Why most New Year resolutions fail by Jan 15th. And how to make YOURS last in 2026.

Resolutions don’t fail because you’re undisciplined; they fail because the system around you was never built to help you win.

Kicking off 2026, we get brutally practical about why goals crumble by mid-January and how to make behavior change stick using evidence, not hype. Drawing on research from behavioral scientists like Katy Milkman and hard-won coaching lessons, we unpack 7 common traps and turn each one into a simple, brain-friendly plan you can use today.


By the end, you’ll know exactly which bottleneck holds you back and how to install a system to fix it, whether that’s a two-minute starter habit, a standing calendar cue, a lockbox for your phone, or a rule that pairs your favorite show with the treadmill. Trade willpower for design and watch consistency become your new default.

If this conversation sparks a plan, share it with a friend who needs it, hit follow, and leave a quick review so more high performers can find us. What’s the one system you’ll set up today?  

Transcript

New Year, Real Talk On Change

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Hello, and welcome to the first episode of 2026 of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Shorina. I'm your host. I'm your executive health and high performance coach, a partner in change, transformation, personal and collective evolution, and just someone with a lot of passion for human potential, unlocking and using more of it to create the most amazing world and live the most extraordinary lives. Today, guys, as this with this whole vibe of new year resolutions, we're gonna talk about new year resolutions. Specifically, why so many new resolutions and goal setting fails. Actually, when it comes to new year resolutions, most of them fail by about January 15th. We're gonna talk about seven reasons why we are so bad with following through. And with each of these reasons, we're gonna talk about specific evidence and research-backed strategy to address those reasons why it is so hard for us to follow through on a lot of change that we decide to do in 2026 and beyond. She is uh she works at the University of Pennsylvania, also is a lecturer professor at some of the most uh not famous, but the most uh the best uh business schools. And uh what Katie Milkman, Professor Katie Milkman, does for a living is she studies the science of behavior change and hence the book How to Change. And so when she came to Mel Robin's podcast, she shared seven most common reasons why we people fail to follow through, and she shared a lot of different solutions and strategies to overcome those reasons or our tendencies to not do what we say we want to do. You know, there is one thing that I learned in 18 years of my coaching and 38 years of living. I've learned this. You don't wake up different. Like, ah, you whether that's you know January 1st, 2026, or your birthday, your Monday, you don't wake up different. Not on Monday, not on birthday, not on New Year's Day. Never. If a change lasts and you change, it's because you worked for it. So, what actually stops us from working on it? We say we want it, right? So why don't we just do it? Uh here are seven reasons why we don't and what to do about it. So, first seven reasons. Quick list. It's hard to start. We are impulsive, we choose what's pleasurable now, not gonna be good for us, say, in I don't know, a week, a month, or a decade from now. We procrastinate, later always feels better and safer and somehow more perfect. We simply forget about the things that we said we were gonna do, but then something else came up and we did that instead. We default to what's easiest, not what we need or war or want what matters the most, but what's easiest right now. And then we copy people around us, people who we refer to, who we compare ourselves to, or people who we for some reason respect. Like, for example, our parents, they have a lot of status and uh respect from us because they are our initial caregivers. Here is the good news: you know, with all of these reasons, there is a lot of research and strategies that science brings to us research and evidence that teach us how to overcome all of this without becoming a different person and waking up a different you on January 1st, without suddenly getting superhuman discipline and motivation and willpower, which research shows don't really work, at least not long term. We're gonna talk about right now what I've learned on this podcast, what I was reminded of, and also about different strategies that I personally learned and saw working in almost two decades of coaching, real humans, including myself. And I've gone through quite a lot of changes before arriving into the situations where into the situation where I can change almost any habit. I struggle with things I don't understand, like for example, business building business. There are so many things that I'm still that I still need to learn. But one thing I never struggle with is a repeated regret. Like I want to do this, but for some reason I don't do this, I don't struggle with that, and I almost lose lost my understanding of why do people struggle it in the first place because I got so good with using systems, not with my willpower, as somebody might think, and a lot of people do. So let's talk about the reasons why it's so hard for us to change and strategies on how to overcome the struggle. First, hard to start, right? Sometimes it's just like hard to take the first step for whichever reason. Well, the reason might be first, from my personal experience, that you make it too complex, too hard. Like you want to start working out, and you decided that you need to do some this like I don't know, CrossFit or some complex workout, and you gotta wake up every day from now on at 5 a.m. and go to the gym, which is in some faraway galaxy, and do it while it's dark. We create all of this like weird complex thrills that don't that scare uh the heck out of our brain and don't allow us, just create too much friction in this beginning stage. So, what research shows that we can use to overcome that? Well, clarify and simplify using you know a tip from James Clear, the habit guy, the author of Atomic Habits, shrink down your habit. He suggests shrinking it down to like two-minute version or less. I'll just always, whenever I work with my clients, I always recommend like what could be the easiest version of this habit that you almost can't help yourself but start doing because it is so clear and simple and you understand exactly why you want to do it, how to do it, when to do it. Clarity and simplicity offer some momentum and discipline and motivation. Also, what Katie Milkman recommended on this podcast with Mel Roberts is to use those fresh starts, that uh fresh start effect, what it's called in uh behavioral science, when you are at the beginning of the year, when you are at the beginning of the week, when maybe it is your birthday, or maybe you moved or started a new career, use those fresh start milestones to jumpstart the change that gives you a little bit more feeling. You know, now it's different. Now I feel like I can handle it. So use it because it can help you to start easy because it does feel like it's a meaningful date, it's a meaningful moment that where you can uh start the change that you failed to do for so long. Or maybe it's your 35th birthday, maybe it's your 40th or 45th or 50th birthday. Those things matter to people. And did you know that, for example, people run the most marathons in their ninth year of the decade, like when they're 29 or when they're 39 or when they're 49, and the reason is because it feels special to go through this life's milestones. So use it when you have it, but understand that without a system, it's not gonna last. So, speaking about systems, let's talk about other things that stop us in our tracks from doing the actions that we know we wanna do to achieve the transformational results we we want. Impulsivity. Uh doing the thing that feels good now versus something that's gonna feel good in our life or in our career, in our relationships, uh days, months, and years from now. So, how do we overcome it? You know, somebody asked me not so long ago, like, how do I start exercising if I hate it? And I I looked at the person, I'm like, don't start what you hate. Start with something you might potentially like or laugh or enjoy. Uh start walking, dancing, doing something on your treadmill while watching your favorite show that is also known as temptation bundling, doing what you like, like watching your favorite show with what you don't like that much, like doing boring card cardio. Many of my clients binge in Netflix their favorite shows on treadmill or stationary bike, and then you see on their watch on their stats, like showing they've been on a bike for two hours, and I'm like, I wonder what they were watching at that time. Definitely not just sitting there and paddling away. So, impulsivity. The core of all the strategies that deal with impulsivity is figure out how to enjoy what you need right now. So the payoff is not in just some distant future, but also is exactly right now. Number three, reason number three why it's so difficult for us to do what we gotta do, and why all s why so many resolutions die before they can give you a payoff? Procrastination, delaying things till tomorrow. What helps? Deadlines help? Accountability with other people help? Just think, you know, I want to do this thing. Can you remind me every day that I said I would do this thing? It's very hard to find excuses for other people, it's very easy to find them for ourselves. Rewards also help, like similar to temptation bundling. What it is that you like doing? Maybe allow yourself that only when you finish a certain thing. Like, for example, I do it in a very simple way. Let's say I'm working on this podcast and I want to have a piece of fruit or my favorite tea drink or some skinny hot chocolate. So, what I do is I allow myself to have it only after I finish this task. And if I don't finish this task, like I can't have my hot skin chocolate for the day. Right? So uh I and because I want to have my chocolate sooner than later, I'm like, okay, I'm gonna finish this because I also know that if I delay it till later, then there are probability that I'm gonna do it actually less and less or less. So I know that about myself. But then also having someone accountable, like having my subscribers who notice if I don't release episodes, or telling someone, you know, I'm gonna release episode on that on Saturday and I'm gonna share it with you. And I know that I said that to the piece to the person, and I want to be the person who follows through on what I promise. And so these things really work. Or if you work uh on if you are working on a project with somebody else, and then tell them exactly on what day you're gonna send that to them so they can rely on that. And again, we humans uh care more about what we promise to others than what we promise to ourselves. That's why also coaching works, one of the reasons, because when we promise it to a coach, it's hard to just go to a session and like you know, I didn't do it because, well, I was lazy and I watched Netflix. No, people usually are much better again with keeping our promises, so at least doing our very best to keep those promises to others than to ourselves. So use it to deal with procrastination and delay, or maybe have this hot chocolate reward if it works for you to get things done faster. Forgetting. You forget things. The next reason you forget well, so everybody. That's why smart people use calendars and alarms and checklists and and other humans who will remind them. Surgeons, for example, and pilots rely on checklists to make sure that the procedure goes well every time. They rely on checklists, not memory, even though they're quite smart people. Why should you be any different? That's my question. Concrete plans also matter, like when, where, how, with whom you will do it. For example, when I make my morning coffee, I'll send WhatsApp messages to all of my clients. So coffee appears and messages get sent. Your brain loves concrete plans. Your brain is like an app on your phone. You have a cue like morning coffee, then there's supposed to be an action or an app on your phone, like writing your messages, and then there is a reward. Just feeling good. I said I did it, and my clients are doing better because of this, uh, or at least have the possibility to do better. So don't forget, use concrete plans, set reminders, have checklists. That's whatever system works for you, that's how people stop forgetting. They create better systems so they don't try to keep all their life in their heads. That's just impossible. Also, as we talked about on one of our previous episodes, that doesn't allow you to then cognitively be sharper and do your best work, you'll be most creative, you will you will start feeling overwhelmed, etc. So stop forgetting, start using systems. That's the theme of this whole podcast episode. Now, the next one, feeling lazy. Who hasn't been there? Everybody, congratulations! Your brain is working as designed. The fix isn't to become not lazy or motivation or discipline or environment. You know, even special forces, even Navy SEALs don't use their discipline that much, unless absolutely have to, but definitely not for the things they gotta do every day. So instead, make things easier, make them default, make them automatic. Cut fruit and leave it visible so you'll eat more of that. Buy prepared vegetables, don't struggle with cutting and peeling, which I personally hate and never could do for prolonged periods of time. That's why I buy them convenient. Exercise at home instead of someday at some faraway gym. Galaxy. Put books if you want to read more where your phone is and hide your phone away or put it in one of those cases those safes where you put your phone, you put the timer, and until the timer goes off, you can't use your phone. Keep junk food out of the house. If you wanna eat less of it, why is it in your house? Most people know this, and very few do it. Uh, working with my clients for 18 years, I learned one thing. You know, because my workers, quite successful people, they're like, no, I'm just gonna do it. We like to think we're above biology. We're not, you are not, one of some of the successful people are not. Smart people use systems again, not willpower. So if you find yourself being lazy, it just means that you did not learn how to make at least the beginning simpler, easier, and defaulting and automating things you want to do more of. And then the last but not least, conformity with your social circle. But nobody does this in my family, or my friends don't do exercise and they scroll and they watch TV and they go into bed late and they eat whatever. Choose a different comparison group, at least for that behavior. If I'm going to scroll, or I curate what I scroll, I make sure to like and watch more of things on change, on health, research, business, self-development, cool workout moves, and the algorithm, whatever that algorithm is, listens and then delivers to me more of that stuff that motivates me to do more of the stuff that I want to do. And then I look up to entrepreneurs, to people who keep themselves fit, people who do deep work and create amazing personal brands and body work. Like those are my reference group. Yes, I have neighbors and parents and friends who don't do any of that stuff and just want to take it easy, but I don't compare them myself to them. Not because I'm above them, but because this is not what I want to be. This is not how I want my life to be. Everyone has the right to choose their own thing, and that is not my thing. That is all. And then I get to look up to people who actually do the life that I want to live. So choose new reference group. You are not the average of people closest to you. You are the average of people who you compare yourself to. So compare up your role models, your new standards. So who are you comparing yourself to in 2026? So the bottom line, guys, let's repeat these seven not deadly sins, but seven reasons why it's so hard for us to keep our new year resolutions, and we just talk through all the strategies that are better than discipline, willpower, and motivation combined. So the seven reasons it's hard to start. We're impulsive, we choose the pleasure now, we procrastinate, later, feel safer, we forget, we default to what's easiest, we copy the people around us, and all of that comes down, like working with that, overcoming that, all comes down to simple systems, a tool that works with your human brain. You have one. So work with that, not against it, wishing for a new brain, new you, or maybe a parallel universe where you are the most disciplined, willpower, and motivated person on the planet. So, over to you, dear listener, knowing your patterns, your obstacles, where you fail and how you fail, what new systems will you try to help you design change more intentionally and intelligently, brain friendly in 2026? What are those systems that you? You can benefit from. Don't hope that you'll wake up different, create different systems all around you and work with you are as you are, not with you as you wish you were. Okay, so if you found this podcast insightful and useful, please do share at least with one other person who might be, just might be struggling with the same reasons that we all struggle with when trying to make New Year's resolutions or any goal come true. So please do share, review, rate. It helps us to reach more learning, high-performing ears all over the world. Let's change the world together one person at a time. So please review, rate, and share. And till next time, my only ask for you is to think about one system, one system that have a much better chance to help you achieve and keep your resolutions, your goals, your aspirations, and everything you want to achieve in 2026 and beyond. Thank you for listening and till next time, keep growing.