S4 Ep 217: What’s Your Weight Loss Alter Ego? The 4 Archetypes That Shape Your Results

Have you ever felt like the version of you who lost weight before… just doesn’t work anymore?

Or like you keep starting strong, then something shifts — and you can’t figure out why?

It’s not a willpower problem.

It’s an identity pattern.

In this episode, I’m breaking down the 4 Weight Loss Alter Ego Archetypes and how building an intentional alter ego can change the way you approach food, habits, discipline, and self-trust.

Because sustainable weight loss isn’t about trying harder.

It’s about becoming the right version of you.

In This Episode We Explore:

• Why alter egos aren’t fake — they’re identity tools
• How archetypes explain your change pattern
• Why discipline alone doesn’t work long-term
• The difference between forcing change and embodying it
• How to invoke the right archetype before your next decision

The 4 Weight Loss Archetypes

🧙‍♀️ The Witch
Needs safety, nervous system regulation, and reconnection before change sticks.

🛡️ The Warrior
Thrives on structure and follow-through — but burns out when intensity replaces sustainability.

👑 The Queen
Transforms when self-respect replaces self-abandonment and people-pleasing.

🔥🧪 The Alchemist
Reinvents and evolves when old identities no longer fit.

The Core Truth

You don’t eat differently because of discipline.
You eat differently because of who is online.

Habits stick when they match identity.
 Identity stabilizes through embodiment.

Weight loss becomes sustainable when it’s a side effect of who you’re being — not what you’re forcing.

Try This

Before your next meal, walk, or decision, pause and ask:

Which archetype do I need right now?

Then let her lead.

If this episode resonated, share it with another woman who’s ready to stop fighting herself and start evolving.

And if you’re ready to go deeper into building your alter ego and embodying your next identity, the Alter Ego Lab is open in the Midlife Badassery Skool community.

You don’t need more rules.
 You need the right version of you leading.

Join SKOOL community Midlife Badassery is open HERE

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Transcript

 see if you can tell what archetype you are. Just think if maybe the solution to all your weight loss dreams was just dialing into who's been driving the wheel the whole time and maybe who you need to tap into to get to that next level of you. So we're gonna dive in today and I was so curious to see who you think your archetype is. have four we're working with here.

So you're either gonna identify with the witch, maybe she needs a little safety over strategy, versus the warrior who's more consistency over drama. ⁓

Take that for what it's worth a queen who?

see if you can tell which archetype you are today. We're going to dive in. There's four different archetypes you could be. And once you know who has been driving the wheel and how you identify with your archetype, it's so much easier to create transformation and get to that outcome you want to be or that thing you need inside of you. know, maybe you're the witch who looks for, needs safety over strategy. Maybe you're the warrior.

who wants consistency over a bunch of drama. Maybe you're the queen who needs standards or the alchemist who's like shutting herself, like shutting that extra layer and that skin becoming this new version of herself. So I'm curious which of these archetypes you see yourself in. And at the end, I'm also going to share with you your superpower for each of these archetypes and

a way you can get involved with them even more. So let's have some fun and drop in the comments when you're like, yeah, that's me, Addie I hear

ya.

When I first started out on my weight loss quest back in 2018, well, I shouldn't say first, it's been a lifelong quest, if you guys know what I mean. The quest that transformed my life, that makes me so confident to sit here and do this out loud with you, yes, as a coach, but as someone that's doing it myself again. And not having lost myself on the way this last time, which is important, and I think I owe it a lot.

to my archetype and my alter ego I built. when I was over 300 pounds, I couldn't imagine being under 200 pounds. It just seemed like just so far away from reality. And you know, they always say to envision it and create it. And this is how I find a lot of people come into the work with me. Like, we've forgotten how to dream and vision for ourselves anymore. You know, what does that even look like?

I set out about creating this alter ego

and I didn't know then what I know about archetypes now. I modeled her after this warrior. I found her on a checkout aisle at Target like a year after I made Slayer, but it's really good to have a totem like something you can like anchor your alter ego to.

But back in 2018, know, Slayer was this energy slaying goals. was very like active, like I want to say like male dominant energy, right? Which I do have a lot in me. I have a lot of energy centers lit up but what Slayer did for me, you guys, was I would just ask her, I would say, Hey, what would Slayer do today? How would Slayer look at this? Right. And it helps you give a

third view perspective of yourself to where you're not sitting in judgment of yourself or having eaten a thing

or not showing up for your plan, how you wanted to, ⁓ look me again, right? I really started to be able to come into this observer of self along with meditation. These things kind of happened around that same time. So, so much of the work I do is around future self creation. Who do I want to become? What does she look like? And the alter ego helps us bridge that gap. It's like Lady Gaga, right? Stephanie is Lady Gaga. She created this figure, this Lady Gaga.

right? And now she says she's one in the same with it. And I identify with that because my kids call me Slayer now. a fair warning to name yourself something that doesn't go with an eighties band. Cause that's what you'll get when you Google me. Okay.

Let's find out what archetype you are. if you're a witch, you're deep in the intuition, regulation, reconnection. Here's where you're going to either recognize yourself or not. If you're offline, if you're not,

grooving with her. If your witch isn't in alignment, you'll have major distrust of your body. You're going to obsess over rules, overwhelmed by structure. So you're the people that like when I say, hey, come to a planning event, you're like, planning, no. Right. If that resonates with you, say, yeah, that's me, Slayer. yeah. You're also the all or nothing people. Like I'm either all in or not at all.

And nervous systems are often deregulated here, which makes sense because that sounds very stressful, right? And cravings can equal stress. So knowing this, you can see how this can put you into awareness. And we do some work that moves us from, OK, I'm seeing myself in all or nothing. How do I move myself into something is better than nothing mode? when you're in alignment,

As a witch, you listen before you react, and you slow down, you eat with awareness, you nourish over punish, you regulate over restriction. And then you really honor rest too. Like when your body needs to rest you're like, I'm there. OK? So this is the witch. And this makes me think of a client I was talking to this week.

She didn't like what the scale said and it brought up all these thoughts. So we were talking through some of the scale thoughts

What do you think the resistance is to what the scale is saying or how you want to show up? And she said pretty profound things. She said, I don't feel like it's in alignment. And she said, but I think that I could just be saying that as a bullshit excuse that, it's not in alignment so I can eat all the shit I want to eat. I said, OK, that's great.

What does it look like if your food is in alignment? Let's take the scale out of it. In fact, I don't even want you to weigh in on the scale this week. And the whole group like dropped their mouse because like I'm a big scale weir, but that's also my archetype, right? So there's a lot of data behind that. But I said, Hey, what if we just don't even weigh in this week? What does your food alignment look like? What does it look like then if you just eat from

alignment of food, which is what you're telling me correctly, right? And she's like, yeah. And I'm like, okay, that's it. Just eat in alignment. And then you can do your weekly weigh-in on Sunday. And I checked up with her a couple of days ago, asked how she was doing. And she said she's in there, but it's hard to not check, right? Because she feels like she's eating in alignment. So all the rewards should be there. Do you see what we do to that?

Like if I'm eating in alignment and it doesn't show up on the scale for some reason, then what have I made that mean about me? I've made it mean I'm a failure. I've made it mean like all of these things, right? So when we can step into awareness, we're observing ourselves do that. This is where the game change and shit is, right? Because now we've taken away that scale bull shit and we said, okay, you're just going to eat in alignment. What comes up when you just eat in alignment? And this is the work of the witch.

And if funny enough, I don't think she's identifying as a witch, I was like, ⁓ okay, this is it. Like overwhelmed, assessed over rules, like that perfectionist, right? Which so many of us are. So signature energy of the witch is soft power. Do you love that? Soft.

I picture like balls of light that doesn't look good.

Like light shooting from my hands or something if I were a witch and to have superpower, you know. Okay, edit that out, Add. Okay, her mantra is let me listen, right? And that's exactly what this client is doing this week. She's just listening. Hey, is this an alignment or not? Her word of the year is align. I'm like, all right, let's run with it.

Yeah. And don't forget, you guys, hang in because I'm going to share. So this is the witch archetype. So you're either identifying with the witch, the alchemist, the queen, or the warrior. And at the end, I'll give you your weight loss superpowers for each archetype. How fun is that, right?

Okay, the second one we have is the Alchemist. And Alchemist is this reinvention...

identity shift evolution of self. This is your shedding the skin and you guys, this can be like the caterpillar, right? Like she's in the cocoon and she starts to shed the skin. It can be painful coming out of it. And this is like, I feel like I had so many dark nights of the soul on my spiritual weight loss quest. I don't know if you guys have experienced this.

But often I bet these alchemists are in a dark night of the soul. Like who am I? Right? When they're offline, they're lost in their body. They're saying things like, I don't even recognize myself anymore. They change to an, they're cling to an old identity or they go back to a past identity and they have shame about the change. This is like so mean for the two and a half years where I was

not living in my purpose and having my soul sucked out. This is like me to a T I'm like, Oh my God, no wonder Slayer wasn't fitting anymore. I was a friggin alchemist. Right? So, okay, sorry. Back to you. So either if you feel lost in your body, I don't recognize myself anymore. You're clinging to an old identity, shame about change. You have fear of

becoming that new version of you, right? Like you want to see, your brain wants to keep you safe back here. This is all our offline showing of being an alchemist.

So when you're in alignment, the weight shift equals the data, right? It's not a failure. And you're rewriting your identity here. You're stepping into a new version of yourself. You experiment, you embrace change, you're evolving, you have this very forward motion. And the energy of the alchemist is expansion. And the mantra for

is I'm becoming. when I look back and I'm just want to share this with you guys in case you're in that space.

When I look back at the last two and a half years before I made this major life shift to get back to doing what I was freaking meant to do, I was being here with you baby. Before I made that shift you guys, I was just trying everything so hard and when we get to my archetype I'll see that too, but I was in this. I didn't recognize myself.

I shifted to an old identity. fell into the safety and nourishment of food again because my soul was in there just banging on the frigging walls, right? Which I didn't learn my lesson the first time, I guess. I had to go through another one, you know? So two and a half years of that, ignoring that calling with inside myself and becoming, this new version, which my alter ego bot named me the Stead fast Slayer.

So my mission now is to be able to stay in it. And that gets interesting, but I'll talk more when we get to the Warrior.

the third archetype I'm going to talk about today is the queen. And so the queen, as you would imagine, has standards, self-respect, boundaries, and her core need is worthiness. Okay, so if a queen is offline, my daughter is a queen, by the way, very much, so she was like, I'm a queen. She knew right away. Offline, you appear as a people pleaser.

You negotiate with yourself like all the time. You're constantly making little bargains with yourself. you over give and so therefore you overeat. It can be at work. It can be in a relationship. It can be of your time. Like you're always just giving, right? Which as women, already do anyway. So you add this archetype on top of it and you're like, ⁓ you can feel like you're drowning in it. you avoid boundaries, right? And you seek.

validation from others, which we all do to some extent. That's what we're born to want to be accepted and with people, right? So, but the queen will feel this quite a bit. When you're in alignment as a queen, you make fast decisions, you're a boundary setter around your time, your food, your energy, you really good boundaries, right? You don't over explain stuff.

I see this in my daughter so much. Like she's really good at doing boundaries. She's almost got this whole thing nailed. So you eat from self respect and she does this too. She'll plate her food and like when she's really in her health game, right? She plates her food. She honors it. And I just, I like shove my food in my face. think so. I really try. I'm like 35 chews ad. Enjoy your food.

Rast, nourish, right? Like the queens are really good at this out of self-respect. And they stop tolerating what doesn't serve her. So this might look like getting out of relationships that don't serve you anymore. You know, you might be surprised what you step away from that impacts your health journey. You know, that's what I found on my, when I lost 120 pounds, it was so not about the fat, you guys.

Like I know we think we're all here for the skinnier body. Well, at this stage, we're all here to stay out of the nursing home. But like, we still want to look good, right? You want to look and feel good and be comfortable in your body.

Okay, so the Queen's signature energy is composed authority. Like when she is in alignment, composed authority. Can you just see that? Totally. And the mantra for her is, that's no longer available to me. It's just a very clear boundary. Like I see them being the people that quit smoking and they're like, no, I just don't do that anymore.

I have to go through a lot more shit for that to happen. Let me tell you. Okay. All right. And finally we get to the warrior. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. This was me. So I am back in the day. I even had leather and a sword and all of that too. I thought about getting another sword again, but I just haven't. So, and now that I know I'm the steadfast slayer, maybe I need a new icon for that. Maybe there's no swords anymore. Maybe I'm, um, steadfast in my healing vibration or something.

the warrior is consistency, structure, follow through. When she's offline, she starts out strong and quits fast, 100%. She chases motivation.

She's an emotional decision maker, which is interesting because that's totally in alignment with my human design. A lot of this is. The whole I'll start on Monday, that's us warriors. And we're very momentum dependent. ⁓ So knowing this about yourself can really help, hey, becoming that steadfast slayer, the one that shows up no matter what. So in alignment, we show up imperfectly. I show up here.

When I'm in alignment, I show up here and don't give a shit what all this looks like, right? Like if my hair is done, like I'm just in alignment, I'm on fire, I'm showing up anyway, I'm doing it. I'm going to the pool even if I don't feel like it. I'm going to get there, right? I keep promises to myself when I'm in alignment.

track consistently and you don't panic at setbacks. We're very good at that, very good future focused and you follow the plan from clarity. And this was when I was in no BS weight loss. I'm still actually in with Corinne Crabtree. This is one of the big things that she has you do is make a 24 hour plan.

Now I made a planner, right? Like I got so into planning. I had to design my own planner to get my head out of my ass every day. Right? ⁓ the 24 hour plan. Just writing down your food and honoring it for 24 hours is a game changer. Like you see so much shit come up for yourself. And when I'm like rebel to.

So when I write my food down, when I go to eat that food, I don't want that friggin food. You guys identify with this? Like I want something else, right? So this is part of it. did you identify one of these that are you? I would love to hear in the comments. Are you the witch? Are you the alchemist, the queen or the warrior? Remember we're the witch, the intuition regulation.

the alchemist, the shedding the old self, very identity-based, the Queen, Sanders, self-respect, boundaries, and the warrior consistency, structure, follow through. We love a good plan. ⁓ That's me. I do love a good plan.

Okay, who wants to hear their superpowers?

The witch's superpower is ending the war with her body, right? This is when you stop battling everything that's going on. You get out of judgment with your body, that whole nine yards, right? This is your superpower, making change sustainable where it feels safe when you're in a line.

If you work on those ways to get to alignment and you can work with the GPT on that, you can come work in the group on yourself with journaling, however you want to start digging in, what does that look like when you're making sustainable, safe change where it feels good in your body?

And then what about the alchemist you guys, if you're an alchemist, any alchemist that you guys identify with that, you are going to make transformation permanent and anchor habits in those identities. So you're shedding it. You're letting go of that old self and you're bringing in a new self. So for you, I would say it's going be really important. You want to know what that new self looks like. I think it's easy for us to just like let life happen to us. Like get really clear about that future.

your self-vision and what she looks like. And the queen, she removes self-sabotage. So she's figured out where she's sabotaging herself and she's removed that. She's set the boundaries, she ends all the emotional bargaining bullshit. She's like, she's the queen. She's stepping in her calm authority, right? And then we have the warrior.

The warrior, hello fellow warriors, I feel like we should have a symbol. ⁓

She makes a momentum through repetition, right? So we like, through repeated tasks, and we make boring habits automatic, which is, if you know, like, I can find meditation boring. It's automatic now. Journaling might have been boring back in the day. Now it's automatic. Now I look forward to these things, but making them automatic was key to being in alignment, for sure. And when I got out of them, because I had gotten really sick,

My whole everything went to shit my health my body and my mindset everything went to shit and as soon as I just popped right back in that pocket and added in my afternoon meditation again boring repetition Things started to get in alignment the universe opening up the windows and the doors

I'm losing weight again. Wow. Imagine that, right? Okay. So these are the four types. Those are your superpowers. understanding where you are now, where you want to go, what areas do you want to focus on for yourself? I think this is part of the challenge as we're weight loss coaching or losing weight in groups together, different diets. We're all so friggin different, How do you tap into what you need at the same time? I'm a warrior leading.

it, right? Maybe you need to hear something the witch has to say about ending the war with her body. And this is the power of community, the power of group, the power of us doing this work together and sharing what's coming up with your archetype like these brave women did I share here today. Really daring to say, what if I stopped abusing thinking that food was punishment for my body? What if I start looking at it as a nourishment in alignment? What would it look like then?

getting curious and looking at things in a different way that might feel kind, might feel safe, might feel nurturing. Or maybe you need a kick in the ass every now and then.

slayer likes to do. know? By the way, I'm building a new bot and one of the options you can choose to get slayed. Do you need slayer today or do you need kind and helpful? Right? So okay you guys, that's all for this week. I hope to see you in the community. We have a lot of cool stuff coming up. I will be doing leading in person because I want to build it into the course, a manual alter ego evolution. So there's a little bit

that

we gather here from working with the GPTs, but there's something about deep diving into this process and really clearly defining her and who she is. And I'm not getting that from the bot. So I'm going to do that live in the group. So just come in the group. You guys come join us, check for links here. We're also, if you're watching this real time, we've got Human Design with Sheena Mason coming in and she's teaching us radical self-acceptance, which I

kind of be more excited about because human design is something I found recently that's another tool like understanding these archetypes, understanding the design of my body. ⁓

from a numeral astrological math plane, whatever all that human design's made up with, all I can tell you is it's spot freaking on, but it can feel complicated. So to figure out how to use this to also ⁓ just radically accept who we are, game changing shit, right? We're just doing some fun shit. Get in there, let it be what you want it to be for you. And I can't wait to hear about your archetypes and let me know all about it. Any big

Alright, until next week, Slay Your out!