Your 4-Step Guide to Smoother Transitions. Why new feels wrong even when it's better.

TUNE IN TO LEARN:

Feeling uncomfortable with a new job, home, or relationship even though it's objectively better than what you had before?  

You're not alone, and there's a neurological reason for it. 

The Change Wired podcast tackles one of life's most universal experiences: transitions. Drawing from personal experience after moving to a new apartment, host Angela Shurina unpacks why our brains resist change at a biological level and how to make resistance smaller.   

Armed with 15+ years of coaching experience, Angela shares a powerful 4-step framework anyone can use to navigate transitions more effectively, and lead others - family, team, organizations - through change smoother.  

 
This episode offers particular value for leaders guiding teams through organizational changes. Understanding that resistance isn't personal but neurological can transform your approach to change management. The same principles that help us adapt to a new home apply to career shifts, relationship evolutions, and organizational transformations. 

In a world where the pace of change continues to accelerate, mastering transitions isn't just helpful—it's essential. Whether you're facing a personal or professional transition, or leading others through change, this episode provides the blueprint for smoother, more productive adaptations.  

Listen, apply, and share with someone who might benefit from understanding why new feels wrong, even when it's right.  

Transcript

Welcome to ChangeWired Podcast

Speaker 1 0:00

Hi, guys, and welcome back to another episode of ChangeWired podcast. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host, I'm your change agent and an executive coach with more than 15 years of experience helping ambitious people, leaders, just people who want to create something extraordinary out of their lives. Helping them to find the tools, use them, apply, learn about them, go through many, many transitions, on all with a vision to create the life experience that you absolutely love living Today. Guys, as you probably guessed, we are talking about transitions on this podcast, and if our reality is of any indication, then we are all going through some transitions, more and more of them, as the pace of change seems to be accelerating and probably not going to slow down, with everything that's happening with AI and technology and just the world getting more connected and more aware of things and there is just so much information about everything. And because of that, because of the rate of exchange of information which technology enables and then again, ai helps us to think better and create more ideas and share those ideas better. Because of this, transitions will not slow down, and it's a good thing. But before we jump into why it's a good thing and how it's amazing to you, it's the time when you have more opportunities than ever to build whatever dream goal, life that you aspire to create. This is the best time to be alive. But before we jump into that, have you ever wondered why everything new, even though it's getting you to a better place or it's objectively better from the beginning, why new feels weird, awkward, very often wrong? Let me read you a quote from Alan Watts, one of the greatest philosophers, thinkers out there the only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, enjoy the dance.

Speaker 1 2:29

Some research from neuroscientists. Neuroscientists have found that the brain resists change because it craves efficiency and familiarity. The amygdala, the fear center, is responsible for processing discomfort, often triggers resistance when faced with the unknown. And why our brain wants to stay stuck, guys. Why is that? Well, because everything, every change, requires upfront investment investment of energy, investment of time, investment of money. Often, and the worst thing, the future on the other side is not guaranteed. Of course, the future is never really guaranteed. Even if you stay the same, things will change around you. So the comfort of familiar it's just an illusion. Things will change. You stay still, things will change Even if you stand outside. The weather will change. People will go around you. I don't know animals. The light will change the time of the day. Things will change. People will go around you. I don't know animals. The light will change the time of the day. Things will change no matter whether you stand still or you move with it. But very often when you move with it, it gets better, right, but anyhow, why does our brain resist? Well, because of this upfront investment.

Speaker 1 3:39

And your brain hates wasting energy, hates inefficiencies. Your brain hates wasting energy, hates inefficiencies. Your brain's primary purpose is to keep you alive and energy is the currency of life. So when you invest, when you have to spend more of it, your brain doesn't like it Because it wants to save it. It wants to keep you alive, not necessarily thriving, but saving energy, because, as far as your brain concerns, you just don't know what's going to happen.

Personal Transition Story

Speaker 1 4:08

Okay, now why I'm talking about transitions today. I just moved to a new place. It's a new apartment and, objectively, it is better than my old place. It has better views, it's closer to the places where I need to go, it has bigger desk, which I always appreciate because I love drawing and writing, and nicer neighborhood, nicer neighbors, but I feel that feeling of well, it's strong, it feels uncomfortable, I miss my old place, I don't like this and this, and there is like a little bit of negativity underlying my old place. I don't like this and this, and there is like a little bit of negativity underlying my whole day. This is my first day in my new apartment, but because I know that this happens every time I go through anything new, even though it's objectively better, I always am going to feel this wrongness of saying, or that it feels weird and uncomfortable and I just want to get back to normal. Right? I want you to realize that this is what transition, what change, is supposed to feel like. This is how it's designed to feel like.

The 4-Step Transition Playbook

Speaker 1 5:23

That's why people stay in the job they hate for years and years often, and take into consideration so many things before jumping into a new job, even though, objectively, from all the perspectives, your new job is better. Or that's why people stay stuck in the same relationship for years, and a lot of people those people came to me, to my coaching, with this like sourness this relationship doesn't work, but you know I have to stay in it. Well, you don't. What I'm saying is transition, change, will always feel uncomfortable. And the reason it feels uncomfortable is that it's biologically wired in your brain. Your brain wants you to stay stuck quote unquote because familiar, from your brain's perspective at least. It's devil, it might be devil, but it's familiar and your brain knows how much energy it requires to maintain it. And that's why your brain's, because of your brain's primary purpose to keep you surviving your brain wants you to stay where you are Because the future, especially if you're moving there, will require upfront investment and is uncertain and your brain, again, does not like doing upfront investment.

Speaker 1 6:36

And again back to a broader theme also change and transition at workplace. If you are a leader, if you manage people, if you lead people, please realize that every time you propose anything new, however small or big, people will go through the same resistance to change, to transition, this negativity arc. So the first feeling people experience when you propose anything new, that means change people will experience negativity. So how do you deal with that and how do I help myself to transition into a more positive state, more welcoming, more embracing state of change? And how can you help yourself and other people so you can go through change smoother, faster, so you keep evolving faster, keep growing and keep expanding your life and keep expanding maybe your family or your company or your team and the impact that you create you personally and collectively. So what to do? There is actually a very simple playbook that allows you to go through transitions, to lead transitions much better again, personally, for yourself, also for your family, for your team, for your company and maybe the entire world one day.

Speaker 1 7:55

Number one realizing that this is normal will help you immensely. For me, realizing that this negativity is normal whenever I move to any place, even if it's like six-bedroom mansion, I would still feel negative and would want to go to my old place. Just realizing that and saying that's okay, that's what happens when I move into a new place new career, new relationship, etc. You'll feel negative. Number two highlight the positive. Consciously focus on things that are better, that you like about your new situation, about my new apartment, like bigger desk views, better cooking place, better neighborhood. Highlight those things that are better. Highlight them for yourself. Highlight them for people you lead, for your family, for your company, for your team.

Speaker 1 8:52

Number three bring some familiar with you. As soon as I move into a new place, I put out some books that I bring, that I carry around the world books that I bring, that I carry around the world books on entrepreneurship and these days also on strategy and transitions and change. Also around the world, I carry my dad's craft, which is a small toy that my dad gave to me and then it broke and then he repaired it. So I carry it. It's small and I always put it out on my desk no matter where I move. Where in the world I am, I have my mug that says I can and I will, and yes, there are cups everywhere, but I carry it with me. It's like my little piece of home, of safety, of familiarity, no matter where I go. So create this for yourself as well. Create this for other people. Bring the familiar with you, parts and pieces so it feels more like huh, it's kind of the same. So your brain feels less resistance, familiar, unfamiliar, in the familiar wrapper.

Recap

Speaker 1 10:02

And number four, create a brighter, bigger, more compelling future for yourself and people who you're helping through transitions. What it means is just paint a picture this place, this new job, this new position, this new thing that we are doing. It's going to be better because it's going to create more impact. It's going to help us to do this and this and that You're going to create more impact. It's going to help us to do this and this, and that You're going to enjoy your walks. You're going to enjoy your views, you're going to enjoy a better company, whatever that is. Create a brighter, bigger, more compelling future. Why this relationship is going to be better, why this job is going to be better. What's good already. Highlight the positive, because your brain will negatively, as it usually does, by default, go into negatives. So four steps Again.

Speaker 1 10:54

Let's recap. Number one accept the fact that you're going to feel this negativity. Your brain doesn't like change and transitions. Number two focus on the positives about around your new situation. Pay attention, focus, highlight those positive moments and things in your surrounding. Number three bring some familiarity with you, like the books, the toys, your favorite cup. A lot of people do that when they come to a new office, when they transition to a new company or go to a new position, they put those pictures, those quotes, whatever that helps them to get through transition better and feel at home, feel like you know, I got it, I'm still in my habitat, so to speak. Bring some familiarity with you.

Speaker 1 11:47

And fourth, and it's a very important one, create a bright picture of the future that you are growing into, that you are changing into, that you are transitioning into, and do this for people you love, for people you lead your team, your company, your family, whoever is going through transition, remember those four steps. Number one help them realize that this is normal, how they feel the negativity, the discomfort, the wrongness of things. Number two focus on the positive what is going to be better and what is better. Number three bring some familiarity with them. Help them to I don't know pack some stuff so they have a sense of home environment with them. And then, number four, create a bigger, brighter, better future.

Episode Closing and Next Episode Preview

Speaker 1 12:36

And because of how many transitions we are going to be going through, collectively and personally, just keep this in mind. And whenever you see you meet, whenever someone in your environment, whenever you are going through transitions and need a reminder that this is normal and this is what you do to make it smoother and better and brighter so you evolve and grow and create more impact faster, just share this episode, highlight it, save it, put a bookmark, whatever it takes, so you don't lose it. Remember it's out there. Share with other people, share with your family, share with your team. Make it a homework, a piece of homework for people around you to learn about this. So, collectively, you go through transitions better and you help each other. If somebody forgets, somebody else will remind, learn together and go through transitions together and lead better through these transitions, whether that's, again, family or team or the whole organization.

Speaker 1 13:40

I hope, guys, you found this podcast episode useful. Come back to it whenever you feel you need a reminder and you're going through a bigger transition. And don't forget to share, because that's how we collectively help each other to get through transitions better, to grow, evolve faster. So share this episode with at least one other person but I suggest the whole team, family or a company and stay tuned for a Wednesday where we're gonna go through our wellness episode wellness tips and strategies to help you grow, evolve, change and create better, more impactful version of yourself and things you do in the world. So stay tuned, share and happy transitions.