S4 Ep 232: My Weight Loss Alter Ego Came Back... and Brought a Friend | BTS Alter Ego Workshop

I thought I was bringing Slayer back.

You know... the weight loss alter ego who helped me lose 120 pounds and completely change my life.

I showed up to an Alter Ego workshop ready to resurrect her. Instead, I walked away with a surprising realization: the woman I need now isn't exactly the same woman I needed back then.

The weight is coming off.

The business is growing.

But my sacred morning time? The time that keeps me grounded, creative, and connected to myself? That's been getting hijacked.

In this behind-the-scenes episode, I'm pulling back the curtain on the exact Alter Ego process I teach inside MEFirst and sharing what happened when I used it on myself.

We talk about Slayer, Brookster, the Wine Wench, the Time Bandit, and why identity—not willpower—is what actually changes your life.

If you've ever felt like you're becoming someone new, or like the version of you that got you here might not be the version that gets you where you're going next, this episode is for you.

In This Episode:

✨ Why I originally created Slayer and how she helped me lose 120 pounds

✨ The surprising problem that showed up this time

✨ Why I think my new arch nemesis is The Time Bandit

✨ Future Self vs. Alter Ego—and why the distinction matters

✨ The role identity plays in lasting transformation

✨ Midlife, menopause, healing, and learning to work differently

✨ The question that changed everything for me:

What am I capable of doing that I'm not doing?

Grab a notebook and come behind the scenes with me.

Until then, witches and bitches...

Dream big.

Become her.

Chapter Markers

00:00 - My Weight Loss Alter Ego Returns

03:12 - Why I Needed Slayer Again

07:08 - The Problem Wasn't the Scale

10:42 - Current Reality vs. Wonder World

15:06 - The Health Journey Nobody Sees

19:20 - Identity Shifts and Lasting Change

24:14 - Midlife, Menopause & Energy

29:48 - The Question That Changed Everything

33:11 - Future Self vs. Alter Ego

38:05 - The Batman Effect

42:52 - Meeting a New Alter Ego

47:20 - The Wine Wench & The Time Bandit

52:04 - Creating New Beliefs

55:18 - My New Creed

57:04 - Slayer Out

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Transcript

Addie Beall (00:01)
I'm gonna show you guys a little behind the scenes today if you're watching on YouTube. And I'm gonna speak it for you guys listening in your ears as much as possible on today's midlife bannastery because I got a new alter ego. I was so surprised. I showed up to my event really wanting to resurrect Slayer, my weight loss alter ego. I built her in 2017, 2018, lost 120 pounds and

really stepped into this world of wonder and possibility, building this alter ego because it changes you at the level of belief. So we led this workshop today, and I thought, you know what it'd be really fun is if I show everybody how I'm gonna build Slayer again because

I've been working on Brookster, my CEO, Alter Ego. So you've been hearing a lot about her, but I did put Slayer back on to lose the weight. And what happened this week is that I saw myself give up my morning time almost every day during this week. And this is my protected sacred time. This is how I get up in the morning.

Get my head out of my ass for lack of a better term and slay the day. This is the process that takes me from anxiety and what the hell am I doing to ⁓ lighten the world up, right? Because it's not easy to get up and do this stuff every day when you haven't practiced doing it every day your whole life. So, anyhow, I thought this would be fun to screen share and show everyone as I'm going through it. What I did not expect.

Is that I would come out of it with a new alter ego now that I feel like I need a new name. yeah, we're just gonna have fun and I'm gonna whiz through this because it's 4 30 and your girls gotta eat. It's been a long day and I haven't eaten yet because I know once I eat, I'm like, that's done.

And I'm showing up here for the podcast. You're gonna see the inside of my Canvas screen over here, right? So I did this ⁓ virtually. So this part up top we kind of played as the group, but here is the work. So

This is my current reality and the world. And this is my alter ego badass. If you're driving in the car, you just take one side of your paper on the left side, you write your current reality. What limitations do you have? Old patterns showing up, overwhelm, plan small. What is it? Right. And your wonder world is this world that is full of possibilities, new beliefs, clarity,

For mine, I

like, I'm really feel like I'm in Hawaii, you guys, and this year has these last couple years have just been a health journey for me between allergies and eczema flares and all of this stuff going on. In fact, I hope this camera isn't too good because if it is, you're gonna see all my skin flaking today. And this

This is what brought me to the realization I needed a new alter ego because I got to a situation of a face flare because I was letting my me time in the morning be hijacked too much. I do think there's times with the coaching I'm doing and the time zone I'm in, I'm gonna need to show up early, but there's also times that I create that problem for myself. How many of you guys out there create your own problems?

Virtually all of us do. And so how can I protect that time better? Because my it's not even showing up on the scale anymore. I'm losing weight. Where it's showing up is I'm flaring. Right. So I put Slayer back on my weight loss alter ego and she slays the goal. She gets stuff done. And we're doing that. I'm losing weight. I'm down 24 pounds. It feels easy.

But also I'm doing it from some of that energy of slaying the goals, right? And Brookster's coming in, my other alter ego that is like she's getting the business goals and we're showing up. And as it my my talisman to activate her is to tie my pants or to button my pants, like real pants. That's how I know we're going to work. We're out of our yoga pants. So that's all been working great since I've got this new alter ego.

But I've been letting that time creep in. So I was like, okay, what's my problem in my current world? What is frustrating me? What is like boring or normal about this world? Right. And it used to be when I was working, my nine to five was

I no longer have a commute. So I kind of wrote that as a problem because like now I don't have podcasting time. I don't get out of the d out of the house. So what was a problem before is still like now I don't have one at all. I literally don't leave the house.

But also because of all this allergy stuff, and I'm really just trying to give myself time to heal So I stay in this room a lot. I do see myself overeating. I'm still losing weight, but I know I'm overeating at a certain time. And it's usually when I'm watching a TV show.

Or something like that. And that's become part of my lunchtime routine. It's kind of like a signal for my brain. we get to chill now. But the problem is that I'm not going back to work full force after that. And I want to because I'm taking so much time in the morning for myself. So these are things that came up doing this work so my current reality is like mold, toxicity, allergies, hormones.

TSW, toxic steroid withdrawal, all of those things. If I let myself get to the point where I'm flared, it can take me down and can take my body down. Now I've decided in my extraordinary world,

So this is what you do, you guys. You take and you say, What's what's in my normal world right now that I don't, that I'm that's a limitation or that I'm not liking, or I'm frustrated. It could be a belief pattern.

I could have overwhelming here too, And not taking a break probably needs to go on here

Because in that taking a break, I'm regulating myself and not going to be overeating myself into it, right? So this is just awareness and more identity shifts. Now, when I first started to lose weight, this list around food was enormous. And I've moved my mind through that. So it feels like a different space I'm I'm moving in. And I was really surprised how spiritual it is and how much of that.

That I feel like I need to ensure is back in my

So I'm lighting some shit up. You know what I'm saying? I know you guys do. So in my future, looks like this. Nomad working from around the world. She's healed, clear skin. She can be out in it. She's

it, food is fuel, and I am free from toxins. I'm in the earth. I'm outside and unhindered, unhinged, right? Unhindered in my body.

Not

Pulled down by it. And like, the more and more I got writing, and the more and more I went through this process, I was really surprised. And I was doing this to demo for everybody else, but I was really surprised at how this fit.

One of the questions are what is frustrating in this field of play? And I said, I feel like I need to stay inside or I'm gonna flare up and I can't expose ne, you know, explore nature. And I'm such like nature saved me last time. I have a video on here called The Mountain that saved me, it was where I went to connect and be in it. And now I'm needing to I'm learning visualization, these other techniques.

I can create it right in my brain, right? Like our brains are so powerful. So that's coming out of this. my god, I'm in one room, right? Like, I feel like I need to stay in here. And what I don't like is I'll overeat at lunch and not go back to work. I know I'm comfort eating there. I'm also doing OMAD. I'm eating typically one meal a day.

I really like it. I enjoy intermittent fasting. I did not lose my weight intermittent fasting. And in fact, you cannot lose weight and be a faster. Just so you know, like this isn't a weight loss diet I'm talking about. It's a lifestyle I really enjoy. But I know after I eat, because I'm eating a bulk of my calories in one sitting, it's finding that happier space and maybe even more of a mental break.

moving from meditating first and then moving into my afternoon, right?

And I want to just share this behind the scenes with you guys because this is all the thought that goes into creating my alter ego, who's bridging the cap gap between who I am now and my future self. I could keep going on and losing weight the way I am with Slayer and because I I feel like I've already got that dialed in.

What's not happening is I'm not fully healing myself. I'm not listening to what I need to be listening to. You know, and I think when we shove down emotions, when we don't process them, when we don't allow ourselves to be in them and open ourselves up to what if, what does this look like? And ask ourselves these hard questions and sit and just take a minute to write about them, we don't discover, come out the other side. So often we want that quick fix. And the quick fix isn't what

gets you to becoming that person, right? The quick kick fix gets you that result, but you're not changing the pathways within you, those beliefs about who you really are. And so I puzzled all of that out about this break time, and about how I ended up at that full flair and my body's telling me you can't do it like that anymore.

Like in so many ⁓ women in midlife, I was just got off the phone coaching somebody. It's been a busy day, you guys. I had a coaching call, two and a half hour workshop coaching call, and I'm here with you guys. And this is my generator motor center energy. I know it's a lot. I love it. And then also I have to make sure I manage the backside of it and I really take care of myself. It's like this woman I was coaching was saying that she is just so tired.

And like, even though she wants to work, like she just can't anymore. She's just too exhausted. I'm like, I feel you. And we need to show up differently. Dr. Mindy Pells talks about this. ⁓ she's just brilliant work around women's health, you guys, if you don't follow her yet. And she'll talk about how our brains and menopause are being rewired, right? They're literally being ripped apart again, just like hormones happen when we're younger.

And we're spruning hormones, we're those thoughts, all of that stuff is happening. And we're stepping into this place of we're we're needing to work differently and take care of ourselves differently. Our adrenals can be fatigued a lot easier. And we're not needed in that same capacity as we were before, which I think is the bigger arc of the story.

Or ain't the story that we have to continually work so hard to produce to show up when we are the crones now. We are the leaders of everyone else in the village. They talk about the grammar theory, there's this scientist that does all this brain study on women's health, and l they were studying societies from ⁓ like cavemen time, right? And how the men would go off and hunt, the moms are taking care of the kids.

And it was the grandmas, right, that stepped into this wise age that had the foresight to forage to make sure the community was cared for, whether or not the hunt was brought back. And that's so that's where we are in our brain. leaning back into some of that.

⁓ wisdom from being the crone and the foresight and what we're here to help ⁓ our younger generations do and how we show up for it. Game changing shit right there, you guys. So, what am I capable of doing,

That I'm not doing this question alone. If you ask yourself one question here, let it be this: What am I capable of doing that I'm not doing? Boom. Drop it in the comments if you're watching.

Send it to me. I want to hear your big ass dreams. what am I capable of doing that I'm not doing? And I'm like healing myself. Like I understand how powerful our brain is, how powerful visualization is from a scientific standpoint, much less my spiritual woo side that believes a hundred percent.

Like I know this stuff, and I know I'm also not putting the energy into really activating that if I'm being honest with myself. So I got building her. So that was exciting, you guys. Do you see how this is changing? My original slayer was

she slays goals, she gets her meal plan, she watches when ⁓ she's very aware and does thought models and works through all her limiting beliefs. Now I just

Do those things. But that was my original alter ego. And this alter ego, she's cracking open ⁓ some spiritual shit again. And I was really surprised. So my current state. So what you do on this one, if you guys are following along at home, making your own, like what is your current self? Like, how do I show up? And how does my alter ego show up? And I started to do this one.

From a future self and not an alter ego. And I had to back it out because I realized like on the left side, my current self gets on my treadmill for thirty minutes a day. My future self, she's up to like sixty, right? That's like goals for like this quarter.

That's not like my superhero alter ego, right? My superhero is like, she's fucking ripped, man. She's super fit. She's badass. She's strong. She's lifting cars over her head. She hikes and explores, but she can hop from mountain to mountain. Do you see the difference? Like you let it get a little mystical because what does that do for you? It puts it in third-party perspective. It helps you take the judgment out of it. That's why it was so powerful the first time when I couldn't imagine losing a hundred pounds.

Right. I had lost weight before, but I'd always gained it. And like to lose it from a standpoint of being in it and being so powerful of just being my mind, not being like all this restriction around food and all of this stuff to let it just be that. That was mind blowing.

So my alter ego is just she's a little more out there, right? And it it gives us that separation of self and takes us out of judgment and lets it also be fun, they call this the Batman effect, you know, like trying on, like they do this pro this ⁓ study with little kids and telling them, you're like this superhero, and they perform 20% better.

You know, like letting it be a little out there. It's like beyond saying Sasha Fierce, right? If you go to future self with it, it brings reality in. I couldn't really be a light warrior, right? I couldn't really like have energy surrounding my body and shoot heart sing out of my hand. You know, like that's not real. Right. But you get the gist of that, right? If like my my alter ego was shooting heart sing out of her hand, and when she would coach people.

Or be in the room with people and she still does this, right? She shoots the heart sing at them. She shoots her energy at at them. I was like her superpower. I want to like inspire, ignite like all of that with my intention and my superpower,

Being radiant. So ⁓ and then you set the goal, right? What's the target? And why are we going for this? And then you really get in the whys, whys, whys, whys, whys, whys. And you say, why? Because I want to feel good. But why do you want to feel good? Because I want to get outside and play. But why do you want to play? Because I want to adventure. You guys, spoiler alert, mine always comes back to because I'm afraid of death.

'Cause I'm afraid of dying without experience an epic life like my dad did. Like watching my dad die young from severe obesity related like issues was ⁓ so impactful. And every time I get coached, every time I dig up these limiting beliefs, when I really let myself get deep, it gets down to being scared of that, being on my deathbed and not having lived the things I wanna live. So that was powerful. And then I made my superpowers.

And this is where it really cracked open for me about the gist of this alter ego because she is spiritual, wise, calm, centered, sovereign, grounded, and very much more queen energy, if I will, from an archetype standpoint than a warrior slayer energy. You know, she's very much ⁓ like in that sovereign,

boundaries and caring for herself, but the witch I feel like the witch is very experimental and with like potions and self and ⁓ relying on her intuition and herself more.

And this being part of what I do in my morning. And remember, Slayer protected my morning. She was part of that. This is part of what I do in my morning that is so game-changing, these values, the superpowers and the values I pick, the values, balance, harmony, abundance, gratitude, service, these are things that, yes, I embody and I practice aspects of these every day.

But for my alter ego, these drive her, these make decisions for her. And right now I make a decision. I make decisions from my core values, which are fun, love, adventure, inspiration, and la joy. Right. So those are like my guidelines. If not fun, I'm not doing it. Right. So, and sometimes doing my spiritual practices can feel not fun. So sometimes I gotta tap into a little something extra. You know what I mean?

So, this is all creating new identity, you guys, creating new beliefs within yourself. So, we get to the arch nemesis today. my arch nemesis, this was the wine wench, right? She's a sexy bitch. So the first time I set out, lost 120 pounds building slayer, I asked myself, I said, hey.

What's really getting in my way here? You know, and food's always kind of been the thing, weight and all of that. But when I got down to it, it was that wine, you know, I'd

kick ass all week and I'd get to the weekend, pop open the bottle of wine or the postmates totally backslide, right? And not even backslide, maybe I'm maintaining, doing what I needed to do to like not gain or whatever, right? But I was like, hey, if I wanted to lose 30 pounds in 90 days, what would I really need to do?

And I was like, I need to slay that wine wench. And that's where all that all started, right? So as we were all creating alter egos on this wasn't a group I was in on Facebook, but I was doing it live on my Facebook channel, Namaslayer, the Light Warrior. So it's just coming out again. So and we all start making alter egos and arch nemesis and had so much fun and lost so much weight, like hundreds and hundreds of pounds, you guys. And it was because we went through this process, which was identity changing.

You know, we are like really we actually call each other these names. My kids call me Slayer. I know.

you're j if you're new here, hang on, it's a ride. But it's also proven scientific stuff. And doing this book, visualization, and how she talks about these skills being ⁓ gatekapped, like because they absolutely help you move to the next realm.

Elite athletes all do this, Like successful ⁓ entertainers. You can find it across all industries. So, anyhow, you guys, so that was really interesting for me. I decided, I think mine's the time bandit this time because I think I'm seeing myself give up my time, but also.

Taking away my own accountability for creating time. I love to talk about time creation and Einstein time, like creating time. In fact, podcast episode 19 is all about it. And I decided that the time bandit is my arch nemesis, and I'm gonna create time more and more and never let it dip in my me first time.

Right. No matter what that looks like, even if I have to stop what I'm doing after I have to do that in the morning and do my me time after it gets

I had a little fun with this and picked out my lair again. That was a lot of fun. And my heroine's journey, like who's on the ride with you? And then we made our creeds, you know.

I said I'm Nama Slayer reporting for duty. I stand for Calm Radiance, And I will never put me last. I'm here to light the world. ⁓ I'm here to light me up and then the world. And again, it goes to we can't fill up others if we're not filling our own cup, you know.

So I just wanted to share with you guys because I've been talking a lot about my.

Brookster, my CEO alter ego, the one I needed her to button her pants on so we get to work and start to get my business so I can live this nomadic badass life I love and help how many witches and bitches on the way that also want to truly fundamentally change who they are. Like at the core level. So it's been

A lot of fun and a lot of eye opening. Every time I lead something, I feel like I learn something new about myself every single time, without without doubt. All right, you guys. Until next week, follow, subscribe if you haven't already. I really appreciate it. Helps the channel here on YouTube. If you're on the podcast, drop me a review if you haven't lately. I really appreciate it.

Until next week, slayer out.