Block, Delete, Move On: The Mindset Shift That Changes Everything After Heartbreak

Heartbreak changes you—but it doesn’t have to break you. In this episode, Mirela Sula joins us for an honest conversation about the powerful mindset shift behind one simple mantra: Block, Delete, Move On.

Whether you’re healing from a breakup, cutting ties with someone toxic, or trying to stop reopening emotional wounds, this episode explores what it really takes to let go and reclaim your peace. Mirela shares powerful insights on emotional boundaries, self-worth, and why moving on is often the most important form of self-respect.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

•  Why closure doesn’t always come from the other person 
•  How emotional attachment keeps us stuck in unhealthy cycles 
•  The difference between protecting your peace and avoiding your feelings 
•  Practical ways to rebuild confidence after heartbreak 
•  Why blocking someone can sometimes be the healthiest decision you make 

If you’ve ever found yourself rereading old messages, checking their socials, or waiting for a text that never comes, this conversation will remind you that healing begins the moment you choose yourself.

Connect with Mirela Sula:
Instagram: @mirela.sula_globalwoman
Website: https://mirelasula.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mirelasula

Thank you to our sponsor PensionBee - a leading online pension provider on a mission to build pension confidence so that everyone can enjoy a happy retirement. With PensionBee, you can manage your pension savings with ease and combine, contribute and withdraw (from age 55, rising to 57 from 2028) online.

Their website and award-winning app make retirement planning simple with helpful tools like their Pension Calculator, blogs, videos and their monthly podcast - The Pension Confident Podcast.

To find out more about pensions and divorce, take a look at the resources on their website.

Take control of your retirement today with PensionBee.

When investing, your capital is at risk.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to the Heartbreak to Happiness Show with Sarah Davidson. If you're struggling with a breakup and you feel shocked, angry, betrayed, devastated, or sad and alone, then this podcast is for you. Best-selling author and award-winning host, Sarah Davidson, shares how you too can get on with your life to heal, grow, and move from heartbreak to happiness.

SPEAKER_04 0:26

Before arriving here, I was in a big massive distress. Massive. It was not just the distress of me leaving, but it was hard for me to leave. It was not an easy. Nobody was quite understanding why I was doing what I was doing. My ex-husband didn't want me to leave. So it was more like a hiding, running away.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Right.

SPEAKER_04 0:53

And um and nobody believed I could make it, I could go. I remember one moment with my son, because we think that children don't listen and don't understand, and but we were fighting a lot with my ex. And there is a moment that the whole country knew that I was leaving, but we didn't have anything in order. So there was um one day my son comes and said, Mom, this is my last day in my school. The whole school and all my friends did the goodbye party. Everybody knows I'm not going back to the school. I'm just telling you that I'm going to kill myself.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Here's your host, Sarah Davison.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

Welcome back to the show. Now, today I have an incredible guest for you, Maryland Sula. Now, I've known her for a very long time. She is an internationally renowned speaker, best-selling author, and founder of the Global Woman Movement. If you don't know what it is, you will know by the end of this podcast. She supports thousands of women around the world to rebuild not just their confidence, but to find their voice as well and create powerful new lives. But behind all that, behind her success, is a deeply personal story. And Morella has experienced profound loss. She navigated life under a communist regime and she's rebuilt herself after toxic relationships and divorce. And today she uses everything that she's been through to help women turn their pain into purpose, something that's right up my street. She helps them step into their power and create the lives they truly love. So you are going to absolutely love this episode. But before I dive in with Murela, I want to thank our sponsor, Pension Bee. Pension Bee are a leading online pension provider, and they're on a mission to build pension confidence so that everyone can enjoy a happy retirement. Now, if you're going through a divorce, I know you're making huge life decisions about your home, your children, your future, and probably pensions are the last thing on your mind. They can easily get pushed to the bottom of the list because they feel complicated or very far away for a lot of us. But here's something important. Pensions are often one of the largest financial assets in a marriage. And there's something called the gender pension gap. Now, Pension B's research shows that women retire with 37% less than their male counterparts. After divorce, that gap can become even more significant if pensions aren't completely understood or addressed. Now, Pension Bee's website and app are designed to make pensions feel a lot simpler with helpful calculators, clear and jargon-free blogs as well, and tools that help you feel more in control of your financial future. And we all need a bit of that. They also host the Pension Confidence podcast, which is presented by Philippa Lan. So each episode answers real life financial questions. So from the cost of divorce to improving your credit score to whether you could become a pension millionaire with expert guests as well, and no confusing jargon. So that's right up my stream. There are new episodes monthly, plus bonus content in between. And you can listen on all major podcast platforms or watch on YouTube as well. Because rebuilding after a divorce isn't just about getting through today, it's about protecting your tomorrow as well. And just remember anything discussed shouldn't be regarded as financial or legal advice. And when investing, your capital is at risk. Thank you to Pension Bee for sponsoring this episode. Now, back to the podcast today. And my very special guest, Murelay Sula. So I am super excited to welcome Murela to the show. Welcome, Morela. Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for having me. Oh my goodness, I'm so excited to have you as a guest. Thank you. I've known you for quite a long time, haven't I? Since my beginnings. Yes, yes. And I think I was really sort of starting out around a similar time in this industry as well. And um starting a new chapter. Yes, exactly. And I've watched you grow from strength to strength. And you are a powerhouse. You own magazines and you've written so many books and you're global and you're helping so many people, which I absolutely love. For anyone looking now, it looks like it was easy. It looks like it just happened that you were just born for this. And I think you were, but it wasn't always that obvious, was it? Would you mind going back to the beginning to where you started in Albania and what life was like there?

SPEAKER_04 5:55

Oh, you wanted to start from Albania from the very beginning. Well, yes, a communist regime coming to look at what you're doing now. Well, I have I had quite a few beginnings. You know, life is like stages, and when you think you're just about to settle, there is another storm, and then you start again. So I had quite a few storms, and as I usually say, we uh I meet always people who are going through a crisis, who have just left a crisis, or about to start a crisis. So I got used with crisis and the storms and just enjoy it and and see where just enjoy the sunshine and the rainy days. And I mean, I um my very first stage childhood, let's let's park that one. Usually I say we're not going there. That's a long story. I sometimes I feel like that's not me. I have completely blocked, delete, move on. And um, but then I um I got engaged at the age of 16. I got married at the age of 18.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Very young.

SPEAKER_04 6:56

Yeah, yeah, and we're not going there. Why and stories and dramas. Um, but the real drama happened at the age of 20. I think it was 23, 4, something like that, when I lost my child. And that's that's the stage where I really lost everything. Because you know, you keep going, you keep going until like you're completely broken. You don't want to keep going anymore, you just like feel like that's it. But then I got to know that I was pregnant again, and I had to decide to keep going. And I'm glad I did because I have an amazing son now who's um also helping and supporting me. Oh, you work together. Yeah, well, he has his own little business. He just started because he finished his master's in biomedical science. He loves technology and AI, and sometimes I just like you know, the mamas go, please. Which button do I press? And I said, Mom, you you're an entrepreneur, you should know this. So um, yeah, I enjoy that part now, but it was not enjoyable when I took the decision to leave Albania because um that was another stage when uh I moved from the village. When I lost my daughter, uh I moved to the capital city of Albania from the village, and I started a new life there. And that was the beginning of some hope and some light. I built quite a lot. I built it again because I got excited that I was alive again and I healed myself, I did whatever I could because I felt like if I am going to continue living, I need to heal.

SPEAKER_03 8:42

And how did you heal? Because that's one of life's most I can't even imagine the trauma of that.

SPEAKER_04 8:48

Uh you know, maybe you have heard the expression, it's not the book that you read, is the book that you write that heals you. I was uh I was a writer. I published my very first book when I was 18 in the village. Wow. I won a competition, a radio competition. And I think the whole country got like a in a bit of shock. How can this young woman in the middle of nowhere write poems like this? I was I I was writing poems of pain. That was my release. And uh then I uh because I won this competition, national competition, they published, they sponsored my book, and that gave me hope to move. When I lost my daughter, I wrote a book about her. And this is how I I started my healing process. I remember reading books under under the trees in the village in the middle of nowhere. I would go to the library, get a bunch of books, and go back to the village and read and read and write and write poems and whatever I could. But it was um not enough until I moved to the capital city of Albania in Tirana, and uh I saw an advertisement in a newspaper that there was an opportunity to do a master's degree in counseling psychology. And I applied. Even though my English was not good enough, they told me they will give you a conditional, you'll have to learn English. Right? That's a long story, but anyway, uh I'm I'm glad I entered because if you know what where you're going, maybe you don't start. Yes, yes, but I'm glad I did because I had no idea what I was going. But I uh I am very stubborn. If I start something, I die and I complete. There is no way, there is no way I would not complete what I start. So I um it was hard, it was my god, every time I see myself in a difficult moment of my life, I just think the time I completed my master's. I said, if I've done this, I can do everything. If I survived the loss of my daughter, I can do everything.

SPEAKER_03 10:58

Well, I think so.

SPEAKER_04 10:59

So um yeah, then um when I moved to the capital city of Albania and I started studying psychology, and uh later on I discovered meditation and all this other Abrakatabra thing. And it's still a journey, but I think I have um I have reached a very a very uh settled land where I feel peace and I feel happy. Sometimes I feel happy for no reason. That's nice. I remember when we moved, then the next stage is when we moved to London because the storm started in inside. I I I achieved a lot in the capital city. I really I don't know what happened, I I don't know how, but from the village I managed to achieve whatever a woman could dream in my in my home country, in my situation, because I uh finished my master's, I started uh started um teaching at university. Wow. I was on TV every day as a psychologist. I mean they invited me once by accident and they kept inviting me again and again. And then I um I was the editor-in-chief of Psychologist magazine, I was the director of Psychotherapy Positive Psychotherapy Center, I was the leader of uh women equality in decision-making supported by United Nations and US Embassy. So I kind of engaged a lot. Uh, and uh at some point I just felt like I lost myself again. I was not happy. You were doing so much. I I think it was an escapism of healing the pain, but in the same time, it's like when you discover that there is so much you can do, I just felt like leave me alone. I'm not going to stop here. But what happened is we completely grew apart with my ex-husband. It was absolutely two people living in two different planets. And um, that was the beginning of uh the ending of our relationship. So um, and that was the the one of the reasons I felt like let me explore more. So I took my son at that time he was 12 or 13 years old, but I resigned as a director of positive psychotherapy, I resigned as a leader of women equality in decision making, I resigned uh teaching at three different universities. Wow.

SPEAKER_03 13:35

Did you know what you were going to do?

SPEAKER_04 13:37

No.

SPEAKER_03 13:38

So brave.

SPEAKER_04 13:39

No, no. I I sold my little car and I left everything to my ex-husband, and I said, I'm going. I had no plan.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 13:51

Notsoever. And you came to London? I came to London in in the middle of night, past midnight, because we lost the flight. Uh we we we missed the flight because uh the the luggage didn't arrive, one of the luggage that my son had all his belongings. And he was crying. And we had uh we didn't have a direct flight to come to London. We stopped in Rome, and then we were waiting to catch the flight to come here. So, searching for his luggage, we went very late to the check-in and we we missed it. And he started crying, I was crying, and we booked another flight, and we came here really late. I don't I don't know what time it was, but definitely after midnight. And the other two luggage didn't come. So we we ended up here with just a handbag.

SPEAKER_03 14:39

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 14:40

And I didn't know where we're going. We didn't even have a hotel booked or no, I we didn't at all, but what I did because I I think because before arriving here, I was in a big massive distress. Massive. I it it was not just the distress of me leaving, but it was hard for me to leave. It was not an easy yeah. Um nobody was quite understanding why I was doing what I was doing. And my ex-husband didn't want me to leave, so it was more like a hiding, running away.

SPEAKER_02 15:15

Right.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

And um and nobody believed I could make it, I could go. I mean, I remember one moment with my son, because we think that children don't listen and don't understand, and but we were fighting a lot with my ex. And there is a moment that the whole country knew that I was leaving, but we didn't have anything in order. So there was um one day my son comes and said, Mom, this is my last day in my school. The whole school and all my friends did the goodbye party. Everybody knows I'm not going back to the school. I'm just telling you that I'm going to kill myself. What? And I thought he was, I said, what? He said, because you think I don't understand, we're not going to London. We are and and and this is a shame because you have ashamed me. And everybody thinks we're going to London and you are lying because we're not going to London. Well, uh, when when he told me that, he was right because at that time we had no evidence.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

Oh, I see. You haven't booked anything, there are no plans.

SPEAKER_04 16:29

No money, no plans, no visa, no nothing. And we had just like less than two months. So he finished school like June. September was a deadline.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Gosh.

SPEAKER_04 16:44

Yeah. And I said, Mama, I never lied to you. We're going to London. I said, Mom, I I hear you. I I heard you talking to Daddy. I know everything. Just so you know, I know stuff. And you know we're not going to London, and I don't know why you're doing this.

SPEAKER_03 17:04

Wow. Where did he think you were going then?

SPEAKER_04 17:08

Well, um, no, uh, we were kind of planning to come to London, but because he was listening to our conversation, he knew that I was living a delusional dream. It was just a dream. Right. So so I I resign and I um I tell everybody, I make it public, I say. So it does look like you've gone a bit crazy. I had taken a decision. I've gone crazy definitely. Yeah. And uh my mom definitely crying, thinking like something is brainwashed in my mind. And uh nobody could really understand, but I could usually I say when I tell my story I already had arrived in London. My body was in Albania, but my mind, my spirit, my soul was here. Wow. I could see myself walking in the streets of London and New York and Singapore. I already was living in my meditation all over.

SPEAKER_03 18:09

So you were visualizing what it was going to look like.

SPEAKER_04 18:12

Yeah, all of it felt real, even though you were. It felt really real, but no, I had no evidence. And all of that just came just I I I don't remember exactly how many days before, but it happened just the day that I had promised my son that would be in London. Of course, we came here in big distress because we lost the luggage, I didn't know where I was going, and because I didn't have time to plan, because we couldn't plan without having everything in order, we needed a visa and we needed enough money in the bank account, we needed um all my my school uh uh approval, so it was quite a process, but for me I knew that is is coming. I just felt I yeah, I had the big massive faith that so you arrive here, you've got no plans, nowhere to stay, and now you've created this incredible business.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

So what how did what happened? How did you manage to move from that with a 12-year-old boy? Which, as a single mum, I know how difficult it is, even if you're in the same country and you know where you're living. How on earth did you navigate that?

SPEAKER_04 19:26

Well, I I laugh now because when we arrived, I I I always find the opportunity to thank a great friend of mine who saw me. I was looking for help in Facebook, and she came to pick me up at the airport uh together with her husband. So they kept us in their house for a week until they found us a studio flat somewhere in Kilburn. So this is where the journey started in in Kilburn. And that was um hard beginning because I I I was trying to find a job and I couldn't find a job. And my very first job was a cleaner.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

Wow. Yeah. So from being on television and a psychologist and teaching at a university.

SPEAKER_04 20:08

And I was happy because my I remember my friend said, forget who have you been in in Albania here as an immigrant, you have to start like everybody starts. Wow, that's pretty much it. Forget the luxury life where we all start somewhere somewhere. I said, I don't mind as far as I have enough food in the table for my son, and I can pay my bills, and I don't go back because I've burned the bridges. I just don't want to go back. I'm happy. And but I got fired in five days. Oh. She found me a job as a cleaner. And uh I got fired because I I lost direction, I couldn't go back home. She um uh the lady that I was working for, she asked me to go and because she had some health condition, she asked me to go to buy the meat here and buy this here, and she put everything in a piece of paper and she was talking nonsense to me because I couldn't understand very well English, yeah, especially if if it was very English accent. I was just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. But in my mind, it was like when I go out, I'm going to ask some people, and maybe they will tell me where is the shop. But I I asked the wrong people, or they told me the wrong direction. And I ended up back home at 6 p.m. And she was upset because I was supposed to go lunchtime and cook and clean and continue. Right. So she fired me. Right. I go I go back home crying, and my friend is just laughing at me. He said, unbelievable, how can you lose your job in five days? It never happened. I said, please find me another one. After two weeks, she uh she managed to find me another one. She said, This time, please make sure you just do it right. I lost it in three days.

SPEAKER_03 21:56

Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_04 21:57

Because this time, and usually say, I'm a Cleaner because I used to clean in the village a lot. Now my partner laughs at me because I said, You're a good cleaner when you clean, but I don't like cleaning anymore. And um so this time I I clean the living room and I clean the rest of the house, and it's time to clean the bedroom, but she's not getting out. And I got worried, so I go to the bedroom. I said, knock on the door, she's not coming. And I said, Madame, are you okay? And she was crying. I said, No, I'm not okay. I said, What happened? I said, Today is my mom's birthday. Thanks God she's dead. Because of her, I suffer now in bed. And at that time I had a mop in my hand, and my Albanian temper, you could see. I said, What? Get out of the bed! You can't blame your mama at the age of 40. I can't believe I did it. It's just like automatically. And she got scared, I guess, because she she she came out and we went to the kitchen, and I got a tea for her, coffee for me, and they sit down. And she opens up and I open up and she talks and I talk. And then she how do you know all this stuff? I feel better. I said, Well, I'm doing a PhD in psychology. Oh my god, she didn't like it. She said, You're tired. So I go back home again crying. Wow. And my friend is uh my friend was like screaming at me. I said, unbelievable. And then she said, Why in earth did you tell her you're doing a PhD in psychology? I mean, you don't tell that, even if you're doing like a, I don't know, um a project manager. You have you have to underqualify yourself.

SPEAKER_03 23:35

Yeah, but you shouldn't be afraid to say who you are, you shouldn't be uh afraid to shine your light. But yeah, that's the reality if you're working your way up, I guess. But I don't like that.

SPEAKER_04 23:45

Well, uh, I think everything happens for a reason. Yeah. Because then uh I I sit down and I I cry a little bit more, I go deeper and I feel like maybe the universe is reminding me why I'm here and I should go and find my path.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

Now that is interesting. That interests me because a lot of people in that situation would go, I've had two jobs, I've been fired twice, I've come here, I'm going through my heartbreak of my divorce, I'm a single parent, I'm struggling for money, I'm staying in a flat in Kilburn, my life is not good. But you didn't. You went, what is life trying to teach me at this moment? That is what set you apart in that moment. Hi, it's Sarah here. Now, if you're struggling, if this episode is bringing up anything for you, maybe you're finding it hard with your breakup right now, please know that you are not alone. If you need extra support, please join our free online support groups that happen every month. You can also join our brand new club that is coming very soon, and so watch out for that too. Also, if you'd like to train with me to become a breakup and divorce coach, please do go to the website. You can find our support groups, my books, access to all our programmes and trainings on Sarah Davison.com. Now, back to the episode. Now that is interesting. That interests me because a lot of people in that situation would go, I've had two jobs, I've been fired twice, I've come here, I'm going through my heartbreak of my divorce, I'm a single parent, I'm struggling for money, I'm staying in a flat in Kilburn, my life is not good. But you didn't. You went, what is life trying to teach me at this moment? That is what set you apart in that moment.

SPEAKER_04 25:37

Um, I think I knew that I didn't come here to give up. And the first two, three years in London have been the hardest of the hardest, but the happiest time in my life ever. Because I could see that that was the beginning of something. And I could see that I was training myself for something bigger. And it I knew it was temporary. I just had faith and I was so relaxed. I remember my mom, my mom, my son, because I was happy. I never remember. I mean, even I could try five minutes and come on, pick yourself up. It's going to be okay, move on. That's fine. And I remember my son saying once, I said, Mom, what are you taking? I said, What do you mean? I said, You are happy all the time. You have no reason to be happy. And I said, son, uh, I am taking water. And I remember I sat down, I said, if you really want to protect yourself, make sure you live you create your own bubble, you take your own decisions, yeah, and you have you know, you know that there is a new day that you are going to fight for and wait for and keep going. Yeah. So uh I think that I don't know where did I get that, but to be honest, no, I was not worried. I was not. Even when I didn't have the money to pay my rent, I I I had many times my landlord saying, I'm going to get your stuff in the street. I didn't have money to pay my rent the first year, the first two years. It was hard. And I couldn't do much because being a single mom in a student visa, it was really hard to find even a part-time job.

SPEAKER_03 27:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:19

So I don't know what I did. I did whatever, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 27:22

I think a lot of people listening will resonate with that, maybe feel that I'm going through that, I can't pay my bills, or I'm waking up with anxiety, or I'm I'm I'm worrying about things. But you have the ability to not worry. Can you maybe give us some insights if we're going through that? People listening are going through that. What can they do if they're in that situation?

SPEAKER_04 27:43

Well, I have been in a place where I used to worry a lot, and that didn't help me. And then I realized when I took myself in a journey of learning how to live my life and self-healing and self-discovery, I learned a lot, and I'm a good student. I learned that people worry for things that never happen. True. And I've been there. So I started making a list of what's the worst thing is going to happen. I'm going to go in the street. I'm going to back go back in Albania. Um, all kinds of things. But then I felt like maybe it will not happen. And I'm just worrying for things that are. And then you think again and say, but let's suppose it happens. Why do I worry now? Let's worry when it happens. I'm not going to live in the worry forever. So let's move on. And I started training myself, especially when I studied psychology. I studied for myself, and then of course I could see that it helped me to help others as well. I uh I did quite a lot of meditation. I learned how to command my thoughts, how to direct my thoughts. Even in the biggest worry, I could control what I was thinking and where I was going. And that has been life-changing, to be honest, because since I was a child, I was in a miserable place for a long, long time until after I started healing after the grief of my daughter. I think that has been a beginning of uh really taking control of my life. Because you take control of your life, not when your life is in order, when your thoughts are in order. You can control your life only when you control your thoughts. Because you can have a wonderful life and you still don't have your life in control.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

I love that.

SPEAKER_04 29:35

You can have your life in control in no matter what situation you are when you can control your thoughts. And that's why my son many times said, Mom, you have no reason to be happy. You have no reason not to be worried, you have no reason not to be concerned. Why in are you taking so easy? He was like, because I can control myself. And being worried, it doesn't help me.

SPEAKER_03 29:57

It doesn't mean though you're not taking action or doing something to move yourself forward, right? You're not sitting back watching EastEnders all day.

SPEAKER_04 30:04

No, being worried, it stops you to take actions. Yeah. Yeah. Stopping worrying, I started making plans. I started seeing things in a different angle. Because when you are worried, you're paralyzed. And when you're paralyzed, it is going to take a long time until you take a decision. Now, as I usually say, your life is not going to change overnight, but there is something that changes overnight. A decision. A decision, first of all, to take yourself in a new journey, but also to understand that this journey is a long journey. Now, I have taken myself in a long journey. Every time that I would go through hardships, I would say, oh, right. So you believe I should train myself on this too? Oh, so you believe I can handle this one too? Because I know everyone is equipped with the ability to solve any problem. Otherwise, the problem would never come to us. And every problem that comes to me, I know the solution has arrived before the problem. I just need to search for it. And if I am worried, it's going to take me so long for me to see it. Because when you are worried, you are vague, you are blurry, you don't have clarity, and you are in the victim zone. I just, that's not my zone. Two things that I never, never would see myself again is being in the victim zone and being entitled for. Like you should give it to me because I deserve it, or I uh you should um choose me because I am who I am. No, uh for me, I have learned that you have to earn it.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

And in order for you to earn it, it doesn't mean that maybe I deserve it, but nobody is going to hand it over to you only because you deserve it. You have to show that you deserve it.

SPEAKER_03 32:00

You have to work hard. Yeah. You have to put the effort in.

SPEAKER_04 32:03

Yeah. And you have to love the process of working hard. Now I I feel like I have come that far, so the only thing that I enjoy in life right now, 100%, is working.

SPEAKER_03 32:16

Wow.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

Put me into a spa. One hour later, I get bored.

SPEAKER_03 32:21

Oh my god, I'm so the same. That is so me. My friends are like, spa day, I'm going to- No, thank you. Spa half day or an hour, I'm fine with that. Otherwise, my brain's going about work because I love it too.

SPEAKER_04 32:33

Yeah, I love it. I love it. And it's the journey because once I took myself in the journey, maybe I was not seeing results, but I was really loving the person who I was becoming because I came here in very with very limited resources, very little English, no connections, no knowing nobody, uh, not enough knowledge. I never lived abroad before. Big world.

SPEAKER_03 33:03

I mean, that is quite incredible because when we think about what you've built now, maybe you can explain to my listeners what you've built. Because your business is an empire, it's global, and you have touched hundreds of thousands of people's lives around the world. And now, and I'm so grateful for you for just sharing your story because I think it really sets the scene for the work that you're doing now. So, how did Global Woman and the movement, and it is a movement that you've created, how did that get started?

SPEAKER_04 33:35

It's a long story, and we don't have time to tell the whole story. But I think everything was part of the puzzle, part of the plan, what I was meant to do. So when I moved here, I knew I was here for something big.

SPEAKER_03 33:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:48

And it's still small, but it's it will get big. Um, I knew that was a matter of fact, a matter of, I have I had already signed the agreement with myself that I'm here for a big thing. Otherwise, I go home because I I didn't leave for nothing. I gave myself, it's like you give yourself the last shot.

SPEAKER_03 34:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 34:07

And I saw it as a as a last shot. But coming here as an as an Albanian in 2012, it was the most toughest experience to go through because it was the right the just the wrong time to come to London. It was this movie called Pacon, advertised everywhere, underground, and in billboards. And I never watch movies, I never watch horror, I never watch news, and I I watch nothing. The only thing I'm interested in, laser focus, is my movement. I'm not interested. You have lost me in anything else. And and I go to these events and say, oh, where is this accent coming from? I say, Albania, and people are running away. Oh my god. I said, why people are running away from you? What have I done? So to build trust as an Albanian, it was hard. Right. Because even still today, yeah, we see we hear this immigrants go home. I said, no, I don't want to go home. I want to stay here. So it was it was hard, but I took the challenge because I felt like the harder it becomes, yeah, the better for me. Because easy everybody can do. Now I have a story. This is a story I tell myself. So the story I tell myself, I said, well done, girl, you go. If you want to build the global movement, number one thing you need to build is trust. Just so you know, trust, nobody's going to give it to you, and they're going to challenge you. The whole world is going to be against you. One thing that you have to promise yourself, you never go against you. You never let yourself down. Let the whole world let you down. You just have to keep going. Wow. Their job is to judge. No victim, let them judge. Yeah. Their job is to judge, your job is to earn it, because nobody is going to hand it over to you. So that is the inner dialogue that I trained myself. And it's very interesting because once you strengthen your muscle, your mental muscle, and you mobilize your whole mental army to be vigilant, uh, when you are down, pick yourself up because nobody's coming to save you. Especially if you're a single mom and you are responsible for your child. And that this is what kept me on and on and on in hard moments, in old tough moments. Uh, you start, you do it again, you screw up, you do mistakes, you you mess up, you um.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

So, what was the vision for the movement?

SPEAKER_04 36:49

Well, I uh I still it's it's still in the making. I still see it's a it's a long journey, but I know um I see the results now. Once women come in the room, they can connect so easy with me. Because when a woman comes and she starts crying, I have problems. Something that I would do before, I would cry with her. And now I say, no, no, no, darling, we're not going there. No, no, no, we don't have time. Move, move, move, delete blockheads, come, come, come, come and see our problems first, and then we talk about yours. And and um the whole thing is like join the club because I never met a woman that didn't have traumas and abuse and pain and dark moments and crisis. Never met one.

SPEAKER_05 37:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:43

Never, or maybe these are the women I'm attracting. They come and say, darling, we're not going there. We're all in the same boat. We're not going to that victim zone anymore. We have stayed for so long there. We're going to pick it up, let's package it nicely, let's go out there, let's go and take others back. Because we are old in in join the club. Yeah. So it's the club of pain to turn it into a purpose. And then we laugh at it. And uh and as the way I see it is like the problems are always there, but if you are bigger than the problem, the problem doesn't exist. How many times we worried for big problems that were a few years ago, and now we laugh at it. I said, why did I worry for nothing? For these people that they don't deserve to have access in my life.

SPEAKER_03 38:32

Also, I think a lot of people, and I used to do this too, you think, say, for example, your divorce or your breakup is the end of the world and it's trauma and it's difficult. But I always say, looking back, you know, my divorce, my breakup was the biggest gift. And sometimes with hindsight, your greatest pain can be your greatest gift, and you can turn that into a purpose or a passion or a superpower and use that to get stronger and be happier. And that's a choice, though, right? So you made a choice, I made a choice. Um, and it's in those pivotal moments that I think we learn to take our voice back, take our power back, stand up. Maybe we don't know where we're going, like when you came here, you didn't know where you were going, but it's one foot in front of the other and surrounding yourself with good people like your friend who took you in and who found you a job and the women that you now support and help.

SPEAKER_04 39:24

Yeah, and and you're so right, absolutely. And don't take me wrong, the pain is still there. Yeah. So uh what changes is like you just increase the threshold of enduring the pain. Uh, because there are still moments where you feel like you don't want to wake up in the morning, or like white people do this, and but then you think, oh, I've been there before, move on. You don't have time, you don't have the luxury to stay in the crying mode for long, because this is what happens. If you stay there for a long time, when you come back, you're not going to find things as you uh left them. You will have to start warming them again. So when you are in business, when especially when you kind of take responsibility of leadership, you don't you don't have the luxury of crying and and seeking for help, or you just don't have that because you have every single day, every single moment, the responsibility of being there for your people. And the more the more we grow the community, the more I feel like I really don't have the time to be worried or to be in pain or to be sick, or yeah, you don't have that time.

SPEAKER_03 40:47

I think it's interesting as well that quite often as women, I think that, and what I see from the people that I work with and in my community, that very often we think we are less than because of our experiences, that we are damaged in some way, broken in some way. I mean, there's that horrible term broken home, all those things. And it and it's like almost we feel the guilt, we carry the shame. Yeah, but it's it's really not our shame to carry, as Giselle Petico said. It's really not. The trauma we've been through actually is a badge of honour. It's you've got this far and you've survived. And if you can get through that, what else can you get through? Pretty much anything if you've been to Hellenback several times, yeah, and you carry the scars, the emotional scars, maybe, they don't have to define you, it's what you choose to do about it that makes you the person you are. And I think that we have to consciously take back control of the message that women get to say, look, the more trauma you've been through, the more hardships, the more times you've stepped up, that is incredible. That's the strength, especially with juggling a child as well in the mix. And I know a lot of people listening will be single parents listening to this.

SPEAKER_05 41:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:55

And, you know, anyone that's gone through that and come out of a toxic relationship or a really difficult heartbreak where maybe your partner's run off with somebody else. And yeah, the the shame and the trauma, the embarrassment, the overwhelm, the fear, you know, to have lived through that and to be standing, and not only standing, but going, I'm gonna go forward and I'm going to grow and carry on supporting and loving and being the person I am, that is what we have to celebrate with women.

SPEAKER_04 42:21

Absolutely, absolutely. It's is you take a decision to stay in your path. So when you take a decision and you are certain that there is a reason why you have chosen this path and you are aligned with your higher self. And of course, I always talk about uh take the risk and get out of your comfort zone. But also you there are you you you decide which are the risks that you're going to take and the risks that you will never take. For example, you can't take a risk that is out of your control. You can't take a risk that are other people involved. And you can't take a risk that um it's not ethical. So these are the I you I I kind of take a calculated risk because I believe that if I am aligned and in harmony with myself and I have a um a vision and I I feel like I have found my calling, I know that I will not let be down. But on the other side, being a mom, it was hard because all the time I was thinking like um when my son grows up and I can leave him alone, maybe I could do more. And that was the beginning when I really started seeing the results. When my son became 18, oh, you could see me. That was when I started traveling. Oh wow. I started leaving him alone. Uh because and I I am if there is something I empathize with with women and moms, uh yes, we say, yeah, you can do it, you can juggle, but it's so hard. If you're a single mom and you don't have support and you don't have family, you can't leave your child alone. And I was tight. I was tight. For example, I would go in the morning, I walk him my son in school, and then from the morning until 3 p.m. I would go and find networking events or conference. I was hungry to learn. I was determined, a very, very good student to network, to connect, to learn to what is business, how does it work, find a job or not a job. I I I did everything, but three o'clock, four o'clock, I would go back home. I'm a mom. And I couldn't go evenings or I couldn't go weekends or I couldn't go anywhere. And it was it was hard. But from the moment that my son became 18, you could see me. I started traveling around the world, I started putting things together, and that was the beginning of really building a business. So it is not easy when you take a risk, you have also to see who are the people that are involved and are uh you have responsibility for.

SPEAKER_03 45:10

Yeah, yeah, that's true. And I think it's about tapping into your purpose. It doesn't feel like work because you love it so much, like you and I clearly do. Um but also it takes hard work, and that's something that I think people think, oh well, it it comes easy, and you're looking at you, you know, and and that's why I really wanted to go back and start with your story because you've achieved so much and you've got an incredible business and you're helping so many people, which I know is your driver, um, and you do it so effortlessly and so well. But I know it comes with hard work, I know it comes with years. This is a this is 30 years of overnight success, if you like it. But you know, people look and go, oh, well, it's easy for you because you're confident, it's easy for you because you're good on camera, you're great when you to chat to, you know all this stuff, but that's because you studied, because you worked, you grafted, and you still do.

SPEAKER_04 46:00

And I think it's about repetition because I didn't have this confidence. My God, no. You could see me at the beginning. I would say all the time, sorry for my English. I'm sorry, I was shaking until one day there was um this lovely lady today, is one of my best friends, um, English, and she saw me on stage shaking and saying, saying, Sorry for my English. And when I finished, she said, Come here, come here, come here. I never forget this moment. She put me in the corner and said, You never ever say that again because your English is perfect. Stop it. I keep hearing you all the time. And she was mad at me. And have you realized that sometimes it just takes one person to give you the permission that you are okay, you don't need to say it again. Because I never said it again.

SPEAKER_03 46:45

It would be great if that person was you, though, right? And we could give ourselves permission to stop treating ourselves badly like that.

SPEAKER_04 46:51

Exactly, yes, that's so true. So um it it was it was not easy. But uh now I when I coach women and I take them in the journey of transformation, because it's all life is all about the change. You're not not changing, uh, you're you're dead. And and I say, darling, you have to embarrass yourself. So, what do you mean? So you have to do things that you feel embarrassed. Yes. This is how you know that you're growing. And I know it's hard because nobody wants to do that. So, for example, you go on stage when you're shaking, you go in a take a microphone when you don't know what you're saying. Yeah, you start a business, you still have no clue. So, this kind of things. You you just put yourself, you don't like to do social media, you still do it. You you need to learn how to talk to your phone and and post a dumb video even if it's not perfect. Yes. Put it out there. Yes, yes. Let people judge you, let people say what is she talking about, who she thinks she is. That is growth, that is courage. So I've been there and I've experienced all kinds of judgment and and and I had to just take it. Because business is about, it's not about how much knowledge you have. This is something that really helped me to keep going because I have no knowledge about business, but what I understand and what people say is like business is about how much can you take, how much can you endure, yes, how much embarrassment.

SPEAKER_03 48:14

It's very true.

SPEAKER_04 48:16

Yeah, how much shame. So I said, I I can handle little by little and see where it goes. And now I see amazing women that I work with. They are incredible, talented, great skills, and what really makes me be really, how say, upset is because we as women we chase validation all the time. Let me do that course, let me do that training, let me do that qualification, another degree, another certification. I'm a certified coach, I am this coach, I'm in this trainer, and we do it another one and another one and another one, a master's degree. I have two master's degrees, and I came to study psycho PhD, and I still was feeling like I'm not good enough. I I don't know what to do, I can't start, I can't charge people that much. And no matter what you do, you go in the tree, you drop from the tree, people are going to say whatever they want to say. You will be judged. Let people judge you. That is the biggest liberation. Yeah. Uh, and as this concept of theory led them, I have another theory which now I'm putting in my book, um, because I worked for with women who have been abused. And one big thing that helped me, to be honest, as I was trained by the organization to run the workshops, for me it was a big liberation uh when I realized that I have the rights to choose the people in my life. I never felt I had that right. I I felt like I don't. You can't choose the family members, you can't choose the extended family, you can't if you're if you're stuck, you're stuck. And then, oh my god, you could see what a liberation. I said, I I can, why not? Well, what can I do then? Block them. And this block them came at that moment when I felt like because what happens, especially if you're in an abusive relationship, most of the women want to let their perpetrators, they want to let their partners, but they don't let them. So that this is the process when I learned that blocking that toxic environment and blocking the toxic energy and and blocking access to you is the biggest growth. Because this is the exact thing I did. That's why I felt healed and I felt powerful, because I blocked the toxic energy. When I moved here, because you can move in a new country, but you can still let people reach you. Yes, exactly. The very first decision I did, I say I blocked everybody. For a year or two, nobody could have access to me. The only access I would give it was my son, my sister, and some new people that I would meet, and it was like a new brand, fresh me. I killed the cow. It's a long story. I've uh I told about this story in my TEDx. So once you give yourself a chance to create a new bubble and you live in the bubble, you're fresh. You're like a baby. You wake up in the morning and you have no memories, you have no toxic conversations, you have no people uh mocking you, or and the the the new people who are trying to put you down, very easy. Next day they don't exist. Move on. I love it. So that is exactly what really empowered me because I started um giving myself the permission that I have the right to choose the people, and people, people, people can make you or break you. It's very true. And um then I I I just upgrade my people and upgrade and upgrade, upgrade my my expectations, and as you upgrade the expectation, you upgrade the people, and as you grow in the journey, you become ruthless. Because at some point, especially when you hit the age of 50, you just don't care anymore. Honestly. I usually tell my I tell all my ladies, I said, ladies, this is your last shot. Can you just leave for you? Live your life for you, be nice, be kind. Uh I never attack people, but I'm very protective of my energy. And if I see people that are not aligned with my energy, as my new book is coming, block, delete, move, no heart feeling. I love you. I'm blocking you. Temporary, maybe in the future, I can give you access again, but not for now.

SPEAKER_03 52:38

I love it. So, what's the new book called?

SPEAKER_04 52:40

Uh block, delete, remote block, delete, move on. Oh, it's called block, delete, move on.

SPEAKER_03 52:44

I love that. Oh my goodness. Okay, we've got to wrap up. I could talk to you for hours. I love all your advice you're giving. It's fantastic. I have one last question for you, which I ask all my guests. My podcast is called Heartbreak to Happiness. So, what is happiness for you? Happiness is to live in your bubble.

SPEAKER_04 53:04

Uh create your bubble to choose the thinking, to choose the people, to do things that give you joy and purpose and meaning, and especially when you are in your path and you have a target, you become laser-focused, no distraction, and you become ruthless to your to protect your mission and to protect your vision, because that includes more than you, and you do this for you, but also for people who believe in your vision. Love that. And we are in charge for our happiness. Nobody's going to make us happy.

SPEAKER_03 53:50

So true. So true. Such wise words. For those people that want to find you, where can they go to find you?

SPEAKER_04 53:57

Well, very easy if they Google my name, Mireila Sula, thousands of articles and there are. We spent a long time going through a lot of them. Global Uman Club, uh, join the club, darling. We have an app with over 40,000 members in the app. It's Global Uman Lounge. Um, many people can access uh quite a good part of it for free as well. We do I do speak around the world, we do uh have a community around the world, and I am very approachable, very accessible. I I I don't think I have achieved much when women come and say, Oh my god, you are so um inspiring. No, but I think you you know what I know there is a strategy where you have to uh protect yourself, but I I don't need to protect myself from my people.

SPEAKER_02 54:51

No.

SPEAKER_04 54:51

And women who joined the club are my people.

SPEAKER_03 54:55

Oh, I love that. I love that. Thank you so much for coming and for sharing so many pearls of wisdom. I found it incredible, and as I said, I could talk to you for hours.

SPEAKER_04 55:04

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 55:05

Thank you so much for being a fabulous guest.

SPEAKER_04 55:07

Thank you. Lovely to be here, and congratulations for everything you have achieved as well. It's it's a great inspirational journey. Oh, thank you, Marina.

SPEAKER_03 55:14

So that's it for today's episode. Please like, follow, subscribe, and all that good stuff. But before we go, I just want to thank Pension Bee for sponsoring this episode. Remember, their website and app can help you take control of your retirement savings. And if you're navigating divorce or starting over, that clarity really does matter. Download the Pension Bee app to get started. And remember, when investing, your capital is at risk. That's it for today. Thanks for watching. I hope you enjoyed it, and I look forward to seeing you on my next episode.

SPEAKER_00 55:59

That's it for today's episode of Heartbreak to Happiness. Don't forget to subscribe and leave a review to win a free ticket to Sara's virtual Heartbreak to Happiness retreat. This is a transformative combination of live webinars with Sara herself, coupled with her empowering online video program designed to help you cope better with your breakup and start feeling happy again. Thank you and join us again on the next episode for another dose of Heartbreak to Happiness.