Sober Vibes: Alcohol free lifestyle tips for long-term sobriety, whether you're sober curious or ready to quit drinking for good

How EFT Tapping Helps Calm Cravings, Beat FOMO, and Build Real Confidence with Sophia Graniela

• Courtney Andersen, Sophia Graniela • Season 7 • Episode 255

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What if the bravest thing you do is stop negotiating with alcohol?

In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, Courtney Andersen sits down with women’s mentor and certified EFT tapping practitioner Sophia Grinjella to explore what really happens after you decide to quit drinking and how to actually stay alcohol-free without white-knuckling.

Sophia shares how quitting alcohol at 29 reshaped her identity, friendships, travel experiences, and daily energy. What started as years of moderation and “trying to control it” eventually led to a full pivot into presence, health, and self-trust. A key part of that transformation? EFT tapping—a powerful blend of cognitive and somatic work that helps regulate the nervous system, calm cravings, and replace liquid courage with embodied confidence.

Together, Courtney and Sophia unpack the messy middle between deciding to quit and truly living free. They talk about grief for the old self, navigating FOMO, setting boundaries with friends, and learning how to show up at dinners, dates, airports, and social events without a glass in your hand.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What EFT tapping is and how it works for cravings and anxiety
  • How daily tapping routines can reduce urges and ease FOMO
  • Why the moderation cycle stalls real change
  • Regulating the nervous system to build absolute, lasting confidence
  • Practical tools for airports, dinners, and social events
  • How to replace “liquid courage” with self-trust

This episode is for anyone ready to stop bargaining with alcohol and start building a life rooted in calm, clarity, and self-trust.

Resources Mentioned:

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel

1:1 Coaching

My Book 

Connect with Sophia:

Website

PODCAST SPONSOR:

This episode is sponsored by Soberlink, a trusted accountability tool for anyone navigating early recovery. Whether you're rebuilding trust with loved ones or want more structure in your sobriety, Soberlink offers a discreet and empowering way to stay on track.

Sober Vibes listeners, sign up HERE and claim our $100 Enrollment Bonus.

This episode is sponsored by ExactNature, a trusted holistic tool for anyone navigating recovery and sobriety. Use code SV25 at checkout to save on your order. Click here to shop and save. 

Grab my Masterclass for Free:

Gain access to my Masterclass when you submit a review on iTunes. Email me sobervibes@gmail.com with a screenshot of the review, and I will send you the code to unlock my Ma

Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast.


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Courtney Andersen:

Welcome to Sober Vibes, your podcast for alcohol-free lifestyle tips and real talk about long-term sobriety. I'm your host, Courtney Anderson, sober coach, author, and mom. Each week I share strategies, stories, and encouragement to help you navigate cravings, build confidence, and thrive in sobriety. Whether you're sober curious or years in, this is your space to feel supported and inspired. Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vibes Podcast. I am your host, Courtney Anderson, and we have an amazing guest on today. I talked to her on her podcast, so I was feeling the vibe. So I'm very happy she's on the show today. So good people of the world, welcome, Sophia Grinjella. Thank you so much, Courtney. I'm excited to be here. All right. So, Sophia, you how you are a women's mentor to EFT tapping, right? Yes. What exactly is EFT tapping for those who do not know?

Sophia Graniela:

Absolutely. So EFT stands for emotional freedom technique. And it dates back all the way to ancient Chinese medicine. And it's a beautiful blend of cognitive and somatic therapy. And so basically what you do is you tap on the meridians or the acupressure points. And I like to almost call it acupuncture but without the needles for anyone who needs a good visual. And essentially you're stimulating the energy, you're reprocessing different emotions, fears, anxiety, and you're able to actually rewire subconscious beliefs and help to regulate the nervous system and expand your capacity.

Courtney Andersen:

Oh, okay.

Sophia Graniela:

Nice. I love it.

Courtney Andersen:

How did you get into that?

Sophia Graniela:

Yeah, great question. So I learned about EFT a few years ago, but when I first was introduced, I was a little skeptical, like a lot of people. I was like, how on earth is tapping on your face going to change anything? And about a year ago, I started doing it every morning, every evening with Brad Gates. He's a really amazing guy. He's on YouTube for anyone who's interested. And I started following along for building confidence, getting past my fear of posting on social media, launching my podcast. And the results I saw were absolutely incredible. I really was transforming all of the self-doubt into self-trust and stepping into the most confident version of myself. And when I noticed how profound the results were, I got my certification and I started helping other women on their journeys as well. I love it. How long does that certification process take? Six months. It was a very in-depth process. And to be honest, there's a lot of kind of back and forth with EFT tapping. A lot of people say, Oh, you don't need a certification. Lots of people are teaching it without it. But because of how passionate I was, I really wanted to learn the science behind it and the ins and the outs. And so I decided to get certified.

Courtney Andersen:

Gotcha. And then when you started, you said a year ago with what was the guy's name again? I'm going to write it down. Brad Yates. Okay. And I will put his information in the show notes below. Good people of the world, in case you want to check him out. When you started into that, then how when you started into it on a consistent basis? Because I'm sure that makes a huge difference, being consistent with it, then when did you start seeing results or feeling results for you?

Sophia Graniela:

Yeah, honestly, when I started doing it consistently, which for me is every morning when I wake up and every evening before I go to bed, sometimes midday as well, I was feeling instant results because when you're tapping, you're immediately releasing energy. But in terms of like transforming self-doubt into confidence, I would say a couple of months consistently, I was noticing really, really big results.

Courtney Andersen:

I love it. I love it. All right. So we'll get back into this in a little bit with the EFT. But tell us when, tell us about your sobriety journey. When did you get sober? Kind of what was that moment for you, too, of when you're like, I'm I'm good. I'm good and tired with alcohol.

Sophia Graniela:

Yeah. So let me take you all the way back to childhood and kind of give you a brief explanation. Oh, I love it.

unknown:

I love it.

Sophia Graniela:

I grew up in a family where alcoholism, mental health struggles, and suicide was prevalent. And so chaos was always kind of my baseline and my normal. And so when I got into basically middle school, there was a lot of bullying that began. I was creative, little kid, loved music, sports, all of it. But as soon as the bullying hit, I thought to myself, okay, it's not safe to just be me and express myself. Yeah. And so what did I do? I did everything I could to numb, to fit in, to belong. And so what that meant was, how can I be a part of the quote unquote cool crowd? Right. How can I be accepted and loved? And so I started to change the way I looked. I started to do anything I could to get invited to the parties and the outings. And so I started drinking and using substances at 15 years old. Okay. And from 15 until 29, it was a really long cycle of self-abandonment, toxic and abusive relationships, not knowing how to say no in social settings, especially when it came to substances. And so basically I just realized finally at 29 years old, I had a moment of looking myself in the mirror. And I thought, I don't even recognize myself. I was a shell of myself. I was in over $25,000 of debt. I had nothing to show for. And I was about to be 30. And so it was just this moment of I felt this entire pulse go through my body. I was empty, heartbroken out of a relationship. And I thought, okay, I'm really scared of the unknown and what's to come, but staying where I am right now is a hundred times scarier. And I cannot continue living this way. And so in that moment, I decided to stop using substances, to stop partying the way that I was. But it still took me about six months of continuing putting myself in toxic environments, continuing being around the same friends, doing the same things, coming home at three in the morning, crying myself to sleep because I knew in my soul I was no longer meant to live in that lifestyle. But six months later, I went to a music festival in Miami and I drank way too much. Probably had 10 shots of tequila, complete out-of-body experience, lost my keys. I was angry. And I remember my higher self looking down on me in that moment. And she was like, Sophia, why do you continue to do this to yourself? You have so much potential. You know that you have such a big vision on your heart. And you just keep on putting yourself in these situations. And your only option is to stop completely. There's no moderation because that's only keeping you in this control. You have to release it fully. And I remember just looking at my friend that night and I just said to her, I'm done drinking. I have to stop. And after that, it was just a complete 180-degree transformation. And I just started to surround myself with new people, spend time in new environments. I started actually honoring myself and moving my body and prioritizing my health for the first time in my entire life. And of course, it wasn't easy after that, right? I had to release a lot of things that were no longer aligned. And that was a grieving process in itself. But that was really the start of my full sobriety.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah, I love it. To take it back to that six months before that six months, before you had the moment where it was like, all right, I'm gonna I can't do this anymore, but you kept at it for six months. Did that become a moderation cycle for you? To moderate.

Sophia Graniela:

So in those six months, yes. So there were still moments where I said, okay, I'm only gonna drink on Saturdays. I'm only gonna stay out till one in the morning instead of seven in the morning. I'm only gonna do this for my friend's birthday. And so it was still me trying to convince myself, which, like I said, moderation is another form of control. And I finally, after that six months, had that major realization of like, that's not helping me. That's literally just keeping me in the same loop. Yeah.

Courtney Andersen:

And that's what that's the tricky thing about moderation. It's like you're it's just like you said, it's another form of control. But you have zero control. Exactly. You have zero control when you have when that substance is in you. And then you're on that cycle of trying to negotiate with yourself of like, all right, let me just try to see, let me kind of try to keep the substance in my life when it's just like it's the purest freedom is when you completely let alcohol go. A hundred percent.

Sophia Graniela:

I could not agree more. Like that for me was the ultimate liberation. And before that, like my entire life, it was like periods of like, okay, dry January, and I'm not gonna drink for this. And then I would I would just come back and drink and party even harder. Yes. And it was just continuing keeping me where I was and not allowing me to truly unlock my potential.

Courtney Andersen:

Right. So when you quit drinking alcohol, what was that first year like for you? Because I did, and you did say like where it was like it wasn't hard because I like to also showcase that for people so they can hear it that that first year is not rainbows and butterflies. No, absolutely. Especially to of like what your story was saying. It was like from 15 to 29, it was just that was your coping tool, coping mechanism. Yeah, that was my whole identity.

Sophia Graniela:

Like, I truly didn't know anything outside of that. I didn't have hobbies. I we said I didn't have time to go to the gym and prioritize myself. But that's because alcohol and partying was the center of my world and my friendships and everything that I knew. And so when I finally decided to stop drinking and be fully sober, I had a very rude awakening. It was like, okay, I'm starting essentially from zero, right? I am building new friendships. I have to put myself completely outside of my comfort zone and put myself in environments where I can meet like-minded people that aren't just partying and going to clubs on the weekends.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Sophia Graniela:

I have to start to actually show up for myself and move my body and go to the gym because for me, that was one of the things that kept me going in my sobriety. I started doing Pilates and strength training, and those things kept me sane. And it was just like a complete identity rewire and learning about myself again. It was like a rediscovery journey of like, who am I before the world told me who to be? Like, what does some feel like? What are the things that actually give me joy and excitement? What is it that I actually want to create in this life? Because before that, it was when's the next party? Where's the after party? Like, are my friends going to like me if I'm this way? And it was just such a it was me relying on external validation for 15 years of my life versus living a life in alignment with my own values and like what do I want to do in my life? And so it was really, really difficult. I would say the first six months. And then after six months to a year, I started to actually realize like, oh my gosh, the world is my oyster now. Like it's actually really exciting to get to wake up and have energy and I can create the things I want to create and I'm not holding myself back anymore.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, because it does that first six, because you have to let your nervous system get you have to, because your nervous system is detoxing and then you're learning how to relive. And that is the whole thing. When your whole identity is wrapped up in in that relationship with alcohol, it takes some time to figure out who you are and then grieve your old self and that life because that you were that life for a very long time. Yes. And so I'm sure too when you quit, because when I quit, same thing at 29. I didn't, I didn't know I was gonna have to go through that process. I'm like, what in the flying fuck just happened? That was something. And then, but it was like, and I found myself grieving, and I knew it wasn't for the loss of my grandma at that time, and it was it was for that relationship with alcohol I had and who I was, because a lot that always came to me was like, well, if I'm not the party girl, who am I?

Sophia Graniela:

Who am I?

Courtney Andersen:

Exactly.

Sophia Graniela:

I was the life of the party with everyone, like everyone knew me as that. Yeah. And so having to then tell people, oh, I'm no longer drinking, right? And I would like talk down about myself in the beginning, like, oh yeah, I'm just boring now. I'm not drinking. And then finally, when I built the confidence, be like, no, this is actually the best thing that I could ever do for myself. And I am choosing myself for the first time in 29 years. And whoever respects that, okay, you get to come with me. And if you don't, then we're going on our journey separately.

Courtney Andersen:

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Sophia Graniela:

Yeah, so I definitely did lose a couple friends that were just my party friends. They were still very special to me at that point in time. But when I stopped drinking, I took off the rose-colored glasses and I realized that we were so different. Like we had such different values, different passions, different paths in life. And not that there's anything wrong with that, but I knew that they couldn't come with me on my journey if I was saying no. Mostly because a lot of these friends were still doing drugs and going out and staying out until the next day. And to be quite honest, like after a while, I didn't even desire to do that anymore. Like feeling healthy and energized after six months to a year, like that almost becomes addicting. Whereas like I don't ever desire to go back there. So I definitely lost friends. And I would say I distanced myself from a lot of people just because I couldn't be in that energy anymore. And so I let them go with love. And some of us still keep in contact here and there, but I had to create new friendships that I knew would be supportive on this path.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah. Right. And you quit at 29. Same, like I said, same thing for me. So it was like going into your 30s, your friend, I mean, friends still matter a lot, but it it is one of those things where it was like, especially if your friends were at the core of your identity, it's scary. So when you got sober at that time, because how many, it's been a couple of years, correct? Like it has been, it's been over two years now. Two. So what was your friend's reactions to you getting sober?

Sophia Graniela:

So I had a lot of friends that were like, oh, like you're gonna do this for a couple months and then you'll be back. That was a lot of them. And I kept being like, okay, you'll see. This is gonna be a lifestyle change. This isn't one or two months of me not drinking. This is me changing my entire life. And now, of course, they reach out and they're like, Oh my gosh, we're so proud of you. I can't believe you actually like stuck with it. And then we had a couple of friends, of course, that were a little bit triggered by my decision because I was no longer going to be the fun friends or the person that they could count on to close down the parties with them. And then I did have a good handful of friends that understood and that were really, really supportive. And of course, those people are still in my life today.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah, obviously. Because the supportive ones, that's who you got to focus on. It's very easy to sit there and focus on the ones who are like giving you shit or leaving you out or like, why aren't they inviting me anymore? Right. But it's the ones who will sit down with you and if you go out to dinner, who ask you, like, hey, is it cool if I have a glass of wine? Who are respecting your boundaries? And that are those are the ones the healthy friends are still including you. Those are the ones that you have to focus on. Because it's I just I think as humans, we're conditioned, especially in the this world nowadays, to focus on what we don't have compared to what we do. That's yeah. So because you also to travel, how did you start traveling for yourself? When did you start getting into traveling in your sobriety? And what was that first sober travel experience like for you?

Sophia Graniela:

Yeah. Oh my gosh. So I've always been a big traveler, but of course, drinking and partying was still like center of attention anytime I would take a trip with friends. Yeah. So my first sober trip actually was to Italy. And it was interesting because I was drinking a little in the beginning and then I was completely sober for the rest of it. And that was really my first ever time that I told myself I want to be fully present. I want to have the energy to wake up in the mornings and to watch the sunrise and to go and do the things that I actually want to do. And that was such a different experience for me because traveling when I was drinking, I mean, I'm sure you know you're hungover, you're sleeping till 12, you missed half the activities you want to do. Your focus is always on like, where's the bar? When's the next drink? And so this trip for me was so beautiful because I finally felt like I was able to nourish myself. I was actually on a yoga trip at the end of the half the trip. So I was on like a retreat with other women that were prioritizing their health and their wellness. And it just felt like such a beautiful shift for me because I had never experienced that before. I was like, oh, this is what traveling is like when my priority is not drinking and partying. I get to actually experience the culture and I get to meet and talk to the locals. And I get to wake up at seven in the morning and watch the sunrise and then do yoga. And I was like, wait a minute. This completely shifted my perspective on travel because before I thought that I was like this like traveling worldly person. And I realized that oftentimes, like, I was just like checking off the boxes like I did in my life, traveling and living on autopilot, drinking, partying, and never actually having the experience that I desired. And so this for me was just like a complete 180 of wow, I actually get to enjoy this. And I'm not in a rush. And if there's days where I want to just rest and sit on the beach or watch the mountains or whatever I want to do, I can do that and not have guilt of like, I need to fit all these things into this one trip because I was wasting the majority of my time sleeping the days away because that's how I can't, I mean, can't tell you how many times I slept a day away in a hotel. It's a beautiful sunny day, and I'm like complaining or hungover, like eating nasty Uber Eats in bed. Just awful.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah. There's one trip that I regret doing that, and that is my sister and I went to, and two of our friends went to New Orleans. This was years ago. And I was so hung over the next day, and they went to that famous cemetery I can't, and like did uh did stuff during the day. And that was like one day I always look back at and being like, God, I wish I was present for that because I really wanted to go to the go play in a cemetery, but go into that cemetery and and experience that. And I was so sick that day, it was disgusting. It was disgusting. If you are in like, don't even think about touching hurricanes and dirty martinis. It is awful.

Sophia Graniela:

It like makes sense thinking about it. And it's funny too, because in the beginning, people are always like, Oh, like sobriety is so boring. And I'm like, you know what's boring? Wasting the days away in bed, hungover, throwing up, being a shell of yourself. I'm like, that's boring.

Courtney Andersen:

Boring. Well, and that's the whole thing. It's like, it's the mindset, and that's what people have to get into. But once you see that and recognize that, you're like, uh wow, because it is. It's like you're wasting away days, and all we want in this life is more time, right? Like, that is the one thing, majority of one thing that people want is more time in a day and in the years, right? In their life. And when you are spending it hung over, missing out on life on your couch or wherever you may be, like it's it's not a way to live. And that is that that keeps you small and keeps you stuck. So, like to get out there and actually do some living, it's it's where it's at. It really is.

Sophia Graniela:

And it just like I said in the beginning, it opens up such a world of opportunity that you don't even realize. And of course, it comes with challenges, especially those first six months to a year. It is hard, right? Like, we're not gonna sugarcoat that. Right. But when you get past that point and you start to prioritize yourself and finally choose yourself, you're like, oh my gosh, I can literally do anything and create anything I want in this life.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, how would you how would somebody use EFT? How would somebody use tapping in their sober journey?

Sophia Graniela:

Absolutely. There's so many ways that you can use EFT. A couple of ways I'd recommend. Number one, in the very beginning, is just like getting past that FOMO, you can say, right? Like feeling like you're being left out, feeling like you're not included. You can tap around that. Oh, you can also tap for cravings, which can be really helpful. So if you are feeling like in your body, like I just I'm so stressed, I want to drink, I need this right now. You can tap and it can help you to release that energy, to take that anxiety down a couple notches and to get you back into your body. So it's a really good way to pattern interrupt when you're feeling that need for a drink. Other ways is just like building confidence without alcohol. Because for me, I always used alcohol as a way to have liquid courage. I was like, oh, I'm gonna take two shots before this date that I'm going on, or I'm gonna take uh two glasses of wine before I go to the social event so that I can talk more and feel more comfortable in my own skin. And so I use EFT tapping a lot to build embodied confidence so that I can just show up to places as the fullest version of myself and there's no more dimming or numbing. And so EFT tapping is beautiful because you can customize it to whatever it is that you're feeling. So you can tap around fear of judgment, fear of being misunderstood, which are really important in sobriety. Yeah. You can tap around anxiety or stress, right? Because for a lot of us, if we're going to a nine to five job or sitting at a desk all day, all I could think about was getting home and cracking open a bottle of wine, right? You like you can tap around stress and anxiety. You can literally take anything that you are feeling, pinpointed, and then do tapping around it. So it's a really beautiful and gentle modality that works wonders.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah, I love that. I didn't even think about that on what you can tap around, that there's all different types. Like how we were talking about before we hit recording, how I was sharing with you, like I think that there's three different really stages of this process. And it's the process of quitting drinking, living in sobriety, and then when you come to it, uh, and everybody ends up there on their own is that emotional sobriety process. So in those three, you could really tap to what you're going, what's going on with you during those three phases.

Sophia Graniela:

Absolutely. You can always tap along with anything that you're going through, especially in those three phases. And I love EFT so much because it's literally something you can pull out of your back pocket at any time. There's been times I've been in the back of an Uber and I'm stressed that I'm gonna be late and I tap, or at the airport or on the airplane, lots of people have anxiety. I tap there, right? So there's so many different ways that you can use it, which is why it's it's so powerful. Do you have anxiety about flying? I personally don't. However, when I first stopped drinking, because the airport was a place for me, and I would always sit at the bar and drink, I did start to feel anxiety. And so I would tap and it would help me a lot. But now not so much.

Courtney Andersen:

Yeah. Because once you go through it a couple of times and you get that self-trust and confidence in like, okay, this is what's gonna happen. Yep, it's fine. And for anybody, it's like you have to get through those first. Some people it just takes that first time, some others it takes a couple times, right? Like, I mean, the airport is a big trigger for anybody, anyways, because it is for traveling, it can be stressful. You have to prepare, being around a bunch of people, then being in a an airplane with that door closed. Yeah, it can be very claustrophobic. And and when you've been used to doing that hammered for so long, it's like it's gonna take you a couple times to start your new normal.

Sophia Graniela:

A hundred percent. Yeah. And once you get to that place and you have other ways of coping with stress, right? Like you have your book, you go on walks, you do your tapping, eventually it becomes something you're already resourced with. And so drinking is not necessarily something you want to reach for anymore. But like you said, that takes time. It's not something that's just gonna happen right when you decide to stop drinking.

Courtney Andersen:

Right, right, exactly. So, where can people find you? Because do you offer virtual sessions for your tapping? Yeah, okay. I do, yes.

Sophia Graniela:

I have 60-minute virtual sessions, I have a 90-day package, but I also have a podcast called Her Journey Home. So you can find that on Apple and Spotify. You can find me on Instagram and TikTok at Sophia with a pH, Graniella, my last name. I'm sure it'll be in the show notes. And I'm going to be hosting my first ever retreat this year in 2026. So it's going to be a really cool adventure, EFT tapping and movement retreat for women. So we'll be doing pilates, epic adventures. Of course, it's going to be a dry retreat, so no alcohol, and just building deeper sisterhood and building confidence and coming home to the most authentic version of you.

Courtney Andersen:

I love it. Where's the retreat?

Sophia Graniela:

In Guatemala, Lake at Tibon.

Courtney Andersen:

Fun, fun, fun. All right. All right. Well, I will put all of Sophia's information in the show notes below. Thank you so much for being on the show today and sharing your story with the good people of the world. Thank you so much.

Sophia Graniela:

This was so much fun, Courtney. All right, thank you. Take care.

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Courtney Andersen

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Kimberly Elledge

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