Why Slowing Down Speeds Up Real Results

Movement specialist Mary Debono reveals why forcing change in your horse, dog, or yourself often backfires—and what to do instead.

Drawing from the Feldenkrais MethodⓇ and the Debono Moves approach, Mary explains how the nervous system's primary job is protection. When we try to "fix" movement patterns, we trigger defensive responses that reinforce the very habits we're trying to change. 

"Change isn't something you impose—it's something you invite." - Mary Debono 

Resources:
💥Learn how the Feldenkrais MethodⓇ can help improve your seat, position, and balance on your horse! Free rider videos: https://www.marydebono.com/rider 💥

Grab your FREE video training to help your dog. 🐕 https://www.marydebono.com/lovedog 💥

Get Mary’s bestselling, award-winning book, “Grow Young with Your Dog,” for a super low price at: https://tinyurl.com/growyoungwithyourdog. Demonstration videos are included at no extra cost. ⬅️⬅️⬅️

Want to sit in a more balanced, secure way? Click here for all the details on our new series.
Effortless, Balanced Sitting: A FeldenkraisⓇ Movement Series  ⬅️⬅️⬅️

All information is for general educational purposes ONLY and doesn't constitute medical or veterinary advice or professional training advice. Please consult a qualified healthcare provider if you, your horse, or your dog are unwell or injured.  Always use extreme caution when interacting with horses and dogs.

About the Host:

Mary Debono is a pioneer in animal and human wellness, blending her expertise as an international clinician, best-selling author, and certified Feldenkrais Method® practitioner. With over three decades of experience, Mary developed Debono Moves, a groundbreaking approach that enhances the performance, well-being, and partnership of animals and their humans.

Mary's innovative approach draws from the Feldenkrais Method®, tailored specifically for horse and dog enthusiasts.  Her methods have helped animals and humans:

• Improve athletic ability and performance
• Enhance confidence and reduce anxiety
• Reduce physical limitations and discomfort
• Deepen the human-animal bond

Mary's flagship online programs, "Move with Your Horse" and "Easier Movement, Happier Dogs," provide animal enthusiasts with an innovative approach that combines the concepts of Feldenkrais® with her signature hands-on work for horses and dogs. Through this transformative method, both people and their animal companions discover greater harmony, ease, and connection.

As a sought-after speaker and educator, Mary has impacted animal enthusiasts worldwide, guiding them to enhance their relationships with their animals through mindful movement and deeper body awareness. Her work empowers individuals to unlock new levels of understanding and communication with their beloved companions.

Visit https://www.marydebono.com to learn more about Mary's unique work.

Transcript

Hi. Today's episode is a short one, but a really essential one because it covers something really important, and that is making change, a choice not just for your horse or dog, but for yourself as well. And in case we're meeting for the first time, my name is Mary DeBono, and this is the Easier Movement, Happier Life podcast is for you, your horses, and dogs. So let's get right into it.

You know, if you're trying to help your horse move more freely or support your aging dog's mobility or even improve your own posture or flexibility, there's a really strong temptation to kind of jump in and try to, quote, unquote, fix something, right? You want to just make it better. But here's the thing. Lasting change doesn't come from forcing a new pattern. It comes from offering a new possibility and letting the nervous system choose it.

That is an important distinction. So that's what creates real, sustainable improvement. It's not about overpowering, you know, ways that your animal is doing things or the way you're moving. Because we all have habits of movement that over time can be. Be maladaptive. In other words, they can create more restrictions, they can create stiffness, they can create arthritic conditions, things like that. We don't want to just try to go in there and change them.

Okay? Like, try to physically change them, because that will backfire. Because we have to remember that the nervous system, whether it's your horse's nervous system, your dog's nervous system, or your own, had a good reason to create that habit in the first place. So we need to go in there and kind of establish rapport with the nervous system and then let it choose a different way. Okay? So this is really important.

This is all about inviting curiosity, safety, and ease. We want to really let the nervous system feel safe because that's the nervous system's job is, is to keep you safe. Your horse's nervous system keeps your horse safe. Your dog's nervous system keeps your dog safe. Hey, that's the job of the nervous system. So if we just go in there and say, like, we know better, and this is how the muscle should be.

This is how this should, you know, this is how you should coordinate your parts, right? That can really backfire. So, so how do you do it? How do you get this, like, buy in from the nervous system? So let's talk with a, about a few different ways. So we're going to start with, with your animal. So start where it's already easy. So whether you're working with your Horse or a dog.

Right? And I'm assuming you know a little bit about the work that I, I teach Bono moves. So say you're doing like rocking or rhythm circles. You begin on the side, that's the easiest. Okay? So this is important because a lot of people want to go in and again, like I mentioned earlier, they want to fix something so they think like, oh, this is the stiff side. That's the side I want to work with.

But no, instead you, you go where the movement is easy and feels safe and comfortable for the animal, right? That's how you get the nervous system to be like, oh, okay, that's, that feels good, that's nice. I don't have to worry about that, right? So the, the nervous system's guard is not up. And that's when you can start to get the attention of the animal's nervous system in a positive way, in a way that, that the nervous system is open to new possibilities, open to change.

Okay? So that's number one. So you want, and you, you keep the, the movements, the, the hands on work feeling comfortable for the animal because that's what builds safety and trust, right? So that, that opens the door for change. Okay? So that's number one. Number two is to keep it optional. In other words, you're not forcing your horse or your dog to submit to something. You're not trying to tie them there or insist that they, they let me do this.

You know, something like that, right? If your animal shifts position, maybe they even walk away. Be okay with that. You know, you can, you can direct them a little bit like, hey, let's come back and do this, because maybe they're just confused. But when you see that there's like an obvious, like, this is too much for me, for whatever reason, you don't insist on it, right? You don't try to force them.

You, you find ways to be a little more creative in how you introduce the work to them. I talk about that a lot in my programs, by the way, my online programs, how to get that kind of buy in from your animal. So remember, you're not trying to impose change. You're having a tactile conversation with your horse or your dog. Okay? So you invite, but you don't insist.

And then number three, less is more, less is more. It may just take a few moments of gentle, supportive touch and just comfortable movements that you do with your hands to open things up for your animal. To have your animal's nervous system feel like, oh, I do feel different. Things can be different. I Can behave differently even, because when you feel different in your body, the, you know, you're emotionally different as well.

So oftentimes the behaviors can change in addition to physical movement. So these are things we do. So, so, you know, it may be just you do a few minutes, maybe even less than that. Maybe just a minute at first, right? Until your horse or your dog is really accepting of it. Because maybe for whatever reason, first of all, you're still learning it too, probably. But for whatever reason, maybe they didn't have the best experiences with people touching them in certain ways.

So we respect that, okay? We're always respectful. And, you know, if possible, you end the session before they totally lose interest again. You know, you have to use your own discretion about whether you, you know, kind of guide them back or, you know, do a little bit more. But you don't definitely don't want to have them be really upset and kind of insist on leaving. So, you know, use your common sense with that.

But the idea is you can, you can have some boundaries about, okay, we're going to stay in this area, but you don't insist on anything, okay? You don't make it that this is like a punishment in any way. This should be something pleasurable for the animal and for you, by the way. So, you know, and this is how you're letting the nervous system choose something new to get, you know, to, to let go of those maladaptive habits.

So think about it this way. If you insist, like, if you really say no, we're doing this, we're going to do it now. That nervous system is not in a good state to learn anything useful. If anything, they're going to double down on what they're doing, right, As a protective mechanism. So we need to really be mindful of that. And now let's talk about you. Okay? Maybe you want to improve your own movement, your own flexibility, your own posture, whatever it happens to be.

And maybe you're doing a Feldenkrais awareness through movement lesson. I, I teach those. Or maybe you're just becoming more aware of how you sit, how you walk, or how you ride. The same rules apply to you. You stay in your comfort zone at first, okay? You. You do what's easy. You notice things. This allows your brain to be more sensitive, right? It'll. When you're in your, when you stay in that, that range of ease and comfort, you can feel more.

And that's what the nervous system needs, right? That's how you're not stretching, you're not straining right by Staying in the range of ease. Now your brain is open to learning. Okay, number two, you go slow and you notice more. When you slow down again, you're going to notice a lot more. You just. Can you. Your nervous system needs time to feel differences. So if you do movements really fast, you.

You can't pick up the. The very important and, but subtle differences between how you do one movement, how you do the other movement. In the Feldenkrais method, we often aim to have this idea that I. I shouldn't even say aim, right? That's not even the right word. But the idea is that you're doing the movements in a novel way. You're bringing some newness to the experience. You're not doing them just repetitively like you might do at a gym.

You're maybe listening to a podcast or music, and you're just working out and you're kind of mindless about it. We're not doing that here. Okay. In the Feldenkrais method, we're keeping a high degree of attention, high degree of attention. So that means you slow down and you do smaller movements so you can feel more. This is what's going to invite your nervous system to explore new ways of doing things, new ways of standing, new ways of releasing old habits.

And that's the moment, you know, change becomes a choice then. And then the other thing is, and this is true for us as well as our animals, is you take breaks. In other words, when you're doing a Feldenkrais awareness through movement lesson, for example, we often take breaks. And that allows for the learning, that allows for the integration, that helps strengthen the new neural connections that you're creating.

So these are some things to do both for yourself and for your horses and your dogs, where you're giving them and yourself a choice and you're allowing change to become a choice. So whether you're helping your horse release tension, helping your dog move more easily, improving your own comfort and movement, the goal isn't to force change. It's to create an environment where change feels good, it feels natural, it feels like the better option.

So that's how you get buy in from the nervous system, right? You make change a choice. So thank you so much for listening. I hope you put this into practice. Have fun with it, explore with it, and then let me know how you do. I'd love to hear from you and I appreciate you so much for listening, subscribing, and reviewing the podcast. Look forward to talking to you again soon.

Bye for now.