S3 Ep 172: "F*ck the Man!" 3 Small Actions to ME First

In this episode, we’re tearing down the walls between self-care and getting shit done. How the hell do we level up our lives while we are in the grind? We explore the answer being in putting ourselves first, and some ways to execute it (HINT: "F*ck the Man!") Get your mind out of the gutter dear listener (hee hee), it's just an optional thought, but a damn good one. 

Highlights

• How to slay new job (or home) responsibilities - the real deal on battling perfectionism like a badass
• Crafting a vision that’s big enough to make you want to show up—hello, future global traveler! 
• The difference 3 Actions can make
• Tips on evening game-planning, keeping ‘go bags’ ready for action, and using community to support your hustle and heart. 
• It’s all about creating the energy and mindset to enjoy the path as you bring your dreams to life...one badass step at a time.

Episode Breakdown:

• 00:00 – Intro and Halloween Shenanigans 🎃
• 01:05 – Life Update: Yoga Teacher Training Complete!
• 02:22 – The New Gig & Leveling Up
• 03:32 – Hardcore Self-Care Tips
• 04:56 – Drawing Boundaries in Corporate America (translates to home)
• 09:53 – Strategies for Success
• 12:32 – Crafting Your Power Environment
• 16:17 – Intentional Living for Badasses
• 18:35 – The Lowdown on ‘Go Bags’
• 20:16 – Yoga Teacher Training Ahas
• 23:57 – Dream Big: Future Goals & Visions
• 27:12 – Meditation, Mindfulness & Moxie
• 28:34 – Wrapping Up Like a Boss

4o

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Free Visioning Meditation (goes with Ep 160 Unlock Your Future: Create Vision for Midlife Transformation)

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Transcript

  Aloha, witches and bitches. It's Halloween week. If you're listening to real time,  this isn't a very Halloweeny episode. So don't worry if you're not, because today I'm going to share with you first a little catch up on my life and where I'm at.

And then three things I'm doing now to set up my future self. Like what are these small little actions I can take to keep stepping forward? And this is what this game is getting to any goal, whether it's the next big life adventure or a weight loss goal or, um, you know, any other health goal, any goal.

Right? Financial, health goals. The whole point is getting back up over and over again until you figure it out, until you get the thing, until you get the goal. And then guess what? Then we want to start it all over again because we are growth seeking beings. So if we're not numbing ourselves out, this is the path.

And every once in a while I find that I dial back from moving forward. It's like I just have to be like, blah, but those times get shorter and shorter. And this past week, after I finished yoga teacher training, yay,  me, Yoga Addie is complete in my mind.  We are done. I am ready to get back to my yoga practice.

But this was a goal of mine for such a long time. And it was like, After I graduated and finished last week, it was like, I just kind of shut down with everything this week. I mean, I looked back and I had four days. I didn't do a plan. And you guys, this never happens. I plan on vacation. I plan for fun. fun.

I love to plan. This week was me sleeping in and not getting up. You know what I realized too is I ran out of coffee pods. I  couldn't get myself out of bed because I didn't have the bribe of the coffee. It's so ingrained in my habit stack. And I was like, boy, well, I better make sure I don't ever have to give up coffee or that part of my habit is gone.

It's going to be fun to retrain everything, but so anyhow, I kind of just chilled out this week. I didn't do a podcast last week. Even these things that I was so like, I got to show up, I got to show up. And I just didn't, I just had to decide, Hey, I'm not doing it. I'm just resting. I got another change at my job.

If you guys can believe that I'm taking over a different Division or different department and we knew this was going to happen. One of my co workers is leaving her family will PCS, uh, change of duty station, their military, and they will go back to the mainland. And so we knew that was going to happen, but we thought we had until April and it's happening this week.

So everything fast forward, that's all shifted, but there's so many good things layered in that too. But again, I'm rearranging these things that I've set up in my life, but I can tell you already from having this one weekend, I went to the beach this morning. I did my Facebook live from out there. I did my coaching group call actually from out there and just got my feet and my body in the earth.

And I went and I planned and I dreamed and. All of that at my little coffee shop out there at the resort. And I was like, Oh, this feels so good. I can feel it all brewing again. Just me being in my focus on me and my ability to decide what is important and implement that. So I want to share with you guys three things that's That have come out of this week that I'm putting into action with all these changes to set myself up to be successful in the future and the expectation isn't that, Oh my gosh, I have to go do these things perfectly.

In fact, this was right. Totally on topic my coaching client this morning. She is really struggling at work and prioritizing and Setting the boundaries with putting herself first and she sees it but doesn't quite know what to do with it It's like the case of the overwhelms. I have a podcast episode on here.

That's pretty cool Perfect. If you are experiencing this, it's episode 10 on perfectionism. It's called Getting It Done, and this became a mantra in our sisterhood. Done is better than perfect. Perfectionism will kill it every single time. And setting yourself up to be like, okay, I'm moving forward. This is when I'm getting something done.

This is when I'm trying it, and it doesn't need to be perfect, but I'm sure as hell gonna try. to get it done and make this happen and see what happens in the process. So I bring that up while I'm in the midst of this episode because it was so spot on for me as well. Of course, as everything that comes to you at a certain time comes for a reason, and I find this even when I'm coaching others, I'm like, aha, I needed to hear that too.

As I'm back in the corporate America world, as I'm sitting in a car commuting as I'm on band mom pickup duty or whatever else is going on in my weekly life, figuring out how to put myself first is what is key. And I heard you guys all know, I went back in no BS weight loss with Corinne Crabtree and I was listening to a coaching call I love.

I have so much time in my car right now and I love everything is on a podcast so I can listen to people getting coached. It's very entertaining to me. So I was listening to Corinne this week and she had Some found some quote on instagram that she quoted because someone asked her about finding your purpose And she said she had just found it that morning because of course everything comes to you when you need it to And it was something along the lines of if you don't know what your purpose is Don't stress it.

Don't worry about the purpose focus on yourself focus on making yourself The best you can be focused on your health, your happiness, like that highest self expectation for you, what that looks like. And this is why over and over again, I share with you guys that I really think in seeking my health, I uncover the magic.

And this is because yes, I'm not shoving my face, numbing emotions, blocking out things with food and drinks and all of that. I'm allowing messages to come in from my highest self. from her that speaks and inevitably I end up sharing and helping someone else along the line because I'm allowing myself to be.

And this comes through prioritizing ourselves and putting ourselves first. So it was funny. I was talking to this, uh, this sister this morning, my client, and I was like, fuck the man, like, get, get angry. Like, don't give them all of you. And listen, I don't say this with. Total disrespect, but let's be real.

There's like 20 percent of women in leadership roles We're if you're in corporate America, you're working for the man, you know what I'm saying? But I say that with all due respect. I'm very grateful for my job I love my job in a lot of ways, but it's not getting all of me. I see my co workers doing what I did In my 40s, in my 30s, when I was like leaving blood on the table and drove me into my 300 pound ball of misery, it wasn't all work, it was me allowing it to happen to me instead of me happening to it.

Instead of me saying, here's the line, you get me after 8. You get me after nine. In fact, the time doesn't even matter. You get me after I finished my plan for the day. And I, I am doing this this year, but I see the inner battle within me. I'll wake up thinking about work and I'm like, okay, you know what you need to do?

Now we need to go back to that list at the end of the night. Make sure you're prepped, get it out of your brain. Like I have all of these tools now, but still implementing them and putting them in places when. my entire life has been uprooted.  It's, it's a process and it's a journey. And I just want to say wherever you are on that journey, let it be easy right now.

Right? So all, for example, all we're working on with this client of mine this week is just her writing down those six, six things at night. Cause work is overwhelming, right? Instead of you thinking about it all night and in the morning, close your day out, take 10 minutes at the end of the day and be like, these are the things that are priority tomorrow.

And then you get up in the morning and you plan the day and it just it makes such a game changer and then I also plan what I'm going to bomb. Definitely listen to episode 10 if you have perfectionist  issues, whether it's at work, being a stay at home parent, whatever it is, go listen to that episode. It was really golden.

It had a lot of good tips in there, but I tell you this because F the man. Right, like where are you giving so much of yourself and you're not putting yourself first? This is where you have to decide whatever your mantra is gonna be, right? Like screw it me first, right? Like that might be my attitude and how I get myself to go about taking care of myself first You might do it in a more kind and loving way  You pick your mantra if you want to use fuck the man take it use it.

There you go. You're welcome  So it's, it's this idea though, you get me after I get me and you know, what's going to happen is the man is going to be so much more grateful that you did this because you're so much better on the other side of taking care of yourself.  Like what I found happened was I was able to work less.

I was more productive. I was giving more to everyone around me because I was in my zone. I was in my energy and it translated to my job and it still does this today. So here's a few things. So as I'm in F the man mode, me first, I got to get back to double down and on taking care of myself so that it, it, it can.

amplified through my organization, through you, through people I lead, through my life, through me just feeling good about myself, through my child I'm here being an example for. I feel like I haven't been a great example, like the, the ultimate example of what I could show her to be. Like, there's so much of that, right?

So, but I know also from doing this for seven or eight years of transformation that it takes time and I need to do it with love and compassion for myself and for others around me, right? So here's a few things that came up for me. So with my new job, this is kind of exciting.  I got A new office. So I moved across the office and I'm not near the break room.

Thank God. Hallelujah. Thank you, God. Right? Like that was a gift from heaven right there because every day I can't tell you there's the water coolers in there and I drink a lot of water. You guys, I don't, I'm not the person that has a water issue. So I'm in there like 10 times a day. There's a candy machine that I pass and I never have money.

So, but it's still, my mind is looking at it. Oh, that looks good right now. That, and I'm, so I'm constantly managing my mind looking at all of these obstacles. And when I talk about setting up my environment to make it easy, right? There's only so many times a day I can look at this shit and be successful because that's where my mind's at right now, right?

There was a period where I could have walked by that stuff all day long. It's not right now in my life. So where am I at? So I'm like, okay, I got this new office. It actually has a little fridge that stays in there. I'm like, Could that get any better? I don't even have to buy one. It's got a mini fridge and I immediately got the candy out of there and the chips are going on Monday because she's the keeper of all the junk food for all the events we have at the office.

Like, well, that's out of there. So I immediately got the candy out of there because it was in front of me. I can't imagine  Like, to have been her, be able to look at that bucket of candy all day and not just grab ass a piece. I'm like, that's goals to me. That's like, let me work on all the thoughts around what that candy's doing for me.

And I know physically it's doing something, but I want to be on the other side of even caring about that again. And somewhere along the line that will hit. But it's not right now. So right now, I'm like, how can I set myself up to be the most successful I can be? So creating my environment in my office, I'm going to order a water jug, a BPA water jug that I can fill up with water and just fill up in my office so I don't have to go back and forth to that water cooler, which is by the way, far from my new office, which should be good for the steps.

But, also, don't want to look at the candy machine, and it's the place all the leftover muffins and donuts and cakes and whatever anyone doesn't want is put on the table in there. Like the Costco muffins, you guys, the double chocolate chip one, you know? You know the ones? And the chocolate chip cookies with the chunks? 

All of that stuff. My god, it's bad up in there. So anyhow, all that stuff, I'm not going to have to look at that. So there's the big fridge and freezer in there. So. If I bring some freezer food, I kind of have to go there to do it. So I'm just going to set my mind It's a whole idea of what could get in my way today and that could be an obstacle like hey I know i'm going to eat this food that i've got to take out of the freezer to prep part of it There might be some junk in there What's my game plan if there is am I going to put some of it on my plant or like random junk stuff?

If you want to eat it or am I going to not eat it and see what happens Getting back to these  Committing to my plan and seeing what comes up when I don't want to because I've been really good about making plans I'm really good about that. I'm good about Setting my intention, but as I've shared before I want to really work on showing up for my plans  I'm good at making um, and I do pretty good, but I want to be like How am I the badass bitch that just shows up for her plan more times than she doesn't?

Like 90 percent I'm showing up, man. I know if I put that on the plan, it's going to happen. And right now it's, it's, I'm not there and I need to level up some certain things. So starting with the environment, right? Easy office environment, I'm going to get apples and veggies ready to go in my little fridge there.

I'm chopping up some apples today. Easy, right? I'm going to take in my yoga mat and make a meditation altar in there.  Uh, one of the other things I've discovered about myself, if you listen to the last episode called Kitchen Closed, I was focused on, okay, I'm going to work on my nighttime routine, because that's one area that felt really doable to me.

Like, okay, I can say, I'm done eating, not reopen the kitchen, not go back for something. But then what I found I was doing, you guys, which this is what I'm working, another thing I'm working on this week is, yeah, so I got really good at closing the kitchen, but then I was overeating in anticipation of closing the kitchen.

Like eating so much, I couldn't possibly want to open the kitchen, that type of thing. So. So.  Anyhow, it's a work in progress, but I still like that because it goes along with my power habit, which is the one habit I pick to work on each quarter. And this is assessing my plan in the evening, like really looking at, okay, how to go, how can I set myself up for tomorrow?

What do I want to do better? All that kind of stuff.  So that is going hand in hand, and I've hit that about 50 percent this quarter, which is pretty good in the beginning stages of habit building. But I really want to escalate those votes I get in the bucket because the more I hit them, the more it's going to become ingrained in a part of a habit.

So, looking at Setting that up in my environment at night, too, right? I leave my planner on the bed I leave it open I come home and I assess and obviously if I don't do my plan in the morning like this week That's not happening. So it all is part of a bigger circle But again, if you're just like starting to plan or like live intentionally All of these habits I built over years, you know, so I work on one habit every quarter.

But honestly, I've had PM assessment as my habit for quite a few times. Back to my office space. It's one of the big things. So ask yourself, You're the hero of your story. You're right in this journey for yourself. What is one thing you could set up in your life to make your life easier this week? And it doesn't have to be something as elaborate of everything I'm doing from my office and this might not all happen this week, right?

So the water jug for example, I've got in my planner as a 1 percent action item order water jug So when I'm taking a shit, I can look on Arizona prime BPA free water jug. You know, I used to have one in the rig. That's why I'm thinking, Oh, that'd be great because I'll be sure the plastics clean and all of that.

But then I've got a full gallon there and I can just fill that up and dump it in. So it's a small little action I can take this week is to, to get it ordered. And if I don't do this, if I don't put future thinking in and think about these little steps I can take, I don't move toward that next version of me, right?

So as simple as this can seem, this is all part of me creating my next adventure and me setting up my office might not feel like that's part of me creating traveling Addy that travels the world running her own business, but it It absolutely is. It's all part of me figuring out how to show up for my plans and show up for myself even more and be my healthiest, happiest, highest self, right?

And it might not always be happy, but learning to sit in those emotions. Okay. So that's the first thing. The second thing I was like, you know, um, Millie and I, we really enjoy when we go to the gym and we walk the lap, the pool area. And now I'm picking her up three nights a week from band practice and two of the nights are early enough that we can hit the gym.

So I told her yesterday, I said, we need our go bags. So this can be something you can do too. You're welcome to steal this. But I like to have a car full of. Go bags. I have one bag for swimming, like competitive swimming, like when I'm going to go lap swim. I have another bag for just like walk swimming. I have a bag for gym working out, like going to lift, like tennis shoe gym.

Right, run on the treadmill, whatever. And then there's a bag for yoga on the go and then a beach bag. So  I know, I know some of these bags can be combined, but I like the go bag because it makes me feel very double 07. And um, she likes that too. Right. And I mean, let's be real. That's a cool name. It was a really good idea.

So I'm like, Hey, we need our go bags. Right. Like you always got to have a go bag so you can just go take an adventure. Cool. Like, what if I get a bug up my ass and want to just go to the North Shore and sit on the beach? Like, I want to have my stuff with me to just be able to go sit on the beach and do whatever.

What if you get a wild hare and want to go off on an adventure and  through some pumpkin patch and you don't have your pumpkin patch hat with you or whatever it is you need to make that adventure happen. How can you set your car up as an environment to be conducive for that? And I used to do, I did this back when I first started setting my whole life up.

And another part of that was having my food with me because I, in my job as a regional manager back then, I had traveled so much. I was at a different property all the time and I really struggled having my food with me. I'm experiencing a little bit of that right now, but I think again, that has changed with me taking this other position.

So as soon as I start setting Setting something up. It's like changing again. I'm like, ah, you know, and then doing the yoga teacher training was a very intensive amount of my time, right? 200 hours over four months. So it was a lot and I missed a lot of my prep time. All of that. I prioritized best I could, but.

You guys, I mean, I wasn't shiny spitting rainbows out my hoo ha. You know what I mean? It was  It was long. I am so grateful. I did it, you know setting up yoga Addy It was one of the first things I wrote down in when I did the artist way back in 2018 when it was like hey if you could come back and be anything you'd want I wrote yoga teacher And that just seems great to me, right?

Like, just be leading yoga all day, I'll be in my yoga pants all day, all of that stuff. Now that I'm through teacher training, and I took it more for myself to just be somewhere where I felt so good, and I'm so glad I took it, but also, I'm like, I don't, see myself being a full time yoga studio teacher. I want to ingrain this in what I do to help make it accessible.

Um, but also it was for me and for my practice, which is pretty much everything else I do. Just like the certification I did with Dr. Mindy Powell's this year about, um, fast, like a girl stuff, understanding women's hormones and menopause, all of that, that class was for me. I was like, I took it for myself.

Everything I've done on this journey, I've taken in some aspect because I've been interested in it, or it moves me toward one of these big life goals. So this setting up these things as silly as they may be having go bags in my car, right? Setting up my office. And the other thing I did for this week, this is the third thing is I just scheduled free group meditations.

In my sisterhood where I'm going to lead the meditation every day at 1230 at my lunch hour. I blocked my calendar, which it's already blocked for meditation every day, but it looks like I can make this happen this week. So I have to show up. I'm leading this, right? So I set up these invites for anyone in the sisterhood can have access.

And you guys, if you're listening to this real time and you're not in the sisterhood, you want to join meditation. Just, it's all free. Look in the links below. If I'm not doing this at the time you're listening, I don't, let's say it's five years from now and we're all doing some weird 3D meta thing and the links don't even work.

You just like say my name out loud.  Look in the show notes. I'm sure it will guide you on how to come and join and be a part of it. So I scheduled these group free group meditations where I'm going to lead meditation. I've taught almost a hundred people to meditate formally through primordial sound meditation.

But when I guide these 30 minute, I give a generic mantra. I still teach primordial sound, but it's not a personalized mantra, but people still come and get the experience of meditating together. And meditation is a practice just like everything else. Right. And it's, um, once you flex that muscle a little bit more and you kind of understand that, Hey, thoughts are normal.

When I meditate, I can do this anywhere. The great thing about a silent mantra meditation is that you can literally do this anywhere. You don't need anything. You don't need headphones. You don't need music. You don't need, um, some,  something in your environment. You just need yourself.  That's it. It's all you need.

It's just yourself. And that's the brilliance of it because you can tap into that space of that is beyond thought. Now I'm going to get too deep and it's going to become a meditation episode. You know how I am, you guys.  So these are the three things as I'm wrapping up yoga Addy and I'm creating my next adventure Addy, which is a three years out for me, right?

Millie graduates in 2027. So at that time, I've got this vision that's starting to build. I am watching House Hunters International cause I see myself traveling the globe, experiencing these places. I've never. Gone to. Especially being out in Hawaii. It's, you're really far from everything. Having two weeks of vacation time working for the man.

Again, I don't know why I want to be an entrepreneur again someday. The freedom of that to be able to say, hey, I'm going to go work in Scotland for 90 days. That's my big thing right now. My girls are ready to kill me because I send them a Scotland cow like every other day.  I'm like, Lexi, you need Scotland cow.

She's like, I do.  She's my, she's my kid that like needs a pet. She's a cancer. That's like one of their things, right? They're like a caretaker or whatever. And I'm like, yeah, you need one. You need one of these. Forget a dog. You need a Highland cow. It's another bonus to go on a school trip. Scotland with me, right?

And I just want to see the world and experience some of these places that I haven't been able to, but just like I did with the RV, I want to go and stay there for a certain amount of times, right? This is the big dream, right? You hear the excitement in my voice? The excitement isn't about getting skinny, but I will also do that because it's part of the vision of me being healthy and me being healthy.

And showing up for myself is what's going to get me to this other dream. So I have all these other little things I do along the way because I future self dream, because I do this me first process that I teach every quarter, right? I do this stuff. So as I'm building this vision, I'm like, okay, what are the little steps?

So I started walking, like binging house hunters international to like, and I've got a list of all the places I want to go live, like live for the 90 day visa. I can live and experience the world and just see.  Heck, I might not even like it, doubtful, but I'm going to find places I really love and some I could probably have passed on, just like when I was RVing.

Same thing, but I want to experience that and I want my kids to be able to experience some aspect of that. I want financial abundance. I want to pay off the debt I have, which I'm so grateful for. I don't say that with anything but gratitude. I think when we look at paying debt from restriction, it can be a very, very, Icky, gross, negative feeling, which can do the opposite for you, right?

It can do the opposite of bringing abundance. I want to do that from an abundance standpoint because, oh my god, it's so exciting that I could then have. What set up for myself? Like how much of a nest egg could I have set up? How much could I help Millie with school? How much could I have my kids come travel with me?

Like what would that look like? Because until you dare to think it's possible, you can't make it happen for yourself. So what if I sound crazy dreaming all this stuff? And so what if it happens? I'm sure that's what everyone thought when I said I'm gonna get an RV and travel the country, too. I just keep telling myself, you know, it's it's not you can create anything Anything you want in this world, you guys, and then you take it into the small daily action.

So I just kind of want to share that with you because I think me showing up and saying, Hey, these are the three things I'm doing this week. I'm arranging my office. I'm making go bags and I'm scheduled to schedule a meditation. How does that get me to Three years from now being this globe trotting entrepreneur possible author public speaker How does that get me there?

That would not seem like it goes in with it, huh? But it does because in that vision when I say, okay, what does that look like? What do I look like?  How how do I get there? How do I get my body there? How do I get my soul there my mind? What do those things look like? And these are all parts of it. Me going back to no BS and doing some of that work again, upcoming, getting a life coach, right?

Like adding these certain things in venturing into YouTube, getting better audio visual equipment, all of these things I'm able to do because I'm working for the man right now. Not that I couldn't do them working for myself as an entrepreneur. Absolutely. But I'm able to have this. Kind of flexibility with the money I'm making right now and the having to be in one location. 

It's not like I can't pick up and move right now, or I'm choosing not to, not that I can't, but I'm right where I'm supposed to be. Okay, I know that was a lot you guys, but as we're wrapping up Yoga Addi, we're heading into fall, I tend to really want to hibernate in the fall. Like, I, Go inside and there's some like, it's a Scorpio new moon right now, which is also about introspection.

Perfect week for meditation. If you're listening to this real time, get in the sisterhood, join us in meditation. If you're on my email list, I'm going to shoot that out today. Um, but I hope to be able to see you, uh, as sometime this week meditating, you'll just need to be in a quiet space. Just you. Okay.

Where you can maybe put some earbuds in if there's other people around you, but you want to be somewhere you can close your eyes and feel comfortable with it. So I hope to see you and we'll see what we come up with next week. We're back in creation mode. And I'm just grateful to have some mornings to sit and think and reflect and say me first.

So do the same for yourself, please. How can you put yourself Uh, first a little bit more this week. What does that look like to say F the man in your world?  All right, witches and bitches until next week's player out.