How to never forget to do things. A 4-step system to manage an overwhelmed mind.

TUNE IN TO LEARN:  

Every day we wake up to expanding to-do lists, countless open tabs, and the gnawing feeling that we're falling behind. Sound familiar?  

It's not just you - it's the natural result of living in an accelerating world where AI, content, and expectations multiply faster than we can keep up. 

But what if your frustration with "not getting things done" isn't a personal failure but simply the result of working against your brain's natural wiring?  

In this episode we break down the behavioral science behind why willpower alone fails and how to deal with increasing forgetfulness :) - a practical four-step system will transform how you approach tasks and responsibilities.  

Quit frustration - welcome to getting all the IMPORTANT done consistently and reliably.  

Drawing from Stanford scientist BJ Fogg's groundbreaking behavior model (Behavior = Motivation + Ability + Prompt) and insights from neuroscience, We reveal why our brains function much like apps - without the right trigger, action simply doesn't happen. You'll discover why "what looks like resistance is often a lack of clarity" and how this insight can free you from the shame spiral of repeatedly forgetting important tasks. 

Ready to transform your relationship with productivity and reclaim your sense of control? Listen now, and remember to share this episode with someone who might benefit from breaking free of overwhelm and building systems that actually work.  

https://calendly.com/angelashurina/executive-momentum-360  

Transcript

Welcome to Change Wired Podcast

Speaker 1 0:00

Hi, friends, and welcome back to Change Wired Podcast, the podcast for people who love evolving. One habit, one insight, one bold action at a time. My name is Angela Shurina, I'm your host and executive coach. 360, helping leaders, change agents and ambitious people to shape their minds, bodies and systems for work, to deliver more impact and live the most fulfilling lives. Also evolving my Change Leadership and Culture Transformation consultancy on a mission to turn workplaces into gardens where human potential grows.

The Overwhelm of Modern Life

Speaker 1 0:51

Today, guys, I'm excited to talk about one of my favorite topics changing our behavior and creating systems for getting shit done. Because if there is no action, there is no result in real life. Whatever we think, whatever we say, we value, we want to create, we want to manifest, achieve, improve, grow If there is no action supporting that, nothing's going to happen in real world. It might happen in our imagination, but I'm definitely feeling it. You know, I wake up sometimes and feel like to-do list is just keep expanding and growing, and there have never been so many things to learn, to improve, to do, to research, to figure out, to keep my tab open on, to keep up with. And that's what I'm hearing from my friends, my family, from people I work with, it's everywhere and it's what I'm hearing from my friends, my family, from people I work with. It's everywhere and it's understandable. Ai is accelerating everything and there is more content, just more stuff. But you don't have to get frustrated with yourself for not getting it all done or not having it all figured out or not having it all done or not having it all figured out or not having it all under control or managing it. Before we learn how to master something, how to live with something, how to manage it, we usually get overwhelmed with it. But now, objectively, the speed of everything is accelerating and so it might feel like that pace has never been like this before, and you might be right. But some people learn how to build better systems instead of well. Personal experience, personal story I used to get frustrated with myself for not getting things done, for always pushing something back for whether that's creating a change leadership roundtable on LinkedIn, creating a free resource to make people sign up for my newsletter and see the value in it, so I could impact in a positive way more people.

Four-Step Process for Getting Things Done

Speaker 1 3:22

I used to get frustrated for not getting all the things that I want to do that I say I got to do, I must do. And then I developed a better system, instead of following insanity principle that I forgot this again, I forgot this again, I get frustrated again and then getting upset with myself and then forgetting that and getting upset again, entering and never quitting this insanity loop, right Insanity principle doing the same thing, expecting different results. And then at some point, I realized I'm just not following behavior science and what I know about the human brain. And these days, instead of getting frustrated with myself, I put on my detective hat and I investigate. Do I follow the best known practices, procedures for getting things done, instead of forgetting them or feeling overwhelmed like there is too much? And here is what I do my process based on behavioral science, based on neuroscience, based on best practices. Like we know, if we won't get things done, this is how it has to be done.

Speaker 1 4:32

And the first step that I follow, the first question I ask myself is it even a priority? Or is it something that landed in my email or or I'd read it on LinkedIn or Instagram or some article? It landed there and because of that, it felt important and I decided to put it on my to-do list. Or maybe my friends or maybe somebody, maybe another coach, another consultant shared it and now it feels like it's priority. But is it actually my priority? Is it contributing to something meaningful, short and long term? For me Is it no. And if it's not contributing to anything that's on my priority list but more like a formal, I follow fear of missing out. Then I do two things. If it is a priority, then I'm going to tell you the next step. If it's not, what I do is say, okay, it's not a priority. Is it going to be a priority ever? If not, I allow myself to drop the ball. There are all the things happening and people do stuff all the time. It doesn't mean that I need to do it. I don't have the capacity to do everything that everyone does in my professional network or in my personal network, and so if it's not my priority, then I allow myself to drop it.

Speaker 1 5:52

The second thing if it is a priority, I ask myself for now or later? If it's for later, I schedule it to follow up. Let's say it might make sense to follow up on this creation of, I don't know, change leadership roundtable or a new podcast, whatever that might be, if it is a priority. But for later, I schedule to follow up for later. So I would sit down and look at my calendar and I would schedule it for months from now, two months from now, whatever makes sense. Maybe it's a six months from now kind of thing. If it is a priority for now, then I get to the next step. I ask myself okay, if that's a priority right now, let me get to my calendar and put it on my calendar. Is that exact day, exact time and evaluating, okay, how much time it's going to take? And if it's a multi-step process, then let me take a look at the first step and then schedule that for, let's say, two hours on Monday May 19th. So you schedule it and then the next one, the necessary step follows up and you need to do it. If you actually are committed to getting it done, you need to ask yourself and I love this quote. I want to share it first with you what looks like.

Behavior Science: The Missing Trigger

Speaker 1 7:14

Resistance is often a lack of clarity, and this is from the book Switch on Behavioral Psychology and how to Change Things. Well, switch how to Change Things when Change is Hard. It's all about change, behavior, habits and ourselves. So I asked myself this question am I clear enough on the whole process? Do I have a step-by-step clarity in my head. And do I have all the resources, all the knowledge, all the tools, all the systems to make this happen? So are you clear enough? Again, what often looks like resistance is actually a lack of clarity. So, are you clear on that? And if I'm not, I sit down and I write down the step-by-step process. And while writing it down, I find out that, ah, I actually don't know how to do that, or I don't have the resource and that's why I'm delaying it, because there is this, another process that I have to do before that, before even starting that thing that I say I need to do. And so the first step, action step is actually doing that thing that you don't have in order to get to the thing that you need to do in order to get that thing done. So that's the whole process Ask yourself, do you have that clarity or not? And you need to maybe ask a person learn something, buy something, figure something out, learn again, upgrade your knowledge base. And then the last step, last but not least, bj Falk. He is a behavior scientist in Stanford and he created this amazing behavior model that just works magic.

Speaker 1 8:56

Behavior equals motivation, ability, prompt Motivation, your desire, like why it's important, et cetera. Ability do you have the tools? Is it easy? The things that you just heard, and then prompt. Our brain works like an app. If you don't push the button, there is no action, no trigger, no action. And so very often we would say oh, I got to do this thing, I got to remember to do this thing. If there is no cue, no trigger in your environment, nothing to remind you, no one to remind you, if it's not on your calendar, if it's nowhere where you would actually see it when you need to take the action, then it's not going to happen. Our brain is very bad at remembering a lot of things Like long-term. Yes, we remember memories, we remember things that changes like. We have these skills especially for the things that we use often. But for those short-term things, which are outside of our routine and habit, we actually don't remember much at all. And with more stuff coming landing on our plate, that ability diminishes with each single thing landing on that plate. So what's the solution? Back to BJ Fogg Behavior equals motivation, ability. Prompt when one is missing, behavior doesn't happen.

Speaker 1 10:15

Prompt what's going to remind you in a way that actually you will see and will act on what will remind you or who will remind you of getting this thing done. And it can be a trigger, like an alarm or an event on your calendar or email, whatever does it for you, and that's a person telling you that. Or it can be part of the habit, those intention implementation things that I do with my clients. Let's say, I finished brushing my teeth and I'm going to sit and work on that thing. Or I'm going to do my journaling exercises, I'm going to do my gratitude exercises, I'm going to do my podcast, I'm going to do my writing. So the trigger is actually the routine. Now, obviously, for the first time, you somehow also need to make sure that you are reminded of that routine. Maybe put a sticky note on your mirror to remind you the next morning to start this routine when you brush your teeth, and then maybe you do your yoga or breathing exercises or your journaling or your writing, whatever that might be. So there has to be a trigger.

Speaker 1 11:20

Again, bj Falk, neuroscientist and behavior scientist from Stanford, behavior equals motivation, ability. Prompt Behavior does not happen if one is missing, like a trigger, like a cue, and I recently was reminded of that reading Design for Behavior Change, another book that compiles a lot of research on behavior change, designing for behavior change. And there it was cue trigger. So what is your cue? What is your trigger? You're still trying to just remember it and then getting frustrated with yourself and then trying to remember again and then getting frustrated again. The insanity principle it just doesn't work for a human brain. Again, it's like an app no button, no action. So if you don't have a trigger, you're not going to remember doing this new thing, especially if there is no clarity, especially if you've got to learn or do something or get in touch with someone, especially if it's not on your calendar. And especially if it's got to learn or do something or get in touch with someone, especially if it's not on your calendar and especially if it's not your priority.

Making Choices That Matter

Speaker 1 12:20

To sum it up, four-step process when you keep judging yourself for forgetting things. What is missing for you? Number one is it a priority? If it's not, schedule it for later. If it is, schedule it for sooner. Number two is it clear? Do I have a step-by-step? Do I have all the resources, all the knowledge? And if it's not work on that first, number three well, actually, number two schedule it. Number three is it clear enough? And number four do I have the trigger? Is there something to remind me to actually do that? Because if there is no trigger, remember, behavior equals motivation, ability, prompt. No trigger, no action, no button, no app opening. And that's how your brain works, instead of, again, guys, getting frustrated with ourselves, with the overwhelm, with deployed, getting more and more things and we're getting more and more behind.

Speaker 1 13:19

Step number one is very important. It's essential. Is it your priority or is it fear of missing out? And everyone is on that wagon, right? So clarify that. Schedule it, look into your calendar. Schedule for later, schedule for now Drop it. Number three am I clear enough? Do I have the step-by-step process? Do I have all the resources? And number four do I have the trigger? Do I have it?

Episode Closing and Call to Action

Speaker 1 13:43

And when you start using the system, you'll learn that a lot of that frustration like actually all of that frustration, will go away. Yes, you will feel overwhelmed, but you'll also know how to handle it and hopefully you'll also understand that, no, there is no such thing as limitless time, opportunities, resources, energy. So you have to make choices, otherwise you're going to be running from one emergency to another, from one to do to another, not really adding value to your own life, not really adding fulfillment and meaning. Not everything that everyone says should make you happy will make you happy. So make sure that you are very clear on what your priorities are and what the path or the journey that you choose in this life. And if you're not sure, there is a link in the show notes and you can schedule your free trial session with your own executive coach, 360, angela Sharina, who might help you to find your own compass and figure out if you are on the right path or what is your right path. I don't have the answers, but I can help you to find your own, so schedule it if you need clarity so you don't feel overwhelmed and don't get frustrated with not remembering to get all of it done. Hope you got some amazing value, usefulness which will help you to prevent overwhelm and frustration with not getting everything done.

Speaker 1 15:13

Share this podcast episode, guys. Let's reach more ears. Let's make the world better, one brain at a time. I cannot do it without you, so please do share with at least one person your family member, your friend, your relative, kid, spouse, stranger. Please do share this podcast If you need help with clarification, like what it is I want to do or what my priorities are. Use the link to schedule our trial session. And till next time, keep growing and I'll talk to you very soon.