Heartsing Podcast | Future Self | Meditation | Weight Loss by Namaslayer

Ep #26: Impossible Weight Loss Goals

April 30, 2021 Slayer
Heartsing Podcast | Future Self | Meditation | Weight Loss by Namaslayer
Ep #26: Impossible Weight Loss Goals
Show Notes Transcript

Slayer realizes she is almost to her impossible weight loss goal she set over 110 pounds ago. She shares how  she created this result and what is required to get to the space of believing. She fills us in on a new goal technique she tested in Quarter one of 2021 that pushed her 21 pounds closer to goal She shares these tips and tricks that will help us realize any big, impossible seeming goal. Leave wanting to dream bigger than you ever have before!

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Do you know that there is something magical inside of you, but you don't know how to uncover it. The Heartsing podcast is dedicated to just that helping you put yourself first and figure out what lights you up. I'm your host, Addy B AKA Slayer of Namaslayer. And through my journey of losing nearly a hundred pounds, uncovering the magic of my soul and building the life of my dreams.

I'm leaving no stone unturned in the process of self discovery, and I'm here to share it all with you. So let's get started. Welcome to episode 26 of the Heartsing podcast. I'm Addie B a K Slayer of Namaslayer. And today we are going to talk about impossible goals and specifically related to weight loss, but really, of course it applies to all goals and dreaming,

big and general. We will get into believing what you might think is impossible for you, failing and fear. And what I did in quarter one of this year of 2021, that I also have some other people testing in the sisterhood that really helped me surpass my Q1 goal and start the weight loss. It kicked it up in gear again. So we'll get to all of that.

In this episode, this past week, I had this realization that I was like, oh my gosh, I'm only 22 pounds away from my impossible goal of 1 62 that I had set, who knows how long ago the idea of picking this impossible goal came as I listened to a podcast, I think it was from a Brooke Castillo of the life coach school about making impossible goals and people not setting their goal weights because they are afraid that we don't believe we can get there.

We don't think we can get to a higher one number much less, really one in our healthy weight range. And I was one of those people for sure, during my 35 years as a frequent weight watcher watcher member, any anyone else out there maybe I've seen you at a meeting or what was my old online handle back in the messenger board days. Anyone remember that?

Anyhow, I set many goal weights at first. I picked them in the healthy weight range on the chart. And as the years progressed, the number just got higher and higher and people would help me justify this too. There's no way you can weigh that. Addie look how tall you are and all that muscle, or you don't want to waste away to nothing,

or don't get too skinny. And I'm getting these comments now and you guys, I am still overweight barely, but I'm still over that high overweight rate weight range. And I'm sharing all of this because it's a mindset. And why do we do this? You know, to ourselves in other people to be clear, the top of my weight range is 1 62.

Sometimes you'll see this up to 1 69 and then overweight starts. So it's not like I have this impossible way too skinny goal. Okay. So it's no means unhealthy. And I highly doubt at almost 50, I'm going to get some, a mental disorder around food. So everyone can just relax about me getting too skinny. Okay. For crying out loud.

All right. Moving on from that. So how about we celebrate me nearing the impossible showing what is possible to other people that might just be like, I was in my ball of misery figuratively or literally either way and how yeah. I'll support your crazy impossible, healthy ass goals too slight rant. I know, but I'm already tired of hearing. Don't get too skinny,

but you can tell me I am skinny all day long. That is never getting old. So I also, you know, just like, are you kidding me? All right back to you and your impossible goal, listen, chances are, you're probably listening to me because of weight or maybe some body issues or things like that, that we found each other.

And probably some spirituality hopefully thrown in there too. You want to meditate. Awesome. Because it is all part of how we get to becoming who we are here to be you guys with the weight battles too. Maybe you've had these thoughts as well. And you might be thinking right now, I would just kill to be under 200. That was me a couple of years ago.

For sure. When I was 300 pounds, 200 seemed like a distant, impossible dream. When I set this goal, I remember thinking I can't even get under 200 ever. What business do I have thinking I could be 1 62? How do you think those thoughts were making me feel? I'm sure discouraged, depressed, sad, lots of negative emotions. And as we know,

all our thoughts lead to those feelings that make us act, which for me, would result in eating more food, drinking wine, anything to not feel those emotions. So of course I could never get under 200 because that was always making myself feel that way. With those thoughts, see that those are the ones we need to dig up. The ones that are buried in there,

that you are allowing yourself to feel from. It's exactly why I made myself pick the number and start writing it and start doing the work around it. So I could see all of these limiting beliefs about myself that I had. You know, I had all of these things. You guys genetically, something's wrong with me? I'm from a big family. I'm just always going to be big.

I failed a million times before. I mean, what could make me think I could do it now? I've always been overweight. There's a million of these that I have put a scientist hat on and had a look at and finally dispel them for the lies they are. So I could get to the point where I believed in me. If you're on this weight loss journey with me,

what are your thoughts about your goal? Do you think it's possible, these thoughts matter? And if you're at your goal, are you someone that's telling yourself it's so difficult to be there? That of course you're going to regain all the way, these thoughts have you become her? And if not, let's take a look at them and not only do our thoughts lead to those actions,

but we attract what we want. So we need to be clear. Another thing I see, we like to say it, and this was I'm sure I have said this too. It's not about the weight. I just want to be healthy. Exactly. Right. You do see, it means the same thing, but we say this one all the time in the weight loss world,

it's not about the weight. I just want to be healthy. And like, I'm not judging. I didn't want if that's, if that's your line, because I know I've said it. So what is it we're really saying when we say it's not about the weight, because we can agree that losing weight helps our health for the normal person. It's probably one of our biggest reflections of our physical health.

So what are these lies? We tell ourselves and why I decided I wanted to be the person that learned to believe in my big dreams, no matter what, and find all of these lies. And I'm still doing this obviously to this moment and working on it with other things in my life. Like we talked about abundance. In the last episode, I have all of these limiting beliefs wrapped around that around money and things like that.

But over the years, I had also taken this and looked at things that I thought were true about how I had to live and exist in the world, such as choosing to go to my job or choosing to create a life I wanted to live in that these were all products of my thoughts and the power in seeing what I was telling myself I had to do.

And what I really actually did have to do that was life-changing. That is how I ended up in the adventure. R V, doing my soul's calling. All of these things are interrelated. The skills of learning from achieving one goal definitely translate to other goals that we think are impossible. When I started to see evidence, I started to look for other people in the world that have done this thing that I feel is impossible,

this weight loss. And I could see people out there doing it. And I was to keep writing and talking about this 1 62 until I figured it out too. I was going to dare to dream. And I started to build my future self of course, and build up Slayer, this alter ego, future self version of me who already was. And I would ask her for advice along the way.

And do you guys like how I'm talking about the 1 62, like it's already done? Cause it is, I I'm already there in my hat. It's it's done. I just kept dreaming and I made 1 62, my gym locker combo. I ride it every single day I still do is I write my goals and don't miss this part of the goal process.

People that write their goals are 42% more likely to achieve them. The act of writing them down, we write them daily in the MEfirst group. The same thing with weigh weighing daily people that weigh daily are 33% more likely to lose weight and keep it off. Why is that? I haven't looked up exactly why they say my theory is that eventually it just takes the drama out of the scale and it is what it is.

It's data, it's a health meter feedback. All of this is data. All of the numbers, data, data, data, put the scientist hat on and let's figure out why the data means so much to you or to me, all of us that are afraid to wear ourselves because of these stories in our mind of what that number means, understand that this is where some of the greatest work waits for you.

If you're one of those people right now, because you uncover all of those lies, you're telling yourself, and you realize they're just that they're non-truths about who you are. They have nothing to do with it. It's a number last year I switched my primary goal and from the number. Okay. So it did impact my focus on that weight loss, for sure.

And this is why going all in is so key. And I don't regret it because I needed that shift. And it really compelled me into my spiritual journey. But I tell you this because I saw my brain start to be like, see, you're out there leading all of these people and you can't even lose weight yourself. And I would see that thought,

I'd be like, oh no Slayer, no food is fuel. Keep seeking Slayer, keep seeking. It was my mantra on this path. And I just knew that I had not found my solution yet, but that I finally was starting to believe it was possible. Maybe didn't think it was possible for me yet, but I knew it was possible for other people.

I could see other people doing this there's proof that we could not overeat, that we could sit at a table and not be psycho about the food on it, or at least bothered it. So if you can't yet believe it yourself, find someone you can be like, oh, she can do it. I can do that. Like, I'm gonna figure it out until I become that.

Start building this alter ego for yourself. What things does she do? What habits does she have start to make that impossible into actions. And we need to get specific about what we want this to look like. Can you see the future? Even if it's modeling after someone else, because you just can't even imagine, you guys know that's where Slayer came from me creating this fictional bad-ass version of myself to draw inspiration from.

And now I am. Yeah, I guess I did just call myself a bad-ass welcome to the Heartsing podcast. Everybody you guys, I finally have a big I've become food is fuel moment to share with you. Although I feel like that might've happened in the fasting episode too, but this happened a few weeks ago. I met someone out at a restaurant and they ordered a bunch of food.

True. It was food. I don't eat anymore anyway, but it still could have bothered me at some point along my journey, right? Like fried chicken wings and a big salad with fried food on top. I literally didn't even think about the food. And then finally, the other person, like I think was feeling a little uncomfortable and kept asking me about it.

And I was like, oh, look, I really don't want any, and it doesn't have anything to do with like my diet or how I'm eating. I just didn't want any, I would order something if I wanted it. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm finally that person, I'm almost there. You guys, we can all be there.

I'm no unicorn. The young John. I mentioned this in that success stories episode, I was talking about a few episodes that go that looking at my progress sometimes had become like, well, she's special. I, you know, how can I think I can do this? We're calling this the unicorn theory. It's probably out there some way, but let's pretend we coined it here in the sisterhood.

So, and first of all, how funny is that? That I'm a unicorn whew, 48 years and our unicorn status. And to be clear, I'm still slightly overweight, but 48 years of seeking this goal, you guys, I've never in my life not been overweight. If I was, I don't have a record of it. Like maybe during high school period,

or I could look back at some old photos in and out, but it was, it's always been a battle. It's never not consumed some part of my part of my life. And now I sat at a table and even think about the food and watch someone pig out on some fried food. And I w I didn't care. It is possible. I'm telling you it's possible because this was crazy to me even like a year ago.

So what stops us from figuring out what's possible for us? Let's say you guys are like, all right, Slayer, I get it. You're not a unicorn. I can do it too. What do I need to know? First up, you guys, you got to embrace the AFS. And I don't mean the F-word here. Oh, you can embrace that all you want.

If you, if you want to throw the F-bomb around, have at it. My sisters, we are talking though about the other fairs that other apps, fear and failure, and get ready to embrace both because it's a path that absolutely requires facing both of them, grabbing their hands and bringing them along for the ride. And don't shut this off because you don't want to talk about fear and failure.

This is where the good stuff is. Look you guys. I failed all last year. I failed the entire year. Before that I failed my plan twice this week, and probably 70% of the time this year, I'm really working on this, by the way, I want to build that trust with myself to not fail my plans and show up. But I fail.

I sack goals, I make plans. And then inevitably, I will fail them. And I uncover gold in the process and I will keep setting bigger and bigger goals. And I'll feel some more because now I'm like bring on the failure because this is how I really get to that big, impossible goal. I just get really bold and I really fail spectacularly really good at failing you guys over a hundred pounds.

What's your secret. I'm a great failure. Seriously coin it. It is the key. So how are you failing? Are you moving forward as you fail? Or are you too afraid to even try? This is other big F-word right. Fear because there's not enough. Biologically, our bodies want us to stay in fear. So we feel discomfort. And as we step into it,

right, because our brain wants us to stay in the cave at once. All the big rewards from the food and the wine and the Netflix. So things have comfortable. It's uncomfortable feeling emotions and not giving your brain, those things that's trained to have. So on top of this, we've also been trained to live in fear. We're taught in school to work hard,

get good grades, follow this path, or that path to happiness, right? They have that path for us. Here's what you'll be good at. You do this failures unacceptable. And now we all have these expectations. We put on ourselves to not that failure is for learning, but it's unacceptable so much. So we don't even want to try for fuel or a failure perfectionism.

So course you don't want to fail, but could you look forward to failing? Think about that for a minute. Could you look forward to it? Because she could, because that's just a feeling right? Looking forward to something anticipation, excitement. Like if you started to think, Hey, the more failures I get, the closer I am going to get to that goal.

Each time I learned something, I am getting closer to that impossible dream. Everything just comes from a thoughts and be like, rack them up, baby. Be like, here's my big ass impossible goal. And I'm going to get up no matter what, how many times it takes, I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna learn. I'm gonna try again. And I'm going to fail all the way to this goal.

You just have to keep trying different things and getting up, looking at setting your goals, whether it's weight, loss related, financial love, whatever. If you had the good old genie lamp around and you got that wish, what would that weight number be? What would the house look like? What would your relationship look like? Do it without judgment,

without a lens restricted by fear-based training. By our limitations, our limiting beliefs by what has been created from our experience from the environment we've been in, your only limitation is what you're willing to allow yourself to dream. So start, wonder what else is possible. Or you could be living Groundhog's day. Like I was when I was in my ball and misery just over and over,

continuing to not listen to the voice and side. What I'll tell you is this your path to uncovering what is inside can be done through the process of achieving any goal. It's up to you to decide what goal you want to go all in on. What would it be? If you didn't have any of these limiting beliefs in your mind, you just knew you would get there because all you have to do is fail your way there and how you can do that.

Well, what would that be like? What if you became a professional? Failer like me. I told the sister hood the other day that too, I'm like, you know what? I'm really good at you guys. And they're like, what? I'm like failing. I am so good at it. The rule is, as soon as you look to your past,

for reasons of why you can't achieve a goal, you have to shut it down. That's not allowed. So when you see your brain go there and it will be like, oh Audi, you can't lose weight. You've never been at your goal way before. So pick something else. You just can't do that. When you see that happen, and this is the goal and your soul,

you know, you want that you've always wanted and you, you can even feel you letting you down, shut it down. That's just fear of the unknown. You just don't know how to do it yet, but you're going to hide into becoming in spite of your past and fact, the more impossible your goal seems probably the better has one shorty. No,

it's impossible because your past tells you so right. You can just move on from that. And then you can move on to the what if, what if you could do it? What would it look like? And you continue to open your mind to what might be possible for you. Practice dreaming big and creating a vision, create skills around that. It will take practice.

If you haven't allowed yourself to dream for a while, step into the fear of the unknown and answer the tough questions. Really listen to your gut inside. What is she telling you to pursue? Where are those breadcrumbs? Can you feel the energy pick a goal? You might feel might be a bit impossible for you and get used to failure. Start looking at failure as a direction of just needing to go another way or look at the goal in a different way.

All of great, your great successes will come from failing. If you don't put yourself out there and try to fail and you will fail, or you need to dream bigger, you will fail. You will keep doing the same thing you're doing now, if you don't. So here's the thing. You want something different than you have. Now. This is why we're seeking and working to continue to improve ourselves.

We want to learn and grow and create our magic in the world. And yet we have to deal with our brains that are programmed to keep us safe, biologically, and then everything that was put into them growing up. So those limiting beliefs that we come up against, you know, we're gonna need to try new foods or protocols that might not work,

or you'll miss a workout or a deadline. But what you make that mean is going to be everything. It's all about how you're going to choose to think about it and how you can get up and learn from it and still move forward. And that is where the magic is that you become the person that gets up over and over. One of my favorite authors Paulo Coelho wrote,

there is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve fear of failure. We are going to take that fear, learn to see it coming and welcome it. So now I want to share a little something cool that I tested out this year. That just really helped me nail my Q1 goals. Three cap really quick, firstly, so you are going to dream big and then dream bigger,

get impossible with it. Try to really not get caught up in the how it's, where so much of that fear comes from where we can get paralyzed by the how of that goal. That seems overwhelming after you dream and you work on stepping into this fear and becoming the best failer on the planet, you just cannot be like, I am going to be a great failure.

And then we're going to take this into small daily action. And in the MEfirst guy, we use 1% action items, daily, one little thing that will help you move toward your goal. So let's say you have over a hundred pounds to lose. What we do is work on this vision of your future self. You're going to work on that Slayer.

What does she look like? What does she do? Really build that feeling and emotion around this future. You want to create for yourself as impossible as it may seem, dream. And then we're gonna release that dream. The vision with this positive emotion to the universe. We do this before practice and primordial sound meditation, Deepak Chopra's shares this in the seven spiritual laws of success.

And it's the law of intention. We allow the universe to deliver this outcome. So we plant the big desire seeds, and we focus our attention in the moment on things we take action on. Now we release those, those future visions, those dreams, those things. We want our heart desires and we allow the universe to deliver and we watch the bread come crumbs appear,

and we try new things that come in our past. We learn the lessons and the failures that are gonna come up. So with the nugget that came at me at the end of the year, that really helped me kill those Q one goals. This happened when I was rereading John book finished for an episode on this podcast and I kind of skimmed over it the first time.

Cause I was like, oh, that's not gonna work. Right? So I implemented it, my self and the first quarter of this year, cause I was skeptical. And I thought, you know, I'm going to try this because he's so spot on about everything else. And he talks about the psychological power of cutting your goals in half and how success rates were so much higher in his groups with everybody that did this.

So for example, instead of two pounds a week business, which is what those of us that have been professional weight losers, the rest of our life, that's the standard, right? Two pounds a week is that healthy? You stay at two pounds. So, you know, the thought is, man, I'm doing this for the long game, right?

It's who we're becoming, let's do a pound a week. And at the end of the year, I've lost 52 pounds with it's so easy. Amazing because we're so used to thinking like two pounds a week. So, you know, it was crazy to watch my brain because I had 46 pounds to goal at that time. And I was going to work to lose the standard two pounds a week.

Then it would have only taken me 24 weeks. So when I took it and looked at the rest of the year, it was like less than a pound a week. And I was like, oh, well that can't do that. It's too easy. It was crazy to see my brain not want to do it because it was too easy. And it wanted me to revise the goal.

My brain did, like if I had a big weight loss week and wanted me to go revise that goal and I had to really rustle with myself to keep the end goal the same. And I stayed the course I revised at the end of the month because I was so far ahead. I wanted it to stay motivating, but I didn't allow myself to adjust it weekly.

Like I really was tempted to, after that, after my whole weight loss mindset was like, oh, I can lose a pound in half a day. That's nothing, but I can also gain four in a day. So there's that. So when the quarter was said and done, you guys, I have lost 21 pounds instead of the 12 pound goal I had set now had that goal banned 24 pounds.

What would that mind shift at bat? I probably would have been saying, oh, I saw I was going to lose 24 pounds, but I only lost 21. Of course we could just do the mind, work around that and change our thoughts and emotions about it. But what if we took those laws of behavioral change for habits and applied it to weight loss goals,

make it obvious, easy, attractive, and rewarding. Boom works for goals too. It doesn't mean I changed my big dream goal. Right? You keep that big dream planted out there. It's in the field of infinite possibilities. You allow it to be out there while you do your little 1% action items while you get up over and over and you find all of these things you're going to fail at.

You're going to just keep trying them. You're going to be excited to try them because you know, every new little thing you try, it's going to be bringing you closer to that goal. You will find your path when you are seeking something you desire and understanding that you will also have that path full of joy and self discovery. It's summary. As we take our time and become this new version of us,

we are in this for the long game of true transformation and we unlock that magic inside and that's when it all happens. And it truly that statement of, it's not about the weight as a whole new meaning, and that's all I've got for this week. You guys, so I want you to go out there and dream big dream impossible and look forward to failing being like,

heck yeah, let's rack them up, bring it on because that is my path toward getting that thing that I think is impossible. But I am going to start to believe I'm going to figure out how to believe in that thing that I want, whatever it might be. And I'm going to get up over and over again until I get it. So until next week,

my, which is a religious play around.