Regret-Proof Decisions: how to use your regrets to create a fulfilling, aligned life, better business and relationships outcomes.

Regret can feel like a punch to the gut, but it’s one of the most underrated decision-making tools we have.

When a choice leaves that bitter, lingering “that wasn’t right” feeling, it’s often not random emotion. It’s a signal that something important in you just got ignored.

I walk you through a real decision I made too quickly.

We dig into values-based decision making, why trade-offs are unavoidable, and how to stop choosing from a place of stress, people-pleasing, or a packed schedule. I also share the values assessment I like (the Values Bridge Assessment by Susie Welch) and why “I know my values” isn’t enough if you can’t name them or act on them day to day.

If you’re navigating leadership decisions, career moves, or any high-stakes personal choice, you’ll leave with a simple method to turn regret into alignment and make choices you’re proud of later.

If this helps, subscribe, share it with one person who’s struggling with a decision right now, and leave a review so more people can find the show.

Values-Bridge Assessment: https://thevaluesbridge.com/

Executive-Coaching Session to Work Through Tough Decisions: https://calendly.com/angelashurina/executive-momentum-360

Transcript

Welcome And The Decision Framework

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of Change Wired Podcast. My name is Angela Shorina. I'm your host. I'm your partner in Change, Personnel and Collective Evolution, your master health, sleep stress management, executive and self-actualization coach, and just someone who is here with you on a journey of learning how to use, unlock, discover more of our human potential. So together we can create the most extraordinary world around us, living great lives, fulfilled, aligned, and creating more positive impact in the world. Today, guys, we are talking about decision making. And by the end of this podcast, you're gonna learn a very simple framework which is based on decision-making methodologies done and research people far smarter than myself. So decision-making framework that will allow you to use your regrets to make better decisions, more aligned, more fulfilling, something that feels right moving forward. Just one simple framework, but it will

A Rushed No And Bitter Regret

SPEAKER_00 1:25

help you a lot to shape the life that feels more and more true to yourself. So let's begin. So I teach decision making. It was a pro bono gig. And it was last minute in my defense. And I said no. Because also I'm going away for a month's uh visiting back home my parents, and I had all these like social engagements and of the more work and different projects, and it just all felt hectic and overwhelming. And I'm like, yeah, there is no way. I just say no. And I said it in a somewhat rush without sitting down with myself. I'm like, shh, like shh, shh, is it a good way to is it is it is a good decision, not a good decision? Like I'm gonna walk you through my process just now. But after it passed and I sat down with myself, I immediately felt, oh shh, that actually feels not right. That feels bitter, like it's a wrong decision. And during my weekly reflection that I usually do either on Saturdays or Sundays, I decided to sit down with myself and talk myself through, explore this negative feeling where it's coming from, and whether I should adjust anything about my decision making moving forward. And so on Sunday, I sat down with myself, and the feeling of bitterness and this not being the right decision was still there. I'm like, okay, that's interesting. Why is it there? Is it because you know I spoke quite a few times and did quite a few workshops in the ecosystem and I knew the people? Was it because I was just not comfortable with saying no to them? Or was there something deeper, something more important? Because you know, saying no sometimes, uh, even though we like to help people, to please people, to be, I don't know, a team player and be there for others. But saying no feels uncomfortable. But it is needed in order to create a life path that feels good to us. Because at the end of the day, nobody's gonna be at the end of your life there thinking for you, are you living your fulfilling life, making yourself happy? Nobody's gonna be there, only you gonna be there. And so choose your battles, choose things that you care about, and care about them fully and deeply with your action and commitment and energy and your thinking and everything you're made of. And so, Sunday reflection, I look at this decision, and when decision feels

Check The Decision Against Values

SPEAKER_00 4:42

not right, it is almost in 100% cases a sign to sit down and reflect on the decision against your values. And that is where knowing your values and doing some work, doing some assessments, like I specifically in terms of values, I love this values bridge assessment done by a researcher, a PhD, an executive coach, Susie Welch, who teaches the science, literally science of becoming you. And one of the things that uh she helped to create is this value values bridge assessment, which uh allows you to understand what you truly care about in life from your core and where you need to invest your energy, your resources, your time in order for you to build a life that feels right, fulfilling, and happy. The values assessment breach, I'm not affiliated, I took it, I love it, I read the book, it's amazing. So I'm linking it in the show notes in case you need to understand yourself better. And the report is great, and it's then it will allow you to do what I'm about to use, you know, to tell you about uh for better decision making. You can also use other values assessments, whatever you do, but just make sure to be very clear about what your values are, what they mean, and how to act on them. And so I sat

Core Values That Drive Choices

SPEAKER_00 6:10

down with my values and my decision, and I have five core values, guys. And let me read you what those values are uh from my blog. My core values, number one, the strongest one, radius, and that is again from Susie Welsh assessment. And radios is all about creating positive impact in the world by helping purpose-driven leaders, entrepreneurs, achievers, leaders, like again, on all in all spaces and places and all levels, to do their best. Like it is important for me, super important to create positive impact in the world, and specifically for me, that means to help purpose-driven leaders to unlock more of their potential so we together can create more positive impact in the world. That is my number one value. I also have four other core values: work-centrism, which is which means work isn't something I endure or have to do, it's something I get to do, it's an essential part of fulfilling life for me that I absolutely need in my life. Voice expressing my thinking, my creativity, my authenticity, being heard. That's why I'm doing this podcast, guys, for the eight years and I keep going. Your values are very strong, like things that will make any amount of commitment and discipline feels like no work at all. It's a voice, agency, the ability to steer my own ship, make my own decisions and schedule. That's why I'm not employed. I've never been, well, actually, I've been after finishing university for like six months. But the reason why I'm never employed, but work on contract with other people, collaborate, etc. But I'm like my own captain, is because agency and setting my own rules and boundaries and schedules and making my own decisions is so important to me. And then achievement, reaching milestones that mean something to me and show up in the world. I wanna like write best-selling books, I want to create a body of work, I wanna create some program that will help a lot more people on at scale to unlock more of their potential, right? Those things are important to me. And so when I sat down with the decision of saying no, it became so obvious. I had acted against the one value that matters most to me impact, positive impact, making a positive difference in the lives of ambitious people committed to changing the world. I said no to a room full of my people, and that stinks, and it still does. Regrets, right? That's a feeling of shoot. I should have said yes. But the regrets, guys, they're not there for rumination and beating ourselves up. Past is past, you'll never be able to make all the right choices. You kind of have to learn from you know the regrets as well. It's data, those regrets and bad decisions when we sit down to learn from them. It's data. A message from your values, delivered late, but still in time to build your better, more aligned, and fulfilling

Turn Regret Into Better Trade-Offs

SPEAKER_00 9:12

future. Right, so what am I doing differently next time? Learning from this experience. Slowing down. Whenever an opportunity lands in my lap, I'm not gonna be rushing through a decision. Instead, I'm gonna schedule a little bit of quiet time, preferably in the morning. Quiet moment, or at least, you know, few breaths, going to the bathroom if it's in the middle of the day and having my list of values. That's what I also realized. I need to like laminate those values and I don't know, tattoo it on my forehead or put somewhere very close to me, maybe in my wallet. Sitting down with my values and making a thoughtful trade-off, not perfect one, because there were things on my calendar as well on that day at that time, but as I'm reflecting back, not as important, not as like unchangeable. So trade-offs are always there, and it's not about choosing the perfect solution. There is never one in most complex decisions, it's choosing the one that feels the most right. Regrets, guys, can be a remarkable teacher. And are you listening to yours? So the takeaway from this podcast episode A, regrets are there, it's a legitimate feeling that is there to teach you something. More often than

Key Takeaways And Next Steps

SPEAKER_00 10:35

not, it teaches you that you just did something that was not aligned with your values, and you need to figure out how to make better decisions in similar situations moving forward. And point number two, you kind of have to know your values, you have to understand yourself what drives you in this life to avoid more future regrets. And at the end of your life, when you're 80 and 90, looking back at your life, saying, Hey, it was not a perfect life, but it was a good one, and I regret absolutely nothing. Well, at least not as much, and you learn from all of your regrets, right? So, the takeaway from this, if you have recent regrets that you're still feeling bitterness of, sit down with your weekly reflection or just with reflection with a piece of paper and ask yourself, what are these regrets trying to tell me? What value of values did I just act against? And the second one, uh, you can use the link in the show notes to take your values assessment, uh, values breach assessment, or take any other assessment. Understanding yourself will help you to prevent regrets moving forward. But of course, you also need to slow down and make sure that you align your complex, important decisions with trade-offs, the imperfect ones, where there is no perfect solution, but you know, the one that is more that feels more, right? So get to know your values and keep them top of mind. A lot of people would say, I know my values, and then I ask them, like, what are they? What do they mean to you day to day? And that's where people blank. Even I like making that decision after that, I realized hey, I kind of know my values, but I haven't checked in with them in a while. And so that was a signal to check in with those values and create some list that I can carry in my volley. So I always have a tool to make better decisions, which is built around my values, not you know, haptic schedules and the first thing that comes to mind. So that is it. Get to know yourself through your values, and if you have recent regrets, sit down with those regrets and ask yourself what are these regrets are trying to tell me to make future decisions that are more fulfilling and more aligned and feel more right. Again, the link for values assessment is in the show notes. If you have any questions or would like me to help you to walk through a decision, please do. I do executive coaching sessions for this specific person, purpose with many leaders, entrepreneurs, business owners who need to sort of reflect back and think through better, more complex decisions. The link to this session is in the show notes as well. And what else? Till next time, get to know your values. Please share this podcast episode with one person who is going through a lot of decision making these days and just like not sure what's the best choice. Share with them this podcast episode, it might be very helpful to them. And till next time, guys, keep leaning into your regrets to learn how to make better decisions moving forward. And till next time, keep growing.