S3 Ep 199 Your Future Self is Waiting—Do You Believe in Her?

Aloha witches and bitches 🌙 — Slayer is back after a week of travel and ahas, and she’s coming in hot with a soul fire message: when did you stop believing in YOU?

In this raw and real episode of MEfirst Midlife Badassery, I’m diving into:

• My “come to Jesus” moment on the Arizona mountain 🏔️ (yep, tears included)
• Why habits are the bridge between who you are now and your badass future self
• How Atomic Habits, Law of Attraction, and Dr. Joe Dispenza all swirl into one MEfirst recipe for transformation
• The sticky, messy middle of change (and why it feels so damn hard)
• Meditation as a non-negotiable — the secret weapon to re-believing in yourself
• How to stop shoving down your soul with food, distractions, or excuses and start setting her on FIRE 🔥

PLUS: after this episode, you’ll see a bonus Future Self Vision Meditation drop in the feed — no intro, no fluff, just you, me, and your future badass self waiting to be created.

This one’s about belief, becoming, and being. It’s about remembering that YOU are the creator of your life, not the victim of your circumstances. So buckle up buttercup, let’s vision, let’s believe, and let’s create the next level you.

👉 Share this episode with your favorite badass witches & b’s — because it’s our time to rise and shine.

FREE Facebook Community (aka, "The Hood": https://www.facebook.com/groups/mefirstsisterhood

Free Visioning Meditation (goes with Ep 160 Unlock Your Future: Create Vision for Midlife Transformation)

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Transcript

 Aloha Witches and bitches. I had every intention of recording a podcast from Arizona last week, and I could hardly talk. I just had the worst like cough and all of that stuff. So anyhow, sorry I missed you last week, but I have. A bonus for you this week. So after this, I am going to record a future self vision meditation, and that's not gonna totally be the topic of the podcast today, but I wanted to open with that to let you know the podcast after this that you see dropped.

It won't have an intro or anything, and that is intended. For you to use any time you want to let yourself just kind of dive into your future self vision. And remember, this can be like creative visioning your future self vision. This is creating that part of who we might yet believe we want to become like better defining her.

And so I'm gonna talk a little bit about that today, about belief, believing in ourselves. I just had a lot of ahas. Recently for myself about like a, when the fuck did you stop? Like believing in you, like going a hundred percent in on you. And I think I've been in the circumstances, I'm in for a lot of different reasons and I do believe some of that is for me to learn how to apply all of this.

Again, with life being frigging knots. I tell you, I, I was at our planning event and. The week before, I was just really writing and thinking about my life and doing some of that Dr. Joe abundance work I told you about last time, and really looking at being like. What, what is going on? What can I change? How can I just be more, what does that look like?

And realizing I am gone seven, 12 hours a day. I leave at seven in the morning. I get home at seven at night, and there is nothing but sitting in a car and work in all of that time. And how can I. Reinsert myself and make me first again, and how that affects my belief in the awesome badass self, future self I can be.

It's all goes together, you guys, and this is why when I talked about last week when I went to, we had our in in person event, which is amazing. We had very small crew and it was just. Magic. I mean, it's magical with a lot of people too. But we had a lot of time to really talk and self discover and um, just really share about all these aspects of ourselves.

And, um, Cindy that had attended had shared how last week in the podcast, when I. Said about weight loss programs are where your soul goes to die and future self, like your future self dreaming is where your soul goes to get on fire and your soul being on fire. There's no mistake that that is. Affecting things like our health, like weight loss, like that kind of thing.

When I'm shoving down my soul, I'm literally shoving her down with food. And I've talked about this on the podcast over and over about how my 300 pound ball of misery, that was really my. Soul and there banging on the walls. Like, listen, op sister, like you have something here to do on this planet. You are so much more than this.

Coming home at night, ordering takeout and shoving your face 'cause you're just beside yourself and you didn't know what to do. And now I'm this person that knows what to do and still see myself doing these same things, these habits that are ingrained in ourselves. And how much of that is. The process of transformation.

So hopefully this doesn't sound like I'm all over the place. I didn't bullet point this. I wanted to just come do a quick little share because I wanna get the Po Visioning podcast recorded. But I also wanted to give you a little background of where this is coming from and why I think it's so important.

So, James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits also talks about. You know, us building habits, your habits are who you are, right? Like every, all the things we show up and do in our lives, that's who we are. It's the essence of who we become. So as we're looking to transform ourselves, often we start at the outcome like.

I want the skinny. We don't start at who is the person that is the skinny, right? Like, who do I really want to become that gets me that outcome? And so this is a process of starting in that inner circle, starting with who do I believe I wanna become and do I believe I can get there? And then that process of the becoming is the middle stage.

That's when we're making the new habits and we're transforming things in our lives. And it's. Hard, and it's sticky and it's messy and it feels so frigging difficult. And that's where I've been at with creating this next version of me. It just all feels so fucking hard. I'm gone 12 hours a day and these are all also excuses, and I hear and see them, right?

So I'm like, okay, we're an awareness ad, we're not victims. And I thought all these things were coming and that were changing with the new job. The job isn't happening, you guys. Which means my big house move isn't happening. And you know, I just look, even my spirit guides were like, it's all changing.

Everything is coming and nothing has. And I, I keep getting these messages. I knew the job wasn't happening before. It did just by my card pulls, my card draws. Things like just keep having faith in the universe. Things might not turn out the way you think they're going to. Like, I just kept getting all these messages that weren't in alignment with this thing I thought I wanted and.

You know, I, there were so many cons to it as well, location wise, money wise, things like that. And job wise, the job was a lot harder, right? Like would've taken much more of my energy at that work. But I thought it might also be a little more rewarding because of that. But things are changing where I'm at currently that are becoming more rewarding.

So. Anyhow. I, I don't know, I just felt like that whole eclipse season, that like this was all coming, it was all ricochet. It was all changing, and, um, it, I don't. It hasn't, but I have. So I had this big aha while in Arizona, you guys and I, I've been talking about how I've been waiting for this flip to happen where I haven't been committed to really, to my weight loss, to my physical self.

I mean, I've been working a lot this year on healing. Skin, my gut health detoxing from mold, like learning all of this stuff. So I knew the path I needed to go on, but I wasn't dedicated. Like I kept writing weight loss as my goal, but I knew I wasn't committed. And where is that commitment? Well, I tell you what, I went.

To Phoenix, visited Lexi and I got up and I went on my mountain. Totally forgot water too. So stupid. But I literally, you guys, this isn't even like a mountain, it's a walk. It's a little baby hill. I had to like claw my way up this hill. I am so outta shape. I've put on so much weight. Like I was like running up this hill and it was just a really.

A come to Jesus moment, if you will. You know, I sat up there on the mountain and I wept tears of gratitude. Actually, they weren't tears of sadness because it was so hard or any of that. It was just having that space where I went and during my first transformation. That has just been a home and a reminder to myself of you can create whatever the fuck you want.

You know, so what are you gonna create, add? What do you wanna do? And then again, I keep pulling cards that say, stop trying to force it, allow the outcome. And I was listening again to um, Abraham Hicks going over the original law of attraction. Recording they have on Audible, and I listen to that sometimes over and over to remind myself about this process of creation, about thoughts and emotions and vibrations, how we're creating everything.

Just you having the thought is starting the creation and the part that I always find. The most difficult, I think a lot of us do, and the part that is just such a good reminder is the allowing, allowing other people to have their own opinions about shit. Like everything on social media right now, you guys allow your job, your.

Job here on Earth is to worry about yourself and to improve yourself and create in your world what you are creating. Allow, like you allow other people's opinions. You allow yourself to just let go of the out outcome and not be attached to the outcome as soon as we start to get attached to it, that is ego that isn't coming from the universe.

God, whatever you wanna call creation. So. I just think all of these things together, I know that's like from Atomic Habits to Law of Attraction to Dr. Joe Dispenza. This is all part of learning to create in this dynamic universe. And part of that is of course, belief. You know, belief in the fact that you can do it.

So you have these thoughts and feelings, but then we have all these limiting beliefs that get in our way. And so part of what visioning does for you is it helps you feel that in your body ahead of time. Like your body doesn't know the difference between a really good vision and actually doing these.

The thing, and this is why things like visioning, the outcome can be powerful. That's not future self visioning necessarily, right? But visualizing the outcome of like what my body looks like, that type of thing. Seeing that, seeing a process outcome. Remember I did a podcast on here about the different types of visioning and the process outcome is like what a Olympic swimmer might do, see themselves.

Moving through the water and achieving that time. How they're hitting every flip, turn, everything like that, right? That's us envisioning it. Maybe you're seeing yourself lifting weights. You're seeing yourself successfully walking by the donuts at work. Can I do this one? All the time, right? Like I'm like, okay, I know this is gonna be an obstacle.

I'm gonna see myself overcoming it, anticipating ahead of time what my brain's gonna give me because it's got 50 years of, oh, just grab the thing, one little bite, won't matter. All of that built up in there. And who is my future self? Who is she and how does she act? What habits does she have? And this is part of what we do in the ME For Guide process is we identify what, first of all, who do you even want to become?

What habits does she have? Do you know the inside of who she is? I like to think of this in a, a. Like a bull, a bullseye circle. So on the very inner part is the belief that is your inner self. This is where we really need change to happen. And then you have the middle part of the circle that is that become part that is the habits.

It's what you're actually doing in the world. And then the outer part is the being. This is your outcome. This is what you get from your belief of who you are. Of who you wanna be, of who you are becoming inside of you, and you're, you're becoming what habits you're putting out into the world, and then you're able to be and allow it.

So this is just the outcome, the outside of me, my weight being up, me feeling disconnected in. Whether it's my home or work or wherever, that, that's the outside stuff, right? Who do I wanna change on this inner level? And last week when I was talking about thinking about a goal and what did I do, what were the things I did as that person that got that goal that left corporate America and got our little RV and traveled the country and lived one of her wildest dreams that lost all the weight, like who was she?

What was she doing? I lived in future self land so much. So many of us made alter ego names. I became slayer. Literally, my kids frigging call me Slayer. I am slayer. I'm like, I need another version of Slayer. I was telling Minnie Slayer that this week, look, now she's even mini slayer. I call her a slay, she calls me slay.

It's hilarious. And a lot of the people in Army First community that came up while we were doing all this future self, like just dreaming from an alter ego perspective really helps you determine like, who is that badass bitch inside of me? Because let me tell you, when you're 12 hours a day in your car.

At work talking to people like a lot of you guys are, I know you have lives very similar to this, that it feels impossible to almost even create that time to think and dream for yourself. But guess what? Bitches we create the time. We create me first, and I looked back to that time and I was like, what was I doing?

I was, no matter what. Meditating for 20 minutes in the afternoon. You could not have stopped me. I would park behind a dumpster on my property. I would go in the huddle room at work. I put it on my calendar as a doctor's appointment, and it became to the point that if I didn't meditate, I had this big panic inside my body.

And it's because I was so used to processing all of my stress and my emotions that when I didn't. I could feel it, and I'm like, you know what that means right now, ed, because I'm not processing it. It's just all welled up in there. It's just all become this big emotional, I'm ready to burst volcano, but I don't even know it.

I, I feel not stressed because I'm eating it, or I'm reading a book, or I'm watching a show, or I'm ignoring it. I'm ignoring the stress. I'm not processing the stress, whether it's through meditation, physical activity, being in nature, whatever that might be. But meditation one of the quickest ways to do that.

But it takes like, I was dedicated twice a day, 20 minutes a day, and it was clockwork. And I'm like, I decided, I'm like, you know what? We, I'm, I want to get back there. That was one of the things that like, it was like so intangible and I would tell everyone, meditation, meditation, meditation. And then I even had a point, well, I don't know if meditation's like, yes.

It's that fucking important, right? It's that important because I took time out for me to just sit and be silent and be still, and this is different than my guided meditations that I've been doing a lot of, you know, I do a lot of Dr. Joe Dispenza's work. But the silent transcendental meditation, primordial sound meditation that I teach, these silent meditations are game changing shit I can't even tell you.

Like, and then I'll just like have these brilliant ideas. I'm so much more productive at work, and while I'm seeking all these supplements to take for my brain fog, I'm also like, why you just freaking meditate ed? Right? So that's just one example of. Who am I becoming? Who do I wanna be in that inner most part of me and this belief factor.

I was like, you know, thinking about what I wanna do in 2027 when I moved back to the mainland and thinking, oh, maybe I'll transfer with my company now, or look for something remote or get a position there. I'm like, when the fuck did you stop believing in yourself? Ad. Like being that entrepreneur that is successful in lighting the world up, and why am I not doing that?

Because of the lack of the belief, right? Because of the lack of belief of that. Because when I had the same amount of time before. I created that result, right? So part of it is determining what exactly I do desire and then also believing in myself that I can do it and finding those limiting beliefs that are buried.

And the only way I do that, I do this every morning in the me for guide. There's a section in here for you guys that got the planner. Or if you want a digital copy, just get in the me first sisterhood and ask, and I'll send you one. But in here we have, you know, um. What is this new thought I'm working on?

And then I like, I see it, I envision it. I see myself saying, oh my God, I can't believe I did it. That's usually the thought, right? Something like along those lines, and then I have this a joy wonder, and then I sit there and say, okay. How does that feel on my day to day? And then I'm like, oh, that feels like fucking bullshit.

I've got like, all I gotta do is go to work. I've got all these reports. I'm not even gonna have time to like eat. I don't even know what I'm eating today. I couldn't food prep. I don't know. Like all the shit thoughts will come out and then I rewrite them. I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. I can make choices on the fly.

I am. I am a badass bitch. Like whatever it is, I write myself. I'm rewriting those thoughts every single day. And that is in addition to my morning magic pages where I'm writing all the other crap outta my head. I got so much shit in my head, you guys. We all do. I bet you got a lot of shit too. This is where people get wrapped up in the, in the.

Morning pages, right? The Julia Cameron, if you wanna go look her up. It's basically your stream of conscious writing. Like you can't overthink this. This isn't like journaling with a prompt. This is like taking a broom and a dust van in your brain and just clear cleaning it all up. So literally the next thought that comes in your head, you just write it down on the paper.

And I am self-coaching myself. Every single morning, every single morning, rewiring myself, and now that I got this plan back in my world, I've added a little more yoga back in my day, and I'm gonna nail this PM meditation and watch, watch me light this bitch up, and it might take me a couple quarters. I'm not even gonna manifest that for myself.

I'm doing this. I'm, I'm making it happen. I want that feeling again. I want that, oh my God, I didn't meditate feeling because the person I am. When I am doing those things that really care for myself is night and day. So that's one of the things I'm working on. But this future self-guided meditation, I'm gonna drop for you guys right now.

You put this on before you go to bed in the morning, just when you're gonna get sit down and get ready to journal about your future self. If you have the me first guide, do you wanna listen to this before you do the first? It starts at like page 11 or 12 where you do the future self visioning. You're going to finish the vision meditation, and then you're gonna write down everything you saw.

And remember, the emotions are important. How did you feel when you woke up in them? Bed and whatever, you know, how, what emotion were you feeling? What did it look like? What were you creating? What, what surprising thoughts came through? And when you're allowing yourself to vision, don't block yourself. Just let it be.

And if you don't see anything, that's okay too. Just let yourself float there. Let yourself see how you feel. Do you feel a tingle of anticipation and excitement? Even the thought of thinking about your future self. Maybe that's where you start at and maybe that's exactly the emotion and where you need to be and how many times do you listen to that or create it in your mind that it's until you are starting to see bits and pieces of who you wanna become and what are the things she does, and then how do you start to believe.

You can actually do the thing. What is holding you back? Where are those limiting thoughts? How are you seeing them? Getting them out and overcoming 'em. Right. Okay. All for another time. Okay, you guys, that's a little bit of something, something, and so things are changing because I'm always changing. I'm always evolving and I'm here for the process and my eyes and my heart are open and I'm really getting back into some ooey gooey me with like yoga, meditation.

Leaning in there and also having some frigging fun. I got a friend in town, I'm headed to town. I'm gonna stay night in town. We're gonna go out and have some pizza and some shenanigans and um, I'm going into work late tomorrow and I'm just gonna let there be a little more fun in my life. So you guys too.

Let's do that this quarter, right? All right. As always, I really appreciate you listening, sharing the podcast. Share it with all your other badass, witchy, bitchy friends out there that need to believe, that have done every weight loss program in the world, or have tried to achieve every goal. And we're just like, we know it's not about all that shit, right?

It's about us and what is the magic and what do we wanna put in the world, and what am I here for in our purpose? We're at the stage in the lives where. We, and it's our time. It is our time to rise and shine and radiate. So let's go get that bitch. All right, I love you guys. Enjoy the future self meditation.

Up next, slay out.