S3 Ep 206: Stop Caring What They Think: Identity Shifts, Reinvention, and MEfirst Magic

30 days until Freedom Addie (leaves the day job)! This week, Addie shares a fresh take on transformation, inspired by a truth-bomb–filled catch-up with longtime client and friend, Lola. Together they crack open the real magic behind reinvention: stop caring what others think, get honest with yourself, and start intentionally creating who you want to be.

Addie breaks down how she’s structuring her days with alter-ego energy — CEO Addie, Creative Addie, Community Addie, Me-First Morning Addie — and how segment-intending (a la Abraham Hicks) can shift the entire vibe of your day.

Plus: honoring your energy type, reclaiming your mornings, letting go of guilt, using tools like Notion + Skool to support your next chapter, and remembering that no one is judging you the way you think they are.

If you’re craving freedom, alignment, or a spark to feel alive again — this one will hit.

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Transcript

 What's up you guys? Here we go. 30 days until I leave the day job. And get back to doing what lights me up, which is hanging out with you guys. That's right. That's all I'm gonna do for a living from now on is hang out with y'all. How's that sound? Sounds pretty frigging spectacular to me.

But, um, I wanted to share with you because I had the best catch up with, uh, one of my old clients and I consider one of my good friends now. That's what happens when you are. Coaching with each other. Usually you end up having some sort of relationship. Right. And, um, Lola's been around for a while. She's on a, you'll hear about her and a few of the podcasts on here.

If you've been listening for a while and we were just like doing a little catch up, like, it's so funny when it's on. It feels very one sided, right? Because I have the podcast, I do lives on Facebook. I feel like I'm like always sharing. So a lot of times you guys will know what's going on with me and when I haven't seen you or coached with you or like even had a conversation with you in a year, I'm like, oh my God, I need to know all the things.

And it was just so great to hear. How much transformation she's had, and she was like, Hey, so much of the work we did was together If you need a testimonial, all of that stuff. I was like, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that, but even more so what she took from all of the work she did. Right. And it was like, it's.

Funny how certain things will be like big paradigm shifts for you. And this is why every podcast I come, I am like, try to share with intent to inspire, to leave you with maybe one little nugget that will help you see the world in a different way. And Lola was like drop in truth bombs. Like, no, tomorrow I said we should have recorded our conversation.

So I could have just played that because she was just like. Dropping 'em left and right, and one of the things she said was, you know what really hit for me? She said, first of all, just put myself first over and over again. Really setting those boundaries and telling people no and figuring out how that worked in her life and how to let go of the guilt and show up for herself.

But also, she said it was huge when she just had this like big realization that nobody really gives a fuck. Right. It's like she's so worried about, we are so worried about what everyone else thinks and no one gives a shit. She's like, no one cared. I in the pool, in my bikini in The Bahamas, no one like is walking up to me and saying, get out of the pool.

You fat, who? You can't be in that bathing suit. She's like, no one even cared. No one noticed. Here I'm all wrapped up in my head about what people are thinking about my fat jingling in a two piece. Okay, I might have ad-lib some of that, but you get the gist, right. And, um, although she said mostly all that funny stuff, I'll have, you know, and I said, I'm not downplaying 1 cent of what you just said because it was golden.

But isn't that true? You guys like just that thought of shifting from. What everyone else is thinking about us. And it only mattering what we think about ourselves, about us taking the time to think, what if I take all that energy I'm spending concerned about what other people are thinking? And instead I spend that energy and thinking about what I think about myself and what I wanna create for myself and who I wanna be, who is it I wanna become?

And as I'm in this midst. Of another reinvention and a rebirth and rebecoming, if you will, and looking at creating from a space of honoring, first of all, my, my energy, right? Like understanding in that human design. I was telling you guys about that, that hermit part of myself, that part that needs to go inside and just be still and be alone.

And my mom was always like, oh, Addie needs alone time, right? Like I always had to go in quiet time. And it was like she. She knew that about me that I needed this time. And it's like finally honoring that time and not being like something is wrong with me, that I can't go, go, go for a hundred hours at a time, right?

That I need that time to go inside myself before I'm up and I'm creating, and I'm responding, and I'm doing all these. Other amazing things I can put into the world and knowing I need that time within myself. So today I wanted to share with you guys a couple of things that I'm in the process of like just I'm having so much fun because I'm learning so many cool things and I'm gonna create so much, I think fun, magical shit.

But I am going to get it set up this time. So I do it from a place of honoring. Myself and my space so that it's sustainable for me. And as I grow and challenge myself and continue to learn and adapt, that I can just keep flourishing and just keep, like when I get a hurdle in life, that I can move through that and come out the other side.

So one of the things I learned today, I'm getting into learning about this. Um, software called Notion. It's like a planning app software, and I'm thinking of using it to set my life up, like my business, an online planner, and pulling in all my things into one planning type software where it like helps me run, publishing my podcast and my daily life and to do tasks and it's things I might wanna create in the groups I'm creating and, you know, what's coming up next.

And maybe. Do you want a guest spot on a podcast? Or like, what are all these things look like and how do I pull 'em in one place so that I can execute 'em? So I'm looking at the software and I found this woman on school. I'm playing around on the school app, so no spoiler alerts, but we're gonna be building some badass community over there.

You guys get ready because you guys are gonna be my founding members and we're gonna light this bitch up. It's so much fun. I'm having so much fun. It's like Facebook used to be fun back in the day. Do you remember that when it used to be fun and not like, oh, I don't know, it just has a different energy and now it even feels old and archaic to me compared to what I'm experiencing over on school.

And I know once you guys get in there and playing around with it, you'll feel the same thing. I was like a fish outta water at first. And now I'm like, oh, this is cool. This is where the cool kids are hanging. That's where they are. So anyhow, I'm over there learning all this. Stuff and making all these connections.

And I found this girl called the Burnout Coach, and she's got her group and I'm in there and I'm learning about this software called Notion. And she's talking about how she sets up her days, she calls it CEO Sunday, and she sets her week up. And I love learning, like planning and time hacks. And you guys, well, you know, I built a planner, right?

And I love, I can never learn enough about that, about time management and helping to manage my brain because. I think I am undiagnosed, probably A DHD. A little bit like some of that going on, you know, you've been here for the squirrels and having a place where my ideas can be and I can take action and helps, but also gives me the freedom to work in.

In a space of freedom. Like I don't wanna be totally scheduled to the tea. I want to have the ability to float with it because that's my personality type, but at the same time, get this shit done. And this is kind of who this chick is. So I'm like, this is perfect. I'm gonna learn from her. So she's talking about how she has her week set up and she has, like, as an entrepreneur, you have all these different hats you wear, right?

So on Monday it's. She's CEO Monday, and then she's got Creative Tuesday and then customer, not Customer Community Wednesday, and then coaching Thursday, like whatever that might look and how you set it up. And I thought. Oh my God, this is so perfect. It's like you're putting on an alter ego because I'm, you know, I'm all into alter egos and building them, and it's one of the things that we're gonna do in the group is creating our alter egos again and again and, you know, keep, um.

Growing with them, if you will, and keep future selfing. Beyond that, I think so much of like transformation process, you know, to go from a belief to a becoming to a B state, like how do you get from belief to you are being right, like how do you act as if now to like put on this personality of I'm CEO Addie, right?

Like, how does CEO Addie show up different than maybe community Addie. Community Addie Day might look like, Hey, I sit in the pool all day and I'm playing around in school rooms, responding to people having fun. CEO Addie might need her full desktop experience with all her screens going. She's locked in, she's concentrating, she's looking at stats, she's making spreadsheets.

She's like. Right, and those are to totally different energies. And then I got thinking about this. I'm like, you know, this works even throughout your day as you're working, right? Like I would have me first, Addie, like me first Addie in the morning is very spiritual like she doesn't allow. The phone, she doesn't allow.

I don't allow that energy to come in. I even talk about her in third party. That energy doesn't come in until I'm like almost done with my plan and I bring in my phone for my schedule. And up until that point, she's meditating, she's doing magic pages, she's dreaming. She's thinking about, oh my gosh, what are the possibilities I can create today?

What's all the shit in my head I need to get out? Where's my self-doubt? How can I rewrite that? And then I go through my plan where. I'm thinking, okay. How do I wanna show up today? What are my goals? What could get in my way? What are the new thoughts I wanna believe? How do I wanna envision that? Like, like how, what, what card is gonna inspire me today and what can I draw from that?

Like while I'm doing all of that in my, that's my me first Addie, right? That's what gets me going in the morning to show up in my best, highest self. Each and every day. It's this process I go through and it's all processes. When we get down to it, you guys, we are 90% habit, right? It's like huge percentage of your thoughts that are already just running under there.

And who is that next person you wanna become and what does she look like? And if we look at this like we can do. Small little changes in small little segments of our day. What change, what thing could you look at that could help start, make that transformation now? Like if you believed you could be her and you could start acting like her now?

What would that look like? What are those things you would wanna see her do? Right? Like CEO, Addie, she probably may, she might even put a bra on, right? Like she might even get dressed. CEO Addie might get dressed up, right? Creative. Addie probably goes to a coffee shop and she sits and she dreams and maybe she uses software to plan out some content she's gonna create.

And like all of these. People and these things I do can look like different things. Right. Then that led me into thinking about segment and tending like Abraham Hicks talks about. This is built into the ME first guide too. It's had such a big impact on me. This is, this concept is about you thinking ahead of time, what.

Energy, what feeling, what outcome you want out of what situation. And for example, Abraham gives this example of a phone call, like when someone calls you, they know what they want out of the phone call, but you don't know until they tell you. Right? You're like, hello? Okay, what do you, what do you want?

Right? And if you really wanna be intentional with that phone call, it's like, find out what they want and then hang up. Think about what you want out of the phone call, and then call 'em back with intention. You know, it's like heading into a meeting with one of my employees that maybe I need to coach and counsel.

And what is the intention I want out of this? Do I want them to get better and get beyond? Or do I want them to get the idea that maybe this just isn't the right fit? Those are two totally different intentions I'm gonna go into that meeting with, you know, and so seeing ahead of time what you want each little part of your day look like can be powerful.

And I think the same thing can happen as you apply an alter ego to a day. It's just an intention, right? Like CEO Addie is an intention of some sort. She's productive, she's focused, she's. Energized, she's very, um, detail oriented, right? And like, these things are an intention for an intended outcome, and what do I want that outcome to look like?

So I just thought that was kind of a fun way, kind of like one of those paradigm shifts, like to look at your day like. How do I wanna show up in this aspect of my day to have this outcome? I want, like if you want the outcome in your morning to be like, you go from waking up, just feeling like crap, not dreading going to work and all of that stuff to, Hey, I create my life.

What can I create out of today? What to get that outcome. Who do you need to be in order to get that outcome? What are the things she does? Right? And this is part of what we're gonna do as we get into focusing on building alter egos in future self and getting into the habits of becoming right, because you have the belief, this is, who do you even want to become?

What does she look like? Most of us, a lot of us don't even know. We don't know what we want that to be. We don't know what we want it to look like. One of the things I started doing was I was like, you know, I know what I love in my mornings is. Having some physical activity that I am in a place I love, like the place can be very important too.

Like being in, in the pool, for example, like walking the pool in the morning, like that's delightful to me. Being out at the beach, being on a mountain, and then I had those allergy shit happening. It rocked with what I was trying to make my life as. I was believing in becoming here in Hawaii, right? Like creating that mourning for myself of I'm this person that gets up and feels this expansiveness in my chest and I know where I feel those things.

Where are they for you? Is it when you're out taking a walk, is it when you're on a paddle board? Is it when you're running with your dogs through the park? Is it when you're hanging with your girlfriends? Like where do you feel this. Expansive. Oh my gosh. Like look at what I'm creating. I'm so grateful, I'm so thankful.

Like where can you get the tingle of that in your life and how can you start doing it now? How can you start adding little pieces of that right now and getting ourselves there to do it? And that's the becoming part, right? So the believing, who is that I wanna be? What are the things she does? And the becoming part is us figuring out how to be the person that creates these habits in our lives where we actually get up and do the meditation and the plans and go to the pool and the, I wasn't this person, I was like, I was the snooze, the alarm clock.

And roll outta bed and get to work. And I had become that person while I wasn't feeling well here for quite like about seven months I think when I was just sick. Oh, this is another truth bomb. Lola dropped. She was full of frigging gold today. She said, you know when you're feeling sick or like under the what?

Whatever you can. Fix that. But you can't fix other people. You can't go and fix them and what they're thinking. But you can fix yourself, right? You can fix you not feeling good. You can try, right? Like there might be times where that feels. Uh, insurmountable depending on what you're going through, but you can't, you can fix your thoughts around that.

You can fix your feelings around it. You can't fix other people. And like, how freeing is that to know? Like, fuck 'em, fuck, fuck 'em all, fuck the man. Right? Like you, you create your life. You can heal you, you can fix you, you can heal your thoughts, your mind, your feelings, all of that to create this outcome you want.

Well, that's it. So for this week, you guys, I know, kind of short and sweet this week, but um, maybe just a little something to get your brains going. You know, like, um, segmenting your day, your life, uh, using alter egos. Like how can you incorporate that into your world, right? Maybe setting a specific intention for your morning at work and your afternoon and before you show up as mom, wife, daughter, single lady, whoever we are, right?

Like until we step into that next version of ourselves and what does that look like? And more importantly, what do we want it to look like? Like we are here to live some intentional lives because we're not asleep any longer. You are definitely not asleep if you're listening to this because it means you're ready to create something different in your life and maybe start looking at a goal from an angle that you hadn't thought of before.

And I keep saying this like about with weight loss, but part of me leaving and just deciding to live in truth with myself as my authentic self and just. Speaking and daring to go after my dream. And all of that is like, what if this time we just pursue the dream and the weight and everything else follows?

Isn't that gonna be interesting? And don't, don't get me wrong, I'm never gonna stop sharing about, um, food and how I feel and all of that. And oh, that's another thing. See, I always think I'm hanging up and I'm not. I know like I'm on an old school phone or something, but. Um, I was thinking about, um, uh, food noise and, you know, there's a lot of talk about food noise right now and it going away, you know, with medications and stuff like that.

And I think, you know, I remember feeling that way when I was flour and sugar free like that. There just wasn't the food noise. And, um, it doesn't mean I didn't still struggle to deal with my emotions though Lola and I got talking about that, right. Like the dealing, uh, with emotions and how mu how freeing it is when we hit the stage of our lives where we just don't give as money fucks.

You know, there's no other way to put it. Like, we just hit that era where we're like, you know, we can truly step into me first and, okay, that's it. I swear to God I'm done now, but there's. So much cool shit coming. You guys invite all your friends and we're gonna just be lighting this bitch up and doing some massive, um, inner transformations and see what we create in this world together.

So hopefully you got a little something magic in here today, whether it's, no one's thinking about it anyway. Right. Nobody cares like you care. Stop caring about what other people think. Think about what do I wanna think, what do I wanna create? And then how can you bring in another identity of yourself into different even segments of your day to live more intentionally and to just have fun with it.

Like how do you show, I show up differently all the time, don't you? I show up differently as a mom, as a friend, as a me, a leader. Like I have different personas I put on, although I think I'm always me there, I behave in different ways, right? So I think we all experience that. Okay. Anyhow, I hope this was a little bit of magic for you today, and until next week, you guys, only 30 more days.

30 more days. So I'm laying the groundwork right now and then we're gonna be, um, having some fun, launching some new stuff up in here. So I can't wait. I love you guys. Thanks for being on the ride with me. Until next week,