S3 Ep 191 Slayer 3.0: Alter Egos, Visioning & Reclaiming the Fire

 Slayer’s BACK in her full summer Pitta-powered glory — and this episode is a ride through alter ego land, future-self badassery, and reclaiming your fire. Inspired by a listener (shoutout to Deb a.k.a. Solera Crankfire), this episode dives deep into how to bring your superhero self to the surface and stop waiting for motivation to show up.

She gets real about the power of alter egos (and why Slayer still works), mental toughness, and the two keys to success from Brooke Castillo’s latest fire drop. You’ll hear Slayer's take on her current health journey, rebuilding from burnout, and making the small daily choices your highest self would make — like ordering groceries from the pool. 💁‍♀️💦

Spoiler: the in-person event in PHOENIX is officially on for the weekend of September 20th! So grab your planner, define that badass version of you, and let’s get to work.

🕓 Timestamps + Tea:

00:00 – Intro + Listener Shoutout
Deb aka Solera Crankfire reignites Slayer’s love for alter egos. Yes, podcasting can feel like screaming into the void — so hell yes for those messages.

01:30 – The Power of the Alter Ego
What is an alter ego? Why should you care? How Slayer came to life and what it’s time to evolve into next. (Also: listen to Episode 9 & 159 for the OG alter ego deep dives.)

03:34 – Visioning and Future Self Vibes
Batman visioning, Slayer’s woo-tech dream studio, and the mind-magic science behind visualizing who you’re becoming.

06:48 – Embodying Your Highest Self (Even When You Feel Like Crap)
From breaststroke brainstorming to poolside grocery orders — Slayer shares how she catches sabotaging thoughts and rewires them for badass action.

14:39 – Mental Toughness + Work Ethic = Badass Fuel
Inspired by Brooke Castillo’s “Be a Badass” series, Slayer breaks down the two traits every successful badass has — and where she's doubling down.

21:29 – Define the Damn Problem
What’s actually standing between you and that future you? Slayer breaks it down: obstacles, perfectionism, commitment, and planning.

28:15 – Upcoming In-Person Event (!!!)
PHOENIX. SEPTEMBER 20. Planning, floating, dreaming, hiking, vibing with your people — it’s happening. Message Slayer for early deets.

💬 Want In?

👉 Be the first to know about the Phoenix event – email slayer@namaslayer.com
👉 Grab the MEfirst Guide + join the Sisterhood – let’s build that badassery one habit at a time
👉 Follow Slayer on IG or Facebook @Namaslayer for live rants, habit hacks, and real talk

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Transcript

 What's up, witches and bitches! I'm so happy to be here with you today and to be feeling a little more myself. I can't wait to share with you just all the inspiration that's been flying my way, but first I wanna shout out to Deb Lady Mom. You know who you are on Instagram because she'll send me messages every now and then as she listens to the podcast.

And I can't tell you, first of all how much I appreciate that. Sometimes podcasting can be a lonely business, you guys. So you can imagine, right? Like you're talking to this microphone, you put it out into the ether, and then what? Crickets. Right? So when you guys respond to me or I know you're listening or something hit home for you, it just really gives me mojo to keep going, right?

But she messaged me this week and said the episode, um, she said, I'm starting your whole broadcast over again. I've been in a slump. And that led me to cocoon and eat. I don't know why I get that way, girl. I hear you. Hello. The last frigging year. You've been watching me with my head on my ass. Okay, sorry, back to Deb.

I don't know why I get that way, she said, but I'm up today and I already walked and had my water. Thank you for your show. I need you. This episode you're talking about right now that I'm listening to on my Walk is about creating your alter ego. I use Chat GGPT to get myself a superhero name based on things I like to do, and my superhero name is Solera Crank Fire.

I just love that so much. I wanted to share it with you guys, and also it brings me back to revisit the power of the alter ego, and this has come up. Three separate times this week. First with Deb's little message. Love you girl. Thank you so much, and thanks for listening all of you guys. I can't thank you enough.

Especially I think at this time that it's felt like, oh God, it just has felt really like hard. Like I'm not like, what am I doing? Type of thing, right? And just feeling a little bit lost and being able to come here and share here and still. Have you guys have takeaways I know has been really powerful? So, back to the alter ego.

First of all, the episode you can listen to on this podcast, episode nine, really goes into creating your alter ego and what all is involved in that. So if you have not listened to episode nine, highly recommend it. I think it's even called creating your Alter Ego. Like to keep it super simple around here.

And then episode 1 59. I dive back into that a little bit and I think it's throughout this episode a little bit more, maybe as I'm talking about future self. But the alter ego is a whole nother level of that, right? Slayer is my alter ego. And the three times it came up for me, I was being coached by one of my co my peers, and I might have told you guys this last week, but um, she started the coaching trying to ask me.

My superpower and if I was a superhero, and I'm like, oh, well yeah, I got this shit. So I start and she's like, no, not your alter ego, you. And I'm like, what? Well there is no separation anymore. I'm like, I have become slayer. And in that realization I was like, you know, I need another alter ego. It's time to develop her a little bit more.

So I'm gonna get to that 'cause that's gonna. Get into some of the badassery and defining my three year badassery and, and where I'm going with this. So it came up there and then it came up when I was doing the visioning with France, Francesca Amber we're listening to this book that the woman that wrote it is like the visioning expert for Nike, right?

She's like this big scientist that helps athletes in their brain training and CEOs and all these, all these people that are like. Really disciplined with their mind work and their thought work. And she, in this, when we're talking about visioning, she's talking about the, the, she calls it the Batman vision, like this version of yourself that is so beyond the norm that is like.

Superpowers, right? So when I created Slayer, I mean, Slayer's got a layer that's like a, a kind of like a bat cave, but it's really woo too, right? It's got like lakes and trees and vines and, but like computer, like studio equipment everywhere. She's recording, she's. Broadcasting all the magic to the world.

She's shooting heart sing out of her hands. She's got a sword and she's slaying some goals and she's slighting some bitches up. You know, this is slayer. And you can see how I've taken on aspects of that within my own self, right? And part of it already was me, but in creating the alter ego, it really gives you the freedom to think.

Beyond your current self. And this was always part of the challenge, envisioning and defining who and where you wanna go. And so, you know, between Deb talking about it, having in the coaching thing and then it coming up again in this visioning thing, I'm like, okay. It was also. The first course I ever made was a superhero course, right?

And then some people didn't jive with superheroes, so I renamed it to Alter Ego, and it's something we've done over and over again, and it's part of like when I get down to putting together what I really wanna put out in the world and the tools to help people, it's one of the most valuable. And it's when I'm coaching something I like to try to tap into if that person is open to that.

Open to kind of thinking beyond current circumstances, right? Like I really consider myself a future self coach, like helping us define where do we want to go? What does it look like? Like how do you get specific about what you want it to look like? This is something I've struggled with, and when I was 300 pounds, which, oh my God, I'm getting, I'm like, I'm closer to 300 than 200 right now.

That's crazy. When I think about it, I don't feel like. That person that was 300 pounds, though I'm not that version of myself anymore. I can't, I don't even know how to explain it. It's kind of like this, the weight is perfunctory. Is that the right word? I feel like I need to Google that fucking word right now.

You know what I mean? Like it's just, it just is. This is something my body does when I'm out of alignment. It is crazy how my thoughts about the fat on my body have shifted, but also I'm not comfortable in this body and in this self. It's not who I'm meant to be. I'm meant to be my highest self. I was at the pool today and I recorded like just a couple little videos.

As I was sitting there, I was doing laps and I forgot my goggles. I was just doing breaststroke and kicking with the kickboard, and I was like, it is so fucking nice out here today. I don't wanna go. I was like, yeah, but you need to go. You got a grocery shop, you need to do a podcast. You got more coaching.

You got do do do, do dos, right? And I saw it come in you guys, and this has come from the awareness of being back to doing my plan. I saw it, I saw those thoughts and I was like, cool, wait a second. We know what to do with this. So I hopped out of the pool. I got my phone and I brought it over to the side and I sat there and I kicked and I ordered my groceries while I was in the pool.

And I recorded a little video that said, you know, my highest self decides to order groceries while she's in the pool so she can stay a little longer. And then I was like, you know what else? My highest self decides to book a massage and go to the pool instead of cleaning the floor. You know what my highest self does over and over again.

These choices we make with the time we have. Right. And it's not like I'm not wasting shit loads of time watching Netflix, right? There's that time too. But also I wanna be really careful. To not, to not deny myself that time, to allow myself that time. But for example, I really wanted to eat. I was hungry. My groceries got here, and I was like, you know what?

I not doing it this week. Ad first you can podcast, then you can make lunch. Because I know once I make lunch, I'm gonna watch a little show. I'm still gonna do some things while I'm watching. You know, I'm gonna be like cleaning up here and there, rolling the laundry. But it's not like the focused attention that I want to give the podcast, that future me that is this badass gives to this awesome.

Uh, thing I get to do, I dunno what's wrong with my brain today, you guys. It's called podcasting Slayer Podcasting, right? Like, how does future me in three years, that is this badass that I'm creating? How does she show up to podcasts? How does she show up to coach her clients? How does she show up to create?

Something for her group event. How does she show up to revise something in the planner or create a resource? Like what does that look like? How does she show up? Who is she? And she isn't the person that sleeps in in the morning. I can tell you that She's the person that gets up and meditates and does her plan and does her magic pages, and goes and gets out in nature.

Goes to the pool, and she comes here and she shows up to the microphone. She shows up, she shows up for these. Things that are the Reya, not the preya. Have you guys listened to a Shreyer Preya episode on my podcast yet? If you have not gone go back and listened to those episodes so much. Good stuff. This came outta one of my spiritual journeys down this book called Nap Penad, and.

Long story short, the path of Reya is that path of our highest self. This is the path that makes us feel good in the long run, but it feels much harder now. It's not the quick rewards. Preya is the quick dope hit. Give it to me. Now. The Netflix eating feels so good that your brain just wants to stay there.

That's comfortable, right? How do we get ourselves to be uncomfortable? And so I was really thinking about, I was listening to a lot of stuff this week. You guys, if you can't tell, like I know every coaching session I'm gonna have, they're gonna be like, can you just be, I'm like, no, I can't. It's pit of season.

Do you know what this means for me? Like. Ah, okay. Maybe you don't, so maybe I have to rewind for you a little bit. Dear listener. So Ayurveda is a life science 5,000 year old life science, right? And you can go to, um, just Google, um, how to find out my dosha type. And there's three main dosha types pda. Kapha and Vata, and I'm a Pitta, Vata and I am a very strong, Pitta is kind of like this fire energy, this heat, right?

And summer is our season. And when I'm in summer, I'm, if I look back over the history of my life when I felt lit up, when I've actually like lost. Uh, like the 30 pounds in 90 days that I did a couple times. It's always in the summer. Okay. And at some point you can't deny your, like, how you are in certain seasons.

Once you start to know this. It's kind of like understanding your cycle as a woman, understanding the moon and understanding when you wanna hibernate. When you're in a cycle to produce and really do work and when you gotta turn it off a little bit or you're just gonna go inside, and that's the fallen winter for me every single year and I tried my best to plan for it and I still suck at planning for it, but summer.

I'm gonna grab the summer, you guys, if you feel that energy, grab the energy. And if you feel like you're in, you wanna hibernate right now, honor yourself and hibernate a little bit. But while you're hibernating, and I did this right, I'm, I'm focused on really loving myself and what can I do in this hibernation, in this time that feels so uncomfortable to love myself?

And perhaps move the needle forward a little bit, even in this hibernation versus summer, Addie. Holy shit man. We're creating all kinds of stuff up in here, right? Summer Addie is like on fire. She is slayer in full uniform. You know what I'm saying? Okay, back to this three year self and badass and these other things that have come, been coming in from listening.

So the Life Coach School with Brooke Castillo. You know, guys know I'm a huge fan and she had been on a hiatus. And she came back and she's dropped a few episodes recently. So if you haven't been listening to her podcast or if you've never listened, I can't recommend it enough. I can't tell you how much of my transformation I owe to listening to Brooke Castillo and Corrine Crabtree.

Um, just the mindset stuff and applying it to my life. Has totally, completely changed my life. Both of those women and both of their podcasts. And I would start at the beginning, it's like Life Coach for yourself 1 0 1, right? Like it's just gamechanging shit. And so she dropped some podcasts and she's doing a three part series on.

Be a badass. And I was like, oh, well this is for us over here at the Badass Ery Podcast. You know what I'm talking about? I'm like, these are for us. But she gets into it and she's talking about, um, you know, she's like made hundreds of millions of dollars, right? She's like at this level of success that people will come to her and say.

I don't know why I can't just be as successful to as you. I don't know how to do it. And she said, I really got thinking. She said she's looking around at all these other people around her that are ultra, ultra successful. And she's like, they're all bad asses. And she's like, I've really been thinking about what defines it.

And she's like, because of course I just wanna help other people get to this point where they can be a badass too. If they wanna be a badass. I'm like, so I'm already a badass, but alright, I'll take it to. Badass number, level two. You know, let's go, Brooke. So she's talking about the two factors that all of these people have in common.

And this is spoiler alert. So if you don't wanna be spoiler alert, pause me, go listen to her and come back. So she says that. The mental toughness is the first thing they have, and I'm like, well, I've definitely got that. It, it, it is, taken me a little while to build it up and it all came through my awakening, shutting the guilt I think, of being a mom across the ocean.

Really helps me toughen that up so much because I knew what people were saying and I heard and I saw what people were saying, and yet I allowed myself to define what being the most badass parent in the world, not being in the same state as my child would look like, and we have. A great relationship. We have, I think, a foundation that most mothers and daughters don't have.

And it came from me saying, you know what? What if I say screw what everybody else thinks and how can I make this just for us? And I tell her all the time, I said, I don't care what anyone else thinks. I know you know me. You know my heart. This is what matters. What matters is what my kids think of me. What matters to me is what people that come and coach with me think, right?

What matters is, uh, these people, any people in my life that I really care about and know about me, they know who I am. They know that, um, I am here for love, truth, inspiration, authenticity. These are my core values, right? Freedom. These are what drive me, and also hopefully inspire my children, you know, and I want them to live their lives like.

They're living it, not that they're living it for other people, they're living it for themselves. And I wanna be that example of that. And when I shed the guilt about that because there was a lot of guilt, and it really helped, it really helped me learn to change my mind in a way to overcome, because those are really serious thoughts for me about being a mom.

You know, like being able to overcome. Those thoughts and really create this outcome of being a super mom across the ocean was such a frigging game changer for me, and it's repeated over and over, I mean. There was a point when the algorithms were nuts on Facebook and I'd get a bunch of trolls on my videos and stuff, and just that would say nasty things to you and things like that.

I think because I spent my whole life like growing up, like being taunted Addie Fatty on the playground, right? Like. That gives you mental toughness. Having a father that they had to cut the door out of the house to remove his body, you know, and all the kids in the neighborhood and what they're saying, like how to hold your head up when all of that's going on gives you mental toughness.

So I'm like, I have mental toughness, but I also think I can grow that. And I think there's areas in my life that I don't have it and I'd like to have it more, you know, or maybe not that I don't have mental toughness, but that, um. I wanna get better at, you know, like my financial part of my life, my love life, for example, non-existent, right?

Like first I gotta heal me, man, I gotta like feel good. I don't even wanna go out to dinner with somebody right now. So that's not happening. Much less hold somebody's hand, like get away. And besides, we're like, once we go through menopause, those hormones aren't even there. Okay, so she, she talks about being a badass, and I'm like, uh, and having mental toughness, I'm like, all right, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Mentally tough. And I'm like, what's the other one, Brooke? What's the other one? Right? And so she talks about being mentally tough and having really good work ethic. And, um, people will say this to me a lot, right? Like, I don't know how you do, you're doing all you do, right? Like. Having a day job and doing the business on the side.

And when I was really like building NAMA slayer, it was, it was just, my life was that, and I just loved it. And it was just part of, I had this vision and this dream and I believed and I showed up for it. Right? And it's like that work ethic and having the sustainability. To see that through. And so I've learned, I think so much about myself and that work ethic because I've seen, think, I've seen glimpses of it, but I see myself upper limiting and maybe you guys experience this too, and or self-sabotaging.

We do this with weight loss, we do this with relationships. We do this with business goals where. I've set this goal and I'm on this path, and then all of a sudden I just derail myself. And with my business, I've done it deciding, oh, I don't wanna do that anymore. I don't really wanna do that. Like worried I was gonna get pigeonholed into this thing and to doing this one thing instead of just rolling with it, doing it the best I can and riding it to the end.

And this is something like learning about myself, how to finish things and this is a perfectionist problem, right? Funny enough, I'm reading the book finish with my community managers right now, so I gave the, I bought them both this book and we're doing a little book club, so I'm sure that's gonna be coming up on the podcast perfectionism and just taking action and being able to finish something.

Seeing it through to the end. I still haven't written the book, you guys. I will write the book. Oh, oh, this is something else fun I was thinking about. So on Brooke's podcast, she announces the episode, right? She goes, episode 533. And I thought, you know, oh my God, who am I gonna be when I'm saying episode 533, you guys, this is like episode 190.

I'm a baby. Do you see what that opens up to my mind? When? What if at episode 530, I've figured out all the, what if I made a hundred million dollars by episode 530? Is it possible? It's possible. Anything's possible, you guys, until we tell ourselves that's not possible, it's in the believing of ourselves.

Right. And do we believe we have the capacity to do the thing, to lose the weight, to build the business, to go, you know, get a new job, to find love. Whatever it is, do we believe we can do it? And if we don't believe, why not? What are the obstacles? And this is what we do at, again, at the ME First Guide event, what I do every single day with myself, what will get in my way today?

What is stopping me from getting there? And I loved in Brooke's podcast 'cause the one she did after she defined those, she talked about obstacles and um, she said, you know, if you haven't defined the problem, you can't figure out how to get there. So to be able to be vulnerable enough. To find out what the problem is.

And this is why when they asked me at coaching school, they're like, why are you here? And I said, honestly, I want to know how to be more coachable myself. I want to know how to be more vulnerable. And then I start talking like, I'm trying to co get coached on this. And I'm like, but I feel like I'm my most vulnerable self here with you.

Like, what am I. What am I still not saying? What is holding me back? Where are these underlying beliefs and how do I get 'em out so I can start whack-a-mole in 'em? Right? You've got, we gotta see 'em and uncover 'em to attack them, right? Or to get to the problem. So if, for example, you know, let's say weight loss is the problem and you know what is getting in the way of weight loss.

Right. Like you have to like defining what the obstacles are. Right? Right now for me, flour and sugar, lack of food prep, lack of it being easy, lack of my commitment to it. I was talking about on a live the other day on Facebook, I said, and if you don't follow me on Facebook at NAMA Slayer, come over there.

I drop a lot of live video. They don't hold it anymore though. It's like, um, it's gone after 30 days. But, um, you know, I, I was just like. I am not committed. I know I'm not committed, like my goal for this quarter even, I'm still tracking my weight. I always do. I get on the scale, I assess and I move on and, but my goal is getting off flour and sugar and seeing how this cleansing of my body, of this mold and toxins in dealing with my allergies, how all of that's gonna go down.

And you guys, I'm making progress. My skin feels so much better and I'm doing so many things. I don't, I don't know what's working or if maybe it's just, it's a my better allergy season two. But thank God, I don't care. I don't even wanna. Think that thought. I wanna think I'm purging all of these things from my body and I'm doing visualizations of clean, healthy skin.

I'm doing infrared therapy, I'm doing mold detox with my naturopath. I've got all these vitamins and stuff I'm taking from my gut health. I am changing how I eat. I'm really focusing on an anti-inflammatory diet and paying attention to what flares me, and it's really shocking what. What flares me and what doesn't, and so I'm just like kind of working on all these things, but at the same time, really trying to paint this picture of my three year badass self, like three years from now.

500 is what will three years be? 530 podcasts. Who am I gonna be after showing up here for 300 more podcasts? Oh my gosh, no. How many years is that? Once a week. That's like six years. Oh my God. Who am I? That's just amazing. Right? And so looking at the three year self, because they say, you know, we underestimate what we can do in three years and we overestimate what we can do in a year.

And this is why when you come to a Mefi Guide event, or you do the visioning, we try to do a future self vision like three years or later you, you can choose really, it's totally up to you, but to pick something far enough out or pick an alter. Ego if you haven't been able to start to dream for yourself again.

So right now I have this big post-it, one of those wall post-its, you can write, you can put up on your wall, and I've got three year slayer up here. And what does she look like? I know she's got a Crystal Palace office. I just love apartments with floor to ceiling windows with like lots of windows, right?

And I see her sitting there at her desk with her microphone and it's. Like that energy of that future self place. It doesn't, it doesn't matter to me how big it is, where it is really, even necessarily, it's just more the essence of it. I can't explain it. It, it's gotta have some kind of view, you know what I mean?

I don't know if I even care what the view is. Like. I just need like some light in windows. I don't know what that's about, but um, I just have up here. How does she show up? Right. You know, video pods, she's talking, she's like doing all of these things. But then what does she have in place? What are those things she has in place?

And I know she's strong and I know she's eating clean, that she just feels good and radiant because that's when I'm just radiant and singing. Right. Like defining for yourself. What does that look like? And then what's the problem? What's in between you getting there? And that's what we solve for. It's like some algebra equation, right?

Like and then you have to get your mind out of, it's this big, huge thing to tackle because we could go easily to, okay, to go there. That's just overwhelming. Right. What is one little step I can take today? It's like my step, my health journey. I was listening to a podcast of mine from last year around this time, and I was getting ready to head, I was in Washington State and it was called, um, aging, like a Badass.

And I was talking about, you know, my plans and like how much of a difference that means, but I was still also like. Troubleshooting my health like all year. It's been how can I figure out what is going on to heal myself to just frigging feel good again and I'm finally, it's taken a year of plans and steps forwards and finding a naturopath, and this might not seem like.

Huge moves, but it was a lot you guys, like if you've ever managed some medical thing, it's a lot to keep track of. That alone, I feel like is a full-time job, right? And so figuring out where to focus for your highest, healthiest, happiest self and to just go all in on you, what does it look like if you go all in on you?

I'm gonna leave you with that this week and, um, more news coming soon. We are going to plan in person in Phoenix the weekend of September 20th, and we're trying to hopefully get a location that's gonna be near the Hilton on seventh Street over there, because I think it'd be fun to the next day do like a breakfast and a hike.

Like all of us just hang out like casually, you know what I mean? But like Saturday. Be the day we get down and dirty and get, get, just have so much fun dreaming and plotting and planning about our future self. So I'll have more information about that out soon. And meanwhile, I love you guys. Thank you for listening and go off and be a badass.

Let me know how you define being a badass and if you listen to this, I love to hear from you. So thanks so much for those of you. That, uh, reach out and engage and, uh, it's, it's really appreciated. And for you, those of you that don't and just like to listen in, I love you too, man. All right. Until next week, you badass witches and bitches.

I love you to pieces slay around.