Ep #45: The Hamster Wheel and Gay Hendrick's "The Big Leap"

Are you on the proverbial hamster wheel of life? Want to get out of the rat race, but just feel trapped? Slayer share in this episode how to do just that...right from where we are NOW. Leave this episode with some resources, tools and the mindset to start making small changes in your life now that can lead to living a life full of heartsing.

Mentioned in this episode:
Podcast Referenced: Elizabeth Gilbert Meets Julia Cameron - The Path to Higher Creativity
Gay Hendricks's Book (Amazon affiliate link):
The Big Leap: Conquer Your Hidden Fear and Take Life to the Next Level*
Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Namaslayer Facebook LIVE that started the Hamster Wheel Slayer rant

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Free Visioning Meditation (goes with Ep 160 Unlock Your Future: Create Vision for Midlife Transformation)
 
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Transcript

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The Hamster Wheel…are you on the proverbial hamster wheel of life? New day, same day, over and over again. 

Alarm goes off, get up, get ready, maybe you get everyone else ready, and then we move on to the next segment of the day where do more things and take care of more people maybe, get home, do whatever you need to unwind and ignore the building misery within you from this stagnation? Maybe you eat dinner, and then eat some more so you don’t feel the dull ache? Perhaps you pour a glass of wine or two because you just need to unwind…maybe you stay up to late binging Netflix or scrolling social media getting lost in other people’s lives because you aren’t living your own. 

Any of this ring a bell? 

Where are you on the wheel? 

Man, I was there in 2017, hard core and I didn’t think I could get off. I remember clearly this being such a source of my despair. This was IT? I had the job, the things and I was miserable…it must be I’m missing being skinny, or being in love….what was I missing? 

I ate myself into a deeper ball of misery as I continued to not listen to this voice within me that wanted so desperately her FREEDOM> 

Freedom of self. Freedom from my ego—all these identities. I had no idea then of course or that the hamster wheel isn’t a job, or a marriage, or another situation. 

These things aren’t the cage that houses the wheel. 

Think about this—picture a hamster running on a wheel inside a cage. He just keeps running, but going no where. Moving, but not getting anywhere, and even if he gets off the wheel, where is he going any way? He’s in a cage. 

It wasn’t the JOB that was my cage or the wheel. 

I can see this now, but I made it my cage. 

In my mind. 

Can you identify with this? What are you blaming in your life for your stagnation? You misery? 

Where does this really come from? 

This rat race as we say. This running endlessly on the hamster wheel, trapped anyway, but we keep moving ceaselessly. 

I had stopped dreaming for myself—I was running, doing all the things, but didn’t really think I could get out of this cage. This trap I was in to pay bills, support my family and lifestyle. How could I dare? I had stopped thinking anything was possible. 

I mean, look around, there is despair everywhere. I was so fortunate to have what I did…I should just be grateful for what I had and shut up. Stop your belly aching…you’ve got it so good. This is just how it is. How it’s supposed to be.

I didn’t speak about it. I put my face on with the world. 

 I ate and drank so I could exist in this non-truth that I had created for myself. 

So that I could tolerate being a hamster in a cage, trapped on the wheel that felt like I could never get off. 

Today we are going to talk about getting off this wheel—right where you are at. It’s not your job, the marriage, the kids and house, whatever is having you feel trapped, that is not truth. 

The truth is, we create this all…with our minds, and until you allow your mind to expand beyond what you currently believe, you will stay on that wheel. 

Until your soul humbles you into a ball of misery to listen OR ELSE, or you don’t listen and you eat and drink yourself to death, like Big Mike, my dad. 

A little squirrel as we get started…

Many of you know I like to consult my spirit guides—this is a hoot for me. They are so fun! And, of course it’s reflecting back at me what I already know because they are MY guides and I always have access, but sometimes I don’t listen or I miss signs, or I just want confirmation that I’m not nuts. 

Somehow when I hear someone else say what is in my head or that aligns with signs I’ve been seeing, it’s just another sign that YAS, you are on the right path. 

Like the number 12. I told Renee that this number kept coming up in our last session. As I was writing this I was thinking of all the times and then I wrote the Book date the guides gave me the first time was 10.12.21. At 2 pm mind you. That’s a lot of 1s and 2s right? These numbers spiritually are another sign you are on the right path. 

It’s like coaching…with some Woo, and it’s friggin FUN! It’s fun to wonder about all the magic we don’t know about and start to look about it. 

I ask you…what is NOT fun about that?

The first time my friend BABS had gifted me with a session to get in touch with my guides, I didn’t know what to expect. I was open because at this point I had already experienced through my meditation practice and soul searching things that just can’t be explained, but I was nervous and it felt hokey…until I was there and I can’t explain the energy, connection and synchronicities

The feelings, synchronicities…just magical things all around me as I was awakening to my true Self. Swarms of butterflies, hummingbirds when I need a sign, and after my mother’s death in particular, coyotes walking near me on mountains, energy—energy within me that I know understand more and more that this is my light within. 

It’s the POWER of love. Of living in love. Being open to receiving joy all day long.

This feeling I have shoved down as it was uncomfortable at first. 

So, I’m in this first session with an intuitive coach and my spirit guides in that first session—I showed up so sure that it was time to leave my job, time for me to just leap, because my friends, I have proven over and over again in my life I can leap and a net will appear. 

I fully expected confirmation that it was TIME. 

It was time for me to get off this god-forsaken hamster wheel that I could not stand any longer…which I blamed on my job—it was stressful, full of budgets and things I didn’t enjoy doing—mind you, I was good at them, but enjoy? 

Not so much. I thought this was my cage.

Anyhow…my guides did not confirm it was time to leave my job. I was shocked. I was angry. I was appalled that they would want me to stay miserable. 

Instead the message was, “take this time to build the runway. You know you can leap,. Take this time to show yourself you can build the foundation.”

M-fers! I didn’t want to build the foundation. I wanted it just to be OVER. The misery to just be GONE. 

Are you feeling me? 

Like throw my keys at the wall wanted to leave I was feeling so unhappy. 

Right around this time one of the life coaches I follow talked about what do we REALLY have to do. I mean, do I HAVE to go to this job each day? I mean, it’s not life or death. 
 
 

It might SEEM like it if I let my brain go—like I couldn’t pay my bills, take care of my family, on and on. That’s what I had always done….shut my mind down at this point and just punched the alarm clock again and dragged my ass out of bed for another day. To show up for everyone else. 

The challenge here is to ask yourself—is that REALLY true? 

A little Byron Katie here….what is really true? 

Would I DIE if I didn’t go to this job? Would my family? No, no they would not. 

Could I find another job? 

Inside my voice said yes, but it would be the same thing. It’s not what I want to do. 

Ah, now we are getting somewhere, right? 

In this process I was starting to awaken my mind…I was already stopping the wheel with the awareness I was creating but I still felt caged. 

As I was awakening to my dharma, my purpose, and starting to listen to that quiet voice inside me more I was starting to expand my dream muscle. My ability to think beyond what I thought was true. 

At this point in the story, I was already about a year in meditation and had started the Sisterhood membership group. I was doing both jobs and just wanted to go ALL IN. 

The guides said not now. 

This caused me to think. Okay, if I make the decision to stay and build the runway, it doesn’t mean I have to be miserable. 

I pick a date and work toward that, just like I did with my weight loss goal, and I start asking, what would I do? How could I build more of a foundation WHILE I was in my current job? 

And, then I asked the bravest question of all—

How could I ENJOY my job while I did this? 

I was reading the Big Leap by Gay Hendricks at the time and learning about my Zone of Genius—this space where our natural abilities that we are in our DNA are applied to what we are good at. This is a state in which we get into “flow –we find never ending inspiration here and we come up with work that is unique and do it in a way that excels beyond what others are doing., 

This is a step beyond the zone of excellence—where I spent a lot of my time, and a lot of people good at they jobs might spend some time here—you are very skilled at this thing. We practice it and establish it over time. We might think this is our Zone of Genius, but we are lacking that unique ability in this area—it is not a unique creation.

Then there is the zone of competence—here is where we are doing what we are efficient at, but many other peoples are also efficient at this—this for me now is like my graphic design skills. While I enjoy doing this—it’s a fun creative outlet for me to design things, and I do create this way on some level, but outside of the creation parts, there are other people good at this, and better than me, for sure.  

Operating in the zone of incompetence we are inherently not skilled at it, and we also don’t understand it inherently. 

I realized I was operating a lot in my zone of competence and excellence at work. My genius zone—which I believe has to do with motivating an inspiring others—spreading the love mojo if you will—this was a very small part of what I got to do as I climbed the ladder at work. 

I wrote about this in my magic morning pages this morning—

I wrote “I was on the hamster wheel hardcore. Passionately spinning it. Making more and more money—for myself and others, climbing ladders and with each rung, moving farther away from what lights me up- in helping and growing others. It became seemingly impossible the higher I got for this to happen.”

In other words, with each promotion, I was taken away from this place I excelled, but also my innate abilities were not utilized as much. 

In making the decision that I was staying, and I didn’t want to be miserable while I was there—this is important, because if you understand the think feel act cycle, you will realize only YOU can make you miserable., You are the one thinking the thought that makes you feel that way. 

And, yes, you have a choice. In each moment to choose what thought you want to have—whether you think you do or not…you DO. 

You have the choice. 

You also have a choice to stop the wheel, get off it and work on breaking free of the cage of your mind.

As I was awakening to having this greater separation between my Self, my inner I AM and my ego self—all these things I am labeled as—Regional Manager, mother, daughter, sister, leader, Slayer…as I started to become more of the observer I decided to apply this to my job. 

How could I be HAPPIER while I was there? How would I live more in the space where I am with people, leading and inspiring? 

I started to insert myself at work with this skills at the forefront and offer them up—and guess what? It turns out other people LOVE budgets and wanted me to use my LOVE skills to light the world up too! 

I had found happiness at work. I still had to “do the things” and there were times I didn’t LIKE what I was doing but I wasn’t adding misery on top of that. I grew to love my boss and have a great relationship, which had struggled while I was fighting this., 

I built the runway for Namaslayer, live on Facebook with all of my sisters by my side. 

I’m finishing reading Untamed by Glennon Doyle (lexi had snagged it from me and I was half way through) so I picked it back up while I was at her house. I just read a part in the book where Glennon had posted her relationship with Abby publicly and was awaiting the backlash, and all she received was love from her community. A friend called her later that day and told her she had been thinking about how Glennon had actually build a community for herself—to love and support her. 

This sang to me. That’s exactly what I had done with the Sisterhood. 

I drew those to me that I needed on my journey, and we all have helped each other. My Sisters have made it possible for me to live this life of freedom, but also for me to dream big in the safety of their love, and to get back up over and over each time I fail with a “hell yeah Slayer, let’s do this!”

Find your sisters my friends, and if you can’t…create it! Why not? 

Speak your truth and they will find you. 

In return for all of this sisterhood love, I create, and share and teach all I can. 

I do my best to lead with love, but most of all to show up authentically as ME, as I have promised from the beginning. 

I want you all to see every aspect of this journey—the good, the bad and ugly. 

 I want you to see me fail, and get back up. 

I want you to see me scared, alone, struggling. 

I want you to see me human, and see me get up and see me DO IT. 

And in it—know that you can do it too. We can do this together. 

We can learn to believe, become and BE. To finally just BE the YOU you were meant to be. 

I got fired up on a facebook live I was doing the other day, I’ll link it in the show notes if you are curious to follow my mind through this inspiration…I got fired up about the hamster wheel and how we don’t have to be on it—but I also wanted to share here, that one of my lessons was staying at that job and learning to live in love there and my zone of genius, because it was in this learning I realized that the hamster wheel wasn’t’ the job—that it wasn’t the cage. 

The cage was in my mind. My lack of imagination. 

UGH! I hate even writing that,. 

I Love to think of myself as a creative person and always have, even in management. I would create new forms, new training materials, new spreadsheets and pretty fliers, I even created an online data base and operation manual once—I loved to do these things, but I didn’t use my imagination to think about a future that is amazing beyond my wildest dreams. 

When is the last time you did? 

If you are in one of my groups, you might say, well, yesterday Slayer since you make us do this all the time. Haha

And, to you I say “you’re welcome”

If you are a stealth listener—when is the last time you dreamt without restriction (hopefully you did with the podcast a few weeks ago)— did you do this without limitations about money, education, family obligations, house payments and mortages? 

If not…go back and re-dream. 

Did you dream when you were younger? What was next? How exciting right? College, house, kids, car, love of your life…all the things right? The world was just wide open!

Then…maybe you dreamt for your kids—what they could grow up and BE? And you ran on the wheel…and just ran and ran and ran. 

Maybe you accumulated more toys in your cage…added in a treadmill and a Stairmaster as you accumulated more possessions, more paychecks and more responsibilities.

Free yourself for a moment from this cage with all of your new toys that keep you running in place and ask…

What do YOU want to grow up and be? Like right NOW?

You are still growing.

We are all on limited time on this planet. 

What IF you have 50 more years??? What are you going to do with them?

Do you ask yourself this? Or Are you going to keep running on these things in your cage thinking there is no way off of them?

That podcast I listened to with Liz Gilbert and Julia Cameron I meantioned last week, I’ll link it again, Liz simply said (and I’m paraphrasing here) she said something to the effect that surely we are not here to just gather a paycheck and pay bills? 

There must be something more, right? 

That—is the hamsterwheel—paycheck to bills. That we exist to just do this. 

This is thinking from lack, and not abundance. This is the lack of understanding who we truly are and how the universe works. 

Let’s GET OFF the wheel. 

It’s time to WAKE UP and stop living to make a paycheck and pay bills, but rather light this world up with your magic!!!

Don’t’ shut me off—this does not mean you walk in tomorrow and quit your job, quite the opposite actually! Hang in here with me…

 I was thinking about and teaching a bit on the Zone of Genius this week, I realized I was still dialing in on my special unique gift that I bring to my genius zone and this will be important for you to explore too (check out Gay Hendrick’s the Big Leap if you haven’t already). 

For me, I know that I get lost in trance when I create—when I write, or put ideas together, like in a new form or spreadsheet even. When I combine concepts I’ve learned from different places and create tools…but there are lots of people that do this—this could be my zone of excellence. I’m good at this, but a lot of other people are too. 

What is unique about me? 

Try this yourself…ask your besties from childhood, or those

I asked a couple of my besties from child hood what they think my unique gift is that I bring to the world. Here’s what I got back:
 Lisa: “Your awesomeness 😊 Your spirit, how you have a positive outlook. Your realness. You ARE you. No faking. “

Karin: “Spirit captures it. Also unbridled enthusiasm and ability to motivate others. “

Why thank you Dudettes. Yes, that’s what we used to call ourselves…we even had a secret handshake. Dudettes, dudettes, gooooooo dudettes. LOL! OMG! Too funny, and fun, and I’m still doing the same stuff…except now we’ve graduated to Witches and Bitches. 

Bahahaha. 

What is your innate unique gift? 

Think back to your childhood. I was writing a lot about this today as I’m trying to help others uncover theirs, which of course always makes me dig in deeper to mine. 

I found a picture in one of my scrapbooks where I had set up a stage. I lined up all the chairs in the house and put my stuffed animals on each chair so I could perform a play. My mom came downstairs as I was in the audience checking out the stage. 

I remember writing a musical that my friends and I sold tickets to in the basement of my home where we roller skated and performed. 

I think I even orchestrated the games of war we would play in the back yard with my brothers and cousins. I mean, I was the General, I’m sure. 

My aunt and I were talking about the differences between coaches and guides or mentors, and I was like—yes, I consider myself a guide or mentor, not a coach. I want to be the Captain of the team…I want to still play, but lead. I want to help others uncover their magic, and help with what I have learned..there is a bit more guidance in this than coaching. 

In coaching we help others uncover it themselves, where I am more of a guide to give tools, to light your fire and inspire people to action. This is hard for me to do in silence…which coaches spend a lot of time in getting you to come to your own realizations, which is powerful and I think as guides we do as well, but it is different for sure. 

My Zone of Genius? 

I believe it’s this THING within me. It’s this passion and energy to want to help inspire people to action. 

As Karin said “your unbridled enthusiasm and ability to motivate people”

I couldn’t have said it better. 

It’s also hard to say these “nice” things about ourselves. We are taught that this is bragging, and to be humble…Bologna!

Start looking for your gifts, start asking and speak about them. OWN them. In this gift is your magic. 

Mine is to inspire belief

And specifically to inspire others that they too can get up and do it. 

And I do this from a place of my love of being the Captain of the team. I’m playing with you, sharing, I’m ON THE FIELD and this is where I like to be. Hooting and hollering and firing you up!

When I played softball I used to concentrate really hard when my sisters would go up to bat. That I could send them the energy they needed to get a hit. 

It was the first unconscious use of this power. 

 I am here to inspire. 

I’m not always sure what and how, but I’m following my signs, I’m watching for the doors the Universe is opening. 

I know I’m to write the book I have always dreamt of—that is happening through October

The question is—how am I hear to inspire you? 

Interesting also is that this is one of my core values too—you will hear me share this often. 

My top 5 core values I live by are Authenticity, Fun, Adventure, Love and Inspire. 

What are yours? This is another valuable thing to know about yourself.

It is my deepest desire to give you some tools, some superpower through osmosis of my creations- that will cause a little click inside. 

It will cause you to take action and help you step off the hamster wheel. 

I’m sending your energy, love and good vibes from the dugout and you are up to bat my sister!

What can you do to wake it up and shake it up?!

Chances are you are already doing this if you are listening to me. 

Are you already hopping off the wheel and increasing the awareness of your mind, body and soul? 

Maybe you are on the wheel, but now you are aware, like I was and you just want to JUMP off it, but alas, you are also receiving a sign to build the runway. 

The question for you is—will you dare to build the runway or will you stay on the wheel? 

What is it your are born to do? What is your zone of genius? Your unique ability?

As you can see, it can be applied in multiple ways too. 

My Zone of genius—this innate ability in my spirit to light fires within has been combined with my life long passion of seeking health. And in that seeking, I have uncovered an entire world full of magic at my soul level, which must now also be shared. 

As my friend Karin said—my unbridled enthusiasm. lOL

My excitement about these things that is palpable. It’s like I can hardly contain this energy inside of me—I MUST tell the world. 

Such as when I found the magic of meditation—I am DRIVEN that you must know too! I will use my energy, humor, life experience, tools I create…all sorts of methods to drive you to this place that I know will be a game changer for you too as you start to incorporate it in your life. It’s an absolute…

You must all find your magic inside…

Or I will die trying. 

There is nothing I would rather do than come up with ways to help others see they can get off the wheel and it manifests in different ways—sometimes with meditation as a tool, other times its fasting and then at other it’s the mindwork. As I get passionate, that energy is transmuted through my being. I feel like I can infuse others with it if given the opportunity. 

When you are ready for it, I am here to FIRE you up. 

When you are ready to take the action. 

Are you thinking, well, I don’t know what action to take, but I want off the wheel? 

This entire Heartsing Podcast has tools woven in it to help you get off the wheel!!

You never know what might be the combination that moves you forward, and even when you do find that there will still be more lessons to learn, more tools to gather. 

Let me teach you to meditate, if I haven’t already. 

Let’s start creating the space between your Self and your ego.  

And start changing from within, right where you are. 

Once you can see that the cage is not that thing or situation you are in. Just like my cage wasn’t my job, your cage is not that thing you are in either. 

I know…it sure as hell FEELS like it, right? 

But what IF you start expanding your mind, right where you are at? 

What IF you DO create this all and you have created the wheel you are currently running on? 

Then you may ask, How did I create this? Through my thoughts of course—to believe otherwise is to put yourself in victim mentality and you are therefore powerless.

Take your POWER back. 

You create this. 

What do you WANT to create? Build that vision. Start to act. Start to do things you have not done. Start to put into motion this next version of you…right where you are now. 

Ask your friends what your unique gifts are. Think on that. 

Think about how you can utilize them more. How can you combine your unique gift, your superpower with what you are good at or what you enjoy doing? 

I am passionate about health, and weight loss was the driving factor for me and it was my portal to uncovering my magic so I speak from this voice. I have combined what I am good at— leading people creating systems and communicating with my unique gift of inspiration. 

This could be applied in many different aspects of life. Applying it to what I am passionate about—health and personal growth and allowing room for future growth on my path ensure I am living in my genius zone more and more. 

Gay Hendricks recently renamed this to the Genius Spiral. I love this because there is no end. As you continue on your path, that genius zone expands—as our awareness does spiritually and physically. Body, mind and soul, our zone expands. 

It’s just brilliant, isn’t it?!

I hope I have lit a fire somewhere for you to take action NOW. Do not wait until you are retired, or until you lose the weight, or until you leave the relationship. 

If you are playing a though in your head that says something like “After this happens, I will do this…” Stop in your tracks!
 You are on the wheel. What can you do NOW to move toward a vision of a different life? To live more in your zone of genius NOW right where you are? 

I assure you, it is possible. 

Where do you start? 

Again, ask your friends about your unique gifts.

Dial in to your zone of genius and your unique gift. 

Challenge yourself to ask how you can live in this zone more?  How can it be applied in your life right now? 

Do you have a future vision for yourself? If not, there is a lot of future self work right here on this podcast. Create an Alter Ego, maybe DREAM big with me like I did a few episodes ago. 

You must start to push beyond what you think is possible. That is just keeping you on the wheel. 

Start to open up and ask more What IFS?

What would it look like? 

And, for heaven’s sake…meditate already! 

Check the show notes for links in this episode

As always, your reviews leave my heart full of sunshine! Listen to this one from songgirl76 from just last week over on apple podcasts:
 songgirl76, 08/27/2021

Could Not Love This More!

Heartsing Podcast is ALLL THE THINGS! Addie B. AKA Slayer is light and love. You are sure to be inspired to live your best life through her realness and joy. You will fall in love with her over and over with every episode❤️

I love you too songgirl76, whomever you are, thank you! MUAH! If you are falling in love with me too…know that you are already lighting my heart up and it’s coming right back at you sister!

If you are called to be as generous as Songgirl76 and many others that have taken time to leave a review on the Heartsing Podcast and share with their friends, please know that it is received joyously with my arms open wide! It really helps of course the podcast get noticed, but as the end goal is to reach as many of our like minded witches and bitches out there that need to get off the hamster wheel—it amplifies that with each of you sharing your magical energy with me here and the podcast, so thank you! 

Now…go get off that wheel if you are on it. Do something different. Mix it up—Shake it up to wake it up! 

Sometimes that is all that is needed to stop the wheel so you can transcend your cage. 

Until next week my darling witches and bitches!

Slayer out!