Easier Movement, Happier Horses

Gratitude From the Trenches

November 10, 2022 Mary Debono
Easier Movement, Happier Horses
Gratitude From the Trenches
Show Notes Transcript

In this episode, Mary shares inspiring thoughts from members of her Happy, Healthy Horsewomen community.

You'll hear what they learned from their horses. And how their horses gently (and sometimes not so gently!) pointed out where and how they could improve.

In listening to their horses, these women learned a lot about themselves. And not only did the improve their horsemanship, but their everyday lives improved as well.

I hope you enjoy these lessons from the horses! 💖🐴

FREE resources:

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https://www.marydebono.com/unlock. 💥

In this free 5-day challenge, Mary will be teaching simple, effective methods to help you unlock your horse’s amazingness. And I bet that you’ll feel better too! For extra incentive and fun, they’ll even be prizes. 😊

Podcast show notes for this episode: https://www.marydebono.com/blog/h37

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Hello and welcome to Easier Movement, Happier Horses. Today we're going to talk about gratitude and not in the way that you think of it. Okay? You know, a lot of people talk about, Oh, it's so important to be grateful for this and grateful for that, and have an attitude of gratitude. But I'd like you to think of it in a slightly different way.

And what I'd like to do today is actually share with you some of the responses I've been getting in my online challenge. I'm running a five day challenge, where actually today is day three as I'm recording this. And the first day was about gratitude. So a couple of days ago, and I asked people to post about what they're grateful for with their horse,

but, but to not pick all the usual things. To have at least something in there that maybe wasn't so obvious that you'd be grateful for it, but maybe it's that there's, it led you down a particular path or something like that. So, I'd like to share some of these with you because I thought they were, First of all, everyone's responses were amazing and each person had at least three things that they were grateful for.

So I'm just picking, I just kind of selected a few, but I thought they were really important. One of them was that she said her horse doesn't take herself too seriously. Now, I love that cuz like, that's such a good reminder for us. Cuz I know for myself, sometimes I just take myself a little too seriously, right? So she was really grateful that her horse didn't take herself too seriously,

and it's a good reminder for us, right? Another one was, she said, I'm just so grateful that my mayor is just my mayor. It's like, she is who she is. Okay? Another good reminder for us, right? Just to be who we really are, you know, to stay true to our values, our priorities, just be ourselves.

Okay? Another one wrote about her mayor. A lot of these were mayors, by the way, but not, not all, a lot of geldings and stallion in the group too. She said that, that her big black mayor is, is the peacekeeper of the herd, and that she does her best to keep peace and harmony within the herd. I thought that was pretty cool.

And by the way, she's this like big gorgeous mayor. I'm sure she could raise a ruckus if she wanted to, but you know, her, her role in life is to keep the peace. And what again, what a beautiful sentiment. Another person said that she loves the fact that her horse is so sensitive, because if she herself as the rider or as the handler gets tense and her mind is somewhere else,

her horse immediately gets distracted, immediately gets distracted. And she said, he teaches me so much about myself. Okay, how cool is that? And this is what this is all about, right? Is that our horses are teaching us. I mean, we're having fun with them. It's wonderful. We have goals and we have kinds of wonderful adventures with our horses.

And, but you know, when you look at this as a journey that you're, that you're going on with your horse to become a better version of yourself, I think it just takes it to an entirely different level. And that's what's coming out in all these gratitude lists. Another person said that, that she was just so grateful her horse was part of her life.

And that we enjoy each other's company and we have great fun together. You know, a lot of times when I'm working with horses and their riders, the riders forget about that fun part, right? They're so focused on particular goals they have as horse people, like certain things they wanna do or whatever, or, or they're worried about certain challenges, difficulties they're facing with their horses that they forget about fun.

And we do this in other areas of our lives as well. So I just thought that was so cool how she said, and we have great fun. They enjoy each other's company and they have great fun together. So again, good reminder for us to enjoy each other's company, whether that's horses, other humans, dogs, cats, whatever. And to have great fun together.

Another person said just the love and connection and that this lifelong learning journey, right? That she's so grateful for. Another one said she loves, she's so grateful that a horse is so sensitive because it, her horse reminds her to be really clear and purposeful, okay? And if she's not, the horse doesn't respond in the way that she would like.

So she has two horses. She's talking about, one of them tells her, you know, through his actions to slow down, right? And to relax. And the other one teaches her to be really clear and purposeful. Okay? So they're, they're both like apparently very sensitive, which is awesome. Horses are by nature, very sensitive. Even the ones that you don't think they are,

because they may be very, you know, just like quote unquote bombproof quiet horses. But they are very sensitive. They pick up things so like, on such a deeper level than we do. Like all the little nuances of our physiology, they notice that, okay, so another person said that one of the things she said was that her horse puts a smile on her face every single day that I spend time with him.

How great is that, right? I think a lot of us may may also say that. I know, I certainly say that about my horse. I, I believe that. But wow, what a nice reminder. And to think of maybe other things in your life that put a smile on your face every single time you get to do them. Like for me,

I love sharing this information with you. So I'm always so happy when I'm doing it right. I feel very motivated, I feel very, you know, satisfied, happy, all those good things when I'm sharing this information with you. So think about, you know, making sure that you're including more of that in your life. Those things that put a smile on your face all the time.

Certainly horses are at the top of that list, right? Another person said that she just appreciates how her horse like basically said to her like, she got like kind like a download flow with me, flow with me. I thought that was really cool. Another one said she loves how her horse is teaching her to move with him and to take deep breaths.

Okay? Cuz you know, we forget to do that. Sometimes we are doing something new or something challenging and we hold our breath, we breathe really shallow. And a lot of times this becomes a habit that we do throughout the day. Like we just do it automatically and it really can, can impact our health actually, and also our feelings of safety and,

and calmness. Because when you're breathing in a way that's really shallow and stuff, your brain might think that there's a problem and you might feel some tension. Okay? You might feel actually a lot of tension. So, you know, just as a reminder to, to move with life and to breathe in a relaxed, deep way. Another one said that she loves that her horse easily shows if he's comfortable or not.

Now, a lot of times we don't do that. Like we become so habituated to discomfort. So it feels familiar. It's like one of those habits I always talk about how we have all these habits, habits of mind, but also movement, habits, habits of how we move and sit and stand, et cetera. And we think something's comfortable, but it's not,

it's actually just familiar. Okay? So she loves that. Her horse knows, he easily tells her if he's comfortable or not. So something we could think about in our own life, you know, are, are you recognizing when you're comfortable and when you're not? And how can you change your life to, not that we always wanna be comfortable, but as far as a movement perspective,

we want movement to feel comfortable. Okay? So that means we're on the path to healthy, efficient movement when it's comfortable. So we wanna start at sort of like the baseline that this is comfortable. Now we can build on it. Okay? So that's important. Another person wrote in and said that her horse has, has some metabolic issues. So the horse is very restricted as far as as pasture.

And she said the horse never complains, never complains. You know, that even though there is these limitations on, I think was a mayor on her life, she doesn't complain about it. And she, the woman made a comment like, wow, imagine if we were all like that. You know, that type of thing. So it's a lesson there,

right? You know, if we have certain limitations in our life that, that are unchangeable, maybe, you know, how do we adapt to that? How do we adjust? Do we just have resentment? Are we complaining a lot or we can we adjust like this horse does? Oh, another one said that she was so grateful that her horse was aloof because she said he was aloof and it it caused her to go on a journey to seek the,

you know, the right way to communicate and connect with her horse. How great is that? So she didn't just like write him off that, oh, my horse is aloof and you know, that's that. But she went on this journey of self discovery to figure out what can I do differently? How can I communicate differently with my horse? So again,

what a lesson, right? We can take that into other aspects of our lives. You know, sometimes when we have people that maybe they, they just, they don't agree with, with certain positions or, or opinions we have or, you know, our value systems might be different or who knows, right? They, they just, they rub you the wrong way maybe,

or, or they're just aloof people and sometimes we're like, All right, just give 'em space and we just move on. We just ignore them. May maybe sometimes that's a good strategy, but it's also really cool if you take the time and you think about, well, how could I connect with this person? You know, like, where can I find commonality?

Where can I find common ground? I know there was a woman that I used to see around the neighborhood and she always seemed really like kind of grumpy and not friendly. And I was like, I just like to be friendly, you know, I like to wave and say hi, and you know, oh, great day out or whatever. And she just like wasn't really into that.

I'd get a little bit of a, you know, comment or whatever and she, you know, and I realized, wait a minute, I don't think she's nasty or anything. I think that's just her way. Like, in other words, she just didn't have that. And I'm not an extrovert, just so you know, I consider myself an introvert,

but she was a, she, anyway, she, she, I decided to figure out, you know, what does she like and, you know, would ask her things here and there just very casually and turns out she's like this amazing person who now we're, we're pretty friendly. So it's, it was really fun. And I thought, I'm glad I gave that a try.

Like, I'm glad I didn't just write her off as okay, she doesn't wanna be friends and that's it. So actually that happened with other, other neighbors of mine too. So anyway, something to think about, you know, if they're people or other animals in your life that have that kind of aloofness and you know, is there a way you can approach them differently?

Okay. Another one said, she has been riding for a really long time, but she always rode kind of superficially. Like she, you know, it was nice and she was, you know, technically pretty good, but there was like a a, a shallowness to it I guess. And she said, This horse she has now, she has to ride this horse properly.

And she said it's fantastic. She's so grateful because she said she's approaching her riding in a much deeper, more meaningful way. And she's really taken a quite a deep dive into how to ride, you know, really properly. And so that's exciting for her. So, and again, so that's a situation where a lot of people would think, Oh,

I don't want a horse that that's sensitive or whatever, but she embraced it as, Wow, this is wonderful cuz I'm becoming a better horse woman. So pretty cool. Another one was celebrating the fact that her horse bucked her off right now you wouldn't think that that's something you'd be grateful for, right? But she said that was like she, that needed to happen so that she could find a way to communicate and connect with him.

So it's sort of like the horse had to kind of shout, if you will, that things weren't right. And she was so grateful for that opportunity then to approach it in a different way, to approach her relationship with a horse differently and to ride differently. And this is important because a lot of horses just tolerate what we do, even if they're not comfortable,

a lot of them do tolerate it. And then there's no reason why we have to improve. Now her horse said ain't happening and bucked her off. So she, but being the wonderful person she is, she decided to take that as, okay, I need to do something differently, not I need to punish my horse. So that's a big distinction there.

Again, we can apply this to not only horsemanship, but other areas as well. Okay, just a few more, but I think these are important though. I'm so excited to share them with you. Another woman said she's so grateful that her horses have helped her have an open mind and an open heart because she really had to go down a journey of trying different things to help her horse.

So that was pretty cool. And another one was just the piece she received that just, oh, that, that piece that she feels when she's with her horse. So again, take the time and experience that instead of doing, doing, doing all the time with our horses, can you just be with your horse? Just be with your horse. Another one said she's so grateful because her horse disconnects when she's too task oriented,

when she's too task focused. So that's pretty cool because her horse, like, I'm checking out if you are just going to be like having that kind of narrow focus about a specific task, I'm outta here, you know, mentally. And she, she recognizes that, right? Which speaks a lot about her by the way. And it's like, oops,

let's get back on track. Have a, have a broader perspective. Let's see the big picture here. Instead of being so task focused, again, we can apply this to other things besides horsemanship. So couple more that were really fun. Oh, I love this one. So this woman said that her horses are ready to help things go well. Now what a great attitude.

What a great attitude. A great attitude from the horses, but also from this woman. Because if you took that perspective that life is helping you out, right? That things are happening for you and not against you, and that your horse is always ready to help things go well. I mean, that is fantastic that, that, I mean, he's all put a smile on my face in so many different ways and,

and everyone's response, by the way, cuz there's many more in the group that I'm not talking about here, but that one I thought was really pretty cool. My horses are ready to help things go well. So think about that as a, as a nice little mantra, right? If you will, as, as just a theme you can think about that the universe is,

is always ready to help things go well, right? And things are working in your, for your advantage. Another one said that her horse, she's so grateful because her horse makes her a better person and a better horse person, but even just a better person overall, which again, just what we're talking about here, all these lessons just can help us be better versions of ourselves.

Okay? One more, Okay. That I just, again, loved, she said that her horses remind her again and again, that it's all about self-awareness, okay? And you know, in my, this is what I teach, right? Self-awareness, awareness of how we move, awareness of how we think, you know, all the aspects of self-awareness.

And our horses are definitely really good teachers that they help us recognize the importance of self-awareness. So again, self-awareness, you can imply that's going to improve your life in a number of different ways, right? Every aspect of your life. So anyway, I wanted to give you a little taste of this. And by the way, so we have this ongoing Unlock your horse's superpower challenge.

If you're, if you're listening to this podcast in real time, let's see when this comes out as November 10th, 2022. So we have a couple more days left. We have prizes every day. We have a grand prize. So even if you're late to the party, even if you just start the, the challenge on the fourth or fifth day, you can actually still qualify for the grand prize if you,

you know, for the grand prize drawing, if you go back and just put in your quote unquote homework, which is really easy stuff, okay? Really easy stuff that you can just do. So to, to get the challenge, if you go to mary Debono dot com slash unlock, you'll get the email that I send out every day. But the challenge itself is taking place in our free Facebook group,

Happy Healthy Horsewoman. So those links will be in the show notes, and as always, you can drop an email to support mary Debono dot com if you have any questions. But thank you so much. I hope you think about these little gratitude lists that I, that I shared with you and apply them to your own, to your own lives and see how your horses will improve when you take those,

those thoughts to heart. Okay? Thank you so, so very much for listening and I can't wait to share more with you very soon. Bye for now.