Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

278. Why You Still Text Back: Healing the Trauma Bond After Divorce

Subscriber Episode • • My Coach Dawn • Season 4 • Episode 278

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You could be a therapist, a coach, or the friend who swears she knows better—and still fall for an avoidant man’s games after divorce.

In this Dear Divorce Diary Premium episode, Dawn, Joy, and Tiffini get brutally honest (and hilariously real) about the ridiculous ways smart women stay hooked—the late-night texts, the lies we half-believed, the crumbs we treated like connection.

Then they flip the script with five raw, transformative questions that help you break the trauma bond for good and reclaim your nervous system.

This conversation blends cringe, comedy, and clarity—and by the end, you’ll never look at that buzz of his name lighting up your phone the same way again.

In this episode:
• Why even strong, self-aware women ignore red flags after divorce (hint: it’s not stupidity—it’s nervous-system survival)
• How avoidant partners keep you emotionally addicted and how to spot the pattern in real time
• A simple somatic tool (ankle rolls + humming) to calm your body when you’re tempted to text back
• Five journal-ready questions that change everything about how you respond to those “Hey stranger” messages

Listen for:

  •  The Confession: Real stories that make you say, “Oh my God, me too.”
  •  The Reveal: Why your body mistakes anxiety for attraction—and how to break that cycle.
  •  The Breakthrough: What it takes to stop letting him control your nervous system.

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👉 Join now—where healing after divorce gets real, one brave conversation at a time.

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Instagram: (@coachtiffini)

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A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go

Post Divorce Road Map : 21 Days of Journaling

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SPEAKER_01:

You can be a therapist, a coach, or the friend who swears she knows better and still fall for an avoidant man's games. In this episode, Joy, Tiffany, and I are getting brutally honest about the ridiculous ways we stayed hooked. The late night texts, the lies we half believed, the crumbs we treated like a meal. We're gonna tell on ourselves so you can finally stop telling yourself you're the only one. And then we're flipping the script and answering five raw, spicy questions about why you kept texting back and what those messages really mean and how to break the cycle for good. This episode is equal parts cringe, comedy, and clarity. But most importantly, by the end, you'll never look at that buzz of his name lighting up your phone the same way again. Hi, love. Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence. I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorcee. Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce. Okay, here's what makes this episode even more fun. I planned this episode without telling you to what I was planning. We don't usually we usually plan all together. Yeah. So friends, they they don't know. They don't know what I'm about to ask. They're looking at each other like shit. Okay. So the first half of the episode, we are talking about the dumb shit we did when still hooked on avoidant partners. And I'm not like, I think for me, that's not just about my ex-husband, but it's about my first post-divorce serious relationship because I was like, it was maybe even more unhinged there. Um so uh we're gonna tell tell some stories. And the reason for that is right because I think we get we get a lot of feedback from the women we work with where they'll share things with us and they're like, you're never gonna see me the same, right? Like they think like peep, I don't know. We all just think we're terminally terminally unique with our insecurities and our knuckle-headed behavior, and it keeps us like trapped or whatever. So I think that when we tell our stories, it makes it easier for women to break out of their own patterns, right? Okay, but then I have five curated questions that if if women could answer these five questions for themselves, they would be well on their way to really transforming the cycle of being texted in the middle of the night when they feel alone, on a holiday, like you know, how an avoidant man just knows where to push, right? And um, so a woman who could answer these five questions, and you guys have no idea what the questions are. Is this like too close of an echo to the Tuesday episode? But they're different questions, yeah. Okay. All right, so hit me with your most unhinged Joey. You've got some good ones. Wait, what? Considering I don't know where this is going, I'm just like half-baked lies you believed, like you know what I mean, like the avoidance strategies that you fell for and had trouble like really opting out of that habit or pattern, like the very real nitty-gritty stories. Like, for instance, my ex-husband got uh we had we were getting life insurance. Um and so we had to do the physical and the blood work or whatever, right? And while now as a practicing homeopath, I know that you can have elevated liver enzymes for like genetic reasons and that, but like my ex-husband is an alcoholic, and he had severely fatty liver at 26. That's not that's probably not genetics, that's addiction. It never occurred to me, right? Because that's how that's how codependent I was, that's how in denial, that's how much I would believe anything he said. Or in my most serious relationship after divorce, this is the one where Joy and I like met in person for the first time, where she dropped everything and had a premi special needs baby and drove down to help rescue me. But like in that relationship at the end, where it was coming unglued, and he was like telling me he had he had a daughter, right? That the baby seat was broken and so I couldn't pick her up from school. Like he was like secretly withdrawing, keeping all these secrets, telling me all these lies, and I was just like believing him, hook, line, and sinker, or you know, how I spent all my money to support him opening his business because he promised me that there was gonna be this massive windfall, you know, like all like these ridiculous are the ridiculous things I did, ladies. Like I liquidated my retirement to prop this guy up. Like this, tell I want these stories from you.

SPEAKER_00:

So he so my husband was very, very good at making me feel crazy. Um, he was very good at gaslighting me, spinning things. And so, like one time we were cleaning out his car, and I found a hair, lawn, red hair in his car, and he convinced me that it was my children's, that my lawn, blonde hair little girls who would not be in the front seat of his car would leave it. And like he was so I was gonna say such a willing participant. No, no, no. I was such a willing participant, and he was good at it that I let him convince me that I didn't know my own profession. I was a licensed, I do hair. I do like that I can spot hair a mile away. Like it's kind of my thing. I'm very good at it. Right? I'm very, very good at it. I'm a trained, um, but like I let him get away with shit like that all the time. Or when I um you know, like he would he would he would sit with my children for them to fall asleep. And I walked in one time and he got really fishy about his phone, and I started to make a scene in front of my children, and he got up and he was just like, Well, I have this article, and if I if you if you look at my phone, it's the article's gonna go away and not gonna be able to um you know find it again, and I really want to finish it. Just let me finish reading this article before you touch my phone. And like, and I was I stood there and argued with him about like, no, I want to see your phone. I want to see your phone. And I finally was just like, I'm just seeing things, I'm just making things up, you know. Um I was I think I was because women know, right? They know in their nervous systems, they know when something's happening. And so I think I was such a willing participant in the lies in the story because I liked my Instagram curated stay-at-home life, and that I bel I would defend him. Someone say, like, he's he's doing this and he's doing this. And I'm like, no, he would not, he would never. Like, I can't believe you know what I mean? Because I would defend him. I would, I was so safe in my chaos and my drama and all of these things that kept me, because that's what I grew up in.

SPEAKER_01:

That that's what this is bringing forward a memory for me that I think I was in my 20s, maybe late 20s. I think I must have been around the time of getting divorced, and I was at my grandparents' house, and I don't know if my grandmother had passed away or I don't know, but it was in this season, right, where I was sort of divorcing and my grandmother was fading and all of this, and something came to light that my dad did when I was very, very young. And it suddenly was framed in such a way that I needed the reconciliation of the truth. And I called him and confronted him. And he backpedaled and backpedaled and backpedaled, and I finally said it was the whole classic strategy, right? And I finally said to him, and I've learned this about both addicts and avoidance at this point, but I said to him, if you lie to me right here, I am done. And I've had this capacity since I would say about since approaching my 30s, I have been I was developing this capacity to push the red button. And I think that's what allowed me to finally get divorced and that kind of thing, right? But I said to him, I will no longer maintain a relationship with you if you cannot find it in you to be honest with me in this moment. And for me, I've used that strategy sort of over and over again since with anyone who I get this nervous system sense that you're referencing, right? And in that moment, he owned it. But then I had to reconcile all the years of he has been a very dishonest person my whole life. My ex-husband was an incredibly secretive and dishonest person. I had become secretive and dishonest in my life, and I had to go through the hard work of unpacking a life, you know, framed in dishonesty. Yeah, it was just like that's just how life was. Yeah. Really hard, big stuff. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I remember um it was actually the morning of my baby shower, and because of extenuating circumstances, he was not with me there. He had stayed back in North Carolina, um, and I was up in Pennsylvania. And I remember the morning of the baby shower, he called me and he was crying. And I just knew that something was off and that it was not okay. And I remember coming back home from the baby shower, and if you look at pictures of me in my baby shower, I look so distant and so just kind of I was dissociated because I was just trying to get through the day so I could get home and figure out what the fuck was going on. And I remember the day that I got back, he decided that he was gonna take the day off of work, which he never does. And he was showering and he's like, Oh, we're gonna go out to breakfast and I plan this whole day for us, and da-da-da-da. And while he was in the shower, I was looking through our caller ID on our home phone, and one of his ex's numbers was on the caller ID at like 3 a.m. And when I confronted him about it, he told me that I was fucking selfish and ungrateful because he had planned this whole day for us, and how can I be focused on that? And that was bullshit, and she just happened to call and it wasn't a big thing. And I knew it was such bullshit, you know. So it was things like that that were like adding up where it would be plain in my face, right, but like nothing was being confirmed. And I wish that there would have been some sort of like, hey, yeah, this happened, but I never got any of it, and so I always thought I was crazy. Um, the the closest that I ever got was I after I left him and moved to Myrtle Beach, within a month, he flew his entire family to Myrtle Beach to try to convince me to stay with him. And he was also in Iraq or Afghanistan, I can't remember, but he came back for leave. Every fucking day he sent me roses to my place. Ladies, I fucking hate roses. And so every time I got a rose delivery, what do you like? Tiger lilies, I have them tattooed on my fucking body. Oh, and so it's like every time I would get roses, it would piss me off even more because it was more and more of a sign of like, motherfucker, I don't even like this flower. No. So when he decided to come to Myrtle and profess his love for me and tell me how sorry he was, and you know, his whole family was there, and they're like, please go back to him, everything's okay. Um, we had left then one night to drive back to North Carolina to check on our home. And my daughter got sick and we went to the ER. And we were supposed to go out with friends that night to a picnic, and he hands me his phone at the ER and says, Please go out and call them and tell them that we're not gonna be there. So I went outside, and as soon as I got outside and we had service, his fucking phone rang. This was a brand new cell phone with a brand new fucking number that he had just got when he flew back, and nobody answered when I said hello. And finally I said, This is his wife, just tell me who you are. And she proceeded to tell me who she was. And I literally walked back into that emergency room, I handed his phone and I said her name, and I said she called, and his face just went white.

SPEAKER_01:

And was that it for you? Were you like able to be done that or no?

SPEAKER_02:

That was that was done.

SPEAKER_01:

I was fucking but I think you know, change happens when the pain of staying the same hurts more than the pain of change, and I think that often takes like a big big moment that is like I needed it to be in my face, and I hated that I needed it to be in my face.

SPEAKER_02:

I hated that he had convinced me that I was so fucking crazy that I wasn't trusting my gut and my intuition when I knew that every time I got this sinking feeling in my gut, I was right.

SPEAKER_01:

I think I have more of those stories from before I got married than during, but you know, this is about when he keeps texting after.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, and he, you know, he insisted on filing the paperwork, even though I was the one that asked for the divorce. Because that's the control tactic. But then he kept filing the paperwork wrong. Yeah. And so our divorce was delayed by like a year and a half because he he failed to file the paperwork wrong, and he had these stupid ass stipulations in our separation that I couldn't have a man spend the night at my home while we were separated, that every time he called my phone asking for my daughter, if it was between this time and this time, I was required to let them speak. Like all of this stupid shit that was just his attack, like his his attempt at like continuing to control. Yes, it was crazy. But yeah, but yet he was out dating very, very quickly after classic, very, very quickly after. And um, yeah. I just didn't like being made feel like I was crazy. That's the worst part of it, right? When you just when they have you so convinced that they're not doing what they think, because then it makes you question everything about yourself. And then when everything does come out, you're like, is this really what I deserve? Like, is this the level of like what I'm gonna have the rest of my life with any man? Is there any man out there that's trustworthy or that I can trust?

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I mean, and today, right, I can tell you that the underpinnings of that for me are so firmly rooted. I know I told the story about my dad, but like at the end of the day, like that defines my relationship with my mother. Like, I feel I historically felt I'm so clear today, but I just so historically felt like she would make everything I was always the problem, you know, and then fast forward to being married to an addict, sex addict, you know, alcoholic, you name it, and like the lengths to which she would go to hide the porn use and the masturbate, the excessive, like, you know, masturbate, all the weird, creepy sex stuff, right? The extent to which he would lie and cover and all those things. And um, yeah, I think the amount of denial, avoidance, dishonesty, all of that, like I and I don't think my mom has a clue that that's what she's up to, but that making you feel crazy thing, like I just right, we just reenact. That's what we do. It's inevitable. Unless we repair, we reenact over and over and over again.

SPEAKER_02:

And my body has a clear, like my nervous system has a clear symbol for when that alarm is going off and it's correct, and it feels like my entire body is on fire and I know it. Yep. I know without a doubt that someone is bullshitting me, that they're lying to me, that my intuition is spat on. But it took a long time for me to be able to trust myself coming out of that because I was so brainwashed into thinking that I was just insecure or crazy or jealous or you know, pick anything, whatever.

SPEAKER_01:

So I'm gonna ask our listeners and the two of you five questions that had we been able to answer back then, right, would have helped us break the cycle. And I think that if you write these down and you write your answers out, it's way more powerful. I think if you write these down and you write your answers out while you're humming, it's way more powerful. And I'm gonna add a little somatic technique that I just started using recently, really fascinating, and you know what's interesting? I didn't know this somatic technique, but I was sitting in session with someone recently, and it's like I heard that voice in my mind, and it's not a voice. I didn't, it's I don't hear a voice. How do I say that? I don't know. I just knew to say to do this thing, and then later I looked it up and it was it's a thing. Isn't that interesting? Yes, yes, so if you can do ankle rolls, oh rolling your feet and your ankle, right? Like circles, ankle circles, aha, it's a somatic technique because if you can roll your ankle like that, so it's a it's a um secondary vagus nerve simulator, not a primary one like humming, but it's a secondary one. And if you can roll your ankle like that, you're not being chased, right? There's no fight, flight, or freeze, right? It's like a relaxed response, so it's like incongruent in your brain to be experiencing like a fight, flight, freeze while you're able to roll your ankles. Fascinating, hey? All right, okay. So the key is okay, when we're confronting hard shit, if we can help our nervous system process that we're not still in like being threatened, there's no real threat. The threat is in our minds at this moment, the threat is locked in our nervous systems, but we can process, we can feel safely. That's what rolling your feet and your ankles says. I can feel safely. We think that nervous system regulation means not feeling, we think it means minimizing what we're feeling. It's the opposite. Nervous system regulation is about creating the parameters inside of your nervous system where you feel safe enough to fully feel. So that's the goal. When we ask these five questions to help create the conditions where it's safe enough in your nervous system to fully feel through your responses. Okay? All right. Question one. I'm gonna phrase it like slightly differently because I'm gonna phrase it in a way that everyone in the room, whether you're driving or listening or you're in this room with us right now, you can okay. When he texts you or called you after the fact or sent you flowers after the fact, right? Whatever it was, when he reaches out, do you actually feel closer to him or just further away from your pain?

SPEAKER_02:

I felt I felt further away from myself.

SPEAKER_01:

When he reached out? Yes.

SPEAKER_02:

Because it kept, every time he would reach out, it was a symbol of how needy and how trauma-bonded we had become to each other, how codependent we were on each other. So it was like for me, it was a sickening feeling in my stomach, like just this cycle, because what I wanted in my mind was never gonna fucking happen. Like we were never gonna be that couple. I was never gonna be able to trust him, he was never gonna be able to trust me after everything.

SPEAKER_00:

So I think I literally just had a reaction when you said codependent because it was for me, it was very much I was safe if he uh gave me a crumb. Like I drew my worth on being a wife and a mother, and so there was if he gave me a crumb, then everything was okay.

SPEAKER_01:

Beautiful answers. Next question if you already knew or know that he can't meet your needs, this is an IFS question. If you already knew or know he cannot meet your needs, what part of you still refuses to see him clearly because it feels like your own failure or rejection of you?

SPEAKER_02:

It could be for me, it was the fixer, the fixer part. So I wanted to be able to fix him. I always I always had this um cycle of falling in love with the potential of who a man could be. Who, if I loved him enough, god just imagine how he would be, right? I never until I was an older, older adult post-divorce, learned to fall in love with someone exactly as they were.

SPEAKER_01:

Which means holding out because you can't fall in love with someone in that moment if you're honest with yourself and they're not showing up.

SPEAKER_00:

I think for me it was the people pleasing and the good Christian wife. The good Christian, I married the son of a preacher, I was you know, like it was uh an identity issue for me for um I am I'm a good Christian if I have this curated life and people see me as um a servant and a loving wife, and like remember I remember this one time. I my children were five and three, so I had a five-year-old and then twin three-year-olds, and it was Valentine's Day, and I took my girls up to his office and handed out Valentine's Day candy. And when I walked in, and he was a mid-level manager, and I walked in and we're handing out candy, and literally the entire floor of probably 50 people went deathly quiet. You could hear a pin drop, and one by one, the closer I got to certain people, the closer I got around the room started gophering, like standing above the cuticle cubicles because they knew where I was going. I had no fucking clue, right? Like I knew I knew something, but I didn't know what. And I rem like I wanted to be the wife of the manager who came and brought her children, and you know, like my can I connect a different episode we've done to this one though?

SPEAKER_01:

It's like I'm a it's like the jugular question though. So you remember the episode where you and Tiffany did an IFS session? This is when we were in retreat last year, and you you guys processed the day your mom told your dad you were nine, right? The day your mom told your dad she didn't like you. So if you saw him clearly for all of his behavior, would it confirm that nine-year-olds worse fear that people don't like you?

SPEAKER_00:

I think I think it was more yes, I think so, right? But I also think it was more of I didn't stand up for myself. I didn't call out the bullshit, I didn't in that moment on the floor of this building, I I I was so small.

SPEAKER_01:

I had curated myself to be so small that I didn't must be though, because the nine-year-old needed to live, right? Because all of her nine-year-old pain would have come crashing forward in a moment, in an instant, right? And I think if the nine-year-old could keep up this illusion that no, he likes me. Yeah, he likes me. Okay. This is for the woman who keeps getting the text messages after the fact. So, like, translate this into your own contexts, right? What would you lose? What would you lose if you stopped replying? And what would you gain?

SPEAKER_02:

I gained a lot of self-respect by putting boundaries down.

SPEAKER_00:

Like empowerment, being able to claim my worth versus waiting for him to tell me I'm worthy. I would be the daughter of a king.

SPEAKER_01:

I'm gonna step in here. Like for me, what I would lose is I would lose for me what would soothe my panic, right? Like, I just think as a single woman, I just lived in sort of a panicked state, and it was a total anxious attachment style fritz. But I think that the idea of being untethered and a text message would provide me enough of a psychic tether that I didn't feel like I was gonna die. Like I think that's really how it felt for me. Like such a sheer amount of panic. And so to stop replying or to stop initiating a text message, I had to find ways to be responsible for managing my own panic.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

I think that took a while. It took me, and that's why when I tell stories of post-divorce, like I did group therapy and got myself in yoga and workshops, and like Alan, I think it took that amount of immersion for me to feel like I had enough of a container to stop panicking.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

I mean, I I mean I had to change physical locations. I moved away because I I couldn't I couldn't be in the I didn't want to see him at the grocery store, I didn't want to see him at at anything. Yeah, I just did not want to be in that community any longer.

SPEAKER_01:

Okay, ready for the next one. This is a doozy. If your daughters had been older and were watching the dynamic, because both of your daughters were really, really young, right? If your daughters were older and watching this dynamic, what would you have wanted them to learn from it? And what might you have done differently?

SPEAKER_00:

So I think So I think for me, there was such a powerful everything, my entire world came crashing down on a Sunday. And by that Tuesday, I was in the office of a woman who um was profoundly impactful in my journey. But she asked me that very first day, what do you want your story to be? What do you want to be accountable? What do you want to be able to say to your daughters in five, 10, 15 years? Right. Somebody asked me like 48 hours from my entire world collapsing. And so I was so grateful that for and I'm still so grateful for that moment because it gave me a perspective of me being accountable to my actions and how I moved through the whole situation in terms of I would want my children to know their worth and to be able to da da right. So I think for me, because I my children were so young and because I protected them and um I and I did for years, I protected them. I would have never um I would have never told them our story because I'm only accountable for me and I'm only accountable for my actions.

SPEAKER_01:

You know, a couple weeks ago the episode about the secrets we keep, right? We're because we want to protect our children.

SPEAKER_00:

Right. So I will I will tell you my experience with it. I will tell you how I cried in the shower because I didn't want you to hear about it, or hard things I did to um mitigate us as a unit and the trauma that we were experiencing and the things that I did. Um I still send like the Brad Yates um emotional. I literally sent that to someone this morning. Um tapping for emotional pain. Tapping right, tapping for emotional pain because they were there the tools that I used at that time because Donna's my cousin. And she I called her probably, I don't know, shortly after, definitely not that day, but shortly after, and and explained what was happening. And so you sent me Brad Yates, and I had um a phenomenal community around me. So I think in terms of my children, I was able to experience it and move through that in such a beautiful way because I had already vibrationally pulled in all of these people around me and um was able to you had a container, right, can uh have a have a container to walk through um everything and being accountable for myself and being able to hold a line when he starts throwing things at me verbally, and you know, like I actually know I was actually a really fucking awesome wife and you fucked it up, not me. And like I wasn't, I wasn't like I don't think anybody is ever innocent in a situation because we all have our own demons and flesh and whatever, but um being able to hold that line of like, no, this is actually you, dude, you know. Um and it was really empowerful, it was very, very powerful for me to be able to look my children in the eye and say, I I fought for your dad, you know. But also he doesn't get to treat me like that.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. I think you know, the thing that was very that that helped catapult me into honestly leaving was that question that my mom asked me when she said, Would you ever want your daughter with a man like him? And I just that was all that was it. Um and again, this was after years of things, right? So it wasn't like I just made the decision to leave overnight. And I just thought to myself, like I never want her to think that this is okay, this dynamic, obviously taking the blame, you know, and I've shared things with her over the years, you know, now she's 20 years old, she's almost 21. So when she asks me questions, I answer them honestly. But I always answer them from a space of we were both in the wrong in things that happened. It was not one person's fault. And now that she's older, she understands my personality versus her dad's, and she says, gee, mom, like I don't even know how you guys ended up together. Well, but you know, she she gets it now. But yeah, I would never want to stay in that setting and watch her. Like, I I just I don't know. I would want so much more for her, and I tell her all the time, I hope that you learn a hell of a lot younger than I did.

SPEAKER_01:

I can totally see how you two got together, but I could totally see how Ari Like you are such a porcelain doll with your little high bun and your chocolate cardigan, like 20-something Tiff TIF was a different she was very different.

SPEAKER_02:

She was your low-cut tattoo wielding, nose piercing, nipple rings. I had it all. Like I was I was the edgy girl in the rock band, and I just him and I trauma bonded, and that was all we needed. We did not need a lot of steam to get rolling on that train to wherever the hell we were going.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. Okay. Last question. I really want everybody to be in their bodies for this one. Not so much because it's such an intense question. We already did the doozies. This one's a lot easier, right? But I think that if you're not in your qu in your body when this question lands, like it doesn't get the same results, right? So what would be scarier? This is for the woman, again, because the frame here is he keeps texting, right? It's like he's not, he wants to maintain control, so he's not going away, right? What's scarier? Never hearing from him again. I think a lot of women, I have really struggled with this over the years. I have a lot of clients who struggle with this because it really means letting go of some type of validation, some some crumb, right? That has been feeding something that, right? So what's scarier? Never hearing from him again, or the realization that you are still, he is still the puppet of your nervous system, that you are still not running your own nervous system. Which thing feels scarier in your body? And I think the real somatic answer to that really shows us right where where the work still needs to be done. Reactions.

SPEAKER_00:

I I think for me, the puppet because he only has power over you. So he can text all day long, but as long as he has the power to pull your strings and make you dance, that's that's what's scary to me.

SPEAKER_02:

I would agree, and I knew until I could let go of that. Like, and I'm telling you, any ladies out there that think that they're ready to date and you're still texting your ex, you're not fucking ready. Like, you're just not. And no man is gonna put up with that shit, no good man is gonna vibrationally be a match for you if you're still what you're saying you want. Correct. So for me, it's like if you're playing these little I call them fuck fuck games, or you're still hooking up, or you're still, you know, needing his attention, you know, like it's like you you gotta get your shit together because it's not gonna happen for you. So it's like the clients that tell me, like, well, there's no good men out there, but you're flirting with your ex on text message at midnight, like what the fuck? Like you you can't have it both ways. He's an ex for a raise, but yeah, he really is. So yeah, I would say like for me, it was scarier to feel under his control than it would have been for me to never hear from him ever again.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, loves, you are well on your way to reclaiming your own nervous system, your own empowerment, your own sense of self and worth if you have written down any of these questions and your own answers. So well done. Thank you for being a premium listener. We want to just get you excited about something that's coming. As a premium listener, we are gonna be rolling out, you may have already heard about this in email, but as a premium listener, we're going to start offering monthly workshops for our premium listeners. And it's just a part of your subscription. So nothing to do, no extra fee. We will provide replays as we can, but yeah, monthly workshops is now part of your premium subscription. So make sure you're on the lookout for that. And if you have a workshop idea, something you'd really like help breaking through, send me a DM on Instagram at Don Wiggins, or you can send us an email if you are not on the IG. Hello at mycoachDon.com, and you can submit your suggestions for a premium workshop. We love you so much. Peace.

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Divorce Recovery Maven Dawn Wiggins

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