S3 Ep 210: 3 Days Until I Quit My Job (Again): Fear, Weight Regain & Becoming Her

What happens when you’re three days away from leaving your job… again?

In this episode, Addie B — aka Slayer (her alter ego)— shares a raw, unfiltered check-in as she stands on the edge of another leap: leaving corporate America, stepping fully into CEO mode, and rebuilding her life from the inside out.

This isn’t just a weight-loss (again) story.
 It’s a becoming story.

After losing over 120 pounds, experiencing major health challenges, regaining weight, and navigating deep fear, Addie opens up about what really drives transformation — and why habits, environment, and self-trust matter more than perfection.

You’ll hear about:

• What it feels like to wake up every morning in a ball of fear — and move anyway
• The emotional side of weight regain (and why nothing is “wrong” with you)
• GLP-1s, inflammation, food noise, and the mental work behind it all
• Why your habits are your identity — and how to rebuild them
• Leaving “hobby mode” behind and stepping into CEO energy
• Why fun, community, and being real matter more than looking polished
• The power of tiny daily actions that compound into massive life change

This episode is for you if:

• You’re craving a bigger life but scared to leap
• You’ve lost weight, regained it, or feel stuck in old patterns
• You know you’re meant for more — and don’t know how to bridge the gap
• You’re done taking care of everyone except yourself

If you’ve ever asked “Why not me?” — this one’s for you.

🎧 Listen in. Watch on YouTube. And come slay with us.

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Transcript

Addie Kahele (00:00)
Hey, I'm Addie B, also known as Slayer of Namaslayer. This is my alter ego name. And this is the Me First Midlife Badassery podcast. Through my quest as I was losing over 100 pounds, left corporate America, and really had this big soul awakening, I found my magic inside and I started sharing it with everybody. And then I found myself starting over again.

regaining weight and refining myself creating the life of my dreams and watching the weight come off. So I invite you to join me on this ride, which is so much more than just a weight loss journey, but that is always what I'm talking about because when my life feels

big and heavy, I tend to get big and heavy. So we're gonna slay this MFer and I'm here to invite you on the ride with me. And this is my first podcast I'm moving over to YouTube from just doing audio. So this is a little weird and a little strange for me to be talking and looking at myself. Thank God I have yours on the Facebook, right? I have...

so much to share with you guys today. Not only am I learning new technologies, setting up new systems, I have decided to leave my corporate job again and I've been there for about two and a half years. have three days, count them, three, ⁓ that's six, three, if you're on the audio I was doing a Slayer moment there. So three days you guys until I'm done and it's...

coming and it's coming fast. feel like I've done a lot of things to prep myself. I gave notice in like toward the end of October and it's mid December. I've given them plenty of time and I gave myself time also to set some things up that I really wanted to have solid like ⁓ some of my technology I wanted to get in place and really looking at my business from a different aspect. This is just proof you guys like everything we go to do.

as we fail over and over again, as we keep learning and growing, we just get better and better. Like I'm starting at a space now with so much more understanding than I did when I set out, you know, seven years ago and started coaching and getting life coaching certificates and going through this whole myriad of different trainings and learnings, learning to teach meditation, becoming a yoga instructor, just constantly learning so I can

first for myself and then how do I use that to help others as I'm sharing my story in the world and people are reaching out and being like, my God, that hit home for me too. Like maybe you've been through a weight gain recently like I have, or perhaps like you've been on a GLP-1 and you know you're gonna get off it and perhaps have to like deal with some of the mental load that comes with that. I know in one of the groups I'm in and with No BS Women, there's quite a few women on

the drugs, right? And I think part of that conversation is they're doing the work at the same time because there's a lot of emotional work behind it. But what does that look like for you when you get off this type of drug and get back into, I'm to say real life, but you know, this is what I think. Because my doctor and I talked about a GLP-1 as well. And I was just like, you know, let me

get my life because I struggle with lot of inflammation and she brought it up to help with my inflammation. already take Dupixent to help with inflammation regarding eczema, skin rashes, stuff like that. So she said, you know, maybe this would help with additional inflammation blockers because I'm like off the charts. Like they're like, how are you walking around? I'm like, I don't know. I'm just badass. Just kidding. You got to have ego to sit here. What are you going to do? Blow me up comments.

I'll probably be lucky if ten of you come see me come see me. I'm just kidding. So Anyhow you guys so much going on this week and back to the GLP one and I told her I said look I am doing this I've lost 120 pounds before and I've I had kept it off for a while and then I had all these health things issued I Ish or occur I? uprooted my life

moved across the ocean to be here with my oldest child while she's finishing up high school and just had my entire world rocked and is setting up those habits. Like I didn't realize how much of my environment had aided in that weight loss, right? And also knowing, this is what I started to tell you guys about the GLP-1, when I hear people talk about it, they're like, it's just the food noise is gone.

I was there at such a part of my journey. In fact, if you go back and listen to past episodes of this podcast, and you might have to go to audio if you're watching on YouTube for this stuff, but you can hear me as I was gluten-free, flour sugar-free, as I was getting into fasting and understanding my body more and how much I didn't really need food and how great my body felt in fact when I cleansed it from food. If you go back and you can hear,

all of that throughout my journey. And I remember thinking it was just amazing. Like when I stopped drinking the first time and realized, you know what, I went through the whole wine aisle and I didn't even want the wine. I was like, whoa, right? Like that was a big deal the first time that happened. And now it's like, I'm like, I have to like really go out of my way to think about it, right? And that's how like flour and sugar became. And then when I started having all these physical issues, I...

got back into just my brain went back to old habits. And I love how one of my mentors, Karen Kravchik, who runs No BS Weight Loss, and the group I was speaking of earlier, when she talks about, you know, when you're regaining, nothing is wrong with you, right? Your brain, nothing's wrong with you. You aren't like totally fucked because you went and gained some weight, right? This has just happened because you haven't dealt with the circumstance before. You didn't deal...

with whatever you needed to deal with that is underlying. And so much of it, you guys, our habits are who we are, right? And thank God, like my morning habits I have retained, and this is part of what's getting me through right now, because let me tell you, leaving your job in three days, not really having a safety net, just being like, balls out, let's go, let's do it, right? Like having that three days, I wake up in this like ball of fear almost every fucking morning, like.

What are you doing, Ad? Like, what are you doing? You know? And then I meditate. I do my magic morning pages. Julia Cameron hack there, if you haven't done them yet. Gets all that crap out of my brain. And then I start to really see what's in my brain. And then through the Me First Guide process, I created part of my daily plan. I'm rewriting those shitty thoughts. So I get my shitty thoughts out. I create this vision. I see my future self-vision. get, how do you really feel?

Right? Like what's in there that's holding you back from being that right now. I write that out and then I'm like rewiring myself. Who am I meant to be? And so through this process, every single day I'm slowly, but surely into this next version of myself. I did not intend to leave my job this soon.

Can you delete that?

I'm wondering if my new software will just delete burps and stuff. Okay, we'll just leave that in. Because I think that's what makes it fun, right? Like we all burp and fart. It just is what it is. And if you don't think it's kind of funny, then you're probably not my person anyway. Like here's, I'm in this community I'm having so much fun in and yeah, I'm squirreling all over the place now, but we had a gift war in there.

And I was like, Oh my God, this is the most fun I've had since I was like 10. Like I, my gift can be your gift, right? It's amazing. Like how we can, we forget like just stupid shit like that can bring so much fun and joy in our lives. And that's why I can't wait till we're all in my new community together, but that's coming. Okay. So the fear. So I wake up in this ball of fear, right? And then I manage my mind through it. And these are habits I created over

A period of, I would say, like a year and a half during like the height of my original transformation, where I lost 120 pounds, bought an RV, traveled the country. When I was doing all of that, I had solidified these habits and they've really stayed with me except when I got really sick. And I just, was all I could do is to roll out of bed and get to work type of thing. You know, I was just so inflamed and it was just pretty miserable. And so I...

once I realized, I'm like, my God, I'm missing so much of this. I just doubled down, right? I was like, you have to get your plan in Slayer. Like I just went back to the basics. I focused on that one plan. And this is what we're going to do. Part of like the original, like we're going to come in and we're going to do a 90 day slay together, right? Like we're

just going to like out the gate, just push that one habit, right? That one thing that's going to drive you to that 10 pound weight loss in that 90 days, right? And it all is about just showing up for yourself. And what is that for you that pushes you beyond the limit? You know, what does that look like? So for me, it's doing these things like clearing my mind out, managing my mind, daring to say, hey, what does that look like? Why not me?

Like every morning, why not me? Why couldn't I do this? I'm a spiritual being having a human experience. All right? Like, why not let it be fun? Why are we taking ourselves so fucking seriously all the time? And yeah, when you're sick, it feels pretty hard to do that, right? And it can feel hard to do that just when you're running day to day. So many of us are just taking care of everyone and everything but ourselves, right? And being back in the grind again, I called it. I was sitting in my car two and a half hours a day.

working eight to nine hours a day, easy. Maybe some nights going to pick my daughter up, which was another 45 minutes on the commute. having this just, it just didn't stop. I felt there was no space for me, even with doing my things. So I think it was a real homecoming for me, a big reality, Chuck, as I feel like through my first transformation.

And I think we can see this a lot through people we watch and see transform out there, right? I become this version of me and I almost forgot what that version of me was like. Like I was like, ⁓ I'm past that, I'm not that. And how easy it was to just slip back into that old habit brain that ate for comfort, right? And knowing that and allowing myself to do it. And I'm not even judging myself for that right now, just so we're clear, you guys. was...

I knew what was happening. was watching the scale move because I'm always, don't run or hide and shame from it. I've been here on the podcast sharing with you guys as I was going through all of this and seeing myself eat all the things and getting back up over and over again. And I was, it just hit me so clearly when I was asking for clarity. I was doing this abundance book asking for clarity and it was like, you know,

You just create the life you want to live. And my human design is this. It's create the life you want to live and the rest is gonna unfold. Just go friggin' live your life you wanna live already. And that looks like all those morning things I told you about and getting my yoga practice back in and walking in the pool in the morning, maybe getting some laps in, talking to the other old ladies out there, right? I'm like, my God, I'm part of the swim club morning old lady club.

which I've been a lifelong swimmer, like a competitive swimmer being young and you'd always see the ladies with their little caps on doing their water aerobics. Now, I'm not a water aerobic person. That does make me think of my mother though, but I'm not a water aerobic person, but I do like to walk the lazy river. I get out, my legs are shaken, you know, but it's great for my skin because I'm not out in...

the elements of Hawaii sweating, because the sweat instigates it, right? So the water keeps me cool while I'm getting a good workout. So I found that has worked. I've just been troubleshooting everything, you guys. So we have about a year and a half until Millie graduates. And then my game plan is to go back to the desert because nothing lives there. So my body likes it there. OK, you guys, so back to this week and just feeling this excitement and there.

the reminder of this excitement as you step into the unknown, as you dare to start to believe that you could be the person that loses a hundred pounds, leaves her job. Like, how do you feel when you're there? And where is that gap we're bridging as we're going? So every morning when I'm waking up in that ball of fear and I'm writing myself out the other side, and there's still that fear and that excitement in there, but it's a different kind of fear, right? It's...

the kind of fear that you're like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm friggin doing this. Like right now, I can't believe I'm recording this on a video. If I post this to YouTube, that'll be a whole nother thing. But I'm like, I'm just doing it. Just sign up and do it, add like what you keep studying things. And, you know, I'm like, yeah, this looks shitty. I don't have my background done and I don't have my makeup on and my hair's a little matted. OK, maybe I shouldn't post it. This is the real shit, you guys. Here's the thing.

Like we're heading into this AI world, this bot world, and I love a lot of AI, but I also like want to hang out with real people. And what I'm creating is going to be that, where we're all hanging out with real people, with other women that are on the ride that want to create a better lives for themselves, you know, and whether that's with your weight loss and your body. I talk about that a lot. So.

tends to be what a lot of us talk about. I think even when we're healthy, even like my aunt who's like super skinny, right? Like we talk about health shit all the time and biohacking. I already told her, I said, Mary, you gotta have a biohacking corner in my new group. So we gotta ask you all the new shit, right? She's like, I don't know when she's 67, 68 now, somewhere around there. And just looks phenomenal, but she's doing like all the things to try to protect herself, you know, like from the inside out. So I'm always.

like in on that because like I have so many avenues to consume from.

Addie Kahele (14:45)
So I'm going to have so much more to share with you guys coming up as I kick off season four, which will be most likely after the holidays. And I really want to go back and revisit some of the major game changers on the beginning of my journey and talk about it with my reference now and how they are just like the big ones, right? Like the big leap in Einstein time and.

Julia Cameron's work in the artist way, like what game changing shit that is. And what are the key points where we can take away maybe just one little nugget every week to move ourselves forward. You know, that's always my thought is what tiny little action can I take that's gonna move me forward? We know about the compound effect, right? That's another good one. Like all these tiny little actions adding up.

to where all of a sudden you're leaving your job. All of a sudden you are the person living the life that is 100 pounds thinner, living her, spit it out, Slayer. Living her dream life, right? All of a sudden you're like, holy shit, right? That's the emotion. So every morning as I create this vision and I think about the feeling of when I achieved those.

things in those spaces. It was like, my God, I can't believe I really did this, you know, like that's the feeling. And that's kind of the excitement I have right now. Right. my God, I can't believe I really did this. How do you keep stepping forward in the face of that fear? Because our bodies want to keep us safe. So we're to be getting into that a lot. And if you are looking for transformation, it's going to be right up your alley. Because if you dare, if you dare to fucking step in and say, you know what? I can.

and I will, and I'm curious, then this is the place for you, because we're gonna do it together. And I couldn't even be more excited to be the sister on your ride, the slayer by your side. See what I did there? All right, witches and bitches, that's all for this week. We're just wrapping the year up. I'm gonna keep you posted. Next week, I wanna share with you what it's like really being done with the job, right? It's been a little chaotic as I've been winding down.

from this one, but next week as I come out of, you know, like two and a half years of just struggling to try to reframe my mind and make myself love where I was at, realizing that I needed to make a move because I'm being called to do something bigger and something greater. And so we'll see how I feel after actually gone and I'm in charge of my own time. And I've set a lot of things up.

for myself to be successful this time as I head into CEO mode, not hobby mode. So I'm excited to see how many more witches and bitches can come on the ride with us and just change their lives as so many of you guys have. All right, I love you and until next week, slayer out.