraging them and keep, keep the conversation open that they can work with [00:06:00] someone. So you may have to, there may be a delay and have patients and them wanting to do this because at some point they're going to suffer enough or struggle enough that they're going to be like, okay, I'll take some help.

I'll take somebody. working with me when maybe they're not feeling it just yet. You know, you're noticing it, but maybe they're not. But I thought I'll just like do kind of a little, uh, for your information or the more, you know, kind of a conversation to help them decide that maybe they'll at least have a conversation with me because obviously.

In real life, one to one on zoom or whatever is the best way to help them make that decision. But maybe I can say a few things here that could help you. So, um, this is what I want to say to your teens.

I work with young people mostly on [00:07:00] anxiety, but really I work on every kind of problem that anyone could have. And truthfully, my clients every week come to me with all sorts of things. Like sometimes when they get on the call, they're like, Oh, my boyfriend just texted me and said that they didn't want to be with me anymore.

Or my friends are having a party this weekend and I wasn't invited. Or I have. This professor that I absolutely cannot stand, and they just gave us this 32 page assignment, and I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. Um, just so many things. And so, yes, we're going to work on anxiety. We're going to talk about where does anxiety come from?

How does it manifest for you specifically? What kinds of things about your strengths and your values and your skills and your interests can we use to help you? Manage anxiety in a way that's a little bit more fun for you or something that doesn't [00:08:00] feel like work and drudgery, but there is some work and practice that's involved in it, but those are just good skills to have about every single thing that we're ever going to want to do in the world.

But here's some things I want you to know about coaching. First of all, I believe that every team in the whole world is a hundred percent worthy and lovable from the minute they were born. And while I think that about every human, but, um, working with teens, I believe that they're all 100 percent worthy and amazing and that there isn't anything wrong with you.

I am not diagnosing you with anything. And even if you have diagnoses that you've gotten from somewhere else, and that's fine. There isn't There still isn't anything wrong. You are exactly the way you are supposed to be. And I can help you see all of those amazing things about you that you're probably not sure about or forgot about.

Or you. You're comparing yourself to other [00:09:00] people and seeing where all the flaws are or where all the mistakes that you've made are. But I can see all the good things and I can open those things up to you and show them to you and ask you the right questions to help you see what is so amazing about you.

And one thing that I want you to know is that All of the secrets, all of the power is actually already inside of you. And I know you don't know that because I remember being a teen and I just thought that when I became an adult, all the secret knowledge would all of a sudden come to me. And then when I was an adult, I was like, where's the secret knowledge, but it was inside of me.

I live in Kansas, and so the Wizard of Oz is probably, I mean, everyone knows the Wizard of Oz, but in Kansas, we kind of, it's kind of even more special for us because Dorothy was from Kansas, and we have tornadoes here, and we know all about the power of that. But in that, uh, [00:10:00] In that movie, the characters are going to the wizard of Oz to ask him these life questions, you know, Dorothy wants to figure out how do I get back home and the scarecrow wants to get a brain and the tin woodman wants to get a heart and the lion wants to get courage.

And so they're like, Oh, we have to go to the wizard so we can figure this out. And in the end, they realized that all of that was already inside of them. They just needed to, somebody to show them that stuff. And that's what I'm here for. I'm not the wizard, um, but I am like a wizard, like the person that guides you to the answers that you need.

And so the answers are already inside of you. I'm just going to help you uncover them. I'm going to help you figure out what they are. And if you're curious about this concept about asking the wizard, [00:11:00] I did an episode about it back, uh, episode number 87. If you want to go back and listen to it about how the answers are really inside of you.

I also want you to know that the way you've already been navigating your life makes sense because even though it's causing you suffering and it's not making sense, because a lot of times the, the kids that come to me, their, their families come to me because they maybe aren't wanting to go to school or they aren't wanting to hang out with their friends.

Or they're really worried about the future and like, what's next. And that is all normal to wonder about that stuff or worry about those things. Everyone has worries about those things, but some people push through them and whether they just have a type of personality that they, that feels like they can push through it, or someone has taught them how to do that.

That is the [00:12:00] difference between somebody who. Feels anxious about school, but goes anyway, or someone that feels anxious about school and wants to stay home, or someone that feels nauseous about the speech they have to give, but gives it anyway, or the person who feels nauseous and stays home, like it's just skills to learn.

There isn't anything else that you need to do. Now, I do know that some people's anxiety, whether it's so large that they do need to take medication to kind of calm that down. And that's totally fine too. I work with people who have been to therapy that have medication. I have been to people. I work with people who have never been to therapy.

I work with people who are in therapy right now, and I just work alongside them, but I'm not a therapist. And. I think sometimes young people don't want to see a therapist or even see a coach or counselor because they think, well, that means something's wrong [00:13:00] with me. There is nothing wrong with you. You are just needing to learn some skills like we all need to learn in this world.

And truthfully, All, every one of your classmates needs this information. You're just lucky enough that your parents saw that and are like, Hey, here's a person who can help my child. Some of your classmates, parents don't realize there's any way they're going stumbling around their lives, not understanding what to do.

And no one has been taught these skills. Really much before the last, maybe 10 years. And so people who are life coaches and therapists are, are starting to learn how we can teach these skills in the best way. And our parents weren't taught these things. I wasn't taught these things when I was your age and how amazing, if you can learn this as a young person, before you ever go out into the adult world, how to manage all this stuff, so many things are not going to get in your way that have gotten in the way of other people.

Um, So that's another reason [00:14:00] that you should want this mentoring and this coaching. And if you think about it, if you've ever been involved with any other kind of coaching, like you're in a sport and you have a coach that teaches you or teaches the team how to play the sport, or you have a coach specifically for your pitching.

Or you're spiking or you're whatever. I'm not an athlete, so I'm not sure. I'm sure there might be a kicking coach or, you know, a batting coach, whatever. There's coaches for all these different things. And people don't think a thing about going to them. Like, cause you're gonna. Strengthen your skill of coaching or your, or strengthen your skill of hitting or, uh, the way you play any of the parts of the sport.

Or if you get music lessons to get better at playing the piano or the guitar, or you get a coach to teach you how to get the best score on a test. All of those things are the same thing. Like you're learning a skill that's going to help [00:15:00] you in the future for whatever thing. A life coach, a teen anxiety coach can help you to figure out how to manage anxiety in a different way than maybe you've been taught before.

And somebody that you can talk to each week about all the things in life that create that you feel that anxiety about, and we can talk about how to navigate that, create plans for it. And it just gives you like this freedom to do more things in your life than you ever thought you could. Now, can you figure this out on your own?

Sure. You don't need a coach to figure this stuff out. You can read books. You can listen to podcasts. You can I don't know, like look up how do I deal with this and like read the directions and follow it. But when you have a coach, because I have coaches in my life, and when I have a coach, [00:16:00] I can go through something so much faster.

Because that person knows the tips and tricks and hacks to get through some of the things that I'd have to read through, listen through, figure out, stumble through on my own. And I'd much rather just help you so you can go faster and you can maybe even avoid some of those pitfalls that other people fall into because you have somebody talking you through it and helping you figure it out.

I believe that every single human on this earth needs a coach, not just teens. I think every Every person. And I have a coach all the time to help me with things too. And I'm never not going to have one because it has been so helpful. And there's always transitions and always new things in life that we need to figure out, and you can get different coaches for different areas, or you keep the same coach that helps you through all sorts of [00:17:00] things.

Um, however you want to do it, it's totally fine. But here are some people. This is like some examples of people that I work with. I have D1 athletes, I have people who are going to the most prestigious colleges playing at the highest level and they have doubts about other parts of their life. Maybe they don't even talk to me about the athletic part.

They're talking to me about Their boyfriend or they're talking to me about their school work or they're talking to me about balancing You know their home life and trying to work and trying to be an athlete those kinds of things And there's anxiety that comes up with all of that stuff I have straight A students that want to be straight A students.

I also have straight A students that their parents want them to be straight A students. And I, when I work with my clients, I [00:18:00] work for you. I do not work for your parents. I am not a puppet for your parents. I don't tell you, what your parents want you to hear. Now, I may be saying the same things that your parents say because as adults we know certain things and we've experienced things that you haven't experienced yet, but I don't work for your parents.

So if your parents want you to get straight A's and you can't or don't want to, I'm not going to tell you or try to force you to do any of that stuff. I'm going to help you figure out how to navigate your life for you. But I do have people who are straight A students. So it's not just for people who are failing or having problems.

I have Instagram influencers, people who are out there putting themselves, uh, In front of the public to do a really amazing things, but they have anxiety about that, or they, um, they maybe are struggling with, again, balancing this, [00:19:00] this influencer image and their school image and their parents and their friends and all of the things that go along with, with doing that.

I have cheerleaders as my clients, people who are, uh, competitive cheerleaders, as well as just cheerleaders at their school or both, and trying to manage all the things that they need to do with that. I have world travelers trying to figure it out. I have, I have had this client that she had already graduated from college, but she was still trying to figure out.

What is next? So she was doing some traveling to try to figure out what is the next step. And we made, um, schedules and plans on what's the next step and what should she do? I have people who are stars on their campus stage. You know, they were either the star of the show on the stage or they are, and, or they are also [00:20:00] backstage being the backstage manager and have singers, people who have to put themselves out there and yet they have nerves about it.

I have a client who's a senior in college and she already has signed the paperwork for her first. Full time job when she graduates that doesn't even start until July, but she's already signed the papers because she's so good, but then, and it's a fortune 500 company and she still has like, Oh, but what about this?

And what about this? And what about this? And we just talk about those things. So I want you to feel comfortable that this isn't about, there's something wrong with you or, you know, let's. Figure out all the bad things and try to fix you. Cause I don't want to fix you. You are already exactly the way you're supposed to be.

You're already beautiful and worthy and lovable. And I just want you to know it. You know, sometimes my clients, [00:21:00] like they borrow my belief in them. Before they can believe in themselves. And that's okay. I have to borrow the belief from my coach sometimes when she tells me I can do things. I'm like, Hmm, I'm not sure about that.

And then I find out after, you know, I have to like ruminate on it for a while. I have to think about it. And then I'm like, Oh, I could do that. And like that eye opening time is so beautiful. And I love it when I see it on my client's faces as well, when they finally realize, Oh. I can do that when you thought that you didn't, because we usually are the ones that are in our way from doing the things that we want to do, not other people or other things.

I know as a teen, it feels like your parents are in the way a lot of times and you know, and the teachers and all that, and they can get in the way of some of the things that we want to do. But let me be that person that can talk you through that and help you figure out what is really going on here. So if you [00:22:00] want someone to be in your corner that has unwavering belief in you, somebody that can encourage you and support you and show you, and not just with anxiety, though, that's part of it, but just all the things that you're going through and help you come up with a plan for what's next and just somebody to like tell everything to.

And by the way, I don't tell your parents what we talk about. Now, as always in Probably any adult conversation you're ever going to have in your life, even when you're an adult, if you tell someone that you're going, you want to die by suicide, if you tell someone that you want to kill other people, or you are really severely harming and damaging your body and yourself, that adult is, is supposed to tell someone about it.

Even when you're an adult, I'm, I would tell other adults who were that knew you or adults that were around you, even if you [00:23:00] weren't around your parents or in contact with your parents, because those when you are in those kind of thinking states, you're not thinking clearly and you're not. able to access the information in your brain that you need to make really good decisions.

But all the other stuff like I have a crush on this person, I'm mad at my parents, I hate this teacher, this class sucks, I don't think I want to go to college but my parents want me to, all of that stuff is a secret because those things are not life or death situations. Those are just things that we need to talk through.

So, um, Take, just think about it for a while. Don't like make a rash decision about whether you want to work with me or not just yet. Just think about the things I said, read, listen, if you need to. Um, and know that your parents are actually on the right track. They know that this can be helpful to you because as adults, we know that we need to be working on ourselves all the time.

I'm [00:24:00] still working on myself all the time. I will always be working on myself and that's okay. It doesn't mean anything bad. It just means that I'm trying to be the best person that I can be. And when I was your age, I didn't know that I could work on myself. I just got up every day and if something. Felt terrible.

I was like, oh, well, my life sucks. And this is the worst. And my parents are terrible and I hate the teachers and all these things. And I didn't realize how much power I actually had all that time. And I wasted all that time just trying to blame everyone else. So let's get together and talk. You can, the person that I am on this recording right here is exactly who I am.

I'm never different. And. But we should get on a call where I can actually talk to you and you can see that I am just this person and then you can decide. There is no pressure. I hate sales pressure, high stakes, um, selling that is so not me at all. I want you to feel comfortable [00:25:00] with me and say, Oh my gosh, yes, this is totally going to work for me.

And I can, I'm sure I can even give you, um, people that you can talk to that have been in my world to see what they think. And I even have some episodes. If you look around in my, either my YouTube or my podcast where my clients were actually on the call talking and you can. hear how they interact with me, how I interact with them, and if that seems helpful to you.

So I hope you have an amazing holiday season because we are almost there and just Give me a chance if your parents have talked to you about talking to me and just see what if you're like, nope, this isn't for me, that's okay. I am still going to be around and you can maybe check in with me in another year or so.

So I'll talk to you soon.