Tired of White Knuckling Sobriety Build a Plan That Beats Alcohol Cravings (Especially at 6PM)

If you feel like you’re doing great all day and then 6 PM hits and everything shifts, you’re not alone.

For many women trying to quit drinking, alcohol cravings spike after work when stress, fatigue, and routine collide.

In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I break down why white knuckling your way through sobriety doesn’t work long-term and how to build a sobriety plan that supports you when willpower runs out.

This episode is especially helpful if you’re navigating stress drinking and want practical tools to stop drinking without relying on motivation alone.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn

• why willpower isn’t enough to stop drinking long-term
 • how your daily “willpower curve” impacts alcohol cravings
 • why cravings hit hardest after work and in the evening
 • how stress drinking becomes a pattern over time
 • how to use simple “if/then” plans to prevent relapse
 • how to build a cravings toolkit that works in real life
 • how to create a sober living routine that actually supports you

Sobriety isn’t about being “stronger.”

It’s about being prepared.

When you build a plan around your real-life stress points, you reduce the need to rely on motivation.

And that’s what helps you.

Ready for Support? Here Are 3 Ways to Work With Me:
• Stop Starting Over Program
• Sobriety Circle
• 1:1 Sober Coaching 

Gain access to my Masterclass when you submit a review on iTunes. Email me sobervibes@gmail.com with a screenshot of the review, and I will send you the code to unlock my Masterclass for free!

Thank you for tuning in!

Thank you for listening! Help the show by Rating, Reviewing, and/or Subscribing to the Sober Vibes Podcast.

Connect w/ Courtney:
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Apply for 1:1 Coaching
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Transcript

Welcome And The Witching Hour

Courtney Andersen 0:31

Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vibes podcast. I am your host and sober coach Courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 271. And I hope wherever you are in the world, you are having a kick-ass day. So if you feel like you're doing good all day long, right? You're productive, you're focused, you're committed to your sobriety. And then the witching hour comes up, the four, five, six, seven o'clock p.m. hits, and suddenly all you think about is drinking. Then this episode is for you because today we're talking about why that happens and how to stop white knuckling your way through your sober journey. And before we get in today's episode, as always, if you are looking for more help on your sober journey and wanting to know about my coaching programs, I have three ways you can work for me. Of course, the first way is if you are the lone wolf and want to go at your own pace, you can join my new self-guided program, Stop Starting Over. It's a very good one. I've condensed my one-on-one coaching into this program. There's also to the sobriety circle if you're looking for community. And if you are wanting more high touch, high accountability, there is my one-on-one sober coaching. So the links are in the show notes below, or you can check them out at CourtneyRecovered.com. So let's get into this today. So the problem with white knuckling, okay. I want to define this. First, I'm gonna say this. You can get through your sobriety 90% white knuckling. Now I'm just gonna say that 10% of the time, there will be some white knuckling moments, okay? And that is just gonna happen. It will happen, but when you go through that, you learn through the process, and that is okay. I don't want you to be afraid of that. I just wanted to break that down because you're gonna be like, Courtney, I've heard you talk about white knuckling before. And it really is 10%. There are moments where you are just gonna have to be like, GD, I have to get through this moment. Okay. Let me define this again for you. White knuckling is when you are relying on willpower alone, right? Discipline, the just pushing through. This is like the and and during the day that can work. And for some people it does. Again, if you are specifically relying on this throughout your quitting drinking process and in those first couple of years of sobriety, it will not last. But sobriety isn't tested for many people at 10 a.m. Okay. It is tested when you are right for this, tired, stressed, overstimulated, and mentally done. For many women, it's about being tired, okay. And that is a huge trigger for them. And in those mil moments, willpower will run out. Okay. And it's not because that you are weak or that you're broken or any of that, it's because your brain and body are depleted. A lot this year, I've been talking about nervous system regulation and even previous to it and my coaching. I I talk a lot, but on the podcast lately, it's been a lot about nervous system regulation. Because at the end of it, in my experience with sobriety and of these 13 years, and then being able to coach women since 2019, this is the continuant, continuous thing that I see. And when usually when people, when you're not balancing that and regulating it, it you will continue to drink majority of the time. Okay. Your willpower curve, right? So what is your willpower curve? I want you to picture your willpower like a curve. In the morning, it's really high, right? Midday, it's still strong. And then end of workday, it stops dropping because usually of the thing that those being tired, being overstimulating, being overwhelmed, right? Because you just put in a day. That is why, too, I suggest for people in early sobriety, don't add anything extra onto your calendar. You're going through a detox. So you really do have to make time for yourself to just rest, all right? And not be doing the most. Because for a lot of people who work, then you have to go home and take care of your kids, right? And if you don't have kids, it's like you might have commitments outside of just working, right? And then usually the evening is the lowest point because at that point you are dead ass tired. And then you start getting into that witch it hour. So what happens right at the lowest point? That is when alcohol cravings start showing up. And specifically, to of you being in the cycle that you've been in, insert how many years you've been doing this for. Okay. So it always will get harder before it gets easier when it comes to the detox process. But that's why early on you have to start shifting your, you have to start replacing a new healthy habit with that old toxic one. Okay. So the alcohol cravings will show up. And that is when your brain says to you, like, I deserve this, just one or just two. It's been a long day or it's been a long week. This is not all random. This is it's predictable, and that's what you've been living in. And if anything predictable, it can be planned. So why pill willpower isn't the solution? This is where you need to shift it. Sobriety doesn't come from stronger willpower. It cut and people used to say that to me in the beginning where they're like, they used to tell me I had a lot of willpower. And it was like, no, I just don't, I don't want to live this way anymore. Like I that was not fun. That was not a good time. That was god awful some days, right? Like it was just like it, it, it doesn't, it doesn't come down to so much the willpower at some point, what people think it does. It's more of this is not how I want to show up in my life anymore. So you really also too when building your sober lifestyle, you have in quitting drinking alcohol, you have to have a stronger system. And in this system, I know there are going to be days where you're like, oh, like this is groundhogs day. And then you start feeling like you don't need to tap into that. But I'm telling you, when you start building those stronger systems and tap into it daily, I'm not saying do the most every day, but tap into the things that keep you sober, whether that's like accountability, right? Listening to a podcast, doing a walk, like at that witching hour or how you set up the day for yourself because everybody's different. But doing that kind of stuff keeps you sober. You have to keep continuing to do that. And for some people, it's gonna be for the rest of your life. Not only because you need it and crave it, but also too because that is becomes your new normal. So when stress hits, your brain is not looking for your long-term goals, right? It's looking for relief. So if alcohol is your fastest relief, and for all of us, that's what it became. That's when your brain will go, that's what your brain will go to, right? Unless you give it something else. And this is where you have to start creating something new for yourself, okay? So I want to share this with you because this one's really important. It's an if slash then. So these are plans for cravings, and this is a good one, okay? And specifically, I have this one in my bonus module for my stop starting over program that I'm very excited, but I wanted to share it here with you too, just because it really does help because it's all too about self-talk that you have to talk to yourself, especially in those hard moments. And this is practical advice that you can implement. So instead of hoping you'll be strong, we can create a plan, right? So if this happens, then I do this, right? So here's an example. If I feel the urge to drink after work, then I immediately change environments, right? So go for a walk, leave the house if that is safe for you. If I feel overwhelmed at 6 p.m., then I grab my non-alcoholic drink and sit down for 10 minutes. And again, that could you could just grab a water and sit down for 10 minutes. If I start bargaining just one, then I listen to a podcast or text someone or hop on a meeting, right? Or go to a move, a meeting. You're removing the decision making in that moment with the if slash then, because the moment is that moment is when people get stuck. And that is why, as well, it is very important to even when you go out to start practicing like what you're gonna say to people. That way you don't get tripped up. So this it and I know that you're there's gonna be some people out there as I am not a planned person. You're not in the current life that you are living. Okay, but that doesn't mean that you're going to be like that forever. Trust and believe when I tell you that like I was not a planned person, and I would I was like fly at the seat of my pants. And now I am, I'm not like extreme type A, but I like a plan. I like to write things down, I like to check the boxes. When I say I was a complete opposite 13 years ago, I was chaotic AF, okay? And so it was uncomfortable getting into that transition of being more organized with my thoughts and my actions and what I was gonna do and plan it out. It does become more comfortable, but you have to make room for it. You can't always tell yourself that this is how you are, this is what you know, you're never gonna change because then you're never gonna change if you keep telling yourself that. And even the person I am today, it's again a complete 180 from who I was 13 years ago. That is what I will say about that. So I understand if you're listening as I'm not that type, but it is surprising what removing one substance will do to you, where it opens up your mind, body, and soul, and you become quite a different person doing things you never thought you were gonna do or say or be because you weren't that person before. You have to trust the process in this. Trust me when I say that. So building your cravings toolkit, all right? Let's build this together. So think about this. This is your go-to list when cravings hit, right? Not one thing. You I want you to have a couple different multiple options, maybe two to three things, because different days need different tools, different parts, ladies, of your cycles, and different weeks of your cycles, you're gonna need different tools. I definitely when I start understanding my cycle and understanding that before your period happens, you your body actually needs you crave and you need more calories. I stop shaming myself of that, of like, why am I so hungry? It's which because you are in this cycle of your period and this is what your body needs. So stop shaming yourself and just go with the flow of it, or shaming myself for not working out when the first two days of my menstrual cycle hit. And you shouldn't even be working out during that time. You should just be if you're gonna do something, go for a walk and be very casual or do some light stretching. Again, different days require different types of tools. So your toolkit might include a go-to drink. That could be a sparkling water, a mocktail if you're into it, an NA beer, a tea, walking, right? Or movement, a podcast or an audio, or just music therapy, listening to some music, right? A quick meal or snack. Blood sugar matters. Please, please, please keep your blood sugar stable and it matters more than you think because once you go hangry, that's gonna increase your anxiety. And then you you're forgetting that you haven't eaten in eight hours, and then you're thinking, like, what's wrong with me? And then actually the blood sugar dropping will increase cravings as well. So you have to keep your blood sugar stable. I even recommend for people, I know, I know there's gonna be people, people are gonna challenge me on this, but if you are a faster, as in you might have just been eating one meal a day because you've been in a fasting cycle, I highly recommend you start eating breakfast. You can't see me right now, but like I am shit. Eat some breakfast to keep your blood sugar stable because that fasting might not actually be doing your body good. Everybody's body is different. But then after you get through the quitting drinking process and you're living consistent sobriety, then maybe bring that back into your world of fasting. Okay. So just know that blood sugar matters. So these are some tools that you can hit. Also to water, like crush, crush, crush water to keep yourself hydrated. Also, to what can help you as well is you know resetting your routines, figuring that out. Maybe something isn't really working for you and you're doing it in the morning time, but now you can take it into that witching hour time and evening just to give yourself something to do, right? So the goal is really simple. Also, I consider a lot of sleep to help with cravings as well, because your body needs time to heal. So make relief accessible without alcohol, okay? With the snacks too. Always carry some snacks in your purse. So, why does this change everything? When you stop relying on willpower alone and start relying on a system of your to support you better, sobriety gets easier. It truly does. Not the first week, okay? Not even within those 30 days, but after those 30 days, there will be a little bit of relief where it doesn't feel as heavy as it once did at day zero. Okay. So you do have to give it some time because you also have to create that new momentum for yourself with those new habits and rewire your brain and being like, this is now what I do to help me get past. I'm not gonna say that the cravings are gonna go away forever, but they definitely get, they get, they decrease. And then you'll be like, wow, I don't even have cravings anymore. I might have some cravings like once, twice a year. I will tell you what, it's finally, thank baby Lord Jesus, that it is springtime in Michigan. I guarantee you, when the summer hits, I will have a craving for a margarita. I it will happen because it happens to me, even at this. But it's almost more, it's that association to weather and the and the weather changing, but it's not like I'm sitting there like drooling, being like turning into some type of zombie, being like, I need the margarita. It's no, that's the thought that comes off and is oh, romanticizing. Then it's just no, I'm good, because I can still sit on a patio and be me and have a good time without that margarita, and I can do it with with a crisp Coca-Cola classic in my hand. All right. And also, too, with this, when you have these, when you have these systems in place, it gets easier because you stop negotiating negotiating with yourself all day, right? And you're not draining, you're not draining your energy and you're not feeling depleted because you have these systems in place and you feel supported. So it's not like you're hoping that you know you'll do better tonight when you have that witching hour you're already prepared for. And by doing this, what you're going to do is you're building consistency, and that consistency is going to start building that self-trust back in yourself and being like, I am a bad bitch. I I got this. But it is, you have to stay consistent with this and support yourself. And for a lot of women, you need the support longer than six months of doing this. And because after six months, I have I have seen where people they fall off because they think that they got it down like that and don't need to be doing the things that they need to do. And that's where you have to drop the ego and be like, okay, I had this substance in my life for 20, 30 years. It's gonna take me quite some time to fill fully feel like I got this without needing all of this stuff in my back pocket. You do not get what I'm saying. So I just want you to keep that in mind that even it will feel like Groundshog Day doing some of this stuff day in, day out, you're gonna be like, God, this is boring AF. But that boring AF will help you get through another day alcohol-free and keep building the life that you want and experience this lifetime without, and in this moment of your life, without alcohol. Because again, we are very blessed. We get to do live two lives in one. There was the life that we knew and our active relationship with alcohol. And then there is a life that we build and know without alcohol. And this one without alcohol, I will take 100 times over than the life that I had with alcohol and the person that I was. I don't regret it. I don't regret it because it got me to the place that I am today, and a lot of healing has gone on, but it's just a place I don't ever want to go back to because I've lived it and I know what that's like when I introduce alcohol into my system. That is why I don't even toy with the idea of just having one because it was never about one. All right, good people of the world, I hope this episode hit you right in the jugular today. And if it's something that you needed to listen to and you press play and you're like, F yes, I needed to hear this, then my job is done for today. Okay. As always, if you haven't yet, please rate review and subscribe to the show. If you leave a review on Apple, screenshot it, email it to me, and I will send you my workshop. Okay. All of that information is a show notes, resources, coaches, coaching programs. You can look in the show notes or again, go to courtingrecover.com. As always, good people, keep on trucking out there.