How to Quit Drinking and Stay Sober This Summer: A Simple Plan for Alcohol Cravings and Social Pressure

Summer can feel like one long drinking event, with patios, vacations, BBQs, concerts, and social pressure everywhere.

In this episode of the Sober Vibes Podcast, I break down how to quit drinking and stay sober during the summer months without isolating yourself or feeling like you’re missing out.

If summer always pulls you back into emotional drinking or the moderation cycle, this episode will help you build a simple sobriety plan that actually works in real life.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn

• Why summer can feel so triggering when you’re quitting drinking
 • how social pressure impacts alcohol cravings
 • Why “I’ll quit after summer” keeps people stuck
 • how to create a summer sobriety plan before cravings hit
 • what HALT means and how it helps manage cravings in real time
 • practical tools to stay sober during vacations, parties, and weekends
 • how to enjoy summer without relying on alcohol

You do not need to wait until fall to change your life.

You can stay sober this summer, one decision, one event, and one craving at a time.

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Transcript

Why Summer Is Prime For Sobriety

Courtney Andersen 0:31

Hey, welcome back to the Sober Vibes Podcast. I am your host and sober coach, Courtney Anderson. You are listening to episode 277. All right, good people of the world. This one I wanted to do before the summer season, beekends. I know I've done a bunch of episodes in the past about staying sober for the summer and how to get through it. But I really like making new ones because I know not everybody goes back to a hundred plus episodes ago. Okay. So it's good. If you need this as a reminder, if you are new here, thank you for pressing play and listening to me today. And just know that you are going to get through it. And I will die on this hill. Summer is the best time to get sober. It true and to quit drinking. And I say that because you can lean in if you are a person like Mo who lives in the states where you encounter hell for six months and your personality comes alive in the summertime. I really suggest using the summertime and the elements and the weather to help you get through these first couple months. Is it going to be all sunshines and rainbows and unicorns and scrunchies? Absolutely not. We hope for the sunshine. But what you're doing right now, okay, by getting sober alcohol free today is going to set you up for this winter time. And it's going to set you up for the holidays where you're going to already be three to four months, five months sober, and then you're going to hit Christmas and be like NBD. I mean, you'll still have some. Your first Christmas sober is always different, but at least you've had some time under your belt. And you don't need to go through a sober October. You don't need to get through January to be like, okay, let me do a dry January. You are already in it and living in it. Okay. So my hope, again, my intention, I really hope that this episode helps you today. So if summer makes you immediately think the patio seasons, vacations, barbecues, cookouts, beach days, concerts, concerts is a huge one. Lake weekends in Michigan. There's a lot of lakes around, clearly the Great Lake State, and then there's a lot of little lakes. I live by a bunch of lakes, and it is it's party time, and that's how it's always been, right? And then, of course, alcohol is everywhere as it is everywhere. And your brain is probably wondering too, how am I supposed to quit drinking during all of this? And this episode is definitely for you. Like I said, please lean into the elements of summertime. And I have to say, you really imagine being hungover in summer. Bleh. It being so hot and just hung over and nasty. Okay. So today we are going to talk about how to quit drinking and stay sober during the summer months, right? And this is without isolating yourself or white-knuckling your way through every social event or feeling like you're missing out entirely on life because you are not. And again, I think it's important to say right away, summer doesn't actually make sobriety harder, right? Again, summer helps you stay sober. I know that's crazy to say. But sober really or staying sober during the summer, quitting drinking during the summer, it really does expose

Routines Break And Triggers Rise

Courtney Andersen 4:05

routines and environments and emotional triggers. And you will soon find that out and to a lot of associations that you have with drinking around summer. So again, I hope this episode helps. If at all you need help on your sober journey and you want to dive deeper into coaching, I have three ways that you can work with me. I have my first, if you are, I like to say the lone wolf. I have my self-guided program, stop starting over. I have my sobriety circle. That's a women's only group. And that is if you are looking for more of a community. And also too, I have my one-on-one coaching. If you are more of a person who needs that quote, I say, dare I say, like hands-on, that more one-on-one personal connection. All of that information is in the show notes below. Check it out. Or you can go to my website, CourtneyRecovered.com, or reach out to me on Sobervives on Instagram, and we will find what help that would be best for you. Because my stuff is tailored to what works best for you, to be honest, because everybody's different. I am a one-on-one type of girly. I like that one-on-one, and I also like self-paced programs. Um, and I've always been that way. Okay, so let's get into it today. So, why does summer feel so triggering to so many people, right? I want you to understand that summer, especially too if you are a parent in particular, summer really does throw a wrench in the routines. Do you know what I did the other day? I have a calendar. I saw some mom do it on Instagram because I learned from last year with my son being in school for the year, and then we had summer. And also too last year was actually more, it was different for me because we were over at my dad's house on a weekly basis for his last year of his life. And so summer, dare I say, was not fun. And summer should be fun, right? Fun in a silver way. So this year I actually just had to do a calendar to I it was just the colling calendar, the dictator's calendar of just I did where I'm like, okay, this is what's going on in the community. This is the activities he's enrolled in. This is, I kind of did the little like summer activity stuff we could do just around the house. That way I'm looking at it and I'm not sitting there because I don't know if you guys are like this. Sometimes I get paralyzed with the actual what should we do today. So this is just easy for me to pick off the list. If you have not gotten it yet, get my 30-day sober, not boring calendar is free. And it just will give you activities to do each day just to fill up some time. And again, I'm huge on the decision fatigue of taking that out. Not saying what I have written down is all going to happen, but at least I have that option that day. And it's going to make my life a lot easier going in the summer. And of course, my intention is to have fun with them. So, anyways, going back to this. So if you have kids, it definitely disrupts summer disrupts routines. And if you don't, I think all of us generally look forward to summer because it feels like summer, but it's like the semi-vacation mode, right? So the later nights, right? Vacations, like I just said, the kids being at home is huge. So there's less structure. And sometimes less structure is not good for us. So structure really does protect sobriety more than people realize. I believe it was last week's episode I talked a lot about structure. And when you start getting into that structure and routine, it is this is like what I can expect each day, right? And it really does help with when you first quit drinking and getting yourself on a routine. And it just helps you of what to expect. So when the routines disappear, cravings for sure can increase, right? There's the emotional overwhelm increases. Again, going back to the calendar I made for myself with the dictator. Like I said, I can get stuck in a freeze response to be like, oh, there's so many things he could do, but what do we do? Right. So that overwhelm does increase. And then, of course, then too, it's easy for impulsive decisions to increase when you're in a state of that overwhelm. So summer also too increases social pressures. So come on, you can just have one. It's vacation, it's summer. You maybe some people are telling you you're no fun anymore. Or you can start, you're telling yourself again that you can start on Monday. In the way alcohol gets marketed to heavily during the summer

Social Pressure And Alcohol Marketing

Courtney Andersen 8:40

season. Heavily. Heavily, right? And I'm sure again, this earlier this year, I think it was this year, I did an episode of the ebbs and flow into the alcohol industry. And it really does pick up come February, Valentine's Day. And then it increases as the year goes on. But definitely summer, it's a different type of marketing to you, of more of the fun and the relaxation. And of course, you would be at a beach with a cocktail in your hand, right? So your brain gets flooded with all of this stuff, and your brain gets flooded with those ads, or people on social media sharing sitting by a pool with a cocktail or on vacation with the cocktail in their hand, right? So people, you think people everywhere are drinking. And that type of exposure increases cravings because now you're seeing it, right? And then the association too with summer is then going to as well increase cravings. It truly is. And it will increase in anxiety in you again going to patio season. I just worked with a one-on-one client last week, and we were talking about that of sitting outside where she would have drank outside reading a book on the patio and whatnot. And that's the thing. It's no, you can still sit out there and read that book, just something else is going to be in your class. That doesn't take away any fun. You can still do that. The only thing that you're taking out of the inclusion is alcohol. So there is still very much of an association of enjoying yourself and relaxing and breathing in the fresh air and reading your book and enjoying it. And then it's not just the focus because then you put the focus on it was all about the alcohol and catching that buzz because you're obviously catching that buzz for a totally different reason, other than that it's patio season, right? So going with that, just remember this exposure is going to increase cravings more or feeling like you're going to be missing out and you are not. So there is a summer sobriety trap, right? And it's also coming from you. And that a lot of people tell themselves, like, okay, you get into it. We get into June here, like, I'm just gonna whoop it up this summer and I'll quit after summer. Can I tell you that majority of people I know have quit in summertime? It's because everybody loses their goddamn minds. I'm not kidding. We're like my 14 years sober August 18th,

The Summer Traps That Keep You Stuck

Courtney Andersen 11:20

right? And it was at the end because you partied all summer, and then by August, like you're good and tired where you're like, I can't do this anymore. So I'm trying to save you from getting up to August or getting up to September and October of feeling that way. But it's all your time and your lesson to learn with alcohol. But a lot of people do say it's this trap that alcohol does get you in of same thing for the holidays. I'll just quit January 1st. And then come January 6th, you're drinking again, right? So that's what we have to get out of. But that is definitely what you're gonna want to tell yourself because you're gonna feel like you need quote unquote one last summer to do what? To do the same old that you've been doing for years and years. This is not gonna be any different. There is no one truly last goodbye with alcohol, right? Again, the summer then becomes okay, after my birthday, after the holidays, right? The New Year's, I'll quit then. It's the same thing. As stated, there's never a perfect time to quit drinking. Real sobriety will happen in real life, in real timing. Another trap that people get themselves into, of course, is the moderation, right? So you're gonna say to yourself, okay, only on the weekends, only when I go on vacation, only at concerts. This is when I'm going to drink. But moderation is going to keep your brain emotionally attached to alcohol. You're still feeding it in your system. You're still gonna be thinking about it, you're still gonna be managing it, you're still gonna be negotiating with it. And that it becomes very exhausting. And I'm sure there's a lot of you right now listening to this and shaking your head and being like, I am up and tired. I am exhausted, right? So, this is what I want you to do. I want you to come up with your sobriety sober plan. Okay, I'm sorry, your summer sobriety plan. So sobriety becomes way easier, honestly, when you plan ahead of time. And you have to decide on your non-negotiables. And a couple non-negotiables can be like not drinking at all. When you bring that up, I know it's very scary to think of, but just like I'm done. I'm done. Because that is what I have learned most with people, with myself and with the many humans I have coached since 2019. That once they make that decision to say, I'm done with it, and it's like I'm done with this, and then make it their duty to work around every day on how they're how they're gonna move through that without alcohol. Once they make that decision, it's a night and day difference. Right. Of course, there's other things that go on to that, but for the most part, it is okay, I'm done with this. And that not drinking at all, it takes the option off the table for you for the day, right? So just keep that in mind with that, even too, if you choose to leave an event early if you need to, because you can't handle staying past so many hours because everybody's drunk as a skunk and on planet Pluto, and you're like, this is no fun. And that's what happens during a certain time of the event of the party, people get shit-faced, and it is not enjoyable to be around that. You're like, it actually almost becomes uncomfortable to a point because you're like, dude, this guy's looking through my soul. He's looking through my soul. We're not on the same wavelength, and it can become uncomfortable. It's not being judgmental, it's just the fact of it where you're like, like some people when they get sober, they don't even want to be around people drinking. And I respect that. And then there's other people who don't mind at all, and then there's other people who are like,

Build Your Summer Sobriety Plan

Courtney Andersen 15:10

I'm like, okay, I've had my fun, it's time to go. So again, this can be part of your sobriety plan, okay? Leaving early, deciding that day, I'm not drinking today, and making that choice. We'll live in the day, we'll live in the now during the summertime. Okay. I'm not drinking today, I'm gonna leave the party early, right? And if you need to, you can bring your own NA beverages if you're worried about it being at a party where you're like, oh, they're not gonna have anything to drink. Those are all options for you. So also, too, you can decide before you go, right? Meaning what you're gonna drink, what you're gonna say, and your exit strategy. So, with that, it's okay. If people ask me why I'm not drinking, what am I gonna say? I can say to them tomorrow, I have an early morning. You don't have to give everybody your story. As I said before, nobody deserves all, not everybody deserves all of your story. Because some people just don't give shit. And your exit strategy is just don't you don't need to say goodbye to everybody at the party. Have an Irish exit, right? Goodbye. Don't say goodbye to anybody. Exit stage left, you're good to go, right? Because this is the thing, is once everybody is in an elevated state of alcohol, they just want you to stay. They're not seeing it from your lens. They're not seeing it from your lens. It doesn't mean that you're not fun, it's just you have a threshold. And that's why it's very important for you to understand, you at the core, what is my threshold here? 60-minute rule. Incorporate that. Stay for an hour. If you need more time, then be like, okay, I'm cool, I feel good. I'm gonna give myself 30 more minutes and evaluate where I'm at. But there is a point with people where they stay too long and then they end up drinking because they push themselves past the point of their comfort zone. It's true. And then it's like the anxiety happens and it's good riddance to you. Okay. And you also do want to build alcohol-free replacements again, mocktails, right? Fun summer drinks, whatever that would be, sober activities, morning plans you care about, right? Waking up in the morning, feeling refreshed. But we have to stop romanticizing drinking. What we want to focus on is the hangover, the anxiety, the bad sleep, right? Your depression the next day, the wasted days, the emotional exhaustion, the shame that you would you will carry on because that is not going to leave you. And that never does leave you. People who don't have issues with alcohol aren't thinking that the next day. They're not thinking, why the fuck did I just do this? They're not. It's like stone cold, but they don't have an issue with alcohol, excuse me. They don't have an issue with alcohol, so they're not thinking about this. These thoughts don't play out in their head. How many times have you woken up at 3 a.m. with just anxiety rushing over you? Or not the next day being able to go chase the rug rats around in 90 degree heat with a hangover. That sounds awful. Not a judgment, that's just the sounds of it. The more and more as I get here at for almost 14 years, it's honestly when I talk to people about hangovers, it's truly that. I could not handle this stage of my life being hungover with that little dictator. I can't I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. So just again, take that all into consideration of planning

Scripts, NA Drinks, And Exit Plans

Courtney Andersen 18:55

your sobriety summer plan, okay? And how are you gonna manage these alcohol cravings in real time during the summer, right? Because this is gonna be a little bit different because of your association with summer. But just remember that cravings are usually anywhere from seven to 20 minutes, right? And they peak and they fade quickly. They're not gonna be stuck there forever. So you've got to try the Holt method. And the Holt stands for again, hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. So you have to recognize of like, why are these cravings up? Is it because I'm hungry? Sometimes, too, it's like you need to drink some more water. You could be thirsty. Being dehydrated in these hot summer days will actually increase anxiety. And that anxiety too will increase cravings because you want to feel normal. And then you're like, why am I why am I feeling this way? And then you think that there's something wrong with you. And it's there's not. You just need to drink a little bit more water. I'm serious. Look into how many statistically, how many people are dehydrated and what dehydration actually causes in your body. So before drinking, I want you to ask yourself, am I actually craving alcohol or am I one of these four things? Include the thirst too. Okay. Just ask yourself that. Your body's craving something that it needs. So if you're hungry, eat something. If you're angry, vent and go for a power walk. If you're lonely, text or call somebody or hit up a meeting. If you're tired, rest and shower and go to bed early. This helps you respond to the real need underneath the cravings. Okay. And other craving tools you can use is changing your environments quickly. Um cold water, if you want cold water to put it on your splash your face or under your breast, putting cold water under your breast. Maybe you need to do a cold punch in the shower, something. Drinking a mocktail or sparkling water, going outside will help you. Distracting yourself for about 15 minutes, putting on a podcast, listening to music. If to distracting yourself in that, you really can do into going to more of like adult coloring books, whatever. The hand paper, if you want a journal to distract your thoughts, maybe putting doing a puzzle, something, something, because that in the beginning really does help. And also, I want you to meet yourself at with where what season of life you are in, because I had this, I had this too with a one-on-one client the other day of moving through. You have to move through anger and sadness in different ways. Sometimes you can't move through them in the same ways. And I eventually do want to do an episode of grief and sobriety, as I've been going through an extreme amount of grief in the last I don't know, five, six months. And that has something that has come up for me that I have not experienced. And it's anger, pure anger. It's not funny, but you Guys know that I move in humor to cope with it, but linger. I hope to get that episode out to you in June. I truly do because I'm very much of an open book. I just haven't wanted to do this episode yet because I want to make sure that I'm not sitting there raging and crying all in the same type of episode. Could you imagine if you press play and I was like, holy shit, Courtney. Anyways, so I do want to talk about that and I will. I just have to do it when the time is right. Oh man, I'll

Real Time Craving Tools That Work

Courtney Andersen 22:35

definitely do it when I'm in a good state of my menstrual cycle. So how are you gonna stay sober without your without missing your summer? And this is really, really this is key. Okay. So sobriety does not mean that summer is over. It is actually quite the opposite. And early sobriety can feel awkward. It's gonna feel awkward for anyone, no matter what time of year that is. So it's it's normal. But eventually in time, sober mornings do feel better. Your confidence is going to increase and your anxiety will decrease in time, and you become a lot more present, okay? Which is all great for the summer. And summer actually becomes more peaceful instead of recovering from drinking from the night before, right? So you're not losing your summer. I want you to focus on what you're gaining and what you're getting back and what you're actually by getting sober this summer, you then again can take into the fall in the winter, and then eventually into 2027 and throughout. And if you've been here a while and you've been listening to this podcast, I'm gonna say this on kind of the our closing note. I don't want, if you were like, I listened to an episode like this similar back last year. I don't want you to go through another summer going back and forth with alcohol when you did that last summer and you were listening to me last summer. I want you to go through the summer an alcohol-free summer and come out come September 1st to be like, man, I'm really glad that I got those 90 days in. And I'm gonna keep going. And I'm gonna keep going, and then I'm gonna get this second part of it, right? Because you will think yourself, come September 1st after Labor Day, and you will be very grateful you did it when you did it. You did it when you did it, and you didn't waste another summer beating yourself up because I know everybody's different with their seasons, but this but summer is the most glorious of them all. Fall is an exceptional, but summer truly is the most glorious of them all. And I don't want you to be in it for another summer of being like, why am I still here? So again, you got this. Build up that sobriety plan for yourself. Maybe take it of build yourself a calendar of what it what June, July, August is gonna look like. Maybe it is that you now then join something of if you do AA or you do sobriety, if you come and join the Silver Circle, there's meetings in there. Another group that you join with meetings, and you write that down on your sober summer calendar and write down stuff that's going on locally around you, where then you can be like, all right, I'm gonna check this out, where you build these systems up for yourself and then you can stay on structure according to your life and what fits best for it. Again, or with your kids' schedule. I know, but you have to carve out the time for yourself and then having that out there to see on a calendar, like, okay, I can do this in a moment when I'm like having that itch, that witching hour, right? I can do this. Maybe it is too that you sit out a little bit this summer on some of these social events, and that's okay. That is okay because I'm going to tell you one thing that I

Stop Romanticising Drinking And Wrap Up

Courtney Andersen 25:55

know for sure is that the same social barbecue parties you have been attending for the last 15 years, where Bob gets the fucking drunkest, and then his wife is disgusted by the end of the night, or people end up in the pool, or such and such is a dipshit by the fireworks. That is going to look exactly the same. It's gonna look exactly the same. Nothing's gonna change from that party. You're not missing out. You are not missing out, you are gaining so much more by taking this in consideration for this summer and making that promise to yourself on a daily basis. Start at today that you are going to have an alcohol-free summer, and this is how you're gonna do it. And build that plan based off of your core of who you are and stop finding that part of you. All right, good people of the world. I am gonna have a part two next week. So stay as home for part two with this episode. And part two is going to be geared more towards people who are already sober and need the help if they're feeling a little bit shaky. Okay. All right. So again, check out the links in my show notes below. That 30-day sober, not boring calendar is in there as well. Okay. And two, if you haven't already, please check out my book, Sober Vibe Sober Vives, a guide to thriving in your first 90 days, first three months without alcohol. All right, good people of the world. Have a kick-ass summer, and as always, keep on trucking.