Ep #76: What is your Origin Story? Discover what makes you tick and your Core Values

Slayer shares her experience uncovering her core values and the base of her origin story: Inspiration, Love and Adventure while doing the work in the book Buddha and The Badass. Easy action items to do this yourself in under 30 minutes and uncover direction from your past as you learn how to use your past to guide your future. 

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Transcript

Do you know that there is something magical inside of you, but you don't know how to uncover it. The Heartsing podcast is dedicated to just that helping you put yourself first and figure out what lights you up. I'm your host, Addie B AKA Slayer of Namaslayer. And through my journey of losing nearly a hundred pounds, uncovering the magic of my soul and building the life of my dreams.

I'm leaving no stone unturned in the process of self discovery, and I'm here to share it all with you. So let's get started. Hey, Hey. Hey, welcome back to the Heartsing podcast. Addie B here aka Slayer of Namaslayer today. I am going to take you on an inspiring adventure full of love, because in that one sentence, I just shared with you my three core values,

and hopefully you feel this infused in most everything I do. And this became so clear to me over the past few weeks, even though I've known this, but it's gotten even clearer because of what I'm going to share with you here today and how valuable this exercise can be for you on your journey. And so many different ways. I'm going to share with you a process that I picked up while I was reading Buddha and the bad-ass that I shared with you last week.

And if you're on the email list, I did this really too long of an email, but I couldn't sensor myself. I'm just too excited about this concept. I've done this work before in a future sense aspect to where I'm defining my core values. And what's really important to me. And what's defining the direction I'm going from a space in my future,

but I have not done this really from my past. I mean, maybe briefly here and there doing some exercises or working through the artist's way, but not in this focused manner and doing this for my business, which is why I'm reading Buddha in the bad-ass. But I realized so quickly how it applies to every goal. You have every essence of your being.

If you can understand these core components about yourself, it can drive and help you make decisions in each moment and know how to set yourself up for greater success, with all things with health, with your weight loss even sounds crazy, right? That defining your core values could help with your weight loss. Let's look at my core values. Okay? My core values being inspiration,

adventure, and love. These are the top three. And I'm going to break it down for you a little bit more as we get into this episode about a little bit of how you get there, how mine got there and what they mean to me, but essentially how does that apply to my weight loss? When I look back, I'm like, of course I went live to inspire other people about their journey.

I made everything adventure, every everyday adventures, it's going to be fun. It's going to be new. It's going to be exciting. Once I started to understand this and I started to try new things, try new foods. Also share my love. That is just part of who I am as love for all things love for my sisters. Love for life.

Love for beings, compassion and love. That is just burning within me and these just being a core foundation of all things I operate on. These are going to be different for each of us. This is why this could be valuable for you to identify in your journey and really uncover your origin story. What brought you to the space you are now? And it has created these fundamentals that are hardwired in you that are the compass for things that you want to do and how you want to live your life.

And this episode today, we are going to create our future, but from the knowledge and wisdom of our past, with these core beliefs and fundamentals that are within us. So if you take the time to even just sit and reflect a little bit about this and write about it and think about your early memories, and I'm going to guide you through this exercise on this episode too.

So we'll relisten to it again later and sit down with your pen and paper and do the work take 20 minutes out of your day. And you just don't know what might be inspired from within you. Okay? But first, before we get into that, I'm going to update you on my weight loss journey. Of course I weighed in, again this last Sunday,

and I have to tell you guys, I've had solid succession of weight loss weeks back to back to back. And this has not been the case on my journey, literally ever, but something had clicked this last time. I'm telling you, and I don't know if it's going to stay this way or the journey who knows things can happen. I'm not,

it doesn't matter because I'm getting to goal regardless. It's done. I am that person already, but I've just seen a solid loss, boom, boom, boom week after week. And it's like, I've just had this shift in me, but also I have all these things in place that I've been talking about. I have the accountability I'm weighing in live.

I'm accountable here to you. I'm reporting again to the sisterhood. I'm doing my plans. I'm updating my charts. I'm doing all those things that I know. Keep me on task for that end goal of the higher self. And you know, what else has happened in the process of it? Yes. I might be measuring my weight on a scale,

but all the other things are coming in alignment. I'm spending more time on energy for me, walking, eating better, fueling my body, not eating so much tying to my emotions more time on my yoga mat because I'm not spending more time buffering with the, all these other things. It's really making me face myself in this next evolution of myself. This is what I knew it happened when I pulled off the bandaid and I'm ready for it.

I think our journeys are like this. Sometimes we're going through the mud and other times we've become and we're ready for it. And then there's going to be more mud ahead. I know I'll have some more mud ahead. At some point, something's going to come as I'm going through this evolution process, but it gets easier and easier. Each time I go through there to give you an update on the stats.

I started my journey in 2017, at 307 pounds. Probably more than that. I just told them to stop telling me. At some point I weighed in last week at 180 6 0.6. My goal is 1 62, which is my healthy BMI for my height. And we will see what happens when I get down there. But that's my big, impossible, crazy weight loss goal.

I am set to do that for June 26. So I have a weekly goal of 1.5 pounds to make that happen. So what this looks like each week as I'm watching my data is okay, what do I need to shift? What I need do to make this happen and not be bullshitting myself because I know my body at this point in my journey,

you guys, I know my body. I understand what food is doing to my body. I understand, you know, what, if I'm moving or not moving what effect that might have and how I might need to adjust my food, I'm a machine with it. So this is why I say it's so important to just start to look at your body.

Like it's scientists, scientific evidence, all right, like, what am I eating? What is the scale? Say big deal. It is what it is, but that's how you get to learn what is happening in your body. So if you can get to the point where you're removing all your, self-loathing, all your self judgment about what it all means to you,

you can get to the point where you can be like, all right, what have I got to do? Who am I going to become in the process? Who do I want to be? What does she look like? Where do I want to go? And how does that align with my values? It's just so much more than the weight loss.

Isn't it? You guys have really isn't anything to do with that at all. It's everything to do with this who you are inside in hearing her. So we just stopped the eating. And it's so interesting to me that the path can be for like someone like me, something so scientific as, Hey, what's on the scale. How am I going to get there?

And in the process of me getting there, I'm uncovering all of these other things about me that I love so much. And I love putting in my life that are healthier, better choices for me. Then the old me and my old body and my old programming. It's so fascinating. Couple more things on the weight loss quest. And then I will get into us working on your origin story.

These core values, where it all came from. I am almost actually, I have passed, what am I talking about? Almost you guys I've passed the 120 pound mark, 180 6 0.6, 3 0 7. So over 120 pounds loss. Now that is insane to me. Might one of my girlfriends has one of those really big dogs. And she posted on Facebook the other day.

And it's bigger than one of our friends. She's a, a really, really tiny person, right? And I'm like, oh my gosh, how much does your dog weigh now? And she was like, the D the dog star Star-Lord is his name. He's about like 117 pounds. I'm like, oh my gosh, I've lost a Star-Lord off my body.

By the time it's said and done, I'll have lost nearly half my body weight. It's just crazy. And if I got down to one 50 something, I guess it would be half my body weight and saying, oh my gosh, that's so cool. Which you guys it's been like this long process. And if you're in the Heartsing podcast community, and we're watching the young Jedi's journey,

and she's at the beginning of her a hundred pounds this year. And although she's been doing work for a year, right, like it's this path, and you're going to watch her go through this and off plan eat. So she went to McDonald's this week and how we're moving through these things. And we're all going to move differently, but it all comes down to some of the same principles,

you know, about our thoughts and our feelings, of course, all of these, but also the tools we are bringing in our lives because of who we want to become, who we're choosing to become. So this isn't a painful process. This is a fun adventure process. This is a process of, oh my gosh, what if I could create the coolest thing ever in the world?

What if I could have that body I've always wanted to be in that house? I wanted to live in, if I could create this bad-ass sisterhood of which is in bitches, what would it look like when you dare to start to crack your mind open? And you start to say, I, I could, I could do this. What would it look like?

Just for kicks? Just for fun. Okay. You guys enough about the weight loss and the future solving. We're actually going to dive into your past and look at some of your origin stories today. So normally when I teach future self, I do this exercise in a way with values. Like, will you look to this future? We build this alter ego.

What drives them? What is their origin story? Where did they come from? And often it'll mirror a lot of ours, but we don't actually go back and timeline it. I'm going to start doing this. We are now, let me tell you, because this is really cool, like to take our current self and say, okay, we know these fundamentals are driving us.

It's driving where we, where we are called to be. It's who we are. These are imprinted in our DNA. So you're going to go through this process. You are going to make a timeline, okay? Start with your youngest memory and go all the way up to the age of 25. These really formative years, and each year you are going to sit and really think and reconnect with a painful moment.

It's it's these times that we make these powerful decisions on how we're going to choose to behave in the future. But they're also going to come from those really high moments to where they're so grand or awesome that you just don't ever want to forget them. So think about these times in your life, these highs and these lows, and if you've experienced some trauma,

you might want to get someone to help and support you through this. So that's what they also recommend in the Buddha and the bad-ass. So if you feel like you've had that, and you might need some guidance through this, but you want to do it, make sure you reach out to somebody. And so ask yourself, what is the most painful experience you went through as a young child and write out that story in detail,

and you bring yourself back to that moment and you describe it vividly. Who was there? What happened? How did you feel? You know, he has an example in the book. I fell off the swing and into the mud and all my friends laughed at me. And then what is the value that came out of that? I'm going to share a couple here with you for me.

I mean, none of them were really right. I didn't have any really major trauma. It was more like trauma in my brain. Right. But one of them, the things I remembered was when I was in second grade, we moved to a new school. And I remember I got in so much trouble by the teacher and I felt horrible, but that I remember thinking it was worth it.

And here's what happened. So I'm the new kid in school. And I'm like in the bag with a bunch of the like cool boys or whatever. Right. And we're sitting around this table and someone said the word dork or something. And I'm like, what does that mean? I'm going to look it up in the dictionary. And so I look it up and it turns out a dork is a bull's penis.

Okay. And so we just thought that was the funniest thing. And they were laughing. And I would just, like, I remember feeling like I was super cool and like, I was the center of this attention. And it came from like humor, sharing my humor and starting to engage in what was I like six in second grade? I don't know.

I started kindergarten when I was four. I mean, I was five, six, I guess you are a six or seven. And so I still remember that clear as day. And her name was Mrs. Bursa. And I got in trouble for that. But the thing that was ingrained in me from that, my value that I wrote out of that is not something because I got in trouble.

It was sense of humor, belonging. Like these are the values that I learned from that lesson. And the same with, let me give you one, that's maybe a little more on the like, not quite trauma side, but a little more negative. I mean, you know, of course I got in trouble a lot when I was little, like,

I remember this one time we went to swim me at this high school and I had, for some reason written this really bad nasty message on the back of a bathroom stall you guys. I felt so bad about it. I broke out in hives. I sweated all night. I had a S I was sick to my stomach as probably like 10 or 11.

And I finally went crying to my mom and we drove all the way to the school and pounded on the door until the janitor answered. So I could go or race off the door. I'm like, oh my gosh. But I just remember, and, you know, I got, I was really thinking, why was that so impactful to me? First of all,

why do I even remember that out of all the times I got in trouble, but it's sad really mean things. It said, whoever is reading, this is a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, like something mean, and I'm telling you from the time we all popped out of my mom, that's a horrible way to say, well,

if you're not used to that yet on those podcasts, you know, so anyhow, from the time we were born, all we heard was love. Don't hate, love. Don't hate any time, like a negative thought word, anything would come out of your mind. So you're constantly retraining your brain. And part of me is love. Don't hae like mocking a bit,

but I still hear that voice in my head all the time. Like just programming me back to being in love and being nice and kind to people. My mom, we would have go, she taught school and she was teaching in a school district that they didn't have a lot of money. And I remember her first couple of years, she was just so devastated by the kids that she couldn't help.

And that really had nothing. And we would drive, we'd go and get them presents like around the holidays and we'd drive around to her students and give them gifts. Of course, as she started teaching more and more, you know, she started to realize that she couldn't, you know, take care of everybody and keep doing these things. But it was really impactful for me in my use of that compassion and that kindness and feeling so much for other people and wanting to help alleviate their pain.

And that when I got into this values exercise and looking at the difference between love, compassion, empathy, sympathy, all of these things, I was really torn between love and compassion, because I think one of the other key moments in my life was my ball of misery. That truly gave me the utmost compassion for my father for, I think I always had the compassion and the part where compassion is like,

we can look on with, with sympathy and some form of petty in there sometimes too, which I didn't like. I didn't like that in the definition of it. And this is why it's important that we all make our own definitions of the words that you come out as your values, because you're going to define something different than I would define something. But truly when I was in that ball of misery,

because you guys, my dad was morbidly obese. Okay. So like over 800 pounds, it was very tall, man. But we, you know, I just remember that so vividly going to the scrap metal yard to weigh him at one point. And it just being like, wow, but the compassion that came from that for me, for humanity watching my father,

who was just like the smartest, most generous kind, loving, intelligent person I knew on this planet, funny is so funny. Right? All of these things, watching him just eat himself to death and not to be able to seem to stop. So when I was in that ball of misery, where I saw myself doing this and that I could see so easily how I could be on that path,

how I could not stop to, I had spent my whole life trying not to be that rather than realizing that I already was that rate within me, we all already are. So when I see on the internet, I see pictures of people that are really obese or heavy people. And they're getting all these comments that, how do they let themselves get that way?

How do they get there? And I just, it makes my heart just melt for everybody, for the person saying it, because I understand why they're seeing it. They literally can't comprehend how that could, how that could happen, where I might not be able to comprehend how they got to the point to be the person that leaves that kind of comment on someone's post.

Right. But I can understand how in their life that maybe that, that is something that they were led to do, but I can completely a hundred percent understand and have compassion and want to alleviate the pain from that severely obese person from any of us that are carrying excess weight around us because of these imprints from my childhood and that love and that compassion just being that thread within.

Okay. So that's another example. Wow. I just, that one off, I guess I'm gonna leave that because that was just meant to be said from my heart, but a little bit longer than I wanted to share with you on that part of the exercise. So you can see how you take these points throughout your lifetime. And my polymer misery was a lot more recent,

right? You're going to want to do this from like five to 25. And so you get all of these values. So you write out your stories and then you sit and say, okay, what values did I take from that? From when I went and wrote on the bathroom wall, what did I take from that? Right. That I want it to be loving to people,

even if it's like in writing something out there, and sometimes I'll do this. I'll get like really borderline with a poster, a video I do or something, and I'll feel bad about it. And then I'll go take it down. Like if it's not putting like good words and good love and good vibe, I'll have like this feeling in my stomach and I have to go like remove it.

And in fact, I have one out there right now. I need to go take it down. It's got way too many F-bombs in it, but I thought it was hilarious, but then now I just feel bad about it. So I need to go take it down. And that's like that, that compass in there, but it's that value that integrity also within myself.

So I got all of these values. So you go through and you do this exercise for the highs and the lows you can do as many as you want. So after you do this, timelining you get this big list of values that came out of all these experiences in your life. And so, you know, I had a lot from sports and leading teams and even things that came out of things that weren't a positive impact on my life.

There was always that kind of theme running through it, right? Like the comradery and the teamwork and dreaming and fun and authenticity. So I have this, you get this list of values. So I had motivate inspire creator, innovator, fun, integrity, authentic love, compassion, dreamer, excitement, open-mindedness nonjudgmental, risk-taker freedom, trustworthy, gross seeking transformative.

So I have all of these values, oh, humor, the gosh, there were so many. And then you take these values and they really make you narrow it down into like pockets into like three main values. So you're going to intake all these values and you may want to do this part too. And I did this afterward. I didn't do it the first round,

but it was really valuable in my understanding what I really meant by these values, because we all define them differently. You can take this list of values and write your definition. What does it mean to you? And then you take each of these values and you start to clump them together and you start to move them in an organized way. So I ended up under inspiration.

I have motivate, inspire, authentic self discovery and possibly compassion. I felt like that one could also was also part of love, but also was part of inspiring. It was because inspiring to me means that I am sharing from the depths of my being that from this light within me, it's the breath of life is inspire, right? I think that's from the Greek meaning of it.

But ultimately back in the day, it originated from divot divinity within. And I thought, oh my gosh, isn't that beautiful? Because it's so true when I am in alignment. And when I'm sharing from my truest source, my authentic self is my super power, right? It's all of our super powers. But that to me is inspiration. It's inspiring when I hear who you truly are inspired when I am inspiring is because I'm speaking from that part of me,

that is ultimate truth. Honesty, love, integrity, authenticity. All of these things go under that inspire category for me. And then I have adventure and I was able to bundle under adventure, create innovate, future selfing, dreaming, excitement, freedom. Risk-takers self-discovery I don't know if you guys know this about me, but I've always been an adventurer.

Right? I packed up in the middle of the night and I left Michigan. When I was doing laundry. I told my mom I, or I, no, I wasn't actually doing laundry. That's what I told my mom I was doing. And I took off in the middle of the night with this guy I was seeing and I moved to Phoenix,

right. And then I moved from Phoenix to Hawaii in a couple of months. That's why my guides told me, Hey, we know you can jump. You need to build the runway because this is, I I've always wanted to be an adventure. It was always like, wow, what's the worst that can happen. What's the best thing that could happen.

It's kind of always been a driving force within me. And so, so I see self-discovery I see what I'm creating at Namaslayer as an adventure every day is an adventure. I don't know what I'm doing. I am like forging paths, unknown. I'm creating something that hasn't ever been created before. Fun, fun, fun, all day long. You know,

like talk about in alignment, every new form I make every new system I put together, the planner, I created this groups. I'm leading, it's all an adventure to me. And so this is part of core of who I am. And then finally love. I was able to put under love, love, of course, compassion, trust, integrity.

Open-mindedness non-judgemental inclusivity. It's just so much of, I can see it in everything. I'm creating, everything I've created and what I wanted the sisterhood to really be about our foundation. It's all true inspire. And my tagline being believed become, be inspiration. Adventure, love believe become B. It's all like the same language. And this is what has been my driving force.

And it's also been the base of what has made this weight-loss adventure successful for me. I made it an adventure. I made it a journey of self discovery. I made it a full of love. I made it full of inspiration. And I brought together women that are also interested in these things that they like, these core values are attracted to them.

It might not be their core values, but they might be like, yeah, I like the feeling the love over there. Whereas slayers that, and then some other people are going to like, not be interested at all. And they say, that's how you know, you're doing a good job, right? Like when you are so defined and who you are that people have a clear sense of your direction and your being.

So I want to ask you that you have a clear direction of your being of who you are, of what drives you and what has created you. I did a lot of this work. I think when I did the artist's way at the beginning of my journey, this journey of self-discovery of created creativity, healing my inner child. And as you do this work,

these past experiences, you can take this knowledge and make it wisdom. You no longer living in the pain from the past, you're experiencing the wisdom of it so that you can create a new future. That is so immense and incredible. You just can't even begin to dream about it yet. And then you start to dare to dream about it and then it dares to happen.

So to wrap it up today, you guys, I hope I gave you enough examples in here for you to really understand how to do this for yourself. I think if you do an one, this is going to be a, one of the key things I'm going to teach going forward. And again, you're going to go through these peak, these high,

and these low moments from your earliest memory up to about 25 and write them down, write a little note about the story that happened. And what is the value do you think was imprinted in you from that story? And you're going to repeat the process for each age as you go up defining the values too. And then you're going to get this list of like 10 to 20 values when you're done and clump them together.

So you narrow it down to really your three core values, just like I explained to you how I moved them underneath the adventure, love and inspiration. Could you see how all those other values fit into each of those categories? So that is how you go about, and this will give you an origin story and this not only will come valuable and knowing how you want to approach things in life.

But like, let's say you are building a business or at your career, even with your family to know what is important to you. I can look back you guys and sees so much about who I was growing up, who I was being created into being from, you know, my time at sports and always leading in creating teams and doing that into my young adult hood and into my early twenties and thirties and growing the skills,

or how about when I was a child, I was remembering all these times, you guys, that I would create plays, or we would, I would teach school in our basement. And we would like sell tickets to come to our roller skating events. And it was always, it was always me like coming up with these ideas and ring, leading everyone into it.

When I look back, I just started laughing. I think even playing army in the backyard was my idea. I just always liked to create an adventure and have fun and yet be like leading it and teaching it right. Like I was wanting to be the teacher. I didn't want to be the student, although I am the greatest student when I do teach.

Okay. You guys, well, I hope that gives you some inspiration for this week and that you take some time and do this and really reflect, use your magic morning pages time. Any journaling time, you have set aside 20 to 30 minutes and really go back, make this timeline chart, your highs and your lows, and what values came out.

What is your compass? What drives you? I love to hear what yours are. You can always email me Slayer at Namaslayer dot com. I love to hear from you hop in the Heartsing podcast community. If you're not already. And I look forward to seeing you guys next week, as always, if you like and enjoy this podcast, please drop a review,

share it with your friends, tell everybody that needs some Heartsing out there where they can find us. And maybe they too need to dig into their origin story and really define that compass until next week. My which is in bitches, Slayer out