S3 Ep192: The Fork in the Road — 3 Signs You’re Ready to Change (and How Visioning Will Save You)

What if the life you're living now… is the reason your future self is screaming, “WTF are you doing?!”

In this raw, real, and fired-up episode, Slayer takes you on a walk down both sides of the fork in the road — the path where nothing changes (aka the soul-crushing same-old), and the one where you finally say yes to becoming your future self.

You'll learn:

• 🚨 3 signs you're at a major turning point (hint: your soul might be banging on the inside of your fat suit 👀)
• 🔮 Why reverse visioning is just as powerful as dreaming big
• 🧠 How to use your mind to rewire your reality (and get your head outta your ass daily)
• 🔥 Real talk about health struggles, food, burnout, and getting your spark back
• 💫 The power of emotional visioning, alter egos, and badass identity shifts
• 🧭 How to use “Preya” vs. “Reya” choices to create your aligned future self

Plus, a sneak peek into the upcoming in-person MEfirst event in Phoenix this September — packed with planning, pool hangs, and future-self magic. 🎉

If you’re tired of going through the motions, this episode is your permission slip to stop settling, start seeing, and slay forward into your next chapter.

Resources & Mentions:

• Visioning book club + inspiration
• “Preya vs. Reya” — search Slayer's pod archive for deep dives!
• RSVP for the Sept 2025 event (details coming soon in the Namaslayer Facebook group!)

✨ Leave a review. Share with a witchy bitch. And remember: Your future self starts f*cking now.
 

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Free Visioning Meditation (goes with Ep 160 Unlock Your Future: Create Vision for Midlife Transformation)

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Transcript

  What's up, witches and bitches? I have had. This come at me several different ways this week. What I wanna share with you here today, and it reminds me back of when I was younger and I remember just being so terrified that I would never leave my little town of Essex, Phil, Michigan, that I packed up in the middle of the night and told my mom I was doing laundry and took off.

And I ended up moving to Arizona and all of this stuff. And, um, I've just kind of always, I, you know, I know we're modified mo modified, we're motivated in some aspects by. The negative side of things. And so I'm doing this visioning book club that I've been sharing with you guys and she was talking about reverse visioning and I'm like, oh my God, how powerful.

And then I keep seeing these ads from some, I don't know, life coach out there and she's like, you know what? My one fear. Was like to be on my deathbed and not having done the thing, and I'm like, yes, sister. I feel that completely in my bones. Do you guys feel me? Like it's like that? Am I ever gonna lose the weight?

Am I ever gonna write the book? Am I like you just. Get sucked up in life and life keeps happening to you. And so part of what we do here, right? Like me first, midlife, badassery, we're creating that future self vision, stepping in that part of ourselves, that daress to do something different and, uh, achieve the things that our big dreams for us, right?

Or hell at least try, you know, I think it's so easy, like when, especially if I'm feeling shitty, it, it's like getting back up. And so I was talking about this in, uh, with a couple people in my coaching group today, and I just offered up this exercise, like, let's take this week and really vision that fork in the road.

You know, like what does it look like if you go down? The path where you are currently, that if you don't make a change, what does that outcome look like? And really see it, experience it, close your eyes. Like if you don't change anything, what is you? What is your life gonna look like? Your body, your mind, your soul, your spirit.

What does it feel like? And do you wanna keep perpetuating that? Right? You don't even have to go there. Just vision that. And then we're gonna on the other side, the other fork of the road you're gonna vision if you do make the changes, what does it look like when you make that change? I've been using this this week in a few different ways.

So one of the things you guys know, I've been going through this with my skin, like flared up eczemas all over my face. Dealing with inflammation and I'm doing a lot of things to attack that inflammation through food medicine, supplements. I have a lot of mold and toxicity in my body. So working on flushing all of that out and also working on my mind.

So I'm loving this visioning because it's reminding me the power of this, right, the power. Of our minds to create whatever we want just in our minds, and it's how you become. So I wanna share with you guys also to remind you why visioning is so powerful and why you should just do it. Like closing your eyes, you guys, one, two minutes a day and seeing yourself go through the process, seeing an outcome, having, there's.

All different types of visualization, right? And today, of course I'm talking about seeing that path where you don't make the change. But don't forget to take the time to see the path where you do make the change because it's so powerful. It rewires your brain. So we talk about this in life coaching, right?

A lot of you guys have found me through like we've been no BS Women together, fit and fat with Karen and Crabtree. So we're very verse. In thoughts, create feelings, create actions, and your results, right? So we're understanding this, that our minds are wiring what we're seeing in the world. And so having the power of something, another way to do this, other than writing thoughts out, which I also do every morning, right?

I do a vision, I have a thought I'm working toward, and then I have where I am now and I have all this shit thought that's come out. And then I rewrite those. And part of what's so powerful of that is. Every day, I'm re rewiring those thoughts in my brain. But think if you're doing this from visioning, how much faster, how much more powerful it is, if you can close your eyes because you're seeing yourself, you're seeing yourself.

A animated right. You're seeing yourself walking, talking, being like her. You know what's really fun is we're, I'm planning this event in September and it's gonna be in person in Phoenix if you can make it out. Oh my gosh. We're just gonna have so much fun. So we have this clubhouse we're gonna use and um, we're gonna get together and plan all day Saturday and then Sunday.

I think Minnie Slayer and I are gonna. Staycation at the Arizona Grand and they have like some fun pools and you know, all of that stuff. And I figure whoever's there will just hang at the pool, have an amazing girls' day, and just hang out and talk about our future selves. And there's nothing I like more than hanging out with women that love to like dream big and start to believe in ourselves and things we can do.

It just gives you an extra energy and that support going through it, you know? So anyhow, so talking about. Visioning. All of that and like animating yourself to see it. So I'm like seeing these events coming up. I'm seeing myself in this body and how much fun and this energy that I'm bringing to what I'm creating in the world, right?

And I'm seeing my body, I'm seeing myself nourish myself. And I was really thinking this week about. When did I feel so good? I remember feeling so good in my body and I would go on Facebook and I'd be like, oh my God, you guys, I can't believe this. I just feel so fucking good. It's like my body is just whatever I was feeding it, I could like feel it processing it like it just needed this food and it's when I was.

Eating to my ome. So OME is a gut health test, right? And I recently had one through my doctor, but they don't give you specific food. So I'm gonna have to order a OME again because I can't tell you what a difference I felt in my body when I was consuming those foods and really getting back in that food prep, all of that.

And so, but my future self vision, someone else that prepares that shit for me. So I'm working on my kid now. I got a 16-year-old. I'm like, okay, maybe she's the vision. I'll let you know how that goes. But you know, we like to food prep together. So it's, it's an angle I'm working on. So, part of visioning, it activates this energy PS right?

It, we have this activating system within us that filters information and it. Notices what is important to us. And so if you can start to clearly see your future self, whether it's um, just like, even if your, your biceps get more toned, or like me seeing myself swim at the pool. Oh my gosh, you guys, I'm day two back at the pool today.

I chose to swim laps because. Yesterday, Millie and I walked for three hours in the pool and my hip is killing me. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna swim laps today and it'll be faster. Like I'll get a little more bang from my buck. So I swam like 40 laps and I am. And for me from swimming world, that is like normally nothing you guys, but I am so tired.

I had to take a nap. I almost couldn't come here and podcast with you guys. So I'm like working this into my vision, right? Like swimming, Addie, clear skin. Addie, I see my skin like, and I see myself walking by. Like the, the, the me that is inflamed and reacting to things. She's eating things with bad oils, with candy bars.

Like with, I really, really notice I'm getting inflamed with this stuff and it is inflammatory and part of it is so great. I was talking to Rio today and I was like, you know, um, it, it's so easy when we know like that. We have to do it. Like you're, you're getting, you have to get your gallbladder out 'cause things are so bad.

So you've gotta change your diet, right? Like how do we get ourselves to that point? So this reverse visioning, seeing yourself if you don't do something like what happens, like sickness is inevitable if we don't. Care for our bodies. Right? And sometimes even when we do, but we want to be sure, like do everything we can.

If you haven't heard me talk about Prey and Reya in this episode, yeah, go search that in your podcast player. I'll try to link 'em below for you, but. You know, the fork in the row, the, the path of reya, that choice that serves our highest self takes us out the other side and the path of preya that leads us down the dark and dirty, right?

The Netflix and all of that stuff. And so when we vision, it shifts our identity. It's just like creating your alter ego, that alter ego, badass, that, that is who I'm becoming, right? Like I. Am slayer, I am the one that gets up and daress to get up and share no matter what and slash my goals left and right.

And there might be times that like, you know, all superheroes end up in a dark spot. Sometimes they have to, to be able to rise again. So anytime I'm going through something like that, I'm like, oh man, I'm in my. Superhero dungeon right now. Like, let's, let's get out, let's get in the layer and get tinkering and get figuring something out.

And you guys, I am day 20 solid in on doing my me first guide plan. And I gotta tell you, this shit's fucking genius. Like, and I. I don't, I'm the co-creator, right? Like everything that is in the guide, that is in this process, that helps create your future self and make you live it now and have these experiences where you keep learning and do something new and create new pathways in.

Brain. All of these things were just things that I did on my journey that were brought to me from all different places, and I put in one location because yours, trulys brain is all over the, if it was left to me to remember to do all these things every day, it wouldn't happen. Like the visioning and rewriting my thoughts and asking myself what obstacles there are and like.

It's easy to say, oh yeah, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna do that, I'm gonna do that. But when you have something that guides you through doing it and you actually write your head outta your ass every day, game changer. Okay, I just had to share that with you guys 'cause I'm really excited that I'm back in my groove.

But, uh, back to visioning. So you visioning also like it taps into this emotional part of us, right? And we know that is what manifests things. So if everything's energy, if I just need to feel. Like the person that is lit up singing from mountaintops, hallelujah. You know, this is me feeling my heart burst open.

Like that song from The Greatest Showman, right? This is me. And like just that feeling that you get from that. If all I have to do is envision that feeling to create that result in my life, if that is the feeling and the emotion, the more and more I practice that, the more and more I'm bringing it to myself and the universe is gonna start bringing me cool different things.

So I was talking to my coaching group, I'm like, you know, sometimes. Just getting back up and doing the same thing we used to do isn't enough. Sometimes we need to change it. Sometimes you need to do something differently. And as I was thinking about this fork in the road, I'm like, how do you know when you're at this fork in the road when it's time to make a DA different decision?

Or if, um, how, how do you just. Know that you need to shake it up a bit. And so I was screwing around with chat GBTA little bit, and I'm always like, Hey, how do you know when you're at this fork in the road? And so it gave me three signs. You're at the fork in the road, so we're gonna break these down. So if you keep saying, I can't keep living like this.

Oh, right. It's like even if you're not saying it out loud, even if you're shoving it down with the food, with the Netflix, with the booze, with pretending to be fine with just blowing it off, doing the rat race like this is your, and when I used to talk about being in my 300 pound ball of misery and it was just my soul in there pounding on the walls.

Get up. It's time. It's time to do you. It's time to be you. It's time to live authentically and find your voice and put it into the world. That's how I like when I was on the other side of it, I was like, oh my God, that was just my soul in there. I just wasn't listening to her. And so often to me, I know when I'm wearing my fat suit, she's in there banging.

She is like, bitch kid, this isn't what you're here for. You are made for so much more. Get your ass up. Right. So that might be you, is that you, like, I can't like your soul's in there. Like, fucking get your ass up. Right? The other, the second one they said was, everything feels off even the good stuff. And so we were talking again with my, my client.

Rio. Rio. You know what, what up girl? So we were talking about this like, you're doing the things and it just not feeling as good as it used to. Right. You're checking the boxes, but it's feeling meh. You're restless, you're out of alignment, like you're wearing someone else's damn life. That is your future self.

Like, Hey sis, I'm over here. Let's f and go. Right. So this is the fork. You can stay comfy, you can keep doing this thing, or you can get uncomfortable and start to say, what if I dared to think differently, eat differently, be differently, see myself differently? What would that look like? Do dare to even dream to believe that you can.

Seeing it daring to vision it. How many people are scared to envision it because they just think they can't. It is not going to hurt you. Spoiler alert friends, it's not gonna hurt you to envision yourself at your most bad assery. Your most bad assery, your most badass self. This is where Slayer came from.

This is why the ultra ego, because so many of us women struggle with this, struggle with being able to see ourselves as that badass version. Everyone else can do it, but we can't do it. Right. I've failed over and over again. So what You keep failing over and over again. You know where success comes from is failure.

A million failures. Doesn't matter how many times you get up while you're trying to lose weight, while you're trying to create a business, while you're trying to, it's the point that you are trying, that you are moving forward. Yeah, so just think about that. Do you wanna stay comfy or you ready? Get the fire lit under your ass a little bit.

It's all in you. It's all up to you. And how are you know? What does that look like? What does it look like? And this is again what we do at the me first events, you guys, we build the vision, we build the dream, and it's game changing. People that come and like get started on this, like start to put this process into their life, you feel the difference when you're not doing it.

Okay, and here's the third one. Um, our buddy chat came up with you're feeling challenged. Hard as fuck. So your, your health issues, breakdowns, burnouts, relationships, imploding. It's not random. It's initiation. Life is shaken the tree because you've outgrown your current branches. So you can shrink and retreat, or you can grow and transform and it's your choice.

Oh man, if this doesn't sing to me from these past year and a half, right, the health issues, the burnout from work, the all of this, allowing myself to be a victim of it until I got my head outta my ass. Right, and you've been here for it, watching it. So all of this to say you guys power of visioning, of creating your future self, of seeing it, of rewiring your brain, activating that inner guidance system, getting that emotion going in.

I am picking up all these little things as I'm going along, either learning from life coaching school. Um, you know what I'm really putting in my newsfeed now and what I'm listening to my podcasts, I'm, I've added in a lot of like, manifesting things. So look at the things you're putting in your head, what things interest you, right?

And I don't mean like watching celebrities do shit. I mean, like what interests you as far as creation? Like as far as learning, like what is it? Maybe it's something artistic or maybe it's something like you're really dig hearing someone talk about human design or you're like love talking about taking big adventures and traveling and are you in groups that support that?

Are you following like, I wanna go to like Scotland, England, and all of that? So I'm in all of these groups that I see people post these pictures all the time and this is how New York City happened this year. I was seeing them all of a sudden, like I'm going. You know, like how do you start to create that vision and manifest the life you want?

You know, who are you hanging around? Like being in, um, no BS women, right? Like seeing women change their lives and eat healthier and make different mindset decisions is motivate. Like you wanna be around people that are doing those same things, that are changing their mind. They're changing who they are around the food, the weight loss, all of that.

It's not just about the getting skinny, right? Because we all know that skinny isn't where it's at, right? I was recently skinny and I was still had all this shit going on, you know what I mean? And now I'm like, okay, I'm in the fat suit. It's almost like another alter ego, the fat suit. Like how can I unzipped it?

You know what I mean? I think about what isn't there, that movie where, um, Cameron. Diaz, I don't know if I ever watched it, but, um, she had a fat suit on and I think of myself like that sometimes. Like I'm, I'm just, I'm in my fat suit right now and I'm gonna take this fat suit off and I'm gonna feel so good on that other side, that fat suit.

If I can dial into that emotion of the woman that is so lit up and just feels so good in her body and she's just fueling her body with all these things that energize her, it's all part of that. I don't like eat the same when I'm that person because it's different energy. I'm even getting from food. I'm like a different person and the fat suit, Addie's a different person, but I feel like.

Getting comfortable in both skins is interesting and it's interesting to stay safe right here. Safe eating the pizza and watching the Netflix safe, not making choices and changes to learn something new or dare to put out a new event into the world or new podcast or dare to share my thoughts versus curling up and hiding and eating and staying the same.

That terrifies me. So this thought of, if you don't change, take some time this week and visualize that. If you were to not change and keep doing the same thing, what does your life look like in five years, 10 years, 20 years? What does your life look like if you do start to make some small changes? If you do dare to believe in you, no matter your age, no matter how many fucking times you failed before, and in fact, if you failed a hundred times before, you're just that much closer because you dared to get up and fail.

You know how many times people don't even try? They don't even try to make a change in their life. You guys. And the fact that you're here listening to me try to change my life over and over again every week, just shows that you are interested in that too. You want to transform, you have hope and desire and excitement, and you do believe within you.

You do know you can do this. I know you can do this. I know I can do it. I write every morning. I write my goals out in my plan. And I write where I'm at right now, and then I write the, my next mile markers, write my 90 day plan mile markers back in the two fifties, then the two twenties, then 1 99, then 1 75, then 1 55, and I'm like, it's so easy.

When I look at it like that, it just feels so easy because also it feels easy because I've been there before and I put it on and it'll come off just as easy. This is a moment in time and how many times am I willing to get up and try something new? Try a new way to eat, try a new way to. Make myself get up and work out.

Try a new way to process my stress at work, trying new things and incorporating those things in my life that have worked for me so well before and really trying to make them happen more. You know, it's just so much fun you guys. Isn't it fun? It's fun to find new ways to mess with your mind and rewire that bitch.

So get on it this week. You guys do a visualization. If you don't change that thing, whatever goal you're struggling with, see yourself. If you don't change, if you don't do something, and then spend some time seeing the outcome. If you do make some changes, what does she look like? What does she walk like?

Talk, like, eat, like, feel, like sing, like heart radiance, like. What does she feel in this world? See it both ways and let me know what you guys think about this. All right, witches and bitches, I love you and I'll slay you later. I will have more information about the event out next week. I am still working on some titles and stuff.

We got a little vote going on Facebook on NAMA Slayer. If you're not over there, head over there, you can vote. Uh, I think it should be open a day or so on what you want the title to be. I think that leading. Ladies right now are fall in love with your future self. You get the play on the, the pun on the season there.

And then the other one that is winning. Winning is becoming her. Your future self starts now, and I'm kind of feeling like that goes in with this vibe of this podcast, but we'll see. Of course, Sunfire Amy liked the one that said, um, your 90 days to your future self starts fucking now. I suck anything with the, the F word in it makes it better.

Alright you guys, I love you. Thank you so much for listening. Share with a friend that you know is an amazing witchy bitch like us and I'll slay you on the other side. Slay out.