S3 Ep 208: 53 & Daring as Hell: The Leap, the Life Upgrade, and What’s Coming Next

What’s up, witches and bitches! 🎉 It’s my 53rd birthday and I’m celebrating by doing what any midlife badass would do: talking colonoscopies, quitting my job, burning down old identities, and daring myself into the biggest life upgrade I’ve made in years.

This episode is raw, hilarious, messy, squirrel-filled, and FULL of the magic that happens when you stop tolerating the life you’re in… and start creating the one you actually want.

I’m sharing the fear behind-the-scenes of my nine-day countdown to leaving my soul-sucking job, how my quarterly MEfirst planning shocked me into clarity, what human design + feng shui has opened up for me, and why this next chapter is all about freedom, fun, and future self energy.

If you’ve been following my journey, this is one of those “holy shit, she did it” episodes.

Inside this episode:

• Why turning 53 feels like stepping into my final Pokémon evolution
• How the hell I went from “I’m staying at this job forever” to “BYE, BITCHES”
• The exact goals I set in my MEfirst Guide that shifted EVERYTHING
• What human design, hermit mode, and intuition taught me about timing
• How clearing my room (and my life) using feng shui made space for the leap
• What I’m building next — and why it’s FOR those who dare
• Why weight, health, and freedom feel totally different at this stage of life
• The moment I remembered little Addie in the mirror pretending to be on TV
• A Lucifer-style dare: What do you truly desire?

This is the start of an entirely new season of MEfirst Midlife Badassery — the season where we stop talking about living bravely… and actually fucking do it.

Call to Action:
✨ Tell me what YOU dare to do next.
Screenshot the episode and tag me with:
“This year, I dare to ________.”

✨ Text this episode to a midlife witch or bitch who needs a nudge to break free.

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Transcript

In this birthday episode, I’m cracking open the REAL story behind my latest leap — the fears, the freedom, the human design clues, the MEfirst Guide magic, and the wild midlife energy pushing me forward. At 53, I’m daring harder than ever: leaving my job, redesigning my life, reinventing my space, and asking YOU the Lucifer-level question that changes everything…

What is your deepest desire?

If you’ve been following my journey, this is the moment where everything clicks. If you’re standing on the edge of your own next chapter, this one’s your invitation to dare with me.

Let's get started. What's up, witches and bitches? It's my birthday. That's right. I'm 53 today and Wow. 53. I think I had to count back 1972. That's right. Right. Do you guys start to lose track of your age? So I'm doing something really exciting this week. I'm having my first colonoscopy. That's right. If you haven't done this yet, I hear it's all the rage and it's the thing to do.

It's the thing we must do to, uh, you know, take care of ourselves, right? So I start the lovely drink on Tuesday to clear it all out, and we're going to see how that goes. Very exciting, but I'm not here just to tell you about my colon, although I know you guys love that. Hearing about my colon shooting rainbows out my ass.

It's gonna be even clearer that I can shoot rainbows out my ass if there's any polyps in the way. Right. I'll keep you guys posted, but you know, one of the things that I've been doing, I so much to share with you guys and I'm so excited, right? So I've been horsing around over on this platform called school, which I'm taking all you witches and bitches to, with me to.

It's just, it incredible. It's so much fun. It's what social media was meant to be when it was meant to be social. It's just community first and then all the other shit second. And I just have. Just fallen in love with it because, you know, this is in my human, um, design. Jean Key too is community, and it's a huge pillar of mine.

And when we first started all this work together, if you've been following me since back in the day and the original Slave Sisters, and we all have our alter egos, which were frigging doing again, by the way, I know a lot of you bitches need 2.0 versions, and some of you don't even have one yet. So we're gonna be building alter egos.

We're just gonna like have some. Frigging fun, and this is one of the things, when I first started creating and teaching and sharing everything I was doing on my journey that just really bonded us was the community and us doing it together. I've always said like, I'm the bitch by your side, right? I'm your ride or die.

I'm not. Some guru. Right? And I think, um, school has done that really well. It's taken away the whole guru mentality platform. I don't know why I'm saying guru like that. I can hear my kids making fun of me right now. It's like when I say boogie board, boogie board. Boogie board. How do you guys say boogie board?

It must be a Michigan accent thing. I don't know. So anyhow, I'm having so much fun and as I'm thinking about, oh my God, what are we gonna launch the group as? What's it gonna be? How am I gonna have it set up for people that are just finding us and not quite ready to do the deep work yet, or dive in? And how do I set that up to not totally scare 'em off, you know?

But still, also, if you don't find some whimsy in witches and bitches. You can't handle an F-bomb, you're not our people. Right? That's like our criteria pretty much. That's, that's about it. We don't have a whole lot of criteria other than that. Leave your politics at the door. Come in, have some fucking fun, dream big dare to create this next adventure for yourself.

So I was, I was sitting here this morning and I'm building my team, right? I'm, I'm like CEO Addie this time. So last time when I took off and built my business, it really supported my lifestyle. I was kind of like this hobbyist, right? I didn't really take any of it to like, I didn't spend time in my business like I did at work for others, right?

And. That sounds bad because like, you know how I felt about work these past two years. I mean, putting the time and energy and effort in, I was really more finding myself than the focus on what can I do to help others and not that I didn't focus on how can I help others. It was more. Let me figure out how to take care of myself and, and in the process it is helping other people, which I think will never stop for me because it's part of, um, first of all, my human design, finding new things, trying them, and sharing them with the world.

But also my intention going in this time with what I'm creating is all about you, is all about aware how. We can help you get to that next level to how you can help yourself, right? Like, 'cause it's all within you and we're just all doing it together. So I have all of these intentions going into it and I'm thinking, and I'm just sitting here writing and I go back and I look through my me first guide.

I'm like, all right, I really need a plan for December. 'cause I don't know my head from my ass right now. I've got all of these ideas. I have lots of. Things I'm watching and listening and coaching and guides. And who do I put in these places? Like for my marketing seat, you know, uh, director for, like, I have this whole board of directors I'm creating for my business, right?

My Notion Expert, which is a, um, computer software organizational program. Like, I've got this woman I'm going to hire to help me get that really organized. And she focuses on squirrel brains. So. I'm excited for that because you know the squirrels, you guys, if you've been around a hot second, you know my squirrels and if you're just getting here, you'll know by the end of this episode 'cause we've already had three.

So congratulations for keeping up. And so I've got her in place. I've got my human design business coach, which is helping me design it according to me and my style and what's sustainable for me. Did you guys know I have a hermit? Pathway. So this made so much sense. If you remember, I burned the podcast down like last year.

Was it last year or the year before? I like totally was like, I'm burning it down. Reinvention, total hermit mode, right? Like I needed to go inside myself and so. Like literally, I guess that's what a hermit crab does, right? Go inside theirselves. Get your mind outta the gutter. You guys think crab, not you know, the other way inside yourself.

Okay, so anyhow. See, squirrel, aren't you glad you're on the ride? So I go and I'm thinking. How do I set myself up to honor that hermit that needs to go inside sometimes? And I also want to travel and be free. And I've been writing about this vision forever and I, so I go back and I look in my me first guide, we did it.

In the beginning of October, so it's every quarter I do this. I lead it through events, through workshops. I'm not sure what that's gonna look like with what's coming out next, but stay tuned because as founding members, you're gonna be on the ground floor of some really smoke and value. That's all I gotta tell you.

So keep your eyes open and I will also be shooting out emails. You'll see me on social. You're gonna see it everywhere. You're not gonna miss it, right? So I go back and I look through my Mefi guide, and literally all of my secondary goals are pretty much done, like massive action, right? Let me tell you guys, I'm gonna share it with you.

I went back to look because I was like, how the hell did I get to? I've got like nine days left at my job and I like, at the beginning of the quarter, I was just thinking I was sucking it up and going to be there forever, right? Like until I left the island, I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna stay here.

I'm gonna build the runway. All of this stuff. How did this happen that I went from. That state of affairs, right? Like, Hey, I'm just gonna stay put to. Everything. Just windows opening doors, opening things pushing me to make this happen sooner. And so I went back and I looked first at my secondary goal. So we have this page in the ME first guide where after we do a whole future self brainstorm and hey, what do I want it to look like?

And I looked back on that too. And I was all writing about freedom and flexible business and travel. And even like my. Food and health, which I always make a primary goal because when that's in alignment everything else happens. Right. And when I looked back at, at that, like what I had written out for my future self and it was all about these things, even the food part was about having time to take care of my food and.

My prep and all of those things, especially with my mold toxicity. I can't pre-prep like I used to. I have to be really careful to that stuff. 'cause my system is really sensitive now. So I, I went back and I was like, oh my gosh. Like all of these things are solved by the leap I've taken, but also I had.

Sixth secondary goals. So they were milona, my oldest, my youngest daughter that I'm here in Hawaii for, um, food is fuel, no flour, no sugar, like really making a move to get back to. Having foods that nourish me where I just felt free from them. Like I wasn't mind fucked by food. Like the way I felt about food is how I hear people talk about GLP ones when the flour and sugar isn't in my system.

That's how I feel about food, like the food noise. Isn't there? So I, I want to naturally move back there. And it was funny, I talked to my doctor and um, she had brought up GLP ones and if, I think I talked with you guys about this last week about it coming up in the NO BS group and you know, there's a bunch of us not on them and looking and maybe being a little jealous, you know, like, that looks easy, that kind of thing.

You know, and also getting the wormhole that it would help with inflammation possibly. So she brought it up in relation to the inflammation in my body. But I'm already on this other Dupixent, which blocks inflammation, and I said, you know, I really wanna see. I said, let's see how these next four months go.

Since I've made the leap to leave this job that is crushing my soul, lighting up, my cortisol, making me just. Feel horrible inside. Let's see what happens with that. With my weight and with inflammation in general, with me making the change to lighting my frigging life up again to doing what I'm here and called to do, let's see what happens to my body just from making that change.

Like, let's see how I affect not only the scale, because honestly you guys at this stage in our lives, who gives a fuck about the scale. I wanna wake up, feel good, be able to get outta bed and do yoga without like potentially pulling a muscle. You know, I did yoga this morning and it was a close call, but I made it.

I made it. And you know, like. Like Dr. Mindy Vers said, she said, what is it? Mindy Vers and Dr. Vers, whatever. She was talking to Mindy PE and she said, you know, it's not about being skinny and being in your skinny jeans anymore. At this point, it's about staying out of the nursing home. I'm like, how fucking true is that?

Like I don't want my kids to have to. Be wheeling me around and stuff, right? Like I think my Aunt Mary is just doing this so well. She's so fit and so healthy, and I always look up and aspire to. You know, follow in her footsteps in the aspect of like her, the way she takes care of herself and the way she pursues it with such dedication and passion, right?

Like it's a big passion of mine, but what I'm finding out on this journey and like what do I wanna name and call the group and all of that is. It's so much not about the fat, but it is about the fat, but it's, it's not right. It's about unlocking these infinite possibilities and daring to dream and believe in yourself.

Check this out, you guys. I got a new laptop over Black Friday 'cause I needed an upgrade massively. And I got this badass workhorse, this gaming computer. It's like everything, right? It even like kind of has these lights that light up all over. I don't, I might have to turn that off. It's a little distracting.

It's a lot of fun though. But you turn the computer on and it says, for those that dare. And I was like, fuck yeah, I dare. So every morning I'm turning that, that laptop on. I'm like, I dare. I dare to leave a bold lead, a bold, audacious life to step into this next version of me too. I'm scared shitless you guys.

Scared I got no safety net, right? Like it's just like we're going, we're going full force. And my intention in my heart and soul is to just build a fun, big ass badass community where we all just show up and dare, dare to become that next version of ourselves. And so often we don't even know, like I've been writing about this and my me first guide doing this every quarter daily, making a plan, looking every month saying, what is it I want?

What is it I desire? And in my small coaching group, I see this so often, it takes time for us to even figure that out. But if you're not putting the time in to even dare to dream about it, to dare to figure it out, then it's not gonna happen. You're on the same hamster wheel, right? You have to dare to think differently to become a different version of yourself, to even start to have a transformation.

So the first part of for me, is always believing. You know? So I know I got off on a bunch of tangents there, but again, welcome to the squirrels. Okay. That was a little annoying. Granted, I'll give you that, but I saw you chuckle. I know you got a little chuckle there. Okay. So that was two of my goals. So Milana being my first one, just really building that relationship with her and getting her mental health support.

Our kids. Oh my God, you guys, can you imagine growing up in the world they're growing up in with social media and just. Uh, it is just a struggle, right? So we got her in therapy support and she started that. And that's been a big goal of mine. You guys. It took almost three months to even get an appointment.

And then I had to go first. Her dad had to go and then she could go. I'm like, this is insane how hard it is to get your kids help, by the way. And, uh, Jenny had life coached her before and that was really, really helpful too. I think they're just. Two different, um, skill sets. You know, like I wish she would go back to a life coach too, like therapy, life coach, whatever we can do to teach her now how to deal with her nervous system, with taking care of herself first with processing emotions.

Like, I'm like, I don't want my kids to be 50 figuring this shit out. You know, so I got that done and I've really been working on that bond with Millie and I and enjoying our car rides together and our dinners out and things like that. So that's been good food, prepping together, making meals, um, we have really been enjoying that time with her and that's been intentional, right.

So with the food part, the secondary goal, like just making simple swaps and diving into mold toxicity more. So a lot of that's not gonna apply to most of you guys, but I will mention that if you're not eating organic, if you have a lot of toxins you're exposed to, it's worth a dive down the rabbit hole of chat, GBT or Google to find out how you can start.

Protecting yourselves from it, because especially as we get older and we're not bleeding anymore because through our blood we pass out a lot of these toxins, they really start to build up. And if you go and get tested, you just might be surprised like how many toxins are in there. So just do everything you can to.

Protect yourself. You know, ceramic pots and pans, that's an easy switch, you know. Um, I saw a hippie, one of the, one of the women in the me first sisterhood, she was posting about an air fryer, a glass air fryer. I've been looking for a non-toxic air fryer forever. Mine's flaking off. I'm like, oh my God, I'm gonna die every time I use it, but yet I need it.

I'm like, I need my air fryer. So I'm like, hell yeah. I'm buying this glass ninja whatever air fryer. Right. So just like looking out for yourself, shampoos, like all these things you use with toxins in 'em. Okay. So my third secondary goal was movement and I had on there to buy the treadmill, which I did for my office, and that'll be coming home to my home office now.

And I got a standing desk. It's funny, I never invested in that in the office, right? It's like I knew, I was like not really staying. You know, it was just kind of like waiting until I was pushed and then swimming and walking the pool at the Croc Center. This is going to be my morning as an entrepreneur, at least, like I would say six days out of the week.

Right? I wake up, I meditate, I journal, I do my plan, I do my 20 minutes of yoga. I. Go to the Crock center and walk the lazy river. Listen to my podcast horse around. Whatever I wanna do there. Take a quick shower and come back and get to work. Or maybe it's adventure, Addie Workday and I go work in town at a cool coffee shop or something, probably depending on when I pick Millie up.

That I'll work that in, right? So I'm like designing my life on that aspect. But movement, I got the treadmill right? I started that process of already going to the Croc Center and walking the Lazy River. If you follow me on Facebook, you've probably seen some lives where I'm in the pool, and that was me starting to live her now, because this is how we do it like.

Who gives a shit about the fat? You guys like start to live it now. Start to feel good. Now you don't even care about it. Right? We're just so caught up in our heads. I, I realized today as I was writing what a shift I've had in who I am because eight years ago it would've been all about my body and food and the fat, and now it's like I have to remember.

That I have extra fat on my body right now. I'm like, oh yeah, and the fat like, and I should like try to get some groceries so I can like watch that, right? Like planning that part of my life is just not a huge focus. But I think we're gonna see. But it is, I wanna say it's not like it's always kind of there, but again, I think I'm naturally moving toward that self that.

Feeds my body for fuel. Okay? So movement was one, manifesting was another. So I do and Cap increasing my capacity. My capacity for money, for health, for love, for everything. Like how high can I allow myself to feel? How good can I allow myself to feel? Yeah, I've always said it's harder to feel my good emotions, and so in that aspect, my creation skills, I joined Mindvalley, I re-upped my Gaia membership, which has like a bunch of the weirdo, like weirdo witchy woo woo stuff, like, like out there.

Shit, I love that stuff. It's so interesting. I'm like, whoa, yeah. What if I love to say what if? What if we're just here to have this frigging. Awesome, fun experience in this body. Like what would you do? Right? It's like fun to bend the mind like that. But also they have my yoga I love. They have good meditations.

I joined Mindvalley and I'm going through some of their programs right now. Everything I'm learning on there. I already teach myself because I've already been down that hole of learning it all. So I'm kind of like waiting for something new to pop up, and I've only just started, so I'm sure I'm like in the tip of the iceberg and I'm gonna find some good stuff, hopefully, because I thought all their masterclasses were included, but they're not.

They get you in there to buy the entry level Mindvalley, which is good. Don't get me wrong. It's good stuff you guys. But again, we're back to the. The gurus set up, right? Like I've just got these people preaching. I'm like fast forward, fast forward, fast forward. I mean, I'm already getting the stuff on YouTube or podcast, right?

And the masterclasses that I was really interested in with like Dr. Joe and hin and like the AI stuff, like some of those masterclasses, it's like an annual membership, like 3,800 or something like that. I'm like, I thought, I just thought the master classes were included. So I'm like, okay, well let me. Let me see how much I'm enjoying this membership just in general, and not to take away their value for it.

I just had the wrong impression, I guess, from their sales and marketing, and they're like, that's something I never wanna give is the wrong impression. Like full transparency, here's what you get. You know what I mean? So not like, oh, by the way, you have to upgrade to get these. You know, like that would've been nice to know.

So anyhow, you guys, I got that. I got Mindvalley, Gaia. I'm in the book club bitches. So this month we're doing Calm Home. Oh. And I Feng swayed my room with chat GPT. So part of what I did to prepare and get ready for this move was to redo my room. And when I looked back through what I was writing at the beginning of the quarter, I was already writing about making space downsizing, clearing out cleansing, which is part of manifestation process, right?

The first thing you do is make room. To become that person you wanna be. And I was like, so I got the dresser outta here, got the bed out, like this big furniture that was in here. I have the master bedroom at this home with the bath attached. And this is really like my space. So this is my sleep space, my workspace, my podcast space.

Kind of like the rig. But now I'm in a room in the house now, right. So, and it's a big room, but this furniture was taking up so much of it. So you guys, I got a little, Lexi had a day bed at her house that I loved. I'm like, I need this. I want a little day bed. So I got myself a little day bed with like this huge mattress that's like, I'm a princess in the pea.

Then I've got my standing up desk. But I, I went to chat. I said, okay, let's feng shui my, my room. And by the way, I found this as really good for like, if you lean toward the A DHD brain a little bit, it's really good to feng shui. It gives you that calming piece, all of that. So I'm gonna have my health and wealth corner.

I'll start posting some of this on social so you guys can see what I did when I get finished with it. Got my bed, got my. Like just my little bookshelves that are gonna go over on my work wall. And then I've got my fame corner, which is where my podcasting chair is. Can you hear my fame in my voice right now?

It's what they call it, fame and. Uh, I forget what else they fame in something corner. And then I've got my like spiritual meditation workout area, right? I've got my big gorgeous mirror and my, um, my little altar with all my. Yoga stuff. My shiva and you know, my little Buddha thing and my crystals, and I've got my yoga mat, which I roll up.

I got a thing to put it up on the wall. That's gonna be cool too. And so I'm already feeling like I walk in and I'm like, like that. Like it. It's like a load off, having my own things and my own design, and then Feng shu it. So I'm gonna see what this does. This is the first time I've added Feng shui into what it, like what I do.

And human design is new for me too. So this is all like so exciting. I love to just learn more about myself. Don't you guys love to learn about yourself? I think once we. Learn more, we can say, Hey, yeah, that's for me, not for me. Like as you're in, I have a very strong intuition naturally according to my human design.

And I'm like, that makes so much sense to me. 'cause I've always been like, yes, that feels good. No, that does not. Like, that's been pretty strong for me. And if you don't have a strong intuition, you might be more like, Hey, I need to make a pros and cons list and think about this. Right, and how do you tap into that body feeling into that intuition?

That might be something not defined for you, which means it comes from outside of you. Maybe you need input coming in from spirit, right? Maybe it's not generated from within you. I think understanding some of these things is. So awesome. It's just so, it's just another layer of uncovering the magic of who we are, you know?

So the last, but thing I had was finance. And why do I want it is freedom. So guess what I got was the freedom, right? Like, and my human design says, listen, if you chase your dreams, abundance will come. Right, and I was like, and isn't that just true? When we're living in joy, when we are expressing exactly who we're meant to be in this world, endearing to step into our authentic selves, everything else just flows.

It just, what if it's that simple, you guys? What if it's so simple that you just have to start really saying, what is it I truly want? What is it I really desire? Have you guys watched Lucifer? Every time I say this now I think of this show. It's uh, it's on Netflix if you guys haven't watched it, but it's like the devil coming.

He lives in Los Angeles now. It's really good, by the way, but he, uh, he looks at people and says. What is it you truly desire? And like this weird voice with his spooky eyes and then they tell them him their deepest, darkest secret, right? Like of what they really want, like this guy wanting to be a prima ballerina or you know, like that deep, dark.

What is it I desire and how great would it be? If I was that magic voice for, I'm gonna do it right now. You guys okay? Close your eyes. No, keep 'em open. Pretend I'm scary. Lucifer staring at you and I'm saying, yo witchy bitch. What is it you truly desire and what comes up for you? You know, what is that thing you were scared to say that thing?

You know what it's been brought up for me this past week is how I used to stand in the mirror. I can't believe I'm telling you guys this so embarrassing. So I used to stand in the mirror. I can see still on my little, our, not our little haws. It was, you know, decent whatever that in our house on heart.

Street and I would be in the bathroom and I would stand in the mirror just looking at myself, talking and speaking and smiling and laughing, and I don't even, you guys, I don't even know what I was talking about. I was pretending like I was on tv. I would say I was around. Between like maybe between eight and 10 or something.

I would do this for hours. And today as I was writing and I got into flow where it was more spirit than me coming outta my pen and it said add, you know? Do you remember when you were doing this? Like, and remember when you wanted to go to Emory Riddle and get a degree in journalism so you could be on tv?

That's why I want, I wanted to go to be on tv. Millie wants to be a journalist so she can investigate the world and hold everyone accountable. I wanted to be on tv. I wanted to speak and share and just like use my voice, you know? Also, part of my human design, you guys like to reach. What I am meant to do is to put my voice into the world.

So I'm like, well, that's spot on. That's where I feel most comfortable when I started, once I started going live on Facebook. Podcasting. Like it just felt good. So don't ignore that embarrassing little thing you dare to dream to be. It might not look exactly like you think. It'll look like making a YouTube channel.

Who would even no one in when they're eight in the eighties would've known about? A YouTube channel, right? Like it was like, but it's all very similar, right? It's very similar to that. So I think last week I talked about that a little bit. If you didn't listen to the Fun podcast about what things did you like to do when you were little, you know.

So, oh my gosh, you guys, this is a long podcast for me, so I hope you've enjoyed hearing where I'm at right now. So I'm in creation mode, hiring my team, getting ready to launch some cool ass shit, and I can't wait to share it with you guys and bring you in and share this with some witchy bitches that might need to say, you know, what is it you truly desire?

What if it is about that? What if you're fat? You have fat on your body, or you're in a miserable relationship, or you're wherever because you're refusing to listen to that little voice within you that is here to tell you, this is sounds really cool. We should do this. Right. And instead we shove it down and ignore it and just go on with our lives because we're supposed to get the paycheck.

You know, get the big fence, picket, fence, all that shit, right? Retire and sit on the beach with a margarita in your hand. And for what? For the rest of your life, you know? And now at this age, we know we can't handle our liquor like that anymore. Not only will it kill your liver, but like nobody wants to feel like that the next day.

Forget that, you know, I wanna wake up and do yoga and feel the sunshine on my face. What do you want it to look like? I can't wait to keep sharing with you guys and seeing what's coming next. And thank you for all the birthday wishes and being here with me on the podcast another year. I can't wait to see what 53 brings and it's gonna be huge and, uh, so much fun.

So what do you dare do? I wanna hear all about it. You guys check in with me on social, text me, call me, whatever. Find me. Pretty soon we'll all be hanging together in my cool new community that is truly going to be community. You guys are gonna be stoked. I, God, I hope I'm not overselling it, but I think you'll have a similar experience and we are just gonna change.

How we use our phones and what we use them for and how we use them for connection and not to doom, scroll and make us feel like shit. So, alright you guys. Send this to a friend that needs to hear. Rate it. I need a Spotify review. Get over there, hop over there, gimme a review. I'd love it. And until next week.

You awesome witches and bitches Slayer out.