E 228 Stop Waiting to Succeed: Your 5-Step Future Self Action Plan

🎯 Transform Your Teen's School Year: The Future Self Blueprint | Teen Anxiety Maze

Discover how to help your teen become their best future self TODAY! Perfect for parents, counselors, and teens who want to finish this school year strong. Learn practical strategies for setting and achieving goals, managing anxiety, and building confidence.

🕒 KEY MOMENTS:
00:00 Introduction to Your Future Self
02:15 Why You Have Everything You Need
04:30 The 100% Worth Concept
06:45 Visualizing May 2025
09:20 Dealing with Obstacles (Road Construction Analogy)
13:40 Power Sentences Introduction
16:55 Sample Power Sentences
19:30 Daily Practice Guide
22:15 Five Daily Actions System
💫 POWER SENTENCES MENTIONED:

"Everything is as it should be"
"I can do hard things"
"The world needs what I have to offer"
"Nothing has gone wrong"
"I am enough"

🎯 TAKE ACTION NOW:

Write down your 3 power sentences
Spend 30 seconds daily visualizing your May 2025 self
Create your monthly/weekly/daily five-action lists
Share your power sentences with us!

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#TeenAnxiety #FutureSelf #TeenSuccess #ParentingTips #SchoolCounseling #TeenMentalHealth #PersonalDevelopment #TeenConfidence #StudentSuccess #GoalSetting

DISCLAIMER: This content is for educational purposes only and is not intended to replace professional mental health services. If you or your teen needs immediate support, please contact a licensed mental health professional.

 Struggling with anxiety in your family? If anxiety is causing tension, fights, or disconnect in your home, you don’t have to face it alone. I help parents bring more peace, confidence, and connection to their families. Let’s talk—schedule a free consultation today or email me: ccoufal@cynthiacoufalcoaching.com

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Transcript

Hi, everyone. Thank you for joining me for the Teen Anxiety Maze. And I want to know, have you ever thought about being your future self? Did you know that you could be your future self right now? I know that this is kind of a hard concept to imagine. I know when I first started hearing about it, It was, I couldn't quite put my head around it, but now I'm so excited about being my future self and I've actually created a lot of things now.

as my future self before I ever got there. So I wanted to teach you today about how to do that, especially since we're just starting a new semester. And this is the spring semester of school, when I'm recording this anyway. And This could be a time when maybe you're going to be graduating in May, or maybe it's just, you know, even thinking just about the end of [00:01:00] school, even if you're not graduating, but this could be such an exciting time for you.

So I wanted you to really think about how you could start being that person right now. Your future depends on what you do today. Does that resonate with you? Can you believe that statement? Can you think about the choices that you make every day and how they actually create who you're going to be?

Sometimes that's really hard to think about and when we go through our day to day, we get really bored with things or we're just annoyed or we just want to hurry up and get it over with. But every choice that we make is creating that future self. So we want to be making choices that are creating the future self that we want.

This is another statement that I love telling people, but it's sometimes hard to [00:02:00] really understand it. We are born with everything we need for this journey. So I spent a lot of time when I was in high school and young adulthood, wishing that I had this talent or that asset. And I looked around at my peers and compared myself to them.

And I was always. Finding that I was lacking, I wasn't as smart as this person. I wasn't as skinny as this person. I couldn't play the piano like this person. I couldn't sing as well as this person.

And I didn't realize that I had everything I needed to be successful in my life and my journey. I just hadn't uncovered those things yet. And so if you are a younger person. You and you're looking around, comparing yourself to everyone. Just know that you have the talents and skills that you need for your journey.

You just need to uncover them and find them. My, I know now that my [00:03:00] journey in this life is to take care of young people, to help them have the best lives that they can have. Well, I don't have to be the best piano player in order to do that. I don't have to be an athlete in order to be able to do that. I don't have to be skinny and I don't have to be the smartest.

I just need to have empathy and love and care and spend a lot of time learning new things. In order to reach those people. And that's what I do. And I've been doing that for so many years. So what you're supposed to be doing is uncovering all those things that you're supposed to do in your future self.

And I know you don't know all those things yet, and that's okay. You're just doing the things that you enjoy and you're moving forward and you're going to be uncovering those things that you're supposed to do in this life. Every human is born 100 percent worthy. And 100 percent lovable. And there [00:04:00] isn't anything you can do about it.

You can't do anything. You can't win all the prizes to be more worthy or lovable. You're still the same as that a hundred percent. You were at the beginning, no matter how many mistakes you make failures, and maybe Really bad things that you might be guilty of or feel ashamed about. Those don't take away your worth or your lovability.

You still have that a hundred percent always. And when you realize that it feels so much better when we have those failures, cause we're going to, we're going to have failures. We're going to have challenges. We're not going to have some of the things that we wish we did. And when we realize that that doesn't take away anything from our beautiful, lovable, worthy life, it starts to feel a little bit better.

But I didn't even realize any of this stuff until I was an adult. So that's why I definitely wanted you to know about it. Right now I want you to think about May 2025. [00:05:00] That's when it can be June 2025. I guess it depends on when your school year ends. I have some clients that end in May, I have some clients that end in June, but most of my, in all of my School years, and in all of my teaching and counseling in a public school, it was always May.

So that's what I always think about. So I want you to dream about May 2025, or the end of your school. And I want you to think about when you just ended the best year you've ever had. No matter what year of school you're in. Or if you're a parent, your child just finished the best year ever. And I just want you to really, I want you to close your eyes and just Really, really dream and imagine this person that you are that may 2025 person who just had everything, they got the grades they wanted, they're getting along with everyone they want to, they got on the teams they wanted to just anything that you would be dreaming [00:06:00] about, you are there.

I want you to imagine, what are you wearing? What, who's beside you? Who is in this picture of this day that's the end of school? How do you feel inside your body? And I hope you're feeling like this excitement, this tingling, this energy that's saying, I am so proud of myself. I have just done such hard work, but in a good way that brought me everything that I wanted.

And this feels so good. And I'm so proud of myself. Like that is wonderful. That's the life that we want to have. So I want you to be thinking about that person as we go through this, this episode today, whenever we want to go somewhere. To some destination, we usually use Google Maps or some kind of an app that's going to show us how to get there.

And, We can't just open up the app and [00:07:00] go where we want to go without telling the app where it is. What is our end result? What is that goal that we're going towards? And the same thing happens as our future self. We need to have that picture in our mind of what does that future self look like? What are they doing?

Who is with them? How did they get there? Well, sometimes we don't know the how, but you know, what is, What is it looking like to be that person? And that's what you're going to be putting in your GPS to tell you how to get there. Or that, like, that's what you're working towards. Now in my area this summer, and I live, I, well, I live in Kansas.

And so, especially in states that have wintry months, we tend to have more road construction in the summertime than we do in the fall. Especially in the wintertime, because it's hard to get the work done in the wintertime with snow and inclement weather, and so since [00:08:00] summer is good weather. We tend to have a lot of stuff going on and I know every time I drove into town this summer and still even though we're into mid fall, there was lots of construction.

And so I had to plan ahead of time where I was going and how much time usually, usually with no traffic or no construction. I always allowed 30 minutes to get to my appointments and it always got me there 10 minutes early, which is the way I like to live my life. But I, this summer I've had to plan 45 minutes to get, and I'm still late sometimes.

It's just so hard to know like how much time it's going to take to get somewhere. And that happens in our lives too. We have obstacles that happen in our lives that maybe change our timeline. But that doesn't mean we're not going to be that future self, or that doesn't mean that we're not going to reach our goals.

We just might need to think of a different time [00:09:00] frame. So May is only a few short months away. And maybe if you haven't been doing anything to get to that future self, a few months, four or five months might not be enough time to Really reach your goal, but you're going to make progress if as long as you are trying to go towards that goal So I just want you to think that you know Sometimes there are obstacles and we need to plan for those obstacles And so the roads construction is one of the things that I was talking about.

There might be an accident That somebody has or there might be an accident that you have also in my area right now people are hitting deer all the time because this is the The rut season when deer are losing their minds, trying to find a love partner, and they're going into the roads and getting in front of cars because they, they don't know what they're doing.

And if you live in an area that has that type of. Season or whatever. [00:10:00] It's possible that you know, you see more car accidents during that time. Maybe the traffic is just slow or if you are on a hike, like if your destination is you're walking or riding a bike or doing something like that, maybe you're going to come across a mountain and you're going to have to climb the mountain or there's an ocean.

How are you going to get across that? Or there's a valley or a ditch, or maybe there's been a flood and a road's been washed out, or a bridge has been washed out, and there's, there's all these obstacles. And then if you think about in your real life, there's the, I didn't have enough time to get to my goal.

There's also financial hardships that happen or. A diagnoses that changes how fast you're going to do something or, or what direction you're going to go in. And so let's think about road construction for a minute. If you come across road construction, you could get really angry about it. And you can think, This is slowing me [00:11:00] down.

And why do they have this road closed? And maybe you're gonna, I don't have road rage, but I've seen people have it. Maybe you're going to yell at other drivers or you're going to pound on your steering wheel and you're going to complain about the construction and the people are lazy and they're not getting this done.

And Just having a thought loop that just goes around about all the terrible things that are happening and how terrible everyone is for having road construction, or maybe if you're on a hike and you get to a really tall mountain, maybe you're going to say, this is too hard. I don't want to keep going on this direction because I can't.

handle this and maybe you're going to complain to your friends about how terrible it is. Or maybe you're going to turn back and go back home and never even go to your destination, which happens a lot in our dreams. Like we have a dream and we have an excitement about something and then it's hard. And then we're just like, Oh, forget it.

I'm not going to do that. That's too hard. And you can decide that like, there's nothing wrong with [00:12:00] deciding that a goal is too hard, but if you really want that end result. Then you need to think of something different besides it's too hard. If you're going on a hike and all of a sudden you come across a body of water.

You might think, oh, well, I can't swim, so I guess I need to go home, because I can't swim across this water, or even if you could swim, maybe it's too far to swim, and maybe you start complaining about, well, your parents never got you swim lessons, and if they did, then you could swim, or you're mad at yourself, because you didn't learn, you didn't teach yourself how to swim.

And just, you know, all those thought loops of complaining and finding excuses or turning around and going home, whining about it, cussing people out because things are not going the way they're supposed to. But there are different ways to approach obstacles. So what if when you came across road construction, instead of thinking, this [00:13:00] is terrible and this is ruining my day and they shouldn't be doing this.

You think, Well, they'll provide a detour, you know, I'll get there, maybe the time frame will be different, but they will provide a detour, and I will be able to follow it, and I'll still get to the destination that I'm going to, and that is more of a neutral thought, so think about when you were thinking, well, this is terrible, and I hate this, and you're pounding on the steering wheel, what does that feel like in your body, or what does They will provide a detour.

I'll still get to my destination. What does that feel like? Obviously that one feels better and it's at least neutral. You're not saying, oh, I'm so glad that this road construction is here. This is the best day of my life. But you're not thinking that it's the worst day of your life either. So it's more neutral.

And when you stay in in a neutral state and your body is not an alarm. It can problem solve and it can think and it can imagine what is next. Instead of turning [00:14:00] around and going home, you're still going to go on. The way that you wanted to, you're just going to go a little bit differently. It's going to be a little bit slower instead of thinking this is too hard.

When you get to the mountain, you can think I will find a way slow and steady wins the race. And that's a whole, that's a parable from a long time ago. But it's so true that if you keep going in the direction that of this dream that you want in May, 2025, you are going to get there and you may have to do it in really small steps and that's okay.

Because as long as you're going in that direction, it will happen. And if this girl that's standing by the water that she originally thought, well, I can't swim, so forget about it. She thinks there are many ways to cross water. Maybe she's going to look for a bridge. Maybe she's going to look for a boat to go across.

Maybe she could fly across it in an airplane. [00:15:00] There are so many ways that she can get across this. Without having to swim and when we stay calm, we can problem solve with our brain. If we get very upset and angry and sad, then we, our brain will not think of all those other options that we can, it won't stay in problem solving mode.

And so these sentences that we say to ourselves that are a little bit neutral or even positive are called power sentences. And so in order to have the life of your dreams. You have to choose power sentences every day that give you direction. So, Your life is just a result of your most repeated sentences.

So think about a person who repeats every day. This is too hard. This is too hard. This is too hard. This is too hard. What do you think their life looks like? I'm guessing they're not doing a lot of things that [00:16:00] they would like to be doing or have very much happiness in their life. If you're thinking this is too hard all the time, it feels.

really bad. But what if a person was saying slow and steady wins the race? I will get there as long as I keep working. There are many options to reach my goal. That, that person's going to get there. That person's going to feel positive and hopeful and ready to go. And every day they're going to be wanting to go towards their dreams.

So today I want you to choose three power sentences that you're going to start repeating every day. And this can be for the parents who are listening, the school counselors who are listening, the young person. No matter how old you are, we all need power sentences. And so today I'm going to give you some options of different power sentences you could choose, and I'm going to say them out loud so you can kind of see which one feels good to you, which ones [00:17:00] feel good to you.

And so I want you to, when you, if you're driving, of course, don't do this, but later on, write down what you think those power sentences could be. And maybe you have some of your own, which is great. And they actually work better if you come up with them, but I want to give your brain some ideas to choose from if you can't think of any, or maybe it'll give you some ideas of when you can choose.

Everything is as it should be. Nothing has gone wrong. What I look for I am responsible for everything I think and feel. People are allowed to behave any way they want. I am enough. There is nothing wrong with me. The world needs what I have to offer. I [00:18:00] can do hard things. Suffering is not necessary. Worry serves no purpose.

Everything I do is a choice. I want you to think of three. And again, you can make up your own. They don't have to be these, but I know sometimes when you're trying something new, you need like a little boost. Or maybe even ask AI. Give me three power sentences that I can live by today. Maybe put your dream in there.

Like, what's your, what's your goal for May 2025, and what are three power sentences I could use today to get to that? That could be kind of interesting. I didn't try that, so somebody will have to tell me what your power sentences came up to be. So, I want you to write these sentences every day. I want you to write them where you can see them on your bathroom mirror.

Maybe they're on your refrigerator, write them on a piece of paper, then take a picture of them and have it be the screensaver on your phone. [00:19:00] Any way that you can see these every single day to remind you and writing them every single day will help just kind of ingrain them in your brain of what these power sentences are.

And of course, please send me your power sentences. I want to know, I'm going to put my power sentences somewhere on social media so you'll be able to see them. And every day, I want you to take at least 30 seconds and everyone has 30 seconds in their day to just dream and imagine about that May 2025 self.

What are they doing? What is it? What do they look like? What do they feel like? Who is there? What are they saying to people? What are they saying to themselves? And what are those power sentences that they're thinking that are getting them to be that dream 2025, May 2025 self, the good news is this version is already inside of you.

You are already that [00:20:00] person. You just need to meet up with them. You need to do the things so you can get there in May of 2025 and be like, Oh my gosh, you've been waiting for me here. That's so cool. Cool. And the more you imagine this person every day, the clearer they're going to be and the clearer our visualization of a person of who we're going to be is, the greater the chances are that it's actually going to happen.

You know, this office that I'm setting in right now, I created this office. Because I knew I was going to have this business before I ever had this business. I was living into my future self. I thought, okay, my future self is going to have this business where I'm going to be on video a lot. And I'm going to be talking to people.

What do I want this office to look like? And that's exactly what I created. And it was so fun. It was that like past action creating a future. Now our brains like things to be easy. Our [00:21:00] brain doesn't want us to do things that are hard and this kind of stuff where we're, we are being our future self and we're doing things every day to be this like ultimate goal self can be hard sometimes.

So when our brain says, Oh, don't worry about it. You don't need to do that today. Okay. Just take a break and you know, check back in later or is it really that important to be that? Do you really need those grades? Do you really need that job? Do you really need that person? Like just don't don't do it Don't listen to that part of your brain.

Just say to yourself Oh, that's the way old me thought new me future me

So if your brain is saying, don't do it, just say, Oh yeah, my past self did say that a lot, but my future self doesn't say that and just use that to move yourself forward. So what [00:22:00] if your future self. Has all A's. Now I know that's not everybody's goal and it was never my goal and it wasn't my goal for my kids.

So I totally get it if it's not and it's not a big deal if that is not one of your goals. But I just wanted you to think about this is something that anybody in school or who has been in school knows what it would take to get straight A's. Like we know yeah. The steps that it would take. And so you would need to study, of course.

You would need to do your homework on time. You might need to seek help from your teacher if you don't understand something. You would need to read all the assigned readings that you were supposed to do. And you would need to take notes when you were in class so that you knew what was going on. So I want you to think about whatever your goal is, and of course there's so many of them, what are five things you would have to do.

Right now to be that person, what are five things that your [00:23:00] future self is gonna need you to do right now to become that person? So every month on the first of the month, I want you to write down somewhere. You can have a journal or you can just write 'em on a piece of paper. What are five things that you're gonna need to do that month?

to achieve your May 2025 goal. So just five things that you need to do that month. Then, on Sunday, every Sunday, I want you to write five things that you need to do that week. To achieve your 20 May 2025 goal, or if you're listening to this after May 2025, just whenever your goal is, what are five things you need to do that week, then every day, I want you to write, what are five things I need to do today to achieve my goal and [00:24:00] guess what will happen if you do these five things every day.

every week, every month. You are going to become that future self you're dreaming about. You get, but you get to be them right now, which is so fun by doing these things, but you will become that person. And isn't it fun that you can like create this goal, however you want it to be. I want you to trust the next chapter because you You are the author.

So think about that this week. And I want you to send me, what are your power sentences? What are you doing every day? And I'm going to put mine somewhere. So be looking for them. And I'll probably put them down in the show notes of the video, the YouTube video. So if you are listening to this, go to the YouTube video and at least look at what my power sentences are.

So I will talk to you soon.