S3 Ep 190 How I Got My Motivation (and Mojo) Back

Whoop whoop! Slayer’s back and fired the F up after her 90-Day Planning Event — and she’s bringing ALL the behind-the-scenes magic to this episode. From coaching insights and vision breakthroughs to booking not one, but TWO live events (Honolulu + Phoenix!), she’s living proof that motivation follows action.

In this episode, she shares:

• How planning became her power habit again (even after 7 years!)
• Why your vision might feel foggy and how to fix it
• Her next big dream: in-person summer camp-style MEfirst events
• Why planning, not perfection, is the game-changer
• The power of showing your kids what’s possible through your own growth

Whether you’ve fallen off your habits or you're just getting started, this one will light you up and get your future self back in the driver’s seat.

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Free Visioning Meditation (goes with Ep 160 Unlock Your Future: Create Vision for Midlife Transformation)

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Transcript

 Whoop, whoop! Slayer in the house, witches and bitches! I have so much to tell you. Oh my gosh, where do I even start? So I skipped last week, we had our 90 day planning event on Saturday, and I should have just recorded for you right after because I was lit up and I was like, no, no, I'll do it the next day.

And then I didn't do it. So here I am. I need to fill you on that. My 90 day plan. My vision, what's coming up. We're also, by the way, doing a habit challenge in the sisterhood this week. And spoiler alert, my power habit is planning because in the event I had to have a little come to Jesus moment with myself.

When we're making habits, I always suggest if people don't have planning as a habit to make that their first habit, because it's really hard to make other habits if you're living life unintentionally. So I was like looking at my habits and you know, we write down our current habit stacks and my planning had just gotten so scattered.

I was like, oh my gosh, ed, I like for the first time in seven years, I have to make planning my power habit. It was like these small little quits over time added up. It was like I was sleeping in later. I haven't been sleeping well, right? Hormonal shit. You guys feel what I'm saying here. And so I would like sleep in, not get my pages and my plan done and just go into work.

And how much of that has impacted everything in my life, weight, my business? Showing up for myself a hundred percent. I was like, this is why I have to do these events. I was like for myself to see where like my life on paper, it's like when I look back and reflect or I say, Hey, where do I wanna go and where am I now?

And I get honest with myself and I take the judgment out of it, right? When I look and say, okay. This is my current habit stack. What do I want it to be? What is the thing that is going to impact me most to move toward this future self vision I created? And for me, it was planning. So I decided I'm posting my plan every day and I'm making a challenge of it because why not?

It's more fun when people do it with me. So. Jump on in if you're not in already and have fun. If you get in the, um, hop in the sisterhood and, uh, let me know if you need a planner and I can shoot you a link for the planner. And the habit trackers are at the end of it. And you can use the planner too if you want.

Why not? 90 day planner? It's a badass planner. So we start this 90 day event with creating our vision and. I've been talking about on the podcast where mine just hasn't felt clear. I just didn't know what I wanna do. And you guys, I'm so lit up. I've been getting so many signs about everything and you know, I'm in coaching too.

So I'm doing teacher coacher train, teacher coacher training. I'm doing lumia coaching training, which is the name of the company or whatever. Um, I liked them 'cause they had some kind of woo stuff in there. Um. In their speak, if you will, right. In their sales pages and stuff. Um, but I'm really liking the people I'm with and the practice we're getting.

And in, in the same breath, I'm, I'm doing that and I was here listening on one of their coaching calls, how they're talking about all the big people are investing right now in events because people want in person, they want community. And this is what's so special, even when we come together in the Zoom room to do the 90 day event.

Even though it's electronic, we are connecting with each other. We're bonding, we're talking. It's community. We go and meet each other in person. It's like we've always known each other and that's part of what's so special about our sisterhood is we can show up anywhere. I can't tell you how many of you guys I'll see like posting online around the country and I'm like, oh my God.

We all met through me going live on Facebook. It's just crazy to me and it makes me so. Freaking happy, and I wanna do that. I wanna create events where women come together just like I've been doing online, but I wanna bridge the gap. I wanna do it in person too. Which by the way, originally is why I left corporate America and bought the RV because I was gonna go out and slay all you bitches in my little RV doing workshops.

But then COVID hit. And nobody could get in front of each other. So I shifted to doing everything virtually and there's been so many blessings in that. But now I wanna get back to my roots. You know, if you guys re have been around a while, you might have heard me talk about summer camp. And what a big impact that had on my life and how I think all of us adults need summer camp too.

You know? And I always wanted to just create a summer camp and I kind of want the me first thing to be that, you know? And like when I do longer events that aren't just all about the planning. Maybe I do weekend and week long events that are about being, because like my tagline, believe, become, be right, like, who do you wanna be?

What do you want it to look like? So many of us struggle with even creating that vision because we get caught in the house and we like. Get shut ourselves down. Oh, I couldn't ever have that because, oh, that's too complicated. It's gonna take too much time away from my life. I can't do that. I don't have money.

My husband won't wanna do that. We have all the reasons in the world we can't do the thing our soul is calling us to do. And I guarantee we make it a hundred times more complicated than it needs to be. I know I do. So get this you guys, so. I have this vision and it's just been, it's been coming through the coaching and my visioning and seeing like my purpose and what do I wanna do, and I know it has something to do with me first.

And helping other women like get their heads outta their asses too. No offense if you're listening in your heads, in your ass. It's probably why you're here, right? Because you're like, oh, let me go listen to Addie having her head up her ass. That'll make me feel better. Yeah, okay. You can smile. It's all right.

So, you know, what could I do to really help and do this more and where and where I get lit up. And when you seek, where you get lit up, it's inevitable. Others are gonna get lit up too. And so I was like, it's always the in-person events and coaching. I mean, I get very, I'm very rewarded when people are like.

Some of the best work I ever did was really defining my future self with you or the, um, uncovering this and that, whatever it is we worked through. Just being like, nothing makes you feel better than having helped someone else tell me it isn't true. It is true. So I was like, so I have this vision and I'm seeing like I'm doing events and it's just feeling good and I'm coaching here and there, and it's all like, it's all what I do, right?

It's like just sharing, sharing my life, learning, sharing more. Getting up, getting better, helping other women do the same thing. And I was like, you know what, if I did an in-person event here in Hon Honolulu, just something small, and I had just done a little, um, made a video for work with my friend Kendra, who was my event planner for my property that I ran out here before I moved back to Arizona last.

And so I was like. You know, I'm gonna hit op and see if she'd be interested in like collabing with me. And so we went to lunch yesterday or the day before and just like brainstorm and talk. What would it look like? What would our target be? Where would we, where would we do this? I don't really have an audience in Honolulu, I don't think.

If you're in Honolulu. Call me, man, email me. I need you. I need you to come at my event. I need to know who you are and where you are. And um, you know, so we were kind of talking through that. And then boop, do, do, do you know I made my new, um, my new habit was planning. So I've been planning all week, getting back in my groove and my God, you guys, this process.

It's so good. I'm like, and I just like, literally one day I was like, thank you for this, because I really, it was just brought to me, the universe brought it to, I didn't create this, right. It's like bits and pieces that were brought to me from all over the place that I put in one space to take myself through.

This journey every day and this journey every 90 days and the journey every month in all of this, and just the gratitude I have for being led because it gets me back up over and over again. Having a place where I'm intentional about a my life and having a guide for being intentional about my life. And sure enough, I got back on that fucking horse and one weekend into planning and I'm shooting rainbows out my ass again.

I know you guys have heard me say this before, it's like. It is the game changing stuff, getting up and being intentional, meditating. I do my magic pages and then I go through my plan and, um, some days I don't do it all, but some days I get it all in and I'm, I'm like rewriting thoughts outta my head and I.

I am doing a, a card and reflection and I'm saying, Hey, what's gonna get in my way today and how can I overcome it? I am writing down my goals. I am like checking off habits. I making a food plan, I'm doing a timeline. I'm being intentional with how I'm gonna show up in those timeline, all of this in like five to 10 minutes.

Right, because the guide helps me keep it in order and moves me through the process quickly, so I'm not like mixing, missing all this little magic stuff that I found made such a big difference. So I've been going through this all week and I get to. Uh, yesterday I was sitting here and I was like, planning, planning, planning.

And I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna plan my month. So I plan July, and then I was like, oh, let me plan August. And then I was like, oh, let me do September. I know you guys don't need all this information, but here you are. So I get to September and I'm like, oh, I'm going on that trip. I'm going to Dallas for work and I'm gonna go to Phoenix on the back end of it.

And then I was like, oh my gosh. The me first events that next weekend after our virtual planning session. And then I was like, oh my God, why don't I do one in person in Phoenix? And so I messaged Amy. One of my, um, my friends and we coach together, she's one of my clients, and I messaged her and I was like, oh my God, Hey, don't you have a um, clubhouse room over there, like, we can rent for this or, what's that look like?

So she looked up, they have this really cool club room and it's got a pool nearby. I am like, okay, this. Is perfect 'cause I get all the witches and bitches, whoever can get there, however many we can fit in that room. And we plan our little asses off. We dream big, maybe we do a little yoga, we breathe, we get our future selves, like our hearts are full, we're connected.

And then we go dip in the pool and we hang out in some floaties and we talk and we chat. And I don't know, where do people stay? Maybe they stay in hotels and everyone meets up and goes to dinner or hikes or who knows. You know, that's who the group is. So, um, and if you are. I have not been to any of my events and you're listening to My Voice.

You are that group, like anyone that finds my voice and you. It's always been this way. It's like six degrees of Addie. Like my friends would come together and then before I know it, they're all getting together. Together. I'm like, wait, you're my friend. You're not her front. It's like this with my childhood friends still to this day.

You know, it's like you are just all each other's people trust me. So anyhow, we're gonna do this September 20th, an in person event. And I was like, 'cause what does this, what do I want it to look like? Not what could it look like? Me knowing online business and coaching and all of that. What do, what is my dream?

What is my vision? And I see rooms of women just like meeting and getting empowered. And sharing the journey and being there for each other in the in-between spaces. When we can't be hanging out, we can't be at retreats forever or dreaming about ourselves forever, right? We have lives, we have things that we need to do, but how can we take that little space of time and create the most magic for our future selves as possible to where our 7-year-old selves, 80-year-old selves, whatever, are gonna look back and be like.

Aren't you so glad you did that? Me first shit, and that you still do that Me first. Shit, I can't imagine never not doing this stuff. This is going on eight years now of quarterly 90 day plans. I one, one time didn't do it. Oh my God. The whole quarter just went to hell. You wanna talk about regression and I do feel like.

I feel like physically I've had regression this year just with my weight being up and be just with my health in general and not being able to do the things I physically love to do. Just feeling frustrated with that. But you guys, I looked at it what this 90 day plan does for me. I just leave so empowered.

I'm like, look what I have done. I have set up this whole homeopathic treatment. I'm detox and mold. I've got, um, oh now I re-upped my Massage Envy membership, and I am doing, they have infrared light and this whole vibe. Room, sound room, and I did those yesterday. Oh my gosh. You guys want to talk about a noodle?

And I've been wanting to do infrared forever because it's so good for inflammation, cell rejuvenation, all of this stuff. You guys have seen this all over. You see those masks or whatever. And I've wanted to do it for my skin because I know it can really help heal. You know, especially when there isn't a flare up.

I'm like, I just don't know when. I never have a flare up anymore. I just feel like I constantly. Live in one, and so I am excited to be frigging excited about something in spite of. My face still looking like a red frigging tomato mask is on my face. It almost looks like an LED face mask. Like just the lights are like left, like it burnt my face or something.

That's what my face looks like. It's what it is, right? And like you wanna hide. It's like if you had a face full acne or something. Like, it's like mentally. That stuff can be as challenging as the rest of it. So seeing my future self, I'm doing this visioning work and I told you guys last week, I am, uh, doing this book Club Bitches with Francesca Amber, and we're doing the book visioning right now, which by the way, you can't buy in the US so I'm only listening on her podcast, but we're talking about the different types of visioning.

And how powerful vision is for your mind. So I've been practicing visioning not only my bigger vision of my future self and seeing that start to come together of just these groups of women across the country, like where we're just getting together. And it's just easy and it's fun and it's empowering and we're getting it done, but we're having, so it's like a big scrapbooking party.

My scrapbooking junkies out there. You will understand. It's no more fun than getting together with your stickers and your pencils, right, and getting back off that, off the computer a little bit and into that analog world, right, where we're just paper and pen and loving the feel of that and loving the connection we have with each other.

And, um, that's, that's what we're missing in this world so much is. Community, friendship. And when we hit the stage in our lives and our kids start to go away and it's maybe just you and the husband left in the house, God forbid, no, I'm just kidding. Or maybe just you. And what does that, what does that look like, you know, and how do you get those?

Dopamine hits if you're, you know, if, and maybe you're not even going into the office anymore. And what does physical touch look like? All of these things that impact our wellness, and they really think the health and wellness industry is going that route too. Right. Like really going to these other things.

We don't really talk about as much we do here, because of course we talk about all the, all the biohacking and witchy woo stuff on this station. But you know, a lot of people aren't talking about this and they're not looking for, Hey, what, how are my hormones affected by? Not having lunch with friends by not, um, hugging my kids by not having physical touch.

Like how much of that is impacting how I feel and how my emotions are affecting the rest of my body. I. So much stuff, you guys. So I'm doing this coaching training and it's, I'm like, oh my gosh. It's like, it's the me first guide in coaching, right? So the first part, they call these the hallway conversation that you start with your client, right?

Where. Where are you now? Where do you wanna be and what is getting in the way just to make it super simple, right? And it's in that overcoming of the obstacles that you get to the goal and really identifying those obstacles is key. And we do all of this at the event and in the, in the planner, like guides us through all of this.

So that's why it's kind of like self-coaching. And I told, um, I practice coach with, uh, one of my cohort buddies today and I told her, I said, I just. Feel like I suck at coaching. I feel like I sh getting coached. I mean, like I feel like I show up to get coached and I feel like I've tried to resolve everything already and I can't think of another problem or issue I wanna hack away at.

Because between my me first guide, my magic pages talking to you guys, I feel like I've like. Ironed out so much in my world, but I know there's more stuff in there. So I wanna get good at digging up what that is. How do I get better at that? What does it look like? And so we, we really had a good conversation coaching around that and like, not always needing to be right and being vulnerable.

And what does that look like when you open yourself up to looking at the true reasons? Behind the reason, right. And, um. Just kind of fun to look at. But like, so these hallway questions, I'm like, oh my gosh, that's, this is just future selfing, right? Which is what coaching is. Coaching. Coaching is a relationship between yourself and your coach working toward a goal and, and.

Uh, just holding space for that person to figure out how they are getting to the goal. Where I have been more of a mentor and I see myself doing a blend of this 'cause a lot of people will come to coach with me because of the me first process or because of transformation I've experienced that they want to experience.

And I think it can be valuable to lend my insight, but I think it's also. Way more valuable for the client to realize that insight for themselves. You know, and, and in the same breath, if someone else can see something clearly in me that I'm doing. I want them to tell me. So I'm never one to like just not tell a client something.

I see. Or observe if I can, if it's helpful in that situation. Right. And I want someone to do that with me too. Where was I going with this? So I had that practice coaching and that was good. And the other thing that came out of it was about this being mom time. Right? And this being like. You know, she goes, you waited to the whole last part of this to even talk about, you're talking about all your life and this stuff and what you're doing and events and your business and like it was like the last 10 minutes where we're talking about how you're there for your daughter and it's a couple years you're building this runway, but it's because you're there for your daughter.

And she's like, we didn't even unpack Mom Addie. And I'm like, well, I know it's just. Who I am and me being me that is pursuing all the other things is me showing her how to live. Me showing her how to achieve things in life. She wants to, right, like you don't put that aside because of your children, right.

You do it with. Them and you guys. Millie came to my event and loved it, was there and engaged for the whole thing. Made our goals, has our planners set up. And I'm like, you know how effing cool that is when you make something your kids wanna come to. Now I'm like, we gotta have mother and and kids. Event day, right?

Like, okay, bring your teenagers, like really like, probably like later teen years. Millie will be 17, right? So she's getting a little bit older, but she's been watching me do this forever and watching my life change. So that just made me feel so good, like. I'm doing something right that she, even though she sees how I'm struggling right now, she sees me getting back up over and over and how a valuable is that you guys like, rather than, I felt like there were so many times in my life where my mom just fell on the sword and didn't get back up.

I'm sorry, mom. I'm just gonna say it right, like I don't think I got to witness that. Getting back up. So as much, she was so very positive all the time, though. Maybe she just didn't have as many of the, you know, I don't, it was a different day and age too, where she couldn't just do her. But I felt like a lot of it revolved around, um, her relationships.

You know, and like in a good way. And my mom, I had a great childhood. My mom's fucking awesome. But I think like she gave so much of herself to those relationships and didn't really pursue herself really until like. That maybe even toward the end, you know? So I just want to be the example for my kids to pursue you and the rest will work out.

Oh my God, Amy, if you're listening to this, I meant to tell you in our coaching session, because when you're struggling with vision and not be clear, like the thing you focus in on is just making yourself. The best, happiest, healthy version of yourself you can be. That's it. You don't worry about, like when you're struggling with purpose, they say you just get yourself healthy.

You just make your life the most badass it can be. And your purpose is going to come to you, right? It's gonna come through this evolution of your healthiest, highest self. And I think that's something important for us all to remember. Are you pursuing you? What is your healthies, healthiest, happiest, highest self?

Look like. What does your highest self have to say to you? Have you asked her lately? You know, where are we? Where do we wanna go? What does it look like? What's gonna get in the way? Oh man, you guys, I feel like it's so much other stuff to tell you. Oh, planning. So, I mean, I'm planning my power habit and lo and behold, I go in my, um, PO podcast player and I'm part of No BS with Corinne Crabtree where, um, I started back in 2018 losing my weight with fit and fat.

Right? And so I'm back in it. I've been for like over a year now, and I love just having the good stuff to put in my ear. I usually listen to Corinne coach people and sometimes some of the other coaches, but I just love, I always pick up something and she always drops some wisdom bombs. But the today or yesterday, whenever I was listening, I was like, you know, I'm gonna listen to, um, one of the courses or whatever.

And I, and planning was right on top, I'm like, oh, this is perfect. I'm planning. Let me see if I can get something to like, solidify my commitment or just kind of bring to you guys even. And, um, she's, there were a couple things in there that I was like, oh, God's so good. Right? And she talks about planning.

Like, 'cause people really struggle with planning and doing like a 24 hour plan of this not only being important for yourself to plan your food or yada yada, whatever, but it's how you tell yourself you're gonna show up for yourself to take care of you, to take care of yourself emotionally. Physically, mentally, like how does that all happen in a day?

It doesn't happen if you don't sit down and think about it ahead of time. It just doesn't, life happens, right? So making sure that you, you have a plan so that your priority in your life. And the other thing, the other thing she was talking about that has come at me in 20 different ways, not just on the podcast, but um, she was talking about motivation and how motivation doesn't.

Come from doesn't come first, motivation comes from doing and I'm like, oh, yes, yes, yes. Because I am lit up. Like all get out, right? Like after this vision, after this plan, after my daily plans, after like now things are just coming to me again and how much of that is because I am taking action and the motivation is following that.

So sometimes you just gotta do it. And that came up. Uh, Amy, if you're still on, if you're listening, when you brought that up, I think that's your thought for the week, right? I think this is all of our thoughts for the week. Just do it. Just get yourself up and do it. I asked Amy what her, um, past self, we looked back at the past.

I'm like, what wisdom does she have? When she was getting up and going to bootcamp every day, she didn't think about it. She just did it. She just got up. She stretched, she put her stuff on and she went. Just do it you guys. So whether it's whatever that habit is you're working on, remember you can only work on one habit.

You can't work on too many. Your brain is not gonna have it. You get, we think we're gonna do this and you're not. This is why there's a power habit. There's one habit. You work on that one habit for 90 day, 90 days. 66 days on average to make a habit. It doesn't have to be cons consecutive, as many votes in the bucket as you get, you're on your path to becoming that person that does that thing.

And those things are what make us be that person that shows up in that way. We want our future self to be so first, what do you need? You need to know where you're going. What does it look like? What does she wanna do? Her your future self? Does she lift weights? Does she make a food plan? Does she food prep?

Does she meditate? Does she go in nature? Does she hike? Does she own a business? Does she hang with her kids? Does she play with her friends? All of these things. What does it look like? And then we say, okay, where are we now? How do I show up in the world now? What do my habits look like now? What does it look like from when I wake up till I go to bed?

I wake up and I meditate, and. Maybe I go on my phone and then I get ready and I go to work. Like, what does your day look like and what do you want it to look like? Breaking it into habits, into action items really helps you see, Hey, this future person I. Does these things. She lift weights, she meditates, she does her plan, she does yoga, she does all of these things.

But I'm over here just barely getting out of bed and getting in Facebook in the morning, and yet I think I'm gonna just become this person. Tomorrow isn't gonna happen, right? So you pick one thing, and again, just like I had to tell myself in my little, come to Jesus at the event, if you don't plan yet. I highly recommend planning because that's how you are intentional about your day and you know, no bs She keeps it simple, right?

Like, just make yourself a food plan. Just make it doable. Just make it your showing yourself that you're gonna show up. Now if you get the me first guide and you come in sisterhood, the me first guide's a lot. There's a lot on this plan and there's a reason for it that explained in the beginning of this video, right, or this podcast, but you know, you don't have to do it all.

This is part of the perfectionism that stops us from action. You don't have to fill out every line like you do you, right? You can do one page, you can do half of it. You can do none of it. You can. Write on your own journal paper for all I care. It doesn't matter, right? Like just being intentional about your day will change the game for sure.

All the other stuff does too. Of course. Like, but like you can compound it by doing everything else, right? But just starting to be intentional about your day if, if you haven't done that yet. Game changer, right? And then you start to layer in all the other things. Maybe you wanna learn to meditate, maybe you wanna add in journaling, maybe you wanna, maybe you wanna add in lifting weights, you know, like it can look however you want it to look like.

But the thing is, we gotta start dreaming about what we want it to look like and assessing where we are now. Removing judgment so that you don't get it in the world of, fuck it, eating and everything. Oh, I can. I can never be that person. I'm so fat and I gained 70 pounds back and I'm a loser. Not like my brain could go there so easily.

You just never let it go there. It's not going there. I'm moving forward. I lost weight. I can do that shit again. That's easy, right? Like what does this look like? Me creating this version of myself that is healing from mold, toxicity, hormones, everything else going on, once I get this resolved, the food and all of that's just gonna come into place and it all happens.

Me doing the plan and getting up over and over again. All right. That's it for this week, you guys. I hope you got anything in there to inspire you this week to dream big, create your future, come practice habits with us in the sisterhood if you're not already, and, um, hope to see you in there. All right, love you guys.

Play out.