S4 Ep 225: Scared AF… But I’m Doing It Anyway (Midlife Reinvention Over 50)

This one is real-time.

I’m in my car, because in the middle of building my next level some upperlimiting shit hit and we have to go to an eye appointment  😏 

This week TERROR hit me. I'm not even going to say scared. 

It like gripped me in my gut. 

Like “maybe I should just go back to what’s safe” kind of scared.

In this episode, I’m talking through what it actually looks like to be in the messy middle of midlife reinvention. Not the “I figured it out” version. The real version where fear shows up hard and you have to decide who you’re going to be anyway.

We get into:

•  The moment I almost chose the safe path 
•  What fear actually feels like in your body 
•  Building my alter ego (Brookster) while I’m still in it 
•  Why weight loss, identity, and business building are all connected 
•  Using data (scale + stats) without making it mean something about you 

If you’re over 50 and feeling that pull toward something bigger—but fear is loud—this is your reminder:

You don’t have to feel ready.
 You just have to stop playing small.

We can dream BIG AF and set into her. One little scary spell at a time ;)

LFGOOoooo!

Who are you creating? 

Come create with me... (in a non-creepy Generator 2/4 kinda way) #iykyk

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Free Visioning Meditation (goes with Ep 160 Unlock Your Future: Create Vision for Midlife Transformation)
 
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Transcript

 Recording through some fear today, you guys. Expanding my capacity to step into this next version of myself is not for the weak-hearted. Stay tuned.

It’s been a week, you guys. I turned down something that most people probably would have taken or stayed in at the point I’m at right now.

I’ve got you in the car with me because I’m like… is this upper limiting? All this stuff with my health? I’m in the middle of this big launch, creating this Alter Ego Masterclass, having so much fun building all the things. Saturday was awesome. I found a few new women that want to come into the MEfirst community.

Everything’s changing, you guys—even my niche is changing.

I’ve always shared through weight loss, and that’s been the lens. But the rooms I’m creating now? The conversations we’re having? They’re about big dreaming. Women starting businesses. What does the second half of my life look like? Who am I now?

Yeah, I’d like to lose some weight too. But we all know—that’s the side effect of everything else.

When you start dreaming big… when you start asking, “What would my life look like?”—of course you see her healthier, stronger, more alive. It’s not just about skinny jeans anymore. It’s about staying out of the nursing home.

That’s the energy of these rooms.

This is what we’ve always been doing on the Midlife Badassery Podcast. Future self. Alter ego. Playing big. Actually enjoying life.

So I’m in the middle of all of this—living my dreams, building my purpose—and then… what would have been my “dream job” lands in my lap.

And I had no energy for it.

Which is a red flag for me.

But I still started rationalizing it. Like, “Maybe this is the smart choice…”

And I caught myself.

I’m building Brookster in real time—my badass CEO alter ego. She’s based on this multimillionaire woman I know. She shows up. She decides. She executes.

And part of building an alter ego is having a talisman—something that activates her.

For Brookster? She doesn’t work in yoga pants. She puts real pants on.

That’s it. Low barrier. She gets ready and steps into the role.

And what I’m realizing is—Slayer, the version of me that lost weight, needs some attention too. Her foundation got a little weak.

Brookster is disciplined, structured, focused.
 Slayer is fun, adventurous—but still gets it done.

And having both? That’s powerful.

We’re building these in my group right now, and I’m watching women transform in real time.

But I realized something—I was running this like a challenge, and people weren’t fully getting through it. So I shifted it into a workshop. Because when we show up together… we get it done.

And then my coaches pushed me:
 “You need to invite people into your community.”

And I spiraled.

“I don’t have funnels.”
 “I don’t have emails.”
 “I don’t have it set up.”

And boom—my body reacts. My eyes get irritated. I start shutting down.

Meanwhile, the event was amazing. Women want in. And I don’t even have it fully built yet.

Classic.

But here’s the truth:

The alter ego is the identity.
 The MEfirst process is the becoming.

It’s the daily actions. The habits. The follow-through.

And now we’re doing both. Dreaming big AND executing.

I see moms realizing they don’t have to wait. They can build their dream life now—and show their kids what that looks like.

That’s how RV Slayer was created. I wasn’t living near my daughter at the time, so I created this version of me that took her on epic adventures across the country.

We made it work. And we wouldn’t trade that for anything.

Now Brookster is coming online—and she’s focused on results.

And what I realized?

She needs data.

Just like I use the scale for weight loss, she needs metrics in business. Something to track. Something neutral.

Because data is neutral.

Whether someone joins your program or not—that’s neutral.
 Just like the scale.

It doesn’t mean anything about you.

And I needed that reminder today.

Because I woke up in a ball of fear.

Like… full body terror.

And I’m watching myself like, “Is this upper limiting? What’s happening right now?”

It was everything I had just to get up and take action.

Thank God for my morning routine. My MEfirst Guide. That process pulled me out of it.

It helped me neutralize the fear enough to move.

Because here’s the truth:

When you’re in alignment, people come.
 That’s just what happens.

But you still have to show up.

You still have to invite.

And that’s scary for me.

Fear of rejection is real for me.

So yeah… I almost played small.

I almost took the safe job.

And my daughter even said, “You’re not doing that, right?”

And I was like… damn. It’s just fear.

Straight up.

I almost played small, you guys.

But I didn’t.

Because I’m stepping into the arena.

And that means feeling uncomfortable. It means being seen. It means risking rejection.

Taking the job would’ve been easier. Safer.

But that’s not the life I’m building.

And I want you to hear this:

Telling your story while you’re in it?
 That’s where the power is.

Not after you’ve figured it out.
 Not when it’s polished.

Right here. In the mud.

So no—I’m not going back.

I’m doing this anyway.

I took a day to deal with my eyes, got a plan from the doctor, and I’m still moving forward.

Because we get up. Over and over again.

And here we go.

At some point, this will all feel normal. I’ll have done these masterclasses hundreds of times. I’ll have helped thousands of women.

But right now?

This is the becoming.

And I love that I get to bring you along for it.

So yeah—ball of fear… and doing it anyway.

And if you’re feeling that too?

You’re probably right where you’re supposed to be.

Let’s go light this bitch up.

Alright… until next week.

Slayer out.