E 246 Why Your Community Needs Youth Voices At Decision Making Tables

 What if we celebrated teens the same way we celebrate celebrities? ✨

In this inspiring episode of The Teen Anxiety Maze, I talk with Orlana Darkins Drewery, founder of The Shyne Awards, a red-carpet ceremony that honors young people (ages 13–24) doing incredible things in academics, arts, community service, and more.

We discuss:
🌟 How to recognize and celebrate the small wins in teens' lives
🧠 Why listening without judgment builds real connection
🎮 The importance of showing interest in what teens care about (even gaming!)
🙌 How The Shyne Awards is changing lives—and how you can nominate a teen!

Orlana shares her journey from feeling overlooked because of her zip code to creating a platform where youth can shine—literally and figuratively.

🔗 Learn more about The Shyne Awards
📣 Nominate a teen (ages 13–24) today!
📍 Follow Orlana:
Instagram
LinkedIn
YouTube
Website  

 Struggling with anxiety in your family? If anxiety is causing tension, fights, or disconnect in your home, you don’t have to face it alone. I help parents bring more peace, confidence, and connection to their families. Let’s talk—schedule a free consultation today or email me: ccoufal@cynthiacoufalcoaching.com

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Email me: ccoufal@cynthiacoufalcoaching.com
Text me: 785-380-2064
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Transcript

 Hi everyone. Thank you for joining me for the Teen Anxiety Maze this week. Have you ever wondered how you can support really good things with youth in your community? Well, 

Orlana: we have a guest today, or 

Cynthia: I have a guest. Today, Alana Darkens, and she is a media 

I have a guest. Today, Orlana Darkins Drewery, and she is a media and marketing expert that specializes in helping young adults, nonprofit organizations, and churches amplify their successes and messages in a meaningful and impactful way.

Her company, the Shine Network, also hosts the Shine Awards, and we're gonna talk about that today. 'cause I'm really excited about that because it's a premier award ceremony that celebrates the positive achievements of young people, 13 to 24, anywhere in the world. And we so need that because I feel like young adults and teens are forgotten a lot in these kinds of things.

So [00:01:00] Orlana, thank you for being with us today. Cynthia, 

Orlana: thank you so much 

for this opportunity to share with your audience. Yes. Well, tell us, first of all, tell us about you and how did you come to want to help these young adults? I. 

Well, first off, I grew up in a low income community with my mom and my sisters.

It was a Christian household, so I had no choice but to have good grades high citizenship, and of course every other weekend we had to be involved in some type of community service. So whether that was visiting nursing homes or the food bank. We had to be a part of it. Now I'm a young person. I didn't always enjoy doing the community service work.

Mm-hmm. But it was a part of the fabric of the household. But growing up in this community, I would share oftentimes my successes with other adults. And they would ask me, you know, what school do you go to? Or [00:02:00] what do you wanna be? And ultimately they would always ask, well, where do you live? And when I would share the name of my community, I.

It was like the sense of disappointment because of my zip code. Like they had already determined I was not gonna be successful in life. So that feeling I had where I felt like they kind of dimmed my light set me up for what would be my life's work, which is to work specifically. With young people in a capacity where they can have their talents recognized and celebrated so that they don't have to go through what I went through of feeling like later on in life that I really wasn't enough.

Well, the Shine Award stands for, it's kind of an acronym. Mm-hmm. And tell me about that. Because I love what that stands for and I didn't realize when I, I, I knew the shine part. I was like, oh, that makes [00:03:00] sense. And I saw that it was spelled differently, but I was like, they're just being cute, but it really stands for something.

So tell us about that. 

Yeah. So we spell Shine with a Y and it means showing how youth need to excel. Mm-hmm. So the Shine Awards Foundation. Is a student led organization where we primarily provide resources, and that could be in addition to financial resources or connecting them to a professional that is connected to a, a, a professional field or a interest that they have, even exposing them to venues that as adults we might take for granted, like a cultural venue.

Mm-hmm. So we'll take them to plays or concerts. In the cultural center in our city, where a lot of times there's not events that's designed for kids to go, to go there. Mm-hmm. So exposing them to things like that. So yeah, so that's what it, that's what it means, and that's our mission to expose [00:04:00] them to opportunities so that they can excel.

Well, how can adults in the communities be supporting youth more often? Like what are some ideas that you could give us to help us do this in our own communities? 

Well, you know what? I think one major thing I. Is that as parents, as teachers be active listeners without judgment? Mm-hmm. I think, I don't know what this is, that as adults we say, well, back in my day, well, when I was a kid, but if, you know, if a young person comes to you with something take steps to be an active listener without judgments.

Teens wanna feel heard, they wanna feel respected maybe, ask open-ended questions, maybe learn something about what they're doing. For me, and this was last summer I, I think I lost some of my skills, but I was with some teens that was really into gaming. I. [00:05:00] 

Mm. 

And so instead of just like blowing that off or I don't have time, you know, I asked them like, you know, what are you playing?

Or Why do you like this game? To the point where they actually got me playing like two of them. So just things like that where you are. Listening and you want to kinda, you show interest in why they're interested in something. Mm-hmm. I think are good steps to connecting with young people. 

Oh, those are great ideas.

And those I think that's why I've had so much success with teens is that I am that person that just take some where, wherever they are right now, and let's just talk. I remember there were kids one time that said to me, you talk to me like I'm a person. And I said. Well, you are a person. Why wouldn't I talk to you like you're a person?

And they said other adults don't. And I was so surprised by that because I feel like it, for me, I almost [00:06:00] feel like it's innate. Like I've always been this way and I've always known how to do it. But I do think that maybe I do speak to them in a, in a way where they feel like, oh, they, she hears me.

She's seeing me. And I really do think that that comes from. That's a wound that I have from when I was a young person is that people would not listen to me. And I don't know. I mean, I don't think it was anything, they weren't trying to be mean to me. It was just like, well, you're a kid, you don't know what you're talking about.

And I remember just feeling so angry all the time, like, I know what I'm talking about. And so I just, I think that's always. Been with me. Like I wanna treat them as, I wanted to be treated as a young person. And I think sometimes adults do forget, or maybe if they weren't disregarded, they don't realize that that's a thing.

And so that's great that you are teaching that or helping people to understand that. 

You know, I wanna add [00:07:00] too, in addition, in addition to listening, active listening without judgment, also speaking, I recently, and I had shared this on my social media platform, I was in a conversation with some women. I.

And they were older than me and they said, you know, growing up the rule was as a child when you walked into the room and there were other adults you speak. Mm-hmm. And they were, you know, today kids don't speak when they walk in a room. So. Fast forward to, I'm just on a park bench. Three boys, young boys are walking towards me.

I said, hello. Two of them said hello back, but one said, thank you for speaking to us. And I thought, wow, that's very interesting how the conversation I had with the adults was, kids don't speak. When they see us, but are we [00:08:00] speaking to kids? Yes. I love that. So that really was an eyeopener for me, and I had shared it on my platform of let's not do all this judgment like it's their fault and we also don't know their situation.

Maybe they're not raised to speak. To just people when you walk in a room, but as adults, if you think that should be a rule, if you feel that's important, we should show that respect to them. Let's say hello or whatever. Good morning. When we see young people. 

Yes. Well that reminds me of so many educators would be like, you know.

I demand respect from these kids or whatever, but they weren't being respectful to the kids. And I was like, well, you can't demand respect from them if you're not going to give it to them. Exactly. And so, yeah, I think that we have been kind of taught back in the day about doing certain things that really don't fit for what we're.

What we are wanting to do now with young people. I mean, way back it [00:09:00] was like, kids should not be seen or heard, like they should not be speaking because they don't, I don't know, have a, have a seat at this table or whatever. And I'm so glad now that we're getting past that and allowing young people to speak.

Right? And so one of the things that, I think helps too is that communities need to get youth on boards or in these kind of meetings where we're talking about stuff where youth could have a voice that could be very helpful and that might help them to achieve more. 

Yes. The Shine Awards Foundation, we actually did something that maybe other cities could do.

We partnered with three schools and kind of had representation from all three of the schools and created a little board, a little student board. Mm. But we were also in partnership with stakeholders in the area that these schools were. Were held. [00:10:00] 

Mm-hmm. 

And so with that, we had meetings with the, the students got their feedback of kind of how they felt being in the area.

It's a downtown area that these schools are situated. But it was a great opportunity for the stakeholders. To hear from the students how they felt about the businesses and how they're being treated, whether it was from the police mm-hmm. To the businesses. But it was good information on creating relationships.

So we had a round table with just the students and the police. Because there were some things the police didn't know. Mm-hmm. There were some things that the students didn't know why the police reacted to them in certain ways. And then even for the business owners, hearing from the students too, in terms of customer service, like they were saying, a lot of times they didn't feel like their business was appreciated, like they were treated like kids.

And not [00:11:00] customers. So I think you're correct. I think that there should be opportunities where businesses, maybe it's a suggestion box. Mm-hmm. Maybe it's something they can write on a board. Mm-hmm. But kids have something to say and a lot of times they had some good ideas too on how to generate business.

Exactly. But we did that for, I think it might have been three or four years, the pandemic kind of. Shifted a lot of things. Mm-hmm. But that was very beneficial. And we've actually been talking about bringing that back again. 'cause that was a good way for. Again, police to business owners to educators to hear from.

And again, it was a small population representing each school, but it did provide some type of voice of from hearing from young people. 

Mm-hmm. Now, how do you find the young people for your Shine awards? Like how do you know what all these people are, all these kids are doing? 

Yes. [00:12:00] So we ask for nominations and they can actually also come from the student themselves just because we don't know everyone's setup.

But mostly teachers, counselors, clergy family members. They nominate a young person. The age is 13 to 24. That's the only requirement. And again, it is young people from anywhere in the world. We have nine categories, and a young person can be nominated in one or more category. But they the categories are arts, academics, community service, service and ministry, young adult group participation, overcoming obstacles, stem and I leadership.

And then we have an adult award, which is our lifetime achievement award. We have teacher of the year. Hmm. That is new. This is, [00:13:00] we are third teacher of the year. This next year. So those are the categories and individuals would just visit our website, the shine awards.org, and again, we spell Shine with a 

y.

All right. Well, I am definitely putting all these links in the show notes so people can find you and all the things. Now, do you do speaking engagements as well? 

I do, I do a lot of speaking engagements, mostly about stepping out of your comfort zone. 

Mm. 

And I am an introvert by nature, and I always say your calling does not care that you are a introvert.

Mm-hmm. But in my travels, especially dealing with young people, yeah, there's oftentimes, not always, but there's oftentimes a lack of confidence or there's fear of failure. 

Mm-hmm. 

We live, unfortunately, in this culture that is quick to cancel. So there's young people who are afraid to step out and actually show their [00:14:00] talents, and so I talk a lot about that, how you're really doing yourself.

A disservice in others because there's people who need to hear or take benefit on what they have. Right? So if you're holding it back due to fear, you're, you're, you are not growing and you're not helping others. There's others depending on you, there's others that need your gifts. But yet, but to answer your question, yes, I do speaking engagements, but it's primarily on, stepping outta your comfort zone. 

Mm-hmm. Okay. And I think, 'cause I think I saw that on your website too, where people could try to book you or, you know, get you for certain events too, so they can, they can check that out as well. What other advice do you have? Kind of for parents too? 'cause that's my primary.

Listeners, I believe are parents. How can parents maybe encourage their young people to do some more of these things out in the community or just look at their talents more and see what they can do as a young person instead [00:15:00] of waiting until they're an adult to do those things? 

Right. I think it is starting now with celebrating the small wins, not waiting for the straight A's or you.

Did the winning shot for the championship. Right? But the small wins. So you know, maybe you, they did laundry without you telling them. Mm-hmm. Or I don't know, picked up the little brother from school and you didn't have to remind them. But acknowledging that. So no, it doesn't have to be cash prizes or anything like that, but a simple acknowledgement.

Maybe it is for a younger child, it's a gold star on the calendar. You remember to do your chores today or whatever that is. But I think if you start younger mm-hmm. And acknowledge the small things that goes a long way. I recently read, and I think it was in Psychology Today that was also [00:16:00] saying that, that just.

With children starting younger and not always magnifying the bad. Mm-hmm. So, yes, you didn't put all the dishes away. Okay. Like, yes. Like that's, that's, that seems like it's easier to criticize, like you didn't do that. Versus, you know, what in your mind, like, you didn't do that, but, but thank you for taking out the trash.

Yeah, exactly. But yeah, but let's acknowledge the small wins and again, not wait till you're older or wait for these big wins. And then as adults, you know, we're more, I feel like we're more self confident. We're not always running for an award or. Recognition from the boss mm-hmm. Or a raise is already instilled in us that we're enough and that our gifts are important.

Yes. I think that, that a lot of. Times when I see someone really striving for those a's [00:17:00] or wanting to win all the awards, it's more of them not feeling worthy and that they feel like those things make them worthy. Right. And I talk to my clients so often about, you were born a hundred percent worthy.

You can't take it away and you can't add to it. It is just, you are like, there are, there is no exception about it. And. I think it's hard for them to really, especially the, they think that their failures or mistakes that they made somehow take away from that worthiness. And I, I always like to be the person to tell them that that doesn't, that doesn't take anything away from you.

You are still the a hundred percent worthy and lovable just the way you are. And of course, you know, we should try to be the best people that we can be and we get better and we do things differently, but. We shouldn't be doing it as, oh, well I was terrible bad then and now I'm better. Or, you know, just that I'm learning and I'm gonna do [00:18:00] better this time.

And. As a parent, I think I was telling my kids that a lot too. Like, yeah, I am, I'm making mistakes, but I'm, I'm trying to be a better parent and I'm trying to do it differently. And, you know, I'm sorry when I, and, and doing, I think a lot of times with our kids, we need to have that bringing back together when something has happened that may, we've made the mistake or they've made a mistake, but we handle it poorly, you know?

Going back and saying, I didn't do that well, and I'm sorry about that, and we're gonna try that again the next time. And that does so much for their learning. How do you come back from a mistake or a problem? But they're also. Getting to, you know, it's like repairing that relationship that maybe got off track when there was a problem.

And so I think it's really important that we do that. And I just think we are role modeling constantly as the adults in young people's lives. [00:19:00] And we have to be showing them how to do these things. Because we're not born knowing all of this stuff and we have to have somebody showing us. And I feel like I learned.

Sometimes too late, but at least sometimes at the same time as my kids were learning things and we talk about it a lot now that they're adults. Like I was messing that up a lot and I didn't even know it. So, but that's, the 

repair is good. And I'm glad you said that too, because one of the things that we try to do in an organization is communicate that you're not defined by your mistakes.

Mm-hmm. Like you're, you're just gonna make 'em like Yeah. Mistakes are, you can't avoid it. 

Mm-hmm. 

And no one has the blueprint on how to live a perfect life. Like it doesn't exist. Like we're all literally making this up as we go along. Yes, yes. So but yes, so I'm glad you said that. 'cause [00:20:00] that's one of the things that we do communicate.

You are not defined by your mistakes. Mm-hmm. Definitely. If you make one, learn from it, dust yourself off, recover quickly. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So I'm, I'm so glad you said that. 'cause that's one of the things that we. Communicate to the young people that we work with. 

Mm-hmm. Well, and what makes your life perfect isn't what would make my life perfect.

You know? Like I feel like a lot of times we're looking at someone's life and saying, well, they need to do it this way or that way, because that's what we would want. To happen in our life, but that doesn't mean that that's what they want in their life. I remember I, my mom was a very quiet, she was an introverted person.

I'm an extrovert and I wanted this. Mom that was like the, you know, have all the kids come over. And she was the fun favorite mom. And I was like, oh, I have this boring mom that doesn't do any of these things. And so I thought when I'm a mom, I'm going to be the fun [00:21:00] mom and the kids are gonna come over and I'm gonna be best friends with their friends and you know, all these things.

And I was that mom. But my daughter one day said, I wish my friends didn't like you. And I was like. What, this is exactly what I wanted. You know, and I'm, I'm looking at it from my perspective that I'm the mom I wanted. Right. I wasn't the mom that she wanted. Interesting. And I know, and I was like, oh, I thought I was doing such a good job because I'm exactly the way I want to be, and.

And she was like, because it was taking away from her. Because if we were in the store and her friends came in, they were like, Haley's mom, and they would run to me Uhhuh, they weren't running to her. Right. And that, that is dismissive, right. When you're, when they're your friends, you know, I'm not really their friend, right?

And so it, I learned a lot in that exchange and. Then I tried to be more backseat [00:22:00] after that. You know, like I'm still friendly and I'll still, you know, have fun with everyone and enjoy the young people. But I didn't want to take away from her being their friend and her being the center should be the center of their attention so that, but, so, you know, we just have to think about, even though it we're, we're thinking, oh, this is exactly how I would want it to be if I was her. You are not them. So, you know, like they have a different idea about things. Well, is there anything else you'd like our audience to know before we go to today? 

I think I would like to just share a little bit more about the Shine Awards, 'cause that's my baby.

All right. Again, it is a national Premier award ceremony. That celebrates the accomplishments of young people anywhere in the world between the ages of 13 and 24. Over the years, the teenagers have dubbed it the Grammys for teens because very flashy. We have, we picked them [00:23:00] up in luxury cars.

There's a red carpet ceremony. There's the red carpet interview with the media. And then a really flashy award ceremony where that night, the young people literally are the stars. And then if possible, there's like, you know, like a little media tour before and after, and they get some other things too, in addition to the Shine Awards.

But but if you're interested again, and I'm not sure, if nominations when you, well, we accept nominations all the time, so, but the Shine Awards is the first Sunday in August. It is held in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but again, we have people that fly in, drive in to attend the awards. So yes, if anyone's interested in learning more, the shine wars.org and we spell Shine with a y.

Well, I'm telling everyone about it because I love the idea of it and I just, I can think of so many young [00:24:00] people that deserve this and I definitely want all the people that I, and I know a lot of people who work with young people, so I think I'm just gonna send it out to everyone and say, read the 

word yes.

I want them, I want these kids to be recognized. 'cause what a wonderful opportunity for them and just. Such a confidence boost, and I think it's just great that we're looking at young people to, to celebrate the things that they're doing because it is, that's part of what makes our world so wonderful is that they're out there doing good things too.

So we just, I just had a conversation with he was our 2021. Community Service honoree. He started his nonprofit at 17. He said no one was taking him seriously. No one was trying to work with him. He said the Shine Award saw what he was doing. He got awarded and he's like, all of a sudden I. That gave him status like people wanted to work with him.

Yeah. He still has. The nonprofit is doing well, [00:25:00] is growing, but you're right, it does provide a confidence boost of not only did I win this award, but I'm seeing like, I'm like, what I'm doing matters. Yes. 

Yeah. And we need lots. We need so many people doing good things in the world. Yeah. And so this would be a great way to start.

And if they can start at 17, they have a lot of years to, to do some things, you know? Exactly. I feel like I've been doing good things my whole life, but I really didn't start affecting a lot of people until much later in my life. And so I think this is great to get that started early 'cause they have many years to, to do it, so, or Alana, thank you so much for being with us today.

I've enjoyed this conversation and I love what you're doing in the world and I wish you much luck. 

Thank you so much, Cynthia. Thank you so much for this opportunity to share. You are so welcome.