Slayer bares it all in this episode--literally naked from the pool and encourages us to find the freedom to do the same and create adventure while seeking our inner magic. Somehow Slayer managed to also work in a metaphor to orgasms in with a yogic topic meaning to surrender to your Highest Self. Of course, this is why we love Slayer. It's nothing if not real, and gives us tools to live more intentionally as we head into change while talking about weight loss, religion, spirituality and becoming butterflies.
Mentioned in this episode:
To Reference more on Patanjali and the Yoga Sutras:
The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (Sacred Teachings)
Yogic Path Card deck by Sahara Rose
AddieBeall.com
Get Social with Me!
Facebook Namaslayer (LIVE weigh in Sundays at 7 AM Mountain / 9 Eastern)
YouTube Addie Beall @addiebeall2574
Instagram @addiebeall_namaslayer
Slayer bares it all in this episode--literally naked from the pool and encourages us to find the freedom to do the same and create adventure while seeking our inner magic. Somehow Slayer managed to also work in a metaphor to orgasms in with a yogic topic meaning to surrender to your Highest Self. Of course, this is why we love Slayer. It's nothing if not real, and gives us tools to live more intentionally as we head into change while talking about weight loss, religion, spirituality and becoming butterflies.
Mentioned in this episode:
To Reference more on Patanjali and the Yoga Sutras:
The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali (Sacred Teachings)
Yogic Path Card deck by Sahara Rose
AddieBeall.com
Get Social with Me!
Facebook Namaslayer (LIVE weigh in Sundays at 7 AM Mountain / 9 Eastern)
YouTube Addie Beall @addiebeall2574
Instagram @addiebeall_namaslayer
Welcome to the Heartsing Podcast you badass amazing soul! Im Addie B, AKA Slayer of Namaslayer and I’m so happy to be in your ear today! We are going to chat about transformation and specifically about having a Midlife Metamorphosis and God.
Yeah, why not? Sounds like fun, eh?
Well, I am going to MAKE it fun if it kills me. It’s one of my core values, you know. Of which there are five: Fun, Adventure, Love, Inspire and Authentic. These guide me and I hope it translates through my message! What are your core values? I would love to hear yours!
Today I am sitting here pool side at an Airbnb doing my AM habit stack and now writing this podcast while my two children are snuggled inside still sleeping away.
My heart is full at that thought.
I’m conscious of enjoying every second with them I can squeeze out of this week and yet also filling my soul first so I can be fully LIT and engaged when we are together.
This means getting up and doing my magic AM habit stack, even when I don’t feel like it.
Starting the slow stretch of Yoga as my limbs creak and moan—well, maybe that’s me moaning but it feels so good then I slip into meditating before I have time to work my brain up into even more of a tizzy. Heh. Then I write and plan and do a lot of self-reflection—all of this makes my heart sing.
You know what else does?
Sharing these concepts with you this week and I have to be honest-I really struggled with this topic. If you have been following along—and if you haven’t, don’t worry, you can listen here and go jump in wherever in the podcast.
I have been breaking down the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali and how they have related to my transformation—and not just losing over 110 pounds, but changing who I AM—with my new habits I’ve created and developing a greater knowledge base of understanding about my body and mind, but also the understanding of who I TRULY am has been what has made it all possible.
Today’s podcast isn’t about Yoga on a mat or in a studio, which we will call the Asana practice and we will discuss that in the next episode,
Rather, this is about the joining of our body, mind and soul as we are on this path of self-discovery.
I am in the process of sharing with you all how you are practicing yoga now in ways you don’t even know and increasing our awareness of this leads us to true transformation and I had this last of the five Niyamas— a Niyama being guidelines for self-discovery
This Niyama I had scheduled is known as Ishvara and yet I’ve wanted talk about a Midlife Metamorphosis, and I was feeling really distracted writing!
Well, it turns out it was because I wasn’t practicing Ishvara Pranidhana, ha! The irony, right?
It was clear yesterday when I asked my self reflection question of “How can I serve” and I drew the Kriya card—upside down.
Now, if you are new to using card of any type there is usually a right side up meaning and a “reverse” meaning if you pull it the other way. I use a Yogic Path deck by Sahara Rose which I got originally to learn Sanskrit as I was going through school at the Chopra Center for meditation, but then I realized I loved pulling one each day for the self-reflection, and we have been doing this in the sisterhood and its now part of the MEFirst Guide Planner I created—not only is it insightful, but it’s FUN!
Everyone has a different deck too—there are a bunch you can choose from; you can even just get a deck of positive affirmations or something like that.
Okay—that was a squirrel, but I love this process!
So, I pulled the Kriya card, which is a first for me. I haven’t seen this card yet so I didn’t know what it meant. I was already excited—too…I’m really going to learn something here, whether it sings to me in the moment or not (and they usually do)
Kriya is a spirituality card which means effortless flow.
I have been writing in my pages about how everything just feels so hard right now. Like a slug in mud and then I get up a little and become a turtle.
It’s like I’m fighting myself. I’m not allowing the flow, the creation that comes from within. I’m fighting it.
You know why I wanted to talk about Midlife Metamorphosis, because I made a fun post about it and it was light and FUN!
Well, my soul told me…YES! That! Don’t forget your core values. You must keep having fun and your adventures. You are in metamorphosis and as you lead you must remember to also release and LET GO and you will be once again in the FLOW.
Heh, I’m a poet and I know it. YOU are not the one really doing all of this.
And, this brings us to Ishvara Pranidhana
Pranidhana in Sanskrit translates Ans surrender and
Ishvara can be translated as higher source
Higher Source—whatever you may want to call it—some refer to this as God, the Universe, your Highest Self, Life Force energy.
Under whatever construct you want to say it.
You may be like I was and get hung up on the “God” word because through our society in many ways and some religions we are taught that this is a being outside of us, and even one that punishes.
Let’s be clear that this “God” you ARE.
This is the I AM. We are creation—creation is us. This is pure light and love. This is not something separate from us. The divine is present in each of us—this peace, this light that is in every thing in your Universe.
Surrendering to this light inside of you—this is the power of true transformation, when we start to listen to what is right inside and release our control.
And, for god’s sake—have some fun and create some adventure—stop taking it so seriously.
As my meditation teach Roger Gabriel likes to remind us—remember Enlightenment means to lighten up!
And, of course we transform also through building healthy habits, mind work tools and such, but as we get healthier, this is inevitable—the deeper journey within, and perhaps as we age as well.
If you have not yet had this realization, beware it is coming for you because you are listening to this—you were called to be here for whatever reason, just like I have been called to listen and type it.
By the way—I’m now naked in the pool typing this because it was too hot, and it’s early, and why bother with a suit?
Ha! How fun is this? Happy you are here with me, baring it all as it is.
See, I told you this would be FUN!
When was the last time you went skinny dipping? If it’s been too long, get it on your everyday adventure list! Talk about liberating!!!
Hahaha…okay, back to the story!
There was a time when I resisted this part of my journey because I didn’t want to be viewed as religious zealot. I had no idea that religion and spirituality did not co-exist. I didn’t really know what spirituality was, it turns out.
You don’t have to go to a church, bow to a deity or do anything to realize this God inside.
However, I would hear the word God and run—I wouldn’t even listen. I couldn’t say God for a long time—it’s getting easier, but somehow there is still this outside image attached to it sometimes.
Intellectually I had learned that I was one with God, that I am here to glorify God, that I am worthy and wonderful just as I am because I am God.
I grew up in this language of love…I had the knowledge, but not the experience. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like to just take what people tell me as truth. I like to see, experience, and explore for myself. I don’t want to be a sheep!
My experience of the Universe, of this KNOWING came through meditation, which of course is why I’m so passionate about meditation and helping others realize that they have this right inside too.
That magical light of awareness—that is just waiting for us to listen.
This listening, and allowing that inner guidance, this is the surrender.
And this is where many of us struggle, surrendering. I don’t know about you, but I always looked at surrender as weakness.
That I needed to be in control, that it is I Addie that has to make sure everything is okay.
Where, as when I surrender to the divine inside—to that inner voice, when I get to that stillness and listen to my inner guidance system— which was a process of not only the stillness, but learning to feel emotions, to experience life as the observer, and recognizing when I’m not.
This journey for me was through my weight loss quest--through not shoving a bunch of food and wine in my face and avoiding my magic it all the time.
What if that’s what whatever you are Over-doing is keeping you from?
What if it’s just in stopping that habit that you uncover this “something more” you know exists?
In many ways it would have been easier to continue on that path of not asking—and to keep seeking outside of ourselves for solutions.
Hello new diet after new diet.
The diet doesn’t matter.
Do you know how many times I have changed how I eat on this path? And, that is what a diet it. A way of eating.
So, what is it?
How can this be YOUR time you ask?
This is where we decide—and at this time in midlife—when we are at a crossroads is a perfect time to keep asking.
We feel different—something calling us. Maybe we are finally having time to breathe and realize we haven’t been dreaming for ourselves, growing or creating.
We won’t even see this though—we may just be in a ball of misery.
We think we can’t lose weight because of menopause and because we are older. And our bodies hurt and we can’t burn it like we used to. And, of course because we have never done it before so why would it happen now?
Come on, you know you have said some of these too, or thought them, or read them somewhere.
We can decide that this quest is worth it all no matter what and seek regardless of all of those BS thoughts we have floating around.
We need to start believing it’s possible.
Of course, we don’t have to get to that ball of misery for this process to start, and I hope something in this podcast inspires you wherever you are on your path, to seek surrendering to who you already are even a little more.
As I was thinking about our midlife metamorphosis I thought about the process of the butterfly, as of course may transformations be related too, and I was like, how does this apply to Ishvara Pranidhana?
What am I not hearing and why am I stymied on the keyboard??!!
Then it hit me—it’s the SAME topic slayer!
Here’s the deal—So the process of a caterpillar becoming—
It goes from an egg to a caterpillar, into the cocoon and Boom! Butterfly!
Ha! Not so easy though, right?
During that caterpillar stage it is eating and growing, and then when it can grow no longer it creates its cocoon so it can transform.
Then it goes through the chrysalis process and becomes the butterfly in the cocoon.
So here we are…. A caterpillar going through life learning and growing, and at some point, we stop, go build a cocoon and come out a beautiful butterfly.
I would like to offer our midlife metamorphosis is like this we head into the cocoon for the chrysalis process and are working in there to create the next version of ourselves—and energy a butterfly.
But before we even emerge, the layer around the outside gets lighter and lighter, just like the cocoon around the butterfly gets clearer and clearer. We can see more and more of the light as we allow this process to unfold.
As we surrender more and more of our ego identity.
As we start to let go of our attachment to what KIND of butterfly we are, but how glorious it is to become and experience being any butterfly at all.
Now, what about the caterpillars that don’t make it to the cocoon phase? What happens to them I wondered?
So, I asked the internet of course—
Well, they continue to eat (imagine that) ha!
They will stop at some point though.
Either when there is no more food, or they can’t grow any more.
And then they die from dehydration usually.
Aha! I thought! Just like us—this was me. I was DYING because I wasn’t growing any longer. I didn’t have big dreams really, I had an inner critic that shoved them down and gave me all the reasons they weren’t possible—why I couldn’t lose weight, or why I couldn’t start my own business, or why I couldn’t be a mom across an ocean—
All of those voices that were in there—they could have stopped me from cocooning!!!
OMG!
And you know what—many people in this experience won’t become their butterflies.
My Dad didn’t get a chance. He stopped growing, but he kept eating, unlike the caterpillar, he didn’t stop so he didn’t die from dehydration like the caterpillar, but rather a heart stressed from severe obesity.
You will become your butterfly. You are already in process, as am I. I will still die, but I’m sure going to try to do it on terms guided by my inner light—and hopefully as I’m closer to this enlightenment business!
Where are you in your process?
Are you in your cocoon yet? —does it feel a little miserable at times?
Ha! Welcome to the party sister!
Half the time I’m soaring high and the other half I feel like I’ve got sticky wings being weighed down by this gooey stuff in the cocoon, and I’m like pulling to get out.
And that’s where the voice comes in.
She tells me to just allow and accept. J
Just be still, listen and ALLOW me to guide you.
And the ME is ME, of course—it’s just not the ego ME (aka Addie, Slayer, Mom, Sister, Entrepreneur, Podcaster, Author) Not that ME
It’s the ME that is God.
There. I said it. I am God. You are God. We are all one.
So, as I struggle, as I have these past weeks and I get that calming voice—get to your mat—that is my metaphor for surrendering.
It means many things to me. One being I fall to my knees in child’s pose and just breath and listen, and the other is what I call the MEfirst process
These are the habits I have that consist of what work for me to keep me on this path. When I miss them or some of them, I am less shiny.
There are some that are universal for all of us I believe, but they will look different for different people.
While we are the same or soul software is different.
So, what does this devotion look like for me?
What are some things you can do to surrender to your highest self?
My process involves doing a light yoga stretch in the morning—sometimes I don’t even leave bed when I do this, I just get my limbs ready for meditation and awaken my body a little and start to focus my mind.
This is the physical Yoga called Asana which we will talk about in the next episode.
After this I do Primordial Sound Meditation—a silent mantra based technique that takes us inside ourselves. The mantra is a vehicle for the mind and helps us slip into stillness. It’s easy, peaceful, enjoyable.
Then I write at least 3 pages of stream of conscious writing. I am not allowed to censor myself in this writing—I just get out whatever is in there that needs to get out.
And then I plan—and my planning process, which is in the MEfirst Guide I created is full of opportunity each morning for me to deepen my surrender to my highest self.
I ask myself continually through setting my intention—for the day, each segment of my day—how do I want to show up.
Try this in your planner, or on a sheet of paper if you don’t have a plan (and, yes, planning is key—for those of you that want to be flexible and don’t like living by a plan—that was me too, I get it. I’m a FREE spirit! However, the plan is also direction, it’s living an intentional life and not allowing your wild horses—those 5 senses of yours run the show) And, guess what? I’m WAY freer now than when I didn’t have a plan. Okay—squirrel tangent about the plan, but I do have my passions, heh.
Back to living intentionally
On your timeline or paper, make a list of segments of your day—appointments but also blocks of time. Such as “MEfirst AM Habit Stack (that involves all of those things above) and then “write the podcast” and then “hang with my kids” Each of these is going to have a different intention.
Write an intention of how you want to show up for that moment.
For example:
For my AM MEFirst Habit Stack my intention is Gratitude today. I want to focus on being grateful for everything in the moment.
Writing the Podcast my intention is CREATION. This is a reminder to myself that I am the co-creator and that I can allow the flow during this period, to just allow what I am doing to come from within.
Hanging with my girls—my intention there is pure love and joy—heartsing! I want to show up radiant for each moment I am with them and harness that intention.
Do you want to know the Intention I write the most? Over and over? Is just a simple ALLOW. This is a reminder to myself to remember who I truly am and to stop trying to control the outcomes.
Really, I could write Ishvara Pranidhana here too, right? But, to be honest, I’ve typed it like 10 times and I’m still spelling it wrong, so allow it is.
By allowing it means to creating a podcast and to release attachment to it—this means to not hold on to –I wonder if they will like it? Those ego driven thoughts (yes, this is REALLY hard—I REALLY want you to like it, for it to sing to you. Yes, to inspire you, but is there ego in there, for sure!).
Does this mean I stop caring or try to do the best I can? No, in fact it means I get out of my own way and produce at a higher level because I am not restricted by outside influence or my own inner critic.
I’m in true FLOW when I release.
Does this make sense?
This has been one of the harder concepts for me to grasp and work through, and still is.
Learning to dream, and set goals and intentions, but then letting go seemed counterintuitive. But what if we were just taught to make it hard, and we are unlearning that?
What if when we are in flow. When we allow the creation and surrender to the call the vision takes care of itself?
This is indeed what happens, and yet we must stay vigilant.
Continue growing and working on this process of allowing that magic to shine.
How can you surrender and allow?
Think about what you are creating in your life.
Are you more invested in the creation more than the outcome itself?
Try the practice of setting your intentions, knowing how you will show up before hand and then letting go of the outcome, even as you have already seen it play out in your vision. The Universe always delivers what we want, the path can just look a little different.
As you do this, see yourself move toward shedding your ego self more and more.
I also look for inspiration each morning when I start meditation and ask the Soul
Questions “Who am I? What is my Purpose? What is my heart’s desire? And then also in the planner when I look for more insight, I will ask something like I did yesterday, “How can I serve?” and pull a card and then relate it to any InSite I gathered in writing or meditation.
Now listen you guys—
Do NOT cross your eyes in overwhelm. I realize my AM routine may seem like a lot.
You know what I started with?
Meditation. Twice a day. I started that in December of 2017 over 300 pounds and didn’t make a plan, and a half ass one at that until February of 2018, weighing in around 288 and then I did my first REAL 90 day process in April of that year.
Much longer than a butterfly, and my wings are still sticky.
Where are you in the process?
Are you growing? Learning? This is another way to start to allow that surrender to that magic inside.
That is why we are all here right?
We KNOW that there is more inside of us, but what?
My friends, it is this surrender that brings you to that space where you start to realize what it is—it is Who you truly are.
The Universe, God, Life Force Energy, your magic inside, you’re knowing.
That space in which fear does not exist, only love.
It’s from this space you can create whatever you want.
It’s only the fear that holds us back.
So, seek love and light—
You can do this is small ways daily.
Make some time for yourself to think about showing up intentionally. Start to create life from your source and from love.
Yes, sometimes we have to go through motions until we start to become, but the sooner we get in the cocoon, the sooner we can come out the other side.
The more time we spend thinking enjoying all we have now, about creating for the love of creating, the more we will fly.
I’m so grateful to have spent this time, naked in your ear. Bahahaha. Just kidding…especially if you are my family listening. Just ignore that.
Make sure whomever you are you make that appointment with yourself to skinny dip and bare it all. And allow yourself to be still and surrender to that magic that is right inside just waiting for you to listen.
Until next week, Go light it up my witches and bitches,
Slayer out!