In this episode, I had the pleasure of interviewing Donna Tashjian. She shared her personal struggle with grief and loss, and how she came to the point where she regards herself as thriving.
Biography
Donna is the founder of Vibrant Living International a non-profit organization. She is also a Life Mastery Coach, an ordained minister, podcaster, and author. She helps bring accelerated transformation to people across the world. Her passion is to help you reach your full potential. She specializes in helping you turn your baggage into luggage so you can live the life of your dreams using and developing your spiritual intelligence. Donna has been speaking and coaching for over 25 years. She also produces a podcast is called “You Were Designed for Greatness” and has written 4 books.
Key Take-Aways
By the end of the episode, you will have three keys to turn their baggage into luggage and create a joy-filled life.
Contact Information:
FaceBook
https://www.facebook.com/drtashjian/
Twitter
https://twitter.com/DonnaTashjian
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/donnatashjian/
Website
https://www.linkedin.com/in/donnatashjian/
In this episode, I had the pleasure of interviewing Donna Tashjian. She shared her personal struggle with grief and loss, and how she came to the point where she regards herself as thriving.
Biography
Donna is the founder of Vibrant Living International a non-profit organization. She is also a Life Mastery Coach, an ordained minister, podcaster, and author. She helps bring accelerated transformation to people across the world. Her passion is to help you reach your full potential. She specializes in helping you turn your baggage into luggage so you can live the life of your dreams using and developing your spiritual intelligence. Donna has been speaking and coaching for over 25 years. She also produces a podcast is called “You Were Designed for Greatness” and has written 4 books.
Key Take-Aways
By the end of the episode, you will have three keys to turn their baggage into luggage and create a joy-filled life.
Contact Information:
FaceBook
https://www.facebook.com/drtashjian/
Twitter
https://twitter.com/DonnaTashjian
LinkedIn
https://www.linkedin.com/in/donnatashjian/
Website
https://www.linkedin.com/in/donnatashjian/
Turning Your Baggage Into Luggage With Donna Tashjian
28:25
SUMMARY KEYWORDS
luggage, baggage, life, women, coach, vibrant, tea, absolutely, hide, gift, living, years, people, helping, moment, donna, talk, kinds, listeners, story
SPEAKERS
Donna Tashjian, Dr. Tomi Mitchell
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 00:08
Everyone, this is your host Dr. Tomi Mitchell from the Mental Health and Wellness show today I have the pleasure of introducing Donna Tashjian. She is the founder of vibrant living International, a nonprofit organization. She is also a Life Mastery coach, an ordained minister, a podcaster, and author she helps bring accelerated transformation to people across the world. Her passion is to help you reach your full potential. She specializes in helping you turn your baggage into luggage so you can live the life of your dreams using and developing your spiritual intelligence. Donna has been speaking and coaching for over 25 years. She also produces a podcast which is called you are designed for greatness and has written four books with no further ado, Donna, welcome to the show.
Donna Tashjian 01:02
Thank you, Dr. Tomi , it is a pleasure to be with you today.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:05
Thank you. I love your bio. You know, like your coach, and you've been at this for 25 plus years. Yes. So obviously you're passionate about it. Yeah, obviously you're good at it. Because let's face it, that's a long time to be in any business.
Donna Tashjian 01:21
Yes. So I am I am very passionate about it. Yeah.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:25
Is there anything you want to show the listeners about you as a person before we get rolling?
Donna Tashjian 01:30
Well, my favorite thing that I am is a wife, a mom and a grandmother. So we my husband and I in November of last year celebrated 38 years. So that to me is Congrats 30 Isn't marriage and eight grandchildren. So that's a joy. I'm a tea drinker and I like jazz and reading so that's a little bit more personal,
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 01:55
you know, kind of tea tea love.
Donna Tashjian 01:56
I like a lot of different teas. My favorite is a really good black tea of different kinds, but I drink a lot of different teas. I've signed up for this where I get a surprised box every month and I get to try different teas and well, I've been sick but after I get all my taste back, I'll get back to enjoy him more.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 02:17
I am amazing what we miss out when we can't taste but yes, like you I love tea. I think that I grew up partially in the UK and then the product proper British has tea time, right? Yes. So we even as a kid you have tea. So that was part of the culture and then also exploring all these flavors from all over the world. And yes, like you I have a lot of teabags. And some of them are just like beliefs like that. I don't even
Donna Tashjian 02:44
Yes, I have a lot of leaves. People like
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 02:47
what is that? It is not what you think it is just okay. We don't roll that way.
Donna Tashjian 02:54
No, we don't roll that way here. Yeah, every once in a while I have to clean it out because it's been in there too long. And I know it's just, it's just like, but it's something I love. So I keep doing it. So yes,
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 03:06
yes. She's amazing. Awesome. Anything else? You have nine grandchildren? What are the age ranges?
Donna Tashjian 03:12
My oldest is 20. Okay, and my youngest is two
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 03:17
Oh, little toddler. Yes, absolutely. Good bite the two youngest, our grandsons, and all well, at one of the older ones is the grandson two, but the two youngest are grandsons and they're together. So they're quite a pair. We had a whole slew of girls and then two boys right at the end. So well. That's great that you bought a mix? Yes. Yeah, that's really good. There's something each gender brings their own
Donna Tashjian 03:44
unique know their view. It's beautiful. It is amazing. Yes,
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 03:48
definitely. Awesome. So I noticed your focus is women,
Donna Tashjian 03:53
right? Yes. My focus is primarily on women. Yeah.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 03:56
So how did you get started helping women? You know, I love the expression turning your baggage into luggage?
Donna Tashjian 04:04
Yeah, it's one of my favorite. I heard it said that you never become a coach or a counselor unless you've been through stuff yourself. True that I have been through some absolutely. And it is real. I have not yet met a coach or counselor that hasn't had her own story or his own story. And so that's basically where my understanding would be probably a good word of understanding and relating is because when I talked to women that are in the area that I focus on, and I say you feel this, this and this and they're like, how do you know that and I'm like, I'm a path. Exactly. So but as I was going through all of that I was even as a younger married person, because I got married young and I was a mother, Young. There were always women that would be coming to me and go I can't believe I'm telling you this. And I was that girl that everybody was coming in telling things to and, and I was helping them through their problems when I was still in the middle of mine kind of thing. And so as I raised my children, which was my primary focus, I had nonprofit organizations were and worked and volunteered, I've developed my own as well as worked and other ones that I helped where I did this kind of thing. And so it's been a part of my life for as long as I can remember where this was where I was doing this. About 10 years ago, I had a life situation change, I lost a job that I thought was going to be my dream job, and you know, all of that. And so as I'm leaving the place with tears running down my face, I'm like, so what am I going to do now? And out of that horrible day, because I was really, really hit me hard. And then I'm mad at myself that it's hitting me so hard. Do you understand that? Ah, but vibrant living was born out of that. So out of that situation, it's like, okay, what do I really, really want to do if I really focused on what I want to do? And that's how I ended up where I am today.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 06:11
Yeah, I you know, sometimes life has to universe God has to slow you down and make what you thought was it like, not anymore. And that forces you to stop because like you said, You got married young, which is, you know, marriage is no joke. It's a lot of work. And then you have kids young, so you are busy attending to everyone else. I'm pretty sure for first 1820 years. salutely Right.
Donna Tashjian 06:33
Well, what I didn't say as I said, I became a mother young. I actually was a mother. First I became a mother I would I became pregnant at 14. My daughter was born 15. So I've been a mom for a very long time. Yeah, it it wasn't a consensual situation. And so there was trauma and blame and yeah, all of that involved. But I raised my little girl on my own finished high school, all of the things like that. And if I have yet found the adjectives to describe how hard those years were, there just aren't.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 07:05
Yeah, yeah. It's, I don't know. Insane. It's crazy. It's overwhelming. But you're remarkable. Thank you. You really are really? And then how many years later? Did you have more children?
Donna Tashjian 07:18
Andrea was my oldest daughter was seven when my next child was born. Okay, my, my husband after we were married, adopted her. So okay. And then we got married in November, and my son was born the following December. So we time.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 07:38
That's awesome. That's my See, y'all. You change your mind. Right.
Donna Tashjian 07:47
So I was done having kids. I think my third child was she was born. I was in my late 20s. So so I'm a Yeah, I was a young grandmother. I was a young mother. You know, if you think about it today, I'm in my 50s and my oldest daughter is in her 40s Because Oh, I was 15 so it gets a little weird. You know, it's kind of we could be sisters.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 08:13
100% Because there are a lot of kids out there whose parents have no relationship state down the road or things. And so anyway,
Donna Tashjian 08:23
but that's part of my story. And she's amazing. Yeah. And so all my kids are amazing, but it's part of my story, but there was a I mean, anyone who's been that through anything like that understands the shame and embarrassment oh my god, blame the self. feeling unworthy. Yes. All of those kinds of things were associated so when I help women turn their baggage into luggage, I've had mine I had my
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 08:49
shower family had yours Why yes. I you know I've used that phrase baggage into luggage is you know, baggage. I think if it's something you're carrying versus luggage you put it on wheels and then you can mark it and when you need to go to it you can go to it but it can stay right there.
Donna Tashjian 09:07
Yeah, that's one way to look at it too. Yeah, I was talking with someone earlier today and baggage has when I think of baggage she was saying that in some different bags you have all these hidden compartments
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 09:20
Oh yeah. Like all this money oh this
Donna Tashjian 09:24
and and how we hide stuff away because come on women are resilient. Yes, we keep going when we don't know where we got the strength to go. We do and so we have all these places that we've hidden this stuff and go I'm okay I'm successful. I'm I'm all right, but but it doesn't go away just because you hit it.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 09:45
Definitely, you can hide it under the rug, like I say, but you can still trip on it. You put enough stuff in there you will eventually trip for somebody who very well. Yeah. So obviously as a woman, your passion is to helping women. Right? That makes sense. So um, As far as the biggest impact on this journey, what has it been for
Donna Tashjian 10:03
you? What are you meaning?
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 10:04
Like, what really got you going? Like I know you mentioned your job 10 years ago, was it 10 years ago that your dream job as you put it? Yes. And it was that the big, what really pushed you there? Would you say to this journey? Or is it kind of brewing before that?
Donna Tashjian 10:20
Well, it was brewing before that where I was, but it wasn't as focused would be the best way to say it was something that I've always done, but it wasn't focused, where it's my primary thing that I'm doing. And the catalyst was losing the job that made me to really do some soul searching of, I call it the worst day and the best day. Well, you know, it was one of those kind of moments where it was such a pivotal moment of I really just like that word now, but it gets the point across.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 10:54
Yeah, I you know what, many women especially now with this pandemic, are having that moment, don't feel it. But having that moment, you're talking about this great resignation, and just really reflecting on what they're doing. And does this really serve them? Is it to bringing happiness or sucking it dry? And to go to my next question, you titled your business vibrant, living International? So tell me about that. What do you mean by vibrant living? Because not everyone perhaps has the same view? Yes. Well,
Donna Tashjian 11:23
I was looking for a name and what I wanted to call this and learning what vibrant really means. So I looked up the word vibrant, vibrant, and it means sunny and vivacious and full of life, and breezy and colorful and energetic. And that is all the things that I wanted to bring to, if you will, to the young person, if you're going to talk about me to that young girl who says nobody will love me, my life is over. I'm hopeless, all of those kinds of things and bring that vibrancy, because that's who the vibrant part was, what she was created to be the vibrant part of her was what she was really God designed her to be and how to bring that capacity to people so that they could actually live vibrantly,
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 12:18
definitely bright, gracious, just pull up energy, and international. Are you talking all over the world or your clients everywhere?
Donna Tashjian 12:28
Well, when I named it, it was just starting. So it wasn't International. But that was my vision is I didn't want limits. I wanted to be able to reach women wherever it went. So I do have clients in the UK. And I especially through my podcast, I meet women all over the world. I was talking to a woman who was originally French this morning, who lives in the UK right now she had visited France recently, which was not easy with today's today's travel arrangements. Yeah, so learning that was just my vision was international.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 13:04
I love it. Same here. You know what, for the listeners, you can be anywhere in this world pretty much as long as you have internet connection on the phone, you can get the help you need, you can get the support.
Donna Tashjian 13:15
Well thinking about it that this happened on, you know, almost 10 years ago. Yeah, we weren't doing this.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 13:21
No, this
Donna Tashjian 13:22
is and this was this zoom thing. And the video chatting of all the different platforms wasn't a thing. So I had no idea how I was going to do this and didn't even at that point, it was in person or a phone call coaching. There was no video coaching. And that's an All of that's the norm but I had no clue when it started. So it's not knowing how it's just what's the passion in your heart? What's the dream in your heart and allow it without knowing how
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 13:55
I agree I have this saying you know when you build it, they will come right to you spread open your nana, you know that this is the vision so don't limit yourself and even just the title of our businesses really makes is powerful. Yes. Takes a lot of thought before you come up with a name. So that is amazing. Now, we also talked about, you know, this expression baggage into luggage. Can you kind of explain more of how you see that? And then we talked a little bit about that whole baggage
Donna Tashjian 14:22
thinking, if you will use my story, for example is is this is not fair. Yeah, this is not all right. This is actually wrong. Somebody really should pay the feelings of vengeance and abuse and regret and bitterness and anger. All of those things are part of even when I lost my job. I went through some of that, you know, and so it doesn't matter whether the loss is big or what somebody might else might call big. It's how it affects us. And so all of those emotions if one of the biggest things is why the why word does rarely get answered of why this happened. And when I stay in those emotions of why vengeance, anger, blame, regret, all of those kinds of things. That's baggage. That's what I mean by baggage. Yeah. And we hide it away. We go on with our life, we pretend like we're all right. But it could affect our sleep, it affects our moods, our relationships, it just doesn't go away. And so those kinds of things, stay with us. Luggage, on the other hand, is coming from the perspective I call it building my understanding superpower. And what I mean by that is understanding that no matter what happens to me, I can use it to grow and become it's what I call searching for the gift in the moment, or another way I word it is gifts wrapped in sandpaper, they rub us the wrong way. They are not pretty bold, you know, they're not wrapped all pretty with a bow and all this thing that you're like, I don't want this gift. I'm not unwrapping. But there's a gift in every, every adversity when we search for it. One of the biggest things that happen just by taking the perspective as I'm searching for the gift is my eyes, get off my feet, if you will. And I look up and begin to change my perspective, because the gift may have been there all along. Yes, but I didn't see it. Because of the way my perspective was. When I began to search for kindness. You find it? Yeah. If you begin to search for rudeness, you'll find it. Yes. And so it's looking for the gift. So it's using situations that arise. I can't change it. It's a part of me. But I'm going to use it to become the best me I can be. And in the process help others do the same.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 16:55
Wow. So if you had to tell somebody, okay, you know, a woman is in front of you, and they share their story and it you know, they have their traumas, how would you help them turn their baggage into luggage and still have this joyous, vibrant filled life? Well, it's a
Donna Tashjian 17:11
process is the first the first thing I'll add, I have a free workshop called Turning your baggage into luggage, where I give people some basic keys that they can begin to use to move forward. Okay, and from there, I have turned my baggage into luggage group programs and one on one coaching. And so those are programs that help people to walk through the different steps of this transformational program that I designed to be able to move forward. So I call it turning your baggage into luggage so you can then create the life you always want. And that's the picture of you talking about you're rolling your luggage through the airport and I'm going to wherever your dream destination is, is that I have process this now I've got this bag full of tools and gifts, that this luggage that's ready for me to go into creating the life I would love. I have to start with repackaging the pain and some of those moments are painful, but is also liberating.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 18:15
I love that I've never heard about term like put it that way repackaging the pain, yes. What would what's the next step? Would you say? Well,
Donna Tashjian 18:22
there's four steps for building your understanding superpower. And I have steps for everything. It's part. I do. And the first one is to search for the gift, and then having compassion for others. That involves forgiveness, which is a huge part of the program. Yeah, and that takes a lot of time and I don't address that right away because there's a lot of anger Yes, and all that kind of stuff. But we have to get to forgiveness or the only mistaken identity that I am going to hold under forgiveness someone else is like wanting them drinking poison myself. I'll try to keep this out right drinking poison myself and hoping they die. Yeah, that's what unforgiveness true is an example of is that I hope they die but I'm the one that's drinking the poison and so when we begin to realize it's only hurting me it's not really hurting them or whatever it was, if it's about them and learning how to have compassion for others the third step for this is surrounding yourself getting support I can tell you all the steps but if you don't have somebody to walk alongside you that's helped that's done this before it's a lot harder. Yes, it's possible. Yeah, but it is a lot harder one of the next steps as I called building my faith in myself superpower faith in myself as reflected by myself talk by my thoughts and what are those look like? We have to be as we begin this journey, be really honest with where we are, these are my is the way I actually blame it where I am on my own map. And I explain it. And I can tell you a short story that explains what I mean by where you are on the map is this was pre GPS days, but a man was traveling to Chicago on a really important sales business trip. And his flight was running late. And he his connections was late. And he was afraid he was going to be late to his meeting. So he rushes up to the rental car counter, and gets his rental car starts to leave. And he turns around and goes, oh, I need a map, he grabs a map off the counter rushes out to his rental car and is driving all around Chicago, and he cannot find this place. And so he's very frustrated, he pulls over, he opens up the map all the way. And it's a map of Detroit. And that's the way we feel. Sometimes I don't I don't know where I am. And I can't get to where I want to go. And so the first step really out of doing all of this is being really honest with yourself. I'm angry, hurt and bitter. I don't know if I like myself, all of those things of where you are on your map, because we can't get to the destination you want if you don't know your starting place. So that is what surrounded by your self talk because it reflects how you really feel it reflects the hidden beliefs that we really I mean, when you trip you go you clots. Yeah, you know, if you make a mistake, you go, why are you so stupid? What do you say in those kind of moments? What have you noticed? Do you think ugly thoughts? When you look at yourself in a mirror? What do you what, how, where are you and learning how to be really honest, when we're used to hiding it? Yeah. Isn't? isn't always easy in the beginning. So learning. That's number two is where am I? Where do I want to go and, and paying attention to your self talk and then changing that with declarations affirmation so that you can begin to change your subconscious to believe new things.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 22:12
Definitely. I'm big into self talk and being mindful. And these declaration affirmations Yeah, speaking, maybe what isn't in your reality, as you can see in existence
Donna Tashjian 22:24
into existence? Absolutely. Definitely. That's the power of
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 22:27
the tongue is so it's underrecognized.
Donna Tashjian 22:31
We do not need to continue to speak what I see. Yeah. I need to speak what I want.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 22:40
Exactly. You know, people often ask, you know how you're doing. And I hope that lately, as in the past year or so, I've been saying I'm living the dream, and I laugh and they, you know, they may think, Okay, what do you mean, but I mean, I'm living the dream, as in, I know, my goal. It might not be my reality right now, but I'm living it. Okay. That's how I get through this crazy little thing called life and especially the past two years.
Donna Tashjian 23:05
Yes. The past two years have been, we could have never imagined it in our wildest dreams. No, I didn't imagine this one. Nope. We did not know. And I didn't even speak it. Yeah, it just kept being around me. And I keep speaking different. No, but learning to change. You know, just saying, I'm okay. Or I'm doing amazing today. It doesn't, it just makes a big difference. If you continue to say I'm doing amazing today, you'll be doing amazing today. Yeah, it shifts our energy, it shifts our emotions, I call it whatever you focus on, you magnify whatever you focus on. It gets bigger and is amplified in our life. So if I'm focusing on how much you irritate me, I'm going to get bigger. And if I focus on what you do, that I enjoy and love about you, then that's going to be amplified and whatever I dominates. Yes. So if I'm focusing on layout, allowing someone to dominate my life or tolerate them, treating me and saying mean things that begins to dominate. So it's all of those kind of things that we begin to give attention to through this group so that we can really figure out where I am and begin to move forward.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 24:23
Yes. And when you move forward and you speak into existence, what may not exactly be physically there, the whole process of transformation curse.
Donna Tashjian 24:33
Yes, it does. Absolutely
24:35
love it. Wow. And you know, one thing about transformation, it's through and through. It's thorough, it's not just like a band-aid. It deals with, you know, multiple areas of your life. It's basically the whole thing your whole life changes.
Donna Tashjian 24:47
Yes, it does a transformation start small and spreads to everything.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 24:52
Definitely. So for our listeners listening, how can they reach you because there are a lot of broken individuals out there. knows women, there are many broken women. Yes, I may reach you
Donna Tashjian 25:04
the easiest way is my website, I have on the on the homepage, I have a free a free book that people can grab. And so that is on the homepage. And there is also a tab that says schedule online and they can schedule a complimentary consultation with me basically get to know me better and me to get to know you and see what resources that I have. And if we're not a good fit to find the right fit for you, so that you can begin to move forward to the life you actually love.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 25:34
And what is your website address just for those who are listening, but I will have it in the show notes.
Donna Tashjian 25:37
It is the letter i vibrant living.com
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 25:41
Awesome. Well, Donna, your story is amazing. You have come gone through I would like to say Helen back like you just did. That would be true. Yeah, you really did. And you're here living, thriving, smiling, still surrounded by family, and you're pushing forward and bringing hope and healing to others. Because you were able to take yourself out of that, you know, situation which again was hell is was hell is wrong. Like I can only imagine how tough it would have been at such a young age and especially the time in which you were growing up. Absolutely. Society has changed a lot in the past 20 3040 years.
Donna Tashjian 26:21
Mm hmm. Like, yeah, it wasn't okay to be a teenager and be pregnant. Oh, no,
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 26:24
it was not okay. It was like scarlet letter. You
Donna Tashjian 26:27
were who you are. Absolutely. You were. Yep. It was
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 26:31
a shame. But it was your fault when it was not correct. Exactly. Yeah. So you have an amazing story. And because you've gone through so much, it makes it a lot easier to approach you because rows are approaching you know that okay? Your life was by no means perfect. No, when you show that humility, that vulnerability, it just makes it easier to approach you. Mm hmm. And I want to say thank you for sharing that vulnerability.
Donna Tashjian 26:58
My pleasure. Yeah, it wasn't always easy, but I know when you're going
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 27:02
through it, that's not when you're sharing it. You know, like, Guess what, I'm 50 I just had a baby you want? Like, no, you're like, I'm in high school. Don't ask me like, me alone. Bless my sister. Like, leave me alone. Like, yeah, you already
Donna Tashjian 27:16
think about it. I was 16 with an 18 month a year old 18 months. And then when I was 18, she was three. So yeah.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 27:25
Those two very challenging years on their own. Like yeah, I know.
Donna Tashjian 27:33
So yeah, just to give you a perspective, it's like Okay, remember you when you were 18 minimi What do you either having the maturity Yes, I have been called one of the most intuitive and compassionate women on the planet.
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 27:52
I don't doubt it. I don't doubt it. Yeah.
Donna Tashjian 27:56
So I would love to talk to you. If you're listening and you feel like you need some support. Don't keep hiding your baggage. Let's be the best you you can be
Dr. Tomi Mitchell 28:04
love it. Well. Thank you Donna and thank you listeners for sharing the airwaves with us. This is Dr. Mitchell on the mental health show. I look forward to chatting with you again. Bye bye for now.