Returning to Us
To help people who help people, the organization needs to be healthy and have practices in place that consider the trauma of those they serve. Lauren Spigelmyer and Jessica Doering have helped thousands of people who help people all over the world. Each week they'll explore tools, insights, and stories to help you lead and live with more clarity, calm, and connection. If you’re looking for support as you grow your organization’s capacity for caring for staff and the community, we would love to be part of that journey.
Episodes
199 episodes
Chaos to Connection
Today Lauren is setting the stage for a new series that encourages a shift from managing behavioral chaos to building meaningful connections, especially in classrooms. Lauren uses examples from her personal experience to illustrate how the idea...
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Season 5
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Episode 64
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22:10
Part 2: Behavior isn't the Problem
In this episode, Lauren continues exploring the connection between behavior and the nervous system, focusing on the stress responses known as fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. She encourages us to look beyond the surface of behaviors like hittin...
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Season 5
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Episode 63
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17:28
Part 1: Behavior isn't the Problem
Behavior is a signal that we need to interpret, but it's not the problem. Lauren challenges us to stop and ask a different question when we see extreme behaviors: I wonder what happened that is driving this? Lauren takes us through ...
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Season 5
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Episode 62
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21:05
Hive- The Last Stage of the Five Ives
In this episode, Lauren and Jessica explore the final stage of the Five Ives framework: Hive. This stage is all about meaningful connection—both personally and organizationally—after individuals have reached a more stable and grounded state. Wh...
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Season 5
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Episode 61
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27:57
Thrive- The Fourth Stage of the Five Ives
In this episode, Lauren and Jessica explore the fourth stage of the Five Ives framework—Thrive. In the Thrive phase, individuals and organizations are aligned with their goals and truly "living the dream." Thriving looks like healthy communicat...
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Season 5
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Episode 60
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22:35
Strive- The Third Stage of the Five Ives
In this episode, Lauren and Jessica walk us through the third stage of the Five Ives—Strive. They unpack what it means to be in the Strive phase, both for organizations and individuals. For organizations, a positive culture in this stage is bui...
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Season 5
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Episode 59
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39:14
Revive- The Second Stage of the Five Ives
Today Lauren and Jessica dive into the second stage of the Five Ives framework: Revive. After becoming more self-aware and stepping out of pure survival mode, the journey into Revive is all about beginning the slow, intentional process of heali...
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Season 5
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Episode 58
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39:53
Survive- The First Stage of the Five Ives
In this episode, Lauren and Jessica reintroduce the Five Ives—Survive, Revive, Strive, Thrive, and Hive—and take a closer look at the first step: Survive. Many people are unknowingly stuck in a state of survival, shaped by trauma, chronic stres...
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Season 5
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Episode 57
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33:55
What are the Five Ives?
Lauren and Jessica, education professionals and creators of the Five Ives program, walk us through their journey to starting the Five Ives. Witnessing students' disruptive behaviors as trauma responses, they realized their lack of training. Yea...
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Season 5
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Episode 56
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31:47
Oxytocin: Your Brain’s Natural Balancer
In this episode of the Returning to Us Podcast, Lauren announces the show’s move to the Five IVES website and wraps up the nervous system series with a look at hormones. Cortisol and Adrenaline—our “stress squad”—can throw us off balan...
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Season 4
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Episode 55
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17:47
Understanding Heart Rate Vulnerability: Tools for a More Regulated Nervous System
In this episode, Lauren dives into the importance of Heart Rate Variability (HRV) and how it reflects the state of your nervous system. She shares seven practical ways to support and improve HRV—like cold water exposure, humming, singing, rhyth...
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Season 4
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Episode 54
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31:08
From Stuck to Safe: A Deeper Dive to Rewiring Your Nervous System After Freeze & Fawn
If you’ve ever felt frozen in stress or stuck in people-pleasing mode, you’re not alone. But knowing why you freeze or fawn is just the first step—the real transformation comes from learning how to shift into safety and resilience....
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Season 4
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Episode 53
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31:29
Why Freeze State Happens in Two Different Ways (and Why it Matters)
Ever felt completely stuck in the face of stress—unable to act, speak, or even think clearly? Or do you find yourself saying “yes” just to avoid conflict, even when you don’t want to? These are nervous system responses—freeze and fawn—and they’...
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Season 4
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Episode 52
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23:37
Can Play REALLY Help You to Regulate?
In this episode, Lauren explores the concept of play as a powerful tool for nervous system regulation. While we often associate play with childhood, she reminds us it's just as vital for adults. Whether you're playing with your kids, g...
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Season 4
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Episode 51
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24:24
Daily Habits for a Healthy Nervous System
In today’s episode, Lauren continues her discussion on the nervous system, highlighting simple, effective rituals to support regulation throughout the day. By focusing on small, manageable practices instead of drastic changes, she makes consist...
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Season 4
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Episode 50
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23:37
Nature's Role in Nervous System Regulation
In this episode, Lauren explores the powerful connection between nature and nervous system regulation. Spending time outdoors can lower cortisol levels, activate the vagus nerve, improve heart rate variability, and heighten sensory awaren...
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Season 4
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Episode 49
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21:38
Rhythms That Regulate
In this episode, Lauren delves deeper into nervous system regulation, exploring how rhythm can be a powerful tool for finding your window of tolerance—both reactively and proactively. She explains how engaging with steady, predictable rhy...
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Season 4
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Episode 48
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16:15
The Power of Cold Exposure: How the Cold Can Calm Your Nervous System
In this episode, Lauren continues to explore ways to reset the nervous system. Today, she talks specifically about using cold exposure to activate the vagus nerve to promote calm and build resilience. She shares a handful of cold exposure metho...
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Season 4
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Episode 47
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25:14
Beyond Deep Breaths: Surprising Ways to Reset Your System
Today, we're diving into the power of breath—but with a twist. You've probably heard about deep belly breathing or box breathing, but what about humming, sighing, or even yawning as breathwork? In this episode, we’ll explore non-traditional bre...
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Season 4
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Episode 46
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24:20
Polyvagal Theory - what in the world is it and why should I care?
So, what is Polyvagal Theory? This theory was developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, and it helps us understand how our nervous system shapes the way we experience the world—especially in terms of safety, connection, and stress. Now do yo...
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Season 4
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Episode 45
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32:36
Vagus Nerve: The Key to Calm
Today we’re diving into one of the most fascinating parts of your nervous system: the vagus nerve. Often called the body’s "superhighway of calm," the vagus nerve plays a crucial role in regulating your stress response and overall well-being. F...
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Season 4
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Episode 44
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25:33
How Stress Changes Your Brain and Body
In this episode, Lauren dives into how prolonged stress impacts the brain and body. She explains how chronic or traumatic stress rewires key areas of the brain—such as the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and hippocampus—shifting us into survival m...
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Season 4
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Episode 43
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34:43
The Link Between Technology and Nervous System Dysregulation
In this episode, Lauren dives into the profound impact of our hyper-connection to technology on our nervous system and explores how we can reclaim regulation through a digital detox. Constant notifications, endless scrolling, and exposure to sc...
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Season 4
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Episode 42
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20:09
Find Your Way Back to the Window of Tolerance
In this episode, Lauren delves deeper into the significance of expanding and maintaining your Window of Tolerance. She shares practical strategies to help you identify when you've stepped outside your Window of Tolerance and introduces evidence...
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Season 4
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Episode 41
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25:23
Micro Changes Macro Results
In this episode, Lauren reintroduces the concept of the Window of Tolerance and shares practical tips for breaking behavioral patterns and resetting your nervous system. She explains how to identify your current state of dysregulation and sugge...
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Season 4
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Episode 40
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13:46