The Wrong Way to Get It Right

Discover the counterintuitive "do the easy side badly" strategy that transforms movement without forcing change. Learn why intentionally making your easy side feel difficult helps your challenging side improve naturally through neuroplasticity and contrast learning.

Have you ever noticed that one side of your body moves more smoothly than the other? Maybe your right leg slides effortlessly while your left feels sticky, or you turn more easily in one direction than the other. Your horses and dogs have these asymmetries, too.

Most people try to fix the "harder" side by pushing, stretching, and straining. But renowned movement expert Mary Debono reveals a revolutionary approach that flips this conventional wisdom on its head.

Key Takeaways

The Core Strategy: Instead of working harder on your challenging side, intentionally make your easy side more difficult through playful variations, then return to the challenging side—it will feel dramatically easier.

Why It Works: Your nervous system learns through contrast. By giving your brain information about what doesn't work (through temporary variations), it better understands what does work and naturally improves coordination.

The Pressure Problem: Trying to fix, stretch, or force improvements creates anxiety in the nervous system and often reinforces the original problem through defensive restrictions.

Mindset Shift: Change from asking "How do I fix this?" to "What can I learn from what's already easy?" This transforms your entire approach from correction to exploration.

Natural Learning: Your nervous system wants to move toward health and wholeness. When you create the right environment with curiosity and contrast, improvement happens organically without force.

Resources:

Get your free videos on Connected Breathing and Rhythm Circles with your horse. 🐎https://tinyurl.com/equine-videos

Grab your FREE videos on Connected Breathing and Rhythm Circles to help your dog. 🐕 https://www.marydebono.com/lovedog 💥

Get Mary’s bestselling, award-winning book, “Grow Young with Your Dog,” for a super low price at: https://tinyurl.com/growyoungwithyourdog. Demonstration videos are included at no extra cost.

Want to sit in a more balanced, secure way? Click here for all the details on our Feldenkrais series:
Effortless, Balanced Sitting: A FeldenkraisⓇ Movement Series   

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and does not constitute medical or veterinary advice or professional training advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider if you, your horse, or your dog are unwell or injured.  Always use extreme caution when interacting with horses and dogs.

Email mary@marydebono.com

#Feldenkrais Method #Debono Moves #somatic learning #mindset #horses #dogs

Transcript

Hello, and welcome to Easier Movement Happier Life for you, your horses and dogs. I'm Mary debono, and today I want to share a counterintuitive and very powerful strategy that can transform how you move and how you help your horses and dogs. And I call it do the Easy side Badly. So let me explain. First of all, this strategy actually comes from Dr. Moshe Feldenkrais, who created the Feldenkrais method for humans.

And it's. It's really a groundbreaking approach to learning and movement based on how the brain and body work together. It's all about developing awareness. So let's think about this way. You know, have you ever done a movement? Maybe you were doing like an exercise class or just maybe moving on your own, and you noticed that it was much easier or smoother on one side of yourself than the other.

For example, maybe you were lying on your back and you were sliding your leg. You know, you were sliding it up and out. Well, maybe on the right side it felt super smooth, and on the left, it was a little bit sticky or maybe a lot sticky. So we all have those kind of asymmetries, if you will. And one side might feel more coordinated and graceful, and the other side might feel a little more disconnected or restricted.

And I hesitate. I would say probably never use the terms good side and bad side, but a lot of people do. A lot of people will say, oh, that's my good side, or that's my bad side. Okay? There's a whole other reasoning behind why I don't say that. However, you might find that one side is a little more, let's just say, interesting than the other, that there are some glitches, just not as smooth, not as elegant.

And it doesn't have to be the whole side. Like, you might notice a difference between each leg, but maybe. So maybe the right leg is easier to do certain things with. Maybe the left arm is easier to do other things with. Maybe you turn more easily in one direction than the other. Maybe. Mean all these variations are very typical of. Of us, okay? And our animals have them, too.

Or maybe, for example, when you're riding your horse, you notice that your right leg always stays in place, and the left one either creeps forward or creeps up. Maybe you lose that stirrup. Maybe you just don't feel like you could use that leg aid effectively. Or maybe when you're playing with your dog, you notice that there's just this easier direction that you turn in, so you tend to do that more than the other direction.

So again, we all have these. These. These kind of like asymmetries. Right? So, you know, and. And again, let's just, for the sake of this episode, call them like an easy side and a hard side. But I would encourage you to. To stay away from terms like good and bad. Okay? So. So now what do a lot of people do if they find that one side is more restricted?

Whether it's a leg, an arm, the way they turn, whatever it happens to be, what do they do? They want to work it harder, they want to stretch it, they want to push through to get it to feel like the easy side. Okay, this. That is not a good strategy. Yes, I know it's a common strategy, but it's not a good one. Right. There's another way, a way that I think is much better.

And this is. This is the surprising strategy I mentioned. It's do the easy side badly on purpose. Okay, I know it sounds strange, right? It sounds counterintuitive, but stick with me. This strategy is rooted in neuroscience, and it can help your nervous system make big shifts without strain and without trying to fix anything. It's a completely different approach that's really based on learning. So here's the idea. When we do something, again, I'm going to use the example of maybe you're sliding your leg, and on the right side, it's easy.

The left side, not so much. What we do is, again, we want. We push, we think, oh, I want the left side to feel like the right one does. So we push, we stretch, we strain, we just create more resistance. We actually create more problems, more anxiety in the nervous system. But what if. What if you thought about this strategy? What if you did the movement on the easy side, you did it again, but this time you did it a little bit worse on purpose.

So you intentionally made it feel not so easy. Okay? So stick with me. So you can do this by, for example, maybe you just simply hold your breath. When you slide up your right leg, you hold your breath, you do that a few times, then you let that go. You breathe normally. And then the next time you do something else, maybe you tense your jaw, I kind of maybe grit your teeth.

Then you slide up the leg. Maybe another time you curl your toes a little bit, you do something, something with your ankle even. You do some little change like that. Or maybe you tighten your upper back. I mean, there's. There's countless ways that you can vary the movement and make it a little bit worse, if you will. Okay? Now don't do anything that's going to Hurt. Don't do anything that's unsafe for you.

These are just playful explorations. You do a variation, you let that variation go, and then you pick up another one. Maybe it's the tensing of the rib cage or something like that. You do that one, playfully let it go, and maybe do three or five variations like that. And then, then this is what's so cool. Then you just let that go completely. Then you go back to the quote unquote harder side in.

In our example, we're going to say the left leg, and you just do it simply. You don't think about it, you don't try to do it correctly. You just do it. And I'm going to pretty much guarantee it's going to feel a lot easier than it did originally, okay? I have been using this strategy for well over 30 years, and. And it has never left let me down.

I've used it with scores of people across all kinds of spectrums of physical abilities and experience, et cetera, and it's amazing how it works. Okay? So again, when you go back to doing the challenging side, the side that we said was harder, right, you often notice that it feels clearer, smoother. And this is what's so cool about this. I think, too, now you've given your nervous system the experience of the left leg feeling like the easy side, okay?

Because this is all about contrast, right? So now that side gets to experience a sense of ease relative to the right side, okay? So now why does this work? Why did you suddenly get more coordinated on the left? Well, you gave your nervous system more information to work with. Your nervous system wants to go towards health and wholeness. It wants that left leg to feel really smooth, okay?

There's no denying that. But the idea is we want to give it the right environment and then the right information so we can learn a better way. So you didn't force anything. You just gave your brain contrast to reorganize more effectively. Think of it this way. Your brain is kind of like a detective gathering clues, and the more information it has about what works and what doesn't work, the better it can solve the puzzle of coordinated movement.

So that's what you are helping it do by purposely doing the right side. The right leg will say badly, okay? But playfully, simply, you know, comfortably, but badly. Now your brain is saying, that didn't work, that didn't work, that didn't work, okay? Now when you go back to doing the original harder side, the less elegant side we can call it, now your brain knows more about what to let go, what to include, and how to, again, coordinate your movement in a healthier way.

So, yes, your movement of that left leg suddenly got easier, all without trying to fix it, without pushing, stretching, or straining, which. Those things can cause a lot of anxiety, if you will, in the nervous system and lead to compensations, like more defensive restrictions. So let me give you an another example of how this works. So just say you're a teacher. You're teaching elementary school, and you have a little boy in your class named Johnny.

And Johnny is kind of anxious about the whole arithmetic thing. So instead of saying, okay, Johnny, what's two plus two? You say, johnny, hey, give me three wrong answers for two plus two. Well, now Johnny smiles, right? Now Johnny's like, okay, I can come up with wrong answers. I do that all day long, right? So you took the pressure off. You made it fun. Well, now think about what has to happen in Johnny's brain.

Johnny's brain has to actually engage with the correct answer more deeply to come up with wrong answers. Okay? So, and. And there's no pressure to be right. So this takes away that anxiety. Okay? When we try to get something right, whether it's a movement or a simple arithmetic problem, right? We're creating a sense of anxiety. If that's, you know, if. If we're prone to that. And instead if we say, huh, how can I do that?

How can I answer that badly, right? What could. Let me. Let me play around with some wrong answers. So that's what you're actually doing with the movement. So. So again, getting back to Johnny. And that little arithmetic equation there, that little puzzle, if you will, it's a game now, right? And it activates divergent thinking. It activates creativity, and it also lowers the stakes, which leads to better learning.

You're creating much more of a learning environment. I cannot tell you how many teachers I've shared this with. And again, I want to give all credit to Dr. Moshe Feldenkrais, who created the Feldenkrais Method. This is a strategy I learned in my training as a Feldenkrais Method practitioner. And like I said, it has helped me with all. All different kinds of people. And. And again, it's. It's kind of fun.

It's. It's so different than what we normally do, isn't it? So. So again, just to. To get back to Johnny for a moment with that little arithmetic example, right? Every wrong answer he gives demonstrates his understanding of what is right. In other words, if he says, you know, 22, 119, 8 million maybe he says tree, you know, but he's starting to understand those are incorrect answers. So he's getting closer to the correct answer.

Okay, so the same thing happens when we're talking about movement. So when we intentionally vary your quote unquote, good side, the easy side, you're teaching your nervous system about the boundaries of coordination, what helps, what hinders, what feels smooth rather than what feels awkward. So, in fact, research in motor learning and neuroplasticity support this. There's a neuroscientist. He's very prominent. His name is Dr. Daniel Wolpert, and he's a big neuroscientist in motor control.

And he says that the brain's primary function is to predict and correct movement based on sensory feedback. So when you introduce unexpected or contrasting inputs, even playfully, like we're doing, right, it enhances the brain's ability to refine those predictions. So that's what you're doing with your nervous system, with your movement. You're playing with contrast. You're giving your brain options, and you're lowering the pressure. So how. How do you do this?

How do you take this into action? So again, if we want to use the example of you're lying on your back and you're sliding your leg, right, we just want to do one little variation of quote unquote, making it worse, right? Then you go back to the easy side. And this is the thing. When you go back to the original harder side, right? And now it feels easier.

You didn't force a change. You revealed one. You didn't make that happen. You didn't try to force that improvement. You uncovered it. This is a huge distinction. And now I want to say this just to be really super clear. You're trying to make the easy side worse, permanently. Not doing anything like that. Okay? You're just giving your nervous system a temporary contrast so it can better appreciate what makes the good movement easier.

Again, you're just uncovering things. So let's think about this in terms of the bigger picture. What this strategy reminds us is that trying to fix ourselves or our horses or dogs rarely works. Okay, it rarely works. But when you. Because when you approach things with pressure, with trying to get it right, with striving, with trying to correct the quote, unquote problem, you can actually reinforce the issue. That's what often happens.

But when you take a much more exploratory approach, when you remove pressure and invite curiosity, you open the door to natural, organic improvement. And so in my work with horses, dogs, and other animals, through De Bono moves. I don't aim to correct or fix them. I don't do that. Instead, I. I invite curiosity, presence, and connection. And it's. So it's not about fixing their posture or their movement.

It's about creating an environment where their nervous system can explore and reorganize naturally. So you can bring the same mindset to your own movement practice. Just let go of fixing, get curious instead. One of my students put this so beautifully. Her name is Cheryl. She said it changes the whole question. Think about that. It does. When you let go of this compulsion that we have as humans to fix, to strive to, to strain, to, like, get it right, it.

It just shifts. It completely changes the whole question. You start to search then for what feels easier rather than trying to butt up against, you know, something that isn't working for you. So think about that. You're changing the whole question. So again, instead of asking, how do I fix this? You're asking, what can I learn from how I do it on this side? What can I learn from what's already easy?

Right? The shift, that shift in mindset is where things, the change happens. So let's think about how we would do this with our animals, too. So let's just say instead of trying to correct, Trying to fix yourself or your animals, right? Your horses or your dogs, your cats, whoever, just invite curiosity into the equation, okay? And so, and remember that this is about learning. This is a. The, the work I teach, the Feldenkrais method for humans, and De Bono moves for horses, dogs, and other animals.

It's all about learning. You're helping your. You're learning yourself how to move more easily, and you're helping your horses and your dogs and your cats also learn how to move more easily. And this can happen at any age. I work with people in their 90s. I've worked with really, really geriatric animals and also younger animals who've had injuries and. Or maybe were born with neurological problems. So this work can help.

You can learn. Basically, you can learn at any age or at any level of fitness. So instead of, you know. So when you're. So when you're either working with yourself, right, improving your own healthy movement, or maybe you're riding your horse or teaching your dog something. Remember, the fastest way forward is usually to take a step back, breathe, smile, and then get curious. So instead of trying harder when things are difficult, get curious about what's already easy, and then gently explore the edges of that ease.

So let curiosity guide you and your animal towards natural improvement. So thank you so much for being here with me today. I hope this episode gave you some maybe a new way to think about movement or improvement in general, both in helping yourself and your animals. And when you put this into practice, I'd love to hear from you, so feel free to email me maryarydebono.com also, wherever you're like.

If you're listening to this on a podcast app, right in the description, there should be at the top a little link that says send Mary a text and I'd love to hear from you. So whatever's easiest. Sending me a text through that, through your podcast player app, or emailing, emailing me. I would love to hear from you. So thank you so very much for listening, subscribing and viewing the podcast.

I so appreciate you. And here's to easier movement and happier everyone. Talk to you soon. Bye for now.