294. Divorce Anxiety 😟 Calming an Overloaded Nervous System with EFT Tapping and IFS

After divorce, many women aren’t just grieving...they’re carrying too much in their nervous system.

Too much responsibility.
Too much self-doubt.
Too much pressure to hold it together.

That load doesn’t live in your thoughts. It lives in your body.

In this episode, Dawn guides a somatic practice that blends EFT tapping with IFS-style parts work to help the nervous system release what it’s been holding. This is not about insight, fixing, or doing it right. It’s about staying in the body long enough for real relief to happen.

The focus is simple: meet the overwhelmed part with compassion, let go of what was never meant to be carried alone, and restore capacity one layer at a time.

If this created even a small shift, there are three ways to continue:

• Take the Divorce Recovery Nervous System Quiz to understand how your system is organized after divorce and where it’s getting stuck.
• Join Dear Divorce Diary Premium for deeper nervous system support, guided practices, and behind-the-scenes conversations.
• Join the Cocoon Community for ongoing (free), structured support that integrates somatic work, regulation, and real-life healing.

This isn’t about becoming stronger.
 It’s about carrying less.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/MyCoachDawn

Instagram: (@dawnwiggins)

Instagram: (@coachtiffini)

On the Web: https://www.mycoachdawn.com

A podcast exploring the journey of life after divorce, delving into topics like divorce grief, loneliness, anxiety, manifesting, the impact of different attachment styles and codependency, setting healthy boundaries, energy healing with homeopathy, managing the nervous system during divorce depression, understanding the stages of divorce grief, and using the Law of Attraction and EMDR therapy in the process of building your confidence, forgiveness and letting go.

✨Join the Cocoon Community - your people are waiting! ✨

Chapters

• 3:14 Welcome And Purpose Of Practice
• 4:41 How To Engage Without Perfection
• 6:17 Landing In The Body And Breath
• 8:16 Meeting The Overwhelmed Part
• 10:50 First EFT Round To Witness Burden
• 15:51 Ask What You’re Holding And Why
• 18:46 Second EFT Round To Allow Release
• 23:52 Create Space And Restore Capacity
• 27:07 Gratitude, Integration, And Next Steps

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 2:13

If you reached for this episode today, it's because there's something inside of you, a part of you, that is carrying too much, too much emotional weight, too much responsibility, too much fear, too much of the story that says, I can't, I'm stuck, I don't have what it takes. And that story isn't you. It's a burden, a block, a depletion, a freeze. Today we're gonna do something powerful: something that blends EFT tapping with IFS parts work to help you unburden one piece of what is draining your capacity. And you're not gonna think your way through this. You're going to feel the shift in your body. Hi, love. Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence. I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorce guy. Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce. All right, I'm gonna walk you through a little bit of what we're gonna do today because very often what brings people out of their body away from the somatic reprocessing is hopping into their mind and asking themselves if they're doing it right. So, to all of my perfectionists out there who are worried about performing this episode correctly, please shake that out right now. The most important thing that you're going to do is be with my voice, drop into your body, and feel into this process. If you do the EFT tapping sequence, great. If you do it wonky, great. If you just are in the zone of being able to tap some of the common spots, we start with the karate chop on the back of the hand, we do the interior of the eyebrow, we do the side of the eye, the top of the lip, the chin, the collarbones, the bra straps, the top of head. I will call those out, right? I'm gonna call them out. Don't worry if you're doing it right. Tap somewhere that's one of those spots, and you will get movement. The more important thing is that you're in your body, then you're doing it right. And so if you notice yourself trying to do it right, you're not in your body anymore. You're now in your thinking brain and you're not getting the full benefit. So the more important part is to connect with me, with yourself, with your body, to relax into it, and to allow yourself to receive the experience of unburdening. So, with that caveat, I'm gonna start walking you through the experience of landing in your body. So I want you to place one hand on your chest and one hand on your belly or your solar plexus, whatever feels more comfortable for you, because again, it's about being able to land in your body. So if I've asked you to put your hand somewhere that all of a sudden makes you, then put your hand somewhere else that allows you to connect deeper. So with your hands connecting, I want you to let your shoulders soften just a tiny percentage. I want you to find a breath. I want you to let your jaw loosen. I want you to let your eyes land somewhere you can find stillness. So that might be a closed eye. That might be staring down the bridge of your nose, that might be connecting with a point in the room. It's just finding a place where you can find some stillness and some connection. You don't have to quote unquote do anything. This is more about the process of allowing. Take a breath and just notice yourself. Just notice you. Notice what your body is saying, notice what your breath is saying, notice what your mind is doing. You don't have to change it, you just have to notice. Take one long inhale. And exhale like you're blowing on warm soup. Your body is here. Your energy is here. Your system is here. Good. Now I want you to notice where in your body do you feel the part that's overwhelmed? The part that says, I can't. This is too much. It's not there. I don't trust myself. I don't know what the heck I'm doing. I'm so tired. Where does that land the loudest? In your chest, in your throat, in your stomach, behind your eyes, in the back of your heart. Just name the location. Out loud gets bonus points. And now allow yourself to connect a little deeper with this part of you. I want you to imagine this body sensation is a part of you. It's not all of you, it's just one part. And she has an essence. She has a way. And you, the self, are going to meet her today. Just notice that. This part of you that has a sensation in your body, you're gonna connect more deeply with her today. So just take a couple of rounds of breath, feeling into that, just being with the sensation, not trying to change it, not trying to do anything about it, just being with it. In a moment, we are gonna transition into some EFT tapping. I don't want the EFT to fully take you out of this somatic awareness. The most important part is that you stay connected with your body. If you can add some EFT tapping, great. If you can't and it becomes too much, let it go. Or just stay with the back of the hand, the karate chop on the back of the hand. So let's begin with the karate chop on the back of your hand, being aware of that body sensation, and repeat after me, either out loud or silently. Even though this part of me feels overwhelmed and blocked, I deeply love and honor myself. We're only tapping on the back of the hand, just connecting with this part of you. Even though she feels like she can't do it. I'm here with her now. Even though she's carrying too much, she doesn't have to carry it alone. Good. You did it, you did great. We're gonna move from this into a tapping round. We're on the internal part of your eyebrows, the edge of your eyebrows, just noticing tapping, this part is exhausted. Now we're gonna tap on the side of your eye, where the eyeliner would end. On your temples. This part does not trust that she can handle everything. She does not trust she can handle everything. She's too overwhelmed, too exhausted. Now you're gonna tap under your eye. She thinks she's supposed to do this alone. Holy shit, she thinks she's supposed to do this alone. Just tapping under that eye, feeling into your body, witnessing this part of you that is so collapsed, so overburdened. Tapping the top of your lip or under your nose. She's overwhelmed. She's so fricking overwhelmed. Just staying in your body, feeling what there is to feel, staying with the sensations, not disassociating, being with that breath. She's so overwhelmed. Then tapping on the crease in your chin. This part of me is carrying a burden that isn't hers. It's such a heavy burden. It continues to burden her and to feel heavy. She's carrying this burden all alone, and it isn't hers. Tapping on your collarbones, two hands if you can, one hand on the left collarbone, one hand on the right collarbone. She's tired in a way that talking can't fix. She's tired in a way that talking can't fix. Staying with your breath, tapping those collarbones, being in your body, connecting with this. Now tapping under your arms where your bra wraps around your body. She thinks she should be stronger than she feels. Oh yeah. That's it right there. She thinks she should be and has to be stronger than she feels that she is. Tapping under those arms. Breathing, staying in it, feeling what there is to feel. And then tapping at the top of your head, one hand or both hands, either way, it doesn't matter. And I am meeting her with compassion. I am meeting her with compassion. Taking a really deep breath. Relaxing your hands down. You can either relax them into your lap or putting them back on your heart and your core, whichever allows you to feel more connected with your body. Now I want you to bring your awareness back to that part. And I want you to ask her gently. I want you to visualize her in the way that she is so overwhelmed. What are you holding that isn't yours? Let something, anything, a word, an image, a sensation, an awareness, let it rise. Don't overthink it. It could be a sensation, it could be a color, it could be an image, it could be like anything. Don't overthink it. Trust what comes up. And now I want you to notice how long, since when have you been carrying this? It might be since the betrayal, since the shock, since the marriage, since forever. Whatever she shows you, believe her. Staying in your body, staying with your breath is a very tempting spot to disassociate or to disconnect from your body. This is the moment where finding your breath, staying grounded in your seat, trusting that your body knows how to release this burden, leaning into the sound of my voice, leaning into the support system you are building here in this podcast, in this community, just breathing through it. This is the moment to hang in. I want you to ask this part of you one more thing. What do you want or need me to know or understand right now? What is it that you need me to understand that I have not been understanding? Stay with your breath and stay in your body. Do not abandon that part of you now. Roll your ankles if you have to, hum if you have to. Roll your shoulders. Find a way to stay connected with her, to stay in your body. Find your breath. Whatever it is she needs you to understand. And now to fully assist with staying in your body, we're going to go back to EFT. So again, don't worry about getting it right. Worry about staying and witnessing this part of you who is communicating with you, who's choosing to trust you right now, okay? Finding that inner eyebrow tap. Tapping on that inner eyebrow. She's been carrying this for so long. She's been carrying this for so, so long. Just tapping and acknowledging that. Staying in your body with your breath. Moving to the side of eye, that end of eyeliner part on your temples. And she thought she had to. She thought it was required. She thought she had to keep carrying it over and over and over again. Tapping in that side of eye. Moving to under the eye. She took on this weight to try to keep me safe. This part of me took on all this weight to keep me safe. Under the nose at the top of your lip. And now she's so tired. She's just so very tired. Tapping in the crease of the chin. She wants to let go. She wants to put this weight down so badly. She wants to just let go. Tapping on the collarbones. She wants to unburden this. She wants relief. She wants permission. She needs permission to let go. To unburden. Tapping on the collarbones. Tapping under the arms where your bra wraps around your body. She doesn't want to hold this anymore. She's feeling more ready than ever to put it down. She doesn't want this anymore. She feels like I'm done with that. Tapping at the top of your head. And I am allowing her to put it down. I am allowing her to let it go. I am allowing, I am allowing, I am allowing. For her to put it down and let it go. Tapping at the top of the head. Now I want you to take a deep inhale and a long exhale. Deepest inhale of the day. Relaxing your arms down. Taking a couple more rounds of breath. Just witnessing. Noticing your body, maybe doing a body scan from the top of your head down to the bottom of your feet. Noticing what your body is saying. Really witnessing that part of you that you just connected with. Really seeing her handing off this energy. Giving it to the earth, giving it to the light, giving it to this podcast, giving it away. It maybe is a weight, a shape, a color, a heaviness. Watch as it evaporates out of her body and leaves yours. A burden that was taking up space. Feel the space in your body that it is creating. Notice your breath. Notice, is it tighter or is it looser? Is it anxious about letting go or is it really experiencing relief? Would you like a little more capacity right here? Would you like to create even more space right now? Right now to let go even more to usher in even more capacity, even more energy, even deeper sleep tonight, even better recalibration. Would you like more energy now? Great. We're gonna do one more round of tapping. Inner eyebrow. I am creating space. I am freaking creating space. I am claiming my energy. Tapping in that inner eyebrow. My body, my energy, my choices. Side of eye. I am restoring my capacity. Holy shit. One unburdening at a time. I am going to usher in capacity. I am going to increase my energy. I am going to rise. Tapping on that side of eye. Under eye. It's starting to make sense to me. I'm carrying too many burdens. And now my system is opening. Hot damn. My system is opening because I'm connecting the dots. I'm carrying too many burdens. And as I put them down, I restore my capacity and my system opens. Whoa. Noticing my breath, noticing my body, tapping under the nose, top of lip. There's more room to breathe. There is more room to breathe.

unknown: 24:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_00: 24:10

Tapping under the crease of the chin, crease of the chin. There's more room to feel.

unknown: 24:16

Huh.

SPEAKER_00: 24:21

More room to feel. Tapping on the collarbones. There is room to rise. I get it now. There is room to rise. This is why they say I'm unstoppable. This is why they say I'm pure magic. Because each time I choose to do an unburdening, there is more room to rise. There is more I can. There is more capacity. There is more, I have more power, more energy, more of me. There's room to rise. Tapping on those collarbones. Tapping under my arms where my bra wraps around my body. I am becoming more me. That's what they mean. Every time I put down a burden, I put down some burden somebody else handed me. I actually have more space for me. I am becoming more me. Whoa. The true me, not the fake me that's been carrying around everybody else's bullshit. There's more room for me to be in touch with who I am and what I like and what I want and what I where I'm going and where I'm not going and what's my truth and what's somebody else's installed bullshit. I am becoming more me. Tapping under my arms. Tapping the top of my head. My capacity is growing right now. My capacity is increasing, it is growing, and I feel different. Tapping at the top of my head. Take a deep breath, release all that down, put both hands on your chest, feel the difference. Feel what lifted, feel what opened, feel what softened. And say to this part of you, thank you for what you've carried. You don't have to do it alone. I get it now. And I am here. And now you let her rest. What you just did, love, what you just experienced is a capacity shift, not a mindset shift, not a pep talk, not a thought, a felt sense of release in the body. And sometimes it happens just like this. And sometimes it happens in community, and sometimes it happens from taking a remedy. And all of those things, you need all of them, and they all work together. And this is the work we're going to be doing in January. Trust, victim energy, disassociation as capacity issues, not character flaws, not trauma limitations that you have to learn to live with. And if you felt even 5% lighter right now, imagine what six weeks of this will do. We are so proud of you. And we are right here with you. We love you so much. Peace.