280. The Ache of Alone: A Guided EFT Practice to Remember You Belong After Divorce

There’s a kind of loneliness that doesn’t just live in your thoughts — it lives in your body...It’s the ache in your chest when you see another couple holding hands.
The quiet in the house that feels too loud.
The impulse to pour a glass of wine or take something to help you not feel so much.

In this episode of Dear Divorce Diary, Dawn, Joy, and Tiff guide you through a custom EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) tapping practice designed to help you release the nervous system pain of being single in a couple’s world — and remember that belonging starts within.

Before the guided sequence, you’ll learn how EFT actually works:
Why we tap on certain meridian points, what each one helps release (grief, shame, resentment, fear), and how those points help regulate your nervous system when loneliness hits hard.

Then, together, they lead you through a real-time tapping meditation to help your body feel safe again — safe to feel, safe to rest, and safe to belong to yourself.

✨ In this episode

• What EFT really does to calm the post-divorce nervous system
• The nine meridian points and the emotions they help release
• A step-by-step guided tapping sequence for the ache of being single in a couple’s world
• A nervous system reframe that turns “alone” into “at home in myself”

🧘‍♀️ Try it now

Find a quiet space.
Take a deep breath.
Tap along as Dawn leads the practice and notice your body start to soften — the exhale that says, I’m okay. I belong here.

💡 Want more?

Premium subscribers get monthly live workshops with Coach Tiffini (including replays), somatic healing tools that deepen each Tuesday episode, and access to every guided practice inside the Dear Divorce Diary library.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawn

Instagram: (@dawnwiggins)

Instagram: (@coachtiffini)

On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com

A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.

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Transcript

Purpose Of Dear Divorce Diary

Why EFT Helps Loneliness

What EFT Is And How It Works

The Nine Tapping Points Explained

Preparing For The Guided Sequence

SPEAKER_00 0:03

If you have been feeling the pain, the visceral pain of being single in a couple's world and known you need to break the pattern of using an ambient or a glass of wine to distract yourself, this episode is for you. Hi, love. Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence. I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorcee. Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce. Today's episode is so powerful because it has the ability to fundamentally begin to rewire what you experience when you're feeling lonely, when you are feeling the pain of singleness. And while we talk a lot about EFT around here, we haven't always talked about how it works, what it does, and the places where we physically tap the body, why we use those spots and what they do. So I'm gonna walk you through today. The ladies and I are gonna tap with you together, but before that, we're gonna talk a little bit about how EFT works. And then we're gonna go straight into a custom EMT EFT tapping sequence specific to helping you release the pain of feeling single in a couple's world. Ladies, welcome. We love talking about this shit. Yes. Hello, hello. Producer Joy specifically was like, we have never talked about what the meridians are. And I was like, good point. Let's do that. So producer Joy for the win. So what is EFT? It's actually known as emotional freedom technique. It combines principles of modern psychology and ancient Chinese acupressure. So during the session, the point is to focus on what's causing you the stress, the pain, or the discomfort while tapping specific sets of you know, acupressure points on the body. The EFT points correspond to traditional Chinese medicine. And when we tap on those points, it sends calming signals to the nervous system and the brain, letting it know that it's safe to relax, feel the feelings, and release whatever is driving the stress in the body. So it allows you to release, to find more balance, to find more peace in the body and help ease you forward from a nervous system standpoint. So there are nine meridians that we tap on. And you'll heal hear me calling them in the EFT sequence that we're gonna do after this. And so as we walk through them, now you'll know what they do and why we do them. And, you know, just memorize the sequence because you can use it anytime. So we always start on the side of the hand or the heel of the hand. It's called the karate chop. And that corresponding meridian is the small intestine. It helps the body release feeling stuck, promotes ease in moving forward, letting go, healing from grief, and becoming happy in the present moment. So that's that karate chop on the side of the hand. The next thing that we do is the eyebrow, and it's really that inner line of the eyebrow. It's just outside of those 11s. You get those Botox, that Botox form. So that inner eyebrow point is the bladder. For women, this is often so, so, so important, right? So if you've ever had excessive peeing, like has to do with your emotions, loves. So this inside eyebrow point really is the bladder. It releases trauma, hurt, sadness, promotes peace and emotional healing. The next one is the side of eye, and it's literally just tapping, you know, on the side of the eye. Like if you had cat, cat eyeliner, it would be like where those wings would stop, right? And this corresponds to the gallbladder, which is where we tend to store resentment and anger. So it helps clear that gallbladder meridian. Then we tap under the eye, like sort of on the apex of the orbital sockets. And this corresponds to the stomach, which releases fear, anxiety, promotes feelings of contentment, calmness, and safety, helps with digestion. Woo-hoo. Then we have under the nose, like on this top lip, and this is the just overall governing vessel, which releases shame and powerlessness, promotes self-acceptance, self-empowerment, compassion for self and others. Gosh, when you know these points, you just sort of can know where to target when your nervous system is triggered for various reasons, right? Under the mouth, sort of this chin point, the crease between your chin and your bottom lip. This is a central meridian in our whole system. It releases confusion, uncertainty, promotes clarity, confidence, and self-acceptance. Then we have the collarbone points. This is kidneys. And so this is releasing feelings of being stuck, boosting confidence and clarity. If you find yourself peeing a lot, you know, the kidney point here is really, really key. And then we have under the arm, sort of where your bra runs around, you know, your midsection. Uh about it's like maybe a hand's width below your armpit, about where your bra is. And so you can do it on both sides of your body. And this is this is spleen meridian. So that releases guilt, worry, and obsessing. Hello. We all need that during the season. And then there's the top of the head, which is the crown chakra. It's really sort of like a central point where there's many, many meridians that come through. Um, but it helps open the crown chakra and promotes spiritual connection. Wow, that was really powerful. Producer Joy, like such a gift you gave us by asking the right question. So we're now gonna do this custom EFT for feeling lonely in a couple's world. We're gonna the three of us are gonna do it together along with you. So when you're doing this tapping, know that we are literally tapping over here in the studio with you at the same time. So remember, the point is to focus on the pain that you're experiencing in the body mind. Tap on the corresponding areas. I'm gonna call them out. Now you know what they're doing. Breathe, feel. If you want to repeat anything I'm saying out loud or in your mind's eye, that's fine. And by the end of this tapping sequence, you will have released or shifted some of this painful energy. You can do it as many times as you need to. The more often you do it, the more you will be releasing and unburdening this pain. Sometimes when we do these, we combine it with EFS to IFS to make it even more powerful. This isn't that, but just no, there are so many cool ways that we can use EFT, and it's fundamentally improving your overall physical and mental health. All right, ladies, you ready to dig in?

SPEAKER_01 6:44

Yes, we are ready.

EFT Round One: Naming The Pain

EFT Round Two: Releasing Beliefs

EFT Round Three: Claiming Worth

Integration And Calm After Tapping

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Okay. Maestro, if you could put a beautiful musical track behind this EFT tapping sequence to just make it a more immersive experience. All right, love. Find a moment of space. Take a deep breath in. Deeper, deeper, deeper. And exhale or sigh it out. This isn't about fixing anything. It's about letting your body know it is safe to feel and it is safe to release what you're feeling. As we move through this, you can repeat after me in your mind's eye or out loud, whichever one feels more powerful, and just follow the rhythm of the sequence. We're going to start with the karate chop on the side of your hand. Even though the world feels built for couples, and sometimes that makes me feel invisible or left out. Even though the world feels built for couples, and that sometimes makes me feel invisible or left out. I am open to letting my body know I belong exactly as I am. Tapping on the inner eyebrow. This ache of being the odd one out. I feel it in my body. I feel it in multiple places in my body. This ache of being the odd one out. Side of eye. All the plus one reminders that sting. Not knowing who to put on my emergency contact form. Not having a person under your eye. The empty seat across the table. The hollow sensation in my body. The quiet, dark house at the end of the night. Under the nose or at the top of the lip. The feeling that something's wrong with me. And the intrusive thoughts about something being wrong with me. Tapping on the chin in that crease. The silent shame that seems to whisper, I failed. I can feel it in my body. Tapping on the collarbones. All these tiny micro-rejections adding up inside me. Under your arms. The tiredness and exhaustion of always pretending I'm fine. Trying to push these feelings down, trying to distance from them or numb them. Top of your head. But my body remembers. And it's not letting me off the hook for every moment that I feel unseen or invisible or like I don't matter. Karate Chop side of the hand. Even though my nervous system still feels wired for danger when I'm alone, today I choose to let our softer story start to take shape. Today I choose to let a softer story start to take shape. Tapping on the inner eyebrow, I release the belief that I'm incomplete. I release, I release, I release. Even as I feel resistance in my body as I say this, I choose to release the belief that I'm incomplete. Side of I. I am releasing the pressure to prove I'm thriving. I am releasing the pressure to prove anything. Under the eye, I am beginning to release. Just beginning to release resentment at a world that doesn't get it or me. I'm learning to release resentment at a world that doesn't get divorced or me. Under the nose, I'm beginning to release the echo of old attachment fears. And every time I choose to do this EFT tapping sequence, it is happening. Releasing that echo of old attachment fears. Tapping on the chin crease. I release the need to overperform just to be included. It's exhausting. I'm releasing that need to overperform just to be included. Pick me energy. Collarbone. I release the loneliness that has been asking for safety. I'm creating that safety right now in this moment with this EFT sequence. Underarm. I release the idea that partnership equals worth. I'm beginning to release the idea that partnership equals worth. Top of head. I let this space, my space, my vessel, be enough. A little bit at a time, becoming more and more and more enoughness. Back to our karate shop at the side of the hand. I am opening up to feeling at home in my body and in my company. I am opening up to feeling more and more at home in my body and my company with every time I do this sequence. I am open to trusting the connection starts inside of me. I am opening to trusting. The connection starts inside of me. Inner eyebrow. My nervous system is learning it can rest now. And I can feel the shift starting to unfold. My nervous system is feeling like it can rest now. What a gift. Side of I. I'm allowed to take up space. Solo. What an interesting thought. Under I, I belong to myself and my creator first. I belong to myself and my creator first. And sometimes that feels wobbly, but I'm owning it, choosing it. I'm leaning into it. I'm picking it. I'm manifesting it. Under nose, top of lip. I'm allowed to want love without needing rescue. I'm open to receiving love without needing rescue. I'm open to receiving abundance without needing rescue. Under chin. I'm learning to feel safe even when I'm not chosen. I'm learning to feel safe even when I'm not feeling chosen. I am learning to feel safe even when I'm not feeling chosen. Collarbones. I'm learning to trust that wholeness and peace and self-acceptance are my birthright. I'm learning. I'm opening to the idea that wholeness, peace, and self-acceptance are my birthright. Under arms, I'm free to build a life that fits me and can include other people in it, but a life that fits me and then includes other people. Top of head. Even in a couple's world. And so it is. Take a slow deep breath in. Feel your chest expand. Feel your belly fill. Release it. And notice you have shifted. You didn't have to earn it. You didn't have to perform it. You just had to usher it in. That's belonging. That's nervous system health. That's owning your self-esteem, your healing journey. It's receiving all that is available to you. So when the world feels built for two, remember you are already whole. Tifferdoodle, how did that feel?

SPEAKER_01 18:37

What did you notice? Always much calmer when I do EFT. Like as soon as like my body is so conditioned now that literally, like, as soon as I start tapping on the karate side, like I just instantly calm. Like it's just instant. Mm-hmm.

unknown 18:59

Right.

Practice Over Time And Rubber Band

SPEAKER_00 18:59

So we all feel like we could take naps now. But like in the beginning of our journey where we started EFT tapping, we didn't feel like we could take nap after after an EFT sequence, right? It's like because our nervous systems are rubber bands, right? And when we've been chronically stressed for a long period of time, the nervous, the rubber band is like overstretched and it's sort of stuck in that spot, right? So when you've been doing, when you've been doing this over time, then the nervous system and the rubber band becomes more flexible and like you start EFT and boop, like the rubber band goes, goes, shrinks and it feels feels better. Yeah. All right, so keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. It's worth it. Took that from a 12-step meeting.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

Thought it was a Missy Elliott song.

Closing And Workshop Invitation

SPEAKER_00 19:45

It could be. We could, we could, we could do that. Um, all right, loves. Um make sure you sign up for our November premium workshop with Coach Tifferdoodle. And we love having you here. Thank you so much for doing this work with us. We love you so much. Peace.com